4 weeks Post Op. New Pics Time Warp

Hello my friends. I say that because I have read and re-read all of the MM stories on here and have taken a little piece from each of you for my journey. Here is my story... I am a 40 year old mother of 2 (11 &17) and stepmother of 2 (15 &18) ALL GIRLS!!!! I am 5'3.5" & 128 lbs. VERY deflated 34B :( I had my first when I was 23 and I weighed in at 228 lbs. and after having her I remained 211 lbs for quite some time (years). Over the course of the next 11 years I would find myself up and down and all over the board weight wise. My weight was always a struggle through youth and up until about 3 years ago when I finally managed to even out at 128-130. Not an easy accomplishment, but necessary. This journey started a loooong time ago with as much research as one could possibly do. I had gone into this motivated by my wrecked boobies. It seemed that whenever I would get close to solidifying any surgery date, the rug would be pulled out from under me and other priorities would raise their heads forcing my plans for self improvement aside. Today I know it was a blessing that things didn't work out years ago. After a divorce (or 2), getting sober (8years), and a new marriage, I am ready to take that proverbial plunge into the next chapter of my life "the 40's". My husband tells me that I have reinvented myself since getting sober. I like to think he is right. I am exactly who I want to be at this very moment, minus the sagging boobies and flabby tummy BLAH! He is the most wonderful man on the planet, and I always say to myself that I had to kiss every one of the toads I did to appreciate the miracle I have today. So grateful. Ok, enough of the mushy stuff. I have been to see three (3) PS because that was what I would give myself. Pick three then pick one. Which I did and I have to tell you, I feel like I got the best of the best. No looking back no doubts. You see here is the deal....the truth...I lost my brother (36) to a pulmonary embolism back in 2007 2 weeks after gastric bypass surgery and my mom had a blood clot when she delivered her first child (she had 5). The PS that would be my choice would have to have my safety first and foremost in his mind. The other two surgeons were very nonchalant about the procedure and my PS was all over it. He wanted to know every detail and sat in front of me eye to eye and listened which meant the world to me. I don't even think he knows that. I will have to share that with him :) Once I called his office and set the date and gave the deposit, it all became real to me. This was finally going to happen as long as all my bloodwork comes back ok. Now the hard part, telling my mom. Not an easy chore considering she lost her son from an elective procedure and although he had numerous risks going in, she may not see it that way. BTW she herself had a BL/BA 20+ years ago, but "do as I say not as I do" tends to prevail. I spent the day with her and we went back and forth, but I stood my ground and assured her that if at any time the risks outweigh the benefits, I will not have the TT and Lipo. We'll see. I have seen the Hematologist per my PS and had 9 vials of blood drawn which will check for all kinds of coagulation disorders and such. My results come back Monday, March 12 @ 9:00 am...I'm on pins and needles. This will determine the clearance for surgery. I'm so glad I went to the hematologist, he said that having 2 first degree relatives (mother and brother) that have had clotting issues, it was very important that I get checked. This is my biggest fear going into this surgery. But I will trust the process as well as the doctors. At my consultation, I tried on sizers and came up with 450cc HP silicone. I'm very comfortable with my choice however the doctor said that is about as big as he would feel comfortable doing :) baw-chicka-wah-wah...I am most excited about my boobies. I cannot wait. My biggest pet peeve is when I hear "you are so beautiful and you have a great body why are you doing this"? Mind you, this is from people that ONLY see me when I am dressed. They don't see the bra that is padded 3 sizes bigger so it makes me a D, or when I'm tucking my stomach in a pair of jeans, or strategically placing my bathing suit over my "shelf", or holding my hands over my body parts when I am around my husband because I am so self conscience. I'm actually going to gain precious time not maneuvering clothing over the "goodies". This is where all of your stories have helped me. Although we are all very different, we share a common peril and where others may see a weakness, I see a community of brave women pursuing something that has been a dream for so long, creating strength for others. These are not pages for the squeamish or superficial for sure. I share my story and journey with all of you in hopes that I can give back a little of what I have been given. My pre-op is 3/16/12, I will keep you all posted.

I'm in the car headed to my 9:00 appointment with the hematologist. This is the day I get thumbs up or thumbs down for surgery. I never knew how much this meant to me until this morning. I'm sooooo nervous.

NOT JUST THUMBS UP, THUMBS WAYYYYY UP!!!!!! He said we could not have asked for better results, he will write to my PS and let him know I do not need any special treatment (the only time I don't mind NOT having special treatment).

This is such a win on so many levels. With or without the surgery, knowing that my blood is not "thick" or "sticky" has cleared so many worries I have had since my brother passing. I realize there are still risks, but I have done my homework and now I will trust the process and the doctors.

I'm soooooo excited.