Finally Doing This for Me! - Monterey, CA

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Well I'm a 28 (almost 29) year old mother of two. ...

Well I'm a 28 (almost 29) year old mother of two. I was HUGE with both of my kids - mostly because I'm barely 5'1" so my body did not stretch very well. After I had my boys, I managed to become very depressed and just didn't care about my body at all and gained a lot of weight getting my self up around 200 pounds. My husband is in the military and with him coming and going I never found time for myself - it was all about him and the kids. After his second deployment started I nearly fell down the stairs when I got dizzy carrying my son to bed and ended up at the doctors. I was told that if I didn't do something about my weight I was going to be diabetic since I was borderline at that point. So that was it for me - I didn't want to end up like my parents. My father is overweight (nearly 300 pounds), has high blood pressure, diabetes and is probably the most un healthy person that I know. My mother passed away at the age of 41 of a heart attack pretty much from her weight fluctuating so much and all of the diet pills she took over the years. I looked at my little ones and knew that wasn't a future I wanted for them - or myself. So I busted my butt (literally!) and got myself down to 150 pounds. I'm a crossfitter and I actually weigh more than I look due to all the muscle. But you can't see nearly half of it because of all of the excess skin in my stomach. I don't even remember the last time I was able to wear a normal pair of low rise jeans instead of old lady high (belly button height) jeans. I'm young I shouldn't feel so old in my clothes! And I want my confidence back! I worked so hard to get where I am and I'd love to see the body that goes with the hard work and the weight loss finally! So I went to Dr. Zewert - here in Monterey, CA and his passion and honesty sealed the deal for me. I have no intention of being Barbie or perfect- I'm just so ready to be me again! I have 2 more days until my surgery and I'm nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. I feel guilty that I'm doing this for myself instead of doing something more for my family, but I keep reminding myself that in the end this is for them too! AHHH!! YAY!

Surgery is in the morning! Here's my before pics I took today

Morning of surgery!!

Well I barely slept and I'm sitting on my couch about to shower and get ready to head to the surgery center in about an hour or so. I'm freaking out and want to just stay home and be a chicken! Haha. I know I'll be ok but it's all hitting me now that I'm finally doing this. I'm so excited but the fear is topping it all right now. I hope the healing process after is smooth and that my husband and kids can handle this too. I hate that I'm panicking day of!! I'm going to assume this is normal tho.

I did say goodbye to my old lady jeans this morning tho! I won't have to tuck my skin in high waisted jeans after this and that thrills me beyond belief! No more feeling like a frumpy old lady at 28 years old! I'm so ready for this but I just wish there was an easy button for recovery. It's the fear of the unknown. Well time to shower and get ready - see you guys on the flat side!

I'm home!

Well I did it!!! I got to the surgery center around 9 am and by 10 they had me in my beautiful gown and compression tights. Around 11 the surgeon came in and marked me up and the anesthesia guy came to talk to me. He could tell I was nervous so he gave me something in my IV to relax me and honestly that's the last thing I remember! I don't know how I got in the OR and apparently I woke up after and was answering the docs questions but I don't remember that either! So far I feel ok but I'm def draining a lot of blood ESP on my right side. Standing up the first time was wierd but lets hope each day gets better and this is the worst of it. Tomorrow I have a follow up and I finally get to see myself!

I got to see myself!

It was so amazing! I cried like a baby bc I couldn't believe that my skin was just gone. I'm so so so swollen but I'm still so happy with how it looks. I'm day 1 PO and sore now that the bandages are off but am so excited that I got to see!!

Here's day 1 after surgery pics. My first look!

Day 2 PO

Well it's day 2 and I'm exhausted. I'm not in any pain but I'm sore and having muscle spasms like crazy. I can't even barely keep my eyes open. My drains seem okay but they're starting to drain more yellow than red so I hope that's normal.

Few more pictures

Day 5 PO- and I'm swelling like crazy!!!

Well I had a follow up visit for my 5 day and was hoping to have my drains out but because I'm still releasing too much fluid he wants them in a few more days . I wAs so so swollen too when they unwrapped me - it was horrible! My vagina I swore was like double in size!!! I hope I look better soon bc I looked horrible today that it made me sad and wonder what I did!

Survived week 1!!

Well it hasn't been fun but I made it a week! My hips and top of my butt are soooo swollen prob from a mix of sitting and the fact my incision goes far back bc it was extended. This CG is annoying and I can't wait to take it off. Right now my PS said not to unless he does so I'm hoping I get the all clear soon. When did you guys switch from the CG to something else?? I feel insanely swollen all the time still but it's crazy to look down and see no roll! I went to the docs day 5 and they told me to wait till Friday (tomorrow) to come back with hope of having my drains removed. I'm hoping my body feels a little more normal without them in. Oh and I'm crazy itchy! Anyone know how to help that?! It's been a week without a shower and I smell at this point I think like a homeless man haha! These sponge baths just aren't the same as a real shower!

Needing help is getting old

Okay - I guess this is more of a rant (since I'm keeping this blog as a reminder to myself of all of this for later on) but I am getting tired of relying on people for help and not getting it. I know I'm doing way too much too soon but I'm not really left with much of a choice. So for those of you considering this surgery and haven't done it yet - make sure your husband/boyfriend or whoever is 110% on board with how helpless you really need to be. Before we went into this my husband (who I've been having problems with) was all for it. He was very supportive and I made sure to emphasize how much help I will need - not only with the kids (who are young ages 5 and 3) but ME! Well day 1 was okay but ever since it's less and less. And it's like he doesn't care that I'm getting up and bathing my kids at night or cooking them some dinner. Right now I'm starving on my couch ready for breakfast but I'm trying so hard to stay sitting today with high hopes of getting my drains removed tomorrow and not once has he asked me "how are you feeling today?" " Can I get you anything?" and it hurts. I feel kinda betrayed. I'm an independant person but to know that I need this downtime to heal properly and knowing I'm not getting the help I need - well it's not fair when I've always done everything for him. So I guess the point of this is - MAKE SURE!!! you have full on help. Because it's emotional and not easy when you don't. I have neighbors that help with my kids when hes at work - but when he's home I guess I expected more - well a lot more. He tries I know he does but I think he's just fed up. So... good luck ladies. I know I need it to survive these next few months. But on a positive note - I look so much better and I'm finally off my meds - except maybe one pain killer at night just to help me actually get comfortable. So there's ups and downs ( a lot of them! in this process). Thanks for letting me get it out there!

Drains are out!

So this morning (DPO 8) both of my drains were finally removed as well as the stitches in my belly button! YAYYYY!! I feel so free now. t did burn but I took 2 pain pills before I went to try and help. It wasn't as bad as I thought - lasted about 15 seconds. The doc said these next 10 days are crucial to stay on the couch still so i dont develop a fluid collection or an infection while everything closes up and heals on its own. I will post pics later of my "new body"! I love the support I've gotten on here - Thanks so much ladies - you're all an inspiration to me!

Day 8 photos!!!

I'm drain free and took some photos today!

First shower! 9DPO

So I FINALLY took my first shower after 9 days of not being allowed to and HOLY CRAP was that exhausting! I was so excited going in thinking YES! I'll get to wash my hair about 10 times, relax under the warm water and even shave my legs.. HAHA NO! I still feel kinda dirty (but at least I smell good!) and I'm ready for a nap! It's crazy how much it took out of me to even try to do something so simple.

9DPO photos

I finally got dressed today to hop from my couch to my next door neighbors for a BBQ and figured is share the real and new happy me!


A friend asked me for this earlier....

She wanted to see me at my biggest before I lost the weight and then now 9DPO as a side by side... So I figured why not. HOLY CRAP! I had already had both my kids and was just... big. I remember thinking to myself hey I don't look half bad. When realistically I looked like Jabba the Hut! Well.. here it is! Me at my biggest (202lbs. and my youngest was already over a year old ) and me this afternoon.

Normal at 10 DPO??

Feeling pretty crappy

So I'm 11DPO and I'm just feeling crappy. I'm kinda nauseous these days and swollen and red around my incision site. I have a horrible headache at the moment and honestly I'm tired of being tired! Being a couch potato isn't as fun as it sounded! Lets hope I get some energy back soon! My PS wants me relaxing still for a few more days and then ill be cleared to do things like clean the house, laundry- small things. Good thing too bc my house is a wreck! Oh and side note: sneezing is torture! Haha!

A little unexpected trip to the PS today...

So for the past few days I have had a lot of swelling, lumps, welts, and extreme itching around my incision. I just assumed this was normal in the healing process and tried to ignore it. Actually it's been going on for about a week but the last two days have just been pure HELL with it. Last night after my shower my husband even questioned if it was supposed to be that red and raised. So I figured calling the PS to ask couldn't hurt. At first because I said that I had a "lump" he was concerned of a seroma (which it def. thankfully wasn't) so he had me come in immediately just to be on the safe side. Which is part of what I love about him - is how caring he is about his patients. So I get there and go figure I'm allergic to the adhesive on the tape they put over my incision!! What the?! So thankfully it wasn't anything major but only me this would happen to! So they removed the tape, gave me something to counteract the allergic reaction, some hydrocortizone cream and told me I'd be okay now.. But to continue to take it easy since now there's no tape or anything covering my incision but my binder. I haven't really looked at the scar yet - well briefly. Looked really thin but since it's still so red I can't really assess how I feel about it quiet yet. Well that was my eventful day on top of everything else that decided to happen today all at once in my house.

Lucky number 13?

Well it's 2:30 am - 13 DPO and yesterday my tape was removed from my incision due to an allergic reaction plus it was starting to lift off anyway. Well up until tonight I haven't felt like I NEEDED pain pills. But tonight I can honestly say I'm feeling this surgery. I just popped 2 pain pills in hopes it gets better soon. My PS had me stop them last week unless I needed them. Yeah well.... This just sucks right now. And to top it off I got my period and the wonderful "swell hell" has begun! Hooray!!!!! No regrets but damn this hurts tonight!


I never ever dream. Ever since the surgery and being on these meds, I do almost every night and they're never good dreams! It's always bad stuff and with the craziest people in them! Or dreams of my worst fears. Super wierd!!

2 weeks today!

I feel like each day at this point is different from the next. Some days I feel great and the others I feel like complete crap! I'm gonna post 2 pics to celebrate making it to 2 weeks of my belly and one of me in a dress I have never been able to wear but have been staring at in my closet for probably about a year now!


So I'm pretty much on my own at this point with taking care of my kids and I'm still exhausted! Swell hell I think is beginning - mostly right above my incision but, all in all I feel pretty good! I drove for the first time yesterday for about 10 min and it was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. My scar is getting better but my PS still told me not to put anything on it just yet so I'm waiting. I bought some Bio oil so I'm just waiting for the go ahead . The incision itself seems very thin - it's just red/bruised around it it seems.

Doc update 3 weeks PO

Well I had my 3 week PO follow up today and found out I have a very very small fluid build up. He went to drain it out and of course I passed out. Yup. Only me. So he decided to wrap me really tight and have me on bed rest this next week to let it try and resolve itself. Lets hope this works!

Swell Hell!

This shit is no joke! I was told "oh you're gonna swell and be uncomfortable between weeks 3-6" but I figured yea yea how bad can it be. Holy crap dude! Sometimes I look down and feel like the Michelin man! My hips are insanely swollen around the back of my incision and I am still all puffy and soft now around the center, right above my incision but below my belly button. It was nice and tight last week and this week - BAM! poofy! It's crazy! I have a follow up tomorrow at my doctors and I'm praying that the small fluid pocket I had is gone because if he whips out that needle again to drain it - I will most likely hit the floor... again. Plus I'm ready to just move forward and stop being in the "couch potato" stage of all of this. I'll be 1 month PO in 3 more days. There's so much more to healing then I imagined!

One month PO

Well I'm feeling pretty good minus the swelling and the fact I've randomly gained 4 pounds! Lets hope that goes away soon!

5 weeks PO

So I started working yesterday and holy swelling! I'm still really happy with my results tho even with all the swelling going on. I bought some pants for work and was able to go from an 8/10 to a 6! One pair from old navy was even a 4! Today I worked out for the first time and it was .... Hard! I'm def starting over and I was exhausted after about 15 minutes! As of today I'm told not to wear my binder anymore except to bed if I choose. I think I swell more without the binder tho. My stomach just feels wierd throughout the day. All in all tho I feel pretty good! So I'm hoping to feel more normal soon!

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