Mommy Makeover 31 Yr Old, 5'1", 103 Lbs, 3 Kids. Breast Implants and Tummy Tuck - Midvale, UT

As a 31 yr old mother of three (7, 4, and 2 yr old), I have given up my body and mind to my family. They are my world. However, being past the stage of "growing humans", it's time to TAKE MY BODY BACK! I am excited and terrified. I have come to learn that anxiety and excitement are two closely related emotions. I joined Realself recently to further educate myself in the process of this big decision. I cant decide if it is helpful or worse in calming the nerves. I am 5'1", 103 lbs, 34 A cup. I have lost all my fat and saggy skin is left behind. My abdominal separation is moderate and you cant tell with clothes on but the skin is bad. I would love to get into that bikini again. The recovery from the tt sounds horrible but only time will tell. As for the implants I am leaning towards a natural look. I have never had boobs (other than nursing) so this is new territory for me. I know very little here and there are so many different kind of boobs out there now I dont even know what "natural" is anymore. Surgery is scheduled for March 9, 2015. Join me on my journey through this emotional and physical rollercoaster. All aboard!!

I have been obsessively researching pros cons, pre and post operative preparations, what to expect, what to discuss with your PS, complications that can occur, success stories, failure stories, ...and I am officially freaked out. Everyday it seems to change; I think, "hey, I got this!", then it quickly goes to, "what if I am the one that dies on the table? My husband will have to lie about my death to EVERYONE because I refuse to be remembered that way." Crazy you say? Why yes, I would agree with you. I experienced anxiety and worry about this decision for about a week, then I went out and bought a few preparation supplies (ie. front zip MuMu, front closure bras, made a few rice sizers,--had some fun there--, vitamins, extra pillows). And now, I am feeling much better. There is something to be said for a little "retail therapy"; am I right, Girls?! The anxiety has ebbed and I am getting my lists and preparations together. I am ecstatic about my BA. No worries what so ever! I can't wait to feel how the other half feels. However, My main concern is the TT. I am pretty thin to begin with. i was told very little, if any lipo would be needed for the TT. I find myself contemplating "the TRADE". Do I trade one set of scars for another? My complaint with my tummy is the sagging skin, stretch marks and deformed belly button. Is it worth it? Do I really need it? I would LOVE to be in that bikini again, but how bad do I want it? I still have time to chicken out I guess. What do you think?

When I initially made the decision for a mommy makeover I was confident I could do this. However, shortly after making my down payment, it got real, real scary. I began to feel a variety of emotions that I did not anticipate: anxiety, nerves, guilt, excitement, fear of the unknown and the known, and lastly, shame. I tried to drowned out the negative emotions in research. I thought if I was prepared enough and understood all possibilities i would feel better. Nope! It made it worse. Believe me, there is such a thing as "knowing too much" ;-) Now, it was the "shame" that was the most damaging. I began to put myself on an emotional island. I would not include my husband in even a discussion of the surgery and when I would engage him in something on my mind I quickly would punish him for the opinion I had solicited. I grew up in an environment where I was confident and happy, proud of the body God gave me. It was beautiful and healthy, and I was taught most importantly beauty is found within, we are all children of God. However, I had cooked up this idea that having "work done" was kind of a slap in the face to God, that His gift of this body wasnt good enough if you had plastic surgery. So here I am, an adult, 3 kids later, still healthy, still comfortable in my own skin, but really wanting something more the gym was never going to give me back. The shame and guilt came from the previous schema of ignorance and self righteousness in contrast with the desire to feel like a woman and the amount of money it was going to take to do so. I kept thinking, "what is wrong with me that I 'need' this? Am I really that insecure? Wait, but I am not an insecure person." Confused, I recognized the emotions but I could not figure out why I felt this consuming shame until I realized, everyone in my world growing up who told me you dont need to change anything to be beautiful had had "work done" at some point: Breast Augs, tummy tucks, lipo, face lifts. Liars! They were all liars! After a good cathartic cry I was able to conclude the following: Now, yes, true beauty is found within but beauty has nothing to do with it. How we look and beauty are two different things. You can look physically good and still be a [RS bleep], beauty escapes you. It is the way we treat others that makes us beautiful. This realization was freeing. We all have a little vanity and IT IS OKAY! I am not a horrible person for wanting something for me. I am not slapping God in the face. I am a woman! A loving kind mother who gives everything to her family, and my sweet husband wants to give something to me. Even if it's a procedure to restore the gift God gave me. Like I said, beauty is not how we look but is the way we treat others. Just like getting braces is not shameful in changing your smile, this surgery is not shameful in the least. I have had a wild ride of emotions this last month and now, I am finally at peace. I am excited. We, husband included, are finally having fun with this. It is a gift, a wonderful thing. Thank you for reading my journey so far as I share these deep unanticipated struggles. I am a work in progress and all the better for the humility and realizations and growth. 'Til next time.