450cc HP Mentor Memory Gel, 5'6" 115, Under muscle silicone from Over muscle anatomical saline

At the very young and naive age of 22 I decided...

At the very young and naive age of 22 I decided that I needed a BA. Didnt matter that I had positively perky and adorable breasts, I wanted a better version of them. At the time I worked with a bunch of girls in Charlotte NC who had beautiful BA's but I wanted to save money (even though they all went to the same guy with perfect results) I spent time looking online (this was 2003 so there was no Real Self to guide me) and found a Doc in TN that was going to charge me $1000 less. Huge mistake, one I would never make again. I drove there and scheduled my surgery for the next day. I did absolutely no research on types of implants, placement, incision site, etc. What I ended up with were Anatomical implants placed above the muscle. As I learned in my later years working for a plastic surgeon in CA, prob the worst combination of implant and placing you could choose. My doc didnt let me choose my CC's, and had a real salty bedside manner. At 22 years old I didnt have the confidence to question it.
Right from the beginning I knew they were off, as anatomical implants have a tendency to shift, and since they arent round, its VERY obvious. With the shape irregularities also came the gross feeling of the saline bag very close to the surface, and even the feeling of the fill valve under my areola. You can imagine how self conscious Ive been of them forever.
Cut to now. I live in NYC, Im from LA, and have access to a number of qualified terrific surgeons. Due to family all over the country, I checked in numerous cities for Docs I might like, including LA, NY, NJ, PA, and Orange County. I posted on Real Self and Dr Krau had responded to it in the most eloquent and informed way possible. Other docs had made some really crazy suggestions, including lifts and deflating them and letting them be that way for a few months which sounded like hell. I have never even considered a lift as my breasts, even at 35 years old, are perky as hell. I hadnt even considered Miami, but quickly saw how many great Docs were based there.
After speaking to many on phone consultations, and seeing some for local consultations, my gut instinct kept telling me Dr. Krau. He has always been very quick to respond to my questions, and there is something in his confidence and ease that makes you feel safe and well cared for. And this just through email and phone! The office staff is also very nice and overall has let me ask as many questions as I need to.

Dr Krau will be removing my old saline implants, removing the old capsules, closing those pockets, creating new ones of course and switching to round Silicone. Some docs suggested removing strips of the capsule, none at all, benelli lift, deflation, etc. Dr Krau did not even hesitate or stumble when explaining why. In fact he never had to explain because he explained everything so thoroughly that I was at a loss for questions. Please understand that I worked for a reputable plastic surgeon in Orange County CA (tons of BA's) for 3 years, and it is not so common to find a doc with great pics, great bedside manner and a great staff.

I have booked an airb&b room to stay in for the week which will hopefully be enough time. I own a spray tan business here in NY which should be interesting for recovery since Im constantly favoring one side of my body while working:/ Also will be missing most of snowboarding season and Central America (always go in the winter) for surfing which Im super bummed about but can not wait to have boobs that I love.

If any one of you is a surfer and knows about how long before you were comfortable getting back out there, that would be sooooo appreciated. Would love to plan my next trip:)

Supplement Recommendations?

I know of Vita Medica, but does anyone have any suggestions for pre and post surgery supplements? I know that Arnica and Bromelain are a good place to start, but if you have a brand that you liked that would be helpful. Thanks!

Flight and Pre Op to meet the Doc tomorrow!

Time flew by and Im excited to be heading to Miami tomorrow. I have been taking some pre surgery supplements the last couple of weeks and feel like a million bucks. From what I hear from others they should help me with a speedy recovery as well. I decided to stay at a beautiful airBnB near my surgical center, which was quite affordable in comparison to a hotel. The link is here https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/4108188 and my hosts have been more than accommodating so far about the surgery situation.
If anyone is interested Im taking a good multi vitamin, probiotics, bromelain (yes even before surgery to get my digestive system ready for yucky anti-biotics), a ton of Vitamin C for inflammation and collagen formation, Quercetin which is a bioflavanoid that helps Vit C absorb more readily and also works to reduce histamines (great for allergies and possible allergic reactions), Mono Laurin for immunity, and lots of Vitamin D since its winter in NYC and I'm not getting enough of it to feel like a normal human being. Not gonna lie, I feel invincible and full of energy:)

Also adding some wish pics. Im hoping I'll be able to get more fullness down below with excellent cleavage, thats the goal anyway. Probably going to need to go a little bigger CC wise, but from experience (had my first BA for 13 years) I dont want to be so big that they get in the way of my active lifestyle. SO excited to love my breasts again!

I also will be listening to hypnosis before, during (surgeon approved) and after to help speed up recovery. There is a good one in the Itunes app store called "Power of Mind" and once you download that for free you can buy other programs for $4. I bought one for healing and youre able to loop it to play it as many times as you like. Perfect for surgery!

Tomorrow is the big day!

Flew in to Miami this morning for my pre-op with Dr Krau and staff. They are all really lovely and even one of the girls in the waiting room was there for a consultation because she had multiple friends with good work done by him. Good sign! I'm still a little nervous about size as I dont want to be too big but I do want cleavage! Apparently you cant be small AND have cleavage haha. I just have to trust the doctor. He's going to use sizers during surgery to figure out what works best on my frame and get me the results I want. This is where those wish pictures definitely help! I think I'll end up somewhere in the 400 range.

Unfortunately surgery wont be until 230pm so I'll be a full blown snickers commercial by then. Trying to stay awake late tonight so I can sleep in tomorrow and not have too many hunger pangs. Cant wait to be out of surgery and on my way to being fully healed!


My time just got pushed to 3, which means I prob wont go into surgery until 330 Im sure. I am soooo hungry and weak, my blood sugar must be dismal. Got up to go to the bathroom and between the anxiety and empty stomach almost fell over. Just gotta make it to 3!! Learned the hard way this am to only bring a friend to help you out if you are positive they will put your needs first and not stress you out. Days like this there is no room for added stress. Cant wait for surgeryyyy. Next post will be of the new girls!

Recovery Day 1

Ladies it is a pleasure to receive your well wishes I can't even tell you. Thank you x 1000, surgery is scary but this sites members have really eased my mind.

So I went from scheduled at 230, to pushed to 3, to surgery around 5! I was so weak! Haha. Didn't leave recovery until 930pm if you can believe it, but it was a blessing in disguise as I slept well last night because of it.
Dr Krause is a dream in so many ways. He is a perfectionist which I knew seeing his work already but was confirmed during my pre surgical meeting. Not only is he looking for obvious breast and nipple asymmetry but also shoulder back and chest wall asymmetry. I was surprised when he pointed out the difference in my shoulder, then took another couple of photos for his reference.I knew I was in great hands.

I expressed m concerns with my anesthesiologist who put me at ease and uses a very small needle for the meds. He got my vein the first try and I have no track marks today which is shocking. People always have a hell of a time with my veins so this impressed me. Seng gave me my "pina colada" as he called it. The Dr came in all smiles and held my hand for a few moments before it was lights out. It's these moments when your surgeon choice makes all difference.
I did listen to a hypnosis for healing and general relaxation during my procedure. One I highly recommend doing so as there are a million studies documenting the benefits of meditation and hypnosis with healing times,stress levels etc. Just ask if you'd like to know where I got my recording. Cost me $4 and was worth every penny! At the very least try to have classical music on.or something very ambient. I would suggest against any music with lyrics as you don't want a subliminal message about heartbreak and sadness or something becUse you accidentally snuck a Taylor swift song in there! Haha

I came to in recovery with the lovely nurse Sonia and as warned was shaking like a leaf from anesthesia. After a few sets of water and getting back to normal I was released to my friend. We ordered and Uber car to get home and it was a jaguar which was a nice touch. As warned the anesthesiologist told me I might feel sick with my blood pressure starting to regulate itself, and I definitely started feeling it in the car. As soon as I got home I went right to the toilet and threw up, but luckily it was just all water and not that unpleasant, as far as throwing up goes anyway ha ha.

Ate some crackers and took my anti-nausea medicine as soon as I got back, and within less than an hour I was starving and eating anything I could get my hands on. I had a banana a bunch of crackers a bagful of microwave popcorn and half a container of cottage cheese. I felt great after finally eating . I decided to break my pain medicine in have so that I didn't get to groggy or weird feeling. I never do that great with painkillers. I had Percocet and ambien, both of which got broken in half and take in like clockwork. Went to bed at midnight, woke up at 4 AM took my dose, slept till 8, it's now after nine and I haven't dosed yet . Trying to take the least amount of narcotics possible , but I did start my Arnica tablets ASAP when I got home last night and throughout the night. Sitting outside right now and even know I feel good I can definitely still see a little disturbance in my vision from the medication, but thank God I don't feel nauseous . Chest is tight and definitely making weird gurgling noises every time I sit up, but I am able to sit up on my own as long as I'm in a somewhat elevated position already. I was able to get up three times last night to use the bathroom on my own. Mind over matter:) back to the doctors office today to see how everything is coming along, but I can already tell that these are going to look amazing. Unsnapped my bra last night to take a peek and I am already in love with the cleavage so soon. Of course they are high and slightly square but not as bad as I've seen some others so I guess having skin loosened from my first breast augmentation definitely helps. Here are some photos from last night and feel free to ask me any questions at all:)

Dr Krau not Krause like my stupid auto correct insists on. Apologies

See above^

Day 1 picture

Riding high and square but can already tell my cleavage will be great after they drop and fluff. Finally took my first pain pill of the day at noon. Drive to the docs office made me aware of all sorts of pain. Resting now though.

Day 2 - Glad its over

So first day after surgery was the worst. I decided to not take pain meds which finally caught up with me in the evening and I gave in. Had plenty of an appetite but was desperate for a BM which I also finally had. Ive been able to move my arms around well enough and have taken 2 showers since surgery, including washing my hair by myself. Getting dressed and doing things has been manageable, and even though my friend was helpful at times, Ive also realized I could have toughed it out on my own. My friend ended up being a huge drag, really selfish (i.e. not turning his computer off at midnight to let me go to sleep because he "wasnt tired yet") so I asked him to leave today which he did. A client of mine in NY sent one of her friends over to take me out for dinner and a distraction which was really nice since he was kind enough to bring me a bag of groceries from whole foods. Nice guy! Hung out with him for 3 hours, walking around Miami which was exhausting!!! I did too much too soon thats for sure. Back home resting now.

If youre traveling alone you can do it!! You just need to set yourself up with enough easy food items and groceries, plenty of water, set up the shower so everything is accesible without too much reaching, and unscrew your pill bottles before surgery! Theyre very difficult to open haha. Found that out quick. Even the night after surgery I used the bathroom without help 3 times. You can do it! Just make sure youre able to call a cab if you need to go somewhere as driving is impossible and walking too far is exhausting.

Boobs are looking good but the bruising finally showed up. The swelling is also the worst part as it pushes against my bra, my ribs, and breastbone and makes breathing uncomfortable. Ive been icing the bruising with frozen peas and taking my arnica, plus applying topically. Doc did a ton of pocket work on me and im sure a lot of internal sutures so I guess this is to be expected. Even on Day 2 though I can see things moving around and changing. Thank god for the ladies of real self who post their day to day pics so that I know I can get to the holy land of dropping and fluffing too hah. Because right now they are ridiculous looking, but still love em:)

450cc High Profile Silicone, Under the Muscle

My stats so you dont have to scroll through comments:)

Went from 300 cc textured moderate anatomical above the muscle, to 450 cc high profile silicone Mentors under the muscle.

Ladies, do not ever get anatomical implants, ever. Mine shifted from the get go and never looked right. Worst mistake ever and absolutely was my original PS neglectful decision to use those.

Fluid Drained

Sooo today is my last day in Miami and I went in to see the doc. There had been a bunch of swelling around my bottom boob area and bra line. Turns out it was excess fluid from my old pockets. My body may have absorbed it over time but it was enough so that my doc thought it best to drain it.
He numbed me up with a tiny needle which I didnt even feel. Then the giant syringes came out and the more swollen boob gave 3 massive syringes of what looked like berry smoothie. Yes, as gross as it sounds. Thank GOD there was no pain because I was def getting a little woozy. Right boob wasnt as swollen and didnt have as much fluid. Doc explained its a combo of antibiotic solution left over from surgery, blood, and some body fluid. Blargh. Of course the fluid isnt completely gone but should allow my body to catch up some and absorb it. I'll try some light lymphatic drainage and upping my water intake, even though Im drinking a good amount.
Besides that he says everything is healing good and implants are high as to be expected of course. I saw pics of another patient of his at 28 days who looked almost exactly like me in Week 1, and her Week 4 pic was incredible!! He agreed that dropping starts happening in the week 2-4 range. So Im gonna be patient and just start moving some of this fluid around as he showed me.

Paranoia in full effect

It seems like its inevitable that after surgery your paranoia will kick in at some point. Some call it the boobie blues which I got as well around Day 5. I HAD to get out of Miami and get home so I coughed up $200 to Delta and changed my flight.
Flight was perfectly easy even though it was only 4 days after surgery.
LADIES- If you have to fly, request wheelchair service! I did and boy was it needed. No way I could have carried my bags (small as they were) through the airport, waited in security lines, and stowed them away myself. Get the wheelchair. I requested it over the phone and they picked me up at curbside check-in, in Miami and back in NYC. I took a pain pill just in case which I ended up regretting as they make me feel so yucky. Def didnt need it.

Back to my paranoia- So my left boob from the get go has had more fluid and swelling. He drained so much fluid out of that one, I will spare you. My right has been dropping quicker as I imagine it would since Im right handed and prob favor it without even noticing. However my right side feels so much tighter, which the nurse said is normal and a combination of being right handed, it dropping quicker, and there being less swelling. All of this makes perfect sense and I worked for a PS, I know these things. But when its your body, omg, paranoia. So im trying to chill the F out about it.


For the fluid I looked up some lymphatic drainage massage techniques on youtube and have been doing them since yesterday. I feel there has already been progree, especially if I let the boobs rest out of the bra for an hour or two and get the fluid moving. Bra is so damn tight I think its cutting off my lymph drainage. They say Calendula and Echinacea helps the Lymphatic system so Ive been drinking a lot of tea with it, and the added benefit of more water should help with the flushing out. I can not even BEGIN to tell you how gross it sounds and feels pushing lymphatic fluid through my collar bone area and breasts but whatever.

Here is the link for the video and its great for post breast procedures to facilitate quicker healing and swelling reduction https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr0kqKFMfww

My boobs are healing on two different time tables, blah. You can def see my left one more swollen and high and it looks like its lower but thats where all the fluid is accumulating so its kind of an optical illusion. Sighhh. All that being said, Yay new boobs!! That cleavage is gonna be off the hook:)

Sisters not Twins- Day 8

So Ive chilled out since my last post. The tightness on my right side finally subsided and my implants are actually able to be manipulated now without feeling like rocks. Lefty is dropping a wee bit slower and there is still some fluid in my old pocket down at the bottom of my breast, hence why it looks a little lower (droopier?) Once that fluid all gets absorbed it should stop casting a bigger shadow than its righty sister:) I think for the first time today I noticed righty starting to fluff and get less square. Yay!!
I got back to work ( I have a spray tan company here in NYC) and its been surprisingly manageable considering I do the same repetitive movement over and over. Def not helping my left side catch up. Doc said I can sleep on my side tonight, FINALLY. I have been getting such leg and butt cramps from having to sleep on my back, the worst. He did tell me to sleep with my bra strap on another week though, meh. I def give myself breaks from it during the day, doesnt feel so great riding up in my armpits all the time.

Patience patience, but I think theyre coming along and Im excited to see what another week brings. Hopefully fluid will drain by then!

Day 10- Just Because

Took a sleeping pill last night because I had enough of not sleeping well. Ive got this nagging soreness on my breast bone and every time I sleep on my side its annoying.
Left breast is still higher but I realized (duh on day 10) that my shoulder is actually much higher on my left side. In fact everything is, including my eye brow and eye lid (kind of drives me nuts) SO it occured to me that I guess its pretty normal for it to be sitting a little higher too. That or it really is just dropping slower. It is so easy to look at everyones pics on Real self and obsess haha. Seriously though, do I look normal?? Arghh.

On a less neurotic note, noticeable difference in fluid on the bottom of my left breast, finally!! Lymphatic massage did the trick I think, or more movement, or more water, haha. Whatever, its moving.

My Doc did not suggest massage which I kind of agree with on one hand... aggressive massage can really screw up a surgeons work and open up his pockets (hello bottoming out and armpit implants, goodbye cleavage). But I do very gently move my implant up and down in the pocket while in the shower to make sure everything stays supple. And I mean very gently. More up than down so as to not push my fold out of whack as I did have a bottomed out breast beforehand. The PS I worked for also didnt condone aggressive massage but so hard to know whats "right", if there is such a thing. Happy so far though


Maybe because I have more swelling and fluid on the left side its making it look like the implant is sitting higher? Why did that just occur to me now? Good lord I need more sleep but I feel better all of a sudden. Who says the fluids just on the bottom? Prob all over on the left side. Ok, Im done with my epiphany haha

Normal I guess?

So on a whim I just grabbed a handful of swelling on left boob to see what that did visually, and low and behold, I think everything is actually settling pretty evenly. The swelling is so visually distorting in pictures that Ive been really paranoid about it looking so different. Well, now I see, theyre not so different. Oh and finally got my period 2 weeks late!! Thanks surgery! But grateful it was late as it was technically supposed to show up the day of surgery, which I think we all know would have been terrrrrible.

First bikini

Just for the heck of it, tried on a bikini top I used to hate because it emphasized the gap in my old BA. I'm not sure I'll ever find a bikini top again that I dont love. This cleavage!! Im still in awe.

Nearing the 3 week mark

Hi all! Just a quick update on the girls. Everything seems to be moving along though my left is still higher/more torpedo but thats the one that has always been more swollen and slow to heal. It feels impossible some days to be patient, IMPOSSIBLE. I get discouraged when I see other girls implants dropping so fast, then feel better when I see girls implants dropping slow even 3 months in, then looking perfect at 6 mos. Arghhh. That being said, grateful and trying to be zen about this.

Finally took my steri strips off and incisions look beautiful. Putting mederma on for now until my other stuff comes in the mail. Dont wear my boob strap all the time but sometimes when Im annoyed with this left boob, like right now:) There are still little hot spots of uncomfortability from internal stitches but nothing crazy and I can sleep through the night. Finally not as tired every day, and I get to start light cardio later this week, thank GOD!! Cant believe I havent gotten flabbier but I was working out like crazy before surgery and Im convinced that helped me recover quicker.

3 weeks!

Because I love seeing everyone elses pics so here's my 3 week update. Holy cow so far this revision has been worth every single penny. Ive been sleeping without a bra, is that naughty? Im hoping gravity helps them drop quicker without it and since doing it theyve softened tremendously. Still feel like my nipples are crazy low, and upper fullness crazy high, but I guess that all changes with time. Cleavage is amazing but at 35 years old (and living in NYC, land of no boobs and waif models) I feel gigantic haha. Slowly getting used to them but thank god its winter because Im not ready to bust them out to the world, no punn intended.

One Month Update

Hey lovlies, so Im at one month as of today! Difference is night and day from my first BA to this one, but it hasnt been without its "complications" either. I still feel like they are massive and I havent gotten used to seeing such large boobs on my small body. Originally I had wanted to go smaller than 300 cc so you can imagine how its been adjusting to 450. Im not sure if I ever will, but if they would just drop more I can manage.
Ive had a pain in my cleavage from internal stitches as the doc did a ton of work in my pockets, and Im still tender there. I dont know what I did the other day but all of a sudden I have this sort of popping and clicking sensation in that spot. I can push my implant over and feel it make the click. Doc said its prob the capsule and that as the implant continues to settle it should go away. No swelling or redness so it should be fine but it feels sooooo weird. Still sore around the outside of my breasts, again, prob where a lot of internal stitching is.
Finally got back to working out and taking it slow but feeling good. Implants are getting much softer and I can actually see a hint of bounce. Implants feel like theyre taking forever to drop, and I hate that my nipples are so low, but if that implant would drop then they should raise. Still have a shelf on my left side but slowly softening. I wish I could fast forward 3 months as I think these implants are gonna take their sweet time dropping. My friend says I'll miss them this high once they do, haha. Probably true, but I miss people thinking my boobs were real! (In clothing that is)

One more pic

Still fit in my bras....barely

5 Weeks!

Hi Ya'll! Im at 5 weeks and everything is going well enough. I do still have nagging pain in my cleavage on the right side and soreness in my folds (where they were elevated) That weird click and pop feeling is still in my cleavage as well, fingers crossed that goes away soon because its part of that cleavage soreness. If it wasnt for that going on, everything would be perfect.

Because of the tightness on my right side I had my doc prescribe me singulair *just in case* Ive been taking it every night though I'm not actually convinced CC is happening. Just a pre-emptive strike on my part since that side has always felt tighter. Singulair sucks though. They tell you to take it at night which not only causes me terrible nightmares but also wakes me up every freaking morning around 4-5am for at least an hour. I finally skipped a night of it so I could get a good night sleep, which I did!

Besides that, everyone Ive shown them to adores them and thinks theyre perfect. Ive def noticed them dropping more and looking less crazzzzzzy. Still feel like theyre big but fingers crossed that lots will change by month 3. I somehow can squeeze into my 34C bras which makes me happy but they are totally spilling over haha. I refuse to go bra shopping until month 3. Revision surgery is so much more complicated!!

7 weeks

Been a minute since I posted so here's the update. First let me say that even with slow healing I still think my breasts are 1000% better than they were and everyone who has seen them thinks theyre perfect. Of course Im much more nitpicky and harder on myself.
The good- Silicone was the best decision ever. Theyre softer and bouncier every day. My cleavage looks great in absolutely everything, and I love the side boob. I personally wanted a wider breast as I love that look. My incisions are healing great and most of my pain has subsided minus some early morning soreness sometimes. Probably because I dont sleep with a bra and lay right on them. I'm also super grateful to have a doctor that answers my emails and phone calls asap and does not totally brush off my concerns. Hes always extremely positive and supportive. The popping like sound feeling has *almost* completely dissipated but I believe it has been due to my utter diligence on the matter. Even though my doc prescribed Singulair for potential CC, it is not my desire to stay on a drug, and the side effects were complete shit. I will designate one paragraph below to what I have been doing for scar tissue without taking prescription pills.

The not so greats- I say this all with a grain of salt as I realize week to week that healing from a revision surgery takes soooo much longer. I still have the slight popping in my cleavage area (though I have worked most of it out, see below) My left side has been my slow healer since day one. Its the one that had all the swelling that I had drained, and now unfortunately I have a very hard area (possibly of scar tissue, or calcified seroma, or the older subglandular pocket still healing) under my left nipple, about the size of a walnut (though I seem to be shrinking it some) It doesnt really hurt or anything but I am convinced it is keeping my left implant from dropping at the same rate, and I have excess breast tissue on that side that hasnt really stretched over the implant. My doc says its likely the old pocket, and I would have to agree. A lot of docs do subglandular to submuscular in 2 surgeries to allow old pockets to heal, so its possible this tissue may take months to tighten up. So be it, Id rather not have 2 surgeries.

My research on natural and homeopathic ways to treat scar tissue and Capsular Contracture-
I am a beast when it comes to research. Though I appreciate the schooling Western Doctors go through, I also believe most of their education regarding treatment is relegated to the pharmaceutical industry and their billion dollar corporate owned industry. Im not a fan, my body is my temple and I believe there are other ways. So here is my protocol so far, and I will say after a week I have noticed the popping dissipated, the pain associated with it (which was almost unbearable at times, radiating and throbbing) has pretty much disappeared, and the calcified area seems slightly softer, and maybe even smaller in size. I believe whole heardtedly that my vigilance is responsible. I stopped taking the singulair over a week ago so its definitely not that.

Dont take my word for any of it. Google all of it. "*** for scar tissue" and you can read other studies, personal experiences etc.

DMSO followed with a warm castor oil pack- I do this every night, taking one night off every 5 or so. I do it at the end of my night and sleep with the castor oil on. Castor oil is proven to break down scar tissue and is even used in a lot of the commercial scar treatments like Mederma

Vitamin E- Taking about 1000iu taken internally. This is speculative info but worth a shot and couldnt hurt. Lots of people on these forums seem to swear by it though.

Serrapeptase- This is an enzyme that is proven to break down fibrin which is what makes up scar tissue. Im taking 120,000 SPU's 2x a day. Again, google "Serrapeptase for scar tissue" to do your own research

Feel free to ask me any questions about it, but google is all knowing:) Most importantly, Im trying not to stress it too much and keeping a positive frame of mind that these treatments and my body can work together to heal well and remove that dead or calcified tissue.

Posting a pic of me clothed. Realize that for some girls trying to choose a size it helps to see full body. I still feel like theyre too big for me but personal preference right? Hoping they still go down!

Ten Weeks

Quick little update. Implants are finally starting to settle some, and getting much more soft and bouncy. Still dealing with scar tissue that I can feel from my old pockets down in the lower part of my fold, but do actually think my scar tissue massage and supplements have been helping. See above^ I have felt a significant difference on my left side so hopefully that continues.
Unfortunately I am not happy with my size. I feel like they are much too big for my frame and my nipples still feel low to me. Under shirts I look like I have droopy nipples which really irks me considering how naturally perky my boobs are. In the end I hope my implants stretch out the fold some over time. Dr Krau did elevate my folds since i was bottomed out originally, just hoping they arent so elevated they left little room for the implant. Trying to be patient, but some days I feel like I have porn star boobs which I really cant handle looking at. Hate that I feel self conscious about them:( I will give it at least 6 months before I make a decision one way or the other.

Boobs are dropping on their own sweet time

I have passed the 3 month point and though still hesitant about whether Im fully happy, I have come to realize they change SO much month to month. So whatever, if it takes them 6 months to a year to settle, Im fine with it, so long as they do.
Still have this weird scar tissue thing at the bottom of my left breast, if I could cut the damn thing out myself I would. Doc has been advising me to massage that implant down, which I have been, as well as wearing that awful strap sometimes.
Lets get to the good. Holy cow silicone feels amazing, and Im not sure what all the fuss is about those hard gummy bear implants is, because these babies feel like real boobs. Giant, real boobs. Hopefully as they settle they get closer to looking like them too.

Kudos to my Doc on a few things not mentioned- He revised my original scars and they are perfectly even and healing spectacularly, even though I have been suuuuuper naughty and not putting anything on them. Also I should mention that I have not lost any sensation that I had left over from my previous BA. Score. I might even have more, which is miraculous considering my first doc butchered me.
Started doing chest exercises at the gym, pop ups, and pushups. Not gonna lie, Im weak as hell, and it is incredibly odd feeling. Taking it slowly though.
Happy healing to all!

14 Weeks, considering Implant Exchange

Well, I have finally accepted that I am not happy with the size of my implants. When I had considered revising my first BA, I wanted to be smaller than where I was, which was 300cc. Here I am at 450 cc, and though I dont blame my Doctor per se, I did trust him to do sizers during surgery and use his best judgement to pick the right size. That being said, I feel huge, and awkward, and I truly believe this implant size would only fit my chest wall if my folds were dropped, which would eventually just lead to bottoming out like it does with most big implants. Im convinced these implants sit high because there is just nowhere for them to go. I have incredible cleavage, bottom fullness, and wide boobs (which I love) but its too much implant and cant fully settle.
So I spoke to Dr Krau, who is really just the nicest doctor no matter how I look at it, and he wants me to be happy, so he is doing an implant exchange for me. Im still trying to decide which size will work best for me, keeping some cleavage maybe, but getting rid of all of this upper pole fullness that I hate. I get that a lot of women want this with a BA, but all I really want to do is fool everyone by making them thing theyre really mine:) That is seriously all I want, "real" fake boobs.
I know most girls want bigger and bigger, and bigger. But at my age, 35, and in my geographical location (NYC) and my sporty lifestyle (lots of surfing and working out) giant boobs just make zero sense for me, and I hate feeling self conscious about them. Not looking forward to another surgery, but am really looking forward to smaller boobs!

Side Profile

Someone had asked me for a side picture, which I imagine might help someone with sizing. I am 5'6" 118, pretty small boned in size. Chest wall is also somewhat narrow, which I think has made for undesirable position with these implants. My nipples naturally sit a little lower on my breast, so there is just nowhere for all this implant to go. For the exchange I would like to go to a Moderate or Moderate Plus profile in the 300-350 range max. To be determined with my doctor, but really want natural looking breasts, and these torpedos are making me nuts.

Revision Surgery Scheduled for June 25th

Hi lovelies- So I did schedule an implant exchange surgery for June. I will be reducing my implant size closer to where I started, in the 300 cc range, and in a moderate or moderate plus profile. Whatever will give me the least amount of upper pole fullness. Regardless of size, I would have needed a fix either way. My left side has had an increasingly odd shape and laying down on my back the other night I took a pic of the boobs. Much to my surprise my left was completely flat and in my armpit. Basically my pocket broke open on that side so the implant is all over the place which definitely explains them looking so different.
Besides that theyre still high, and Im convinced its because they just dont fit. My folds would have to be lowered so much to accommodate these implants. Dr Krau said he will prob lower my fold slightly for the new implants, but I cant imagine much. Either way, Im over my porn star boobs. At least I feel like they are. 450cc is a giant boob on my small frame and I am constantly covering them. The fact that none of my favorite clothes or swimsuits fit anymore doesnt please me either. Shopping has been a joke as I am definitely not even close to fitting in a size small dress anymore. Meh. Not looking forward to more money and healing but its gotta happen.

I did a little photo editing of what Id like my boobs to turn out like, which is wayyyyyy smaller.

Revision done!

Hi all! So just a quick update and then I guess I'll have to make a separate post for the new girls. Had my revision surgery/implant exchange June 25th. Decided to go with 300cc moderate plus mentor silicone. Dr krau did a lot of internal stitching to close up my pockets, both in my armpits and also above the implants. I literally woke up from surgery and first thing I did was touch my chest to make sure I couldn't feel my implants all the way up on my chest, and sighed with relief when I felt how much smaller and flatter up top they were. Yes, happy to be flatter with fake boobs.

They are so adorable and small and youthful and everything I originally wanted. No more giant mom/porno boobs, just cute little swimsuit model boobs. Pain has been tolerable though definitely sore from the stitching. Swelling much less this time around and definitely not riding high either. Yay!!

Quite the Rollercoaster

I've sort of put off an update as I collect my thoughts and feelings. In fact I dont even know where to start with this update. I look at pictures from other patients of my Doctor and just dont understand why I ended up so different looking. My two biggest concerns BY FAR with this revision of his first surgery was size of implant (huge, and never what I wanted in the first place) and lowering my folds so my implants werent in my armpits and with down turned nipples, which is not my natural anatomy.

As the weeks have gone on with this revision, with swelling going down, here is what I have concluded. My folds were not lowered. I was told they were. If they were it was my millimeters and did little to change my nipple position. My measurement from aerola to fold pre revision was 6 cc, and Im now at 5cc, even less, though maybe with time I'll be lucky enough to stretch to 6. Which in short means I still have high implants which look fake (hate) and nipples that look odd in clothes (also hate). Also feel mislead, or not listened to, or something I cant put my finger on but leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. All I ever wanted was to be the same size or smaller, under the muscle silicone. What I ended up with was 2 surgeries, a year of recovering and missing life and activities (yoga, surfing, workouts, etc) high implants and a TON of scar tissue so far. Im sounding bitter and some days I really am. I had one good cry day and decided after that I cant keep dedicating so much energy to being sad about this. I cant keep hating my body. I have to find some level of acceptance with this which is hard when this was all Voluntary on my part, really hard.

My doctor tells me to keep wearing my strap which at this point there is no way on gods earth I am stretching my fold another few centimeters to get where I think I look "normal." Because I had incisions done twice in one year they are SO HARD. Like rocks on my incision line and I have been doing everything I can to get them to soften up. Basically 30 minutes of my day, every day, of intense scar tissue rolling and massage. Plus wearing a horribly uncomfortable strap to bed every night. I also noticed that there is an "extra" incision. Like the Doctor went to open my areola in one area, noticed his mistake and made another correct incision. Now the scar tissue in that area is out of control hard.

So thousands of dollars, months of my life, and I can say I have soft breasts with cleavage, with an odd shape, crazy scar tissue (so far, though will do everything to work on it including the Graston Technique, google it) and a double incision on one breast. Thank God for smaller implants but at this point I can not say with certainty that I made the right choice in Doctor. And I really, really like him and his staff, but in the end I am the one who is living with these breasts. Only time will tell.

3 Month Update

Checking in for my 3 month update. Things are better since my last thats for sure. I was definitely feeling super emotional about my second surgery. Basically I dont feel like they are perfect but I am happier with them. Trust me, I am not a perfectionist, clearly since I lived with a terrible BA for 12 years, but my folds werent really lowered like I had asked and I still have a weird indentation thats very visible. The indentation is where my fold naturally sits. One can hope over time my breasts will stretch back to their natural position. Its funny because with my first BA with Dr Krau I obsessively took pics and compared them but this time Ive been so over it I havent kept track at all. So Im surprised and pleased to see that my nipples have indeed raised a little, thank god! Also through pretty vigilant massage and use of castor oil (please google castor oil for scars if youre trying to fade or soften yours) my incisions have almost completely normalized. From 2 surgeries in 6 months they were crazy hard, felt like there was a caterpillar under my skin. Thankfully I can see that there is hope that will completely dissipate. Hopefully my 6 month update I can sing the praises of a *near* perfect revision, which will be good enough for me. Besides that, he is a master of cleavage, that still looks great and my pockets have held up. I am happier with size though I also could have gone smaller and been happy. I still feel a little bustier than I want to be at my age, but at least I fit into all my old 34C bras. For reference I am 5'6" 118, and have 300cc M+. I know everyone wants to go big big big, but at 36 years old I can say proportional is beautiful, and I still get plenty (maybe too much at times) attention with 34C boobs. Plenty. Just something for your consideration if youre still trying to decide on size:)

Way too many problems to claim happiness with this surgery

I'm at the 5 month point of my second surgery with Dr Krau and almost at the 1 year point of my journey, and two surgeries with him. I like him, as a person, I do. However my results are all we are here to talk about, and I am open to changing this review if by some miracle there is a difference in a year. Which seems doubtful with what Im dealing with.

Lets just start with the obvious. My nipple position is still too low. It has moved some, I went from 5 cm to 6cm fold to nipple. That 1 cm made a difference but it could still afford another 1-2 cm for it to look balanced. They do look fine in clothing, though without a bra I still have that low droopy nipple look that Im not a fan of.
The not so obvious issues- Pain, still. Pain in my cleavage area where there was obviously cutting done. Also I am significantly weaker than I was before surgery, which has made a huge difference in performance in surfing, my passion. Its devastating to suffer weakness in that way. Also has made yoga and working out a more challenging endeavor, in the wrong way. Also a slight dent in my cleavage on my right side and that implant is still visibly in a different position. One day I flexed and saw just how bad that side was. Pictures can do better explaining. Its BAD. This was not something I had with my first 2 surgeries and thus happened on my 3rd. When I do a pushup, thats what my boob does. If I playfully push my boobs together, I look like a freak. If Im laying on my side in bed next to my lover and accidentally flex, it looks horrifying. This is what I live with now. I try not to obsess much over it but the idea of another surgery, I cant even fathom it. So I just live with a disfigurement, and oddly miss my old ripply saline implants that were ugly but at the very least not painful, and in a good bra could pass for real.

In hindsight I picked the wrong doctor for myself, and see that in speaking to some other RS members who have had the same problems with his work. Hopefully upon review he can find something in his technique that needs to be addressed or updated as its not a coincidence that it keeps happening. I hate leaving a bad review, but I hate being disfigured even more.

Things are looking better

Hi all!Just an update as things move along. I am feeling happier about my BA and the asymmetry isnt bothering me as much. You can still see my right implant is higher but for the most part its not terribly noticeable to anyone but me. I still have the random shooting pain in the cleavage area but the attacks are less frequent. Hopefully that means that muscle is finally healing. Also have that weirdness when I push them together but I will say I do like them more esthetically now and they look good in clothes finally, more natural, and they are as soft as can be. Ironically I wish I went smaller, but live and learn. Dont mind my skinniness, I had food poisoning when I took these pics, aka the best and worst diet ever:)

One year Update

This will probably be my last one as I guess after a year there isnt much left to report. After my nightmare with my 450HP on my body (freak show status) I am happily living with my 300M+. Still plenty of attention when I want it, and many people are surprised when I tell them theyre fake. Thats all I ever wanted, to trick everyone:) I still think they are a wee bit high placed and would have liked them to drop a bit more, but it doesnt make me totally unhappy. I would have also have been satisfied going a little smaller but definitely would have been bummed at 350 or higher. Glad I went for the modest route, they look great on my frame. Lets be honest, this was a pic taken for my man, but its does the girls good justice. Size isnt everything...not when it comes to implants anyway:)
Miami Plastic Surgeon

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