Mom of 2...droopy and Saggy! - Melbourne, FL

I'm 39, 5'3 and a little overweight. I am getting a tummy tuck with muscle repair, lipo on flanks, breast lift and a slight reduction to even the girls out. I work out regularly with cardio, strength training and recently added pole dance to my repertoire! I have 2 girls, ages 12 and 8. I gained 65 pounds with both pregnancies. It took me 3 years to lose it the first time and I've been struggling to get the last 20-40 pounds off since my youngest was born. My weight has yo-yo'd over the past 8 years and now it seems I'm stuck at this weight. No amount of protein shakes, egg whites, salads, pilates or cardio is going to get this droopy roly-poly stomach off of me. Don't get me started on how droopy and saggy my ta-ta's are...haha.

I had my initial consultation a year and a half ago. Initially, I went in for implants and a lift. I thought if I kept up my routine at the gym my stomach would shrink off. I was working out 2 hours per day, 5-6 days per week with a very clean diet. I ended up taking a position as a flight attendant and I was unable to take off of work for surgery.

I ended up leaving that position and my fabulous Fiance said now is my time. I don't have to work, I have help with the kids and I have time to take care of myself for once. Finally. I am excited and scared at the same time. My emotions are super high since I only have 2 sleeps until surgery. I keep imagining being able to shop for bikinis without worrying if it will cover my porky belly. I still wear bikinis on vacation but I'm always very self conscious. I feel like one pieces accentuate the pork chop belly so I can't wear those at all. I keep looking at bandage dresses and imagine how much more fun getting dressed will be on vacations from now on.

I'm excited for myself and my results, scared of actual surgery, I have mommy-guilt, I'm not too worried about the recovery. I'm getting an Exparel shot and from all of the reviews I have read it is fabulous. So, I have a lot of emotions and I'm hoping to find support on here.

Let me start by saying Dr. Diaz and his nurse Freddy are the best. They are both so caring and gentle and kind. The best bedside manner. I don't give compliments freely, but these guys are awesome.

With that said, this surgery is the worst decision I've made. Not because of the Dr. he did a great job and everything is fine. But personally I wish I hadn't done it. I wasn't prepared for the pain. I was prepared for some pain but it was the most excruciating thing I've been through. To me it doesn't matter how good I look in a bathing suit. I just want to be mobile and be able to live my life.

Thursday I couldn't walk without crying. The antibiotics made my chest burn terribly. Yesterday was much better I could get around without crying. Today I thought I was doing well but the back pain from being hunched over is unbearable. All I did was wash my hands, brush my teeth and I couldn't finish washing my face because I hurt so badly.

Why the hell would I pay so much money to destroy my body and put myself in so much pain? I ask myself over and over again. I just want relief and I just want to be normal again. Who cares what you look like in your bathing suit. Just be happy and enjoy your life. I wish I was doing that right now but instead I'm stuck on this chair, with drains, unable to do anything.

I'm super frustrated, angry, lonely and just miserable.

I had a lot going on today. I was very itchy under my binder and thankfully I have a tank top between my skin and binder. Took antihistamine and it worked but I've been asleep most of the day. I was super bummed out due to lower back pain. I can't brush my teeth and wash my face in the same standing, I have to do it in 2 separate sessions.

Right now I have zero pain, just some itch. My Fiance has been making me delicious snacks and taking very good care of me. I'm just tired of feeling tired and helpless. I'm sleeping in a lift chair which is awesome, I have a walker and a lifted toilet. All of these things have made my life so much better. My Fiance says it's too soon for me to say I wish I hadn't done the surgery. He says I look really good, but I'd rather have my mobility and health. I'd rather be hanging out, enjoying a glass of wine and sleeping in my own bed tonight. I miss being a normal person.