Scared, Anxious, Nervous

Hi, I'm currently going through a bunch of emotions after having my first rhinoplasty March 2016. I don't want to speak too much on it emotionally because it's super negative and made me really depressed for months. I'm currently approaching my 5 month post op mark. I've literally spoke with a dozen doctors, had consults on skype, spoke to a few in person and I think I found a winner. Dr Hamilton definitely made me the most comfortable and answered all of my questions thoroughly. I have to wait until I'm at least 9 months post op because I still have a lot of swelling he said. Which is sad because my nose is really small at the moment. He let me know sadly it's going to only get smaller. The doctor gave me an unnecessary Osteotomy (which I don't believe was done correctly because I have weird indent marks down the sides of my nose), he over resected my bridge/dorsum, he punctured a hole in my septum, I have internal nasal valve collapse, an over projected tip and I believe he reduced my nostrils. Sigh. When I met Dr Hamilton in person he told me it's not as bad as I think and he definitely can fix everything. I'm glad to hear that but dealing with a perforated septum (hole in your septum) daily is difficult. Breathing is hard, my nose often feels dry, it produces crust with light bleeding sometimes. The only thing keeping me positive some days is knowing it can and will be fixed. I've been reading a lot on perforated septums and a lot on Dr Hamilton and I strongly believe I'm making the right choice. I know I still have four months to go but after seeing so many success stories on him, I decided to share my journey too. The closer I get to my surgery date I'll show you guys my original nose, then this too small over projected nose. My goal is to fix my perforated septum, fix these weird indented lines that I think comes from the over resected bridge/dorsum and I would like my tip to be closer to my face, more round and natural.

So I've decided to share some photos with you guys so you can get an idea of what I'm dealing with as far as the over projected tip and pinched bridge. My nostrils are also asymmetrical, it could be due to the internal collapse also, but I'm not sure. The more I look at my old photos the more I realize I shouldn't have touched my nose at all. I initially only wanted tip work done. Here is my before, my current state at almost 6 months post op and a picture of me right after surgery.

I've been thinking lately about this whole revision thing. I'm honestly super scared, nervous and anxious. I'm praying it goes well and this is the last time I ever have to go through this. I'm tired of feeling congested and not being able to breath normally. I'm almost 6 months post op (in a few days) and when I smile you can see my nose is collapsing on the left side and my tip gets sharper than what it already is. Not to mention at random times while breathing my nose starts to make a wheezing sound from the hole. Sigh. I'm honestly really uncomfortable and scared with the idea of another revision. Maybe it's all of the horror stories I keep reading on here. I'm going to try to not think about it for now since I have another few months to go. I'm being asked a lot about why my surgery is so much. So here's a break down of the costs. My perforation is costing me about $16,000+ and the cosmetic portion only around $8,000. I'm honestly not happy about the price. Sigh... this is a nightmare.