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Traveling and Ruminations

Hi guys, I was thinking about how we can get misled by these surgeons. I literally didn't know it could ever happen and it did. I was thinking, i have a high IQ, why didn't I see the signs? I think the laws though, put in place to protect patients are very hard to enforce. These doctors know that. I feel that so much can happen and if you are confident and happy like AT ALL, don't do it. I've lost three years of my life. I'm going to travel overseas soon to meet with a doctor that fixed a few of my friends. He has a good reputation, but to be honest, I'm terrified. Sometimes I just don't know if I can wake up from the nightmare. These people find me sometimes on social media and they are in the public eye and also got botched and it's literally the worst pain because you can't conduct yourself like you used to. People used to say I was everything. I had everything. And, I was careful in choosing doctors and they still didn't do what I wanted. Obviously, if you are a person considering surgery, try to love yourself first. Remember how much can go wrong and that this site is filled with very good results as well as suffering people. I was considering what a botch is. It's going against the human rights of the patient---to violate a patient that way is akin to violence. I know there are good doctors, but the fact is, I didn't choose them. I got sucker punched and my life was totally devastated. I actually wanted to get back to my old nose, the one that was broken many years ago. It was larger and I liked that. i told both surgeons that was what I wanted, and both took shortcuts, cutting off tissue to try to put a bandaid on what I asked for. Both admitted to doing the opposite in their notes. One admitted intent to do the opposite. Yet, here I am, the one suffering. I'm upset today. I have loose skin all over my bridge because Hamiton shaved it repeatedly. Another girl he did this too found me on social media. She cries every day because he took away her ability to do selfies. So did Frankel. Both people wrote down I wanted augmentation. How could this happen? Sorry for ranting, but I need to sometimes. Hope you guys are well and enjoying your lives or finding someone who won't lie to you. Sending you love from the couches of America.

hi guys

I haven't written in awhile. But, i was thinking about this class that I'm in and how it educates us to have empathy for differences, disabilities and for people with experiences that are "other." It is a program to educate people of our community who might have a hard time learning due to schedules and children and disabilities. While it is focused on reminding us to be ever mindful of the difficulties in learning, it also enhances our abilities to think for ourselves and remain open to further learning. And, lucky for me, I will be teaching writing the short story and English. My instructors are so charming and compelling---one teaches the law and the constitution and our bill of rights at college but also is the head of the administrative side of the program. Actually, I think that's what she does, but I think she also sits on many panels for the college system. She is a powerhouse and dresses cute and used to be an actress. She has a BEAUTIFUL natural nose. My other instructor is also a doctor and very funny and self-deprecating. They actually care about people and are using their own minds to think for themselves. We have to give little demonstrations on instruction and how we might do that in five minutes. To that end, one of my classmates and he stood up and gave his presentation on Cyber Security issues in the workplace. One woman raised her hand and said his accent prevented her from "hearing" correctly. While that may have been true, it wasn't really the place to say it in a room dedicated to support of diversity. My instructor quickly stated that the gentleman had a resonant bottom heavy voice that perhaps can't cut through the air-conditioning unit, and reminded everyone that diversity is to form concepts of inclusion rather than exclusion. This reminded me of what some of us on here are going through. Like, thanks Girltown, but what does this have to do with having a bad surgical outcome, when everyone else thinks it's great. Or what do I do while waiting the 12 months for a safe revision. While sometimes I can't fully fathom why someone wouldn't want a shape that I find lovely, I try to understand them. Or while it might be confusing that people's depression leads them to the refrigerator, while I completely stopped eating. I try to be careful in thinking how my interpretation might be from a personal confirmation bias that I haven't investigated. How does that translate. Well, I am suffering. More so some days than other days. But, I am positive about my future. I do have PTSD and I need sunshine and fresh water. I try to go to the gym and press tons of weight with my legs (cause it gets me in shape the fastest) and I need to think positively and surround myself with other humans who believe in my recovery. I need to remember the soul of the self that has always been there and still is there no matter what. I think of you guys often, those who got well and those who are waiting to get well. i think of those recently out of surgery and I send you all my love and hope for a healthy life. To me, the best things to do while waiting are pick up a camera and point it out on the world. Learn a hobby. Go see an art show. Make a movie. Try something different. A lot of us avoid old friends but have made new ones on here. Tell someone something you have always wanted to, but didn't know how. Write it all down. Each moment is a living breathing thing and we can't think this is forever. We deserve to be happy. This is one moment and for some of us it lasts a long time. But, we can get well. I still believe it.

Update with Photos

For those who think I looked like a model after surgery. Let me remind you, I'm not a model, never was one, but I was a happy, confident person who liked my face before this madness. And, that Hamilton snowed me. He told me he'd remove the rims in my nostrils, which he didn't. He also told me he could turn my angle back up, which looks worse because of the lower lateral cartilage repositioning, that my Frankel report says are rims but are actually the LLC sewn into my nostrils. So, my face is no longer in a soft position, but a hard, unflattering one due to the lower lateral cartilage pulling down my cheeks. So... all in all, my nose looks like this after hamilton. I have to face my co-workers, like this---that's why i have seen my new RealSelf friends, but not my other friends, in two and a half years. I go through the world, like this. Can I get a good shot of myself? Yes. But, that's from years of photography experience and doesn't show the reality--that my nose---is pointing down. My alar creases, because Hamilton he didn't build anything there and because Frankel moved what was in there to my rims, are empty. So, on videos--acting---it looks terrible. That's the reality. Here it is in a picture. For those who saw me before, yes, I was much more attractive than this. My nose was not ever pointing down. I'm scottish, we have long upward projected noses. I hope you can see it in this picture. Hamilton did not really do much for me except make it worse because I didn't get what i asked for. Could he have done it? I don't think so. So, to those who judge me and tell me what they think happened to me, if it hasn't happened to you, try to withhold your judgment. It isn't pretty. Impirically speaking. It's a disaster.

Provider Review

Board Certified Facial Plastic Surgeon
8631 W. Third Street, Los Angeles, California
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After care follow-up
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Dr. Jason Hamilton started off great. He told me a lot of things about men and women in general. He is a smooth talking salesman. He told me I needed rib and ear, which I consented for, but then did not use either. So, my nose is a prettier shape but has no length or columella as he promised. To add injury to the fire, he told one of the people on here he didn't know how to do the columella. I feel really sad that I endorsed him at first, but my nose bridge did look larger--that was only swelling. He did not add to my bridge or my length as we discussed. I still have hope, but this doctor might only give you a pretty nose not a longer one. I have a pretty--but short nose. The way he only called me after using my photos on a public site without my permission, in case I was going to sue, is very sad. I don't think the same things I originally thought.