I have been small breasted my whole life, barely...
I have been small breasted my whole life, barely fitting in a 34B (Body by Victoria brand) but I've made it work. Swimsuits always bothered me the most so I've always gone with extra padding or fluff. In my 20s, I always judged women who got breast implants, thinking it was shallow, poor self-esteem. After three pregnancies (and breastfeeding all three, but it is pregnancy that changes breasts, not breastfeeding), my breasts are officially quite deflated with nipples that actually look like they're bent. My third baby weaned just 4 months ago and my 34B bras are too big. I think I'm probably a 32A now, according to band/bust measurements I took. I can't stand the way I look now. For the first time in my life, I started considering breast implants and realizing...hey, I get it now.
I have a consult scheduled mid-March, which can't come fast enough. I stumbled across this site while researching the procedure. Because I'm so small, I am really worried I won't have enough skin to expand, won't be able to get a size "big enough" to be worth it. I also don't want breasts that look obviously fake - that rounded, shiny, porn-star look! Then I think, what if I'm one of the unlucky ones who is sick all the time afterward and hair falling out??
Oh, so many thoughts. I think I'll try to see if I can get my consult moved up...
Consultation moved up by a month!
So my original consult date is scheduled for 3/17/16, but I got a call from the clinic this evening stating there had been a cancellation and they offered me an appointment tomorrow (2/18) instead! This is a full month earlier! I'm going to have to figure out a way to step away from work for a couple of hours in order to attend, but I accepted the appointment for now. I'm anxious, as I'm sure everyone is, to get in there and get a feel for this whole boobie thing (no pun intended).
I'll update after the consultation, assuming I'm able to make it, and perhaps post some pictures of my current bosom. The very thought of doing so makes me anxious - obviously we're all less than thrilled about our breasts so sharing what they look like, to the internet world, is kinda terrifying!
The Consultation and Before pics
It's really hard for me to post pictures, as with many of you, but I only post these so that other women researching BA can evaluate and compare.
So, I began with Dr. Chhatre on recommendation of a friend, who had a breast augmentation by him in the last 5 years. She has been extremely happy and has nothing but positive things to say about the physician and his staff. The staff was definitely friendly, and his nurse, was very kind.
He first went over my medical history. I am pretty healthy, only take one regular prescription and have no illnesses. I have had three pregnancies, all of which I breastfed. Breastfeeding is blamed for deflated, sagging breasts but this is a common misconception. It is actually pregnancy alone that changes the breast tissue. So for those ladies that choose not to breastfeed simply based on wanting to maintain their breasts, they are incorrect. Anyway, three pregnancies took my barely 34Bs to nothing - 34A/AA now, if even that?! I have the chest of a boy. I am just nipples, the kind that could poke your eye out. So Dr. Chhatre asked me what size I want to be and I could not really answer - I just want to look proportioned! He seemed to agree with this. He discussed that he only does the inframammary incision and he would place the implants under the muscle. Because I am thin and have little body fat (approximately 22%), especially on my chest, he recommended silicone. Initially I was certain I would never get silicone; in my younger years I always equated silicone with porn stars and ditzy celebrities - not to mention the side effects I always heard them, such as breaking and leaking and such. After watching several videos on the integrity of the new silicone implants, and the benefits of having those when you have a little breast tissue versus saline, I think that is what I'll get. The PS stated that they offer a 10-year warranty (a warranty on boobs, ha!) as long as you have an MRI before that 10 year anniversary.
The nurse and I looked at some before/after pictures that are pretty close to my build, and she said that right now that 350-375cc would probably be ideal for me. I don't want to look enormous and ridiculous, but I also don't want to go through all this pain and $$$ and come out with not much to show for it. I've decided I definitely want to be a full C cup at least. I prefer not to tell anyone what I'm doing, but I hate that it will be so obvious afterward no matter what, because I have nothing to begin with.
I felt pretty comfortable with this practice and it has very good reviews, especially since my friend referred me, but I wonder if I'm supposed to be shopping around. I really don't feel the need to have multiple consults. Therefore, I've decided to schedule surgery for early April 2016 with Dr. Chhatre and will get that on the books in the upcoming week. In the meantime, I am poring over pictures of breasts I like and those that I don't like!
Musings and Wish Boobs
Currently my procedure is exactly 6 weeks from today. Included in this post are some pictures of "wish boobs," as I've noticed everyone calls them. I've been poring through hundreds of pictures and reviews and it is really challenging to find women with a similar build/size as myself. The more pictures I look at, the more I think my actual breast size is a 32AAA. Triple AAA?! That's depressing. Jeez, why even bother. Bra makers should just stop after 32-34A and put up a sign that reads, "for smaller sizes, please go to the children's tank tops."
My goal continues to be proportion - but I think I could pull off a full C, small D. I won't know until my pre-op appointment in a few weeks, though, where I will try on sizers.
Some features that I do NOT want to end up with:
1) a large gap between breasts. The "valley?"
2) breasts that are rounded nearly 360 degrees. I do NOT want to look like cantaloupe halves on my chest, and nothing screams "Faaaaake!" more than that look (ahem...Victoria Beckham).
3) Nipples that are too high up and look like eyeballs staring at the ceiling
4) Tori Spelling's first breast augmentation. Ah, poor Tori....
5 Weeks Until Procedure
5 weeks from today I am scheduled.... it feels so far away. My preop appointment, where I will get to try on sizers, is in 2 weeks.
I'm hoping I haven't made a mistake by hoping I'll bounce back quickly. I have young children and work full time, and as many of you can relate - babies don't understand why you can't hold them. Reading the reviews shows me just how broad recovery can be. Some women are feeling great and up and moving by day 2-3, and others are having a lot of pain a week out. Oh, please dear God don't let me still be in pain for a week (yeah, I'm sure God is real pleased with that request, haha).
I absolutely cannot wait to buy REAL bras. A swimsuit! Tanktops! Look proportioned!
Preop Appointment and 3 Weeks to Go!
Anyone reading these?? I feel like I'm talking to myself! But hopefully this review will help others along the way, as others have for me.
I had my preop appointment this week, at which I got to try on some sizers and "before" pictures were taken. I thought I would be extremely uncomfortable with that, but surprisingly, it didn't bother me at all. Either I'm losing my modesty in my older age (and I have always been VERY shy), or I am just that comfortable with this particular clinic. The PS nurse is very friendly and has great bedside manner.
I thought I'd be going into this trying 350cc but we tried on 400cc and that actually looked more reasonable. Since some volume is lost once it's under the muscle, they are going to try and place 425cc (so I will look like 400). I was really surprised by this, but I trust them. Honestly, after having so little for so long, ANYTHING is going to be a bit of shock to me for a while! And let's be frank - if I'm dropping over $5k and going through the pain of this, I may as well get what I can comfortably have. Proportion is key.
I'll be getting my labs drawn in about 2 weeks and then I'll have my prescriptions filled as well. No point in filling them early and having them sit on the shelf right now. Oh, and I am officially PAID IN FULL!
Three Days Until Procedure!
The weeks have actually flown by so quickly. I remember writing that it was 6 weeks away like it was just last week. I'm sure it helps that my life stays extremely busy between working full time and three young kiddos at home. I seriously don't get to sit down until 10:00 at night on most days. My life is a whirlwind. One thing about this surgery is that I'll be forced to slow down and rest...at least, I better.
I'm all set. Filled my prescriptions, had my preop labs drawn last week. The PS's nurse told me it wasn't really necessary to buy any bras just yet, so I have refrained - especially since I have NO idea what size to buy anyway! I've also had a helluva time finding bras with front closures, so I gave up. Once I'm mobile and functioning, not so swollen and scary-boobed, then I'll go have fun with some bra shopping.
I'm pretty laid back about this, if you can't tell...
My biggest anxiety is about the anesthesia. It is IV sedation (no intubation, thank god!) but working in healthcare...well, you get to know some of the behind-the-scenes stuff that most people aren't privy to, and so I have just a little anxiety about undergoing anesthesia.
Now just to finish my work week of two more days. My procedure is not scheduled until 12:45p on 4/8, so I'll be one hungry lady!
It's Boob Eve!
Surgery is scheduled approximately 10 hours away. I'm so excited! This is the last night I sleep without breasts in my way. Weird!
I'll update afterward, depending on my level of functioning.
This Body Oficially Has Breasts again!
8 Apr 2016
Day of treatment
The procedure went well! I didn't think that I was nervous, but when the PS went to mark my chest, he noted a mild rash-like area on my abdomen. It was also on my back. I think I had some mild hives in anticipation of the procedure - my body manifesting the nervousness.
We went over the pictures I provided and discussed the shapes and sizes I like, and those that I don't. Again we discussed my being a full C/small D - whatever my body can comfortably accomodate (without looking ridiculous). Then, into the OR I went for a nap!
Woke up in minimal pain, just thirsty. I have bilateral 450cc's! This really surprised me, but I'm super excited.
Now I have been resting comfortably in bed (reclined with the help of pillows) ever since, dozing in and out. My chest, particularly the right, has started muscle spasms and my whole upper body randomly jerks. That's definitely not pleasant! I am alternating ice packs, and that feels good.
As long as the Percocet is on board, my pain is about a 5/10. Slow, careful movements of my arms when reaching for water, etc. So far, so good!
Post-Op Day 1
I'm feeling pretty good today. Chest and skin feel very tight, very bruised, as if I've been kicked in the ribs. Even my sternum is sore. The skin on my breasts is so itchy from the stretching. I'm not sure I'd call what I'm feeling overall as "pain," it's more that it is discomfort. I'd rate my pain as a 4/10 when I'm comfortable.
Speaking of itching...the Percocet is making me itchy all over!
My husband thinks the incisions look large. I'm not too concerned.
The front closure bra I was sent home in is not very comfortable. They only had the bottom two hooks closed, and it still feels too snug. Does anyone know if I HAVE to wear it? I've unclasped it several times just for comfort.
Now that these are here...I FINALLY am getting excited about bra/clothes shopping. I have no idea what cup size I'm going to be!
Post-Op Day #3 and First Post-Op Appointment
I haven't really needed any pain medication now since the day after surgery. I still have areas of soreness, skin of my breasts are definitely tight, and I find myself aching when taking a deep breath, but this recovery has seriously been a piece of cake (knock on wood!).
I had my first post-op appointment today. The steri-strips were removed but replaced with a few "fresh" ones. I have some bruising at the incision on the left breast. I told them that the surgical bra feels too tight and has been uncomfortable, so I got the green light to wear any other bralette-type bra for the next couple of weeks. I ended up finding a couple of sports bras at Sears that were on sale so I picked up those. I also got the green light to shower and sleep in other positions than propped up (but no sleeping on stomach, which is fine since I'm not a belly sleeper anyway). The nurse told me again that they put in 450cc and added, "you needed it!" I didn't know whether to laugh or be slightly offended (ok, I laughed. I really started with NOTHING).
My next appointment will be in two weeks.
There is some occasional burning sensations below my right breast, but I know that's pretty common with incisions as the nerves heal. I otherwise just feel like I've been doing arm exercises like lateral pulls or that contraption that works your pectoral muscles.
Word of caution ladies - constipation caused by narcotic pain medication is no joke. I meant to start taking stool softener (Colace) the night of my surgery and I forgot...and now I'm paying for it. So have yours ready and start taking it day of your procedure and make sure you drink lots and lots of fluids!
Also, in case any of you have been wondering the logistics of that time of the month falling at the time of your surgery....well, been there done that, and was able to still manage. Ha!
I cannot wait until these babies don't look square and scary. The after-bloat is no joke, too. I have gained 8 pounds since the morning of the procedure, and I know these implants don't weigh 4 pounds apiece! (at most, they are close to maybe 1 pound apiece)
Post-Op Day #4 and Weird Changes?
I didn't think I would be updating again so soon, but this evening, some strange markings appeared on my abdomen (see picture). They're raised, slightly reddened, but nontender. I know I have some serious drainage going on in my abdomen (the previously mentioned bloat/weight gain) because there are areas on me with a jiggle that didn't jiggle before! Anyway, I assume the belly lines have something to do with the drainage going on in the area, but it sure is freaky.
Going back to work in 2 days! Feeling good!
More pictures for your browsing pleasure!
18 days Post-Op
Almost 3 weeks now and I've been doing really well! I went back to work at 6 days post-op, but I really feel like I could have returned on day 3. For the first week or so, my chest muscles just felt sore like as if I had been doing upper body exercises. Then about days 8-10, I developed Mondor's Cords under both breasts and the area UNDER my breasts, on the lower ribcage area, was extremely tender and sore to the touch. For those that don't know, Mondor's Cords are a normal occurrence after breast surgery. These are inflamed veins and you can see them raised above the skin under your breast. A couple of mine even are raised as far down as my abdomen! They were extremely tender to touch. I've been placing the heating pad on that area at night for a the past 5 days or so, and as of today, I have considerably less pain/tenderness in the ribcage area.
My incisions look great! The area on/above/below them is completely numb and hard to the touch, but I know this is normal. I've been applying Bio-oil on my breasts since post-op day 4 - I highly recommend doing this because the itchy skin from the stretching is really annoying!
At my 2 week post-op appointment, the remaining steri-strips were removed and I was instructed on massage. Also, the PS told me to take off the bra whenever I'm home, not to sleep in a bra, and allow gravity to do its thing. I'm doing one better and not even wearing a bra to work (I wear scrubs so you can't even tell).
So....here are recent pictures. I'm a little worried my PS may have used implants too big for my frame! The upper pole of these breasts is just massive! I know, I know...it's not even been quite 3 weeks. Someone please reassure me that they will indeed drop and I won't be so round?!?! Having a round upper pole is exactly the look I wanted to avoid. I have been doing massages as recommended by my PS. It seems there is quite the mixed opinion on the usefulness of massage out there, with some PS recommending it and others that say it doesn't make a difference. I'm doing them as directed by my PS, as it can't be any harm in doing so.
So at this juncture, I'm just praying...please drop please drop please drop and soften this upper pole!!!
So Far, So Good...and First Bra Fitting
So it's nearly been 5 weeks since surgery and I'm feeling great. I am still amazed at how little pain I had overall. The Mondor's Cords aren't as evident as they were, and I only feel some pain if that skin in that area is stretched downward (like in a massage).
I thought I would have trouble adjusting to having breasts, but it actually feels pretty normal! Almost as if they've always been there. The most significant change is that my breasts still feel like they're under my arms to some degree - shaving there is now a challenge! In bras, I think my breasts look pretty amazing, but without a bra, they do still look high and a little oblong shaped, and unnatural. It hasn't been long, so I only hope this all improves with time.
There are two sutures outside of the incision under my right breast. Not bothersome whatsoever, but not dissolving. I assume the PS will have to cut and remove these at my 6-week post-op visit in 10 days.
I recently bought a demi bra at Target - my first real bra - and got a 34D. It seemed to fit well at first, but of course once I removed the tags and wore it again, I realized the front between my breasts isn't flush with my chest, and the tops of the breasts are spilling over the cup! Clearly too small. So then I went to Victoria's Secret this week, just for fun, and to get sized (at 4 weeks 3 days post-op). Get this - I got sized at a 32DDD!!! Oh, Victoria's Secret, whoever did your market research is a genius. Inflate those bra sizes to make women feel good, ha! I just cannot fathom how I can be a DDD. However, this is in their Dream Angels brand. I did try on their sample lounge bra, and a DDD was too big, and the 32DD fit. But when I got home and tried it on for my husband, it was far too tight and no straps to adjust! I'm thinking their demo bras have been pretty stretched out from being tried on so many times. So I'm going to have to return the DD lounge bra. Anyway, I bought two of the Dream Angels lined demis, and will hold off anymore bras for a while until these girls have dropped more (they are still up pretty high). I am still pretty much bra-less at work and when I'm at home. If it weren't for my always perky nipples, I would just go bra-less everywhere, but those damn things make me look permanently cold (and as a result, also means no cute bralettes or anything unlined). I had that problem even pre-augmentation, so I always had (and still have to) wear at least a lightly lined bra in public so as to avoid poking anyone's eyes out with my "perfect breastfeeding nipples."
Recent pictures thus far - the picture really doesn't do this bra justice but it's beautiful. I don't care for a lot of frills, but this one has a lace band that also is across the front. It isn't noticeable even beneath a snug shirt.
That's all for now, will update again another time with more pictures!
Approaching the Worth It!
Well ladies, I think I'm approaching the Worth It phase of this journey. Not that I've been thinking it wasn't, but I just hadn't made up my mind yet. I have to say, though, that being able to fill a bra, wear my V-neck shirts that I've had for years, and knowing that I can finally pull off the summer dresses I've been hiding in the closet....well, it's such a huge relief! No more stressing about empty space in the top, avoiding swimsuits or any activity involving one because there's nothing on top. I am wearing my regular clothes and feeling COMFORTABLE. Wow, what a feeling!
The other day I wore a sweater and for the first time in my life, had the feeling that I was too big. I actually felt self-conscious about it and my husband laughed at me. "You look great!" he said, "quit worrying!" This is probably because most of my time is spent in scrubs for work, and you really can't tell I did anything when wearing scrubs. But, clearly I am continuing to adjust. :)
The D&F seems to be slow but that's probably because I see these things everyday. I do think the left breast is getting softer more than the right. I do wonder how soft they will get, considering the gel in there!
One more though, ladies, it really isn't about cup size. There is a member on this site that really stated this well. Breast augmentation is about getting the breasts that are proportionate and suitable for your body. I've noticed that many members on this site end up unhappy, thinking their ample breasts are too small, and continuously exchanging their implants for bigger sizes. Many times, I personally don't think the bigger sizes look very good on them, definitely not "natural" (maybe that's their intention). In those cases, I have to wonder if that particular woman has a deeper issue that she thinks breast size will resolve, when really it's something more upstairs. She's looking to fill a void that she thinks is superficial, but it's much deeper than that, and no amount of plastic surgery is going to make her like herself!
Ah, but that's my limited training in psychology coming out. Enough about that!
I truly could not care what cup size I am, as long as I feel comfortable in my skin and feel comfortable in the clothing that I want to wear. I was never looking to draw attention or have people ogle my breasts. Doing this augmentation was all for ME, and I have to say that so far I am very pleased.