Like most here during my young years I kept...
Like most here during my young years I kept waiting for my breast to develop. Every women in my family has big boobs specially in my mother's side of the family...they all have DD and some even DDD's... All natural!! So I thought for sure eventually I will develop some... a full B at the very least ????
I remember as a young teenage a few kids making fun of how flat I was/am ????
I started eating tons of food wanting to gain weight in hopes that I will get some on my chest. And the fact that I'm here tells you that I was unsuccessful..lol
But I was able to put my burning desire to get a BA on hold hoping to gain and keep some volume after breastfeeding my kids. I was able to gain a fold nothing else ????
Breastfeeding gave me the opportunity to feel what having breasts its like and I was only a B!!
I have to admit that I learned to love my breast with the help of my lovely husband. He has always made me feel like the sexy women I feel I am despite my "boyish" look on top. And although I'm content were I am at the moment I can't let go of that dream. Specially when I have to deal with the frustration on a day to day basis...the clothes, swimsuits, lingerie, etc.
It's interesting how I feel the most comfortable without clothes on than with clothes on. I think it's because of how disappointing it is to put a bra on that doesn't quite fit and its just fully padded...now THAT makes me feel fake ????????????
And although I feel most comfortable without clothes on (mainly thanks to my husband) that doesn't mean that I haven't had many moments of insecurity.....Oh the times I've walked into VS and felt like I didn't belong there... To supposedly buy a bra for support...what support!?...there is nothing to support!!! I wear bras to pretend that I have boobs, to look more like a woman, more proportional, more feminine.
Bottom line...I CANNOT WAIT FOR MY BA!!
Sure, I'm nervous...but excited above anything else.
I will make another post with all of my stats, dates and goals that way anyone that wants to skip all the drama and just get to the numbers can do so freely ????
I hope that my journey helps someone out there.
Thanks for allowing me to express myself and sorry for any misspelling...English is my second language ????
This is my last Thursday in the itty bitty club!! I'm so excited!!!
Weight: 107 lb
Pre op size: 28 A
What I actually wear: 32AA (with heavy padding)
Childrens: 2 (I got to a full B while breastfeeding)
BWD: 10.50 - 11.00
Activity level: Moderate
Whish post op size: full C, small D (maybe 32C or 30D)
Considering Implant: Mentor High Profile 300cc BWD 11.1 (yes is a bit over)
Placement: Under the muscle
Date of surgery: 11/29/16
How I choose my implants
I choose the MemoryGel Smooth Round High Profile Silicone
I had two surgeons that suggested UHP. The 1st one mainly suggested this because of my small frame (he is very conservative when it comes to BWD) and the amount of cc's that we were looking at. Although he was an excellent Dr. my husband and I end up going with the 4th Dr. I consulted with. This last Dr. also recommend UHP for me, again...my small frame and he has been liking the Natrelle outcomes. And to be honest I thought it was a great suggestion. I would be happy with that choice too.
Natrelle has a great fill ratio (which lowers the risk of rippling) and it is a cohesive gel but I decided to go with Mentor bc the fill ratio still very good yet a tiny less than Natrelle allowing me a slightly more natural slope on the upper pole without putting me at a higher risk of rippling. The shell on the Mentor is a bit thinner than the Natrelle. This was important to me because I have very little breast tissue to start with and it will be easier for me to hide the implants. I most point out that this two details combined I believe it should give a softer feel to the implant when it comes to palpability which is important for my husband ;)
Now, I want to make sure that I mention that all of this details are minimal. There is not much of a difference between one and the other but I just wanted to be as close as I can to the look and feel that I want. I talked to my Dr. about all of this and he agreed that it was a good choice for those reasons and that the difference was minimal but true statements nevertheless.
I'm currently getting all of my pre-op shopping done!! Any suggestions?
I'm so happy and excited!! This is really happening!!
About 300cc rice sizers!
What do you think? Does it make my body proportional? Are they too big for me?
On my way!
29 Nov 2016
Day of treatment
Today is my last day in the itty bitty club!!
The day of
29 Nov 2016
Day of treatment
This is really happening!!!
29 Nov 2016
Day of treatment
Did you put ice on? When did you start?
I forgot to post yesterday the pictures I took. They are still riding high but I know I just need to be patient. My PS said that everything looks great ????
Pictures from POD1
I forgot to post yesterday the pictures I took. They are still riding high but I know I just need to be patient. My PS said that everything looks great!!!
I know I'm a day behind with my pics but oh well
Feeling better today, less pain but really tired still
Hell!! Side boobs pain?
Ok. Im on day POD4 and I'm doing really good when it comes to pain meds and range of motion my concern is the amount of pain I'm still experiencing on the sides of my boobs. It's so tender!! Even to super light touch!! It's this normal? This much pain and sensitivity on the sides on day 4? Should I worry? When did it go away for you?
An emotional post
If you are wondering if this is a post about regretting my decision let me tell you right now... It's a definitely NOT. On the contrary is about how grateful I am that I had the opportunity and the courage to make it happen.
So today has been the best that I've felt since my BA a week ago. I finally found myself useful around the house. I was able to get a lot done and even got to go out of the house (nothing exciting, just grocery shopping..hahaha). I can now say that I'm truly not in some kinda pain constantly. Sure the soreness is there, if I try to reach TOO far it hurts, if I lift something somewhat heavy, no squishing hugs allowed yet and those occasional zings that I get every so often are still there. I'm really doing good today, specially when I saw myself struggling even with some of the simplest task at the beginning of this week. Lol
Since today I felt more capable of doing much more I decide to try on some of my really old lingerie... You know...now that have my new additions. Lingerie that I've had for 15+ years.
I want to talk specifically about the one that I've attached to this post. It's definitely not the sexiest, cutest, high quality babydoll my eyes have ever seen (I even lost one of the straps that came with..hahaha). It was something that I bought (it even has the tag on still) when I was a pre-teen (I'm 30 years old now) that at the moment I thought it was sexy, cute, scandalous and very provocative...hahaha...pre-teen nevertheless. It was on special and I had a little bit of money saved up (I'm originally from a 3rd world country, not much money available). Anyhow I decided to use the little money I had to acquired this item with the idea that one day I will wear it on my wedding night and look spectacular! (Lol). I even hid it from my parents!! So scandalous!!!!! Hahaha
As the years went by I kept waiting to fill it up... I told myself once I become an adolescent, maybe if I fatten up?, maybe if I buy this cream, use this machine, or maybe this oil will do the trick, once I get pregnant?... Nothing... I stay with a boyish frame on top. Thirteen year old girls had more boobs than me for crying out loud!!
I forever wanted a BA but it was just not happening for me. I remember my mother when I was a teen telling me that maybe after breastfeeding my kids I will get to increase in size and kept the new cup size. I mean she did, why not me? she increased almost 2 cup sizes because of breastfeeding. She actually had a breast reduction when I was around 10 years old!! I remember the whole ordeal!
So anyways, I held onto that hope. I'm now done having kids and my sweet husband was finally ok with the idea after much research, been financially estable and much understanding on his part of why I wanted this for me. Fast forward to today....I go ahead and out of curiosity pull out this old babydoll that I've held onto for so many years and tried it on. I couldn't hold my tears back. I started crying!! Like really crying!! And it wasn't that I was able to finally fill it out or about how sexy this cheap item made me feel. It was so much more than that. I was able to see myself as a full woman. And of course don't get me wrong boobs don't make a woman. I've felt a very strong woman in many of the rolls that I've and still fulfill in my life. Not to mention the hundreds of moments were I've felt very feminine and sexy with my small breast. For me those were moments, but in my day to day life I've experienced more frustrations than those many moments. The constant faking having boobs under my clothes and bikinis, the cute tops that you just can't wear, the lingeries that my husband has bought that need to be returned because you just can't fill them up at all like the majority of women can. And sure there are plenty of women out there that embrace their flat chest. And I applaud them for that, I truly do! It doesn't make them any less than a woman for having small breast. That's just not me. It has never been how I see myself. And I don't expect for people to understand where I'm coming from. I just wanted a space to express myself and only ask for respect in doing so. It is not my intention to make anyone feel offended or bad. I'm just sharing a personal experience of mine. And maybe if there is but only one person who reads this post and identifies herself in it, know that it's ok. You are not alone and it's ok to feel good about yourself. There can be many ways to getting there, this is just the way I choose for myself. And I'm aware that today I am but only one week Po-op and things can still go wrong. I was/am aware of those risk, and I made the decision of going through with it anyways. But today, I'm fill with joy for the opportunity to finally see myself as I've felt for so many years.
Thanks for reading :)
This were from last night that I forgot to post.
I completely forgot to post this!!!
Everything looks better with boobs!!
Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I have a private BA account about my journey on Instagram and somehow I got a request from my boss!! I have no clue why or how he end up "finding me" (I don't think he knows that it is me) and anyways I kinda freaked out and stop posting and updating. It's still a mystery to me but oh well, I rejected the request and decided to keep posting.
So far I'm loving them!! I'm still looking forward to them softening up and looking a little more natural but even if they don't change anymore I would still be happy that I did it :D
Sorry I haven't been updating.....
I tried some of my old dresses on. I love how they look on me now, they finally fit like they are ment to. Can't wait for summer time!
POW 4 - videos
Here are two videos o show how squishy and giggly they are so far. I do hope they get softer still. It's been almost 2 weeks since I made this videos and I feel they are ever so slowly getting softer.
I'm at 30 DD!! Couldn't be happier with my results. Best decision ever!