For years I've talked about getting a mommy...
For years I've talked about getting a mommy makeover when I was done having kids & once I finally lost the weight. My youngest is 2.5 and when he was about 1.5 I was sure I didn't want anymore kids. I've tried dieting & working out and have failed time and time again. I found a boot camp 8 months ago and it's been the best experience of my life! I've lost 30 lbs & I feel the best I've ever felt about myself (still having about 12 more to go and 12 weeks until surgery!). Unfortunately with the weight loss my boobs went with it lol so I want my flat tummy to show & nice boobies! I've met with 4 different plastic surgeons and decided on the doctor that wanted to do a little more surgery, but I felt like understood what I wanted in the end. I am SO excited but so very, very terrified. I've never been under before, so I think that's what gives me the most anxiety. I know the pain is going to suck, but I know the results will be worth it!
So I'm 73 days away from my mommy makeover and twice since I've booked my surgery I've had really strange dreams about it. The first one was that my husband left me right after I had the surgery so I had to take care of myself & then my boobs weren't even - it freaked me out lol then last night I had another one! I had a dream that I went in for surgery and realized they never gave me my prescriptions for painkillers for after surgery and everyone was so mean at the office about it lol I know that's the complete opposite of everything I've experienced with Dr. Doolabh's staff so far, but again - it freaked me out. Is this my subconscious telling me maybe I'm not ready for the surgery? I have a nervous breakdown once a week about the surgery, I'm absolutely terrified about going under & then the recovery. I'm not crazy am I? I can't be the only one going through this? lol
Guilt, lots & lots of guilt
So yesterday I had quite the mental meltdown over the cost and whether I really should be doing this. I mean, I could get the fence & patio I really want with this money instead of spending it on myself. I could take my family on a really, really nice vacation - but I'm spending it on myself instead. Is that fair? Am I being selfish? I've saved every penny for this surgery all by myself, but now I feel like I should be spending it on my kids or doing something to the house that I've really been wanting to do. I know this surgery will help me love myself again, but I just feel so incredibly guilty for spending all this money on myself when I know there are "better" uses for it. Ugh! =/
I'm finally ready to show me pics, ekkkk!!!
5 weeks from tomorrow
My surgery is 5 weeks from tomorrow and I'm totally freaking out. I haven't gotten my blood work done because I feel like the longer I push it off, then maybe I can just chicken out and not do it at all? lol I'm totally terrified about not being able to do anything with my kids & them seeing me laid up on a recliner not able to do anything (I know my daughter who is 4 will want to play nurse, she's the sweetest! She'll want to see my boo boo's tho lol). I just don't know why I'm doing this, I mean, I know why I'm doing this - but am I doing it for the wrong reasons? What if I just push myself harder, maybe the pouch on my stomach will go away if I work hard enough? What if I hate my fake boobs? My boobs would never be the same, ahhhhh!!! I'm just so confused & totally freaked out right now :(
so today was going to be the day
I remembered last night that when I started looking for doctors, today was the day I was originally going to have the surgery. I never actually scheduled it because something with work came up and I have to go to a work function in 2 weeks and knew I couldn't do that if I had the surgery, so that's why it's in June now. When I was getting ready this morning I was like "wow, I was supposed to be having surgery this morning!", I wasn't scared to death or anything, I was almost calm - but I don't think if I actually was going to have the surgery today I would have been ready. I texted my friend to tell her this & she reminded me that we're never really "ready" for it, you just gotta do it! I'm still very anxiety about my surgery that is now 5 weeks away, but I hope as it gets closer I get more excited and a little less nervous, one can hope! lol
one month from today!
I can't believe my surgery is 1 month from today! I'm still struggling with whether I really need to be spending this much money on myself. Yesterday my in laws were like "I don't know why you're getting a tummy tuck! What are you trying to get rid of?! That's the way God intended your body to be" so I was sad and my feelings were hurt, because of course they won't understand. I'm so thankful for this site though, every time I start panicking I text one of my RS girls to talk me off the ledge & I come on this site to read more reviews. I'm still most nervous about coming back to work after the surgery, obviously I'm going to look different and everyone is going to be whispering about me and what I had done. Whatever, they'll get over it! I just can't believe it's happening in 1 month!!!
Okay, so I have dreams at least every other night now about the surgery. Some of them are totally ridiculous & funny, and some of them I wake up totally freaked out. Please don't tell me I'm the only one who is having lots of ridiculous dreams? I had one the other night that I ended up on the operating table of one of the surgeons I had a consultation with but didn't like & I found out he had malpractice judgments against him and my sister snuck me out right before they put me under! LOL! Can I please just have lots and lots of dreams of me coming out of the surgery looking like a hottie? hahaha!
3 weeks from today
I can't believe this time 3 weeks from now Dr. D will probably be finishing up my surgery! I had my lab work done yesterday and since I've been having severe anxiety about going under, I decided to email my patient coordinator to ask her if the results came in. She called me a few minutes later and of course I missed the call, the lab work came back and everything was perfect! I'm hoping I can calm down now (I highly doubt it though), but I'm happy there is nothing I really need to worry about, besides the fact that everything in my life will be different 3 weeks from now LOL! My patient care coordinator is so amazing, in the email I told her how scared I am about going under and how I keep having nightmares and she told me to call her back and she'll help me work through it, how awesome is she?! I'm sure she deals with this all the time, but it is so incredibly hard to just put your full trust in someone else to 1. keep you alive 2. make you have the smokin hot body you are looking for. I'm busy the next 3 weekends and have a busy couple of weeks at work so I'm hoping that will keep my mind occupied more than the procedure that's coming.
2 piece for after surgery!
Here's one of the bikini's I bought and hope to
Wear once I'm healed! Less than 3 weeks to go!!
A little frustrated
I wanted to be around 145-150 for surgery (I'm 5'7") and I can't budge off of 158. I guess that I just need to come to terms with the fact that I won't be 145 or even 150 like I wanted. Hopefully that will fuel me to work my a$$ off again once I've recovered. In the meantime, I've got my moo moo for surgery ready! Haha!
Talk about information overload! I had my pre-op today and I've already forgotten most of the info! lol! I think my mind was in haze
The whole time . Decided on 470cc gel implants! 13 days! Getting excited but also nervous! Here's the cc's I picked! I hope they aren't too small lol
Just a few more days until my mommy makeover! I have a few more supplies to buy and I'll be ready to go! Ekkk!!
I can't wait to for the new boobies to fill this out and the flat tummy to rock this bikini! 3 more days!
I've had 3 meltdowns so far today, please send me lots of good vibes and prayers for a successful surgery tomorrow! Oh and this was delivered today, yay!
I did it!
My surgery was yesterday and everything has been good so far. I'm definitely in more discomfort, but staying on top of my meds. Here's a pic from my dressing change this morning.
4 days PO
Every day has gotten easier and I'm getting around better. The morning of surgery we had to drop our kids off at daycare and I was super sad and cried, but once I got to the doctors they had me busy getting prepped I didn't have time to be sad anymore. I remember them wheeling me into the OR and I got myself on the OR table and I don't remember anything after that. The first thing I said when I woke up was "is my old belly button gone?" Lol (and yes it is!). This has not been easy, but so worth it. Not loving my boobs right now so just hoping as they settle I'll like them more.
I haven't updated in awhile! I'll be 4 weeks PO tomorrow and I feel sooooooo good! I am so incredibly happy I did this! Everything is healing nicely and my boobies are my new favorite twins! LOL! I've been fitted for a bra and I'm a 34DD - whoaaaaaa! Anyways, feeling great & loving my new body! :)