I asked for a simple change in my nose, as I loved...
12 Nov 2013
2 months post
I asked for a simple change in my nose, as I loved my natural nose. I just wanted a small dorsal hump SHAVED off. Before he even got in the room he said "Hold on let me do this real, it will be really quick"- talking about the consultation with me. I explained what I wanted (stated above) and then he immediately started saying all of these things I should changed about my nose. I said no, just the hump, nothing more. Then he had a woman on his staff create an image of what it might look like after surgery. It was a tiny button nose that did not match my face. I said no, again, I just want the hump removed. He acted like he understood. Then the day of surgery came. I told him again I just wanted the hump removed, THAT'S IT. He acted very friendly and said he understood. Healing process was fine. Then the day I took the splint off came... It was the worst day of my life. I didn't even recognize myself. He completely changed my whole nose. I looked distorted, and I still do. He broke my nasal bone, narrowed my nose, rearranged the bone on my face, took off too much tip and rounded it, and made a hanging comella. He even said "calm down, it will look more like the one in the picture with time, you are swollen". And pointed at the very picture (nose) that I said I didn't want. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I wish more than anything that I could go back to the day of surgery and walk away.
19 Nov 2013
2 months post
I can't help but feel guilt, regret, and horror from this experience. I know that I am going to have a revision, but I also know that it won't ever look the exact same again... Which is what I want. But I pray that it at least makes me happy and confident again. I'm only 19 years old. I was so beautiful and confident before. I was just in search for perfection, really. Instead I got a monster. Thats how I feel. I just miss my face and my life. I won't go out in public or look in the mirror. I go around with white tape on my nose at all times. I even sleep with it on. Well, I fly out to Beverly Hills this Thursday to meet Dr. Litner and Solieman. So I pray that I find out some good news.
... Found out nose is collapsing
When I visited Dr. L and S they told me some interesting news. The reason why I am having trouble breathing is because my nose is collapsing due to Dr. Yarish narrowing it too much. Also, my nose is visibly crooked now. Great. More and more problems keep coming up. However, they said they are probably able to get my nose back very similar to my natural nose.
Well there's nothing to really describe how I feel besides miserable. And yet even that word doesn't do my true feelings any justice. It's four months until my six month mark. That's when I'm planning on doing the revision. The only thing I keep thinking about is getting my beautiful face back. It's so weird how one decision can alter your whole life. I went from being a happy, confident, sociable, young woman with the whole world at her finger tips.. To a sad, ugly, depressed recluse. The hardest part is knowing that I might not ever get close to my natural nose. I just want to find the right doctor that LISTENS to me and has a great deal of expertise in revision rhinoplasty. I'm thinking of Dr. Siegal a lot because he really agreed with me when I first saw him three weeks after my botched surgery. I'll probably go back to him to talk next month since it's been a bit longer after surgery.
Getting more impatient as the days go by...
21 Dec 2013
3 months post
It's been 3 months since the day that ruined my life. I find that as the days go by I get more and more impatient. Of course there are worse days than others, but lately they have been mostly bad. I just now have gained the courage to go back and look at old pictures and videos of myself. It's so strange because I feel like I'm watching some pretty girl that I'm envious of... when its me. But I feel like its not.. its a very surreal and sad thing. I always knew I was good looking, but I never realized HOW good looking until now. I say all this and then I remember the saddest part about this whole ordeal is that I just asked for a simple change. So simple that me, nor anyone else would have noticed a difference. The only difference should have been my profile was a hint better. That's it. I didn't have some huge bump, it was tiny!!!! If I just would have chosen a better doctor.. I think any doctor in Houston would have been better than Dr. Yarish. I really want to write a book about my experience bc the more I look into all these cosmetic procedures the more I realize how careful people need to be. Also the fact that we as the patients have no legal protection. I will also expose this doctor that I went to as well. He has caused pain to more people than just myself. I also have found that it is soooo hard to find a doctor that I trust!! I guess I'm just being extra careful now as I want this next procedure to be my LAST one.