I'm new to this blogging thing, so...
I'm new to this blogging thing, so excuse any rambling that is sure to occur over the course of this experience.
I recently booked a BL/BA with Dr. Vath in Goldeb, CO after years of hating my breasts.
A little background: I was an overweight kid...constantly teased and bullied through most of my formative years. In high school I developed an eating disorder (go figure) and lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time. While I love my new look overall, it left my boobs looking like I had breastfed 3 kids- deflated and sad.
I went on three consults (Dr. Vath was my second) and in the end chose him for his calm and calculated approach and honest demeanor. I put my deposit down, and am scheduled to have surgery Sep 14.
Now the jitters have kicked in and I am regretting my decision. I go back and forth as to whether I should go through with it. My poor husband, who has been so supportive, just wants me to be happy, but is getting tired of my indecisiveness, I'm sure. Anyone else out there have major doubts after booking surgery???
I feel like this may be a good outlet. I have only told 2 people I am even considering this. I am a vey "natural" person, and have many typical granola friends who I feel will chastise me if I go through with the procedure.
So scared and don't know what to do!
How to tell/not tell people?
What did everyone use as an excuse for their breast augmentations? I am taking off work Wednesday-Tuesday, and going back half days the rest of that week. I work in the dental field, and do not want anyone to know I had my surgery (having modest implants placed).
What's a good excuse for why I'm moving slow and can't lift anything?
Just finished with the pre-op appointment. I also had a second consult with Dr. Vath-that man is amazing. I had serious doubts when I woke up this morning, and almost called the whole thing off. My stomach was in knots, and I was pretty much an emotional wreck going into the appointment.
My husband came with me as he wanted to meet the surgeon and get all of the instructions for my post-op care. Dr. Vath came in and we reviewed everything regarding the surgery/expected outcomes, etc. My husband and I got our questions answered, and I felt so much more at ease! He has such wonderful bedside manner, and I truly appreciate the detail is goes into. I am a complete type A personality, so knowing exactly why and how the surgery is done was important to me.
Now the waiting game begins...2 weeks and 2 days. Still nervous, but now it's overpowered by the excitement I feel for finally being on my way to getting this accomplished and hopefully being comfortable in my own skin for once in my life.
After a lot of stress, and panic attacks, and more stress, and sleepless nights, I have come to the conclusion that surgery is not right for me at this time. This isn't to say I won't ever do it, but it just won't happen right now. Luckily, Dr. Vath's office is absolutely fantastic and beyond understanding. I called my patient coordinator in tears because I felt so horrible about canceling, and she did nothing but re-assure me that I am making an informed decision, and she understands completely.
I feel like an elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders. I have a lot of soul searching to do before signing up for such a major surgery. I feel like I was moving towards the surgery deadline, but my heart wasn't in it. Instead of being just the tiniest bit excited about my new look, I was frozen with anxiety, fear, and regret. That's when I knew I had to make the call and cancel.
Anyone else out there end up canceling? Like I said, I feel at some point I will take the plunge, but I knew in my heart now wasn't the right time.
Good luck to those of you starting of your journey, and happy healing. Hope I can get my life back on track after these few months of boob-craziness.
surgery back on
Now that I sound like a total crazy person, the surgery is back on for next Wednesday.
Yesterday I woke up and did my normal routine-shower, change, get ready for work. When I stepped out of the shower I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. I hate the way my breasts look. Absolutely. Hate. I was also crying because I came so close to finally doing something about it, to make me happy, and I bailed. Because I was scared.
I called the office and was able to speak with my amazing patient coordinator. We had a lengthy talk about the surgery, what I should expect, etc etc etc. She said nervousness and even doubt are normal, but at the end of the day, you have you ask yourself if you would be disappointed by doing it or by not doing anything.
It was then that I knew this is what I wanted, 100%. All of the pre-surgery jitters are still there...how will recovery go? Will I have complications? Will I regret my decision? But at the end of the day, I am terribly unhappy by the way my breasts are now (I don't even take my bra off in front of my husband!).
So, surgery is back on. I'm pumped...excited...nervous. I am filling the scripts tomorrow, and have pretty much everything I need for my recovery.
Any tips on what to expect or have post-op, and things to distract myself until Wednesday would be greatly appreciated. This has been such an emotional roller coaster so far.
On the other side
14 Sep 2016
Day of treatment
Surgery is done. Went in at 11:20, surgery was at 1. Can I just say I love my surgeon and his entire office? Now Laying in bed. Very sore, and I completely underestimated the back pain that came along with it. Can't get into a comfortable position. Taking Percocet and Valium, feeling kind of loopy. Will update more and add pictures tomorrow.
14 Sep 2016
Day of treatment
Before, before, wish pic, and 4 hours after surgery.
Day 1 post op
Didn't sleep too well last night. Woke up 2 or 3 times in a ton of pain, to the point where even slightly moving my arms was excruciating. I missed 2 doses of percocets. Now I'm back on schedule, taking 1 perc every 4 hours and 1 Valium every 6. I walked around the house for a few minutes and am able to use the restroom (pee only) on my own other than pushing the flusher.
Forgot to mention what type/size implants I chose: mentor 235cc mod classic. I didn't do this procedure to get big boobs. As you can see from my befores, I have droopy breasts with large areola and a slight tuberous nature. My main goal was a better shape without increasing siZe too much. Pre op I wore a 34A in most bras, and a 34B in VS that I never filled out. I'm hoping to end up a full B or small C at most. We will see what happens after all the swelling subsides, but so far I am extremely happy. Incisions are super clean and I haven't any bleeding, oozing, or bruising (knock on wood!).
Forgot to mention
So far I have not lost any feeling in my breasts. Can still feel nipples and all sides. Nipples are slightly less sensitive than they were preop, but so far so good
Staying on top of meds
Officially on day 2 post op. Slept like a baby last night. Made sure to set me alarm to take the appropriate meds to that my discomfort didn't get out of control.
I don't know how I would function without my husband. He has been such a great caretaker. I've been eating lots of pineapple, taking arnica tablets and applying arnica gel. Mainly taking it easy with periods of walking around the house every couple of hours. I have pretty good range of movement in my arms. Can still hurt in right arm when I push it too far.
My boobs definitely feel HUGE right now due to the swelling. My husband keeps reassuring me that they will settle down. I do not want big boobs so I hope they go down quite a bit. How long until the major swelling goes away?
Haven't had the dreaded boobie Blues, but I'm sure I will eventually. Being mentally prepared for any and all potential outcomes has helped tremendously with recovery so far. Morning time is the worst as far as pain. Trying to sit up and get out of bed is the hardest due to the tightness in my chest.
Thanks for everyone who went before me and shared their experiences...it prepared me well for what's to come.
Onto Day 4 post op. Definitely noticing some changes. They still feel like hard rocks on my chest, but certain areas are feeling softer to the touch. I have pretty much full range of motion in my arms. I'm able to shower, wash and blow dry my hair, etc. I get tired much more quickly than normal, however.
The biggest shock has been the mental fogginess from both the GA and the narcotics. I just can't think clearly and get emotional and nauseous at the drop of a hat. I stopped taking the percocets more than 24 hours ago, and am just taking Tylenol during the day and a Valium before bed to help me sleep. I hate sleeping elevated and on my back! Can't wait to comfortably sleep on my side.
It is definitely a mind trip looking at myself in the mirror. After hating my breasts for more than 15 years, it's crazy to look at them and think they look nice, even with the bruises, scars, and swollen skin.
I am so glad I went with a smaller sized implant. I think it has eased my recovery, and once the swelling is down they will be exactly what I want-small(ish), perky breasts and a wonderful shape.
I go back to work Tuesday and am nervous to do so. I have been relying on naps to get me through the day, and won't have that option at work. I guess I will play it by ear and just listen to my body.
Feeling pretty depressed today. My breasts still feel like foreign alien rocks, and feel huge and widely spaced. I can't sleep comfortably, and wake up with horrible back pain. I just want to feel normal again.