1.5 Years Update

Hello everyone! I'll chime in with my thoughts and experience now. It seems people grow self-conscious of their noses at around 12-13, and it's the same with myself. Until a few years ago, I didn't give it much thought aside from pinching it in mirrors just to see how it would appear altered because I thought I'd learn to live with it and/or grow in it. Neither of those have happened, and I'm 23 now. Instead, I feel my youth is passing me by while I plague my mind with the issue. There's a vibrant girl under the low self-esteem itching to shine, but being conscious of conventional beauty standards won't let me do it. Everything is about pictures these days. 1 in 50 will appear good to me, so I stay away from them. The one that does turn out good I feel I am misguiding others about my appearance, and I then I end up feeling bad regardless. Lately, I've been contouring my nose with bronzer, but I don't feel good lying that much about my appearance. Plus, it's disheartening once it comes off again to know it's not what you really look like. I don't want to become a glamour-puss excessively taking pictures of myself or anything, but I do want to have pleasant memories of my life documented to look back on when I'm older. Not just in pictures, but about life, in general. Having someone look at me from the side is another story. I just want it to end and move on with my life.

I started "researching" online about 2-3 years ago, and thoroughly read through a couple forums because landing on realself. I am 95% going to go with Dr. Grigoryants. The alterations I desire are unique to my ethnicity because I have thick skin, a bulbuous/droopy tip, a overprojected nose with a bump on it...going to my nearest PS would be a bigger gamble than undergoing this procedure already is. It seemed like a lot of plastic surgeons couldn't adequately handle ethnic noses looking at before/afters...a lot of noses looked "done" to me. There's a million more now, but when I first looked, there were still a lot of photos on Dr. G's site, and a lot of them were similar to mine before. I'd say 4 out 5 of his pictures up there look amazing to me, and I shed tears of joy when I first found him (corny, I know...but it was a struggle finding a PS who works with a lot of similar cases). Initially, I sent him pictures from all angles, and he returned an insightful e-mail with improvement ideas.

I flew to California for a consultation in December. It was a Saturday, and his lobby was packed (with people with similar noses as myself! Lol I got really excited.) He answered all of my concerns + more I wasn't aware of (breathing issue through one nostril). We basically talked about lifting and refining the tip, creating an ever-so-slight slope, and doing an alar base reduction. Although, he wasn't too keen on de-projecting my nose. Idk. I think it sticks out too far. Ideally, what I would loooooovveee is one that doesn't stick out far from a profile view AND with a tiny bump in it still. This way, my nose will still look like a slope but not super smooth (which I think can give it away). Not to mention, a completely smooth slope will make my face most of its character. Funny I mentioning my face having character when I'm seeking rhinoplasty, but I just don't want THAT much character on it. :D What do you think? Is this request even possible?

It will be a while before I go through with it because I'm a student and scraping up every penny of disposable income into savings for this, which is taking a long time. Until recently, my mother wasn't supportive and thought it's frivolous spending. I broke out crying a few weeks ago because I told her how much I refrain from enjoying life like others because of this, and she saw how unhappy her daughter is. Now, she is supportive and is willing to help pay for some of it. She has a cute nose and a pretty smile and everything, so I can understand why it would be hard for someone like that to relate with someone like me (esp. if it's a mother, who sees beauty in her children irrespective of their appearances). Anyway, that's a sigh of relief! I'll be able to get have it finished much faster now.

As you can also tell, I am optimistic about this. With a 81% satisfactory rate and 19% left for unsatisfied or undecided, however, I am aware the dangers residing and precautions necessary. It would be stupid not to be after the amount of "research" I've done in 2-3 years. Like with many others, however, this means too much for me not to try. The best way to avoid mishaps would be to avoid asking for too much and going with a PS well-versed in what I want.

So I had to use some of my saved rhino money for emergency school costs. :( It put a bit of a dent in the funds, and it's discouraging. Borderline depressing, but I won't say that because I don't want anyone to tell me I exhibit signs of BDD. :D

Do any of you play around with your nose is the mirror? I always do and took a pic this time. How I wish the bridge were really that smooth (check out the new pic)! Couldn't get the tip in because I'm pinching it, but if it really came together like that how great it would look! My entire face looks so harmonious minus my hand in the way.

Silly pic, I know, but looking at it will keep me motivated to continue saving.

I'm open to suggestions about what to improve. A new pic has been added (yikes!).