TT, BL & BA - uh. Why do i have a pooch? -VA

26 year old mommy of 2 (5 year old boy, 6 month old girl). I've never had pretty boobs, but pregnancy did NOT help! I gained the most "pregnancy" weight with my first, but my second is the one who made my boobs deflate even more =[ I always wanted to get my boobs fixed but after i had my son, and saw the stretch marks (and extra skin from the cesarean), I KNEW i had to get a TT.

I actually found my PS on YouTube! I found his work AMAZING, and decided to look him up. Surprise surprise- He was only 2 1/2 hours away from me! So i made my consultation appointment! Figured out- FULL TT, anchor BL and *at first* 397cc silicone BA (changed it to 457cc). I never thought i would actually get this done though.

Three weeks away!! Wow, im so nervous! Everything is paid in full, i have everything i need for when i go home... now i just wait for the surgery. Ill update as i go... But wow. Its scary and exciting at the same time. I'm so worried about being lop-sided! lol. I just have so much extra skin on my boobs... I feel like so much can go wrong. (yes, i worry too much) I quit smoking ONLY because so much can go wrong there! In the long-run, I'm awesome cause i ACTUALLY quit smoking... But man, with all these nerves flying everywhere, ITS HARD! Anywho. Ill post more when i can =] Ill keep everyone updated.

Im only 16 days away from the big day... But i still find myself freaking out.
I think google can drive you crazy... Hell, so can this website! But, i have 110% trust in my doctor. I just hope my body heals correctly.

I was freaking out so bad yesterday, i called the doctors office to ask questions, but pretty much to be reassured that everything will be ok.

I found out

-Its 457 cc (for some reason, i could never seem to remember that)
- UNDER the peck muscles
-Mid range.

Now, with it being mid range, that game me something else to freak out about. As soon as i got off the phone with the woman at the office, i google searched my size and mid range. So far i can't tell the difference. I thought mid range was like, the tear drop kind? But the doctors office said they were round shaped. So im confused. If anyone has any info on that, or experience, let me know?

Another thing i've been thinking about - People who get MM for the first week or two, their skin looks like it cant breath. Like some pics i've seen are SCARY cant breath lol. I know thats healing, and itll happen. But i dont want it to scare the shit out of myself... OR MYSELF at that! lol.

High hopes... but damn. I needa chill out. I'm gonna be ok...

ALSO! Ill inform yall a little bit more about myself.
Both of my kids were c-sections. Before i got pregnant with my son, i was 150 lbs. A week or so after i had him i was 237 (so i must have been 240? 250?). Anyway, at that time i was a 38DDD. Tried nursing, and yeah... that wasn't happening. So i worked out like 3-4 times a week, and ate correctly with portion control. 9 months after having my son, i must have been 160 lbs? maybe? And a year after having my son i was 150 again.
Somehow i got down to 135 lbs, 36C breast size, size 3/5/7 jeans. I was TINY for my height. I loved the attention. I loved all of it. EXCEPT the stretch marks and (even more) saggy boobs. If anyone has been in the situation- Clothes can cover up A LOT. Ill post a pic of how i looked before i had my little girl.
Anyway. I got pregnant with my little girl, SWORE i wouldnt gain much weight, and sure enough... i did. I was 137 when i got pregnant, the morning of the c-section i was 217!!! And now, my little girl is 6 months old and im 142. I worked out 8 times a week, doing double of what i did the first pregnancy. Sure did work too. And a lot faster! BUT. For some reason, when my milk came in when i had my daughter... my breasts got heavier, and harder than they did with my son. So now, they sag A LOT worse than before. But still anywhere from a 36C to a 36D. I got up to a 38DDD with her as well.

Anyway... that's more of an update, i guess. Kinda filling everyone in.

Ill post soon =]

Wow the typo's lol.

*gave - not game
*scare the shit out of my hubby and myself. Not scare the shit out of myself and myself LMAO!!!

As days get closer, i start freaking out even more. I dont know why, i know ill be happy in the end...

So i put on this cami last night before bed, and looked in the mirror and yes, those flap jacks are saggy, but they DO NOT look like a D cup! Thats the size i'm in! So i took a pic this morning and im going to ask for my readers opinions.... I dont look like a D huh? More like a C/B? What do you think? AND with whatever size i REALLY am, with 457cc's on top of it...what size do you think i will end up being?
I YouTubed Mastopexy + augmentation for a LOOOONG time last night. I was up until 1 (with a 6 1/2 month old, we ALL know thats a BAD idea lol)... But all the videos i watched were of women with BARELY any extra skin. They all got the areola lift. And the one person who got the anchor lift, like me, was waaaaaay more saggier than myself! So what gives? What size will i be? And why arent there any videos of anchor lifts WITH augmentation??

See. These are the OH SO IMPORTANT things that i'm freaking out about at last minute lol.

PLEASE POST about the size, and any videos you know of!!!

So this is what I do at night... Google search EVERYTHING that deals with my surgery, read EVERYONE'S reviews...

I have a 7 month old who wakes up anywhere from 7-9! Being up this late takes a toll on me! I'm trippin over how soon this surgery is. And my nerves are all fucked.

*sigh* 9 more days of this *anxious/nervous/scared* feeling...

yup... just 9 more days =\

I added a video of my doctors AMAZING work! I'm sure if people have youtubed plastic surgery, they've seen his work. He is SO good. Im STILL so nervous though.

Posted a different video. My boobs look PRETTY much like hers in the video's do... So. Im hopeful. Except im getting an anchor lift.

I sat here on the couch for like... 2 hours maybe? looking at people pre and post TT pics. And it scared the shit out of me (yet another thing for me to worry about!). Like, there's SOOOOO many women who get TT's, and have flat tummy's, but they are flat on the sides. Like no curves. Or the ones who HAVE hips, and you can TOTALLY tell from a distance "oh, hey....look at her... she's had a tummy tuck/ work done". The girls TT's that i saw that i was COMPLETELY in love with... they didnt get just a TT. They got Lipo. My dr said im "making something big out of something not so big." but i AM "Hip-y"... does that mean im going to still have a muffin top?

Im just freaking out... Ugh. Almost a week left. Im spazzing BAD.
The nurse at my PS office also informed me that i PRETTY much wont get anything for my nerves the day of. SO damn it.
I guess im just worrying A LOT right now.
The closer it gets, the more i freak out.

=[

1 week till my big day.
I'm freaking out more than ever, too.
The more i look online (i know i shouldnt), the more i wanna change things. Like, MORE THAN LIKELY i'm going to change my cc's. From 457cc to 533cc. Im scared to death though. What if theyre too big? What if they aren't too big? What if i bottom out? What if they're too big for having a lift?
I cant help but freak out.

Ok i did it. I called the office, paid the $50 "restocking" fee, and now....this is what I'm getting:
Style # 15
533cc
Width 14.4cm
Projection 4.7cm

OMG i hope i made the right choice! lol

Go big or go home right? haha

But wow, this week is SUPER stressful! Making sure everything is ready, taking care of my TEETHING, DRAMATIC 7 month old, taking care of my 5 year old who doesn't know what telling the truth about ANYTHING is... In a way, this surgery is gonna be a "time out" for me.

Thank god!!!!

I cant believe i have only 6 more days. I seriously spend most of the day on here, or this other surgery site, looking at before and afters, asking questions....going to forums. I shouldnt, but i am. I think all these websites i've been to have to do with why i went up in size. BUT... I think ill be happy about it. I just hope my lift is and ACTUAL LIFT, and not a partial lift. I know some peoples tissue, or whatever, are pretty much prone to sag. So im hoping mine isnt like that.

Anyway. I asked a question on the Q&A on this site, and took a pic for a reference, so im posting that pic on here. Might as well.

...6 more days.... high hopes....

5 more days...

I did a "Q&A" on RealSelf about my lift type, and my implant size... and a guy said its not a good idea to go so big. WTF? Thats one of my MAIN worries!!!! I dont want my lift incision to open due to the weight of my implants, and then my tit fall out!!! Im so worried about it. Im worrying myself sick. And i know AFTER this is all done and over... Ill be like "damn. I was stressin out for NOTHING". LOL we ALL do it. BUT that doesn't change your worries and fears about it.

Either way... This coming week =] Thursday it is. DAMN im so nervous!!!!

Its sad... I dream about boobs all night. lol. I had a dream about this website, i had a dream that my PS wrote me back (about being on my period at same time as surgery), i had a dream that they told me i was gonna be a nice "D" cup... I mean... thats seriously ALL i could dream of! Ugh i hate it.
Im kinda anxious just for this surgery to be over with so i can deal with recovery, and not have to freak out so bad about not knowing. You know?
AND! On top of that!!! I cant wait till my surgery day cause my husband goes on leave for *THREE WEEKS* (angels sing) My children have been SO INSANE lately... Maybe its cause Aunt Flow is here, lol, idk. But my son wont listen for SHIT. My daughter is teething AND trying new formula... So this is going to SUCK cause im going to be in a TON of pain, but this is going to be a sorta TIME OFF type deal for me lol.
But holy shit it wont happen soon enough!!!!! These past few days have been prolonged!

My pre-op days are getting more and more dramatic. I'm starting to think I should just call and cancel my surgery all together...
I'm beyond stressed out! My son was a good baby... no teething issues, he ate right, he walked early... you name it, he was like a dream! Amazing! ...Then he hits 5 (I swear to God, like right as he turned 5!) All hell breaks loose! He doesn't listen, he talks back, he lies, cries and tries to reason with you! He's ALWAYS in trouble!
My daughter (7 months) is the COMPLETE opposite (on EVERYTHING. No joke. no over exaggeration.) And right now... is teething. Furiously. OH! On top of that, we changed her formula. Rumble in the belly, anyone?
They both have me exhausted. And you would think when my husband gets home from work... he wouldn't be sarcastic. He wouldn't say sarcastic things. He wouldn't try to "make me feel better" by making asshole jokes. But he does. And he doesn't quit understand how I can be so stressed out right now "being a house wife".
I am a "Home maker", Damn it! I make this house a home!! I'm getting cut open, and nipped and tucked! I'm scared out of my mind!!!! And while I'm trying to calm myself, mentally and physically, and prepare myself for surgery in two days(ish), I have to pre-cook food,make my daughters baby food, vacuum, do laundry, take care of a dog and a cat (whom are VERY needy, BTW), cook lunch and dinner- all while raising these two kids! I do my job!
All I want is to enjoy my last PAIN FREE days! But no one in this house seems to see that. I feel like I'm having a breakdown because this stress... I'm all broke out on my face. Ew. LOL

I know this post IS a little "dramatic", but I don't have anyone to talk to... my husband is in the military and we just got married at the of 2010. I'm in a state where I don't know a single person and you guys (and my husband) are the only adult interaction I have.

I'm still having this surgery, but this stress is taking its toll.

...2 more days =]

OMG ONE MORE DAY!!!! AHHHHH!!!

Well... this is it. My last night cuddling up with my hubby (tomorrow night we're going to bed at 7 cause we gotta leave our house to be at my PS office at 6:45) and... the first part of the night was arguing. wow. LOL but things are ok now, and we're cuddling... like I wanted =]

RIGHT THIS SECOND I'm not scared or anything. I'm actually calm... that won't last long though. haha but for now... I'm happy.

oh ya! I talked to one of the nurses about my boobies! LOL aaaaaand you guys were right. My boobies won't rip open and fall out! LMAO I'm such a tard! But really... I just had to hear it from them. ya know?
But whatever. all I know is....

I'M GETTING MY NASTINESS FIXED IN 29 HOURS!!!!!

Here it is... March 7th, 3:20PM (EST, duh!) ... the day is almost over. I'm actually calm today, imagine that? Leading up to the surgery day has been one HELL of a journey... the next chapter opens tomorrow morning at 7:30AM. I try not to think about it, cause i want to stay in this sublime state of mind... but it is kinda hard not to think of. When i do though, i just focus on something else.
But in all reality- Tomorrow is INSANELY Life changing! How can ANYONE not think of that? I'm finally going to have perky boobs! I'm finally going to have a FLAT stomach! Only people who have gone through this knows what I'm talking about! And i don't even fully know what I'm talking about because I'm not fully there! I feel not even half as good as they do! But you know what? I feel good! I am SO excited i get to get this done... there are woman in the world who deserve this more than I do (i know i deserve it too), and who need it more than i do, but CANT. And that's one of the reasons i feel bad. But you know what? I'm able to get this done. I'm able to say "I worked my ass off (literally) at the gym, and as a reward... im getting this extra skin cut off, that WILL not go away on its own, and i am finally going to have perky tits! For the first time ever I WILL LOVE MY TITTIES!!!!" lol. Its funny, but it is so damn true!!!!
But holy shit... tomorrow is gonna suck. Well, starting tonight actually... I'm on my period, so no last time *lovin* (hehe) till I'm up for it after the surgery. I'm gonna have to force myself to go to bed at 7PM (when im so used to falling asleep at 12:30 or 1), and then I'm going to have to get up at 2AM to wash myself with that body wash my PS told me to get, get everything ready for when i come home, get everything ready for the babysitter, and then leave by 3AM so my husband can sign out for leave at work, then drive to a D.C. suburb to be at my PS office at 6:45AM like they said! Ugh... SO exhausting!!!

So ladies. Did i miss anything-

Paperwork
Warm socks
Sweats, zip-up hoodie and my sports bra
Glasses (if needed, really)
Wallet
Retainers for my piercings
Meds
Camera
?????
Anything else i left out? AND what should i have ready for when i return?

Wow. This is REALLY happening! I would say that i'm "blessed", but ...well i don't needa say it. All i can say is... I am really lucky. And I am so happy i was able to meet you ladies (online, but hey...its 2012!) You guys have helped me through this and i will take the advice when i am done with tomorrow! =]
But for now... I'm chillin

Ooooooomg I can't sleep!
Waking up every freaking hour!

And now my day begins. We're finally on the road! I'm actually kinda glad I got hardly ANY sleep, cause then ill be somewhat not normal and things will come and go and then hopefully ill wake up pain free, in my husbands truck. hey... I can have high hopes, right? =]

I just wish 295 and 95 weren't so bumpy. This is going to be hell on the way back...

I'm so nervous. I figure... if it wasn't meant to be, I wouldn't be on my way there... that being said- keep me and my husband in your thoughts? Please? =]

Today came and went! AND I DID IT!!!!!
HOLY SHIT AM I IN PAIN THO!!!!
Why did i do 3 surgeries at once? Ridiculous pain!!!!
Heres what happened... Wed night around 5:45 i took two tylonal Pm's and went to bed at 7. I woke up almost EVERY hour!!! But by 11:30 i was up. no stopping it.

And oh my god. I have to finish this tomorrow. Im fading in and out of sleep. lol. Ill post a before and a NOW pic lol.

PostOp Day2 is almost done! OMG!!!! I have been in the worst pain, i wanna say, in my whole life. Worse than my 2 c-sections. And i hope to god this is worth it! I hurt EVERYWHERE.
Yesterday was kinda bad.... the 2 1/2 hour drive was kinda bad... But when we got home is when it began. Its like i felt EXACTLY when all the pain meds wore off. It was HORRIBLE. And getting up in SUCH a mission. Just going to the bathroom is HORRIBLE! I threw up twice last night. It hurt so bad. The dry heaving was the worst. OH! And getting up is SUCH a mission, it throws me into sweats! Then, by the time im back to the couch, im freezing. Its horrible.

I didnt know id be sore like this. I mean, i thought reading all these stories that women post on this site would help me prepare, but i dont think ANYONE can prepare anyone for this. My lower back hurts from the way im sleeping (propped up), my upper back is hurting from the way im sleep PLUS these super heavy, rock hard knockers im sporting.... My incision from the tummy tuck hurts, the muscles are killing me (front and sides)... Im just a hot mess.

My advice for ANYONE is to get one surgery done at a time. I thought i had a high pain tolerance... ha! Hell no!
And you know what? Shitting is the last thing on my mind! The first thing i want to do??? SLEEP.

Anyway...So far, this is the worst part. And i hope to god i feel better soon, And i hope to god this is worth it.

OOOOOOOH my boobies!! We took the dressings off today (OW! I wanna say that was the most painful part of this!!) Annnnnd we're waiting to take the dressings off the tummy tuck. My boobs just hurt SO bad, i dont think i can do it.
So now i finally understand what everyone was talking about with the gas! Holy shit! Them gas bubbles are no joke! And im scared to push one out too! lol
But so far, ill admit it, its worth it. From what i've seen. I cant wait to see my tummy, straight up, but i know that wont happen for awhile. My boobs look amazing, and from what i can see- I DONT have an anchor lift. Im guessing its cause i went so big in size? IDK. Either way, im happy about that.
Im SAD cause im very close to being out of my pain pills! ALREADY! I dont get it. And they can call me in a refill, i dont think, cause its a narcotic... And my post op appt is next wed. 2 1/2 hours away. How is that supposed to work? I only have 9 pills left!!!
Anyway, I think a nap is calling me. Just wanted to updated peoples!

My right side boobage every time I use... is that normal?
Also! My upper legs/hip area is swollen. like... I've NEVER had a fat lower body, so this is killing me.
The binder is sooooo annoying and my sports bra is super tight since we took all the dressings off.

is all of this normal? Know why?

Thanks =]

I meant my side boobage hurts/burns when I use my right arm! LOL pain pills...

When can I sleep normal? LOL this is killing me.

When will my tummy not feel so tight?!
Id post a pic if I knew how to on my phone... ill post it when I can.

I just remembered two days ago while i was throwing up "i threw up twice the day after my surgery and it didnt feel like this!" .... omg so right! The day after, i guess i was still messed up from the anesthesia, but it made me throw up, twice, and not feel it! Like it didnt hurt! THEN the other day, i threw up from either drinking MOM without shaking it up, or from taking my meds without enough food in my tummy... either way. The other day FREAKIN HURT!!! I had to cough, aaaaand i wouldnt let myself. Not while throwing up! Hell no! lol. That was some pain!!!
Oh, and btw- Lynn- IDK is the MOM was thrown up, or worked, but i SWEAR 5 min after taking it i went! But idk if it was from the stool softeners, or the MOM or what... But i went =] But sadly...haven't gone since then =[

I wrote a response to on of my friends on heres posts last night... and i thought "wow. That sounds like an update" lol so i copied, pasted, and edited it a little. =] Go me! ......

I'm not as happy-go-lucky as a lot of the ladies on the forums are. like healing is a bitch to me. Sitting up properly to post on here or on Facebook is a fucking mission, you know? Everyone's talking about how they can walk upright, or how they can actually NOT take their pain pills and I'm just like... whoa. why?? I'm in pain man. I'm not going to force myself to stand upright, or force myself to blow dry my hair. I fucking can't. LOL I wish I could heal better like everyone else. well, faster.

its just tough for me I guess. I keep telling my hubby- if you gave me the option, right this second, to feel better in a snap and look like how I did before or to look like I do now and continue to get better at this pace and get the results along the way.... I told him id rather give it all back just to feel normal again. To sleep normal again... you know? Its SUCH a huge recovery, its really taking a tole on me.
I know ill be fine tho. its only been one week. every single day gets better and better. I'm just.... tired. LOL
The pain- Just to take my gauze off hurt so bad I cried! IDK what I'm gonna do when they take off my steri strips. Prob cry again?
I'm STILL taking my pain pills tho. He called me in more pain meds, but he lowered the dose, so ive been taking two, instead of one....and now i'm almost out of those. But i still wake up in pain.
My bed- OMG I MISS MY BED!!!! =[ The couch has more cushion I guess.... like for the support I need. I gotta keep pillows under my legs, for the tummy tuck. then I gotta keep all sorts of pillows behind my back and neck for the lift/implant.... IDK. I don't like being on the couch. IDK why we don't just go upstairs either. It just seems like a lot to bring back up stairs, just to see if it'll be as comfortable or not. .... but I've been wanting to. I bet id sleep better at night.

But yes- that message to my friend on this site, helped me a lot with typing SOOOO so so much! lol That just saved me such a mess of work! lol

Posted some pics...6 days post op. Dont mind my retarded ass. Figured id try to make some of you ladies laugh...
The pics of me "flexin" (lmao) is as far as i can stand up. Front and side view.... Normal for 6 days post op?
AND. I thought i went BIG with my boob size... But seeing the boobs on my body in a pic... i soooo coulda gone bigger!!!

Yeah... sleeping in my own bed isn't happening. Damn it do I wish it was!!!! =[

So i FINALLY had my *first ever* post op appointment for my MM =D The doctor went in on his day off to see me (cause i live so far away, and we were keeping up with my drains cc's via phone...it was time to take it out TODAY), and we wound up being 30 minutes late due to a stop to McDonalds for me to go #2 (and HURT my butthole doing it =[ soooo bad). It was great that he waited around for me that long.
Anyway. I STILL have my drain in! I was measuring 10cc's and under for the past 3-4 days, and today, for some reason, i measured 30cc's in a 3 hour period! AAAAND i had real dark blood (hubby googled it, said it was hematoma, which my dr confirmed it was hematoma BUT didn't use the exact word. Good dr. good.) so yes... its still left in =[
I can NOT wear Spanx, except for at night when i sleep.
Monday, if my DAILY total cc is 40cc or below, MY HUSBAND gets to take my drain out, because we live so far away.
My dr said he didnt need to use the "anchor" method for my lift, hence the lollipop scars. (YAY!)
My boobs wont "fall" or "drop" MUCH because the lift. (YAY!!!)
My implant size is to blame for the pinching, sharp pain under my arm...Nerve damage. Should be ok within a few weeks.
My arm going numb is due to my neck. Not my implants. (sleeping propped up)
Oh! And the BEST part! .... the reason my stomach is SO big and puffy ISNT swelling, like water weight, or anything from surgery itself! Its because IM FULL OF SHIT! HAHA! My dr said I'm full of gas, and doo doo, and its making me bloat BADLY. So prunes... here i come! =[
Pretty much... my hubby removes my drains, i massage my boobs 2-3 times a day.... not too much cause the lift, healing is a bitch.... aaaand i'm pretty much done with driving 2 1/2 hours to my dr. He said we can call him, at the office or house number, if we have any issues. If we have problems, i can email him, call or whatever, send pics... EVERYTHING, to save us the trip there. And to see him by 2 months(ish) or whenever is convenient for us. He has SUCH an amazing way to make me and my hubby (AND the baby!!!) to feel so comfortable =]

Man... there was something else that was FREAKING AWESOME that i wanted to share... but this medication is killing my memory!!!!
Ill post when i can remember =]

All is well. Today was a GREAT day... feel like i got a lot done (even tho driving in the car for 5 hours and going to Toys R Us isnt that much) today. I was exhausted when i got home... Holy crap was i exhausted. And sore!

Anyway. Thats my update =]

Quick update-
I slept REALLY freakin good last night!

I remembered what i was gonna say- The Dr cleaned out my BB, and it was THE WEIRDEST feeling EVER. But my BB is super cute.

AAAANNNND my hubby took a pic of my chest and tummy this morning..... BRA-LESS! First time ever! I look AMAZING without a bra!

HIIII!

Ill post REAL updates tomorrow, i took an anxiety pill and im about to pass out.

Drain still in. Draining a lot more now too.... IDK why =[ its dark red, almost black. Im sooooo ready for this damn drain to get taken out.

But yes. Ill update the past few days, and EVERYTHING along with them , tomorrow.

Posting a pic now of my boobs.... bruised as hell!!! And my nipples look like they are pulled WAY too tight!!! =[

Post op day 12-

I slept on my sides last night! I slept gooooood too! lol. Well, until about 6AM this morning, i wanted to sleep on my back. HAHA!

My drains are still spouting out lots of dark DARK red blood. My PS said its from a vessel, but the dark oil-like blood is a GOOD thing, cause that means whatever was bleeding inside me (*cough*hematoma*cough) is now bleeding brown blood ie OLD blood. So old blood = good. New blood = bad. IDK... All i know is hematoma, without treatment (draining), turns into seroma. And that scares the shit out of me. BUT i want this damn drain out!!!!
My dr said that since we live so far away, to wrap an ace bandage around my garment (and myself), REALLY tightly, so maybe the tightness will stop the draining/bleeding. So do it 2-3 times a day. Which we do, and it hurts like a bitch. But really...since we started it yesterday... my cc's draining has gone UP. SO idk but i do know im fucking scared.


ALSO! My BB is ADORABLE! BUUUUUT its still WAY too high. I can stand up straight now (for the most part. Last night was a ifirst)...and it still seems so high.

I cant stand my hips. Everyone keeps talking about my "hour glass figure"... but dude. Its not. I had HUGE love handles my whole life! My PS said i didnt need Lipo, but he'd do it if i wanted, just not at the same time as all the other surgeries cause time "being under". So i asked "do you think ill need lipo?" and the nurse told me his answer was "if i want it, but he doesnt think so. She's just very 'hippy'" Which, idk how to take that as. But i dont want to have this flat ass stomach, perky boobs, small waist and giant cupcake top, NOT MUFFIN TOP, BUT cupcake top!! Its THAT bad.

Also. When he drew on my stomach for what he was going to cut, he drew from the MIDDLE (idk why) of my BB, down to my UPPER hips (ugh. I could cry for how this looks right now) and he left out this giant TIRE on my right and left side of my stomach (not sides, but stomach). Im posting some pics of how i look right now, but i cry about it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

Speaking of crying. I cry over everything. I mean LITERALLY. And no, no prego. lol. I cry about wanting to go back to being "normal" (acting normal), i cry cause me and my hubby cant have sex, i cry cause my daughter is teething and insane like.... i mean i cry over IT ALL!

I didn't think it would be like this. Like... You read all these stories, and do all your research... but it doesnt even compare to what you actually go through.
Im a mess. I wish i could give it all back just to be able to STRETCH like normal. To be able to bend over and pick up my daughter, or son. To be able to go to walmart for 30 min and not be exhausted at the end of the day.... Id give it all back!!! I miss sex! I miss my bed! I miss my normal bras, and no GURDLE type things on my stomach. I miss it all.

I want this damn drain out, and i want this tire gone! I want my fat on my hips gone! Im already planning (in my head) my next surgery of LIPO!!! Its needed. I think. IDK why the dr wouldnt have told me to get Lipo tho... IDK.

Im seriously a HOT mess and i wish i could get back to normal =[

Stay classy San Diego ..... =[

Post op day 16... I think? Thursday was 14 days, todays Saturay... I just woke up. Don't judge me. lol

I'm not AS emotional as i have been, but it still comes at least twice a day. Yesterday i cried for what must have been 2 hours straight. I kept telling my husband "can we PLEASE take all the mirrors down in the house? I HATE my stomach!!!!" .... I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES TIME!!! I DO! But damn it.... ANYONE who has had ANY TYPE of cosmetic surgery KNOWS it takes such a long time to heal, but you STILL CANT HELP how you feel!

Yesterday was awesome. I put on ACTUAL clothes and went to Walmart. I looked SO hot (even with the swollen tummy) with my giant boobies and flatter stomach. It felt so good....except the over 60+ year old men starring at my boobs. LOL. Awkward. I've always been told that ill get stares, but i figures- hey, i get stared at ALL the time cause my bright red hair, piercings and/or tattoos... But wow, its a different kinda stare. LOL. Its so creepy.

I'm still draining over 50cc's a day of this black blood. And my thread that was holding my drain into my skin had snapped. I had blood coming out of my drain hole yesterday, and then i woke up this morning and the gauze and tape we put over the drain to hold it down and keep it snug, had blood on it again. I wonder if its from sleeping ON MY SIDE! Thats another "UPPER" to my progress- SLEEPING ON MY SIDE, IN MY OWN BED!!!!!!! Oh so nice. But i cant wait for MY tummy time =] lol
But yeah.... I'm SO over this drain with NO progression.

I woke up about an hour ago (as i said), and when i put on my yoga pants and a tank top, i looked in the mirror and thought to myself "wow, i look kinda hot. (then thought, ill look even better IF my stomach gets smaller!)"... It feels good to not have a giggle there anymore. Or to have to pull my boobs up and to the side to keep them from flopping out of my bra from being so saggy. The only giggly thing on me now is my FAT ASS BACK SIDES, and my upper arm hang.... But i think the under arm hang is normal for women, but i know FOR SURE one day (prob when im old enough for a face lift) i will get my arm hang cut and snipped. BUT ANYWAY (wow, im SO A.D.D.!!!!) ... it feels good to not giggle. Its still awkward sitting down without a buldge there though.

I took 2 week post op pics... I know i post pics A LOT, but its for people LIKE ME, before surgery, to keep up with the progress....as well as my own well being (to SHOW myself that i AM getting better, and thinner, every day).

Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Monday I'm calling my dr about my drains again... blah.

17 days post op- We called my dr yesterday cause i was still draining DARK blood, and it seemed a litte thick. He said we HAVE to take the drain out next week no matter what... risk of infection. But thank god! BUUTTT it worries me because the risk of seroma, and my PS being such a long ways away. But MAYBE the drain is causing something inside me to bleed, and taking the drain out will help it stop? IDK. But he pretty much put me on bed rest, with getting up to walk a little bit, because it slows my draining down. HAHA he also said im the first patient in 18 years of practice to have a drain in this long. Know what i said???? "yaaaayyyy" lol VERY sarcastically.

So im on the couch now. And since being on the couch, I've gone internet shopping. LOL what else am i supposed to do? ITS SO BORING!!!!

Anyway... thats my update. Ill keep everyone posted on the drain thing.

PS- all my incisions are starting to burn. Damn it =[

Ill explain more later... but my drain has slowly but surely stopped draining (except 5cc in a 12 hour period last night to today)!!!! Sooooo guess who'd drain comes out in about an hour?! BY THEIR HUBBY!?!?


This girl.


OMG IM SCARED! LOL


Ill lost later. AAAAND prob a video. haha

Here's two pics we too yesterday... progression pics are BOMB!!! But. I wish i would've gone bigger with my boobs. AND had lipo.

DRAIN IS FINALLY OUT!!!! YAYYYYY!!!!


It leaks a little now... but i got gauze AND a panty liner over it. Gotta save my Spanx! BY THE WAY- My 1st stage AND 2nd stage under garment didnt fit anymore, so we had to spend over $70 on the super-duper spanx. And let me tell you.... THEY WORK!!!! AND! OOH! AND AND AND! Im a small!!! =] hehe wow.

Anyway. Im starting to feel better. AND i coughed earlier and it BARELY hurt. lol. Yay.

So now, i just gotta lay my hungry ass (and i mean HUNGRY, like 24/7!) on the couch for 3 days. Only get up to go pee. LAMEEEEEEEE =[

Anyway. Things are getting better. Im ready for my final results though.

I did my makeup today, and my hair... just to go eat and go to walmart. But as soon as we sat down to eat, i felt my anxiety kick in.
The fact that people agree with me, that i need/ should have gotten lipo, the fact that they agree with me KILLS me. I've always had issues with my self-view... But when i get reassurance that what I'M seeing isnt really JUST WHAT IM SEEING, but its actually what others see as well... That makes me feel so bad.
I feel ripped off. I feel let down. I feel cheap. Not because of that (not just that), but because my doctor didnt recommend it to me.

And i hate that its not just in my head too. And yes, i am VERY VERY hard on myself. I can't help that though. I just wish i was small. I wish i was petite.

I'm just sad. And unhappy with my results, and im sad that my head is SO fucked up that i can take things in such a bad way that i never forget it. I HATE IT.

I know itll get better.

I just wish my brain would shut down and stop for a little.

Talked to my PS this morning on the phone. As he was in the beginning.... he was very calming. He reassured me that EVERYONE is different. That i have LONGER hips than others, and there was nothing but skin and bone (what he said) but honestly... i believe that was a little fib. But he said if by 12 weeks or so, if im still unhappy, he'll gladly do lipo on me. Which Im unsure if that means i get discount cause i wanted it before, or what.... but if its full price, then uhmmmm.... im finding somewhere closer. I already e-mailed two doctors yesterday about a consultation.

My boobs seem smaller. Like, theyre more natural that what i was aiming for, ya know?
So now i want a breast exchange AND lipo. Ugh. Women are never happy.
And im soooooo worried about my TT scar. What's some good stuff to use to help it not scar so bad?
And when can i tan?

Im so bloated today. Its horrible. It bloats ABOVE the incision, so i look weird as hell. I don't want my salt intake. I dont think it helps THAT much. I mean, eventually I wont bloat anymore, right?

ASO! Question!!!! My tummy, like right under my belly, is really hard. Is this normal? And when my skin "relaxes" will i stop looking like a sausage link? I mean, im serious. My stomach is so bloated all the way around to my back, i look like a sausage link. When my my stomach be THIN and not so stretched straight down looking?

Help ladies?

AND HOW do i find a GOOD surgeon around where i am? In the Richmond area???

PS- posted a pic for an AVI on JustBreastImplants.com ...so im gonna post it on here. To show off my hooters. lol

....i wanna go bigger =[

Day 24 POST- Things (since my last post) have been better. I notice i feel better when i get dressed (like some of you ladies said), but i always end up being REALLY uncomfortable within an hour or two.

I got dressed, hair and makeup did (hehe) yesterday to take the kids to a battlefield park (been here for a year and never have been!) and to have a picnic, BUUUUT it started raining. Lamest lame. BUT i posted the pic of me on my facebook and ALL my friends said shit like "OMG BIG BOOBS!" or "wow they're big" ... So it KINDA reassures me that they ARE still big =]

Now with my tummy tuck... I eat salt as i wish. I figure if someone is going to swell, they swell no matter what... BUT yesterday i thought "hmm. Ill watch my salt intake for today" so i did aaaaallllllllllllll day up until dinner, and i looked pretty good thin (not thin like my final result will be)... then at dinner we had fucking taco bell tacos!!! And by 1130 last night, my stomach above the scar was almost hanging OVER the scar! Ugh. Horrible!!!!! So now i see why people say to not take in a lot of salt!!! Jebus!
But my belly button is pretty much fully healed (has been)... no scab, nothing. Just tight. And idk about my other scars cause my PS says to keep the steri strips on for 4 weeks, take off, clean, then reapply for another 4 weeks. I kiiiiiinda took a peek at a little part of the scar on my areoola and it looks BEAUTIFUL. It didnt look harsh or ANYTHING. But then i applied more tape over the steri strip. As for the tummy tuck scar, i havent seen yet. That scar is a little sore. But im guessing is like my c-section and healing like that. I just dont like how the scar goes IN and my skin follows it.... PS said its cause the sutures inside are pulled SO tight, but it wont be like that in the long run. So, yay. lol

Anyway, im posting the pic i took yesterday. ITS ME!!!! MrsRod aka AMBER lol

ALSO! My husband and i got bored last night and took pics and edited them, and they turned out BEAUTIFUL. So i'm gonna post a few of those as well.
YALL GET TO SEE WHAT MR ROD LOOKS LIKE!!!! =] lol. (Rod = Rodriguez....get it? lol im so dumb)

I woke up this morning TOTALLY sore !

First it was around my BB. not my BB itself, but like all the muscles from my BB down. that started last night... then I woke up this morning with major Morning Boob! They were hard! I mean, they softened up, but my chest muscles have been sore all day. I can't wait till things are back to normal...
omg and my incisions!!!! They've had this dull pain for about two days now!!! Will it ever end?! Lol

Today, I did a no no. MY ps wants me to keep my steri strips on for 8 weeks, take em off at 4 weeks, clean the incision and then putm new tape on it... well my 4 week mark is Thursday =] naughty little me, I took the tape off the top part of my areola. My eyes literally teared up. I havent had small areolas since I was 10. They are SO beautiful they brought tears to my eyes! LOL. but really. they were beautiful.

anyway. besides that... nothing new. my stomach is still oddly swollen in ODDLY places...
I don't cry as much anymore...
I still want lipo and to go bigger in boob size...

and I wanna get back to normal!!! Omg I wanna get back to normal!!! Lol



happy healing ladies...

wtf? Why does my stomach look like this?????? *new pic posted*

Welp! Its been 4 weeks. Annd wow has it gone by fast! Its been such a blur! My husband goes back to work monday =[ We got orders to be stationed in NY in August... which means he will deploy in 2012 =[ I've NEVER been through that before. This is gonna blow.
What else? ....My daughter is pulling up on things, and walking along the sides... SO much has happened in the past 4 weeks.But i forget! lol (not the stuff i need to remember, like my daughter starting to walk)

We got to take my steri-strips off today!!!!! YAYYYYYY! But WOW. What an emotional thing. I was kinda in shock to see what i saw. Ive never had small areolas. I've never had THIS BIG of a scar running across my stomach. I started crying. Im happy, but shocked. But i am SO happy with how my areolas look. I mean...wow. I hope my nips move up some though. They look kinda low to me.
Anyway. I got new steri-strips back on. And wow, them bitches are expensive! lol.

Things have been better. Im still emotional, but its not as bad.

I started my period (no missed period due to trauma for this girl! lol) and i swore i was dying lol. I dont know if having a period can effect your TT cause theyre so close to each other, But wow, those cramps fuckin hurt!!! Mixed with either poo or gas pains... i was in hell the other night.

But oh well. Im doing ok. Been sore every now and then. But im ok.

Ill post pics of my 4 week LOOK =] haha

PS- Can you tell me if im healing ok? Like do i look normal for 4 weeks?

*****2013

correction

Updates...hmmmm updates.... Well. Im getting back to normal, i suppose. Things are hard to get back into the habit of. Even WALKING around walmart is hard to get back into the habit of. My leg muscles are KILLING me from it! lol
I vacuumed, aaaaaand no. It hurt my boobs.

Today i took my son and my daughter to party city, and i had my daughter in her car seat, and picking up her AND the car seat hurt my stomach SO bad. I ended up holding her only. So... that wont happen again for awhile...

Now here's some problems, and possible solutions:

I feel like my breasts still have a droop to them. They gross me out, actually. I paid WAY TOO MUCH money for them to have ANY sag! So i'm very upset with that.

My tummy tuck scar is STILL way too high, and i was told it would lower, like by my panties. So far.... nada. I dont think it will happen either.

LOVE HANDLES!!! No, no, no! They are NOT love handles! LARD HANDLES is more like it!!! I am SO upset with my PS for not doing lipo on me... From the side- Totally hot! From the front - EWWWWW.

My hole, where the drain is, is nice and scabbed up, BUT when i wear jeans it hurts. So im always in sweats. Sexy, right? =/

Solutions?

I sent an email to Dr. Revis in Fort Lauderdale, FL, with pictures of my boobs... and we came to a conclusion: I'm going to get a revision. I want BIGGER, more projection, and PERKIER! I'm going to post the part of the email that explains PRETTY MUCH what I'm doing-----

"Thank you for the photos and information. I will need to see your 12 week photos before I can make an accurate assessment and know exactly what procedure I would recommend as well as the cost, so please do send me photos at the three month mark.


But my initial thoughts are as follows- I see everything you describe, and I think you do need larger breast implants- ****they still seem a little deflated.***** I don't know if 650-700cc is really going to do it, however. It takes at least 100cc to see a difference, and 200cc to make a cup size. You said you wanted significantly larger, so perhaps 750-800cc High Profile silicone gel would be a better choice? In the meantime, try finding some goal photos- those will also help me help you choose the correct size.


Also I hope your tummy tuck scar heals better in a couple of months, because lowering it can be difficult if not impossible"

I put stars around what pissed me off the most! NOT because he pointed it out... but because my PS made them like this!!!

So anywho. I'm going to 800cc silicone HP. Prob in 2013 when/if my husband deploys, OR i make enough money doing this side job. I'd have to fly there which SUCKS, but his work is AMAZING. (Thats another thing!!! We're moving end of July! GOODBYE VA!!! WOOHOO!!! Hello NY =/ ugh. And hello coldness!)

Anyway. I look at it like this. I'm TALL!! I'm 533cc's RIGHT NOW... and they don't look over the top. SO i figure, 800cc's will look *a little* over the top, like how im wanting... My husband wanted me to go to 1000cc's, which i would IF they had silicone, but they dont. So 800 it is =] PLUS lipo of the flanks AND an internal bra.

But yeah.... thats my updates =]

I hope you ladies are doing and healing good!!! < 3 Posting pics =]

Wow! Long time no talk girls! AND long time no pics posted! lol.

I JUST took some pics of my boobies. and how i feel like theyre sagging (opinions please).

Anyway. Things are good. My PS said i can go back to the gym tomorrow... which i need to. I feel like my arms are getting flabby lol. OOH! OOH! AND! I can make my boobs dance LOL Ill attatch a video of that as well. lol I'm so stupid.

Anyway. Tape finally comes off next week! HELL YEAH!!

lol

Things are ok. Im still not sleeping on my tummy...too worried to. IDK why.

OH! And! My tummy tuck has A LOT of puckering on the sides. The middle is BEAUTIFUL, but the sides look SO nasty. PS said it was cause the stitches were pulled so tight on the inside. Should subside by month 3. =[ So long cute summer bikinis.

Oh well. Anyway.

Seriously. I have a pooch. WTF. SERIOUSLY!?!

=[

Im almost 9 weeks out and i have a fucking pooch!!!

11 weeks post-op TOMORROW.
Its not seroma, or however you spell it. I YouTubed what it looked like and its FOR SURE not a waterbed! lol... So im hopeful that its just maybe swelling? My only issue with it is its hard. Why is it hard? I hit up my PS with a pic and he said its just swelling, and to try to tap it to see if it looked like a wave. No wave.

Here. This is the convo:

me-
Hi Dr Brown!

I was writing because some people have me worried about my tummy tuck. My family Dr (on base. Boo) said it looks like a possible seroma ****that was a lie, just wanted to see what he'd say****, and a few friends of mine said the same.
Is it possible to get that this far out? The pic was taken at 8 1/2 weeks post, and my tummy in that section is hard. I was told to ask you about it. I was so worried the other day i was crying about it.

Also! Under my breasts it kinda indents when i raise my arms up. Its under both of them. I was wondering what it is? Its very important i know because i need to know if i need a revision.

Please get back with me.
****attached same pics as i posted on here a few weeks ago****

My PS-

Hi, you are welcome to come in. The other day when you lifted up the heavy car seat and pull something, you may have caused a bit of bleeding? Doubtful though. If you have a fluid wave like a water bed in that area on your tummy, then you have seroma. If there is no wave, then odds are it is only swelling. As you have come out of the garment and began doing more activities, your swelling will worsen episodically. This can take SEVERAL months to go away completely. Again, you are welcome to come in if you like.

As for your breasts. You have large implants and lifting your arm way over your head like that can expose them. That is not a natural position and I would not recommend any treatment for this at this time.

As for incisions, I use a few as possible to get the job done well.


Me- I dont understand the wave thing. Can i try to email a video? Ill just poke it and send it?


My PS-
Sure if you like. Basically, if you have ever sat on a waterbed and seen the wave move across the bed. That is what you will see if there is fluid. You would push down on the area closest to your belly button but still on the bump. Then look out towards your hip. It you see a wave move across it, then you have a seroma. If not, then it is probably swelling secondary to your activity. It will go away over time. Again you are welcome to come down and or send me a video.




Anyway. I never sent a video because i looked up a video on YouTube. So i guess thats out.

STILL, being hard... why is it hard? Anyone have any guesses?

Ill post pics.

And my boobs... well, im gonna get them redone. I still think theyre too saggy.

Hope everyone is good

UNHAPPY! Set appt for another Dr....making a new review now.