Failed Primary, need revision - Dallas, TX

hello. I would like to share with you my road to revision story, I need revision because of an unnecessary failed primary, I say unnecessary because the surgeon I went to is a very skilled surgeon , I feel like I m the unluckiest patient dr Cochran had. he has so many happy patients . my bad outcome could have been easily avoided if 1- we were on the same page my doctor, I expressed that I did not want to pinch my nose or reduce the size of my tip and 2- If I had antibiotics on time, infection has destroyed what ever was left in my cartilage after a cephalic trim. I did complain a lot in the first couple of weeks after my surgery , my first email was about white liquid coming out from my right nostril that has become very small and different from the left one, then I started calling 2,3 times a day complaining about this side, every single time I was told it s just swelling.. then the pain my septum felt like it was on fire,,my upper lip became swollen and I felt like there is a force inside my nose pulling my septum and columella upward pulling my upper lip to the point I couldn't put my lips together. I emailed dr cochran freaking out, he called me that night and asked me to send a picture and explain what I see and feel. he was very reassuring stating that he "doesn't see anything to worry about", few days later I still had the symptms and even though dr Cochran said it's nothing to worry about I decided to travel to Dallas to see him. he was nice as usual , and said that I have an infection and my upper lip is bruised. I asked if I will need revision he said not to worry I will not need one, I knew in my heart that I will need one..he gave me antibiotics but I think the damage was already done or those antibiotics were not the right one because the my nose became very damaged and more painful with time. long story short my fears were true.I did ended up with a sore stiff deformed little thing on my face and a deformed upper lip. last couple of years were very hard...I have traveled to Dallas twice , dr Cochran agreed that the results are not what he hoped to achieve and said he will fix it. traveling all over to see him and may many ENT in an attempt to heal was very expensive.I have spent all my savings..lost my job ..I believe dr Cochran has the skills to revise my nose but this primary has bankraped me,he says it 's free but really it s not free..I will need travel money ( very expensive when you live in the other side of the world) hospital fees,anhestesia fees and many . meanwhile I communicate with Jeny ( she is very kind and professional, and I do appreciate her support , truly a wonderful person). I try to send updates to dr Cochran with symptoms I still have. I have these thick scabs that smells very bad and burning pain.waiting on his medical opinion. my only hope to get my life and my face back is a successful revision, I am in a very lonely dark place right now, I am million years away from happy or normal. this little thing on my face is destroying me. I will keep you updated on how things evolve with me, sending prayers to all of those in the same situation.

I'm having avery bad day and In need some help going through these days, I met an old friend who asked me why I did this to myself, and that I look bad ,she felt sorry but she said she had to be honest. she mentioned "Micheal jackson", I know that I'm becoming more like Mj by the day, and I m tired of hearing it...I feel like it's over for me.I m in pain and I look like MJ and I have no more ressources . my nose is getting worst , my upper lip is painful and looks horrible..I look like a monkey..I don't have any more ressources or energy to fix this, my family are so tired as well..they feel very sad for me.. I wish I could say IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME,BUT IT ONLY GET WORSE. I don't know what to do anymore.

I appreciate those supporting me. by sharing my road to revision story , I asked for help. I was hoping for advice , encouragement, positive stories, and especially form dr C revision patients . I also wanted to talk to hear from people in the same situation because only they can understand . I'm not suicidal like some has thought, I will not do this to myself and to my poor parents , I'm depressed heart broken, and terrified but not suicidal. those negative feelings are very normal, especially when you have to deal with constant sharp pain all the time for the past 2 years, and you see that your whole face keep changing to the worst,upper lip looks and philthrum are so painful and my upper lip keep chaging, in the last few months my nose has gotten even shorten and smaller, not having any more financial ressources to deal with this is making me hopeless, watching it getting worst by the day is terrifying , not being able to breath anymore is annoying, the constant pain sharp pain will stress the hell out of anyone. not knowing what do you have , or what s burning inside your nose and philthrum anf not knowing how worst is going to get is terrifying, so please forgive if I sounded negative, I have seen grown men with kids , great support and access to the best doctors and better results than me who suffered from a very bad depression after a failed rhino. I also needed guidance because I lost my support group at home. my parents are depressed because of what happened to me so I try to act normal ad we avoid talking about my situation at home. I take pain killers and I tell them I feel fine . I think and hope dr C will not see me as problem patient but as a patient with a big problem, I m not intersted on fighting or suing , all I want is little bit of my normal face back and for the chronic pain to go away, . so I can live and move on. I have over spent 50 k so far on this, 50 k in Morocco is like 200 k in the US. and I ll have to save for 10 years to be able to just travel and have mu free revision. that 's why I m hopless and i m breaking down..