I am nervous, I have tons of thoughts going through my head. I'm excited, but also feeling many things like: I'm being selfish, I could use this money for my kids education, what if I die, how is this going to affect my work, and so on...
Looking to find others who are feeling the same things that I am. I'm not telling many others that I'm doing this. So I don't have anyone I can talk to about this that can relate to my feelings and the many thoughts that are running through my head. I am a planner and think every detail through, so I'm sure I will have lots of questions in the forum.Updated on 24 Oct 2011:Well, it's getting closer to the big day. 55 days to go. Made my payment for the PS, I just need to pay the OR in a month. This was scary, it made it so real, like it's really going to happen. Hoping nothing big happens and I wish I would have had the money saved back for that emergency. Not feeling like I'm getting much support from my parents, so that has been bothering me too. However, my friends and husband seem to be supportive. I've started my list of things to start purchasing and getting ready. I'm feeling really excited, but right now wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I think the money thing is the scariest part. I'm just hoping I'm not kicking myself later and having my husband mad at me or we are wishing that we had the money for something else. Sigh... I know this is part of the emotional process that most people go through, but I'm just praying, I'm doing the right thing.Updated on 3 Nov 2011:Well, I started a cycling class this week. I thought running and P90X were hard. Wow, cycling sure gives you a workout. I'm trying to get my metabolism up for the surgery so hopefully, I will bounce back quicker.
I started buying some of my surgery items: A wedge, bromelain (spelling?), arnica cream, spirometer (just want to be safe) and make sure I do my deep breathing to prevent pnemonia (spelling?). I also have my prescriptions from the PS. I just need to get them filled. I have also bought some after surgery comfy clothes and have started my list of items to pack, have setup for when I get home, etc. There are 45 more days until my surgery. I'm getting excited because time seems to be going by pretty fast. I'm sure with the holiday's it's really going to go by quickly especially with all of the running around with the kids, holiday parties, etc. Not real nervous yet.
My biggest battle has been trying to figure out what to tell people for why I won't be able to help out at church for Christmas Eve service, and Christmas. I run the soundboard and computer and I need to find a backup for a couple of weeks. They usually make a big deal and pray for anyone having surgery. I don't mind the prayers at all, but I just want it to be low key. I don't want people to know I'm having surgery and I can't lie if they ask. So, that has been the biggest issue so far. Most likely I will tell them I'm having surgery and I really don't want to discuss what it's for. And that I don't want anyone to know about it. They (preacher and wife) on their own, but I don't want people at church to know about it. It's hard keeping this from people, especially people I care about.Updated on 6 Nov 2011:42 days to go and I just had my first weird TT surgery dream last night. I showed up at the outpatient surgery completely unprepared and the PS was upset with me because I didn't have everything ready. I'm glad it was just a dream. Who knows what other ones I will have between now and the surgery. LOL
I can't believe how fast time is moving right now. Of course, with my job and my kids activities, that helps take up all of my time. Getting anxious.Updated on 26 Nov 2011:I can't believe I only have 3 more weeks and it will be the big TT day! I have wanted this for so many years and just never got up the nerve. Feeling like I have tons to get prepared for and so little time, especially with Christmas, New Years, and birthdays (all 3 of my kids in Jan) coming up. I have started working on my lists and have started crossing some items off, but seem to keep adding more to the list. :) Anyway, I'm starting to get very excited!Updated on 6 Dec 2011:12 more days until my TT with MR. I've gotten most of my Christmas shopping completed and wrapped. I've already gotten my bags packed for the 2 night stay at the hotel. At times it seems like time is flying by and other times, time can't go fast enough. I still can't believe I'm doing this. I'm soooo excited. I keep thinking about what I will be able to wear this summer. I won't have to worry about my belly buldging out through my shirts and swimsuits. I'm so ready for the TT day to come. However, I'm still a little worried about something bad happening. I've been praying a lot, so I'm hoping God blesses me with a good TT surgery and that my recovery will be good. I also have been praying for all of you too. I'm so glad for this site.Updated on 13 Dec 2011:Only a few more days and the big day is here. I'm waking up all through the night. I'm even dreaming that I've had the surgery. I'm doing crazy things like climbing mountains (the day of the surgery). The best part was looking down and I was laughing, because I was so happy with the results. I hope that I have the same response in real life.
I'm trying to get everything ready. I've got my recovery area all ready, my bags packed for the surgery and hotel, and lists all done. Christmas shopping is done and presents are wrapped, as well as all 3 of my kids birthdays. All are in early January.
Overall, I think I am ready. I've been struggling with whether or not I should be doing this, but I think I've finally accepted that it's okay and I'm excited. So, it's all good.Updated on 20 Dec 2011:Surgery Day 12/19 - the experience couldn't have gone any better. The staff at the Surgery Center, PS nurse, and PS was awesome. I was very nervous, but I was so happy that I woke up and was on the other side. I had the TAP Block so, my pain level was very low. I went home that day and slept pretty much the entire 1 hour ride home. The rest of the day was pretty blurry. I slept for an hour or so, woke up, and went back to sleep, woke up, etc..
1st Day PO - 12/20. This morning the TAP Block started to wear off, so now I am feeling some burning and a little bit of pain. When I take my percocet, the pain is level is good. However, when they start to wear off, the burning sensation comes back. I've got a lot of gas, so I'm trying to walk, drink plenty of liquids, taking stool softners, and taking my vitamins to hopefully allow me to go #2 and get over this gassy/bloating feeling.
Overall, I'm feeling better than what I expected. At this point I am very glad I had a TT. I still don't know what I look like under the binder and won't know until Friday. I have one drainage tube in. I'm not sure if the drain will come out Friday or not. I'm still draining between 20ml to 10ml every 6 hours. So, that will have to go down in order for it to come out by Friday. I'm taking this one day at a time.
BTW, I would recommend a lift recliner. It has been a Godsend and I'm very glad I have it, it is making getting up and down so much easier.Updated on 22 Dec 2011:3rd day PO 12/22 - I had some nausea this morning due to forgetting to eat with my percocet. I was able to get it under control before throwing up. I still have not gone to the bathroom #2 yet. I'm feeling really gassy. I called the PS and they said to get some senokot, collace, and ducolax. After I did the docolax, I was able to go, but it's still not naturally happening. Overall, today has been the worst, but nothing like what I thought it would be. So, that is good.
4th day PO 12/23. I feel really good today. My incision feels sore, but the pain in my abdomen is almost gone. However, my back is killing me. I've been trying to put my back up against a wall to straighten it out. It feels good when I do that, but as soon as I have to start walking it starts back up again. I've been using a heating pad on and off so that is helping. I have my first PO appointment tomorrow at 11:00am. I'm looking forward to that to see what everything looks like. I'm a little nervous, but excited. I'm not sure if my drain will come out. I'm still draining about 10 ml every 6 hours. I think it has be less than 30ml for an entire day. It would be awesome if it did come out tomorrow, then I could get a shower on 12/24. I'll keep you posted.. Have a good day everyone!