4 Sessions in with Picosure and Feeling Hopeless :(

Hello there, thank you everyone who has shared...

Hello there, thank you everyone who has shared pictures and experiences with their tattoo removal journey. I am a 33 year old female and I got a tattoo that I absolutely hate and it is huge. It covers the entire front of my upper arm, so half sleeve size but only on the front, full color with lots of shading. I was going through a very difficult time in my life and I thought this was something I wanted. I wasn't crazy about the design but I went ahead and started the outline. I hated it, but I hoped once it was shaded and colored it would come together nicely. Wrong. I absolutely hate everything about it and I am feeling such extreme levels of depression and embarrassment, I feel like I completely ruined my skin and appearance and I would do anything to go back in time and just NOT get this tattoo. It took me a few months to gather the courage to tell my husband how I felt, thankfully he is very supportive, he wants me to be happy above all so about 5 months after finishing it I started Picosure removal treatments. There are very few places in my area with this laser and based on my research it seemed like this is the best and newest technology.

The clinic said we can treat the whole arm, and advised it would take at least 6 treatments. After the first treatment, there was a dramatic change, so much of the color faded and disappeared, and some of the lightly shaded spots were erased as if the tattoo was never there so I got very excited. My skin is naturally very very pale so I was told this is in my favor. I did 2 more treatments and saw little to no difference. All my treatments were spaced 8-10 weeks apart. I decided to go for a consultation with another location slightly further away. This is run and treated by an MD who advised me NOT to treat the whole arm, and split it in half and space each half 6 weeks apart, and 3 months between treatments of the same spot. This place cost twice as much as the first place but I went ahead and did a treatment on just the lower half to see if it was any different. In addition to Picosure she also used a Q-switch (I think) on the red color. I definitely see more fading after this treatment than I did with the subsequent treatments at the other place.

However this doctor could not give an estimate on how many treatments I will need so if I am already 4 in, I feel like I could need 15-20 to see complete removal and that is something that I don't think I can handle mentally and financially. I am so embarrassed, depressed and ashamed, I tend to wear long sleeves even though it is summer and extremely hot where I live. I am considering just getting a cover up but the prospect of that not looking good is terrifying. I have other tattoos that I love and I am not against covering it up, I am just feeling hopeless and unsure.

Sorry to rant on for so long, I am too embarrassed to even share a picture but I just needed a place to vent to other people who understand. My husband is very supportive and just wants me to be happy, but he doesn't truly understand how I feel. As of now I don't have any future treatments scheduled, I am just totally unsure what to do from here.
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