Just About Chickened out Right Before my Surgery, but Went for It in the End - Chicago, IL
So yesterday, Dec. 3rd was surgery date. I was...
So yesterday, Dec. 3rd was surgery date. I was sick to my stomach scared all day before surgery and my surgery wasn't scheduled until 3 pm that day so that day was hell too. I was contemplating going through with it or not. All I could think about were all the risks, and how they didn't seem to be worth the chance of a great outcome. I knew this surgery could lead me down a very happy road or a very deep depression and embarrassment depending on the results. But then again, if I didn't do it I would always wonder, and probably end up getting it eventually anyway. Also, I couldn't stand the thought of just accepting my nose forever if I hadn't gone through with it. I don't know if all my second guesses and negativity stemmed from my parents or what. They were not excited about my decision, and made sure I knew EVERY possible scary outcome that could occur. They were so worried for me and didn't want me to be making a mistake, I suppose. Also, it didn't help that I got quite a few text messages the day before surgery saying, "You are a beautiful young lady." Or, "you have a beautiful face and everything fits nicely." Those comments just make it harder for some reason. In the end I just hope they don't think I was more beautiful before surgery, that would really hurt my feelings after going through all of this.
Anyway, I did have the surgery, but was contemplating the decision still just before they put the IV's in me. The doctor was able to calm me down, by talking to me about what he wanted to fix and he was displaying confidence and kindness in which I didn't know if I saw in him before. The nurses were also very reassuring that I would be fine and that they do this about 10-12 times/week in this particular surgery center. I just kept thinking, well thats a lot easier said than done, and they have NO idea whether or not I will be fine 2 months ago. Anyway, I was thinking like Negative Nancy. I only thought about the worst case scenarios. Some how, some way I went through with it.
Right now, 7 hours after surgery, I am super glad I did go through with it. I have no idea what my final outcome will be and whether or not I will be so happy or regretful of this decision, but for now I am happy I went with it. One step at a time, right?
As of right now, I can already breathe much better through my nose than I ever could before! I am not experiencing intense pain except for a half hour after surgery, and there isn't any bruising so far. I am dripping onto my "mustache bandage," but not excessively. If recovery can stay like this I will be a very happy camper. The only thing is that my hands and feet are tingling really bad now preventing me from sleeping; a possible side effect from the general anesthesia. I will probably post some pictures tomorrow, and will continue to keep everyone updated.
Jackson21's provider
Okay So today is my third day post-op. The last...
Today, I have felt 100x better than I have in the past two days, so this is good. For the first time I feel like I actually could be happy with the results. I also, have less fear about facing others as of now. I am not the type to get plastic surgery and be so vain, so this whole process has really taken a toll on me and has got me worried about my priorities. Sorry for being so depressing, but this is how I feel and someone else may feel the same after their surgery. Anyway, I am trying to stay positive since I can't tell the results yet. I hope I LOVE it. Yesterday was so nice, my boyfriend and I took our dog on a walk around 9 at night and the cold air felt really good on my face. We also put up a few Christmas lights and garland along our balcony.
I no longer have to wear the "mustache bandage" since I am not bleeding or dripping anything from my nose. My swelling has peaked and is starting to go down quickly. I did not have any bruising, yet anyway. I have not experienced a sore throat like others on here. The swelling can really make you look pretty unattractive, so I can't wait until it fully subsides.
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Okay, so it is day 4 post op. I still never got...
Anyway, this whole process has been truly taxing and depressing. Everyday I wish I had not gone through with the surgery. I feel embarrassed and weak. I wish I could take it all back. I have not seen the results yet; I get the cast off Tuesday. Maybe in 2 months I may be SO happy and actually glad I did it. I just want to feel normal, quite hiding out, and go on with my life. I guess I am being incredibly impatient, since it is only 4 days since surgery. I just think this whole recovery process is hell. You can't really go anywhere, you look scary, I keep feeling like my nose will collapse or thinking of horror stories. I can't freakin smile. I had a mild allergic reaction to the antibiotic, Clindamycin I was taking(allergic to penicillin as well). I also am concerned the doc went TOO SMALL and that concerns me because I still want to look like me! I should have told him to be conservative with it, but I never did say that. Also, I get anxiety every time I think about facing people who know that I got this as well as friends and family who don't know. I fear people are going to look at me and gasp while putting both hands up to their face saying your nose! I don't think ppl would, but this is what I think about when seeing everyone for the first time. You thought your focus was your nose before, well not like it is now!
I have to try to stay positive, and I mean try REALLY hard. My boyfriend and my cousin give me the best support. They are both so positive about this and try their best to keep my head up. The best thing to do when you start questioning whether you made the right decision or not is to keep your mind off of it. Go walk the dog or play cards or something. Last night was the first night I didn't wake up in a frantic and start stressing out about the crazy decision I made to fix my nose.
Believe it or not, this still could be the best decision I made. I guess I am just so fearful and stressed out of the unknown. Just make sure to consider all of this b4 you go into surgery.
About my Doc, I will rate him once I know the outcome. Surgery took longer than expected so I changed the price. Also, I'll post another pic today after I wash my hair.
Replies (4)
Yay for being brave and going through with it! I hope you love your results! Please do keep us posted!