12 Year Old Implants, Ready to Be Rid of Them, but Still Have Doubts :( - Chicago, IL

Hi ladies,
I am so thankful for this site and everyone's story. I got my saline implants under the muscle 12 years ago, I think they are 280cc that took me from a 32AA to a 34C. I am pear shaped so the implants balance out my figure. I wasn't aware of my flat chest until my first husband began complaining that his ex was better endowed than I was. He would constantly make comments about how unhappy he was with my breasts and even after I divorced him, the insecurity stayed with me. I finally found the money to get implants and got the procedure after meeting a wonderful guy I fell head over heels for, and I was embarrassed to be intimate with him because of my small breasts ***smh*** 3 years after the surgery we had a baby boy and my boobs got even bigger and I began gaining weight when my son was around 3 years old. The marriage was miserable, the guy was very violent and I eventually left him. It's been a few years since I have been in therapy recovering from both marriages and along the way I became a fitness enthusiast, and a vegetarian. I started learning how to be good to my body and my soul, and my life is now better than it's ever been, but these bags do not fit my new life. They get in the way when I'm jogging, they feel funny when I'm lifting weights, and I can't hug people as hard as I want because I'm self-conscious. It's also difficult to think about being intimate with a new guy because again, I am embarrassed of the "fake" breasts. I found this website and after reading other ladies' stories, I decided to go head and get my implants removed. It took me months of looking for my original PS until I found out he's retired :-/ but I found another one who's very experienced and confident. I am having the procedure done with local anesthesia, since going under was one of my fears, and my PS suggested to wait and see if my skin will tighten and bounce back before scheduling a lift, but no matter what my boobies look like, there is no way I'm having another surgery.

I am really anxious because it's less than a week until my procedure and I don't know what to expect and feel afraid that my breasts will shrink to nothingness and I will regret the surgery, but I keep telling myself that it's time for me to accept myself for who I truly am, and that being healthy and fit is more important than conforming to ridiculous beauty standards that the media sells us. I'm so so scared, so nervous, so indecisive that I did not pay for my procedure until the very last minute in case I changed my mind. I'm afraid I'll regret it but I'm ready to be myself again, to be free and comfortable. I haven't had any issues but the implants are uncomfortable and I've lived with them for over a decade. I can't believe what I put my body through, all because I was insecure!!! I need encouragement and good vibes if anyone have some to spare, thank you. And love and blessings to all the ladies whose stories have made me braver. I will post pictures later.

Here are my before pictures, 4 days pre op.

I'm due for surgery in a couple hours and I'm frozen with anxiety, but slept better than I thought I would. I finally told my 9 years old about my implants and he was in disbelief that his momma had PLASTIC SURGERY! But he was a good sport about it, more concerned with my feelings than anything else. I just told him I might look groggy and weird when I come home this afternoon and he shouldn't worry, that was my point in telling him anyway.
I don't know what to expect and in a way that's what makes me nervous, how will I feel afterwards if I will only have local anesthesia and oral sedation? Also, bringing a pillow for the ride home but still dreading it. I went grocery shopping and got some Greek yogurt for the antibiotics and pain meds, I mixed it with agave syrup and fresh cherries. I also made a couple veggie soups and quinoa and kale salad, hopefully to keep things smooth with my digestive system. I didn't want to take laxatives so I got a bottle of prune juice just in case.
I was reading about tuberous breasts and I strongly believe that is my condition, although I was able to breastfeed just fine. This leads me to believe that I will have no breast tissue left, just huge nipples like I had pre BA ???? I purchased a front closing sports bra to ride home in and the size small was a tad loose around the band, what am I supposed to do for support? I guess I will order a post-surgical bra this morning.
Anyway, as you can see my mind is all over the place but part of me is excited to get these things out once and for all. I have been praying for an easy surgery without complications and a safe return home. Thanks everyone for the good wishes, I will post an update. Here are a few more pictures taken this weekend.