I Need Help Guys :( - California, MD

So here' s the thing. My whole life I have been pretty content with my look, Im not one to dwell on the flaws but merely one to make the most and best of everything. Yet, always in the back of my mind; my nose bothered me. I believe its too long, to wide and has a slight hump. I need to get my deviated septum fixed as I just found out that it is the main reason to why my nose is congested at night and the reason I find myself snoring (ew). This will require the breakage of my nose, so the doctor had suggested if I wanted to refine and basically fix my nose as a whole. Im scheduled to do so in two weeks, BUT I AM TERRIFIED YOU GUYS, BEYOND BELIEF. Just thinking about it puts me in a state of non stop hyperventilation. Im scared of undergoing surgery and Im scared of the result. I posted photos of my self and I just want truthful opinions on what you guys think about it! Im open to the full on truth. Thank you. Anyone whos gone through this please tell me surgery is not as bad as it seems :/

Hi guys, So I had my surgery and Im freaking out... My side looks fine but my front omg.. its horrible .. I look like a pig, please tell me itll change over time... Ill six days post op... Ive been crying all day

So guys I was never able to write my experience so far because I was too busy with getting ready for the surgery and then filled with a roller coaster of emotions post surgery. Let me start from the beginning.

Like I said before I am not a fan of my nose but I really wouldn't have the guts to fix it if it weren't for the medical aspect of it. I also believe I broke it when I was 8, I ran into a glass window thinking it was open. But heres the thing, I never had a problem with my nose from the front, from the side, I HATED IT. When I would take photos on social networks, I would never take it from the side, so when I would meet people in person they would always say you look a bit different, and I knew right away it was my nose that changed my face in person, every angel was hideous except the front. Ive gotten a few comments through out my life time, and "big nose" was one of them. So after much deliberation through high school, college, and now graduate school, I said its time to hit two birds with one stone. Time to breathe normally and time to gain some confidence.

I will not enclose the name of my surgeon for my own personal reasons. But just know thats hes an ENT who specializes in face surgery, but Ive seen his work and I loved it, he's also a family friend.

DAY BEFORE SURGERY:
nonchalant about the whole thing; no regrets to back out. When you really want to do something for so long, its like your numb to any emotion because youve thought about it for years so the emotions are played out, as weird as it seems. Dont get me wrong Im not some sort of a cold hearted person, but at this point in my life I was like eh lets just get it over with.

Day of Surgery:

My mom and good friend came with me, I felt like they were more nervous than me! Im just chillin on the recliner waiting for the IV to be put in my hand. Ok now Im going to be honest, I am sensitive to pretty much anything and everything. I was scared for the IV and for being put under. The IV was not as bad as I thought it would be and then later they told me to walk with them to the surgery room, now that was scary to me, I had to walk myself into my own surgery bed with all the lights around me, machines, and what not. I feel like I should be out before going into the surgery room you know? But anyways I was out before I knew it.

When I woke up thats when I felt pain, I felt everything moving, basically out of it, and there was pain, from 1-10 I felt a solid five. As soon as I got some painkillers, I didnt feel a thing. My mom and friend took great care of me, especially my mom. So thankful for her.

Day 1-2:

I did not even move off my recliner, I couldn't breathe through my nose from the packing, but for me, my throat didn't hurt like everyone said, I was able to eat but I really couldn't taste anything. The worst part of it was the sleeping, I had to sleep breathing through my mouth so I woke up every two hrs to dampen my tongue with water because of how dry it got, it literally felt like a piece of wood.

Day 3:

It was time to remove the packing, and I didn't know what to expect, and it was kind of awkward for me, it hurt Im not going to lie, but it was over in seconds. I honestly thought thats the last real pain you have to endure until you get the cast off, but there was one more surprise that I would get later at night. At night I began to feel a big of tingling in my nose, and I promised myself that the last pain killer I would take was the one before the packing removal but I decided to take one more. Immediately I felt nauseous, I had a splitting headache (that was the first headache Ive experienced in my life) and I began having a fever that was working its way up to ER status. I knew throwing up would help but I didn't want to put pressure on my nose, so I tried sleeping it out and next morning I felt fine.

DAY 4-10
No pain really, except when my little sister gave me a hug and hit her head on my nose, that killed. Its more of mental pain, the side is cute, but whats a cute side when I look like an avatar? I hate my front. Im beginning to miss my old face, but I don't want to put that in my head because I don't want to regret this at all. I've had mental breakdowns all week. I was texting one of the girls off real self for advice and she was the cutest thing, she really helped me and told me what I should already know, be patient the front wont look like that for long.. she told me 4 weeks and Ill start adjusting to my new nose! I hope she's right, I really do. i feel so depressed. Tomorrow I get the cast off so Im scared it 'll look worse when I see the whole thing! Pray for my guys :/

btw Ive seen my nose impove over the course of this week, but I dont want just swelling to go down, I want my tip to change, I cant have that tip forever :(