No longer confused.... DiazDoll March 2015!!!!!

Today I am officially 3 weeks. I am now driving but very slow bc of the bumps and moving a little faster. The swelling is no better. Except my Vajayjay isn't swollen anymore. I opted out of my massage lady draining me until a month hits. If I still have fluids by then I will do it. I have gotten smaller and feel a little too natural. I feel l look like a regular girl who just happens to have a flat tummy no fat any where and a plump round little booty. No wow factor. Yesterday my 5 year old son basically said he's embarrassed with the way I look. I look like a old lady bc I walk slow and I'm not all dressed up. I do admit I have been looking a bit "homeless" according to my best friend. I wear a baggy loose shirt and baggy sweats and a big long sweater. I haven't worn real clothes since I got back lol. And I wear flip flops. Well I only go to the massage lady and back home. Did like two store runs but sat down while the family did the running around lol. Anyways yesterday Monday, I wore some leather joggers that was a size medium from Forever 21 that was baggy on me and a dress that's a medium that before I left I tried on in the fitting room and fit nice hiding all my rolls and fit close to my skin. Well the pants fit me now. Not crazy tight tho but the nice kind of fit you can say. Also the dress was so big on me I had to tie the waist part tighter without it looking stupid. I rolled it under to make it a long cute shirt instead. Now I didn't try anything else on bc to put all those clothes on by myself with the faja and padding was a lot of painful work. The bending down, lift my arms over my head to take off clothes put on clothes. Very exhausting. I left it as is and kept it moving. I mention this bc my advice to girls having surgery soon DONT BUY ANY CLOTHES IN PREPARATION FOR YOUR NEW BODY! I was thinking about my butt that I didn't buy bottoms ( except the leather joggers) but I bought dresses like in size medium and large (smh). Now I haven't tried on any size large dresses but I know I will be swimming in it. For starters I'm like oh my butt will be so huge that I won't fit a small or a medium. I totally forgot about the fact that my stomach and waist and back will all be small. He made me back to the size small I was prior to all the weight gain. I totally didn't factor that. And my butt isn't even that big. Wtf was I thinking??!! I have receipts and stuff but I'm not a return to the store type of person so I will be giving away a lot of new clothes. (All my friends are happy). Also I had put in bags old clothes I felt I wouldn't fit. Yea ok once I am about 2 months I will go thru the bags and put it all back up in my closet. What a tragedy lol. It's bc I made myself so sloppy looking and fat gaining weight for this surgery I looked at myself in the mirror daily like yuck I'm so shapeless, un-cute, FAT, big belly rude gal. My best friend wanted to slap me yesterday bc she told me not to buy clothes especially bigger clothes and she told me I was never fat. I always was a slim girl with a belly and muffin top.

Self image is everything to us women but it can be lost in the facade of what we want to really look like verses what is really there. I look at other women and say I want that body but to be honest we are all shaped different and what may look good on her not so you. And after coming back from DR and even going for consultations with Dr's from Columbia and Dr Fisher and Dr Miami a lot of these girls go back several times! Yes 2-3 times. So not the 1st time around you not going to look like your wish pic but you will look a better you. A throwback you even before the weight gain or before the child(ren). I am happy with my results in the sense I am my old self plus with a booty. Now do I want bigger HECK YES! Lol booty greed is real. I wanted an ass you can see from the front lol. Now would that had looked right probably not but still lol. Anyways I put pics up of how I'm healing now. slow process but I'm getting there. Massages hurt like hell still Lord have Mercy smh. Take a pain pill 30 mins before you go for real. I am still not in my stage 2 faja and I feel that why I'm like a stand still with my progress so I'm going to force somebody to do it for me. My stage 1 don't do it for me anymore except those moments in the day I wake up from lying down and I'm swollen like hell. Or when I sleep without on my heating pad while it air dries over night. I spoke to Dr Diaz and he wants me in my stage 2 like since a week ago so we shall see who has the strength to stuff me in there. Thanks for following my journey dolls!!

The spoke to Dr Diaz Easter night and sent him my pics. Also this morning and he really wants me in my stage 2 faja but says it's ok if I get my back drained bc it looks it. He asked me to feel it if it feels like liquid and my pain sensation also if I got massages. He really cares about his patients. I'm still going to get my massage tomorrow however I'm not letting her drain me yet till the lymphatic drain stuff comes in the mail. I can't stand needles. Also I have info about a Dr in Washington Heights that see patients from DR. $100 1st time he sees you and $50 every time after. I might consider going to him for the drainage as long as its not an additional whatever afterwards. Ladies make sure you save about a good $500 for post - op care/needs. In like buying new fajas, getting massages, maybe draining, not being able to go back to work as soon as you thought. I was thinking I can go to work like this Wednesday to make a couple dollars but nah not happening. I need the full three weeks off. I can't even walk up straight yet lol. Tomorrow I have an appt along with a few errands and my massage later. Lord help me lol I put up pics from when I went to go get a massage. Oh and before and after pic. This is just two weeks out. Remember I am inflamed, swollen, and have fluid build up. I will make another before and after in another two weeks. I'm hoping after a change in faja, no fluid build up, X amount of massages I will have improved. Thanks for following my journey dolls :)

I had my 1st massage today. Here in the Bx. $50 for an hour. Basically the 1st 30 mins if a full massage, with the machine that has a frequency you hear in your brain (don't ask just know it happened lol). It was a deep tissue painful painful massage. ALL massages are painful. Let me be clear ALL massages you will get are painful however you will feel better when it's done. Like I was able to get up a little faster. I stood up a little straighter. Not as stiff as before. Just really achy. Then the last 20 mins she wrapped me in an ace bandage that was wet around my black, chest, stomach and then wrapped me in a foil that warmed me up and I fell asleep. Then I woke up and she got me up and dressed. She's very busy so make sure you call before coming. My appt was 1 but she told come back an hour later and still didn't get to me till 2:20. Still wasn't able to get me into my stage 2 size small faja but she said within another week or two I will bc I am very swollen and inflamed and my entire lower back needs to be drained out. I told her no draining out bc that's another $50 or so. Maybe $200 idk but it's nothing I can afford right now. I will try this Lympathic drain cleanser that supposedly helps with that. Take it twice a day and you pee A LOT!! I put a picture up. Ladies post op care after you leave DR is hard. You really must wear your faja 24/7. You will be so uncomfortable, stiff, in pain and extremely swollen. Your vajayjay gets swollen. Feet might still be swollen. Body inflamed hurts when touched smfh. They don't really warm you about this. And this last for a month!! That's the massage lady told me. She see 20 girls a day and after the 4th week the massages aren't as painful. The drainage and swelling down. I am miserable more so then I am happy. I want the days to go by. I take pain meds twice a day and Benadryl before I go to bed for the itching. I drink a lot of water and eat regular. I take bromelin as well. Sigh... One day at a time. I looked at my butt bc it's gone down some and say oh damn I need a round two for real. Then I try to sit down or pick something up or go pee even and it's like why did I do this and hell no I'm not doing this again lol. The motions!! Lol