Biggest Regret of my Life - Victoria, AUS

Not much has changed. The whole side of my right nostril is numb and still buldging out, my nose hasnt straightened up at all. Its not swelling like my surgeon said and i knew it wasnt but he was trying to buy himself some time. The other side of my nose is caved in and i usually shove a bit og cotton or tissue inside my nose to "fill" it out. My nose tip is crooked and my nose tip graft is really obvious and pointy. When there is light shining from above you can see a point sticking out at the end of my nose as if i have a pimple. I may have healthy skin now but i cant imagine when will happen in 10 years time, the graft will probably end up being exposed. My nose bridge is uneven and natural outdoor lighting just shows up every single deformity. I have blood on my tissue every time i blow my nose. I dont have any normal mucus in my nasal passages only dried up green chunks. My nose is always dry and when the weather is cold i feel the air burning my nasal passages. Althought i have come a long way emotionally and have done my best to forgive myself and not let my deformed nose define me, i still struggle everyday. Not a day goes by that i dont pray to look and feel normal again. I took my looks for granted before surgery and didnt realise how good i had it. Trying to find a revision surgeon is like trying to find a needle in a haystack! Even the best surgeons have less than stellar reviews. I completely agree that having rhino is a gamble, no matter how much u research there is a still a chance that ur nose cant even be fixed and look the way you want it too. I dont know what i would do if i had a second surgery and it didnt go well. I am seeing my surgeon again in a couple weeks to get answers, to find out every single detail of what he did to my nose. Im sick of him treating me like a moron who doesnt understand, i dont care how technical he gets with me, i want to know everything. I have done enough research to understand most of the techniques used and if i dont i can research it. I will also be asking for compensation, blowing out blood everyday is a clear sign of a bad surgery. Even though no amount of money could ever make up for the damage done, i would want to get some money back to put towards rescuing my nose if its even at all possible.

I had my 12 month review with my surgeon and all I got were lies. I specifically asked at 6 weeks if anything in my nose tip was cut because I hated how short my nose tip was and his answer was "no" then today he admitted that he did cut my septum and my alarm cartilages!! I saw him at my 3 month post op mark and told him how distressed I was about my nose tip and that I didnt like it, he told me that he could perform a small revision at 12 months and that we could start planning it at 9-12 months. Today he told me he would not suggest doing anything to my nose for another 3 years! What the F*CK! Not that I would ever let him touch my nose again... But honestly where did he pull that time frame from??
I asked him for my surgical notes and told him that I want to know exactly what he did because he didnt discuss any of it at the pre op. he pulls out my file and shows me some drawing he did and told me he discussed everything with me. I know for a fact he didnt! He made out like the procedure was simple and conservative and that he was only going to lift my tip with sutures and not narrow it in to make a point. He sat there and argued with me saying he told me! I am so f*cking angry right now! I would've have never agreed to all the things he did to my nose tip when my nose tip was the thing that didnt bother me at all before surgery, only the hump on my nose! I cannot express in words the anger, sadness and betrayal I feel right now! He talks down to me like I have mental issues or bdd and that I am wrong and he is right. But I have been trying so hard to retrace my steps to figure out where this all went wrong that I know for 100% certainty he didnt give me all the information and did things without my consent because he didnt feel he needed to tell me! It probably wouldve cost him the sale. he was after my hard earned cash that I spent 2 years saving. I would love for him to put himswlf in my position and get someone to operate on his face and just do what they thought was best then he could tell me know he felt about it! If it was any other part of my body I wouldn't be so sensitive about it but it's right in the middle of my face and there is no hiding it. I wish I could honestly crawl under a rock and die. I'm sick of being treated like [RS bleep] by this [RS bleep] lying surgeon who thinks he is god and has not once taken responsibility for his mistakes! He just blames everything on swelling or my septum curving again. even when my septum was a zig zag before surgery my nose didnt look as hideous as it does bow! where was this improvement he was talking to me about?? Nothing about this surgery has been an improvement! I'm sick of looking in the mirror and hate what I see. I'm absolutely traumatised by this whole experience. I have my sisters wedding in a couple months and can't even be a bridesmaid cos I don't want to have any photos taken of me. It's my only sister and it's my first time being asked to be bridesmaid. My heart is so broken that I can't enjoy and function normally anymore.
If I had to do this again knowing what I know I definitely would not have had this surgery done. I probably have permanent nerve damage to the whole right side of my nose cos till this day I can't feel it properly. I have a open room deformity which he masked up with filler which in time will only look worse and more obvious as my already thin skin keeps thinning. All that was wrong with my nose is that it had a bump. Now I have a list of problems. I'm just so utterly sad and there is nothing I can do to fix it :(

but unfortunately its reality. Wish i could go back to the surgeon and return this broken ugly nose he gave me and get my old nose back. If only things worked like that in real life. All that bothered me was a bump and now its been replaced with so many other problems not to mention still being numb and uncomfortable 11 months post op! Will the feeling ever return to normal?
I have been frantically researching revision drs. I dont care where i go or how much i will have to pay, i would go to the ends of the earth to have this nightmare be over and to get a shred of my self confidence back. I have my first consult on the 4th Sept with a plastic surgeon that specialises in rhinoplasty. I need a second opinion on whats going on with my nose. This constant "tension" feeling when i talk, smile and yawn doesnt feel normal. I hope i can get all my questions answered so i can start planning forward.