Just writing this & acknowledging my situation...
Just writing this & acknowledging my situation is difficult. Not sure if these feelings are common amongst other ladies on here thinking about explanting. Tomorrow is my consultation & I'm not excited, happy or looking forward to it. I'm absolutely terrified.
I've had my implants for 13 years. It was a young & dumb decision but it's done & now here I am. I'm 34 with no issues with my implants other than that are bottomed out & I need to explore my options to fix them. They are saline unders....I don't know the exact CC's but I went from a B to a D cup.
I was set on explanting for a while. Then recently I had a mammogram (dr felt a lump which turned out to be my implant valve) The mammogram images show I have no breast tissue left. After breastfeeding 4 kids I have nothing. I'm scared I will be disfigured & concave. I'm praying my doctor will tell me I'm wrong & give me the courage to go ahead with the explant. Could I have tissue hiding somewhere lol ? Probably not but I'm still hoping. I'm not looking for perfection but I don't want to look horrid either. I'd love to be rid of these water bags but at this point I'm not sure. Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow. I'll keep you ladies updated as your courageous posts & pictures are what gave me the strength to even begin this journey.
where is my excitement?
2 days until surgery & I wish I had a little more excitement & a lot less anxiety. I was nothing but excited for my original ba 13 yrs ago. I guess maybe because I was so young & still had the I'm invincible mentality? This time around I'm stressing EVERYTHING. My biggest worry bring how the heck am I not going to lift my 2 year old for 3 months. She's a solid 33lbs and I don't want to risk messing up the pocket repair & bottoming out again.
I had a last minute change of heart over implant type this morning & called my ps to try & change from saline to silicone but I was told it's too late & the implants would have to be ordered. So I guess saline is ment to be for me for now. Spending the additional $3k is not financially in my best interest anyway. Going to try to keep busy today & tomorrow to pass time. The wait is killing me! I'll be so glad when this is over!
Silicone it is!
Well the doctor just called me back & told me he could absolutely get the silicone implants ordered in time for Friday's surgery & he's very pleased I decided to go with silicone as they were his 1st choice given my thin frame & breast tissue. Boy this is a roller coaster ride lol
Well here I am. It's 1:50 am & my surgery is at 7am. My toddler woke up at midnight with a low grade fever. Praying it's just a change of seasons head cold & nothing too serious. Gave her some meds & now she's back to sleep but of course I am not lol. I'm too busy worrying about her & how she'll be when she awakes to find daddy & I aren't here. My mother in law will be staying with my lil ones but being that I'm a stay at home mom it is very rare that I'm not with them. Hope she's ok when I leave in a few hours. I really don't need 1 more thing to worry about. For now I'm going to try & focus on positive thoughts & prayer.
Before pics in clothes/bathing suit
Just some pics to show before in swim tops & tank top...
I am so glad to have my surgery over with. I'm an insanely anxious person by nature & the anticipation was killing me. Now all I have to worry about is that the revision sticks & I don't bottom out again.
Surgery morning went very smooth & I have to say all of the staff at the surgical center was phenomenal. I've had to have surgery before (medical not cosmetic) and I've never had such
remarkable care. The doctor came in & marked me, ten minutes later off I went to sleep. Upon awakening I was in tremendous pain. The doctor was there with me & let me know he had expected this as he had to do extensive pocket repair (I assume because I bottomed out so badly). He was so sweet & held my hand until the nurse brought my husband back. They continued to give me pain & nausea meds until I felt the pain was tolerable for my hour ride home.
He ended up using 275cc sientra silicone gel implants. Which is 100cc's less then my saline ones were. I'll probably be about a 1 cup size smaller (C cup) which is exactly what I was going for.
I've had to take pain meds every 4 hours on the dot now that I'm home. It's 3 am here & sleeping is tough. I took Percocet before falling asleep & got 3 1/2 hours of sleep before waking up in pain. I've been icing which helps.
I can't wait to see them!! He has Saran Wrap looking tape completely covering them- to hold them up until my post op appointment.
That's pretty much all for now. Please disregard any spelling/grammatical errors. These meds definitely give me fuzzy brain lol.
Day 2 post revision bottoming out pocket repair
Today has been about the same as yesterday. The main difference being my pain has now spread to my muscle. I'm thinking maybe because my original implants were placed too low & he had to open the breast pocket higher up so I'd have more upper pole fullness. He also said my muscle was over dissected during my 1st surgery so don't know what if any impact fixing that would have on pain. I'm still in shock at my pain level. I'd give it 8 out of 10 & I think I have a fairly high threshold for pain after 4 natural childbirths but maybe Ive become more of a baby with age? Lol idk.
My 2 year old is sick & it's so hard having to tell her mommy can't hold you :( hubby has been incredible though. And best of all he now gets to experience a few days in the life of this stay at home mom he he he. He works long hours so I try to take care of all chores & kid related things so he doesn't have to do anything when he gets home & can relax on weekends. He now says he has a new found appreciation for what I do & I can't deny it feels good to hear it lol.
Other then that not much to report. Everything is still wrapped up tight & looking pretty smushed so I have no clue what they'll actually look like. They don't seem to be too swollen at this point. All this pain better be worth something though. Praying for good results & no complications.
Just for a laugh
To lighten the mood after all the whining in my last post
Actually got 6 straight hours of much needed sleep last night. So far today my pain is a little better. Aside from typical achy pain I'm having a lot of burning pain on & around my ribs. Can't wait to see my ps to see what exactly he had do to fix my bottoming out that caused all this pain.
With my hubby's help I took a shower today. I'm still wrapped up tight in the plastic cling type contraption they put on me but I did steal a peek & a pic when I showered. It's hard to get any idea of what the actual results will be because they are so squished down in the wrap. I can tell you they are A LOT smaller!!! Not complaining as that's what I asked for (perky & keeping them from bottoming out again took priority over size) but it still will take some getting used to.
I can't wait to have them unwrapped so I can get a good feel & see if there really is a big difference between saline & silicone. But at the same time I'm scared to have them unwrapped for fear they will fall back too low. You can see by the markings the dr made before surgery of where the bottom of my breast sat- they actually sit about 2 inches higher now then they did.
Well that's all for now. Hopefully this all makes sense as I'm feeling very tired & out of it from all the meds. Here's a few pics for comparison.
Post op appt
Saw my PS today & got confirmation on how extensive the internal repair work he did was. He said had to put three rows of sutures deep into my ribs on both sides. My skin in the lower pole was so stretched out from the bottoming out he had to cut a good amount of it off and then pull the skin really tight to get my nipples in the right position & suture it together at my breast crease. He said unfortunately he knew I'd be in excruciating pain & tho the pain will ease up a little it will take 4-6 before I feel good. He told me I need to be patient with he healing process. He tacked my breast up extra high knowing that they will drop some over time but by over tacking them hopefully they won't drop too much. Also the "puckering "in my inframammary fold should go away overtime & look more natural. So I have a long road ahead of me.
He also stressed the importance of a good support post op bra In order to let the internal sutures heal with out pressure on them I have a good surgical bra but I'm freaking out because I don't know that it's "good" support. My breasts are so small & so high up it doesn't feel like there's much to support. It's not like they can be pushed up. Any bra suggestions? I included a pic of the bra I have- does it look supportive? Lol I don't know.
Also the implants I had were saline 300cc
New implants are sientra 235cc mod profile
One more thing
As far as restrictions he told me to do as little as I can possibly do. Absolutely no lifting can't lift arms above shoulders no driving... So pretty much do nothing. This is going to be so hard with my kids but I'm going to do my best. I DO NOT want this to all be for nothing.
First day alone!
Well today is my 1st day alone with my 2 year old. Getting the older kids to the bus stop was a little challenging. My 2 year old wanted me to carry her at 1 point & when I couldn't she decided to sit down on the ground & refused to move. After about 5 minutes of coaxing she gave up her protest & walked & things were smooth sailing from there lol.
My pain has definitely improved a bit. Sleeping is still hard. I only get about 2 hours at a time before waking up to try & get comfortable again.
I'm really struggling with some of the restrictions. There are something's that I do on auto pilot & realize after the fact that I shouldn't have done it. It's mostly stuff that involves lifting my arms.
Everything looks about the same to me. I think my right side has catching up to do as the shape is not as good as my left. It could be they way the dr has my incision & my inframammary fold taped tho.
10 more days & my stitches come out. I can't wait. I'm hoping it will take some of my incision pain away. They are really bothering me. Having to wear a bra 24/7 makes it worse. That's all for now :)
Not much to report. Things are pretty much the same. One thing I've noticed is one of my breast doesn't seem to be facing as straight forward as the other. Looking at the pic it's the one on the left. Ps still has inframammary folds taped though so idk if one is taped a little different & that's causing it or if it just needs more healing time. I also feel that the same breast is slightly smaller but hubby doesn't see it & thinks it's just me. What do you ladies think? Do you see a size difference or how they are not both facing in the same direction?
Granted I know better then to expect them to be perfect. They were an absolute mess to begin with & my ps told me getting my nipples to sit even on my breast & making sure 1 wasn't pointing up towards the ceiling while the other pointed down towards the floor was a job in itself so I'm grateful that he managed to do what he did.
Just a quick update. So far this surgery emotionally has been a roller coaster. So if anyone reading this feels the same way you're not alone!! I was upset I had to have this surgery in the 1st place as my 1st choice was to be implant free. Hearing how flat & disfigured I'd be (which I knew in my gut) swayed me into getting the revision with much smaller implants but I still was never really thrilled about it. Today as I was looking at the endless boob pics on my phone (I take a few pics everyday to see how they're changing) & comparing my before pics to my pics now I for the 1st time feel 100% pleased with how things turned out. My dr was given a mess to fix. I've had 4 children & breast fed everyone of them. My boobs have been through a lot lol He did a great job listening to what I wanted & giving me small perky more natural looking breasts. Still crossing my fingers that the internal sutures hold & they stay where they're supposed to be. But all in all I'm very happy with where I'm at.
Just some more photos. Aside from the support & encouragement I get from the lovely ladies on this site, it also helps me to track my progress. So here are a few blurry & crooked pics from this morning....taking photos without lifting your arms is challenging lol.
Post op appt
Had my 2nd post op appt today & everything went smooth. I had my stitches removed which was surprisingly easy. My PS is happy with my progress & doesn't anticipate my breasts will drop any further (something I was worried about). He did tape them up again & wants me to continue wearing my post op bra. I'm still in enough pain that I have to take Percocet 2-3 times a day to be comfortable. My pain is mainly in my ribs where he did all the stitching. I also get intermittent pain in my muscle & around my armpit. As I've said before the pain is far worse then I'd ever imagined it would be but in the words of my plastic surgeon I was a unique case that needed an extreme amount of internal repair work. So if you're reading this & thinking about having a pocket repair revision please don't let my review scare you out of doing it. so far I'm extremely happy with my results!! I didn't include any pics because everything looks the same as my last post.