I am a young, energetic mother of two breastfed...
I am a young, energetic mother of two breastfed babies who has never been big bosomed by any means. Before having my children I was a 33A/B depending on where I bought my bra from which was totally acceptable to me. I could always buy a padded bra with a little push up effect and attain some cleavage and be totally happy with the allusion of curves. While I was nursing my children I was a full C or nearly D cup, depending on how engorged with milk I was =O That was fun!!!. After nursing them (my son is now 3yrs old and my daughter will be 1 in November) I am a 33AAAAA. (insert tears) I can't wear dresses or bathing suits without stuffing it so that it fits me right and I feel...for lack of a better word, unfeminine. I don't feel like myself and am uncomfortable in my own skin. I know that I don't "need" large breasts to feel feminine, but I need something. As women we are supposed to inherently have these.....and I don't, not even a handful. I don't feel sexy or womanly at all and I am ready to make a change. I am doing this for me and for me only. I just want to feel confident in my own skin and simply be able to wear a swim suit or a nice dress with our feeling like a little boy wearing women's clothing. I want my womanly figure back and thats that. I'm looking for a very natural look. I currently stuff my bra anytime I go out of the house, especially when I am working. My hopes are that after I have my BA and no longer am stuffing my bra no one will even notice the change in me and it will be like they were mine all along. =)
These are my stats so that other ladies out there who might be similar to me or want similar outcomes can have something to compare it to.
I am 5'8", 125lbs, thin and athletic (these before pics make me look really skinny but because I've lost so much fat and breast tissue volume it makes me look scary...=( I'm also ready to lose that look.)
My BWD is 12cm and my PS and I came to an agreement on 300cc Mentor Moderate plus profile unders, silicone gel implants. (I was originally going with 250cc but he wasn't comfortable going any smaller than 325cc, I said I would do 275cc and he was still not comfortable with that size but agreed. He said my breast pocket was too big for an small implant like that and it would move around. He had me thinking a lot about what he said in terms of the "right fit" so I went back a few times and played around with sizers and actual implants and landed on the 300's. He seemed much more comfortable with that selection and assured me that I would be happy with the result and that it would fit my body and be perfect for my BWD. I am a type A personality and have trouble letting go and allowing other ppl to be in control but I understand that he IS the professional in this dep and I just need to trust his judgement. I told him I didn't want to look fake and I wanted a natural look and showed him some wish pics and he assured me we were on the same page.) Man, I wish there was an exact since to this!
These are some before pics and then I'll upload some rice size pics and wish pics soon.
trying out the rice sizer test
I was back and forth with the rice sizer test for a while. I finally landed on/a little over 300cc's worth. I have been wearing them in my nursing bra's for a while now. I'm hoping that after my surgery no one will be able to tell the difference and it will look like that I've had all along....except now when they bump into me it won't feel like i have rocks in my bra =P
Here are some of my wish pics. They're a little on the bigger side of where I want to be but I definitely don't want the look of two tennis balls under my chest. =[ I'm okay with being a little smaller than these pics but definitely not any bigger =O
Rice test pics
Rice size test with 275cc+ 34C padded bra.
It's the finaaal COUNTDOWN!
T -4 days until my surgery!!! =O
I can't believe it's really happening. So many emotions going on over here. I stared at myself in the mirror last night with just a tank top on in my PJ's being grateful for my body and trying not to feel bad about wanting something more than what motherhood has left me with. I'm ready to trade my girlish figure in but at the same time afraid of the outcome.
I wanted to ask you ladies who have had a BA, was there anything pod surgery that you couldn't live without while recovering? Certain foods? Healing creams? Pillows? Anything a girl might need but can't get out of the house to get (because she's home with an almost 3yr old and 10 month old. Thanks in advance!! I'm so excited and scared at the same time!
Post op 4 hrs!!!
22 Sep 2015
Day of treatment
I had to share 1 pic of the twins. More to come later when I'm not delirious and feeling better :)
Day 1 pet opp
22 Sep 2015
Day of treatment
More pics. Sorry. It's a little dark :/
Post op question
22 Sep 2015
Day of treatment
As I'm icing my girls and pressing down on them I can feel them gargling a bit and they even made a (for lack of a better word) darting noise :[ Is this normal? It seems like trapped air. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, does it eventually go away? Thanks in advance!!
Post oPP day 1
22 Sep 2015
Day of treatment
Last day 1 pics. Feein a bit better. More pain in my ribs than anywhere else.
1 day post opp band off
Went to see my PS today, one day post opp. He took off the band and gave me some instructions on exercises I am to do 3 times a day to quicken my recovery and minimize my odds of capsular contracture. I will update again at my 1 week mark :)
5 days post opp
Here's one pic of me yesterday in a tank top with those "modesty cups" (nipple shields :P ) from yesterday. I'll update again after my 1 week follow up with my doc tomorrow.
My incisions have been really bothering me lately. Is there anything I can put on them to alleviate the itching and discomfort? My doctor has advised me not to wear a bra for the first three months and I had to beg him to let me wear a camisole with the built-in bra. I just feel like they need to be squished and supported right now but not all the time. Why are there so many different techniques to recovery? It's so confusing. I'm finally starting to feel like myself today. I keep catching myself massaging my boobs in public. LOL. I don't even know I'm doing it I just feel so good. Hahahaha.
I've been getting is pangs of pain in my chest near my sternum on The underside of my implants. I mostly get it only when I'm doing the stretches that push them together but it hurts a lot. I hope this is all normal and they will be squishy and start to have more qualities of natural boobies. I am so impatient, this is gonna be a long recovery process and I need to keep reminding myself that I will not see results over night. They obviously look a little dumb and fake right now (don't mind my old nasty bathing suit top and white ass skin) and I know (hope) hey won't look like this forever.
1 week follow up
So I just had my 1 week follow up with my PS and he is very pleased with my healing so far. He was super encouraging and told me all the sensations I was feeling would lessen over time as I heal. He told me it was fine to wear sports bras or anything that "supports" my boobies but nothing that pushes my girls up. Durrrr ;P With that being said I stopped at Walmart on my way home and got a couple really simple and comfy Demi bras.
Here are my incision pics 1 week after surgery. They're a little lumpy when I touch them but my PS said that was the internal stitches and they will dissolve over time. I've been putting the silicone strips over them when I go out of the house and have to put a bra on, otherwise I've been letting the air at them. The strips are sort of giving me a rash :/
10 Days post opp
Just some comparison pics. 10 days post opp
Tear. I know they will go away naturally but it's still annoying. They're really tender too. Why does this happen anyway? Any one know or experience it?
2 weeks post opp!! :)
Just adding some 2 weeks pics. Don't mind the bio oil all over me ;) I think it's really helping with massage and loosening everything up. With two babies it's hard to make time to just sit and massage your boobs =P
In pain and upset :(
So my right inside breast is really bothering me and it has a different shape to it than my left. I understand that sometimes you can see the implant (like on the outer edge) but does this happen often to the inside of the implant? And why the pain? It's deep too, like into my chest. It almost looks like a bump or a pulled/strained muscle...and then there's sort of a divot that points out from what should be the round edge of the implant. Seeing the doc on Monday. I just hope it's something that isn't bad and I can feel better about. Trying not to think about it too much.
3 week Follow up
I just wanted to updat you ladies on my news from the doc in regards to my pain and funky shape of my implant.
He said that I may have been a little too aggressive when massaging and or stretching. I told him I started only massaging two times a day and started wearing bras (the kind that compress rather than support...I should say "lift" up) He said that was fine and he was going to give me the okay to wear whatever kind of bra I liked as Lon as it didn't push them up like a push up bra would. That to him they look great and are dropping well and that it can and usually does take up to a year for the imants to heal and form more naturally into my pocket. He understands that I have two young children and that is why I am probably experiencing some pain on my right (dominant) breast.
I'm glad he thinks it's not a rupture or anything. I just really wish this heavy hurt in my chest would go away :/
3 week pics
Just some pics from yesterday. Trying to blog my progression. I was going to take a before shower and after shower pic but I didn't have much hot water so the shower was short and not so hot. Haha. Oh well.
Almost 4 weeks post opp
Hey ladies. Feeling pretty good over here. I still have some pain in my right chest muscle whenever I use my right hand to push myself off the ground or try and support myself in that way...so I just try not to do that ;P It's hard tho. When I stretch to reach things I don't stretch with my arms and chest I just stand on my tip toes...but this is getting less stiff as well. They're starting to move a little bit but are still pretty solid on my chest. Here are some pics from after a hot shower and some bio oil.
13 Nov 2015
2 months post
First of all, let me just say that I am very happy with my results. And I am so grateful to finally have something on my chest. But I am anxiously awaiting the symmetry of my breasts. My right breast is much squish year than my left but my left breast has a nicer shape to it. I know that the squishiness will get better with time, I'm just afraid that my right breast won't ever have the round shape that it should. On my right breast near my incision there seems to be a lumpiness and non-circular shape. I can also feel the love the incisions under my skin still. Is this normal? When will my incisions completely dissolve into my body? Also, my incisions seem more purple now than ever. Will they get lighter? Sigh.
3 months post opp(a little more)
Hey ladies. Sorry I haven't really been updating much. I'm getting frustrated with my right breast. Near the scar tissue the skin is still tight (my PS said with time it will loosen up and the implant will fall more uniformly into place, making it more round.) making my right under boob weird shaped...not round :( They look great in a bra but I'm still self conscious about what the look like when I'm naked. This is frustrating to me. I am trying to keep telling myself they're still new and I'm still healing and that I need not "worry" until I've been with my girls for at least a year. My left one is still sitting a little higher than the right too...but at least that one is round!! Happy thoughts, healthy thoughts, healing thoughts...oooom...deep breaths
Square boob (no improvement) vent ????????????????
It's been 5 months or so. Healing great except my left is still (depending on the light you can tell more/less) a lot higher than my right which is fine. I'm starting to think my right is getting too low. And my right is weird and squarish at the bottom. When I flex I can see something under my skin that's tighter than the left side when I flex and it's affecting how my right boob looks when it's resting. UuuuGGGGHHHH! I know everything is better now than t was before but it's still frustrating to pay all this money for something to not turn out the way you had invisioned. :'(
6 month scars and laying side view
I keep forgetting to upload pics of my scars and my husband was home so I had him take a few pics. It's way eaiser when you have a photographer ;)
24 Mar 2016
6 months post
I think my right breast is bottoming out. My scar is more visible on my right side and the overall height and shape is all wrong. My PS keeps dismissing my concerns and I'm getting upset. I'm settling here....not happy. What should I do? Go for a revision with the same doctor and risk being unhappy again or look for another doctor and pay out the a$$? I'm so upset.
13 month update. I think they're starting to even out a bit. Still a little tight but oh well.
I wish they weren't so far apart. And my left is definitely higher (profile) than my right. :( Maybe if I got larger cc's they would be closer together?