Kathleen is a 78-year-old woman living in Rhode Island. A few weeks after her most recent birthday, she had a neck and facelift and is thrilled with her experience. Below is her story, as told to Sarah DiMuro and edited for length and clarity.
Getting older is a gift. At 78, I’m lucky to have good health, an active law career, two daughters, four grandchildren, and a husband I adore (albeit one who still struggles, after 50-plus years of marriage, with putting down the toilet seat). And while I am grateful for all that I have, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to change something about the way you look, particularly if it’s affecting how you feel about yourself.
My concern with my sagging skin began about 15 years ago. I was in my early 60s, and it was becoming more apparent that my mother’s turkey neck was getting passed down to me. I started to position myself in photos so the loosening wasn’t obvious, casually placing a hand under my chin to block the hanging skin that had also plagued my mother and her sisters.
In my mid-60s, I toyed with the idea of plastic surgery and even made an appointment with a prominent doctor close to our Rhode Island home. But the hefty price tag seemed to just be an overpriced investment in my vanity—not to mention that she was advising a full overhaul of my face.
“But I am fine with the lines and wrinkles, and I don’t care about the skin above my eyes. It’s just this neck skin that is bothering me,” I assured her.
She shot me an incredulous look, questioning how I could possibly be okay with the years of sun damage and the forehead lines.
I left her office and treated myself to some turtlenecks at the T.J.Maxx down the street. If Diane Keaton had embraced aging with turtlenecks, then so could I.
But as the years went on, I found myself avoiding mirrors more and more, and I felt less excited after my regular trips to the hairdresser. Another gift of getting older was that weight had been creeping on at a steadier pace. I thought that if I lost some of this weight I would feel better. I dedicated myself to eating healthier and even invested in a weight-loss regimen. I shed more than 30 pounds and started to feel like my younger self again. However, that weight loss also made the skin on my face sag even further. I couldn’t even see my jawline anymore.
A dear friend of mine had had her neck done a few years back, and she looked great. I contacted the doctor she had gone to, [Wellesley, Massachusetts, board-certified facial plastic surgeon] Dr. Jeannie Chung, and made an appointment.
Unlike the doctor I had visited a few years back, Dr. Chung and her practice manager took the time to discuss all the options, listening to what I wanted and not trying to push any procedures on me. She also alleviated my concerns that at 78, I was too old to be considering surgery.
“In general, I don’t think it is ever ‘too late’ to get plastic surgery, as long as the patient is healthy and has realistic expectations. Plastic surgery does not have to be an all-encompassing surgical makeover,” Dr. Chung explained.
We decided that, for me, the best procedure would be a neck lift and facelift. I left her office that day excited for the next steps.
My daughter flew in the day before the procedure, as we’d both agreed this would be a lot for my husband to handle on his own. He supported my decision to go through with surgery but was also terrified about my being under anesthesia for a six- to seven-hour procedure. That night, we all drove to a hotel right by the hospital. The plan was for us to stay there for three nights, to make the drive to Dr. Chung’s office for the drain removal more tolerable.
The morning of the surgery, I took a look at my face one last time in the hotel mirror and knew I wanted to do this. I wasn’t looking for perfection by any means; I just wanted to see a bit more of the woman I used to be.
Once we arrived at the hospital, reality crept in—and so did a bit of fear. I’m 78, what the hell am I doing? Luckily, my daughter was there.
“Mom, you always do everything for everyone else. You are doing something for you, and we are all thrilled for you!” she said.
I hugged her and my husband, then they wheeled me into the operating room. The next thing I knew, I was waking up and feeling totally out of it. I tried to mouth the words “don’t let my husband in yet, just my daughter,” but the nurses didn’t understand. Once my husband saw me, his eyes welled up and he almost fainted. The big bandage around my head, the slurring of my words from the anesthesia, and the swelling were, as I expected, extremely overwhelming for him.
Once we got back to the hotel, I crawled into bed and the real work began. I am without a doubt the worst patient and did not make it easy for my daughter as she reminded me to take my medication and adjusted the pillows around my head. I also didn’t feel or sound like myself. My voice was very hoarse from the breathing tube that had been inserted for the seven-hour surgery, making it hard to talk. Those first few nights were rough, mainly because I couldn’t get comfortable and so desperately wanted to take a shower and wash my hair.
After photo was taken 6.5 weeks post-surgery
A few days later, once the drains came out and we were back at home, I started to feel more human again. I looked at myself in the mirror and was thrilled with what I saw. The neck wobble was gone. I still didn’t quite look like myself and knew that it would take several months before the final results would be evident, but I also knew that I had made the right decision. By day seven, the first batch of stitches came out and I was cleared to drive. I even popped into my law office to chat with my secretary and meet a client, both of them very impressed with how well I was healing.
It’s been almost two months since my procedure, and I don’t feel like I look any younger—I just feel happier with who I see. I’m still healing, and each day I notice more movement and feeling coming back in my face and neck. And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Do I wish I had done it sooner? Sure. But I did it at 78, and I learned firsthand that when it comes to feeling and looking great, it’s never too late.
