I've got my surgery date set for March 22nd! I'm super excited. I was having troubles deciding between 285 implants and 305. I decided on 305 because the base is just a bit wider and I think it's going to suit my body well. Hoping I land somewhere around a 32D with these implants. What do you guys think?
Updated on 18 Feb 2021:
Thanks to another wonderful person who shared a review, I discovered this app. Attached are pics for mod and high profile. I think I like the Mod more. I’m sure they’re not going to look that perfect, but I like this app!
Updated on 11 Mar 2021:
I love this Natrelle app! It really is helping me visualize what it might look like. What are your guys thoughts?
Side note: I am seriously so nervous for my surgery. Like I’m excited, but I’m so so nervous. Looking for some words of wisdom to help me calm down lol. I’m mostly nervous about the general anesthetic. I know I’ll probably be okay, but I’m so so scared of being put under.. and not waking up... please tell me I’m not the only one who feels/has felt this way! I’m so excited for my boobs though!
Updated on 17 Mar 2021:
Which one do you guys think look best. My surgery is in 5 days and I need to pick LOL. The first 3 are 375 and the last 3 are 304. Help!
Updated on 21 Mar 2021:
I’m feeling nervous and excited all at once. I’m 90% sure I’m going 375. But I’ll speak with the surgeon tomorrow morning just to confirm I’m going to get the results I’m looking for. Some pre op pics for reference. I am mostly nervous about the general anesthesia, choosing the right size, and the recovery. I can literally only take Tylenol because I’m allergic to everything else that’s good hahaha. I’m in Canada where cannabis is legal, so I’ll likely have some gummies to keep the pain at bay. I think I was having cold feet because I don’t particularly hate my breast, I actually think their shape is nice, and the size is kind of cute. But I do want bigger boobs in my life. I’ll post an update when it’s all done tomorrow!!
Updated on 22 Mar 2021:
That’s it y’all I have boobs now.
I am definitely feeling super sore. When I woke up, I wasn’t that disoriented. And the surgery itself was very short. Total time 50min.
My chest feels sooooo tight. Any movement definitely hurts. But also not moving hurts haha. My arms up to my writs are also surprisingly sore. They feel super big right now. I hope that they don’t stay this big lol. I can for sure feel my incision on my right more than my left. And I’m for sure anticipating that my pain will increase over the next couple of days. I’ll keep you guys posted.
Updated on 22 Mar 2021:
Thought I’d post some pics. I feel so swollen.
Updated on 23 Mar 2021:
I don’t think people really talk about this that much on this app. There’s definitely an emotional side to this recovery. Did I make a mistake? Should I have gone smaller? Did I ruin my body?
Plastic surgery is a big change and it can be really stressful to go through that change. I know I’ve wanted a BA since I was like 16 because I’ve always been curvy in the hips and I wanted to be more balanced, but I feel like woman’s bodies are constantly going in and out of style. The 90’s was twiggy, then bodies like Kim are in style, and now I feel like small boobs are “back in style”. It’s so horrible that woman’s bodies are trends lol. I am just trying to be firm in what I wanted. I hope I didn’t make the wrong decision.
Another thing is I’ve always been a modest person in my clothing, I’ve never really been one to show things off. I dunno, maybe it’s because I think a lot of men are disgusting because they sexualize us so much. And then there’s all this stuff about how most women end up being assaulted, is this going to make that worse? I’m just such a feminist. I dunno. Maybe it’s just the meds, but I hope I don’t feel this way later.
Updated on 24 Mar 2021:
Today definitely feels like the worst day, movement wise, feeling wise. I’m really groggy and nauseous, I have a ton of brain fog and a ton of heart burn. I’m wondering if it’s the antibiotics. I finally had a small BM today, which made me feel better. As you can see, the bloating is unreal lol, and I’ve got a serious uniboob going. Which they told me that’s normal. Hopefully all this discomfort subsides. But looks wise I’m not unhappy! Which is relieving. I am still worried that I went too big. But I’m not feeling that regret when I see them anymore which is nice. The bruising is definitely starting. I only woke up once last night which was also nice. Had to eat a cannabis gummy to help me get back to sleep. Hopefully today’s the worst, and the rest of the days will be easier.
Updated on 25 Mar 2021:
I saw this chart on another review, talking about the straight up emotional rollercoaster you go through in this process. I hate to say it, but almost the second I woke up, I regretted it. I was ready to cry. I talked myself down and said it’s just the anesthesia, and I thought this feeling would pass.
As the days have gone on, the feeling of regret hasn’t gone away. Not so much on getting my boobs done, but that I’ve gone too big. I like to work out, I like to dress modestly, I really didn’t want super big boobs from this. I wanted bigger, but I didn’t want this big. Before I was a small B and couldn’t fill out the cup, and I used to always wear padded VS bras, so I was hoping to get somewhere around what I’m used to seeing my body as with the padding, about 34/35 inches round my bust with all the padding. Right now I’m measuring at 37 inches and I burst into tears. When I was speaking with the nurse during sizing consults, I kept feeling like she wasn’t listening. The only options I was given was really 285/304 and 375 and no where in the middle. I just feel like I should have had an option somewhere in the middle.
I kept leaving there feeling frustrated. I shouldn’t have not said anything because this feels like a really expensive mistake. I like my butt being the main feature of my body, and I feel like I took that away from myself. I know, the worst case scenario is I just do a revision and get the smaller one, but not without another 10k that I need to drop. These feelings will likely pass, but I think it’s important to talk about this emotional stuff because if I saw a review out there with it, maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone.
Anyways. I attached some photos of today’s progress. The swelling has started to go down a tiny bit, but the swelling need to go down a lot more for me to even remotely feel happy. Someone please tell me they won’t be this big, and this is just swelling, and these feelings will pass.
Updated on 26 Mar 2021:
Ok, so I’m feeling a tiny bit better today emotion wise, I’ve kind of talked myself through the worst case scenario, which is: if I hate them by the time they settle, I’ll just go swap them out for a smaller size. That has made me feel a bit better.
I’m feeling physically a lot better, still a bit of brain fog, still a little groggy, but last night was the first night I was able to sleep through the night THANK GOD. I still hate sleeping on that stupid incline, but I know it’s important. My arm movements have been getting less strenuous. This bra is so fricken uncomfortable. I was able to wash my hair, with the help of the hubs just to be safe that I’m not straining anything.
Right nipple, totally numb. Left nipple, super sensitive. Numbness on both boobs is present. They’re starting to get super itchy, which is a good sign? Healing? I’ve been starting to have some sharp and zinging pains randomly.
Anyways. They still feel huge. They’re still super tight and it’s mostly just discomfort now and no longer pain. They’re still swollen, of course. They still don’t feel like they belong to my body. And I’m still unhappy with how big they are.... hopefully I’ll learn to love my new boobs.
Updated on 1 Apr 2021:
TL;DR: I have Post Op Depression, I am crippled with fear of BII, and I am deciding if I want to remove my implants.
Since I last posted, I went into a deep spiral. I was crying all day, every day, so riddled with guilt for going through with this. Beating myself up because I was doubting it before my surgery, upset that I didn't listen to myself. The reality is, I didn't dislike my body before. I actually loved my body. I just wanted bigger boobs. So I did my research, and pursued to complete my 12 year dream of getting a BA.
As you guys know, I haven't been very happy since my surgery. And in the midst of me feeling unwell during recovery, I took a straight up deep dive into BII internet. Oh, how that messed with my psyche, to the point that I could no longer regulate my own emotions. I could literally not stop crying, and when I stopped crying, I'd be sad, and then it would just be a vicious cycle of me beating myself up for putting toxic silicone bags into my body. I could no longer rationally think my way out of it, just plagued with fear and guilt. I, and like many others, value my health so much. I only have one body and I want to take care of it.
So a lot of the thoughts and questions that went through my mind were;
- Why have I done this to myself?
- Why did I stretch out and ruin by beautiful small perky breasts?
- How could I have put these toxic bags into me this will make me sick in time?
- I want to get them tf out of me now.
- I can't go back to my surgeon because he's going to think I'm crazy.
- Even if he does explant, will he do a capsulectomy? Does he even know how to properly without cutting away all of my natural tissue? Will he leave me deformed? How painful will this surgery be?
- If I remove them sooner rather than later is there less risk of my capsules becoming thick enough that he has to hack at the rest of my chest? If I remove them sooner, is there a better chance my skin will recovery nicely? So I feel like I'm up against a time limit.
- Will it leave me deformed?
- Can they reattach the muscle to my chest wall?
- Are they going to be droopy bags of skin?
- I want to love them, but I'm paralyzed by the fear they're going to make me sick. And if I wait a few years down the line, and then I remove them, will they have been so stretched out that they're going to be horrible?
- If I do get BII symptoms, will removing them even make me feel better, will it even resolve it for me? Because it doesn't resolve it for every woman.
My husband could see me deteriorating and was really worried for me. I hadn't slept a full night since the surgery. Hysterically crying all the time, couldn't focus on work (I work from home). Just a total fricken mess. Anyways, yesterday I went to my family doctor who's the sweetest woman ever, and told her what was going on. She told me if I wanted them out, she would message my PS and tell him let's get them out of her right away, but she told me it's best for my to wait at least 2 weeks and if I can to 6 weeks. Prescribed me some anxiety meds, diagnosed me with post-op depression, and sent me on my way. Today, I can finally not hysterically cry every few minutes, but I am now able to calmly process my grief and guilt. She told me to take some time to decide if I want to remove them, but she said she'd support me with whatever decision I make.
Now I feel like I've got a lot of soul searching to do... maybe some of you ladies on here can help me. Thank you (heart emoji) wouldn’t let me do it.
(also posted some pics of the progress, again they still feel huge, and I bought a way better bra, screw my surgeon for putting me in an underwire bra, 10000% that exasperated my anxiety and pain)
Updated on 20 Apr 2021:
I just had my first post op today. My doctor waits until 4 weeks to meet. So let me give you the full update.
- It’s been a rocky road for me. Surgery took a way bigger toll on me physically, emotionally, and mentally, then I thought it would. I have to say, I am feeling so much better in all 3 of those aspects now. My energy levels are coming back to normal (took longer for me than other reviews I read). My discomfort levels have gone down a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I am still swelling at times and I do feel breast pain and discomfort still, but no where near as much as the first couple weeks.
- Left nipple is super sensitive to the touch, and right nipple is starting to gain a tiny bit of feeling back. I get those zingers everyone talks about every few hours. The underside of my right breast is still a bit numb.
- As for my fears of BII, the only thing I can do is just monitor my health, and if I start to feel not well, I can always get them removed by a doctor who specializes in it. I really hope it doesn’t have it. My doc kind of brushed it off saying we have no real evidence and it doesn’t make sense to him, but I still think it’s a possibility and more common than we realize. After all, womens health is so ignored and all scientific discoveries around health start with anecdotal experiences.
- I’ve had the chance to meet with my psychologist and talk through some of my worries and anxieties. She said that I can value my health and at the same time do what’s right for me in terms of cosmetic surgery, so she helped me work through that. Another weird thing I’ve been feeling is I don’t want the judgement from people.
- I haven’t told anyone in my life except for the close few, and I don’t really want anyone to know yet. I feel like people can be so judgy, and this is weird coming from someone who usually doesn’t care what others think. It’s my body, and my life and I get to decide. I find it funny that the “body positive” community excludes full female body autonomy. They don’t support you making changes that are for you and shame you, how is that body positive? Anyways. Just some things going through my mind. I will only tell people when I’m ready too. And in the mean time, baggy sweaters are my best friend lol. My husband bugs me, he’s like “show them off” and I’m just not ready yet. I am sure when I’ve mentally adjusted to them more, I’ll feel a bit better.
- I still so feel like they’re too big. After a few measurements and using abrathatfits.org I found out I’m at 32DD which is just bigger than I wanted. I wanted to be like a full C small D. So I’m still wondering if I should have done the 304. My doc said I might feel this way because they’re still up high a bit and when they settle that I’ll likely be happier. He said the 71cc isn’t that big of a difference. I dunno, but is it? Anyways. Only time will tell. And I just need to wait for it to drop and fluff.
Updated on 4 May 2021:
Sorry my posts are so long, I guess I’m trying to find solace and comfort from you guys. Thank you for your support :(. The post will only let me upload 10 photos at once. I'll upload a second for more pics.
- I was going back and forth about keeping the ones I have, going to smaller implants, or just removing them in total. After talking with my best friend who’s also my husbands cousin, who breast fed 5 children and got breast implants 3 years ago by the same doc, she explained to me that this was the first time my body ever went through a large change, and compared it to pregnancy. Which made a lot of sense. She said that I’m just having a hard time adjusting to the new me. She made a really good point, that I am mostly afraid of what others will think because it is kind of a noticeable change, but she said that she just told the whole family to avoid all the whispers and rip the bandaid off. I might do that also. I am so lucky to have good friends. I do like them visually, I still feel like they’re a bit too big but everyone says they look perfect on my frame. So I will give it more time before I make a decision. Since I spoke with her, I’ve been able to have a more steady thought about them. I'm wearing a 34D bra right now.
- I see all these reviews of women who are so happy about their breasts so quickly after, and here I am 6 weeks later still on the fence about everything. I tried on some of the clothes I bought about a month before surgery from SHEIN. I figured, maybe if I put on the clothes I’ve always wanted to wear, I would feel sexy, and I think my boobs look so great in those clothes!
- I also put on the clothes I wore with the sizers, and you can see in the comparison they look a bit smaller than the sizer itself, which makes me a bit happier. I guess they’re kind of what I wanted? I’ve had multiple consults over the past 6 years, and I always said I wouldn’t go bigger than 300ccs. But then a week before surgery, I kept looking at the sizer pictures of the 300s and was like “these are going to be too small, I really think I’ll be unhappy” so then I made the last minute decision to go to 375, and now I’m unsure if it was the right choice. If I do get them removed, have I mauled my body? Should I just have been happy with my body?
- I don’t know if I’m experiencing BII symptoms, or if this is all from stress and anxiety, and if I’m still recovering. Physically and mentally, this is how I’ve been feeling. I guess as I get less stressed the symptoms go away sooo lol, it might just be in my head. Anyways:
- Brain fog
- Mental fatigue
- Physically more tired
- I think I might be shedding more hair than usual?
- The bags under my eyes seem deeper and darker to me
- My face feels a bit more swollen and puffy than normal to me
- Some weird memory issues, like I couldn’t remember why there was a dirty bowl in the sink and my husband works away for a few weeks at a time, so like I’m the only person that could have put the bowl there, but I can’t remember using it and putting it in the sink…
- I feel like I’m tripping up on words more often, like my recall isn’t as good?
And frankly, all of that is scaring me a lot. Again, I’m not sure if this could all be from the stress of everything.
Anyways, here’s my 6 weeks update, thank you for reading :)
Updated on 4 May 2021:
Here’s some pics of the clothes I tried on that I really liked. Please excuse the paintings I haven’t hung yet lol.
Updated on 22 May 2021:
- Alright y’all, let me give you the rundown of now the past couple weeks have been. I’ve been feeling so much better. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. A lot of my really tough emotions are starting to subside! They come up every now and then but after have great sessions with my psychologist, I’m able to navigate my fears and emotions in a much more healthy fashion lol. Amazing what this surgery has taught me about myself.
- I’m still fluctuating between feeling that they’re too big, and feeling that they’re just right. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I always knew how to dress for smaller boobs, and now I’m learning how to dress my body with my new boobs! And they still need to drop a bit I think? I dunno.
- The emotional roller coaster is real but I’m glad I’ve had such a great support system and I’ve been brave enough to explore my emotions and continuing to power through, showed me how strong I actually am.
- I have a few discomforts to note:
- I am definitely still getting zingers
- I have feeling in my left nipple but still super numb in my right
- Having some numbness on my right breast underside is still there
- I can’t comfortably lay on my stomach yet without them feeling like they’re going to pop
- My chest muscles are still quite week as demonstrated in my flexing of the video I posted
- They feel like they’re going to shoot out of the side if I flex too hard trying to open a jar or something
- They still get the rug burn feeling sometimes and just general discomfort and tightness, must be some residual swelling.
On the bright side! They’re super super squishy!!! Like for 2mpo I’ve seen some other ladies still have rocks on their chest lol. Righty is taking longer to drop, she’s still riding a bit high *angry face* lol. Im currently fitting into 30DDD/G or 32DD/DDD depending (if you ladies haven’t already, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you visit abrathatfits.org to see what your true bra size is!) But all in all, things are going well! I’m still meeting with my doc on June 3rd just to explore my options if I decide to exchange for the smaller implant. I know Dr Frank is incredibly skilled and he’s really so good at making them look nice! So yeah. That’s where I’m at!
Updated on 22 Jun 2021:
One of the girls on this site posted a review about how someone told her to wait to 3 months to see how she felt about them, and they are seriously not kidding about this. Now that I’m 3 months post op, I am liking them so much!! I feel so sexy in my clothes and like I’ve got a huge confidence boost! Which is surprising because if you asked me 2 months ago how I felt about them, I hated them lol. Anyways, sometimes I still feel they are a bit too big, that hasn’t gone away, but my emotions have changed so much in the past 3 months so I will give it more time to see if I want the smaller implant in a year or two. But in the meantime, I will proudly flaunt my new DD tiddies haha! Yay! Current measurements are 37” bust, 28” waist, 41” hips, 135lbs for reference.
Updated on 26 Jul 2021:
Hi y’all!! I’m just a few days past 4 months and honestly I really love them! I’ve started to tell a few people in my life and so far the reactions have been positive, which has been very relieving.
- I feel like they’re starting to look quite natural, but it’s weird because when I compare them to previous photos, I don’t know if they’ve actually changed much lol. I notice people looking at them when I’m wearing a tighter shirt, which is not something I’m used to. It has been so nice being braless in outfits and wearing all of the things I never used to feel comfortable wearing. My husband has been loving this as well wink wink haha.
- I am having a harder time finding clothes that hide them when I feel like it, without making me look frumpy, so that’s a new challenge. I’m currently measuring 37” around the bust, and 30” underbust, which puts me at a 30G. I still sleep in a Bralette or sports bra as these were not cheap and I want to protect my investment! I love the brand Negative for their bras, so comfortable to sleep in as well.
- I’m having some trouble working off the weight I gained in recovery, but I’ve probably been slacking in my diet as well lol. I look at my before and after pictures and I’m just shocked that I actually did this! I feel very brave.
- As for the feeling that they’re too big, that feeling sometimes comes up still. I can definitely see myself downsizing when they’re due for an exchange, or in 3-6 years depending on how I feel about them. In the meantime, I have embraced my new body and I shall go forth with my tatas! Ask any questions below and I’ll be happy to answer