I recently had a Panniculectomy with Dr. Ruebeck. First and foremost, his initial consultation was amazingly assuring that I was making the right decision and that I would be pleased with the outcome. He then ensured that he and his staff (Nikki) would be available to answer any questions or concerns no matter what. I went into surgery feeling confident that I would come out brand new. I did! Dr. Ruebeck is a master at his craft. My incision is almost perfect, and after only 11 days, it looks beautiful. The icing on the cake is that I went in for a surgery that was taking a part of me away that defines me as a woman and mother and I was given the gift of a beautiful excess skin-free stomach, basically just as beautiful as a tummy tuck! Summer, here I come!
Dr. Ruebeck is a knowledgeable and patient man who took the time to answer all of my questions and walk me through the pros and cons of different breast augmentation options. When I had an opinion, he listened and when I didn't, he made recommendations. He really took the time to understand what I wanted and got me those results. I'm only a week post-op, but I'm very happy with my new breasts so far! Dr. Ruebeck's staff is always helpful and friendly and his office is comfortable and clean. I'd recommend him to anyone.
My entire adult life and sense of physical self has been dominated by my chest size. As I aged, my breasts became less of an asset and more of a joke and embarrassment. After years of thinking I had to just put up with it all, I realized that the aches and pains and shame and frustration were a viable reason to take action. I also realized that, just like the company said, "I AM worth it." Updated on 21 Apr 2014: Like so many others, my chest size has been part of my self identify. As Bette Midler once quipped, I feel like at my birth, the newspaper could have said "Baby born with 42 inch chest". Actually, I was pretty normal and didn't develop until early adolescence, but when I did...! At first, it was part of who I was: I wasn't known as the 'pretty one', I was the funny side kick or the clever student who relied more on my wit and smart response instead of any thing remotely feminine. Oddly enough, because I was so big chested, I didn't feel feminine in a pretty sort of way; my sense of being female was more influenced by the societal way of using one's bosom to be sexual. I really believe that has influenced how I see myself as female. Okay, then life happened: I could go into the details but there isn't enough space and frankly, that's not why you're all reading this (except I do want to seriously say this: I lived most of my 20s through my 40s as someone who accommodated my life for others' lives; catastrophic changes led to me being where I am today: 54 and working hard to live a true and authentic life for myself first and foremost). My whole journey to this point has been a long one psychologically, but in terms of the actual "okay, let's make an appointment and DO this thing" seems a bit whirlwind. I went in for my annual mammogram and I thought why not ask them if they know of anyone I could speak with about a possible procedure. As someone else on this site commented, it's not like a breast clinic wouldn't see a fair number of chesticles (love that word) and would no doubt be able to offer a referral. The nurse guide spoke with me and suggested Midwest Plastic Surgery--right in the same building as the breast clinic as well as my ob/gyn, so that made things simple. Got an appointment that same week (March 27) and before I knew it: game on. After answering a few questions during intake and meeting the surgeon, I was told that my insurance carrier (Health Partners) would cover my surgery due to its medical need and the amount of reduction that would occur. Compared to many others' stories I have read on Real Self, I count myself very, very lucky. But I plan on triple checking just to make sure. And so now I have just under 3 weeks to get my proverbial sh*t in order. Thankfully, I came across this organization and have gained a great deal of knowledge as well as insight and confidence into not only this procedure...but the myriad needs for wanting it done. I am NOT alone and for that, I am so truly very grateful to you all. Updated on 22 Apr 2014: Reading the reviews of others as well as taking note of the side conversations that result has put me in a contemplative mood (warning: this may turn into a rant or a pity party...or both). First, I asked my S.O. (at 54 years old, I can't bring myself to say 'boy friend' but we are not married and partner sounds so...clinical, so Significant Other will have to do for now) tonight about how he felt about "it" all and pretty much got the standard guy response--supportive but, you know, yeah, you'll feel better, but you should do what you feel is right... He is an engineer and he admits that this is how he sees most things: practically and pragmatically. After prodding and being upfront about saying what I am going to need during this time (at this stage of my life and with my track record, I have learned that it is better to be clear and direct and not wait for Nora Ephron to write the script for your conversations), he finally admitted that he felt like he might be facing a trap: he did not want to say that having a reduction would improve my figure because he didn't want to make me feel he didn't care for my figure in the first place, but he also didn't want to say having it done wouldn't matter because he didn't want to sound like he didn't support me in this. And it was very edifying and helpful to have him admit this. I told him that it was important to me to have his support in all its various guises (but, being an engineer and not prone to bouts of romantic folly as am I) I also said I would need the occasional hug during this emotionally precarious time. We agreed that he would do that for me and that I would need to understand that part of the way he coped was to think like an engineer ('Doing this will make you feel better, so there is every reason to have this done'). I think we still need to talk about some of it so that I don't have what will obviously be an emotional time exacerbated by any misunderstandings, but it was a start. So there's that. I have gone shopping for bras and button front tops these past couple of days; tops are fairly easy to source, but the bras are giving me a challenge. I look at the ones without underwire and with a measly C or D cup and I just cannot fathom myself wearing one of them... plus, none are front fastening, so I need to keep searching. I am narrowing down the choices for the 'investment' bras, based on the feedback and commentary found on the RS reviews, but it's those after-the-fact ones that I will need to wear from about the second or so month onward that I am looking for. I have plenty of time, but being a Capricorn, I like to be prepared. That's another thing: preparing for food, cleaning and all the rest of it for my first week or two post-op. I know from reading everyone's reviews that my appetite will be lessened but that I will need to eat something that is to help me with rest and recovery, so I need to prep all of that out. I also want to ensure I have thought about all of my other needs and placed things so that it will not be detrimental to my recovery to access them. Why is it, then, that I am feeling so overwhelmed by it all that I just don't do any of it? I am waiting for this coming weekend to put some of it together and will finalize everything the weekend after that (the weekend before my surgery on May 9). I also have to make sure that all of my lessons are in order (I am a teacher--and this is a busy time of year as one can imagine) so I am feeling a bit stressed out at the enormity of it all. Trying to 'chunk' it out bit by bit but every now and then the waves hit me. Is it weird to just want someone to cluck and fuss over you? I feel so selfish thinking this way because after all, it's not like I am having some sort of procedure to save my kidneys or because of cancer... My partner thought my discussion of it was me 'freaking out' about it all, but I tried to tell him that it was rather normal to be caught up in thinking about something that could radically alter the way you felt about yourself. He replied that it was hard for him to truly empathize because there really was no male equivalent for such an experience (his analogy was a guy going from having a sporty race car to driving a van...after I gave him The Look, he conceded it was a sh*t analogy but pointed out that part of him just was incapable of truly understanding what I was going through). Good Godfrey, this did turn into a pity rant...but I'm not going to delete it because I need to address it and this is a great forum for helping me work though these feelings. So, thank you, RS community, for allowing me the opportunity. If you are healing, then peace and love to you. If you are preparing for May like me, then I send you even more peace and love as you continue toward your surgery date and is beyond. Lozza Updated on 26 Apr 2014: So I just ordered online bras...based on many recommendations and a bit of 'hit and miss', I decided upon these three: a Marena Surgical bra (with the one inch band), a Leading Lady Sleep Most Comfortable Bra and a MariaE Women's Post Surgical Bra. I got varying sizes, depending on the manufacturer but went with the wider band width, per Peediewife's suggestion. Once they arrive (somewhere around May 1), I will let everyone know if they are worthwhile (the prices ranged from $36 to $14). I cannot believe that my pre surgery appointment is coming up this week! Thankfully, I am feeling like I will be prepared for this, what with all the information I have gleaned from my 'bust' buddies on this site! I know the doctor said in my consultation appointment that I would go down to a D cup, but that still seems too large, although looking at my torso, I no doubt need the proportion. But I think a C cup would be more desirable. Maybe I shoot for a C cup and end up small D... Updated on 26 Apr 2014: With two weeks to go, I have begun the inevitable roller coaster ride of emotions. The down dips include worries that it won't go well, that I won't heal properly, that the shape won't be right... The dips also include self-recrimination, where I wonder if I am being selfish for going through with this at all since I've gone this long in my life. The ups, however, include knowing that much of the pain (physical and psychological) would be relieved, if not eradicated; having others (family) reassure me that it is worth it---that I am worth it; and that despite the initial pain, it will ultimately be worth it in many ways. It will be so very strange to have smaller breasts, to not have to choose what I wear based solely on whether or not it can not only fit over my chest, but keep me from looking cheap or fat or slovenly. Apologies for the pity party, but I really don't have any other venue for my thoughts right now. Updated on 27 Apr 2014: After shopping around (literally) I finally ordered some bras for the first couple of weeks, although with all of the recommendations, I may add to it. The big purchase today was a recliner--I was concerned that I would not be able to sleep both comfortably and safely (one but not the other), so I decided to go to Craigslist to see if I could minimize investment for such a short term expense. Luckily, I found one in really good nick (and from a non-smoking home, so yay) and at a really affordable price and it is now ensconced in my front room ready to use. I also figured if it isn't something we want to keep, or use at the cabin, I can always bequeath it to my eldest for her home! So ladies, if you are in the same boat, I strongly encourage you to look online: $50 got me a very good quality, extremely comfortable recliner that will help me rest and recover. Heck, that's less than I used to pay for my bras! Updated on 27 Apr 2014: Updated on 29 Apr 2014: This is the time, ten or so days before your surgery, that you start to doubt, I mean really doubt, whether or not what you are doing is the right thing. There's all the normal fears: scared of what could happen if things go wrong, scared that it will hurt more than you anticipate, scared that it won't make things better...I am talking about the doubt, not the fear. That's the doubt that nags at you, whispering in the back of your head "You really don't need this. You've gone this long, just suck it up and deal. It's not that bad, you're used to it, just live with it" and I started to believe that voice. Yes, I had wanted this for such a long time, had looked into it half-heartedly and then with the intensity of someone studying for finals...But even as I purchased the special bras and shirts and pajamas, even with the completion of paperwork and FMLA forms and the rounds of medical appointments...even, I am ashamed to say, after reading the heart warming and inspiring stories of other women on sites like this one, I began to think that I was making too much out of it, that I was over-reacting and needed to keep things in perspective. Well, I got that perspective tonight. Hosting my niece (who'd had this done when she was 19 and who has gone on to breastfeed her son) and her family, my daughter and her beau, my S.O. was snapping some candid shots and he caught this one of me. As I looked at it, I saw myself through others' eyes, not mine reflected in a mirror. There is no denying it: my breasts are out of proportion to my body. They made me look grotesque (in the actual sense of the word). It is the first...and sometimes only...thing people see (and considering I am a high school teacher, I know my students aren't paying close attention to my lectures on post-modern literature when I have a rack like this getting in my way). So I am keeping this picture, not because it motivates me or because it is an embarrassing reminder of what needs fixing. I am keeping this picture to assure me emotionally and psychologically about what I have always known rationally: there is an opportunity to reconcile my body with who I am inside. Updated on 30 Apr 2014: First of all, thank you all very much for your really kind and comforting words. Your support is very important to me and reading these tonight made me tear up. It really means a great deal to me to know there are others who 'get it'. So thank you. So now for something completely different. I got one of my post-surgery bras in the mail today; it's the MariaE and it was the middle of the range price wise, about $30. And, of course, I tried it on, knowing it would be weird. Yeah, I'll say. First of all, no underwire. I haven't not had underwire in my bra since...um, since...well, NEVER. And because there are no cup sizes, you just order your band width, or thereabouts. So this was a Large, because my band size is 38 to 40. And do then, I just had to stare for a while and take it all in... I asked S.O. to see me in my splendor and his response was, "Well, it's not revealing if you can't see a nipple." Oh, I chuckled heartily at that--and then I smacked him and told him to take these photos. Obviously, I will post more when I have had my surgery and see how these actually fit, but until then, to think that these will be the size I will wear in future is pretty gobsmacking. NINE MORE SLEEPS! Updated on 1 May 2014: Today was my appointment with my surgeon. I have a week to go (o.m.g. I actually have only a week to go...!) and thanks to all the wonderful advice and reviews on RS, I was able to go in feeling like I had all of my questions ready to ask. Dr Ruebeck was very patient and supportive, answering my questions without making me feel odd for asking them; with 17 years experience, I think he might have seen a number of different patient types so I was grateful for his nonjudgemental discussion. As peediewife and others have pointed out, all doctors and situations are different: I was originally told in the paperwork not to ice, but today he said that if the sides (which will have lipo) feel sore, to feel free to do so. He also said that if I needed the other things for nausea, bruising or swelling, to let him know or to send someone for it once I got home; so we'll see. I filled my pain med prescription (oxycoden) and also stocked up on the other two I take (one for anxiety/depression and my HRT patches; I had a complete hysterectomy two and a half years ago). Dr R said I can continue taking them both. Here's the best part: I can take a shower the day after the surgery! If all goes well, then I am able to remove all of the bandaging from the surgery and take a shower with the strips over the incisions. Obviously I won't soak myself silly, but it will feel so good (physically and mentally) to shower! So good news there! I will do the rest of the shopping prep this weekend: easy to digest foods that will help with getting my bowels back in business, build up my stamina and frankly, just make me feel better. The S.O. is a good cook but his sense of time is not always in sync with the rest of the world's (tonight is a case in point: came home at 5:45 pm today exhausted and sore and said I needed a nap; he was free to start dinner. When I got up an hour and a bit later, he hadn't started, hadn't even thought about it, so engrossed was he in his work...we had dinner at 8 pm). So I think I will need to make it clear that proper meals are to be made and that we will have to follow some sort of loose schedule... I got my two other bras from Amazon today: the Marena and a "Lady" something or other; the former is the expensive one (not really, compared to what I used to spend!) and the other is the least expensive of all ($14). I tried both on for comparison and same story as before (duh!) but I feel that they will actually be comfortable in the long run. I still can't fathom having the girls actually fit within those scant little pieces of cloth, though! It has been wonderful to read about those who have just had their surgeries or are on their way to have them: good luck to you all and hope to hear more about your recovery! And for those who are post-op--don't forget about us and keep letting us know how things are going for you--not only do we care and send you joy and good wishes, we continue to learn from you and gain comfort in hearing your stories. xo Updated on 6 May 2014: My whole outlook on life is pretty crummy right now mainly due to stress, overwork and anxiety. I wonder how many of you all ran into the same problems of thinking you had everything under control and planned for and then BAM! you realize there simply are not enough hours in the day to take care of everything that needs to be done. I am busier than a Kennedy at Happy Hour (as they say) with work and putting in longer hours than I would like. This results in abbreviated sleep which exacerbates my rotten mood. More than a few students felt my wrath the past couple days, I can assure you. It also did not help to find out that things were not as rosy in the financial department as I'd first thought. Thanks SOLELY to this site and learning from others within the RS community, I made it a point to call the surgery office to make sure I was not going to have any surprises after my operation. Turns out that when I'd been told during my consult that my insurance company (Health Partners) would cover it, the nurse who was in charge of patient liaison or whatever neglected to include a few things like the four different billers who would want a piece of the insurance pie (anesthesiologist, hospital, lab work and, of course, the surgeon's office). So not only did I get a bill for $180 after the consult, I can look forward to watching these four entities fight out who will submit their claims first...and when the dust settles, I will have to pay the reminder of my deductible (which is about $1500 out of a $2400 annual amount) and then after that, the insurance kicks in and covers the rest...oh, at 80%, not 100%. Actually, in point of fact, that could all be complete horsesh*t, because I really couldn't follow much of what she and then later, what my insurance company was saying. I think it will all come down to paying about $1500 all up and thereabouts...at this rate, with my deductible paid, I might squeeze in a tummy tuck and face lift before the fiscal year is out... So, lesson to those who have yet to deal with all of the financial hurdles: ask for all the information so you know that nothing will surprise you. Shock you, yes, because of how much you still might have to pay, but at least you'll be ready for it. So, once again, thank you Real Self community. So, yeah, here it is, three more sleeps before my procedure and I feel like I am not going to be ready until Dr Ruebeck starts applying the texta markers to my chesticles. I took others' advice and got my prescriptions filled, including my normal stuff. I've done most of the shopping for the bras I'll need (please see hilarious photo shoot, above) for the first week or two and have button front tops and pi's. I started to go a bit silly buying tops and then realized I could just wear the SO's if I was just around the house, so that money can be saved for later purchases. No, wait, I'll have to put it toward the damned deductible. Grrr. The things I really haven't done are planned food or menus. It's a VBD (Very Big Deal) to have the SO think ahead and plan and make food (once again, eating at 8 pm tonight since I had a meeting until 7 pm and left him in charge...) so I don't know how things would go if I just left him to his own devices. But who knows what the appetite will be like after surgery? No, that's not a rhetorical question; who out there can give me some input on what to expect? Still fighting off some of the rotten voices in my head stuff that tell me I'm too fat in the bod for this all to make a difference anyway, or that they won't be better just because they're smaller...all that junk that I know rationally is ridiculous but still freaks me out somewhat. Is it crazy to have part of me looking forward to having a bit of time to just retreat from the world while I recover? I can sense there will be some psychological re-building, as well. And, yes, the fact that I will be only two days post-op on Mother's Day...not sure if I will be weepy and want the progeny nearby or if I will be weepy and want the progeny far away... I want the fuss and TLC, but don't know if I will get it. How wonderful it is, though, to read the updates and the responses and the comments that flood this blog site! When I opened up the email tonight there were over 50 notices of new mail and nearly half of them were Real Self folks staying in touch with everyone and giving encouragement and kudos on the great recoveries everyone was having or reassuring them that things were going well... So now that I have updated my review, I'm going to go to the 'community wall' and start posting on others's reviews to let them know how much they mean to me. That's YOU, you know! xo Updated on 7 May 2014: It is very challenging to be productive right now: all I want is to feed my 'addiction' of reading others' reviews and comments to help me get ready for what will, for all intents and purposes, be a life changing experience in a mere 36 hours. While I haven't readied everything I wanted to, I do feel nearly ready emotionally and psychologically. That is in no small part due to my connection with everyone on this site. Really and truly amazing opportunity and kudos to the people who put it together and who keep it going. Practical matters: based on suggestions I have read in others' reviews, I measured my bust pre-op. First, I measured standing up and then leaning over at the waist to measure around my back and across the front of my bust. Standing upright: 40 inches; bent over: 44 inches. I am not sure when I will be able to measure post-op to compare, but I will and will post to help others see that it is a true and quantifiable difference. Interesting how the mind works: we see ourselves in the mirror and become so accustomed to what we see that we accept the normality of it. And in a way, we should; we are all beautiful in our own unique ways and need to work diligently to not compare ourselves to the unrealistic examples being passed off as normal by the mainstream media. However, when we see ourselves through others' eyes, e.g. in photographs or reflections in windows, it seems (to me, at least) like it's a different person than the one to whom I've been accustomed to staring back at me in the mirror. It's like someone said: we get used to it and then when we see a photo, we realize: no, this is not what I want, this is not it at all. I can't wait to burn my bras. Updated on 8 May 2014: 'Twas the night before surgery and all through my veins My nerves were all jangly, like so many chains. I'd read all the entries from those who'd gone first, I knew this decision would not be my worst. The meds were all stored in the bathroom with care In hopes that their benefits soon they would share. Button front p.j.'s and loose fitting pants-- All to ensure that my comfort's enhanced. Bras that would fit me and keep me in tow Were nestled and lined up in cute little rows. Pillows and chairs that reclined were all ready And, for the most part, my nerves were all steady. Some wobbles at times--a tumultuous week! Emotions had finally come to a peak. Wrestling with feelings I'd dealt with for years Were finally getting checked out of arrears. Fortuitously I had learned of reviews That were written by those who had walked in my shoes. Their words offered comfort, advice and good cheer Which gave me support as my surgery grew near. And now on the eve of my hoped for reduction, I say to my friends, "It is through your production of stories you've shared of the roads of your own That this journey I take is not taken alone." So, yes, it's the night before my surgery. Incredible that it is finally here! Didn't think it could come and then when it did, it's almost seemed to come too quickly. Am I ready? Did I prepare enough? Is it the right thing to do? Of course it is! Will work survive without me? How will I be able to recover? All those questions and more are coursing through my head, but there is a calm at the center that is helping me stay focused. For those who read this who have a way to go before their surgery date, keep reading and sharing and learning from those on this site and the support networks in your lives; for those who are healing and recovering and who have shared their experiences with the rest of us, thank you for being so gracious with your thoughts, suggestions and comfort. I will continue to update for my benefit as well as the benefit of anyone who gains from reading these ramblings. Really, really glad I found this place! Okay ladies, wish me luck! Time to get ready for bed (love me some Hibiclens, available for $11.99 at your local CVS) and rest up for my 7:00 am check in time! See you on the other side! xoxo Lozza Updated on 9 May 2014: I am going to take advantage of the momentary lapse of sleeping to update you all on the procedure WHICH I HAD TODAY!!! First, dot points then overall impression: 1. Rocked up at 7 am and was processed by efficient and kind intake person who, when I told her what my procedure was to be, pumped her fist in the air and said, "Yes!!!!" Good omen, I thought. 2. Had the preliminary preparations made (BP, weight--lost 3/5 lbs!--etc and then helped into the changing gowns, et al, but a petite woman about my age--who had had the same procedure done three years ago! We spent quality time chatting and ladies, it was VERY reassuring to hear her story. She was really encouraging for me, particularly as she 'got' the reason it took me so long to make this happen: "We spend our lives doing everything for everyone else and when we have the opportunity to do something for us, we find it hard to accept that we deserve it." Yeah, that helped a lot. 3. Met the nurse who would be monitoring me all day for further rego stuff, then met the anesthesiologist; if you are offered a heated air tube to attach to your gown, take it: it helps with calming your nerves. I mentioned to both that I'd developed a slight cold over the past day and they double checked breathing, lungs etc and declared me fit to proceed. Huge 'whew!' there. Another tip: make SURE that your results from your check up are sent to the hospital; my bloodworm was missing from my records so they had to draw blood again. Seeing as how my veins are the only skinny thing on me, it was tough to tap one, so they had to go with my hand, which hurts like the dickens. 4. Dr Ruebeck then came in and we proceeded to do the measuring and marking. I was grateful I'd researched this so it made it less awkward, plus I could ask intelligent questions and not feel like a dumba**. Here's a tip: have them remove the heating air tube before this point: the marker smeared a bit onto my arms, hand, etc. later when I brushed against any of the markings. Dr Ruebeck examined both sides under my arms and declared that he might have to do more than lip on the left side due to some overhand skin. [insert ironically funny story here: when I was six days old, I had my first operation: I'd been born with a cyst developing in the left side of my chest so they had to remove it. At the time, the surgeon had told my parents he hoped I wouldn't have any difficulty with breast development...No, the irony was not lost on me this morning, either] 5. The SO came in to be told what was going to happen time wise, etc. and was given the option to go home for the next five to six hours; bless his cotton socks, he elected to stay (of course, he is in the middle of writing another novel so he probs didn't want to lose time in the drive!). Then, one last trip to the loo and off to the operating room (theatre for you UK/Aussie folks!). 5. That was where it all crystalized for me, ladies. I had to stand at the door just a second or two, breathe deeply a couple of times and acknowledge all that had led to this moment. That is where the highest level of anxiety hit (but they were to give me something for that). I met my operating staff and did a bit of stand up for them to work the room; I like people to do what they were about to do liking me and thinking of me as a person. Up onto the table, with arms stretched out on either side and the IV begun. They did a good job of keeping me warm. As the I.V. hit and Dr DeMars asked if I was feeling the effects yet, I said, "Yes, I think.........................." 6. Recovery was about two hours. Really groggy at first but that is okay. Ate the graham crackers and drank the apple juice they offered slowly but made sure I consumed the lot. No nausea, nothing, so I was very grateful. Then, it was time to get dressed and head home (WITH A PILLOW!) Which is where I am now and have been for the past four hours. How do I feel? Groggy a bit, like the front of my head goes in and out for focusing. Moderate to severe pain in the chesticles (shooting pains within them, incision pain underneath). Tired, certainly, but not as tired as I'd thought, although the first two hours home were spent dozing in the recliner (I am SO bloody glad I got one) cuddled under sheets and blankets (thanks, Wendy, for the tip to cover the chair with a fitted sheet) and trying to return calls of good wishes from my daughters and the friends who know. Oh, and not regretting one iota for getting this done. xo Lozz Updated on 9 May 2014: Lost 3.5 lbs and had bloodwork done....auto correct changed it to bloodworm which is NOT what I'd had!!! Updated on 9 May 2014: they did lipo, they didn't take my lip 8/ Updated on 9 May 2014: due to some overlapping skin (love these pain meds...) Updated on 9 May 2014: Updated on 10 May 2014: So my surgeon had given me the 'okay' to shower the day after surgery: that was sublimely wonderful. Just the feel of the warm water on my skin, especially my back, was amazing and then when it hit my front (gently: we had me sit in the tub on a plastic cooler and pulled the handheld nozzle out of the holder) I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven. So, yes, ladies, the sooner you can have that shower, the better. For those of you who had to wait a few days, I find that cruel and unusual punishment! And oh, did I tell you I had to take off the bandages and have the big reveal? Okay, that was something else. I had the S.O. in with me to help remove the ace bandage (actually, that was a ruse; I wanted him to be with me) and there was heavy bleeding on the inside gauze, especially on the left side where the extra work had to be done under my armpit. And, well, while the pictures speak for themselves, I must tell you: I cried. I really teared up and could not believe I was looking at me. It has changed my shape clearly. Yes, my tummy is still bigger than I'd like, but to actually see the part of my front that is under my breasts and above my belly button---well, I hadn't seen that in YEARS. I couldn't stop staring. The bruising on the inside took me by surprise; I figured there would be some bruising but this seemed like a lot. Makes sense, considering what went on in there. The left side stitches hurt a lot; I put extra padding along that side to help pillow it. I only have two gauze pads under each breast and that third one folded in half. And I am wearing my Marena bra! To see me in that...what the fromage, it is cray cray! But a good kind of cray cray, I assure you. So I am spending this afternoon updating my review, resting in my clean self and marena underwire-less bra and comfy yoga pants and button up front top, enjoying the warm weather through the screen doors to the deck and just amazed that this is all really real. Updated on 10 May 2014: Updated on 10 May 2014: Updated on 12 May 2014: It has been three days since I had my surgery. There are things that are going well and things that I wish would go better. The good news is that the shape is maintaining well enough; there are still some odd lumpages here or there but ultimately, the shape is even. I have also been out and about: the SO took me to lunch today and while my appetite is down (huzzah!) I was able to sit through the whole thing without discomfort. Of course, I came home and had the deepest two hour nap ever! I've also done a bit of puttering around the place: dishes and tidying up and things. I do not want to stretch too far, though, so some dishes will remain on the counter until the SO notices them and puts them back in the cupboards. I am finding my concentration isn't that sustained, so I haven't buckled down to start marking the two big bags of portfolios that await me. I will edge them closer to my recliner in hopes that I feel so inclined soon. Pain wise has been the downside. I took off the ace bandage to take my shower the day after surgery (per doctor approval) and have been wearing one of the three that I bought online; I am using extra gauze pads, because there is definite seepage along the outer sides of the incisions (weepy and light pink) but today I just used some tissues folded over as I've run out of gauze pads. I had the 'zingers' people talk about on Saturday but not many yesterday and pretty much none today, yet the pain along the sides and under my arms is intense if I move or sit incorrectly. I also wish that sitting wouldn't allow the bras at the bottom band to curl and ride up, as they roll up and squash against the incisions and I am forever trying to adjust them without turning my arms into weird, twisty shapes that end up doing more damage and give more pain. I bought the Marena with the two inch band but even that one rides up. I put a question out to the docs about going back to the bandeau and one responded to contact my surgeon asap and ask but by the time the response showed up, the surgeon's office was closed so I'll call tomorrow morning. I am pretty sure if he said to shower and didn't say 'put the ace back on' that what I'm doing is fine, though. Tell you what, girls: the Leading Lady bra has been the best bra by far for me. It's online and only $24 and comes in heaps of different colors. REALLY soft combed cotton and covers enough on top to make me feel protected. The Marena seems a bit low cut for me, at least it was yesterday and with my high, hard hooters, I felt like I was cup caking over the top of them. I bought two more of the LLs and am also waiting on the Adori that everyone's been raving about. Speaking of swollen, I am not as rock hard as I was when I first came home and through the weekend. They're still solid, but it's not like I could bounce a quarter off of them like I could before. SO says the bruising in the centre is going down but the bruising along the sides is even more colorful and widespread, so I don't know what that is all about. The seepage is coming out of the sides along the bottom. I cannot tell if he just lipo'd both sides or if he put an incision on the left, but it feels like the latter. It doesn't connect with the incision under the left breast, though...? Meh, what do I know, if you want to talk dangling prepositions or new historicism critical theory, I'm your gal. If you want to talk medico stuff, I'm as thick as a brick. The other things I wanted to point out include the fact that you will need reassurance that you are 'okay'. Having my eldest over for Mother's Day yesterday was nice with some (normal) gentle teasing and stuff; I felt like my youngest who rang from uni did so out of obligation and wasn't exactly tripping over herself to see how I was getting along. Afterwards, the SO reminded me that self absorption is rather typical for a 19 y.o. but it still kind of hurts. My son (who lives literally on the other side of the planet) was his usual non-loquacious self in a FB message ['I hope you're going to take it easy'--thank you, Prince Understatement]. I think it is okay to ask for the reassurance. I said to the S.O. that I needed him to reassure me about his feelings for me and in his engineering way, he did. I tried to talk with him earlier about the whole 'identification of yourself as a big breasted person' and how that would change but I don't really think men get it. When I tried on a top and asked 'Okay, do you see me or the top first' he said, "I'm a guy--I look at the chest" but he was trying to lighten the mood because I think it is difficult for him, as well. Back to practical stuff: hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! I have been really conscious about drinking lots of water and also cranberry juice. I did have a milkshake at lunch today (sadly, it did not bring any boys to my yard...) but mainly, it is water. Still no BMs, but I do take a gentle laxative every night. I feel some 'bubbling and gurgling' down there and have had to pass gas (which is a good sign?) but so far, nuttin'. I don't have any pain or discomfort from that yet, either, but I am hoping to get back on the colon track sooner than later. Hot flashes--anyone else? I use a .05 vivelle patch twice a week as HRT which has usually kept things at bay but hasn't been all that effective the past couple of months. It is rather muggy now where we live (Minnesota, US) but I can tell the difference between heat caused by temperature and heat caused by my body's release of stuff. Luckily, my yellow lab Newton doesn't mind if I sit around in the half nuddy every so often. Oh, yeah, and itchy boobs! Itchy everything, actually, so I am using the extendable back scratcher I got for SO a couple of years ago quite a lot. I don't want to stretch my arms to reach certain areas, and this really does the trick! But if I can just gently rub my fingers across my jubblies, it really helps take the itches away. I also take a benadryl (walgreen's version; just as effective, says the pharmacist) each time I take a pain med. OH, and thought I would be stoic and wean myself off of the pain meds...that was stupid. Stay the course, ladies, stay the course and do what feels right for you. I don't know if the rainy, dreary weather is helping or not. I feel like I have an opportunity to do a lot of thinking and planning and that is one of the good things about this time: outside imposed stillness. Being a Capricorn/middle-child/co-dependent, it is hard for me to plan things just for me, but that is what I am starting, ever so tentatively, to do now. Yes, I will take three yoga classes a week (when my body is up for it) and yes I will eat better foods. The SO wants to get me a bike and we can start biking around the lakes and trails around here; that will be fun. He also said, "I think it will be fun to watch you get new clothes"...I think it will be, too, especially because he's said he actually interested in that kind of stuff. I hope all of you have support people in your lives during this time; this is the first relationship I've ever had where I have a truly caring partner, so I am beyond grateful. Hmm, I meant to end this entry with something whimsical or upbeat or funny... I think I will end it with hoping that those reading this who've come to the Smaller Side are doing well with their recoveries and are discovering new and wonderful facets about themselves, no matter what place you are at in your journey. For those of you yet to 'cross over', please know that it is so very much worth it all. It really and truly is. Updated on 13 May 2014: Day Four: horrid. My pain is worse than ever, with the stitches underneath and to the sides hurting like crazy. I want to wean off of the pain meds or switch to something else, because having a BM is impossible. When I was finally able to go, it was, in a word, excruciating. I know, I know, I need to get more natural laxatives and prune juice and I mean to, but I can't get out myself so that means I need to ask SO another favor (he works from home so it's not like he can up and leave at a whim) and I feel bad asking him but he went out today to get the liners for my (waaaayyy tooooo tight) bras--what the heck happened to these things??? They were fine the first day or two and now they barely cover my chest. It's like the jubblies have expanded even more. I get they're swollen, but really??? This much??? Can't lean over because the pressure pulls on the stitches and hurts like hell, can't find a bra to feel comfortable, leaking like a ridiculous simile so I have to change bras every couple of hours and I only have three right now. The ones I thought were good, the Leading Lady? Yeah, they're sold out. Thanks. My stomach is soooo bloated and the gas pains hurt, increasing the pressure even more. So I am having a really sh*t day and I just want to feel normal again and yeah, I wish I could be witty or snarky but I'm just sad and angry and wretched. Thus endeth the pity party. Updated on 15 May 2014: Well, make that two days. Day Six finds me a might better than I'd been and looking forward to more bits of light at the end of this tunnel. I had my first post-op appointment today and I'm not sure how I felt about it. I asked the SO to accompany me (he did have to drive me...) and the opinion is that I seemed to run the meeting. Is that so wrong? My take on it was that I was an informed, proactive partner letting my doctor know what questions I had ('so, tell me about the wider than normal placement of the sides to the keyhole diagram' or 'why isn't the incision on my left side connected to the incision under that breast?' or 'did things go normally in the procedure in your perspective') but SO seems to think I didn't give the PS a chance to give me that information, I just went for it. I concede, I am forthright and that doesn't fit in to the culture of where I live quite well (I am reminded of 'My Cousin Vinnie'), but I want to be an informed consumer. Plus, I was feeling shirty with his assistant, who hadn't returned my phone call yesterday for nearly four hours when I'd rung to ask about using the Bromelain. And I don't like her calling me 'darling' and 'sweetheart' when either my name is just fine (and it makes me think she's forgotten it or I'm not worth remembering it) or she is just patronizing. Either way, it already made me ready to not be treated like an idiot. BTAIM, the appointment went fine and answered my questions: swelling is normal and (thanks to the folks on this site, I already knew) would come and go; the seepage will possibly continue another week or so and yes, it is natural for it to turn a yellowish/green color; cutting back on the Percocet is fine if I don't think I need it and the Bromelain is fine (he'd heard it was used for bruising...) along with any para or ibu type pain relievers I'd need. Don't get me wrong: I trust this man as a surgeon, but I did get the impression he deals with a lot of patients who don't go into this having prepped like they were taking their LSATs, so maybe I put him off. However, he felt that things were going along really well for this stage and that I should have no problem returning to work on Monday, provided I keep the weight lifting to ten lbs or less and watched how I manipulated my arms (he did suggest some stretching exercises which I might try). I now don't have to see him for a month, so that is set for June 19, with the caveat that I should call him any time I had questions or concerns. I don't know how I feel about going back to work; I will have a longish day on Tuesday for a student who is presenting a Major Work and I should be there on Monday for her rehearsals, but I think if I explain to admin, I can get someone to cover for me, as I do not think I could last working a 7:30 am to 7:30 pm day and then drive home. I feel bad, but there have to be limits and actually, I've worked heaps from home on her project as well as correspond with students and my sub. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do... Gotta work on that. So, for anyone reading this who isn't sure about the procedure or is still waiting for That Magic Day, trust me when I say that it IS worth it, even on those rotten, no good, horrible, very bad days. Because they turn into kinda okay think I can handle it days which turn into hey this was a great thing I did for myself days...and so on. Updated on 17 May 2014: (and by party, I mean attend a social function where I can sit down and look pretty). The SO and I were invited to a friend's 50th, so I had an opportunity to dress up and 'mix it' tonight. It was weird to do things like put on make up (foundation? what the heck is that?) and do my hair and all the rest of it...without four pounds of interruption getting between me and the mirror. The moment of truth came when I put on my ensemble; I had worn this top before and it had always been a matter of 'did I choose the right bra for the fabric'...honestly, when I put it on and then worked up the courage to look in the mirror--I cried, I really did. Because I saw the dress first. It looked 'right' on me and despite the fact that I also created a new yoga position while putting on my Spanx, it didn't look like I was wearing something two sizes too small. Add some capri leggings and some sassy coral wedges and I was ready! Most of the guests were the SO's friends from years back so no one really noticed anything about me, but someone there who has known me a while looked me up and down and said, 'Wow, you look great!' (she didn't know about the BR) so that was just a taste of what's to come when I go back to work on Monday. I must confess to some trepidation to returning to work but I've planned out my wardrobe to allow for some...discretion. Today and yesterday were much better days energy wise, as well; I have made a huge dent in my marking and know I will finish it off tomorrow and be ready to go in and face the monster days I will have waiting for me. I have investigated asking a colleague to supervise my students in the afternoon while I take what will no doubt be a much needed nap on either one of the days and I will make sure I have a full body of Tylenol or some such to alleviate the soreness that will eventuate. It is amazing to think that exactly a week ago today I'd just had this major surgery and I am actually starting to become accustomed to my new shape--although, as I said before, it sometimes still catches me by surprise. A good surprise. Updated on 18 May 2014: Tomorrow I will be going back to work after having had ten days off for recovery. While I wish I could have had longer, I know that it is only two more weeks of classes, then a week of finals and then the summer, when I am back to my own schedule. I am not looking forward to the longer hours (especially tomorrow and Tuesday) and the lack of being able to just have a bit of a rest when I need it. I have planned my lessons so that I can at least have some respite (i.e. not a lot of lecture, not a lot of 'hands on' work, etc) but it is still very tiring to be 'on' from the time one arrives to the time one can finally leave the building. Also, I will have to deal with the three levels of questions: those who have no clue why I was gone so long ("how ARE you??? what is wrong??? are you better???" and their genuine concern), those who know I had some sort of surgery ("so...everything...okay???") and those who know the whole story (I think there are five now, including a colleague who'd had a BR done a few years ago and has been helpful with various tips and suggestions). As far as students go, they are incredibly naive or bold; there is not a lot of grey area! But for the most part, I have really lovely classes of kids and they will be rather kind and caring overall. Is this odd: I have planned out my entire week's wardrobe, all to help blur the body lines. I don't want to wear baggy things (although much of my wardrobe no longer fits very well in certain areas and ways), but I am not comfortable really 'showing off' the new me, either. For anyone who is aware of things, it is definitely clear that I have decreased in the bust, but as many on this site have offered from their own experiences (and from what a friend said last night), it will be a matter of "Have you been losing weight?" kind of thing. It's like when a colleague I'd known for years shaved off his beard and mustache--no one could really figure out what was different about him! I am not embarrassed by what I have done, but despite my reputation at work, I do not like to call attention to myself. I like to call attention to things I do, but not me individually, if that makes sense. I am at the age where I will be able to respond to anything and everything that might come my way, but having gone through my adult life (over 30 years of it now) having had my large chest shape how I look at the world and how the world looks at me, it will be different to interact. Updated on 20 May 2014: Wow, I actually made it through the first two days back at work without getting frazzled, fired or (too) frantic. I was/am, however, quite fatigued. Monday didn't go as late as I'd feared (11 hours instead of 14) and tonight was only 12 but I went out for dinner with a colleague (she's just lost her mother...we both needed some friendship R&R) so even thought I am wiped, I am typing this from the vantage point of my bed--YES, MY BED! I have graduated from the recliner to the bed, as of Day 10. I didn't necessarily plan on it, but I just got jack of trying to sleep somewhat on my side when on the chair and thought 'what the fromage, might as well try it'. Set myself up with two memory foam pillows on either side for ballast and sure enough, I could kind of cocoon myself into curling over one of them . It's not perfect, but it's better. I wouldn't advise going back to work with only ten days recuperation after this type of surgery if one could help it, or if one had to, maybe then only going half days or something. I am definitely exhausted (not tired, but rather the 'in your bones and brain' kind of fatigue) and I am DEFINITELY more swollen. I am going to make a point of bringing the Bromelain to work with me so I can keep up with those to alleviate the swelling if I can. The bruising is subsiding more and more on the breast tissue itself but not along the sides; I look like an extra from 'Raging Bull', the bruises are so large, dark and deep. So at twelve days and I am finding that the steri strips (which I have been advised by the PS to keep on until they come off of their own volition) are starting to lose their stickiness and edges are drying or shriveling up. I snip those bits off as it occurs and it is giving me just teensy glimpses and touches of the stitches and incision. Also, the incisions under the breasts are sore and itchy. I am really looking forward to being able to rub the bio oil (is that right?) into them and massaging them each night, as I've read about others who have done so. I think that will not only help with the scar tissue (I fear there may be some braiding developing with parts of the lower under breast incision) but also the swelling. I know I should drink more water, but being at work, I end up forgetting as I go back to my old (bad) habits of getting caught up in the teaching and forgetting that hey, I can stop and take a drink or two if I need it. Any teachers reading this will know what I mean: there are days when you get home from work and you are just BUSTING to use the toilet and when you do, you realize why: you haven't gone all day, you've been so busy running around like a headless chook. Oy vey, what a mess. So three more days before the long weekend and I think I can make it through if I pace myself. Early home tomorrow and Friday so that will go a little way to helping. I am really going to rest up this weekend, though, and take guilt-free naps. I think I remember the recipe from my maternity days... Updated on 21 May 2014: A few of the office ladies know my story and today made a point of telling me that I looked great, that they were really happy for me and they could already see a difference in how I carried myself. I was just so grateful for their encouraging feedback and it reminded me that my fears of thinking that others would see my surgery as vain or shallow were unfounded. As one of them remarked, it is about the quality of one's life and this is but one step to make me healthier. Oh, and another 'small' thing: showed the SO me in a top I'd had for a while and I remarked how different it was NOT to see myself in the mirror with those big breasts of before; his response when I asked if it looked better was 'No...I looked 'just perfect.' So yeah, that was pretty nice...! Updated on 24 May 2014: I feel I have been remiss in not keeping up with everyone and giving them the comments they all deserve. I read them all but there was not much energy this week left for me to do much more than that. So I apologize to all of you for not letting you know that I am following your stories and journeys and wishing you all well. As some of you know, I went back to work this week after ten days off and sadly, it was not a normal one, but one filled with the extra bits that come with the end of the school year: Capstone performances, meetings and presentations, a retirement party thrown in for a good and dear friend (I spoke at it so there was no way I was going to miss it)... so last night (Friday) after a late-ish dinner, I fell asleep on the (beloved) recliner and slept from 9 to 11 pm...woke up and went to bed...and slept until 12:15 pm when the SO finally had to get the lawn mower started which woke me up. I would safely venture that my body went on strike and told my brain to eff off so it could replenish itself. I have never slept like this since undergraduate uni days! Amaze balls! Over the course of the week, I definitely could feel the swelling ebb and flow--I've been taking the Bromelain, but probably not as faithfully as I should. I went without any pain meds during the day (even Tylenol) because I didn't want to run the risk of driving poorly on my commute or of having any weirdness during the teaching day. At night, I would change into comfy clothes, take some pain meds (usually just oxycodein) at about 9 pm and then go to sleep. Sleeping in bed this week with the whole pillow nesting arrangement has been absolutely wonderful. While I slept well in the recliner, the routine of getting ready for work, etc was helped by the familiarity of sleeping in bed (didn't work out so well for the SO--he had to sleep in the spare room as there was no room for him with me, my pillows and Newton, our 60 lb lab). I found that I am able to sort of sleep on my side if I use the two side pillows (if you can get the memory foam ones, really thick and lovely, they are wonderful) as ballast. A few things I am concerned about: there seems to be some 'braiding' along the underside of the incision, just as the curve comes upward toward the center of my chest; I am hoping that will subside as the steri strips come off and the stitches eventually come out; I can feel some of the stitches where the steri strips have fallen off and they are really sharp--is that normal? The steri strips that are under the breast along those incisions seem to be a bit sodden; I have stopped leaking but they are still sodden even though my breasts are so small now that there is no overhang (hurrah!) and I worry that there might be some sort of ickiness going on down there that will create a situation for poor healing. I do air my breasts out (this week it has only been at night for about 15 minutes) but I don't think that has been enough. I don't go to my next post op until June 19 so I worry about the strips being on too long, etc. Bruising is definitely subsiding, even under my arms where the lipo was done; the swelling is another story. VERY tender under there, the most painful of anything I experience. I don't have the sharp 'zinger' pains I've been reading about, but I do have pain that I believe is due to the nerve reconnections, etc. I am so anxious to see the scars/incisions without any steri strips on them but I know I should not remove them prematurely; one of the bits came off and it is now redder there, which is a bit worrying, but so far no pain attached to it. Tons of itching along the incisions, which leads me to believe things are healing... Right now, at nearly 2 pm on Saturday of the long (US Memorial Day) weekend, I feel a bit lumpy and sore, and still tired (!). We are going to friends for dinner tonight--they know nothing about my surgery so it will be interesting to see their reaction (they are good enough friends where the wife will ask if I've lost weight and then when I tell her what I've done, both of them will come up and stare unabashedly--which is fine! Luckily, they will cook most of the (delicious) food and serve some lovely wine and since I won't be driving, I will have some. Then it's two more days to grade a HEAP of work and putz around the house and rest up before the penultimate week of school. Enough of me prattling on about myself; I am now going to stalk the forum and catch up with all you gals! Hogs and quiches to all of you! Updated on 25 May 2014: These are photos I took today, 16 days after surgery. As you can see, they are still swollen but the bruising has diminished quite a bit. I do worry about the dark bits under some of the steri strips but don't want to risk anything by pulling them off prematurely. From the parts that have come off, the incisions are very fine and neat. I looked up close and through the strips, could tell that the incision around the areola areas are even and neat looking (neat as in tidy, not neat is in groovy). Still tender and somewhat solid in most parts of each, and the swelling on the right side where the lipo occurred is still swollen and the most sore, but otherwise, I feel things are healing well. Updated on 31 May 2014: Three weeks yesterday marks 21 days since I lightened my load. It has definitely been a roller coaster in terms of recovery, but every day brings more good than bad. My healing is coming along: much less bruising for sure. The soreness seems confined mainly to the right side where most of the lipo was done, but I am definitely experiencing much of the 'reconnective zinger' pain in both; no rhyme nor reason for when and where and how often, but some of them definitely take my breath away! I really needed to wean myself off of the pain medication, though, because the constipation was not worth it; I don't take Tylenol 3, but I might invest in some now. I am trying to get by with just the regular ibuprofen. Certainly after a day at work, I get home and want to rest in the recliner; it's as others have said: it's not like I have a physically demanding job, but just the constant up and at 'em plus computer use et al means that there is no 'down time' during the day. Incision wise, it seems weird to still have the steri strips. I desperately want to remove them: they look grotty, and I am anxious to see the incisions themselves. I am holding back, though, because I can see that they could rip open scabbing that has occurred along the incision line and I don't want to run the risk of having little openings or damaging the skin. Some parts of the strips have come off of their own accord; I have just snipped those away and added the magic blue 3M tape to keep the incisions protected (of course, not until I've inspected the heck out of what I can now see!). The incisions are so fine and delicate around the areola. As far as underside of each breast, the pictures might be able to show the 'braiding' that others have mentioned having. I am trusting that it will all flatten out with time. Until then, I keep trying to remember that patience is a virtue... Emotions have definitely been swinging back and forth; it seems like anything and everything can set me off. Yesterday was particularly bad for a combination of reasons: not really 'clicking' with my youngest right now (she is heading overseas in a few days to spend two months holiday back with her friends in Oz; I feel I am good mainly for my credit card and the like, plus I am being held to account for past grievances--looooong story but suffice to say, I feel under appreciated by her) and so when I found out that a colleague's sister and brother in law had been involved in a fatal motorbike accident the day before, I pretty much broke down. I think my students caught on that something was amiss when I started to choke up in lecture; they were rather well-behaved that class period! But there are days when I feel I can take on the world and the very next I am feeling very vulnerable and insecure. Even without a uterus, I think I still have hormonal swings during what might have been my cycle; that and menopausal repercussions from HRT no doubt add to the mix. Gee, it's fun being female, isn't it??? I am also at a point where I wonder if I will ever see the swelling go down and know what my shape will actually be. I feel fortunate in that my breast shape is relatively even on both sides and the nipples are closely aligned. I have slight puckering but nothing drastic and the tightness is relaxing, although I can still feel slight pain at the slightest amount of pressure. I really want to get back to yoga; I'd started investigating it before my surgery and found it was so beneficial to my mental health. The owner of a local studio I'd attended got back to me with very good advice about how to slowly bring myself back in and I am going to treat myself to that starting this coming week. As long as I tell my instructor my situation and listen to my own body, I feel I will be fine with it. If anyone else has experience with this, I would love to hear from you and how things went for you post surgery. This summer will be one of re-growth and renewal for me in many, many ways; in a way, it's like my tattoo (a lotus on my inner left forearm) because my breast reduction is a physical and tangible reminder of how much I can control of me and my life. And what power I actually have over the choices I make. Geez, I feel a Helen Reddy song coming on... Updated on 15 Jun 2014:
I have felt very large in my chest since I was in high school, but I kept telling myself that I really wasn't that big. After all, I was only wearing a DD. Little did I know that like many women, I was wearing the wrong size bra! It wasn't until I was out of college that one of my girlfriends saw the bra I had been wearing and was flabbergasted that I had been wearing something that was obviously WAY to small for me. She took me to a store to be properly sized and I found out that I was actually a 32GG! I was able to buy the right size bra, but more importantly, I finally felt vindicated in my long-time desire to have a breast reduction! However, I was destined to wait. Having gained 40 lbs between college and marriage, I knew I would want to thin out a bit before I took away the two things that camouflaged the weight gain. After two SLOW years of hard work, the weight was finally gone and I started hunting around for a surgeon. Once I decided on my surgeon the whole process went very smoothly. Unlike many other posters, dealing with my insurance company was very easy and they approved coverage for the procedure on the first review. The procedure was scheduled for April 19th and the countdown was on! I had really done my research on breast reductions. For anyone that is considering this surgery, I think the best thing to do is find a good forum, like real self, and also watch you tube videos. I searched so obsessively that by the time the day finally arrived, I was felt more relieved than anything else. I was nervous and excited the day of, but the whole medical staff was absolutely wonderful. They were relaxed, encouraging, and their whole demeanor just really calmed any nerves that I had. By the time I slipped on the operating table I was completely relaxed and before I knew it I was waking up in recovery. The first thought that went through my mind was "this is going to be a breeze"! I had my appendix rupture and removed two years earlier and it was a hard healing process; I was very ready and realistic about the amount of pain I would have, but I was very surprised at how little I felt in comparison. Of course everyone will respond to pain differently, but for anyone that is considering this surgery my experience is that the pain was entirely manageable. My surgeon had told me to keep my post surgical bandages on for 24 hours. Once removed, take a shower and clean the area with a good anti-bacterial soap and put on freshly-cleaned clothes. I was really surprised when the bandages were removed; I was still taped up with steri-strips, but I was expecting to see what I have been referring to as "Frankenstein boobs". Not the case at all. I was definitely able to see what the end product could end up looking like. I'm now two weeks post-op and am finally taking the time to post my review and pictures. I don't have any before pictures besides the ones the surgeon took, and those are currently not on hand - sorry. I'm to the point where my nerves are starting to wake up and am having a lot of sensitivity, but again, not anything that I can't handle. Updated on 13 May 2013: Well, I'm now three weeks post op. I made it through the awful period where my nerves were just starting to "wake up" and I was very over-sensitive. Most of the numbness has also disappeared. Now I'm fighting through the horrible itches! For the most part though, I've had a wonderful recovery. I do need to remind myself to be delicate though. Last week, I woke up to my alarm and twisted around, very groggy, to try to turn it off and ended up feeling a shooting pain through my left breast. I called my surgeon and they thought that I had probably torn a bit of the scar tissue, but as long as swelling, bruising, or drainage didn't go up, they said it was nothing too serious. It just goes to show though how very simple movements can really affect you in a big way when you're in recovery. I think it will still be a couple weeks before normal exercise feels like a possibility. . . which is a shame. I've really missed my workout routine. I've been having these great little moments when I realize how liberating it has been for me to loose some major girth off my bust. The other day I was at work and noticed I was slouching, so I decided to sit up . . . and it was so easy! And when I sit up, I don't feel like I'm pushing my chest way out like some [RS bleep] trying to get attention. I didn't realize just how much strain was there. And the shopping has been amazing! I've gone bananas for blazers! I've never been able to wear them before because they looked completely wrong on me. If I found something that fit through my bust, it was huge in my waist. I know you can pay to have a blazer tailored, but it was hard to even imagine someone making a blazer look right on me before. I now own four and will probably purchase more in the near future! And my boobs are starting to feel like boobs again. They were so swollen and hard before that they felt completely fake. It's nice to feel them and know that they're going to be like a real breast. Week three has been very good! Updated on 14 May 2013: I've been poking around a little bit and it seems like a lot of the PS that people have worked with have recommended taping the incisions for the first three months to promote good healing of the scars. I'm feeling a little apprehensive now; my PS told me to just concentrate on healing for the first month and to not tape or use silicon strips. I'm sure every treatment philosophy is different, but I just want my final results to be as fantastic as some that I've seen here. Updated on 15 May 2013: My insurance covered most of the charges related to my surgery. All I had to pay was a $300 deductible. I finally just got in the last payment detail and between the facility and the doctor's fees the total cost was $12,186.55! WHEW!!! That's way more than I feel I ever could have saved to do on my own. I'm so thankful to my insurance company for making it a very positive experience. Updated on 22 May 2013: I will be 5 weeks post op this Friday and my next follow up appointment is tomorrow. I really need to try to remember to ask the surgeon for my pre op photos so I can actually post a proper before on here! I've also been really concerned about how my scarring is coming along. I look at some of the pictures on here and see some pictures of other people 5 weeks post op or less and the incisions that look really great are the ones that have been taped from the beginning. My surgeon told me in my first post-op appointment that the incisions will probably heal into ropey-looking scars at first, but will fade after time. He seemed very nonchalant about the scarring. My mother had a breast reduction about 5 years ago and she healed astoundingly well! I can't even see any scars from her surgery; not just that her scars are fine but it literally looks like nothing was ever done. So maybe because of that history he's not overly concerned. However, I had an appendectomy two years ago and I still have a noticeable scar from that; not over the top but it may be an indication that I will not heal nearly as well as my mother did. My mom said that all she did was massage the scars and use lotion and got her great results. I didn't do any kind of scar intervention on my appy incision. My husband keeps reminding me that it's a long healing process. I know that it can take up to a year for you to look the way you're going to look, but I'm still worried. I feel like early scar intervention will yield the best results. It's still all been totally worth it, but I guess my vanity gets the better of me sometimes. . . . Updated on 24 May 2013: I had my 5 week post op appointment and it went very well. My surgeon said that I could start using the gel strips and gave me a prescription. Feeling very relieved. He also stated I'm cleared for all exercise!!!!! So excited to go to one of my classes this week. I just need to only do what I can do. Also, I found out how much was taken out during surgery; about 1 lb from each breast. If felt like more! And I also saw my before pictures and was surprised at how quickly I had forgotten what I looked like. Of course I've been spending a lot of time looking at the new knockers, so I guess seeing the old ones could be a surprise to anyone. Updated on 24 May 2013: I've gotten to the point where I was wanting to have a little more support and separation again. And my surgeon said that it was okay at this point to go back to wearing a normal underwire bra. So off to Victoria's Secret I went! It took awhile to find my new size, but it appears that the new gals measure in at a 32 DD. I know it's not that big because I have a small band size, but I'm relieved that I ended up where I did. There was a fear that I would be too small after surgery, but my surgeon landed me right where I wanted to be! So much fun to shop tonight! Updated on 25 May 2013: Updated on 3 Jun 2013: Well, I was cleared by my PS to start using some of the silicone scar strips, but I found it really hard to do the shopping. There seemed to be a lot of different options out the market, but I found it hard to understand the qualities of the different products. I really wanted to get a scar strip that was self adhesive vs something that you need to tape on, but a lot of the shopping sights did not offer a great description of how to actually apply or reuse the scar sheet. Maybe I'm a dullard for being so worried about it, but I want a scar strip that's going to do as much as possible for my scars. Well, anyway, I ended up going with the Scar FX post mastoplexy strips. They are anchor-shaped, self adhesive, and are very large which is great because you can trim them to the perfect size for your breast. And they stick very well. You're also able to wash them without them loosing their adhesive capabilities, which is very nice because they are kind of gnarly after 8 hours of wear. They've already helped though! Under my armpits, is where my scars were the most harsh . . . very rigid and raised. I've only been using the scar sheets for about a week now and they have really flattened out the scars. After seeing so many people taping after only a week I was so worried that waiting a month would mean that scar treatment would be less effective for me. Feeling very relieved and optimistic. Updated on 16 Jun 2013: Well, last time I went to my PS for a follow up visit, I asked for my before pictures. They very graciously printed them off and mailed them out. However, because they were printed, the images had to be scanned back into my computer, so they're a little grainy. Sorry about the quality, but you can definitely get an idea of my size starting out. I was a little stunned to see these . . . how quickly we forget! They were obviously far too large for my small frame. I"ll try to get my two month post ops posted before too much longer. Hubs and I are going to Vegas this weekend so they will have to wait. I still wake up every day feeling thrilled with getting to put on my new, smaller bras. I've even worn one of those support tanks for biking and it fits beautifully! For all the pain and angst I felt in making this decision, this will forever be one of the best decisions I've ever made!
There do seem to be areas of excessive swelling and other areas of over-thinning and skin redundancy. Things will settle down relatively rapidly over the next several weeks - then more slowly over the next few months. There will likely be some un-evenness that might be helped by careful fat grafting, skin re-draping, or other adjustments. However, do not have any revision done before all the tissues are soft and pliable. This may take 4-6 months.
