21, 5'4" 44L/M. Nevada County CA

So im 21 years old, and ive known since I was 14...

So im 21 years old, and ive known since I was 14 that something needed to be done. I told doctors from 15-20 years old that my back hurt, that my boobs had sores. That my skin couldnt keep up with how fast I was growing. I cracked and bled for months. I went from a B to a DD in one summer. The only person that believed me and tried to help was my dad, a single father who had no idea what else to do. Until I finally found someone to listen.

By then I was almost 21, and my hands and arms are going numb. No visible bone damage, some days I cant get out of bed, I cant survive without muscle relaxers and a heating pad....huh. I wonder why. I didnt gain weight until I was 16, when the pain got too much and I was a J cup. I stopped running. I walked. My hypothyroidism kicked in from dads side of the family. Add in the birth control shot and I exploded to 312 lbs. I've been trying so gard to lose weight. Ive gotten down to 289 lbs, with the help of thyroid medicine and a change in birth control. Ive stuck here for six months, all the time while doctors are trying to tell me that my back problems are stemmed from my fat.

So I switched drs. She went to do my female exam, to do the breast check abd she could hardly feel around. She asked what size I was and asked tentatively if I had considered reduction.

I started crying. I told her that was all I had ever wanted. So here I am, the night before my first consultation with a plastic surgeon. I know shes going to tell me to lose weight. Im going tovtell her I cannot until I lose the boobs. I want to be a DDD again. I cant wait to not have to buy shirts that are three sizes too big. I cant wait to not have to spend $45-80 on a single bra. I cant wait to not have numb hands and I cant wait to be able to go to work abd not have to lean on the counter, the wall or sit down every few minutes because my back hurts. I cant wait. I need this soooo bad. I hope my medical can cover it. Or at least 80% of it. Ill happily pay off the last couple thousand if it means less pain, less time in bed. More ability to exercise without having to stop because they slammed against you and knocked the wind out of you, or they jump and hurt. Please. Please, let it come before the end of the year. I dont want to be put on disability before I even turn 25. I dobt want to be at risk durning pregnancy later in life.because of my back being deteriorated because if boobs. Because thats how its going.

Oh gods, I hope she can help.

Id love any advice anyone has for me. Any tips or help.

first consultation

So I went and saw Dr Skiles today. She was great! We talked for a while, about my concerns, my fears, what would happen, how it would go, what may happen.

She told me what I feared most. I would most likely never be able to breastfeed. This sucks. Ive always thought that breastfeeding was the most awesome and natural thing, a deep connection with your child. Its just something ive always taken for granted. And knowing now that I most likely will NEVER be able to hits hard.

But I'm going to do it. I need to. She said shed send out the photos to the insurance company, and I should hear back from her and them within 4-6 weeks.

If its a yes, then I'll have my surgery before summer is over. Its happening so fast.


Also, the idea of not being allowed to go without a bra for six months or more, and being out of work for about 2-4 weeks, thats daunting and im really worried about that.

And to top it off, my other half (hes not really my boyfriend but kind of) hes acting like its sacrilege and freaking out. Im almost at the point if telling him to just back off and go away permanently this time. He doesnt seem to understand just how much pain im in. All he sees is....boobs. Giant fleshy tits that "God gave me for a reason".

Its really frustrating for me to try and do this with him causing issues. Im already stressed enough and scared as it is.

Im crossing my fingers and praying that all goes quickly, and smoothly, and without problems.

SQUEEEEE!

So I called my insurance company for a transportation log for reimbursement for my family driving me everywhere (CA Health and Wellness is awesome) and I've got that on the way, and I asked them to check on my file to see if my paperwork had come in and it did!!! I should know in 5-8 days if/when my surgery is going to be.

They said itll ve FULLY COVERED and no copays or anything like that, and my mind is blown. I'm nervous and excited and scared and happy all at once.

I should have, by my thinking, a smaller set of boobs by August or September! I cant wait!

so if this works...

Then this is me, in all my giant L cup glory. Goodness it was so hard taking photos. And as it is, I never got all of the boobies photographed. My arms arent long enough hahaha.

*sigh* yes, I'm big. Yes, I've tried to lose weight. I have a thyroid issue, and bodily injuries that caused me to gain weight. I've changed my medications several times, and my diet a million times. I obsessively keep track, which makes it so much worse.

Anyway, I really hope this all falls into place soon!!!

I need bra advice, ladies! :)

So what types of post-op bras worked best? Im hoping to go down to a DD/DDD (from an M!) anddI'd love to hear your input on the best bras for compression, the bras that worked for you, how theu felt, how they fit, etc.

I'd LOVE any advice. Any at all. Thanks ladies!!!

10+ hours In a bra

Isnt it pretty? This is what my underbust looks like after every day.

I will NEVER miss this. It feels like the weight of my boobies are trying to cut my skin open and it hurts so badly. :(

My PS Dr Skiles called today and left a voicemail on my phone. I was at work and by the time I got onto my lunch break it was way too late to call back (I work nights in fast food). So I will call her back tomorrow and see whats up!!! They said it was about my insurance application, so hopefully its my YES! *fingers crossed, ladies*

I will update tomorrow with news! :)

APPROVED!!

So sometime in August is when I'll have my surgery. They wanted to get me in next month, but my dad won't be able to help me until August. Hes trying to kick his jerkoff room renter out of his house to have a safer environment for himself.

I'm hoping for the middle of the month, so I can get everything finished and save as much as possible, and get the disability paperwork squared away so I wont be freaking out about rent while I'm going through the surgery.

Okay ladies, I NEED HELP. What bras did you guys get and what sizes and stuff? I haven't worn a D or DD since 8th grade and have no idea what a M, XL or if a 44 will get as big as a D or DD. I'm so confused.....

Thoughts.

I've been thinking. Just odd thoughts.

If she REALLY does take half, then I'll be at a DD/DDD, and forgive me, but I can't, for the life of me, understand the size difference. Actually, I kind of can, but its been 8 years since I was that size, even as I was jumping and skipping sizes like mad when I was 12-14. I swear, you could fit a medium to large watermelon in my current bra, (size M, sized correctly) and still have room. I think my boobs each weigh about 3-4 pounds each right now. Eeek.

Wow. Just wow. Haha. I find myself obsessively looking at surgical bras, sports bras, bras in general, thinking, "Oh.....wow, will I fit in that?! That's awesome!"

Somehow this all feels so surreal, at least until my headache starts up and my back screams in pain and pops like rice crispies. Then I come crashing to earth and realize it IS real, and I'm 2 1/2 months from my life being changed forever!

Also, I realized that after my surgery I will fit into an XL or 1X tshirt!!!! Squee! I'm wearing 2X-3X right now.

Wow. :)

Scheduled for AUGUST 13!!

Im so scared and excited and happy right now. I just can't sit still!

My pre-op is on August 4, so then ill be able to do everything I need to do and apply for disability for the 2+ weeks I'll be out of work and have Dr Skiles fill out her portion and hopefully ill be able to pay rent and such.

Also, one of her previous patients said YES to chatting with me on the phone about her reduction surgery she had in February. Shes about my age and SUPER friendly! I got so lucky!

So August here I come!!!! Eee!

Two months to go!

I wake up and look at todays date and realize that I have only two months left! Yaaay!

I cant tell you how excited and nervous I am, but I'm sure all you ladies completely understand exactly how i feel. It feels like time has slowed down to a crawl and almost stopped these last three weeks.

Depression has been grabbing me lately, and I'm trying not to let it affect me so much but its difficult. I just hope that time starts moving again soon and it'll be time to go to my pre-op.

These marks under my breasts from a few posts ago keep getting deeper and deeper and more red and I'm scared that the underwire that lays on my skin under my boobs will cut my skin, so I've had to wrap Ace bandages around my torso to cushion the underwire, and its helped, at least for now.

I also was going through boxes yesterday and found one of my old XL Champion sports bras! That was unexpected and exciting, to see that I actually might fit in that! I'm definitely taking it with me for my recovery vacation.

Well, thats all the news ive got for now. I have to go get ready for work and just hope that time moves faster. :)

Boredom/bra silliness

Hopefully 3rd times a charm! I keep trying to post but my phone is ridiculous and I dont have a computer.

As of my update this morning, I have exactly 50 days until my surgery. I wish time would move faster. More and more I hurt, I think my body knows whats coming so its starting to give me as much crap as possible before I enact my revenge on August 13th.

So heres some photos of my surgical bra, and the wonderful book I happened to find on Amazon that is AWESOME!!! I love this book!!!

Im off to dreamland, since I work a late shift tonight. Have a great day ladies!

More fun to add to the pot. Anxiety and depression......

Its been a rough few weeks. The anxiety is getting to me. Trying to save up so I can safely take a few weeks off work and still pay all my bills and trying to apply for disability and not being able to... Figuring out who is taking me where and what's going to happen...

I'm so close and yet so far.

I went to my normal dr on monday (todays Friday) and was prescribed Zoloft for depression and an anxiety medication that I cannot pronounce. The Zoloft is wreaking havoc on me, making me sleepy and lethargic and a human zombie 18 hours a day and the anxiety meds are a godsend.

I'm trying, but its just so difficult. And to add to the pot again, I met an amazing someone who has helped me through two anxiety attacks and has been wonderful to me these past weeks.

I'm lost, but Im still working my way through. I cant believe its less than a month away!!!! Eeek!

At this point I'm less excited and more scared/nervous.

I dont know
Sacramento Plastic Surgeon

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I'm truly so excited for you! I'm 10 days post op and looking at your pictures reminds me of myself. Especially those ones with the marking on your stomach from where your bra dug in. I just got my official number of how much they removed total and it was 5.6lbs! You are going to feel so great right away. The recovery can seem like a lot at first, but for me it's nothing in comparison to the daily pain and discomfort of what I had before. I'll be following your story :)
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I read your story a few days ago and I got excited. I was teary when I read your story about the bra shop, especially because I remember feeling exactly the same way. I wish you the very very best in your healing, and will definitely continue to check in on your story now and again. Im really glad that you posted your story because then I can see how you healed and how you feel it's really helpful to see someone was almost as big as I am and go through healing so beautifully. I hope that I can have that. 51 days left until these torture devices are gone.
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Also, Ace bandages are AMAZING. I keep one wrapped around my torso, cushioning my underwire and keeping it from cutting my skin. I was terrified that it'd actually split my skin open with how red and raw and deep the marks are. It scared me.
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Thats a good idea i nevr thought of an ace bandage but these wil b things of the past. Is ur date confirmed yet?
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I have a little raised mole that sits right on that line that my bra would cut in on me And that little mole was like a constant scab, irritated and itchy. I can say it's totally healed now and nothing sits on it!!! Hurray!!!
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Ace bandage a great idea!
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Idk wat bra size i'm n now las time i bought a bra(long time ago)i was a DD i decided not to buy bras anymore their r not the pretty ones for us biggies they dnt hav bows,n pretty lacework,beautiful colors most bras for us biggies cost more n r basic colors,n that wire thing n the middle cums almost up to ya throat-hello PLAYTEX! My shoulders hav no fat in the groove area its down to the bone.
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Good for you! My preop is june 30th n my sx is july 11 im excited,scared too but gravity is only gna make it worse i stoppd buyin bras idk wat size i am i dnt wna knw i was told to lose wight also im considering doin a fast cleanse rite bfore the big day but i excercise alot alredy n eat rite most of the time i hav nevr worn a bikini even wen i was alot smallr ik wat its like2hav to buy the big shirts only bcuz ur breasts cant fit shirts that r ur regular size.
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congratulations! sounds like your life is really going to change after your surgery. happy for you:)
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I'm glad that you have found us here ! Read Lots of People's Reviews as there is LOTS of GREAT ADVICE and SUPPORT here ! You will be SO HAPPY - after a Reduction ! NO MORE BACK & NECK & SHOULDER PAIN ! I had My BR on March 5th. All of My Pains went away the DAY AFTER Surgery ! I have had Chronic Pain and also have Fibro = since 1989 ! It was like someone took a Magic Wand and waved it over me - and said * POOF * ! No More Migraines either ! It has been very nice !
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Amazing! Im so glad to read everyone's reviews as well. Im SOOOO happy I found this community! Do you gave any suggestions on a post surgery bra?
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On this site you may be able to find before and after pictures of someone who is of similar build to you and has had a similar size of reduction. I went from UK G to DD. I am sure you will be happy with any result that gets you down at least 5 cup sizes. Good luck
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I REEEEAAAALLY want to be a DD. Or a really small DDD. :)
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I pray you will get the news that you have been approved. I'm certain you will be. God bless you darling!! Let us know :))
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Has anyone else been harassed by someone supposedly wanting to buy pre-op photos? Ive been messaged twice by the same person and its getting annoying.
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Please report them to the admin Kimmers and she will get them off the site.
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I did, and she blocked him from this site, thank goodness.
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I'm so happy for you, i can't wait to see your results. I felt a little emotional reading your story and everything! Please, i know it is none of my business, but do not let a man try to talk you out of this. If he knows about the pain you're in, it's very selfish of him to expect you to put up with that so he can have a girlfriend with large breasts. You're going to look and feel amazing :)
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He decided to go overboard with the whole, "God made you this way" thing. And he flat stopped talking to me after I told him id probably never be able to breastfeed. So I told him he couldn't be in my life anymore. Im lucky ill be able to stay with my dad post surgery. Being a single father, he saw me grow up and got worried when I grew so fast. Hes an amazing dad :)
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Oh, bless your dad. It's so good that you have him as an example to see how a man that loves you and cares about you acts. It shows how self centered this boyfriend is. You deserve better. XXX
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Oh yeah the ex is gone. No contact for over a week now. Its nice not feeling so stressed out about what hes going to do or say next. And dad is trying to get his house into shape and in woworking order for me to come down. Its hard on him, because he is disabled after a work incident. But hes awesome :)
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You deserve better, the ex should stay an ex. you will be so confident and happy after your op that you will meet the right person. the chances of you breastfeeding with such large breasts are very low anyway and if you did do it, it could make your problem ever worse. A bottle fed baby with a happy mother able physically to play and run around is much more important than breastfeeding!!!!!
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you will find it so much easier to lose weight and exercise post op, good luck
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Thank you :) I'm hoping it will be easier. I'm looking forward to hearing back from my insurance company. Hopefully that'll be soon!
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That's wonderful news!!
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