21, 5'4" 44L/M. Nevada County CA

So im 21 years old, and ive known since I was 14 that something needed to be done. I told doctors from 15-20 years old that my back hurt, that my boobs had sores. That my skin couldnt keep up with how fast I was growing. I cracked and bled for months. I went from a B to a DD in one summer. The only person that believed me and tried to help was my dad, a single father who had no idea what else to do. Until I finally found someone to listen.

By then I was almost 21, and my hands and arms are going numb. No visible bone damage, some days I cant get out of bed, I cant survive without muscle relaxers and a heating pad....huh. I wonder why. I didnt gain weight until I was 16, when the pain got too much and I was a J cup. I stopped running. I walked. My hypothyroidism kicked in from dads side of the family. Add in the birth control shot and I exploded to 312 lbs. I've been trying so gard to lose weight. Ive gotten down to 289 lbs, with the help of thyroid medicine and a change in birth control. Ive stuck here for six months, all the time while doctors are trying to tell me that my back problems are stemmed from my fat.

So I switched drs. She went to do my female exam, to do the breast check abd she could hardly feel around. She asked what size I was and asked tentatively if I had considered reduction.

I started crying. I told her that was all I had ever wanted. So here I am, the night before my first consultation with a plastic surgeon. I know shes going to tell me to lose weight. Im going tovtell her I cannot until I lose the boobs. I want to be a DDD again. I cant wait to not have to buy shirts that are three sizes too big. I cant wait to not have to spend $45-80 on a single bra. I cant wait to not have numb hands and I cant wait to be able to go to work abd not have to lean on the counter, the wall or sit down every few minutes because my back hurts. I cant wait. I need this soooo bad. I hope my medical can cover it. Or at least 80% of it. Ill happily pay off the last couple thousand if it means less pain, less time in bed. More ability to exercise without having to stop because they slammed against you and knocked the wind out of you, or they jump and hurt. Please. Please, let it come before the end of the year. I dont want to be put on disability before I even turn 25. I dobt want to be at risk durning pregnancy later in life.because of my back being deteriorated because if boobs. Because thats how its going.

Oh gods, I hope she can help.

Id love any advice anyone has for me. Any tips or help.

So I went and saw Dr Skiles today. She was great! We talked for a while, about my concerns, my fears, what would happen, how it would go, what may happen.

She told me what I feared most. I would most likely never be able to breastfeed. This sucks. Ive always thought that breastfeeding was the most awesome and natural thing, a deep connection with your child. Its just something ive always taken for granted. And knowing now that I most likely will NEVER be able to hits hard.

But I'm going to do it. I need to. She said shed send out the photos to the insurance company, and I should hear back from her and them within 4-6 weeks.

If its a yes, then I'll have my surgery before summer is over. Its happening so fast.


Also, the idea of not being allowed to go without a bra for six months or more, and being out of work for about 2-4 weeks, thats daunting and im really worried about that.

And to top it off, my other half (hes not really my boyfriend but kind of) hes acting like its sacrilege and freaking out. Im almost at the point if telling him to just back off and go away permanently this time. He doesnt seem to understand just how much pain im in. All he sees is....boobs. Giant fleshy tits that "God gave me for a reason".

Its really frustrating for me to try and do this with him causing issues. Im already stressed enough and scared as it is.

Im crossing my fingers and praying that all goes quickly, and smoothly, and without problems.

So I called my insurance company for a transportation log for reimbursement for my family driving me everywhere (CA Health and Wellness is awesome) and I've got that on the way, and I asked them to check on my file to see if my paperwork had come in and it did!!! I should know in 5-8 days if/when my surgery is going to be.

They said itll ve FULLY COVERED and no copays or anything like that, and my mind is blown. I'm nervous and excited and scared and happy all at once.

I should have, by my thinking, a smaller set of boobs by August or September! I cant wait!

Then this is me, in all my giant L cup glory. Goodness it was so hard taking photos. And as it is, I never got all of the boobies photographed. My arms arent long enough hahaha.

*sigh* yes, I'm big. Yes, I've tried to lose weight. I have a thyroid issue, and bodily injuries that caused me to gain weight. I've changed my medications several times, and my diet a million times. I obsessively keep track, which makes it so much worse.

Anyway, I really hope this all falls into place soon!!!

So what types of post-op bras worked best? Im hoping to go down to a DD/DDD (from an M!) anddI'd love to hear your input on the best bras for compression, the bras that worked for you, how theu felt, how they fit, etc.

I'd LOVE any advice. Any at all. Thanks ladies!!!

Isnt it pretty? This is what my underbust looks like after every day.

I will NEVER miss this. It feels like the weight of my boobies are trying to cut my skin open and it hurts so badly. :(

My PS Dr Skiles called today and left a voicemail on my phone. I was at work and by the time I got onto my lunch break it was way too late to call back (I work nights in fast food). So I will call her back tomorrow and see whats up!!! They said it was about my insurance application, so hopefully its my YES! *fingers crossed, ladies*

I will update tomorrow with news! :)

So sometime in August is when I'll have my surgery. They wanted to get me in next month, but my dad won't be able to help me until August. Hes trying to kick his jerkoff room renter out of his house to have a safer environment for himself.

I'm hoping for the middle of the month, so I can get everything finished and save as much as possible, and get the disability paperwork squared away so I wont be freaking out about rent while I'm going through the surgery.

Okay ladies, I NEED HELP. What bras did you guys get and what sizes and stuff? I haven't worn a D or DD since 8th grade and have no idea what a M, XL or if a 44 will get as big as a D or DD. I'm so confused.....

I've been thinking. Just odd thoughts.

If she REALLY does take half, then I'll be at a DD/DDD, and forgive me, but I can't, for the life of me, understand the size difference. Actually, I kind of can, but its been 8 years since I was that size, even as I was jumping and skipping sizes like mad when I was 12-14. I swear, you could fit a medium to large watermelon in my current bra, (size M, sized correctly) and still have room. I think my boobs each weigh about 3-4 pounds each right now. Eeek.

Wow. Just wow. Haha. I find myself obsessively looking at surgical bras, sports bras, bras in general, thinking, "Oh.....wow, will I fit in that?! That's awesome!"

Somehow this all feels so surreal, at least until my headache starts up and my back screams in pain and pops like rice crispies. Then I come crashing to earth and realize it IS real, and I'm 2 1/2 months from my life being changed forever!

Also, I realized that after my surgery I will fit into an XL or 1X tshirt!!!! Squee! I'm wearing 2X-3X right now.

Wow. :)

Im so scared and excited and happy right now. I just can't sit still!

My pre-op is on August 4, so then ill be able to do everything I need to do and apply for disability for the 2+ weeks I'll be out of work and have Dr Skiles fill out her portion and hopefully ill be able to pay rent and such.

Also, one of her previous patients said YES to chatting with me on the phone about her reduction surgery she had in February. Shes about my age and SUPER friendly! I got so lucky!

So August here I come!!!! Eee!

I wake up and look at todays date and realize that I have only two months left! Yaaay!

I cant tell you how excited and nervous I am, but I'm sure all you ladies completely understand exactly how i feel. It feels like time has slowed down to a crawl and almost stopped these last three weeks.

Depression has been grabbing me lately, and I'm trying not to let it affect me so much but its difficult. I just hope that time starts moving again soon and it'll be time to go to my pre-op.

These marks under my breasts from a few posts ago keep getting deeper and deeper and more red and I'm scared that the underwire that lays on my skin under my boobs will cut my skin, so I've had to wrap Ace bandages around my torso to cushion the underwire, and its helped, at least for now.

I also was going through boxes yesterday and found one of my old XL Champion sports bras! That was unexpected and exciting, to see that I actually might fit in that! I'm definitely taking it with me for my recovery vacation.

Well, thats all the news ive got for now. I have to go get ready for work and just hope that time moves faster. :)

Hopefully 3rd times a charm! I keep trying to post but my phone is ridiculous and I dont have a computer.

As of my update this morning, I have exactly 50 days until my surgery. I wish time would move faster. More and more I hurt, I think my body knows whats coming so its starting to give me as much crap as possible before I enact my revenge on August 13th.

So heres some photos of my surgical bra, and the wonderful book I happened to find on Amazon that is AWESOME!!! I love this book!!!

Im off to dreamland, since I work a late shift tonight. Have a great day ladies!

Its been a rough few weeks. The anxiety is getting to me. Trying to save up so I can safely take a few weeks off work and still pay all my bills and trying to apply for disability and not being able to... Figuring out who is taking me where and what's going to happen...

I'm so close and yet so far.

I went to my normal dr on monday (todays Friday) and was prescribed Zoloft for depression and an anxiety medication that I cannot pronounce. The Zoloft is wreaking havoc on me, making me sleepy and lethargic and a human zombie 18 hours a day and the anxiety meds are a godsend.

I'm trying, but its just so difficult. And to add to the pot again, I met an amazing someone who has helped me through two anxiety attacks and has been wonderful to me these past weeks.

I'm lost, but Im still working my way through. I cant believe its less than a month away!!!! Eeek!

At this point I'm less excited and more scared/nervous.

I dont know