Going in Today 7/9/12 for my Explant Surgery - Woodbury, NY

Ive had these weights on my chest for 8 years and I have never had the money or guts to take them out. I had money saved up when I was recently pregnant but when I miscarried I figured its now or never so I used the $ for the surgery instead. I already nursed one child (not 3) and they were enormous and painful. I started off with an A cup and when I was 24 I went for my surgery. I wish someone had told me not to, but to be honest, I never told anyone I was doing it. It was a very impulsive move. They first surgery brought bad results. So what do I do? Go back to the same butcher to "fix" them. Lets just say, the "small C" he told me I would have, was a DD. I have never been so insecure and embarrassed. I literally wear hoodies in the summer to hide. Thank God my husband is supportive. He's not a boob man I guess. So today I go in to get these things out. I took pictures. I will post the afters as I go. I know my courage came from the brave women on Real Self. It was always something I needed to do, but I finally am doing it.

I had some gramatical erors in the last post. My son is "NOW 3". Anyway, I feel great. My incision area hurts but when the drain tubes comeout Im sure the pain will be gone. I am happy. I am excited to buy new clothes and bras. I will put new pics on in a few days. I want to go to sleep but I drank a large iced coffee after the surgery since I couldnt drink for so long. Now I am wide awake.

I will get the pics taken in a day or two. I was able to shower and get the tubes out today. I just dont want to discourage anyone. They are wrinkled from being so stretched out. I feel like I should wait til they have some life before I scare women who are on the fence. But give me a day. I havent let my husband look head on at me yet and I had Him take the last pics. I personally am happy and feel light and free. I just think that after being insecure for so long with these giant boobs and hiding behind clothes, my brain is all messed up. The funny thing is, I never discussed getting the initial surgery with my parents and they never commented on my newly giant boobs. Maybe they never said anything to me because they didnt want to embarass me but now its is once again obvious that there has been a change. I dont know why I care. I have brainwashed myself. I know they are going to love me regardless. I feel like this website is going to be a therapy for me. I apologize in advance if I get too deep. I have body issues that are deep seeded. Thank you to all.

Well, brace yourself everyone. Here are 3 day old pictures. The Dr. said they will look better as time goes. I am only showing everyone because you are all great and seem honest. I dont want to discourage others with these pictures though. I took them myself because I was alone, so the angle might be bad. I will take better ones in a few days. But I feel great, so I figure why not. Theyre flat and saggy as you can see.

I was washing my incisions today and my breasts are so soft in my hands. I cant believe I went so many painful years hiding behind the implants. I am so lucky to have gotten them out when I did. I can enjoy my new body. I made my husband and my 3 year old son touch them too. To all those women on the fence, this is definetly the right decision. I only wish I would have done it sooner.

I will post some pics this week of my 2 week post op. I went into Victorias secret today just to see what I MIGHT fit into. I am very confused. I left without an answer. I think ill just stay in sports bras forever. The ends of the sutured that stuck out the sides were cut last week but it seems there is a little piece sticking out that they missed and its irritating me. It wont heal unless I get it cut out, so ill go tomorrow first thing.
SO, I am still happy with my decision. I think I look fine in clothes. Flat but fine. Im getting used to the naked breasts. I knoqw when I am able to exercise again, I will build up my chest. Its sorta concaved now, which isnt helping the situation. I didnt really ask my husband to elaborate on the "They Look Fine" when he saw me naked, but he can leave if hes not happy. I dont know what to say. Thats a whole thing in itself. Boobs or no boobs. They didnt make our relationship better or worse. I was unhappy. Ive actually been wearing more flattering things than Ive ever worn with the giant masses. I cut carbs out (mostly) and am getting thinner to fit my newly small bust. I mean, I cant be pear shape, so I HAD to lose pounds. My job is still keeping me out "sick" for 2 more weeks. I appreciate it. I need time to get used to myself before I go into work. I just want to look my best.
Still havent seem or told my family. Just my sisters. It will be obvious when people DO see me, and I know its unavoidable. I guess I am just shy and insecure around certain people and situations. Its too much to get into now. I should be laying on a couch rattling this off. Thanks everyone. PIctures very soon.

I just have to say, before you go ordering bras online without trying them on, and assuming you know what size you will be, I went to kohls the other day and spent a considerable amout of time trying on bras. I dont know how flat everyone was before, but I have learned that I am NOT fitting in my old bra size. Even close to it. I have extra skin from being stretched out so much, that I am spilling out of the sides of small cups, and I dont fill a bigger cup. I settled for a "Full coverage" C cup right now in the "Candies " brand which is juniors. I tried on probably 50 different bras maybe more, and I left with 2. I never regret my decision though. Just was a frusterating time. My Father knows and is very cool about the whole thing. I was nervous about it for a while. I dont know why I have been so insecure about my body. It makes me sad that I was hiding who I was for so long. Thank God I am free now. I am so done pretending.

Ok, the most recent pic was just taken today 8/10. I couldnt get side shots because my camera kept steaming up from the shower. I think my breasts are tightening up a little. Maybe its just in my head. Im not sure. But Ive gotten used to them and Im very happy. The bra situation was a little rough, and still is, but I found a bra I love. Its called "simply perfect" by Warners. Its the "Invisible Under Clothes " bra. It has a soft cup. No wire. I dont exactly fill out the whole "C" cup so I am going to try for a "B". I got them at Target. I wore a bra to work with underwire and I was so irritated. My incisions seem healed but are still very sensitive. Once I get the OK to start doing pushups and working out, I will build my chest up, Its still concave from not having the massive implant under my muscle. Im sure the bras will fill out better when my chst is build up a little. My chest feels funny when I scrub the bath tub. These muscles have alot of healing to do.

ok, well 3 and a half months later I am still 100% sure I did the right thing. I really havent been lifting weights or jogging like I had planned, so I know my chest could look better, but I do push ups here and there when I am not utterly exhausted from my job. I have more confidence now, with my small flat breasts that I did with the 2 giant mounds. I feel like I can wear anything, and I will look sexy rather than whorish. Thank you to the support I found on this site.