Puffy, swollen, sunken eyes from botox with eye bags - horrific disfigurement. Likely permanent.

Well, here I sit looking like an absolute monster...

Well, here I sit looking like an absolute monster and having doctor after doctor lie to my face and say it is NOT from the botox.

I am beyond frustrated and absolutely furious.

4 days ago, I was a normal 28 year old woman with BRIGHT eyes and a few wrinkles in my forehead. 21 units of botox later, I cannot even recognize myself. I look hideous, angry, old, and I am scared to death that I will never be able to leave my house again.

I have spent several hours scouring the internet, praying for something to just help the slightest bit. It seems that there are tons and tons and tons of women suffering from the same side effect - yet doctors want to lie and say it is not from the botox or that this occurrence is "rare". I posted my picture on another website and was told that I needed an upper eye lift and that there was no way my new found jabba the hut look was from botox.  There are tens of thousands of women on these forums suffering from drooping eyelids - and those are just the ones taking the time to actually come online and write about it... imagine how many just suffer in silence. Even if they do complain to the doctor, I would bet my first born that these doctors are not rushing to report the side effects. At best, the statistics showing that eyelid drooping is "rare" is inaccurate... but I think it is just a blatant lie. Greedy doctors wanna sweep this under the rug so that it won’t decrease their sales. It makes me absolutely sick.
Enough with my venting, I will document my suffering, and hopefully my progress. I will detail what I do on a day to day basis and take pictures as I go. I am praying that my eyes will return to normal and that by sharing my experience, I can help others or at least educate them. If you have had this happen to you, please give me some hope that my face will become my own again. For as many women as I see on here telling their horror stories, seldom come back to update their progress.

UPDATE: So, today makes my one week post botox...

UPDATE: So, today makes my one week post botox injections. While I still have a long road to travel, I am looking slightly less freakish :).

Here is what I have been doing:

1.) Apraclonidine eye drops - expensive and ineffective for my situation. Apparently, these drops will not help if your saggy eyelids are caused from dropping eyebrows (like mine). They only offer relief for actually eyelid drooping. I was desperate, so I gave it a try. Fail.

2.) I started boiling water on the stove in a pot and "steaming" my face by placing a towel over my head while holding my face over the water. I move my eyebrows as much as I possibly during the steaming. I have done this 3x per day for 10 minutes each time and I swear that this has HELPED! I have more movement in my brow and the drooping has shown some minimal improvement.

3.) Every spare minute of the day, I have been "exercising" my forehead by raising my eyebrows up as high as possible and holding them in place. I also massage my forehead muscles. I am not certain that this is helping, but I have noticed I have more movement in my forehead. I think I may actually be strengthening other muscles in my forehead that were unaffected by the botox (not the ones that were paralyzed) and they are helping to lift my brows.

4.) Great ready for this one..... during the day..... I have been using scotch tape to take my brows in place. I leave them taped up as high as I can for as long as possible. I think this s helping as well and I am fairly certain that this is also strengthening muscles that were previous dormant.

5.) I noticed that my eyes were WAY worse in the morning. They feel "squishy" - like they are filled with fluid. I read that botox can cause transient fat to sag around the eye which in turn causes issues with your eyes lymphatic draining. Once you are up, with the assistance of gravity, the fluid slowly drains. I am no doctor, but I think this is exactly what is happening to me. So, I have been sleeping nearly upright. It is not the most comfortable position in the world, but it has HELPED! I wake up looking less puffy.

So, while I am far from looking like "me", I am excitied to see improvement - even if it is minimal.

I'll update next week :)

So day 8 has NOT been kind to me :'(. I woke up...

so day 8 has NOT been kind to me :'(. I woke up today looking worse than ever. My right eye is much worse than my left - so I look stroke-esque. My 5 year old daughter called me "Monster Mom" jokingly - which made me sob.

I had skipped the tape yesterday because I had been showing some improvement. I woke up today with my forehead feeling completely numb and my brows sagging more than ever. I plan to spend the entire day in tape. I am truly praying I won't get any worse :'(.

Day 11 - I look worse than ever before. Now that...

Day 11 - I look worse than ever before. Now that the botox is really kicking in - any progress I *thought* I was making, has completely vanished and been replaced with an even more horrific look than I could have ever imagined. I had to take a leave of absence from work and I have not left my house in days. Whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I break down and cry. This is not my face. These are not my eyes. I am so depressed and so very angry with myself. I contacted the clinic where I had the injections, and they are insisting that this is not from the botox. Bullcrap. I realized that I forgot to mention that I had been getting botox treatments at another provider for 2 YEARS prior without ANY negative effect - so I am POSITIVE that this is from their incompence. Their only concern was worrying over if I was trying to get a refund out of them... REALLY?!?! I would gladly empty my savings account to have my face back before they butchered it. I never thought the day would come where I was praying to see wrinkles... but I would give anything to have those lines back.

I honestly don't know how I am going to survive the next several months trapped in this monster face. I know is sounds very dramatic - and this is NOT like me - but I am completely immersed in the deepest, darkest depression of my life. I am not sure how much worse it will get before it gets better..... if it gets better :'(. Will I ever get better? I am starting to lose hope so early on. I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. All I can do is pray and wait.

Day 12 - each day I wake to find my face more...

Day 12 - each day I wake to find my face more deformed than the last. The paralysis worsens by the minute, it seems. It's like living in a nightmare that keeps getting worse. My daughter is terrified by my "scary eyes" and doesn't want me near her. That hurts the most. My mom is staying at my house to care for her. I have been unable to eat anything in nearly 48 hours. I feel very weak, but have no
appetite. The headaches that come from trying to keep my eyes open to see are excruciating. Blinding. I've never had headaches before. The paralysis itself is uncomfortable. Outside is a sunny, beautiful day... my mother and my baby are out playing in the pool. I can hear my little girl laughing from my prison of hell. I have been unable to leave my bed except to use the bathroom. If not for my daughter, I don't know what I would do. I've never been depressed before... There is no relief. Only more suffering and I am helpless.

Day 13 - today is a slightly better day.I am still...

Day 13 - today is a slightly better day.I am still looking terrible and feeling cruddy.... but I do feel a little better. My nausea subsided enough to hold down some toast and juice. My headache is still present, but tolerable. The scariest thing that happened to me was waking up with double vision. It has since subsided and I am thinking it was due to fat tissue sagging down on my eye :(. I have also been having what I can only describe as "hot flashes". I had read on other forums that many women experience these symptoms, along with depression, thoughts of suicide, and many, many, many other sytmptoms. I am out of the bed today and was able to shower. Aside from looking like a monster, I feel half human. This is progress for me at this point.

I was told by a plastic surgeon that taking calcium supplements *may* help speed up my bodys ability to metabolize the botox. I have been taking them for 3 days now, and I think I have a little more movement in my forehead. I was told to take no more than 2500 mg of calcium per day. I am not sure if that fluctuates per person or by body weight (I am 5'10" & 130lbs), so if you decide to try taking calcium, you should check with a doctor because you can have too much.

The worse part is not knowing what tomorrow brings. It feels like I wake up with a different face each day. I cannot imagine what women who suffer from permanent facial deformations must feel like :(. I must remember to be grateful that I may get my face back in few months. Staying positive is hard.... even for optimistic people like me with ZERO history of depression. I have been fortunate enough to befriend SEVERAL other women going through the same hell. Having someone to talk to helps. I encouage anyone who is suffering from bad botox to seek out others - they are there - and they understand.

And so, I am one day closer to having botox out of my system. Fingers crossed that tomorrow will be another step towards progress.

Day 18 - I think I have reached the "peak" of the...

Day 18 - I think I have reached the "peak" of the botox. Anything I did or was doing to try to improve it was completely WORTHLESS and a waste of time. It made me feel like I was doing SOMETHING to speed up my recovery and it gave me hope - but it did NOTHING. Botox has destroyed my face and my life. I was forced to resign from my job today when I could not return due to my facial deformities.

My eyes look like I was in the ring with Mike Tyson. The inner corners are so swollen and puffy that it is pushing on my eyes and causing double vision. I think there is actually transient fat that has slipped down. My forehead feels uncomfortably heavy. The headaches have increased and nothing touches the pain. Keeping my eyes open is a constant struggle. My eyes only lift very VERY little on the outer corners, leaving this VERY strange, slanted look on the inner corner of my eyes. My left eye is much worse and to my horror, it appears the entire left side of my face is drooping. I truly look like I had a stroke. My eyes look tiny, beaty, and VERY angry. I look hideous. Honestly, I would rather saw off my toes with a kitchen steak knife than live ONE more day looking like this. I hate waking up in the mornings. I have lost a total of 16 pounds so far - brining my weight to 123 pounds ... at 5'10". I look sickly, monstrous, ugly, old. I have nothing positive to say and no hope left. Back to bed now.

Day 21 - 3 weeks of hell. Could it get any worse?...

Day 21 - 3 weeks of hell. Could it get any worse? Yes. Much worse. I have fat pads seeping out, bulging all around my eye. Somehow, the botox worked it's way UNDER my eyes causing puffing and weird indentation. I am writing this post from my bed and will not be leaving it today. I feel so sick and if you thought any of my pictures looked bad, you should see me now. Honest to god, if my face is not back soon, I will not be able to continue living. I'd rather be dead.

Day 23 - My double vision has subsided some! The...

Day 23 - My double vision has subsided some! The headache is still there, but tolerant today. Appearance wise, I still look like a monster. I am very concerned with the fact that the swelling is from slipped fat pads and not just my brow hanging low. Will that ever go away?

My left eyebrow is quite a bit lower than my right and I figured out why.... when the injector was busy ruining my face, she gave me one final shot up by my hairline on the left. I thought it was strange because I have never been injected there before. I know now that she was just looking to "dump" off the extra botox in the needle so that she could charge me for it and it wouldn't go to waste. Unfortunately for me, that muscle held my left eyebrow up.

I am furious how easy these "providers" can get their hands on botox and be qualified to inject people. I feel the requirements should be FAR more strict. They paint this picture of how safe botox is and how any negative side effects are extremely rare and at worse, quick and temporary. Nobody told me that this could happen to me. I feel that if the makers of botox are going to allow dentists to inject people, they should make an effort to educate people how truly nightmarish the side effects can be. I mean, if botox is so safe and side effects are sooooo rare and temporary, why not go to a dentist? No place in any paperwork that I signed did it say a possible side effect was fat pads sagging down, vision loss, exteme sickness, swollen eyelids, or facial deformities. Maybe I should have read, researched, and investigated.... but honestly, I thought I could trust my doctor. What really upsets me is that my injector is claiming my disfigured face is NOT from botox. She swore up and down that I have a "muscular problem" or some B.S. She told me that my side effects are NOT botox side effects - even though they are LISTED on the botox website as side effects. I do not like being lied to. I told her I planned to sit outside her clinic and her clients could take a look at my face and decide if they thought it was or not. She offered to give me a refund, IF I signed a release from her lawyer saying that I would not talk about my experience. If she did nothing wrong and my face is not deformed from her incompetence - why do I need to sign a gag release? Keep the money. I don't care about it. People deserve to know and she should not be injecting.

I feel like doctors (some, not all) are just dishonest. I feel like they lull people into a false sense of saftey. I feel the doctors who ARE adaquetly trained ONLY acknoweldge side effects from injectors that are not deemed "specialists" because they want to use it as a method to increase their profits - rather than actually caring. I did a little experiment where I posted my pictures/story for doctors to review. In one post, I said it was an LPN that did my injections and I had 9 doctors respond all saying that it was a result of poor techinique and each shaming me for not going to a plasic surgeon or dermatologist. On the second post, I said I was injected by a "well known & repsected plastic surgeon" - and guess what?? I had 16 responses from doctors saying it was clearly NOT a side effect of the botox - one of which whom had responded on my previous post saying it was clearly an injecton. That is what is so disturbing about this. What happened to a code of ethics? Does that go out the window to make a few bucks? Yes. Yes it does. So who Can you trust? Seriously, who?

Day 25 - the middle of my forehead feels like...

Day 25 - the middle of my forehead feels like total dead weight. I have yet to see any improvement. The fat pads are still sagging, especially in the inner corners. I haven't been able to leave my house in nearly a month. I look very pale and very sickly - not counting my horrific eyes. My daughter asks me to wear glasses because my eyes scare her. I am heartbroken that my child fears me because of my monstrous appearance. Sleep is my only escape from the nightmare that is now my life. Waking up and seeing my ted face plummets me into instant depression. My life has been stolen. Other than the people on this site, there is no empathy. People believe I deserve this disfigurement for having been vain enough to get botox. Maybe I do. Believe me, I hate myself for it. Loathe myself. Aside from the physical deformity, I gave suffered an immense deal if medical problems. I feel there is no hope. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. The thought is unbearable... but is coming a reality. I ju. My eyes back.st want my life back. My wrinkles back. I'd give my left hand for the rest of my life to have my face back. I am desperate and falling apart. Please, God, help me.

Day 27 - well, tomorrow will officially be 4 weeks...

Day 27 - well, tomorrow will officially be 4 weeks. I was really hoping to have seen some improvement by now :(. My left eyebrow is significantly lower than the right. Both are swollen almost shut on the inner corners. There is saggy skin that hangs down completely eliminating my upper eyelid.... especially on my left side. The right seems to have more saggy skin however. It's difficult to explain. When I raise my eyebrows.... or at least TRY to raise them... the right has this crazy slant of skin that hangs. I have to blink several times to get the skin to sag back down over the eyelid.

I have completely stopped doing anything to try to speed up the process of the botox. In my prior experiences, botox wore off on me around the second month. I don't think I will be that lucky this time around. If I could see even the slightest hint of improvement, it would make waiting the next couple months tolerable. The thought of never having my face back is what truly grips me with terror. For as many people that I see posting a recovery, I see 10 more that haven't recovered in years. Wondering what catagory I will fall :'(

Day 30 - Well, tomorrow will officially be a month...

Day 30 - Well, tomorrow will officially be a month that I have been suffering through this seemingly never-ending nightmare. I am disheartened to say that I have not had much improvement. The inner corners of my eyes are still bulging, causing a VERY freakish, VERY ugly, appearance. My left eyebrow is still lower than my right as well.... but oddly, my right eye is worse. It is difficult to explain. If I raise my eyebrows, my extremely swollen inner corners do NOT move and the skin sags down causing this weird slanted crease across my eyelid (I tried to take a picture). My forehead is still frozen in the middle and very uncomfortable. I have completely stopped trying to remedy myself and feel I am getting worse. My days consist of blinding headaches caused from straining to move my forehead to keep my eyes open. I do my best to avoid mirrors at all costs. The sight of myself brings me to tears. If I manually raise my eyebrows with my hand, I can see where the fat pads are seeping out around my eye and I am very concerned about this. I understand that my muscles in my forehead will regain their strength as the botox wears off, but will the fat every return to it's orginal position?

1 month - I woke up today and instantly knew...

1 month - I woke up today and instantly knew something was VERY wrong. My eyes felt so heavy that I could barely open them. I was terrifed to look, but could feel that they were more swollen that usual with my fingers. I am going on 5 weeks and not only have I seen NO improvement - I am getting worse. It is becoming reality that I may never get my face back. I cannot live like this.

Day 35 - it has officially been 5 weeks today. No...

Day 35 - it has officially been 5 weeks today. No improvement. Back to bed now.

Day 37 - I still have this terrible "tight"...

Day 37 - I still have this terrible "tight" feeling in my forehead - but it comes and goes oddly enough. The headaches are still present. I have either got used to having a constant headache or they are starting to get a little better, I am not sure honestly. My eyes look as awful as ever in the morning: sunken into my head and swollen wih drooping fleshing hanging in weird, bizarre looking patterns. By night, I notice that my eyes look a *little* less freakish - and this gives me hope. Sadly, when I wake up, any progress I had been making is replaced with the monster look. I don't even want to go to sleep because I dread seeing my eyes when I wake up :'(. I deperately need to take my daughter school clothes shopping, but I am consumed by anxiety over being seen in public. The way the skin hangs makes me look truly freakish. I have been leaving the house (with sunglasses) to take my daughter to the park or outside to play. Just being able to leave improves my mood. Well, time to sleep, sadly :'(. I dread seeing what I will wake up like.....

Day 42 - it has officially been 6 weeks and I look...

Day 42 - it has officially been 6 weeks and I look as terrible as ever. I have been sobbing and sobbing all morning. I look worst than I did weeks ago. Nothing helps. My face is ruined. My life is ruined. I have lost my job and lost out on precious time with my daughter. Every morning that I wake up, I wish that I hadn't. I will be spending today in bed hoping that I either wake up looking like myself - or don't wake up at all.

Day 43 - My face is never coming back. I woke up...

Day 43 - My face is never coming back. I woke up today looking the worse I have EVER looked. My eyes are swollen to the point of causing vision problems. I seriously would rather be dead. I am realizing that I can either live as a disfigured monster of a person or die - that's it. No other choice or hope. I have never felt so dark or depressed in my life. I have never prayed for death or thought of harming myself... until botox. I have no prior history of any type of mental illness or sucidial thoughts. I hate myself. I am no mother to my daughter anymore, botox has destroyed that. Destoryed my life. It is a very realistic possiblity that botox will claim my life.

Forgot to mention that I now have wrinkles back in...

Forgot to mention that I now have wrinkles back in my forehead. I have nearly full range of being able to move the muscles. However, I have had ZERO improvement regarding the bags under my eyes and the terrible swollen, sagging, eyelids. I posted a picture. I am worse than ever.

I just wanted to pop in to say thank you to...

I just wanted to pop in to say thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. I woke up today feeling more like myself than I have in a very long time :). Even though my physical appearance is worse than it was weeks ago, I woke up in a great mood and I have to say it is thanks to everyone here. B.B, Adaku, CiCi, Stacey, Melbouren (and I might be forgetting lol) - thank you so much for helping me through this. The fact that you all, complete strangers, have taken time out of your lives to share your stories with me and lend your support, encouragment, and strength has really touched me. So, here is to a great day... and it is all thanks to you :)

P.s. please forgive any grammatical errors on my...

P.s. please forgive any grammatical errors on my posts. It's this damn phone of mine! xoxo

Day 48 - well, tomorrow will officially be 7 weeks...

Day 48 - well, tomorrow will officially be 7 weeks and sadly, I have not improved. The past week has by far been the hardest yet. I do have some movement back in my forehead, but my eyes remain extremely swollen and deformed. The inner corners of my eyes are by far the worse. I keep telling myself "1 more week, 1 more week"... and honestly I think that this is what has kept me going. Just a little progress would completely lift my spirits. Maybe I could snare my inner corners with fishhooks and tie them up :-P.

Day 52 - absolutely no progress. Not even a hint...

Day 52 - absolutely no progress. Not even a hint of relief. My daughter started school today and I has to wait in the car with glasses while my mom walked her to class. I look truly horrifying. I visited another plastic surgeon who said he had never seen such severe deformity from botox. I sobbed in hours office like a baby as he looked over my face agreeing that I'm horribly disfigured. He said there is no way to know if it's permanent because because he's never seen anything like it. He said almost all patients see relief between 6-8 weeks - but I've had absolutely none. I have movement back in my forehead and can create deep wrinkles now, but the inner corners of my eyes sag almost & are swollen so horribly that I look like I was beat in the face. I don't know how I will survive this. How am I not improving a tiny but after nearly 2 months?

Day 55 - Tomorrow will be 8 weeks and sadly I have...

Day 55 - Tomorrow will be 8 weeks and sadly I have no improved even a tiny bit. I actually got worse over the last 2 weeks :(. I am really starting to get scared that I will wind up needing very expensive, risky, painful surgery to *attempt* to repair my eyes. Starting tomorrow, I plan to attempt cardio and guzzling green tea like it's going out of style. Today I have been eating like a piggy. I found carmel apple cow tales and have successfully inhaled almost half a dozen lol. My eyes still look like absolue shit. I have some pictures to post soon.I even found another one from right before this nightmare started. Hopefully everyone is doing well and making progress!!

Hahaha - I had a hilarious story that I had to...

hahaha - I had a hilarious story that I had to share with you guys :). I went to meijer with my cousin and while walking around (in sunglasses) I started to have a panic attack... so I told her I needed to wait in the car while she checked out. I walked outside, seen *my* jeep and hopped in. I helped myself to some gum out of the cup holder, plugged my phone into her car charger, took of my shoes and kicked my feet up, and was in the process of going through her cds when a total stranger opened up the drivers door and was staring at me, mouth agape. I was completely alarmed until I realized that 1.) I didn't drive to meijer, my cousin did. 2.) had I drove, I would have drove my AVENGER because I sold my Jeep last YEAR. 3.) I was sitting in some strange dudes car, pilfering through his gum, going through his cds, while using his car charger and putting my bare feet all over his car LOL. I muttered some apology and said that I thought it was my car. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if I could have got out of his jeep and into a similar one.... but nope. I get out of his 2008 green jeep and into my cousins white 97 sable!!! Oooops. My eyes still look like total and complete shit with zero improvement... but that made my day and I had to share.

Day 60 - today has been extremely hard on me. I am...

Day 60 - today has been extremely hard on me. I am officially 2 months in (3 days shy of 9 weeks) and I haven't had even a tiny bit of improvement. There is likely permaent damage to my periorbital muscle around my eye. I now have a lot of movement back in my forhead and can make 11 lines again, but my eyes remain puffy, swollen, and hideous. I am really trying so hard not to break down in tears right now. I have tried the detox tea and I have also been drinking the juice of one lemon each day. In addition, I have been massaging my forehead for hours throughout the day and applying compresses as hot as I can tolerate. Nothing helps. I still have the puffy inner corners and bags under my eyes. According to numerous "experts" - I should be showing improvement by now, but that could not be further from the truth. This has by far been the hardest, most disabling, lonely experience of my life. I am so ashamed that I did this to myself. Emotionally, physically, socially, professionally - I have been destroyed. All traces of beauty havbeen stolen from my face an I no longer recogonize the monster in the mirror looking back at me from its sunken, disfigured, grotesquely swollen eyes. I have became a complete recluse. I compulsively check my face and feel my heart break every single time I realize that I am not getting better and may not ever. If botox truly only lasts from 90-120 days, I should be at the halfway mark.I am not. I have had botox in the past and it wore off MUCH faster than this. I think the truth is that some muscles do not recover... and I believe the one around the eye might be one of them. From the way it was explained to me, that muscle "squeezes" excess fluid out from around the eye. Since mine has been damaged by the botox and cannot function, the fluid remains and my eyes swell to the point of causing vision problems. I have been researching like a mad woman and have came across articles published by doctors warning people that going to "untrained" professionals can cause PERMANENT disfigurment... but going to a "trained professional" will "completely abolish all chances of permanent side effects". It makes me sick the way they lie and bend the truth to suit their needs. They could care less how many lives are ruined by botox as long as their pockets are lined with cash. The place that ruined my face, Age Rewind in West Bloomfield, MI swears that botox did NOT do this to my face.... even though they took pictures of me sitting in the chair moments before the botox looking healthy and pretty with normal eyes. I seriously feel nothing but pure hate towards them. I feel like sitting my disfigured ass outside their office, holding a before picture, and showing my monster face to everyone that is considering walking through their door. They PROMISED me that they would only do 12 units and then they realized that their needle had extra. Rather than stop, they risked my safety and health so that they could charge me for another 9 units.... and why did they do that? Becaue they freaking knew they could get away with it. There is NOTHING in place to protect innocent people from vultures like this. I had no way of knowing that they were going to overdose me and I DID NOT consent to 21 units - yet they just poked into random spots seeing $$$ pop up with each poke. God forbid they lose out on $100 worth of profit. Who gives a shit if they ruin my face by improperly injecting - they wanted that $100 and it was absolutely worth the risk of ruining my face to them because they knew full and damn well that I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I am just furious. Sorry for the novel.... I just needed to vent. I swear, if I could just take this one place down and prevent another person from having to live this nightmare, I would not feel all my suffering is in vain.

Day 67 - my eyes are sunken into my head, deep...

Day 67 - my eyes are sunken into my head, deep wrinkles have formed under, and I now have horrific bags. There is no end in sight to this nightmare. I am devestated.

Day 75 - I think I see the first signs of...

Day 75 - I think I see the first signs of improvement! My eyes are still very puffy in the inner corners and there are still bags underneath, but I can tell they are less swollen. My vision is no longer blurry or double and the headache has been absent for 3 full days! I'm concerned about my new facial asymmetry however. The botox is wearing off unevenly leaving my right brow significantly higher than the right. Regardless, I am ecstatic to see even minimal improvement. Can't wait to toss my sunglasses!

Day 77 - well, it's been 11 weeks since this...

Day 77 - well, it's been 11 weeks since this nightmare began and it is painfully obvious that some of the damage my indeed be permanent. I woke up today looking saggy, baggy, and as awful as ever before. All progress is no longer visable. While I am seeing that the botox is wearing off and I now have much more movement in my forehead, my face is completely different. I have been using dormat muscles vigorously to keep my eyes open and as a result, the shape of my eyes have changed dramatically (for the worse). Every facial expression I make is now altered (also for the worse). My face is extremely lopsided. The puffiness in my eyes still remains and the extreme bags underneath along with the dark circles, hallows, and wrinkles are also of great concern. I had NO issues at all around my eyes prior to botox and I did not have botox injected for crows feet so I really don't understand how so much damage in that area, but it did. Doctors say this area is the very hardest and last to recover - if it ever does recover. Doctors say patients report that the under eye area has not improved even after years. I do look far older than any 28 year old woman should look. I have been starting to come out of hiding and everyone who has seen me has commented on how "tired" I look. According to doctors, my misery should be over in just another 5 weeks - but this is absolutely not a reality. I only hope that this point that I do not regress any further.

I have my fingers crossed that soon I will be able to toss my sunglasses before going out in public. I dream of the day where I can wake up and live my life without the constant worry of my eyes looking freakish. For 77 long, painful, agonizing days I have been absolutely consumed with this botox nightmare. Every single day, I rush to the mirror when I wake up only to find that there is a stranger looking back at me. There is rarely a thought in my mind that does not include my botox related deformities.This has been the most painful lesson of my life. I wish desperately that I would have known what I know now back before I let them stab my face full of this poison. Another week down.....

"Wisdom is expensive and is often paid for with pain"

Day 81- I am sobbing devastated. I have been...

Day 81- I am sobbing devastated. I have been "sleeping" almost fully upright for over a week now because I found that it helped with the swelling. I have been seriously sleep deprived because of these sleeping conditions and started falling asleep randomly in bizarre places. My body was begging for sleep and I felt myself deteriorating rapidly. I got a call from my boss last week and was set to go back to work today. Although I have been riddled with anxiety, I was so happy. Somehow I managed to lose one of my pillows during my 4 measly hours of sleep. I woke up in excruciating agony. My head felt like it was in a vice. I touched my eyes and felt they were almost swollen shut. As soon as I sat fully up, I had double vision and it felt like I was being cracked in the head with a hammer. I have vomited several times from the pain. My life truly is over. I'm not going to recover. There is no hope of having a normal life. I wish I was dead. I have no quality of life at all. I can't drive, I can't work, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I CAN'T LIVE!

Week 12 - I've deteriorated dramatically since my...

Week 12 - I've deteriorated dramatically since my last post. I'm so scared... not just because my eyes are worse than ever, but because the double vision is back with a vengeance & so are the headaches. Earlier today I went to get something and blacked out. I was home alone, so I'm not sure how long I was out for. When my mom found me, I was rambling that botox was "making my brain swell". I don't remember this. I'm not safe to be alone and I cannot be trusted to care for my daughter if I'm around going to be falling unconscious. The swelling around my eyes is just crazy. It looks like I have donuts implanted under my skin around them. I believe the fluid really might be building up behind my eyes. I'm so afraid. The doctor I seen today told me to ice my eyes and asked if I was abattered woman! I don't know where to turn for help. Doctors are either genuinely baffled, lying, or stupid. None have offered any help, just promised I'd be fully recovered in 12-16 weeks. I'm afraid for my life.

WEEK 12 - Visited an ETHICAL, HONEST, and...

WEEK 12 -

Visited an ETHICAL, HONEST, and highly EDUCATED facial plastic surgeon today. He sat with me for over an hour while I explained where I was injected, and showed him over 100 pictures (I have documented my botox torment each and every day with photos and video). He CONFIRMED that my symptoms ARE from botox and said that it is NOT uncommon as many people are injected inpromperly and the botox DOES travel to other areas that were unintended. I have now seen a neurologist, a plastic surgeon, and a general doctor that all AGREE after seeing my abundance of photos/videos that everything I am suffering from is without a doubt from botox.

Day 88 - relapsing again. No improvement...

Day 88 - relapsing again. No improvement appearance wise. Eyes are more sunken, swollen, and puffy than previous weeks - especially in the morning. Vision problems & a variety of other hellish botox related symptoms are back with a vengeance. Looking forward to showing my hideous monster face in court & shutting down the spa that ruined my life. At least they won't be able to destroy anyone else after I'm done with them.

Day 91 - 13 weeks - 3 + Months = GETTING WORSE....

Day 91 - 13 weeks - 3 + Months = GETTING WORSE. Extremely swollen, sunken eyes with HUGE bags and new deep wrinkles. I look DISGUSTING and will likely be facing surgery to repair the extensive damage. The swelling is the cause of my vision problem and I still cannot drive. Botox has destroyed my face and my life. I regret it with every second of every day. I would rather lose a limb than live one more day with this hiddeous monster face.

Day 98 - Week 14 - I just cant believe so much...

Day 98 - Week 14 - I just cant believe so much time has passed and that I have still not improved. I just look downright UGLY. My eyes change daily, but there are NEVER any good days - just bad, terrible, and days when I wish I wouldn't have any more days. This is my favorite time of year and I have been trapped in this house like a prisioner - physically sick and disfigured. My eyes are both sunken and swollen at the same time - there are HUGE bags under my eyes and a variety of new horrible wrinkles. I am desperate to recover. DESPERATE. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate my appearance. I am consumed. I am broken, ashamed, and hideous. I have no life and nothing brings me enjoyment. My daughter avoids me because my appearance disturbs her. I have to play with her wearing sunglasses - she insists on this and it BREAKS MY HEART. Children are so honest. Brutally honest. I truly feel my life is over. 14 weeks and NO improvement? Continuing to get worse? I was supposed to be better by now according to every single doctor (except one). I'll post pictures soon.

Day 105 - getting worse still. See the pictures....

Day 105 - getting worse still. See the pictures. They speak for themselves. My life and face are in shambles.

Day 112 - still looking hideous. The bags under my...

Day 112 - still looking hideous. The bags under my eyes are getting progressively worse and I have the most painful dry eyes that I could ever imagine. My eyes are as freakish as ever.... sunken, swollen, huge bags, dark circles, and they are changing differently - so I look like I have had a stoke. On eyelid is drooping now so that just adds to my ugliness. I had went today to get a haircut and was crying to the hair dresser. Turns out her husband is a MD that injects botox. He was bringing their children to the salon, so she asked him to see to me, not as a patient, but as a favor. He said that he HAS seen this before and he could not honestly tell me that I would recover :'(. He said that I "SHOULD" but expect it to take several more months. He agreed that my eyes were swollen and I shamefully showed him my 800+ pictures - his was response was "Wow. That is some bullshit. I am sorry that happened to you. I see what you are saying and you are right." He then went on to tell me some HORROR stories that made my skin crawl. He was explaining to me what the proper dilution for botox was and how much botox costs the provider. He said that he commonly sees botox on groupon etc and the prices are so low that the providers could not realistically be giving botox - so he is confident they are over diluting it or using a cheaper "generic" aka illegal form of botox. From what he told me, botox costs the provider $5-$6 per unit when properly diluted. He even admitted that he had doctor friends that over dilute to save money. NOBODY IS WATCHING THESE DOCTORS/HACKS!!! He said that he was personally shocked to see how many professional, licensed DOCTORS were doing this to basically make themselves even more money. He said that hack shops disguised as fancy med spa and even legit doctor offices pretty much keep a bottle of real botox in stock so that they can use the serial numbers off the vial just in case the need to "cover their asses" - but instead, they either use cheaper stuff or double dilute. Anyway, I am 4 months in and have not even came close to returning to my old self :(

Day 124 - I haven't been up to updating lately. I...

Day 124 - I haven't been up to updating lately. I wish I could say I am seeing improvement - but I am not. However, I did order a facial exercise program - Carolyn's Facial Fitness - and I am extremely excited to give it a try. I seen on the website that other botox sufferers had tried Caroylns' system and had great results. I actually took the time to write an email and send my pictures and was SHOCKED that Carolyn herself actually wrote me back offering to personally help me by recommending the exercises that she feels may be the most beneficial for my eyes. This really blew me away. What customer service! I had a coupon, so the entire system only cost me $29 WITH shipping. She shipped my package within hours of purchasing, so it should be arriving soon. She was kind enough to send me another personal email with some excercises I can do while I wait for my package. I will post some pictures of how I am looking these days (not much change - still puffy, saggy, crinkly, with bags) and then I will post weekly with new pictures to determine if I am making progress with the facial exercise. It isn't a "quick fix" but I really feel that it can help me. Looking forward to giving it a try :)

Day 130 - haven't been able to pull myself to...

Day 130 - haven't been able to pull myself to update or do much of anything really. Have basically just laid in bed. I am completely withdrawn and avoiding my friends and family. I have relapsed horrifically. All symptoms are back full force and my face is more disfigured than EVER before. I will post pictures soon. It has been almost 19 weeks and I don't know that I can survive much longer. I have barely ate in days. I have no desire to do anything and even simple tasks like brushing my teeth feel overwhelming. I have a doctors appointment in the morning & I am not even hoping for good news. All I can hope for is that I can save other people from a similar fate. My life is over.

Week 18 (almost 19) - Was told today by the...

Week 18 (almost 19) - Was told today by the speciaist that he does not think my face can recover on its own. Looking at around $10,000 worth of plastic surgery to repair my face and hopefully regain my vision.

Week 20 - This will be my last post until I start...

Week 20 - This will be my last post until I start to show signs of improvement. I hate never having anything positive to say. It truly breaks my heart. My face has been ruin, life destroyed.... it is as if I have been erased as a person. Even if I am lucky enough to have a day where I feel human, I certainly do not look like it. When I compare pictures of my face to ones from before botox, the difference is beyond horrific. My entire face has drooped. My eyes are swollen, with huge bags under them. I have HUGE muscles under my eyebrows that make me look like a caveman. I am now losing my hair by the handful and you can see my scalp in many places. I am not sure if this is a direct side effect of the botox or just from the stress the botox caused. Either way, it is the fault of botox. I still have double vision, hot flashes, and headaches from hell. I still cannot drive. I have accepted that this really might be my life now. It is as if I died the day I was injected. I look around my house and it is as if it is frozen in time from back in July. Scrapbooking that I intended to do for the family vacation that I couldn't take remains untouched. Several cute outfits I bought for summer hang in my closet with tags. The garden that I had intended to plan remains in the seed packages. The new face mask I special ordered that I couldn't wait to try sits in my bathroom with the safety seal still on. On my computer are several work schedules I created for my staff members that I never emailed out because I was never able to return to work. A sticky note on my frige reminding myself of my dental cleaning appointment that I couldn't attend. All beauty from my face - erased. All happiness from my life - erased. I push through my days, looking very haggard, tired, old... balding.... feeling entirely ill and ultimately just counting down the hours until I can go back to bed. My poor family has suffered too.... especially my sweet, beautiful little girl. I missed her first day of kindergarden, her halloween party, her school carnival. I pray that she will still have some memory of her Mommy from before. A Mommy that loved taking her to the park, having picnics, playing in our backyard, making cloud shapes, and loved spending time with her.  I love her so much and I feel like such a failure of a Mother. I am so sorry for her suffering. I do my best to hide it from her and do what I can.... but even at her age, she realizes that her Mommy is not ok anymore.

If I ever get better, I will never take another day of having my health for granted EVER again. I pray I can come back someday and say I am better.... but that is not realistic. I pray that everyone else suffering will find a recovery quicker. I hope that if nothing more, my story can help someone or prevent others from getting botox. The truth is ugly, just like me. I have found some truly wonderful people on here. Thank you all for being so kind. It was your kindness that got me through my hardest days. Take care everyone.

Six month update - Looking worse than ever....

Six month update - Looking worse than ever. Shocking really. Face is destroyed. Eyes are so swollen on top that I have no upper eyelids and under are HUGE hammock like bags that bulge so far that I can actually see them when I look down. Forget about trying to smile I barely look human. My eyebrows are "caving in" causing a hiddeos, angry look with "11" lines that I DID NOT HAVE prior (I was NEVER treated for crows feet or 11 lines - only verticle wrinkles). I have been told by 3 different doctors that I will now need a lower bleph once my face "stablizes". My eyes hurt, burn, and feel heavy as if they are filled with vaseline. Now, I would like to mention that I have had a few decent days - but very few. Now I am 150% worse than I was back in my first month. My entire face has dropped leaving me with cheeks that look like droopy dog and the muscles around my eyebrows have "bulked" up leaving my glabella area looking swollen and caveman-ish. My skin quality is HORRIBLE. It is loose and hangs off my forehead and eyes. The shape of my eyes are completely different and my entire face is lopsided and uneven. I look NOTHING like myself. NOTHING. I don't just look old, scary, angry, and ugly - I look like some inbred creature that would hunt rats out of a gutter. I try to remain hopeful, but with all these doctors saying I wont recover, all the women I have met that have spent years damaged, and with the fact that my face is now getting worse at 6 months out - I don't know that I will ever heal. I know I will not ever get my face back from before botox. I just pray for one that I can show in public.

7 month update (29 weeks, 2 days) - still no...

7 month update (29 weeks, 2 days) - still no positive change, yet there are changes. Month 7 has been by far the worse yet. My eyes are still very swollen and puffy, especiallyin the morning. I still have huge bags and tear trough deformity. My left side of my face still has some cheek ptosis. My eyebrows are still uneven and caving inward creating hideous 11 lines I did NOT have before. I have all my old wrinkles back, plus 100 new ones. My skin is VERY saggy and loose on my outer corners of my eyes. It literally hangs like mudflaps. My forehead skin feels loose as well. This has not been a good month, but lucky for me we have had blizzard like weather for weeks and I have been able to use the weather as an excuse to stay home. The worse change is the HUGE bulky muscles under my eyebrows (they were recruited to lift my dead, paralyzed botox muscles) and they look horrifying. I look like a neanderthal - that is no joke. It's really bad and make my eyes look sunken deep, deep, deep into my skull. My eyes are now 2 different sizes. My right side and left are so dramatically different that I look like 2-face. I miss my life and my face so much :(. I will update again in 2.5 weeks (that will be the 8 month mark).

8 months - Still looking hideous. My entire face...

8 months - Still looking hideous. My entire face is now drooping. I am truly heartbroken and wish for death daily. I look more than ugly and hideous. The only thing that keeps me from ending it all is my poor daughter who has suffered immensely as she lost her once happy, fun, young Mommy. I died the day botox was injected. Died. I have ZERO quality of life and literallly drag through my days anxiously awaiting being able to go to sleep. I wish I could show my face to the world so they could see how horrific the disfigurement botox caused me truly is. I wish I could post videos on here. I can say honestly that at nearly 35 weeks, I look worse than I did at month 1. I have accepted that the damage is permanent and I will never look normal or like myself ever again. I don't know how I will continue living this way.

Week 37 - I feel like I am reaching a breaking...

week 37 - I feel like I am reaching a breaking point. I have no hope left. I know I am going to be disfigured forever. I continue to get worse. I am DESPERATE for the surgery that doctors say that I need... but cannot have it due to the changes in swelling. I cannot put into words how ugly I look or how much pain I suffer through every minute. It hurts just ot live and I feel like I should just be euthanized. I have NO quality of life and NO will to live. NONE. I live in HELL. Every single day for 255 - TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE DAYS - I have suffered with NO relief. I can do NOTHING for my daughter as a mother because I am in constant pain and half blind. Please, please God help me. I cannot go on much longer.

 

Name not provided

Very courteous staff, BUT I have no doubt in my mind that my negative results are from poor technique.

1 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
3 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
1 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
3 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
4 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
Was this review helpful? 11 others found this helpful