Puffy, swollen, sunken eyes from botox with eye bags - horrific disfigurement. Likely permanent.

Well, here I sit looking like an absolute monster...

Well, here I sit looking like an absolute monster and having doctor after doctor lie to my face and say it is NOT from the botox.

I am beyond frustrated and absolutely furious.

4 days ago, I was a normal 28 year old woman with BRIGHT eyes and a few wrinkles in my forehead. 21 units of botox later, I cannot even recognize myself. I look hideous, angry, old, and I am scared to death that I will never be able to leave my house again.

I have spent several hours scouring the internet, praying for something to just help the slightest bit. It seems that there are tons and tons and tons of women suffering from the same side effect - yet doctors want to lie and say it is not from the botox or that this occurrence is "rare". I posted my picture on another website and was told that I needed an upper eye lift and that there was no way my new found jabba the hut look was from botox.  There are tens of thousands of women on these forums suffering from drooping eyelids - and those are just the ones taking the time to actually come online and write about it... imagine how many just suffer in silence. Even if they do complain to the doctor, I would bet my first born that these doctors are not rushing to report the side effects. At best, the statistics showing that eyelid drooping is "rare" is inaccurate... but I think it is just a blatant lie. Greedy doctors wanna sweep this under the rug so that it won’t decrease their sales. It makes me absolutely sick.
Enough with my venting, I will document my suffering, and hopefully my progress. I will detail what I do on a day to day basis and take pictures as I go. I am praying that my eyes will return to normal and that by sharing my experience, I can help others or at least educate them. If you have had this happen to you, please give me some hope that my face will become my own again. For as many women as I see on here telling their horror stories, seldom come back to update their progress.


Oh yeah, I can definitely see the problem in the black & white photo. Hahaha - you are too funny!!!

Seriously though, comparing your before with your afters I can see a bit of swelling & "fullness" on the lids. :-/ If I hadn't seen the before picture I wouldn't have thought anything was wrong with your lids though, so hopefully that helps you feel a bit less self conscious about it. 

I'm sorry to hear how upset and disappointed you are with your Botox results. I would love it if you would post a "before" picture, as the afters don't look bad to me, but maybe that is only because I don't have a before to compare it to.

Just to play devi's advocate a little I think your point about how many people suffer in silence is a valid one, but we also have to keep in mind that people who do have an issue after their botox are more likely to jump online to try to research it, and discuss the problem. I would have to guess that a lot of people who have no problems with it just go about their daily lives and don't come on and share. Of course we will never really know what those numbers are.

It seems the skill level of the injector plays a vital role in the way Botox turns out, so unfortunately people who go to less skilled injectors often times have more complications. Here is a blog about that, that you might find interesting:

Staggering Differences in Satisfaction Between Board vs. Non-Board Certified Doctors

The one "good" thing about Botox when something like this goes on is that it is not permanent. It seems it usually goes through a person's system in 3-6 months. Perhaps that is why a lot of the people don't come back to update, it just stops being an issue for them. Hopefully it will go quickly for you.

Looking forward to your updates! Hang in there, it will get better!

Thank you for your sympathy!

I feel 100% positive that my results are due to poor technique! I went to a newer facility and let the fact that I LIKED the staff overshadow that I was being injected by a nurse rather than a certified Doctor.

Oddly enough, I have had trouble getting my photos to reflect the true extreme of the swelling and deformed appearance of my eyes. I honestly look like quasimodo!

I cannot wait to go back to normal so that I can hopefully have a good laugh at my "monster pictures".

I have noticed the few people that do come back to update are the ones that had some type of very severe trauma (nerve damage etc) and they are requiring plastic surgery to remedy the problem. Seeing their stories was terribly disheartening and caused me great panic. Hopefully I can come back soon and say that my face is my own again :)!

UPDATE: So, today makes my one week post botox...

UPDATE: So, today makes my one week post botox injections. While I still have a long road to travel, I am looking slightly less freakish :).

Here is what I have been doing:

1.) Apraclonidine eye drops - expensive and ineffective for my situation. Apparently, these drops will not help if your saggy eyelids are caused from dropping eyebrows (like mine). They only offer relief for actually eyelid drooping. I was desperate, so I gave it a try. Fail.

2.) I started boiling water on the stove in a pot and "steaming" my face by placing a towel over my head while holding my face over the water. I move my eyebrows as much as I possibly during the steaming. I have done this 3x per day for 10 minutes each time and I swear that this has HELPED! I have more movement in my brow and the drooping has shown some minimal improvement.

3.) Every spare minute of the day, I have been "exercising" my forehead by raising my eyebrows up as high as possible and holding them in place. I also massage my forehead muscles. I am not certain that this is helping, but I have noticed I have more movement in my forehead. I think I may actually be strengthening other muscles in my forehead that were unaffected by the botox (not the ones that were paralyzed) and they are helping to lift my brows.

4.) Great ready for this one..... during the day..... I have been using scotch tape to take my brows in place. I leave them taped up as high as I can for as long as possible. I think this s helping as well and I am fairly certain that this is also strengthening muscles that were previous dormant.

5.) I noticed that my eyes were WAY worse in the morning. They feel "squishy" - like they are filled with fluid. I read that botox can cause transient fat to sag around the eye which in turn causes issues with your eyes lymphatic draining. Once you are up, with the assistance of gravity, the fluid slowly drains. I am no doctor, but I think this is exactly what is happening to me. So, I have been sleeping nearly upright. It is not the most comfortable position in the world, but it has HELPED! I wake up looking less puffy.

So, while I am far from looking like "me", I am excitied to see improvement - even if it is minimal.

I'll update next week :)


Thank you :). It does make me feel a bit better!

What looks bizarre is how the inner corner slopes in while the outter wings out. Luckily, I am showing improvement since the black & white photo was taken ;)!! It definitely helps to keep some humour !

Agreed, humor helps - so glad you are able to keep such a good attitude even when things arent going exactly as you would like. :)

So day 8 has NOT been kind to me :'(. I woke up...

so day 8 has NOT been kind to me :'(. I woke up today looking worse than ever. My right eye is much worse than my left - so I look stroke-esque. My 5 year old daughter called me "Monster Mom" jokingly - which made me sob.

I had skipped the tape yesterday because I had been showing some improvement. I woke up today with my forehead feeling completely numb and my brows sagging more than ever. I plan to spend the entire day in tape. I am truly praying I won't get any worse :'(.


you poor thing, i too myself had botox for the 1st time last week, and the very next day started seein a difference, not on a positive note though,, my eyebrows have sagged that much, i'm too scared to mentioned to friends i've had botox, just to see if they can notice a difference in my face,,, my confidence has dropped and i'm tryin to hide my face when at work, i should be showing it off proudly,,, please keep updating your post, i would love to read more of your helpful hints, i'm off now to steam my face,,,, i'm sure with everything we are reading that it will wear off within 3-6mths, still that's along time to wait,,,

How are you doing today KaelynsMom? I think when anything like this goes on its pretty normal to have good days and bad days...regardless, each day is one day closer to the Botox being out of your system.

Sending you a hug.

I can empathize with your disappointment because I have felt like you do with haircuts. I have reminded myself that the situation is not permanent and chalked it up as a learning experience. Does not mean you still can't be pissed! I am sorry. You are smart to address wrinkles early though.

Day 11 - I look worse than ever before. Now that...

Day 11 - I look worse than ever before. Now that the botox is really kicking in - any progress I *thought* I was making, has completely vanished and been replaced with an even more horrific look than I could have ever imagined. I had to take a leave of absence from work and I have not left my house in days. Whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I break down and cry. This is not my face. These are not my eyes. I am so depressed and so very angry with myself. I contacted the clinic where I had the injections, and they are insisting that this is not from the botox. Bullcrap. I realized that I forgot to mention that I had been getting botox treatments at another provider for 2 YEARS prior without ANY negative effect - so I am POSITIVE that this is from their incompence. Their only concern was worrying over if I was trying to get a refund out of them... REALLY?!?! I would gladly empty my savings account to have my face back before they butchered it. I never thought the day would come where I was praying to see wrinkles... but I would give anything to have those lines back.

I honestly don't know how I am going to survive the next several months trapped in this monster face. I know is sounds very dramatic - and this is NOT like me - but I am completely immersed in the deepest, darkest depression of my life. I am not sure how much worse it will get before it gets better..... if it gets better :'(. Will I ever get better? I am starting to lose hope so early on. I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. All I can do is pray and wait.


Hi KaelynsMom!

I'm sorry to hear you're not improving yet. I think you just need to tough it out for a few more days then it'll just keep on getting better and better (slowly but surely). For me, I got my Botox done by my family doctor and he's really awesome when it comes to life-saving surgical procedures, that's why I trusted him to do my Botox from a safety point, but I don't think he was too experienced for Botox. Luckily, my droop isn't too bad. I seem to be the only one who notices it. But I know now that for any future injections, I'm goin to do my homework very carefully.

For me, it took a month to start seeing my eyebrows and lids slowly starting to rise. It's been about 6 weeks now, so I'm hoping it'll vastly improve in a few more weeks, but something tells me it won't fully improve until about 3~5 months time period. I'll keep you updated. By the way, those darn eyedrops are so drying and so strong that I don't think they can do any good. For the safety of your eyes, I think you should limit using those eyedrops and just let yourself heal naturally. Trust me, I learned the hard way and was sporting red eyes for days from those frickin' drops.

xxooxoxo Cici L.A.
Thank you so much for your kindness. Thank goodness for this site also... I have came across several other women who are suffering through the same fate as me and they have been so very supportive. Sadly, I have gotten much, much, much worse since my last post. I will get around to posting pictures eventually. I breakdown in tears every single time I have to glimpse in the mirror.

I like your saying of one day closer though!

Well I am really glad you are on here so we can support you & help you through. Come on and share, and talk whenever you want - we are here for you!!

Day 12 - each day I wake to find my face more...

Day 12 - each day I wake to find my face more deformed than the last. The paralysis worsens by the minute, it seems. It's like living in a nightmare that keeps getting worse. My daughter is terrified by my "scary eyes" and doesn't want me near her. That hurts the most. My mom is staying at my house to care for her. I have been unable to eat anything in nearly 48 hours. I feel very weak, but have no
appetite. The headaches that come from trying to keep my eyes open to see are excruciating. Blinding. I've never had headaches before. The paralysis itself is uncomfortable. Outside is a sunny, beautiful day... my mother and my baby are out playing in the pool. I can hear my little girl laughing from my prison of hell. I have been unable to leave my bed except to use the bathroom. If not for my daughter, I don't know what I would do. I've never been depressed before... There is no relief. Only more suffering and I am helpless.


From what you are describing KaelynsMom, I would highly suggest you go see a doctor about your depression. Feeling a certain amount of depression when something like this occurs is expected, but if you are feeling it is a deep depression getting some help with it would probably be a good idea. If you are not feeling up to it, perhaps you could ask your mom to make the appointment for you?

oh Kaelyns mom, i'm goin through what you are sayin and my mother too is here lookin after my sons, i can't work it's more about the vomiting etc, i'm loosing weight everyday, i'm so glad that this blog can help us talk about this,, god bless your mother for being there, as mine,, i hope with each day it gets better,,, we must hang in there xxxx

Day 13 - today is a slightly better day.I am still...

Day 13 - today is a slightly better day.I am still looking terrible and feeling cruddy.... but I do feel a little better. My nausea subsided enough to hold down some toast and juice. My headache is still present, but tolerable. The scariest thing that happened to me was waking up with double vision. It has since subsided and I am thinking it was due to fat tissue sagging down on my eye :(. I have also been having what I can only describe as "hot flashes". I had read on other forums that many women experience these symptoms, along with depression, thoughts of suicide, and many, many, many other sytmptoms. I am out of the bed today and was able to shower. Aside from looking like a monster, I feel half human. This is progress for me at this point.

I was told by a plastic surgeon that taking calcium supplements *may* help speed up my bodys ability to metabolize the botox. I have been taking them for 3 days now, and I think I have a little more movement in my forehead. I was told to take no more than 2500 mg of calcium per day. I am not sure if that fluctuates per person or by body weight (I am 5'10" & 130lbs), so if you decide to try taking calcium, you should check with a doctor because you can have too much.

The worse part is not knowing what tomorrow brings. It feels like I wake up with a different face each day. I cannot imagine what women who suffer from permanent facial deformations must feel like :(. I must remember to be grateful that I may get my face back in few months. Staying positive is hard.... even for optimistic people like me with ZERO history of depression. I have been fortunate enough to befriend SEVERAL other women going through the same hell. Having someone to talk to helps. I encouage anyone who is suffering from bad botox to seek out others - they are there - and they understand.

And so, I am one day closer to having botox out of my system. Fingers crossed that tomorrow will be another step towards progress.


i seem to be going through what you did.i had this done before with no problems and now..dropping brown fluid in eyes and headache,,i have severe chronic pain and won't beable to stand getting worse for 3 month,,,would a doctor beable to touch uo a little above the inside browsto lift the broww and open the eyes more...i an calling my doctor who did thid tomarrow
Wow, you sound EXACTLY like I did a few months back. Long story short, the same neanderthal brow-drop happened to me. I was horrified, depressed, angry, embarrassed, you name it. I thought "What the EFF have I done?"

All I can say is that your beautiful face WILL go back to normal. I promise. It's a gradual process and some days are worse than others, but the one certainty is that Botox is temporary. Never ever permanent.

I'm a few days shy of being 4 months post-injection, and I went from being consumed by it day and night to not even thinking about it. The droop will subside sooner than the botox resolves from the muscles.

Be patient, have hope and just know that it's TEMPORARY. :-)
Hi Marie (KaelynsMom):

These daily/morning improvements WILL happen to you, it’s just a matter of getting through the first few dreadful weeks of the darn powerfully strong Botox kicking in with a vengeance. Once it’s kicked in and locks itself into all its intended positions, the Botox muscles will begin to lose its power, enabling your old self to slowly re-emerge once again. Just don’t think about the present. Instead, think about the future and having your original face again SOON! I was doing some online research when I noticed my droopiness and the key factor is that Botox is not permanent. But what really gave me peace of mind was visiting my injecting doctor. Like I said before, he’s a general surgeon in L.A. and isn’t too experienced with injecting Botox, but the fact that he doesn’t take any medical procedures he carries out to his patients lightly means everything to me. Like, I trust him that he wouldn’t perform Botox if he believed for a second that it may be permanent for his patients. He’s in his mid 60s and has performed so much incredible medical procedures stemming from cancer removal to heart-related surgeries. He’s about to retire from being a general surgeon, but his passion is skincare and wants to start doing hi-tech skincare. Even though he gave me a slight droop with the Botox, I know it could have possibly been much worse if I went to just any old doctor with an eager heavy injecting-hand.

Keep in touch, Marie, and let me know how your status goes. But I’m sure you’ll find a slight glimpse of the rainbow before finding your pot of gold by the end of 2012. Just be patient!


Day 18 - I think I have reached the "peak" of the...

Day 18 - I think I have reached the "peak" of the botox. Anything I did or was doing to try to improve it was completely WORTHLESS and a waste of time. It made me feel like I was doing SOMETHING to speed up my recovery and it gave me hope - but it did NOTHING. Botox has destroyed my face and my life. I was forced to resign from my job today when I could not return due to my facial deformities.

My eyes look like I was in the ring with Mike Tyson. The inner corners are so swollen and puffy that it is pushing on my eyes and causing double vision. I think there is actually transient fat that has slipped down. My forehead feels uncomfortably heavy. The headaches have increased and nothing touches the pain. Keeping my eyes open is a constant struggle. My eyes only lift very VERY little on the outer corners, leaving this VERY strange, slanted look on the inner corner of my eyes. My left eye is much worse and to my horror, it appears the entire left side of my face is drooping. I truly look like I had a stroke. My eyes look tiny, beaty, and VERY angry. I look hideous. Honestly, I would rather saw off my toes with a kitchen steak knife than live ONE more day looking like this. I hate waking up in the mornings. I have lost a total of 16 pounds so far - brining my weight to 123 pounds ... at 5'10". I look sickly, monstrous, ugly, old. I have nothing positive to say and no hope left. Back to bed now.


Getting more runs the risk of making your face even more uneven :(. I wouldn't recommend it. Sadly, I think we are stuck this way until the botox wears off in a few months. My eyes are almost completely swollen shut these days from the "fluid" or whatever it is. I wish you a speedy recovery!
I cannot wait to start to see improvement! I am truly looking like a complete monster these days. I haven't left my bed in over a week :(. I seriously keep getting worse and worse, so any improvement would be a huge relief. How long did it take before you started to see some improvement?

Day 21 - 3 weeks of hell. Could it get any worse?...

Day 21 - 3 weeks of hell. Could it get any worse? Yes. Much worse. I have fat pads seeping out, bulging all around my eye. Somehow, the botox worked it's way UNDER my eyes causing puffing and weird indentation. I am writing this post from my bed and will not be leaving it today. I feel so sick and if you thought any of my pictures looked bad, you should see me now. Honest to god, if my face is not back soon, I will not be able to continue living. I'd rather be dead.


Dear KaelynsMom
Please do not give up hope, you WILL get there. It takes an amazing amount of mental strength and lot of patience and it really is impossible for anyone to understand until they have been through it. I had a botox disaster about 2 years ago. I had it injected under my eyes and it looked hideous. My under eyes developed folds of skin and lost all elasticity, I too thought I had done permanent damage and was devastated. The good news is, four agonising months later, completely back to normal, I really think you need to give it at least 8 weeks before you start to see any major improvements. Stay strong for yourself and for your daughter. I know you are in the depths of despair at the moment but remember "this too shall pass" and you will go on and this will become a distant awful memory. Don't try to do anything else to your face, just let your system rid itself of the botox. Sending you lots of hugs - your story brought tears to my eyes and you sound so very sad that I just wanted to reassure you and let you know that there are people like myself who have recovered and our faces have returned to normal. x
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kindness and encouragement. It means so much to me :)

Omigosh, this has definitely scared me off of Botoxing! I am 38 and talked to my Dermatologist yesterday about my forehead lines. He said he wouldn't be able to go too close to my eyebrows b/c it would make them sag, but that by injecting in between my eyebrows and the higher lines, it may spread out enough to help the wrinkle above my brows. But I will take my lines over Quasimoto. I sincerely wish you a speedier recovery. Stick it out for your children. I can't imagine the nightmare you're living with. :o( Keep posting and journaling...and praying!

Day 23 - My double vision has subsided some! The...

Day 23 - My double vision has subsided some! The headache is still there, but tolerant today. Appearance wise, I still look like a monster. I am very concerned with the fact that the swelling is from slipped fat pads and not just my brow hanging low. Will that ever go away?

My left eyebrow is quite a bit lower than my right and I figured out why.... when the injector was busy ruining my face, she gave me one final shot up by my hairline on the left. I thought it was strange because I have never been injected there before. I know now that she was just looking to "dump" off the extra botox in the needle so that she could charge me for it and it wouldn't go to waste. Unfortunately for me, that muscle held my left eyebrow up.

I am furious how easy these "providers" can get their hands on botox and be qualified to inject people. I feel the requirements should be FAR more strict. They paint this picture of how safe botox is and how any negative side effects are extremely rare and at worse, quick and temporary. Nobody told me that this could happen to me. I feel that if the makers of botox are going to allow dentists to inject people, they should make an effort to educate people how truly nightmarish the side effects can be. I mean, if botox is so safe and side effects are sooooo rare and temporary, why not go to a dentist? No place in any paperwork that I signed did it say a possible side effect was fat pads sagging down, vision loss, exteme sickness, swollen eyelids, or facial deformities. Maybe I should have read, researched, and investigated.... but honestly, I thought I could trust my doctor. What really upsets me is that my injector is claiming my disfigured face is NOT from botox. She swore up and down that I have a "muscular problem" or some B.S. She told me that my side effects are NOT botox side effects - even though they are LISTED on the botox website as side effects. I do not like being lied to. I told her I planned to sit outside her clinic and her clients could take a look at my face and decide if they thought it was or not. She offered to give me a refund, IF I signed a release from her lawyer saying that I would not talk about my experience. If she did nothing wrong and my face is not deformed from her incompetence - why do I need to sign a gag release? Keep the money. I don't care about it. People deserve to know and she should not be injecting.

I feel like doctors (some, not all) are just dishonest. I feel like they lull people into a false sense of saftey. I feel the doctors who ARE adaquetly trained ONLY acknoweldge side effects from injectors that are not deemed "specialists" because they want to use it as a method to increase their profits - rather than actually caring. I did a little experiment where I posted my pictures/story for doctors to review. In one post, I said it was an LPN that did my injections and I had 9 doctors respond all saying that it was a result of poor techinique and each shaming me for not going to a plasic surgeon or dermatologist. On the second post, I said I was injected by a "well known & repsected plastic surgeon" - and guess what?? I had 16 responses from doctors saying it was clearly NOT a side effect of the botox - one of which whom had responded on my previous post saying it was clearly an injecton. That is what is so disturbing about this. What happened to a code of ethics? Does that go out the window to make a few bucks? Yes. Yes it does. So who Can you trust? Seriously, who?

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 25 - the middle of my forehead feels like...

Day 25 - the middle of my forehead feels like total dead weight. I have yet to see any improvement. The fat pads are still sagging, especially in the inner corners. I haven't been able to leave my house in nearly a month. I look very pale and very sickly - not counting my horrific eyes. My daughter asks me to wear glasses because my eyes scare her. I am heartbroken that my child fears me because of my monstrous appearance. Sleep is my only escape from the nightmare that is now my life. Waking up and seeing my ted face plummets me into instant depression. My life has been stolen. Other than the people on this site, there is no empathy. People believe I deserve this disfigurement for having been vain enough to get botox. Maybe I do. Believe me, I hate myself for it. Loathe myself. Aside from the physical deformity, I gave suffered an immense deal if medical problems. I feel there is no hope. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. The thought is unbearable... but is coming a reality. I ju. My eyes back.st want my life back. My wrinkles back. I'd give my left hand for the rest of my life to have my face back. I am desperate and falling apart. Please, God, help me.


oh Kaelynsmom, i feel for you so much,, you sound at the end of your rope but please don't give up, there are so many women out there inwhich this has happened, and after time when botox wears off most problems are gone, but knowin this doesn't take the suffer from now,, i feel your pain when you talk of your daughter and havin to even give up your job, i hope your have a very supportive family in whom are helpin you through this time,,, i too will never get botox again i nearly lost my job but lucky for myself had great management that under stood, so i still have my employment,, but like everyone else over time my problems with botox got better, please don't give up hope, i also tried massage, chinese cuppin etc to get the toxic shit outta my body quicker, and i do believe this helped heaps,,,, thankyou for sharing your stories,, stay strong beautiful,, you'll get through this xoxoxoxo much love

Day 27 - well, tomorrow will officially be 4 weeks...

Day 27 - well, tomorrow will officially be 4 weeks. I was really hoping to have seen some improvement by now :(. My left eyebrow is significantly lower than the right. Both are swollen almost shut on the inner corners. There is saggy skin that hangs down completely eliminating my upper eyelid.... especially on my left side. The right seems to have more saggy skin however. It's difficult to explain. When I raise my eyebrows.... or at least TRY to raise them... the right has this crazy slant of skin that hangs. I have to blink several times to get the skin to sag back down over the eyelid.

I have completely stopped doing anything to try to speed up the process of the botox. In my prior experiences, botox wore off on me around the second month. I don't think I will be that lucky this time around. If I could see even the slightest hint of improvement, it would make waiting the next couple months tolerable. The thought of never having my face back is what truly grips me with terror. For as many people that I see posting a recovery, I see 10 more that haven't recovered in years. Wondering what catagory I will fall :'(


KaelynsMom - I feel so badly for you, I wish there was something I could do to help besides empathise. I know your friends here are supportive and will do what they can to keep your spirits up. We have all probably had to deal with something that took time to get better, but time always drags when you need it to go by quickly. Please keep us posted, you're already a month into it, it will get better!
i feel for you and all of us, some worse than others but traumatic anyways...........the feels we feel of total despair......thinking we had it done to improve ourselves and failed.......but maybe you won;t have to wairt out the 3 or 4 months, maybe it is still in the working like mine was.......hope i am not jumping the gun and wake up looking crazy tomarrow...............thew stress i was under was more than that...I was starting to spend time with my husband and around members of his family.he has a huge house on the lake and last weekend i was there with my huge bruise and lump between my eyebrows and watery infected eyes......don't know how i did it..no one asked about the bruise and my eyes looked so awful .....can you imagine thew stress.......now i am looking better and will be alone this weekend......................things just never turn out when you want them too.........................i am so happy i looked this site up and could relate to all of you.................we all need the support and understanding because others just don........they haven;t been there and negative remarks are certainly not what we want to hear.............................try and have a nice weekend...............TREAT... YOURSELF
saw my doctor on Thursday............he said my forehead looks great and believe me today it has improved alot..no deep lines around the outer edge of my brow..the main reason I wanted this done..but there if still dropping below the inner corners of my brow.skin sags but not anything like it was and my eyes are open.i sleep with four pillows almost upright,,,,,hard to do of course but looking liker a monster in the morning devestated me......the doctor asked me if i had alergies and i do.I told him i take reactine..........he kind of explained about fluid subsiding where it did and i shouldn't do botox again..............i went into the pharmacy and spoke with him and he suggested i take benadryl with the reactin and i honestly believe it worked...my eyes started to look normal last night...............i am so relieved.i couldn't tell certain people i had botox but i will do it again.anything to take those horrible lines away and give me a younger prettier look..i have other issues to deal with that are bad enough.............maybe allergies had something to do with it....eye infection that cropped up the first night....morning after such horrible swelling and running eyes pressure headaches and looking like a monster scared me.this dctor did me before and nothing went wrong so i believe the eye infection that just came at the time of botox had nothing to do with the injections..............by the way when i saw him the second time he laughed at the height of my eyebrows and injected a couple of needles to relax the muscle and that night i looked even worse for 3 days until i saw him and started alery treatment.....there are no wrinkles now in my foreheadbut frown lines between the brows are there but not as pronouned......He would not do those either times as you can get permanent dropping because that muscle is large..whatever i can;t remember everything.....i was a nervous wreck but honestly i am happy with my eyes and brows today....a little sagging on the right eyes but nothing like before and my eyes haven't that scared horrible look//////////////I am calling him to tell him the benadryl with the reactin took most of the fluid away on the skin beneath the brow and slits for eyes and of course my prescription for my eyes cleared the infection but that had nothing to do with the botox....................i trust this doctor..he is very nice and i feel this is not his fault....at least he saw me and injected more to take that high arch from my brows even though i looked worse for 3 days after but as i said things are looking good.i am in the 7th. day and trust now that I can relax..............I really would like to have juvederm above my lips....had that 3 yrs ago and it lasts 6 mths....but is 600.00 as compared to 360.00 that I paid for my forehead and of course why not the crows feet hahah........i guess a facelift would be alot cheaper in the long run......................curious ......how much was your botox?.....It is totally unfair to pay out money and have bad results and all the anxiety and emotional shit yhat goes along with it and fear not to tell anyone and take their critism adding to your stress.hoping there is someone close a person can confide in and not be against your reasons for doing it in the first place..........please excuse spelling mistakes as my eyes are very tired and my back is killing me............please reply and hoping everyone gets resaults soon and feel a sigh of relief...............oh just want to say I heard on tv or the radio you should never go to someone that has an 800 number and my doctor does but maybe it is for other than a doctor...i am confident in my doctor who is not a fly by night....mistakes do happen for instance saw pictures of heather lockner and could not believe my eyes.....shocking isn;t the word and I am sure she had one of the best do her

Day 30 - Well, tomorrow will officially be a month...

Day 30 - Well, tomorrow will officially be a month that I have been suffering through this seemingly never-ending nightmare. I am disheartened to say that I have not had much improvement. The inner corners of my eyes are still bulging, causing a VERY freakish, VERY ugly, appearance. My left eyebrow is still lower than my right as well.... but oddly, my right eye is worse. It is difficult to explain. If I raise my eyebrows, my extremely swollen inner corners do NOT move and the skin sags down causing this weird slanted crease across my eyelid (I tried to take a picture). My forehead is still frozen in the middle and very uncomfortable. I have completely stopped trying to remedy myself and feel I am getting worse. My days consist of blinding headaches caused from straining to move my forehead to keep my eyes open. I do my best to avoid mirrors at all costs. The sight of myself brings me to tears. If I manually raise my eyebrows with my hand, I can see where the fat pads are seeping out around my eye and I am very concerned about this. I understand that my muscles in my forehead will regain their strength as the botox wears off, but will the fat every return to it's orginal position?


thought things settled down but today my lids are dropped and sagging .....i spoke too soon...my eyes loked like mine for a couple of days and now this especiall since i have been spending asome time with my husband that we have been seperated for quite some time and of course i wanted to look good.............now i will hide!!!!
I am so sorry to hear you have regressed :(. Do your eyes look similar to mine? I have also experienced days where my eyes look slightly better only to fall asleep and wake up looking even more terrifying than before. It is heartbreaking. Especially for women, like ourselves, that pride themselves in their appearance.

I have also been told that the skin sagging down will be permanent and will require upper eyelid surgery to repair. I cannot believe that I am even in this situation at barely 28. I look so old, worn out, mean, and absolutely ugly. My forehead is smooth... but I would rather have wrinkles than have my eyes look this way.

This is terribly stressful on it's own.... so I am extremely sorry to hear that you are dealing with this on top of trying to work things out with your husband. Keep me posted on how you are doing. I understand your pain :(
happy you responed to my post...yes my eyes are like yours and remember i also had eye infections later the 1st day of my botox but was told it was not connected....but what caused the lump between my brows and horrible brusing. watery eyes headach and pressure............everything was starting to look better two days ago. but last night i slept with just one pillow, wanted a good night sleep and woke up like this today.right now my right eye is worse than the left.will sleep with 4 pillows tonight and take more benadryl.hoping tomarrow i look like saturday..when I had this done last October towards the end of the month on Cristmas my very handsome son who strives at perfection said to me .i was wearing a long black wool coat, very nice.thinking i looked pretty enough and he said if you had on a tall black pointed hat you would look like a witch.I was floored..the only problem with botox at that time was that my eyebrows were too arched as i have arched eyebrows anyways but look good without the added ARCH..ALLLINES WERE GONE AND NOW THEY ARE TO BUT I HAVE MY FROWN LINES NOT QUITE AS NOTICABLE BETWEEN THE BROWS ABOVE THE NOSE.HE SAID THAT WOULD CAUSE DROPPIng of the eyelids.it didn't at that time but now like you.are your eyes still watering full of guck.......mine aren't but do bother me abit.....don't get upset but at your age were your lines that noticeable on your forehead.....I went to a good plastic surgeon he told me if you have dropping it can become permanent and preceded to tell me look at me and he is in his forties and has it done all the time saying i don't want any wrinkles............i really want to have a bottom facelift .he told me it would be 8,000. the reason being i was put on medications that caused exreme bone loss and blew me up tp 50 lbs. over my weight.It also caused me to be borderline diabetic and major bloating.i waS SMALL all my life and went off those pills after 9 yrs. of non existing,,got back on my feet and went back to normal but now have accesses skin on the bottom part of my face aging me...people say it is not bad but it is and because i missed those yrs i want them back by fixing my face.......does anyone blame me? i went through hell.that doctor said it was too bad that happened to me and siaid you have good facial features and cheek bones and could really make me get back those yrs. lost and then some.he also told me i was a beautiful looking lady and made me feel 10 ft. high although i don't agree with him totally..............i really want to have it done but you have to go in hiding for weeks ...can you just imagine what it would look like after surgery with what the few little injections of botox has done..hang in there ...i really feel like you do and i care

1 month - I woke up today and instantly knew...

1 month - I woke up today and instantly knew something was VERY wrong. My eyes felt so heavy that I could barely open them. I was terrifed to look, but could feel that they were more swollen that usual with my fingers. I am going on 5 weeks and not only have I seen NO improvement - I am getting worse. It is becoming reality that I may never get my face back. I cannot live like this.


-:- Message from RealSelf staff -:-

This comment does not follow our Community Guidelines and/or Terms of Service. We reserve the right to remove any post for any reason.

I actually think you look fine if I saw you in public I wouldnt look twice, you dont look as bad as you think.

if this comment was for me, we all know our flaws and when the one good thing is your eyes it is really noticeable to yourelf and with the lump and brusing and eyes for slits, i had to go out and lack any confidence i had............did i mention the dr. hit a blood vessel, and said that caused the lump..i still think because i was frowning and he didn;t tell me to stop that is when the problem happened as my eyes started to bother me and run and guck....glad that is gone but i went on antibiotic drops...tonight my eyes are bothering me and I started the frops again....................hoping tomarrow is a better day and for you as well......take care

Day 35 - it has officially been 5 weeks today. No...

Day 35 - it has officially been 5 weeks today. No improvement. Back to bed now.


Sorry for my infraction. I hope all of you go back to normal (puffiness, drooping etc. gone) and consider a more natural way of maintaining a youthful appearance. There is skin care out there that can help. Not mentioning any names =) but with all the toxins and environmental issues and unhealthy food, do you all really want the invasive quick fixes? Just curious. Please think long and hard about plastic surgery. I've seen a lot of bad boob jobs in my life and those can be hidden by clothes, your face can't. Happy healing and strength in confidence to you that are suffering. You are all beautiful, because you're you. Take care.

Day 37 - I still have this terrible "tight"...

Day 37 - I still have this terrible "tight" feeling in my forehead - but it comes and goes oddly enough. The headaches are still present. I have either got used to having a constant headache or they are starting to get a little better, I am not sure honestly. My eyes look as awful as ever in the morning: sunken into my head and swollen wih drooping fleshing hanging in weird, bizarre looking patterns. By night, I notice that my eyes look a *little* less freakish - and this gives me hope. Sadly, when I wake up, any progress I had been making is replaced with the monster look. I don't even want to go to sleep because I dread seeing my eyes when I wake up :'(. I deperately need to take my daughter school clothes shopping, but I am consumed by anxiety over being seen in public. The way the skin hangs makes me look truly freakish. I have been leaving the house (with sunglasses) to take my daughter to the park or outside to play. Just being able to leave improves my mood. Well, time to sleep, sadly :'(. I dread seeing what I will wake up like.....


Hi KaelynsMom

Yes babe we're totally on the same page -and very close in age too (I'm 31)
Oh dear friday the 13th -well hun if its any consolation, -I look like something thats just jumped out of a grave too haha (I have to laugh sometimes because if i don't, I'll go mad)

To be honest, even if the doctor had told me what could possibly happen, and gave me the statistics of OUR shitty Botox (I know they are very low) I think I'd still gone through with it (I know that sounds daft) -but most people have the ''it wont happen to me attitude'' But then again who knows, i might of said ''bollocks to that'' and walked out lol.
But i didn't, I allowed a poison to be injected into my face -i'm such a numpty!

Oh babe, believe me I KNOW how you probably looked trying to curl or put mascara on your lashes! I actually laughed to myself this morning. I was holding my eyebrow up with the left hand, and applying mascara with my right -I looked so silly!

Snap! I cant seem to catch the full extent of my bulging cheeks, puffy eyebags, and indentations with a camera -but believe me they are there.

Ive read enough on the net about recovering from botox, not to expect improvements daily -more weekly. It will be 7 weeks this monday for me, and i know this sounds silly but, I'm replacing all my fluids with just green tea (which I hate) and water. The reason being is, because other muscles are working against the ones that dont, and my face is being pulled in all sorts of directions, I know Im gonna end up with new lines and wrinkles. So I'm doing the best by my skin by detoxing, taking my vitimins, and acai berries. I know nothing I do will make this shit disappear out of my system more quickly -the only thing real cure, is time.

Hope you to get your beautiful face back. -and I hope anyone else reading this and is suffering -I wish you a speedy recovery aswell :)

Hi K. I'm having a Botox disaster myself. I had Botox for the very first time on july 10th. BIG MISTAKE! -I'ts ruined my face.

Well it's been 6 weeks today since i had 'my bad botox.' Funnily enough, It's gone rather quickly! (but not quickly enough in my opinion) I HATE my result!! Chipmunk cheeks, dark circles underneath my eyes (the right eye is much worse than the left) prodruding temples that make a sort of hour glass shape. Strange sunken in/hollow eyes that make me look Much older than I did before. To be honest, it's made me feel like absolute shit. I was under the impression that having botox will make me feel much better about myself -well it's definitely had the adverse affect on me.
I try to stay positive about my disfigured face (ok slight exageration, but I deffo don't look like myself) in the hope that it will wear off in 3/4 months, because any possibility that it'll last any longer, or even permanant isn't an option -This has to disperse SIMPLE!
I've polluted my mind with horror stories about the effects of botox on the web (probably wasn't a good idea) but desperate times call for desperate measures! -And surprise surprise I'm by far the only person thats 'suffering' through having botox (or by my vanity) -who knows?? One thing for certain, and that's 100% is that I will never bow down to the botox needle again. I read some awful stories about people suffering with cheek ptosis, sunken eyes, indentations etc - all sorts of scary stuff lasting up to a year!

The moment I wake up, I look in the mirror hoping to see some improvement -But I see the same thing every day. Dark circles, chipmunk cheeks, sunken eyes etc. I cannot apply mascara unless i manually lift my brow with my fingers. I'm trying not to panic, and trying to remain positive that it'll wear off soon -thats the only way I can get through the day.
B.B. - I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!! I was injected just 3 days after you (on Friday the 13th - go figure) so you and I are on the same page! I have also read all the horror stories - terrifying, eh? The only thing getting me through is telling myself that I am through the worst. I wish I would have had knowledge of this type of side effect prior to botox! They say that the lid droop is in less than 1% or patients and is "extremely rare" - but fail to to mention that brow ptosis and the whole "puffy eye, saggy skin" look is indeed COMMON. They also fail to mention the same for cheek ptosis. I also have to manually lift my brow if I attempt to do anything with my lashes. Should have seen me trying to lift my brow with one hand and curl my eyelashes with the other.... I am sure it was quite commical to watch - but it brought me to tears. It has been a challenge to capture the true extent of my monster eyes with a camera. I wish I looked as normal as I do in the pictures! Anyway, please keep me updated on how you are doing. Hopefully, we are going to get our faces back soon :)

Day 42 - it has officially been 6 weeks and I look...

Day 42 - it has officially been 6 weeks and I look as terrible as ever. I have been sobbing and sobbing all morning. I look worst than I did weeks ago. Nothing helps. My face is ruined. My life is ruined. I have lost my job and lost out on precious time with my daughter. Every morning that I wake up, I wish that I hadn't. I will be spending today in bed hoping that I either wake up looking like myself - or don't wake up at all.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 43 - My face is never coming back. I woke up...

Day 43 - My face is never coming back. I woke up today looking the worse I have EVER looked. My eyes are swollen to the point of causing vision problems. I seriously would rather be dead. I am realizing that I can either live as a disfigured monster of a person or die - that's it. No other choice or hope. I have never felt so dark or depressed in my life. I have never prayed for death or thought of harming myself... until botox. I have no prior history of any type of mental illness or sucidial thoughts. I hate myself. I am no mother to my daughter anymore, botox has destroyed that. Destoryed my life. It is a very realistic possiblity that botox will claim my life.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Forgot to mention that I now have wrinkles back in...

Forgot to mention that I now have wrinkles back in my forehead. I have nearly full range of being able to move the muscles. However, I have had ZERO improvement regarding the bags under my eyes and the terrible swollen, sagging, eyelids. I posted a picture. I am worse than ever.


Im so here to support you as you know I went thru the same EXACT thing youre going thru.Know KM you will get better .I like getting the emails of others encouraging you.Lets me know we can come together for another .I will tell you this, when this shi is t over for you you are going to enjoy each and every second of your life,more than you did before,if thats the lesson it was for me.Remember this shit also makes you depressed it does something to our minds so remember this isnt the real you,it will pass .It seems like you will be like this forever but it wont.Remember I told you about the tea Drink up.youre in my prayers......Oh I love that hag word,describes people so well......so you see you stiil got the fire in ya !
I have been to a neurologist and a psychiatrist. They have told me I'm not within reach of medical help . The psychiatrist told me to meditate because medication will not help. My daughter is cared for by my husband and my mother - it isn't as if she is fending for herself. In addition to being horrifically disfigured, my health has rapidly deteriorated rendering me completely helpless and unable to care for my child. Due to the extreme double vision and constant headaches, I can't drive. I'm nauseous 24/7 and unable to eat most days. I'm down to 122 pounds - at nearly 5'11". Doctors are telling me there is no.help, I'm seeing no improvement, and I'm too ill to physically care for myself our child.thing is, there are numerous blogs and support groups of botox sufferers also feeling deep depression. It isn't so much that I want to die as it is that I have no quality of life anymore. Temporary or not, I've lost out on weeks of my life with no end in sight. I think it's important to be very honest about how I'm feeling so that if anyone else is going through the same thing, they know they aren't alone. I was hoping to be on the road to recovery by now - but I'm not.

For everyone that has been supportive, I sincerely thank you. Your kindness has meant so much. A few of you have really lifted my mood numerous times with how comedic you are. Again, thank you.

If you don't like what I'm writing, there's no need to be a hag, just don't read it. This is my post. If you don't like it - too bad. If you don't want further notifications of updates, figure out how to tien then off. It's not rocket science.
Lessons - i think you can turn off the email notifications. you are right....maybe kaelynsmom does need some in person support, but in the meantime, we can be supportive and encouraging....

I just wanted to pop in to say thank you to...

I just wanted to pop in to say thank you to everyone who has been so supportive. I woke up today feeling more like myself than I have in a very long time :). Even though my physical appearance is worse than it was weeks ago, I woke up in a great mood and I have to say it is thanks to everyone here. B.B, Adaku, CiCi, Stacey, Melbouren (and I might be forgetting lol) - thank you so much for helping me through this. The fact that you all, complete strangers, have taken time out of your lives to share your stories with me and lend your support, encouragment, and strength has really touched me. So, here is to a great day... and it is all thanks to you :)

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


P.s. please forgive any grammatical errors on my...

P.s. please forgive any grammatical errors on my posts. It's this damn phone of mine! xoxo


Hi all and specially Kaelyns Mom, I really hope you are all having a better day today. How wonderful it is that we girls can relate to each other as complete strangers. It is a special aspect of the female species and how great that we can support each other so well. I will NEVER go under the neeedle again and just wish that I had seen this site before doing so. I know it has been said so many times by us all WE WILL GET BETTER but time seems to pass so slowly. KM you are well over half way through the supposed recovery time of three to four months. PLEASE keep us informed - we all feel for you especially - you have been one wonderfully brave girl and done so much for the rest of us who are keeping our fingers crossed for you and for each other. I will continue to read this wonderful site on a daily basis ( I am in UK) so time lapse will occur. I personally am suffering from the dreaded eye problem but also have jaw and teeth problems with a very painful ache all the time. Dentist assures me there is nothing wrong with my teeth. I feel as if I have been socked in the jaw in a boxing ring. I would personally be interested to know if anyone else has had this side effect along with all the others. I am about seven weeks post "needle". My best wishes, support and all my thoughts to you KM and indeed to us all............one more day has passed to recovery!!
Hiya K (and everyone else) :)

Its been 7 weeks 1 day since my shitty Botox, -I'm seeing improvment! -not much, but improvment nethertheless. I still have the chipmunk cheekss, sunken eye effect, indentations etc BUT I see my forehead thawing out lol. Im able to move my brows more freely (still have to manually lift them with my fingers to apply any sort of cosmetic to my lashes tho)

Its purely a waiting game.

Glad your spirits are lifted today k, You have to stay positive babe x

Yay! I am glad to hear you are showing improvement! Saturday will be 7 weeks, 1 day for me - so maybe I'll get lucky and start to show some improvement by then as well. Maybe week 7 is the lucky one! Anyhow, this is great news that you are on the road to recovery :)

Day 48 - well, tomorrow will officially be 7 weeks...

Day 48 - well, tomorrow will officially be 7 weeks and sadly, I have not improved. The past week has by far been the hardest yet. I do have some movement back in my forehead, but my eyes remain extremely swollen and deformed. The inner corners of my eyes are by far the worse. I keep telling myself "1 more week, 1 more week"... and honestly I think that this is what has kept me going. Just a little progress would completely lift my spirits. Maybe I could snare my inner corners with fishhooks and tie them up :-P.


HI Adaku, As you will see I am new to this board but I read with interest your supportive comment about drinking healthy tea. I have just started drinking "Green Tea" / Do you think that this is the same sort of brand ? Only started for three days but I do believe it just may be helping. We are ALL friends on this site and feel for KM so much. Only respond if you have time and I really hope that you are now fully recovered and enjoying life once more..............
Hi Splinkymalinky,(love the name)I thought I sent out a reply but dont see it.So here I go again, so sorry if its another one.Yes green tea is an antioxidant which is also awesome! for this and in general womens health. The tea I got was Yogi brand and is called Detox.they have all sorts for different ailments.I got the detox cuz i wanted to get this stuff out of me.I got botox last year and had the exact effects of KM.My chipmunk cheeks(LOL) went down the next day after drinking,,also felt better day by day.my eyes got a bit better .I now drink green tea daily and sometimes the detox if I want to cleanse.After about 2 months felt better still not me but better.Had great results on skin no lines perfect freakin forehead (LOL) ,but its not worth it! you take care and keep us posted Peace....Adaku..
Hi Adaku, thank you so much for taking the time to respond. It was much appreciated and also knowing that there is support and someone who understands means so much. I am going straight out to try and buy some Yogi Green tea (detox). I have to say that today I feel slightly better although I am still wearing the dark glasses and won't go out without them. I am really hoping that the green tea will help with the jaw and tooth problem which I am positive is a side effect, especially as the dentist has assured me he can find nothing at all wrong with my teeth. It is so great to have a complete stranger as a friend as I am sure KM and all others on this board know. It gives you strength and encouragement. My very best wishes to KM if she reads this and I sincerely hope that all the encouragement being given on this site to all of us will make us feel a little more upbeat as each day passes. I am so so glad to hear Adaku that you seem to be back to normal - that alone is wonderful news for the rest of us. Thank you so much once again......warmest wishes to you and KM.......................Splinkymalinky

Day 52 - absolutely no progress. Not even a hint...

Day 52 - absolutely no progress. Not even a hint of relief. My daughter started school today and I has to wait in the car with glasses while my mom walked her to class. I look truly horrifying. I visited another plastic surgeon who said he had never seen such severe deformity from botox. I sobbed in hours office like a baby as he looked over my face agreeing that I'm horribly disfigured. He said there is no way to know if it's permanent because because he's never seen anything like it. He said almost all patients see relief between 6-8 weeks - but I've had absolutely none. I have movement back in my forehead and can create deep wrinkles now, but the inner corners of my eyes sag almost & are swollen so horribly that I look like I was beat in the face. I don't know how I will survive this. How am I not improving a tiny but after nearly 2 months?


Hi Kaelynsmom, how are you feeling today?
have u contacted an attorney? i know none of the md's on here will like this suggestion...but your case sounds like HUGE MALPRACTICE!!!!...
Kaelyns Mom, I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time. I know that you will get better. Believe you will get better. I have had my fair share of bad results from Dysport myself so I can relate. One thing that I ffeel definitely makes my bags better is cardio..an hour of it..I do either the step mill or elliptical and afterwards I feel like I look alot better. Yeah, going into the gym is tough, but afterwards I feel almost like myself. I don;t know if you are doing cardio. Just wanted to pass it along. I drink a gallon of water a day,too, to try and flush everyhting out,too. I think this hels ,too.Undereye rollers,too. I hope you are doing well:) Saty positive. You will get better.:)

Day 55 - Tomorrow will be 8 weeks and sadly I have...

Day 55 - Tomorrow will be 8 weeks and sadly I have no improved even a tiny bit. I actually got worse over the last 2 weeks :(. I am really starting to get scared that I will wind up needing very expensive, risky, painful surgery to *attempt* to repair my eyes. Starting tomorrow, I plan to attempt cardio and guzzling green tea like it's going out of style. Today I have been eating like a piggy. I found carmel apple cow tales and have successfully inhaled almost half a dozen lol. My eyes still look like absolue shit. I have some pictures to post soon.I even found another one from right before this nightmare started. Hopefully everyone is doing well and making progress!!


One more thing to try at night which may help reduce swelling..I do it....taking one benadryl before bed.Real lemon in your water,too, w/ your green tea. It will help reduce swelling and good for your skin,too. Just watch your teeth. The acid in the lemon can erode your teeth.You have to be religious in how you add this into your routine. Drink it from a straw, then rinse your mouth w/ water. Do NOT brush your teeth for up to an hr after you have the lemon. I have been squeezing one lemon in water in the am...wait an hr, brush my teeth...then do the same at night. I think it helps w/ the puffiness. It definitley makes your skin look awesome:)...Try Patricia Wexler anti puff gel under your eyes,too. You can buy at Bath and Body Works for $20..just tab on puffiness...just wanted to share more. tips that may help you...:)
I'll try all of this :). thank you so much!!!

Hahaha - I had a hilarious story that I had to...

hahaha - I had a hilarious story that I had to share with you guys :). I went to meijer with my cousin and while walking around (in sunglasses) I started to have a panic attack... so I told her I needed to wait in the car while she checked out. I walked outside, seen *my* jeep and hopped in. I helped myself to some gum out of the cup holder, plugged my phone into her car charger, took of my shoes and kicked my feet up, and was in the process of going through her cds when a total stranger opened up the drivers door and was staring at me, mouth agape. I was completely alarmed until I realized that 1.) I didn't drive to meijer, my cousin did. 2.) had I drove, I would have drove my AVENGER because I sold my Jeep last YEAR. 3.) I was sitting in some strange dudes car, pilfering through his gum, going through his cds, while using his car charger and putting my bare feet all over his car LOL. I muttered some apology and said that I thought it was my car. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if I could have got out of his jeep and into a similar one.... but nope. I get out of his 2008 green jeep and into my cousins white 97 sable!!! Oooops. My eyes still look like total and complete shit with zero improvement... but that made my day and I had to share.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 60 - today has been extremely hard on me. I am...

Day 60 - today has been extremely hard on me. I am officially 2 months in (3 days shy of 9 weeks) and I haven't had even a tiny bit of improvement. There is likely permaent damage to my periorbital muscle around my eye. I now have a lot of movement back in my forhead and can make 11 lines again, but my eyes remain puffy, swollen, and hideous. I am really trying so hard not to break down in tears right now. I have tried the detox tea and I have also been drinking the juice of one lemon each day. In addition, I have been massaging my forehead for hours throughout the day and applying compresses as hot as I can tolerate. Nothing helps. I still have the puffy inner corners and bags under my eyes. According to numerous "experts" - I should be showing improvement by now, but that could not be further from the truth. This has by far been the hardest, most disabling, lonely experience of my life. I am so ashamed that I did this to myself. Emotionally, physically, socially, professionally - I have been destroyed. All traces of beauty havbeen stolen from my face an I no longer recogonize the monster in the mirror looking back at me from its sunken, disfigured, grotesquely swollen eyes. I have became a complete recluse. I compulsively check my face and feel my heart break every single time I realize that I am not getting better and may not ever. If botox truly only lasts from 90-120 days, I should be at the halfway mark.I am not. I have had botox in the past and it wore off MUCH faster than this. I think the truth is that some muscles do not recover... and I believe the one around the eye might be one of them. From the way it was explained to me, that muscle "squeezes" excess fluid out from around the eye. Since mine has been damaged by the botox and cannot function, the fluid remains and my eyes swell to the point of causing vision problems. I have been researching like a mad woman and have came across articles published by doctors warning people that going to "untrained" professionals can cause PERMANENT disfigurment... but going to a "trained professional" will "completely abolish all chances of permanent side effects". It makes me sick the way they lie and bend the truth to suit their needs. They could care less how many lives are ruined by botox as long as their pockets are lined with cash. The place that ruined my face, Age Rewind in West Bloomfield, MI swears that botox did NOT do this to my face.... even though they took pictures of me sitting in the chair moments before the botox looking healthy and pretty with normal eyes. I seriously feel nothing but pure hate towards them. I feel like sitting my disfigured ass outside their office, holding a before picture, and showing my monster face to everyone that is considering walking through their door. They PROMISED me that they would only do 12 units and then they realized that their needle had extra. Rather than stop, they risked my safety and health so that they could charge me for another 9 units.... and why did they do that? Becaue they freaking knew they could get away with it. There is NOTHING in place to protect innocent people from vultures like this. I had no way of knowing that they were going to overdose me and I DID NOT consent to 21 units - yet they just poked into random spots seeing $$$ pop up with each poke. God forbid they lose out on $100 worth of profit. Who gives a shit if they ruin my face by improperly injecting - they wanted that $100 and it was absolutely worth the risk of ruining my face to them because they knew full and damn well that I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I am just furious. Sorry for the novel.... I just needed to vent. I swear, if I could just take this one place down and prevent another person from having to live this nightmare, I would not feel all my suffering is in vain.


Dear KM how I feel for you. I know how painful it is to look in a mirror and I avoid them as much as I can. I am about the same time level as you and I am still drinking green tea like about eight glasses a day. I do believe tho that we will recover. Please stay positive. Remember we are sharing this misery with who knows how many thousands of others. I applaud all of your comments about the perpetrators of our agony. Do they sleep at night! No, they are up all night counting their money. I will keep checking for your news.

Day 67 - my eyes are sunken into my head, deep...

Day 67 - my eyes are sunken into my head, deep wrinkles have formed under, and I now have horrific bags. There is no end in sight to this nightmare. I am devestated.


Every time I read your updates, my heart breaks. I am always hoping that TODAY will be the good news day. I am so sorry you have to endure this. I had my last round of botox in June and the wrinkles are just now starting to come back. Something tells me that since you have been getting botox for a while, it will take a bit longer because the muscle holds on to it longer over time. So that being said, I think 3 months may be the turning point. Try to stay strong, I know how hard it is, to wake up every day feeling the way you do....we have all done something really stupid for the sake of looking better. I wish there was more I could do.....you are in my prayers....xoxoxo

Day 75 - I think I see the first signs of...

Day 75 - I think I see the first signs of improvement! My eyes are still very puffy in the inner corners and there are still bags underneath, but I can tell they are less swollen. My vision is no longer blurry or double and the headache has been absent for 3 full days! I'm concerned about my new facial asymmetry however. The botox is wearing off unevenly leaving my right brow significantly higher than the right. Regardless, I am ecstatic to see even minimal improvement. Can't wait to toss my sunglasses!


YAY!!! Best news I have heard this week!
I am so happy for you, Kaelynsmom. It will get better and better here on out. xo
Hiya kaelynsmom. I'm so pleased you are starting to see improvement. I'm improving slightly myself; although like you, a bit uneven lol. My left side is much better than the right. I still have chipmunk cheeks , and the indentations on my cheeks, and on the outter part of my eyes (where my crows feet used to be) Im able to raise my eyebrows, still have to lift them manually tho to put mascara on. Its a waiting game.

Let me know how your getting on :) x

Day 77 - well, it's been 11 weeks since this...

Day 77 - well, it's been 11 weeks since this nightmare began and it is painfully obvious that some of the damage my indeed be permanent. I woke up today looking saggy, baggy, and as awful as ever before. All progress is no longer visable. While I am seeing that the botox is wearing off and I now have much more movement in my forehead, my face is completely different. I have been using dormat muscles vigorously to keep my eyes open and as a result, the shape of my eyes have changed dramatically (for the worse). Every facial expression I make is now altered (also for the worse). My face is extremely lopsided. The puffiness in my eyes still remains and the extreme bags underneath along with the dark circles, hallows, and wrinkles are also of great concern. I had NO issues at all around my eyes prior to botox and I did not have botox injected for crows feet so I really don't understand how so much damage in that area, but it did. Doctors say this area is the very hardest and last to recover - if it ever does recover. Doctors say patients report that the under eye area has not improved even after years. I do look far older than any 28 year old woman should look. I have been starting to come out of hiding and everyone who has seen me has commented on how "tired" I look. According to doctors, my misery should be over in just another 5 weeks - but this is absolutely not a reality. I only hope that this point that I do not regress any further.

I have my fingers crossed that soon I will be able to toss my sunglasses before going out in public. I dream of the day where I can wake up and live my life without the constant worry of my eyes looking freakish. For 77 long, painful, agonizing days I have been absolutely consumed with this botox nightmare. Every single day, I rush to the mirror when I wake up only to find that there is a stranger looking back at me. There is rarely a thought in my mind that does not include my botox related deformities.This has been the most painful lesson of my life. I wish desperately that I would have known what I know now back before I let them stab my face full of this poison. Another week down.....

"Wisdom is expensive and is often paid for with pain"

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 81- I am sobbing devastated. I have been...

Day 81- I am sobbing devastated. I have been "sleeping" almost fully upright for over a week now because I found that it helped with the swelling. I have been seriously sleep deprived because of these sleeping conditions and started falling asleep randomly in bizarre places. My body was begging for sleep and I felt myself deteriorating rapidly. I got a call from my boss last week and was set to go back to work today. Although I have been riddled with anxiety, I was so happy. Somehow I managed to lose one of my pillows during my 4 measly hours of sleep. I woke up in excruciating agony. My head felt like it was in a vice. I touched my eyes and felt they were almost swollen shut. As soon as I sat fully up, I had double vision and it felt like I was being cracked in the head with a hammer. I have vomited several times from the pain. My life truly is over. I'm not going to recover. There is no hope of having a normal life. I wish I was dead. I have no quality of life at all. I can't drive, I can't work, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I CAN'T LIVE!

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Week 12 - I've deteriorated dramatically since my...

Week 12 - I've deteriorated dramatically since my last post. I'm so scared... not just because my eyes are worse than ever, but because the double vision is back with a vengeance & so are the headaches. Earlier today I went to get something and blacked out. I was home alone, so I'm not sure how long I was out for. When my mom found me, I was rambling that botox was "making my brain swell". I don't remember this. I'm not safe to be alone and I cannot be trusted to care for my daughter if I'm around going to be falling unconscious. The swelling around my eyes is just crazy. It looks like I have donuts implanted under my skin around them. I believe the fluid really might be building up behind my eyes. I'm so afraid. The doctor I seen today told me to ice my eyes and asked if I was abattered woman! I don't know where to turn for help. Doctors are either genuinely baffled, lying, or stupid. None have offered any help, just promised I'd be fully recovered in 12-16 weeks. I'm afraid for my life.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


WEEK 12 - Visited an ETHICAL, HONEST, and...

WEEK 12 -

Visited an ETHICAL, HONEST, and highly EDUCATED facial plastic surgeon today. He sat with me for over an hour while I explained where I was injected, and showed him over 100 pictures (I have documented my botox torment each and every day with photos and video). He CONFIRMED that my symptoms ARE from botox and said that it is NOT uncommon as many people are injected inpromperly and the botox DOES travel to other areas that were unintended. I have now seen a neurologist, a plastic surgeon, and a general doctor that all AGREE after seeing my abundance of photos/videos that everything I am suffering from is without a doubt from botox.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 88 - relapsing again. No improvement...

Day 88 - relapsing again. No improvement appearance wise. Eyes are more sunken, swollen, and puffy than previous weeks - especially in the morning. Vision problems & a variety of other hellish botox related symptoms are back with a vengeance. Looking forward to showing my hideous monster face in court & shutting down the spa that ruined my life. At least they won't be able to destroy anyone else after I'm done with them.


p.s. just realized my previous post was edited.... how bizarre. A lawyer has accepted my case. Most due to how well I have documented my suffering. If you are considering botox, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! This is crucial! Take before pictures and videos. Take pictures/video DAILY if you have abnormal results. Keep a journal and record every little detail daily. This will be necessary to prove botox caused your problems and if applicable, proving your dr/injector was negligent. I've lost my job, my life, precious time with my family, and suffered more than I ever thought humanly possible. The spa that injected me and the doctor overseeing it are responsible, but of course denying it and blaming things like "allergies" and "previous nerve damage" (not sure where they pulled that from considering I never filled out a health history form). They conveniently "lost" my before pictures, so it is a god send that I was so diligent with taking my own. I have racked up a boat load of medical bills as well. Had I not documented so well, they could have easily got off the hook with their pathetic excuses.

Day 91 - 13 weeks - 3 + Months = GETTING WORSE....

Day 91 - 13 weeks - 3 + Months = GETTING WORSE. Extremely swollen, sunken eyes with HUGE bags and new deep wrinkles. I look DISGUSTING and will likely be facing surgery to repair the extensive damage. The swelling is the cause of my vision problem and I still cannot drive. Botox has destroyed my face and my life. I regret it with every second of every day. I would rather lose a limb than live one more day with this hiddeous monster face.


How ironic, I'm reading this in a waiting room at the doctors! I'm here for something to ease my red severely swollen eyes from Botox injections 2 days ago. I was told it would get better but it's getting worse. It was also blamed on an allergy. I look horrific!
hi lisa, I'm so sorry to hear you are enduring a similar fate :(. Doctors will blatantly lie to your face & make ridiculous excuses. I've spent the last 92 days of my miserable existence researching this type of botox eye swelling - it's very very very common. I've talked to nearly 100. About half see improvement around 8 weeks. A small percent see improvement sooner - hopefully you will be in one of those categories. The other 40% start to see improvement between 6-9 months. The other 10% are between 1-2 years and still suffering. There are a number of factors that will decide how long your recovery will take: 1.) how many units you were injected with 2.) how soon the swelling occurs 3.) where you were injected 4.) if you had been receiving injections in the past. 1.) it seems most people who have over 20 units are in it for at least 4-6 months. 2.) the sooner you see swelling, the longer it will generally last. I noticed at day 2. The botox does not take full effect until 2 weeks.... so do not be alarmed if you worsen even further. People who noticed the swelling later on generally recovered within 4-6 weeks 3.) where were you injected? forehead only (no glabella) tends to recover the quickest. Glabella area + forehead is a longer recover. And those injected around the eyes are the slowest to improve. 4.) people who had prior treatments seem to take longer to regain muscle function. Now, if your doctor isn't a complete dirt bag, he'll explain what is REALLY happening to you and stop blaming allergies and other garbage excuses. There are a few things that could be going on: 1.) you were injected too heavily in the forehead causing your eyebrows to lower, which can make your eyes seem puffy. manually raise your eyebrow with your finger. does this completely solve your swelling? If not, the muscle around your eye was likely weakened resulting in one of two problems - or both. Around our eye lays a "donut" of fat to protect it from our skull. Over the fat is muscle in a similar donut shape. The muscle has 2 primary functions: 1.) pump out lymphatic fluid and 2.) hold that fat around the eye in place. If that muscle is affected by botox, be prepared for a longer recovery. There are no studies regarding the recovery of that particular muscle and I had 2 plastic surgeons tell me that swelling related to that muscle either failing to pump or retain fat often persist long after the botox is gone and your wrinkles return. My biggest piece of advice is to take pictures DAILY. If you're in the same sad boat as me, you may need that evidence to hold your doctor accountable and prove your case. This experience is like riding a roller coaster in HELL. You will have good days, bad days, and days where you wish you wouldn't have to see another day. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to speed the process. Your body must battle it on it's own. Try to sleep with your head elevated. Mornings will be worse.
ran outta room on my last post :). Mostly, do your best to find a support system. There are boat loads of us out there. Stay positive if you can and if you can't, reach out to someone who can lift your spirits. Did they take before pictures of you prior? Ask for them immediately so they can't "lose" them. There are no punishments or repercussions for doctors who screw up and it's every easy for them to brush you off. I cannot stress how important documenting is. I'm wishing you a very speedy recovery. I hope this information helps.

Day 98 - Week 14 - I just cant believe so much...

Day 98 - Week 14 - I just cant believe so much time has passed and that I have still not improved. I just look downright UGLY. My eyes change daily, but there are NEVER any good days - just bad, terrible, and days when I wish I wouldn't have any more days. This is my favorite time of year and I have been trapped in this house like a prisioner - physically sick and disfigured. My eyes are both sunken and swollen at the same time - there are HUGE bags under my eyes and a variety of new horrible wrinkles. I am desperate to recover. DESPERATE. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate my appearance. I am consumed. I am broken, ashamed, and hideous. I have no life and nothing brings me enjoyment. My daughter avoids me because my appearance disturbs her. I have to play with her wearing sunglasses - she insists on this and it BREAKS MY HEART. Children are so honest. Brutally honest. I truly feel my life is over. 14 weeks and NO improvement? Continuing to get worse? I was supposed to be better by now according to every single doctor (except one). I'll post pictures soon.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Day 105 - getting worse still. See the pictures....

Day 105 - getting worse still. See the pictures. They speak for themselves. My life and face are in shambles.


Hiya kaelyns mum, I thought Id give you an update myself.. My eyes are more sunken in than ever, I honestly think this is due to being able to raise my eyebrows, so its showing the parts of the eyes that were before covered by my droopy brow.. I have exposed orbital rims due to the the fat pads dropping. I have chipmunk cheeks, and cheek droop still. I have disgusting horizontal/saggy skin inderneath my eyes too. dents in the cheeks also, And to top it off, i have large veins that have appeared down from each eyebrow that spreads down my cheeks.. Very strange :( HOWEVER I see improvement, -I know that sounds strange after what Ive just said BUT, I see it this way; If the stuff is wearing off then its improving! As soon as the botox is completely outta my system, I'll be doing muscle exercises to get my face back.. Im not giving up hope I RUFUSE TOO!! I'm not letting the shitty botox win, simple! Dont give up hope hun, sending you loads of love :) x

Day 112 - still looking hideous. The bags under my...

Day 112 - still looking hideous. The bags under my eyes are getting progressively worse and I have the most painful dry eyes that I could ever imagine. My eyes are as freakish as ever.... sunken, swollen, huge bags, dark circles, and they are changing differently - so I look like I have had a stoke. On eyelid is drooping now so that just adds to my ugliness. I had went today to get a haircut and was crying to the hair dresser. Turns out her husband is a MD that injects botox. He was bringing their children to the salon, so she asked him to see to me, not as a patient, but as a favor. He said that he HAS seen this before and he could not honestly tell me that I would recover :'(. He said that I "SHOULD" but expect it to take several more months. He agreed that my eyes were swollen and I shamefully showed him my 800+ pictures - his was response was "Wow. That is some bullshit. I am sorry that happened to you. I see what you are saying and you are right." He then went on to tell me some HORROR stories that made my skin crawl. He was explaining to me what the proper dilution for botox was and how much botox costs the provider. He said that he commonly sees botox on groupon etc and the prices are so low that the providers could not realistically be giving botox - so he is confident they are over diluting it or using a cheaper "generic" aka illegal form of botox. From what he told me, botox costs the provider $5-$6 per unit when properly diluted. He even admitted that he had doctor friends that over dilute to save money. NOBODY IS WATCHING THESE DOCTORS/HACKS!!! He said that he was personally shocked to see how many professional, licensed DOCTORS were doing this to basically make themselves even more money. He said that hack shops disguised as fancy med spa and even legit doctor offices pretty much keep a bottle of real botox in stock so that they can use the serial numbers off the vial just in case the need to "cover their asses" - but instead, they either use cheaper stuff or double dilute. Anyway, I am 4 months in and have not even came close to returning to my old self :(


Hi Kaelyns Mom, I just read through your horrific botox journey and my heart goes out to you! I used to get botox for crows feet, but after having a bad experience of eye and sinus pain and anxiety after a round of dysport for crows feet, I finally realized that I had been playing with fire in using botox (and this last time dysport) as a beauty remedy. I could actually taste the dysport for a brief moment when it was incorrectly injected...My sister went through a similar experience as yours with her first and only use of botox. She was horrified and the stress was immense. So sad to be subjected to this...Why I am writing you is just to serve as a reminder that your face will return to its prior 100% natural state in just a bit more time to pass...I can imagine that some people have told you it may be permanent or your fears sometimes make you contemplate horrific thoughts like this. I can understand why, but, please, remind yourself everyday that this is temporary and will go away and you will be restored to your natural and very beautiful self!! I send you LoveLightEnergy~*** You are beautiful before, Now, and in the future when that dam botox is out of your system entirely. You never stopped being beautiful...it's all an illusion, and I am right there with you, so as is the rest of us....
Hi B.B. So glad to hear from you! I was wondering how you were! I am happy to hear you are seeing improvment and I just love your positive attitude. My eyes are also sunken at this point..... but thy are also swollen. It is tricky to explain and taking pictures fails to capture just how shitty I truly look. My doctor said the sunken eye look is due to previously dormat mucles having to work out super hard to raise my brow while the botox paralyzed the ones that normally did. I look like a klingon type thing! Anyhow, I appreciate the note :). Keep me posted!
thought the sunken eye look/exposed orbital rims was due to it being Hiya hun, OMG cant believe the shit your going through! I know the botox hit you bad, -its hit me bad too :( I look like absolute shit.. Ive NEVER felt to ugly in my life. My orbital rims are actually exposed (not plesent) Some days, I honestly feel that this is permanent BUT botox is meant to be temporary isnt it??? (well thats what the fake arse pretend doctors like to tell us) -I think in all honesty, no one actually knows.. I do believe we'll get better (regardless of time) Think I'm gonna fall in the 6-9months catagory.. But my luke is rather shit so I'll probably fall in the 1yr and over!! lol.. Hope not!!.. I weakened because of being injected far to deeply into to the Orbicularis oculi and the fat pads sunk?? Or migration to the eye are after watered down botox?? x

Day 124 - I haven't been up to updating lately. I...

Day 124 - I haven't been up to updating lately. I wish I could say I am seeing improvement - but I am not. However, I did order a facial exercise program - Carolyn's Facial Fitness - and I am extremely excited to give it a try. I seen on the website that other botox sufferers had tried Caroylns' system and had great results. I actually took the time to write an email and send my pictures and was SHOCKED that Carolyn herself actually wrote me back offering to personally help me by recommending the exercises that she feels may be the most beneficial for my eyes. This really blew me away. What customer service! I had a coupon, so the entire system only cost me $29 WITH shipping. She shipped my package within hours of purchasing, so it should be arriving soon. She was kind enough to send me another personal email with some excercises I can do while I wait for my package. I will post some pictures of how I am looking these days (not much change - still puffy, saggy, crinkly, with bags) and then I will post weekly with new pictures to determine if I am making progress with the facial exercise. It isn't a "quick fix" but I really feel that it can help me. Looking forward to giving it a try :)


Thank you so much for this note :). It made me smile on one of my worse days!

Day 130 - haven't been able to pull myself to...

Day 130 - haven't been able to pull myself to update or do much of anything really. Have basically just laid in bed. I am completely withdrawn and avoiding my friends and family. I have relapsed horrifically. All symptoms are back full force and my face is more disfigured than EVER before. I will post pictures soon. It has been almost 19 weeks and I don't know that I can survive much longer. I have barely ate in days. I have no desire to do anything and even simple tasks like brushing my teeth feel overwhelming. I have a doctors appointment in the morning & I am not even hoping for good news. All I can hope for is that I can save other people from a similar fate. My life is over.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


Week 18 (almost 19) - Was told today by the...

Week 18 (almost 19) - Was told today by the speciaist that he does not think my face can recover on its own. Looking at around $10,000 worth of plastic surgery to repair my face and hopefully regain my vision.


cannot believe the hell you are still dealing with....i feel so bad for you as I was living in a nightmare for quite some time but at least mine went away....my eyes are looking good and only have a few fine lines showing on my forehead and my Botox was done on July 27th. i hate to see the deep lines back and hope they aren't by Christmas at least but botox is only suppose to last for 3 mths....in your case you were hoping to see results in a few months but you are still going through your hell and it is good to know some professional people are on your side...Are you going to take legal action and will these people be there for you....i imagine the expense would be harendous...i have not been keeping up for quite some time as i am dealing with severe pain from other health issues and trying to function everyday because that's the way i am but i will be following your posts and i truly wish your nightmare would end..........take care.....we care
Hey KaelynsMom, I am so sorry to hear that you still aren't seeing improvement and will have to consider surgery. Have any of the doctors talked about helping with helping with a malpractice suit? Or does the waiver you signed prevent that from being an option? I wish there was something I or this board can do to help. I see a doctor that I would trust explicitly, if you would like me to talk to him, let me know. You're in my prayers this holiday season. xoxox

Week 20 - This will be my last post until I start...

Week 20 - This will be my last post until I start to show signs of improvement. I hate never having anything positive to say. It truly breaks my heart. My face has been ruin, life destroyed.... it is as if I have been erased as a person. Even if I am lucky enough to have a day where I feel human, I certainly do not look like it. When I compare pictures of my face to ones from before botox, the difference is beyond horrific. My entire face has drooped. My eyes are swollen, with huge bags under them. I have HUGE muscles under my eyebrows that make me look like a caveman. I am now losing my hair by the handful and you can see my scalp in many places. I am not sure if this is a direct side effect of the botox or just from the stress the botox caused. Either way, it is the fault of botox. I still have double vision, hot flashes, and headaches from hell. I still cannot drive. I have accepted that this really might be my life now. It is as if I died the day I was injected. I look around my house and it is as if it is frozen in time from back in July. Scrapbooking that I intended to do for the family vacation that I couldn't take remains untouched. Several cute outfits I bought for summer hang in my closet with tags. The garden that I had intended to plan remains in the seed packages. The new face mask I special ordered that I couldn't wait to try sits in my bathroom with the safety seal still on. On my computer are several work schedules I created for my staff members that I never emailed out because I was never able to return to work. A sticky note on my frige reminding myself of my dental cleaning appointment that I couldn't attend. All beauty from my face - erased. All happiness from my life - erased. I push through my days, looking very haggard, tired, old... balding.... feeling entirely ill and ultimately just counting down the hours until I can go back to bed. My poor family has suffered too.... especially my sweet, beautiful little girl. I missed her first day of kindergarden, her halloween party, her school carnival. I pray that she will still have some memory of her Mommy from before. A Mommy that loved taking her to the park, having picnics, playing in our backyard, making cloud shapes, and loved spending time with her.  I love her so much and I feel like such a failure of a Mother. I am so sorry for her suffering. I do my best to hide it from her and do what I can.... but even at her age, she realizes that her Mommy is not ok anymore.

If I ever get better, I will never take another day of having my health for granted EVER again. I pray I can come back someday and say I am better.... but that is not realistic. I pray that everyone else suffering will find a recovery quicker. I hope that if nothing more, my story can help someone or prevent others from getting botox. The truth is ugly, just like me. I have found some truly wonderful people on here. Thank you all for being so kind. It was your kindness that got me through my hardest days. Take care everyone.


hi, hope you had a great christmas and new years with your family and friends,, i sincerely hope things are getting better for you and the future is starting to look bright oxoxox

Six month update - Looking worse than ever....

Six month update - Looking worse than ever. Shocking really. Face is destroyed. Eyes are so swollen on top that I have no upper eyelids and under are HUGE hammock like bags that bulge so far that I can actually see them when I look down. Forget about trying to smile I barely look human. My eyebrows are "caving in" causing a hiddeos, angry look with "11" lines that I DID NOT HAVE prior (I was NEVER treated for crows feet or 11 lines - only verticle wrinkles). I have been told by 3 different doctors that I will now need a lower bleph once my face "stablizes". My eyes hurt, burn, and feel heavy as if they are filled with vaseline. Now, I would like to mention that I have had a few decent days - but very few. Now I am 150% worse than I was back in my first month. My entire face has dropped leaving me with cheeks that look like droopy dog and the muscles around my eyebrows have "bulked" up leaving my glabella area looking swollen and caveman-ish. My skin quality is HORRIBLE. It is loose and hangs off my forehead and eyes. The shape of my eyes are completely different and my entire face is lopsided and uneven. I look NOTHING like myself. NOTHING. I don't just look old, scary, angry, and ugly - I look like some inbred creature that would hunt rats out of a gutter. I try to remain hopeful, but with all these doctors saying I wont recover, all the women I have met that have spent years damaged, and with the fact that my face is now getting worse at 6 months out - I don't know that I will ever heal. I know I will not ever get my face back from before botox. I just pray for one that I can show in public.

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


7 month update (29 weeks, 2 days) - still no...

7 month update (29 weeks, 2 days) - still no positive change, yet there are changes. Month 7 has been by far the worse yet. My eyes are still very swollen and puffy, especiallyin the morning. I still have huge bags and tear trough deformity. My left side of my face still has some cheek ptosis. My eyebrows are still uneven and caving inward creating hideous 11 lines I did NOT have before. I have all my old wrinkles back, plus 100 new ones. My skin is VERY saggy and loose on my outer corners of my eyes. It literally hangs like mudflaps. My forehead skin feels loose as well. This has not been a good month, but lucky for me we have had blizzard like weather for weeks and I have been able to use the weather as an excuse to stay home. The worse change is the HUGE bulky muscles under my eyebrows (they were recruited to lift my dead, paralyzed botox muscles) and they look horrifying. I look like a neanderthal - that is no joke. It's really bad and make my eyes look sunken deep, deep, deep into my skull. My eyes are now 2 different sizes. My right side and left are so dramatically different that I look like 2-face. I miss my life and my face so much :(. I will update again in 2.5 weeks (that will be the 8 month mark).

Please join RealSelf or sign in.


8 months - Still looking hideous. My entire face...

8 months - Still looking hideous. My entire face is now drooping. I am truly heartbroken and wish for death daily. I look more than ugly and hideous. The only thing that keeps me from ending it all is my poor daughter who has suffered immensely as she lost her once happy, fun, young Mommy. I died the day botox was injected. Died. I have ZERO quality of life and literallly drag through my days anxiously awaiting being able to go to sleep. I wish I could show my face to the world so they could see how horrific the disfigurement botox caused me truly is. I wish I could post videos on here. I can say honestly that at nearly 35 weeks, I look worse than I did at month 1. I have accepted that the damage is permanent and I will never look normal or like myself ever again. I don't know how I will continue living this way.


still a mess, I feel sooooooo bad for you......I went through hell as you know for weeks and was horrified to see someone that knew me so instead became house bound for that time...now forehead wrinkles have been back for some time and I picked up the phone and booked two appts. with two different plastic surgeons thinking I would do it again and they would know what they are doing and more qualified than a gp....still hesitant and cancelled them as a more health issue has come up and it is crucial

Week 37 - I feel like I am reaching a breaking...

week 37 - I feel like I am reaching a breaking point. I have no hope left. I know I am going to be disfigured forever. I continue to get worse. I am DESPERATE for the surgery that doctors say that I need... but cannot have it due to the changes in swelling. I cannot put into words how ugly I look or how much pain I suffer through every minute. It hurts just ot live and I feel like I should just be euthanized. I have NO quality of life and NO will to live. NONE. I live in HELL. Every single day for 255 - TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE DAYS - I have suffered with NO relief. I can do NOTHING for my daughter as a mother because I am in constant pain and half blind. Please, please God help me. I cannot go on much longer.



-:- Message from RealSelf staff -:-

This comment does not follow our Community Guidelines and/or Terms of Service. We reserve the right to remove any post for any reason.
hi,,, please let us know how you are goin??? haven't heard from you darlin!!!!!!
Very concerned about you. How are you doing? You havnt posted in awhile love.
Name not provided

Very courteous staff, BUT I have no doubt in my mind that my negative results are from poor technique.

1 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
3 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
1 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
3 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
4 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
Was this review helpful? 11 others found this helpful