Risk too great-The Nose Makes the Face - Washington, DC

I was the pretty girl but with a wonky, asymmetrical nose. But people that I know and don't know told me I was beautiful all the time. Still, I remember the first time I saw my nose profile. I was 12 years old and I was surprised. I had never really seen my profile. I had a hump develop after puberty. At 17, I would look at my nose in the mirror and see what I could change about it. At 21 I had my first consultation, but decided after I was shown the simulation "after" photos that the typical change performed by surgeons was too drastic. I searched until I came across a top surgeon that I decided had a conservative approach. I wanted minor tweaks. A less bulbous tip. a slight reduction of the hump. I wanted to wake up and look like me but better. I finally had my surgery at 25.

The past 4 months have literally been horrible. I have thick skin, so the swelling was ridiculous. I looked absolutely hideous the first month. The swelling in the tip was really really bad. I didn't even recognize myself until I hit the 2 month mark. I became obsessed with taking pictures and trying to see progress. It was a big shapeless blob. Then as it started taking on its new shape, I realized how so many things change with a nose job: how you look in pictures, pictures with flash (I look worse in those at the moment), how you look under different lighting, how it can look natural under certain lighting but the "operated" look is definitely visible under others. More so, my dorsum was slightly over-resected, so I had the option of filing down the hump some more (which I did not want to do because, again, I did not want a drastic change in how I look, and the profile is usually the more obvious change) so I just had a restylane filler to fill the dip in the meantime until I can undergo a procedure to build the cartilage back up. Also, with my tip made less bulbous, my nostrils appear flared when I smile and highlighted my asymmetrical nostrils. I also developed indentations on the sides of my nose. It has brought too much negativity into my life, I became obsessive about every aspect of my nose, and it literally consumed my thoughts. I've avoided so many social gatherings because I have been so self-conscious. I don't think it's obvious to most people that I've had a nose job, and it's by no means an ugly looking nose or deformed in anyway. I just like my before nose better. I wish I had done LESS. If I could do it again, I would definitely NOT getting any tip grafts put in. I would just file down the hump and cut the muscle that makes my nose turn down when I smile. I realize how much I liked my nose and how it added to the beauty of my face rather than detracted. I also realize that with a new nose, there will be aspects you don't like about it, just like your old nose. There are too many risks involved and your nose can drastically change your appearance. If something goes wrong, you have to wait AT LEAST 6 months to do anything about it. A revision surgery is just added expense and has a longer recovery time. Also, when you make your nose smaller, you lose a lot of definition that can take a long time to return as the skin shrinks to the new shape. I don't know how I will feel about it in a few months from now, especially since the swelling is still dissipating and it's looking better each week, but I still feel that if I could do it again, I probably wouldn't.

I had only told two people before my surgery. Afterwards, not a single person noticed, including immediate family members who live with me and my own mother who couldn't tell anything was different over video chat.

This past week, I decided to specifically ask two of my best friends whom I hadn't told before. Both have known me for at least a decade. Both said that I look exactly the same to them.

I have realized how much a cosmetic procedure messes with your head. I don't think I have ever looked at my nose as much as I have since my procedure. It is really toxic and for that reason alone if I could redo all this, I would not get ANY tip work done.

I also just saw my before and after pictures at the doctor's office. I am happy that I got rid of my hump, but I think my front profile looked better before :( I still have swelling, and I hope I will be happy with my results at the one year mark, but again, I wish I hadn't gotten any tip work done. It just wasn't worth it for me, especially now that it has brought more attention to my nostrils, which flare a little bit when I smile ( I had NEVER noticed my nostrils before my tip was narrowed).

I still think Dr. Chaboki is a fantastic surgeon and is the right choice for conservative surgery.

But, is all this pain really worth it for a change so minor? definitely debatable.

:( I wish I'd never touched my tip and never gotten grafts. maybe others can't tell at all, but I did this to feel better and now I just feel worse. My nose looks so fake under florescent lighting and today I was at the store and they had that security camera where you self-checkout and I was horrified by my reflection. It looks SO FAKE. I am utterly devastated by the results and my decision to undergo a rhinoplasty. I will have to live with this for the rest of my life :(