Here goes. Much like many others in this nifty...
Here goes. Much like many others in this nifty little community, I have a one month old blob of a coverup tattoo on my shoulder and chest. The original tattoo is only about three months old. I'm so dumb. The original tattoo wasn't bad, but was unfinished and definitely had some flaws. The guy said to let it heal and come back if he needed to touch anything up. So it healed and I wasn't hating it but there were pieces that I didn't love. The design was good, but the execution, not so good. So anyway, I wanted to see about fixing a few spots and adding more on my shoulder eventually. I go back to the place, and they had closed down! In a matter of a week after getting the first tat! Argh! So I thought and thought about it and decided I would go to another (more reputable) shop in my area. He said the only thing he could do was a coverup and if he tried to fix some other guys work, it would look worse. He even told me in the beginning"why don't you get it layered a few times, then cover it" I was like "yea right" I do not want to get into that mess. I said let's just cover it. I had ideas that I liked, but none would work with the design to make the coverup look good.
Finally after a few days, I settled (yep, key word there...settled) on a design three to four times bigger than the original. He said it had to be much bigger to cover the old one well. Stupid me, and my impulsive nature said lets do it! Stupid, stupid, stupid. So I let him throw it on me and go at it. We only had time for the outline, shading and heavy black blobs over the old black. i said i would come back in two weeks for color. i was hopeful color would make it awesome. It's all black with a little blue from the first tat. It's prob 8 x 7 in size and its horrible. The artist is great..he really is but it's not me and its not going to look amazing with color. I hate it. I hate myself so much for doing this. I haven't eaten or slept. I'm depressed more than ever. It's constantly on my mind. I'm usually a happy, goofy and positive person. Not anymore. I usually go to the gym 4 times a week...I haven't even been in weeks. I don't want to hang out with anyone anymore. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I'm hopeful laser removal will work. I went to two consultations. Both doctors seem positive about it. They said because its so new and mainly black, it should be successful. I have to have sessions split in half. So I will go every two weeks for each half. So I will be going essentially with 4 weeks between sessions. This has destroyed my self esteem. My husband just says he wants "me" back. I want me back. Im even having to change my wardrobe because of my stupidity! Anyway, I'm blabbering. So glad I found this community and I'm seeing similar stories.
Lazered. Not layered as mentioned previously!
Lazered. Not layered as mentioned previously!
First session tomorrow! Since my tat is pretty...
First session tomorrow! Since my tat is pretty big, I am just going for half tomorrow and the other half two weeks later. I will be going every four weeks, but from what I read, maybe I should be going every six. I don't know which is best. I'm just listening to what the doctor told me. Anyway, I'm hopeful, very hopeful. I'm just really nervous about the pain, although I usually do well with pain...this place uses the chiller machine for pain control. We'll see how it goes
Just got home from my first treatment for one half...
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22 Feb 2013
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Day of treatment
Just got home from my first treatment for one half of my tat. The actual lasering wasn't too bad. It was somewhat better than I had anticipated. My doctor uses the chiller, and it really helps. I wasn't prepared for my 45 minute drive home though. Holy crap! I had the most intense burning and throbbing for about 20 to 30 minutes. It was like my armed was being torched! It was so bad. It made me a little nauseated for sure. That part was worse than the actual treatment. I really hope this is normal. I'm home now getting ready for a nap. The burning is just minimal and I have a little soreness there, but I can definitely live with it! I'm so happy to have my first half treatment down. I know it's going to be a lengthy process, but I can see some light now that I have gotten the process underway!
Ok, so I know I still need to add pictures. I will...
Ok, so I know I still need to add pictures. I will do it soon. So, yesterday was treatment 1. A few hours after I noticed small blisters all over the area treated...no big deal..this is normal, I didn't freak out. Four hours later, I proceed to change my dressing, and...OH MY GOSH HUGE BLISTERS! I'm talking a half inch to bigger blisters. There were about four of them. Immediately, I cried. I was reversing in my head and going back to thinking why in the hell did I ever decide to get this massive blob of a tattoo! I started freaking that maybe those huge blisters arent normal. It took hours to just calm down, finally I slept. So, today the blisters were still huge all day long. Hopefully they will go down soon. Nothing really hurts though, the whole area is slightly tender, but I went on like I normally and really had no pain. Anyway, the great news is that I have noticed a really nice amount of fading in one area in particular. It looks so different! Seeing that one inch area of significant fading has given me so much hope! This thing might actually be gone in a year. What a roller coaster of emotions. Laser tattoo removal ain't for babies, that's for sure!
One week since treatment one. All blistering has...
One week since treatment one. All blistering has gone down, and now have lots of peeling. I'm feeling so optimistic about how much fading I've already noticed! I feel like it may be too good to be true! Go for first treatment on other half of tattoo March 7th. Will keep updated...
Oh my gosh! Just had first session on second 1/2....
Oh my gosh! Just had first session on second 1/2. It was rough...real rough. This part is on partially on my chest and very close to my armpit. I almost had to make him stop, but I got through it...sweating and clenching. Again, the after burn and throbbing are the worst. It's been almost two hours and its still throbbing some. I have an ice pack on it now. I'm feeling good knowing that my first full treatment is done. Trying to keep a positive outlook!
Yesterday was first treatment on other half. I...
Yesterday was first treatment on other half. I took the bandage off last night, and wow. The owl has faded drastically! Way more than I thought it would. I am so excited about the progress after just one treatment! Trying to not get my hopes up too much though. It's really sore and still very red and swollen today. I have blisters, but none as big as the other half. I will add a pic of the owl part. It seems too good to be true that I had this much fading, but I'm thrilled about it!
Adding new pics. It's been one week since last...
Adding new pics. It's been one week since last treatment. It's still a little red, slightly swollen and peeling. So itchy too. Some lines have already disappeared. Amazing! Next treatment on the 28th. I dread the pain, but its worth it knowing this will be gone.
One thing I've been meaning to add. I forgot! The...
One thing I've been meaning to add. I forgot! The blue isn't doing anything. He zaps it with the laser, but it never blisters or hurts or anything after. The skin remains the same in the blue each time. I'm afraid it may not fade. The Dr said he may need to eventually change the wavelength to treat the blue. Think I'm gonna start having another tattoo removed too that I've not cared for for years (a mistake at 18). Will keep updating!
Going for session two on half of my tat tomorrow....
Going for session two on half of my tat tomorrow. It's been six weeks since first session. I hope to see as good results as I did from my first session. Will post pics! The closer summer is getting, the harder it's getting to deal with my mistake. Oh we'll, it's just one summer!
Sitting here after my session icing my arm! The...
Sitting here after my session icing my arm! The pain wasn't quite as bad this time. Still completely sucked, but not terrible. Hoping to remove this bandage and see more vanishing ink! Gonna chill and watch some tv and love on my family! (My hubby and dog) Will post pics in a few days if there is enough fading!
Day four after treatment 2. Still have it bandaged...
Day four after treatment 2. Still have it bandaged today. There are still quite a few blisters and swelling. I think the doctor tweaked the wavelength a bit this time for the blue. Omg, the itching is almost unbearable this time. It's awful! I haven't noticed near as much fading this time. Will post pics once its healed! Go again on the 25th for another zap! Trying to stay optimistic!
It's been 12 days since last treatment. Still a...
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14 Apr 2013
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2 months post
It's been 12 days since last treatment. Still a little scabby and peeling. Keeping it as moisturized as possible. Feeling very down today about this damn abomination of a tattoo. Even though I've had quite a bit of fading, I realize it may never completely go away. I just beat myself up over making such a quick and dumb decision. I've been doing a lot better lately, but I'm just not the happy person I used to be. I was telling my husband tonight about how I can't even look at myself naked anymore or even feel good enough to be with him. Somehow, I think he thinks I'm less sexy or just ugly now. I hate this so much. He still sees me as the same person, but I don't feel it myself. Ugh...trying to stay positive and realize that life goes on. The hard thing is that every damn piece of clothing I own shows this horrible mess. Think I'm gonna go clear my head and meditate. I need to reflect on all the positive in my life rather than this huge looming negative mistake.
Been a little over two weeks since last treatment....
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18 Apr 2013
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2 months post
Been a little over two weeks since last treatment. Still itchy and a few tiny scabs. Have noticed more fading. So happy about it. I'm starting to think about coverup ideas if I want to go that route. I liked the concept of the original tattoo so much, I may get the same type of thing done again..(by someone really good). Posted a pic of arm part, going for owl section treatment two next Thursday. For some reason the red is hanging in there well...it's from the old tattoo. I thought red was supposed to go quick.
Going tomorrow for another treatment. Getting...
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24 Apr 2013
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2 months post
Going tomorrow for another treatment. Getting nervous already. The chest part (owl) hurts much worse than the arm. :/ Thank goodness it will only last fifteen minutes or so. Got my ice packs ready to put on right after. So glad to get another treatment out of the way...just a bummer I will be wrapped up all weekend. Will post pics soon.
Still healing...very peely and scabby. Today I'm...
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30 Apr 2013
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2 months post
Still healing...very peely and scabby. Today I'm having a pity party for myself. I don't expect sympathy, I just have to get it out. Actually went to the gym today, and saw so many people in their tank tops and clean skin. I have to admit, I'm a little jealous. If I could just go back to that day I made this decision, I think I would do anything. Ugh.... I know I can't, what's done is done. I have to live with it. I could have some debilitating disease or be handicapped. I do realize there are much worse things! That's what keeps me going! Just getting my feelings out. My hubby is tired of hearing it!
Hey...sounds like things are going fairly well with your removal process! I was just wondering what kind of laser they are using for your removal. I just got a tattoo and don't hate it but its just not what I was expecting...my artist talked me into going bigger than I wanted and its incredibly dark. I just got this thing so I don't know if I'm going to remove it or see if it grows on me after its all healed, but there is a possibility I want to get it off. I'm really not enjoying this internal struggle I'm having, so I commend you for picking a road and following it...no matter how painful and blistery it may be.