Belly Be Gone... - Vancouver, WA

I finally called and scheduled MY appointment to...

I finally called and scheduled MY appointment to have my spare tire deflated. I will be getting an extended TT and inner thigh lift. I weighed 305 at my heaviest. I currently weigh 230 and am 5'4". So, needless to say I have lost some of the weight I piled on, but still have some issues with saggy skin and muscle seperation. This has made losing the rest of the weight very hard. I cannot workout the way I would like to, due to my apron and the movement I get from this hanging monster. Then gravity kicks in and kicks my butt more then the actual exercise, sometimes putting me down for two weeks. It is to the point where I get scared to wear headphones while at the gym for fear of the flapping and slapping that could be going on below. I need to know where this monster is and what it is doing at all times. I am excited to see ME without a tummy, but I am very nervous and afraid I will not be prepared for this journey. I am hopeful I am making the correct decision! I will add a pic of myself to show my body type, with more revealing pics to come, after my pre-op appt.

Nervous for my cooch cover...

I have been so nervous lately. This TT is something I have been working towards and the day to lose this bundle of belly is getting closer with each passing moment. Speaking of moments, this last weekend of moments have been filled with random memories. Memories of my cooch cover always being with me. I have to wonder how I am going to feel with this hanging ornament taken away. I start to wonder if the Dr. will take good care of it, like I did for so many years. All the time, money and energy I have invested into my belly for all these years will be nothing but a memory. There will nothing to hide as I tug at my shirt everytime I move more then one inch. There will be nothing there for strangers to judge me by. There will be nothing there to stop me from enjoying life!....This is why I am nervous for my cooch cover...There is no where left to hide, not under my oversized shirt, not tucked into my pants, not even laying down will save this monsterous bulge from being removed and taken to its new life without me.
As far back as I remember I have always had a floppy belly that hangs and had to be hid, because we all know how disgusting and embarassing big fat bellys can be. Some of these memories include giving birth to my children, going on family vacations, and everyday activities. The best memory would be marrying my best friend and him accepting me for who I am. He has always loved me and my body.

So, this gets me thinking about my body and how he will see me after the TT. I hope he will still be attracted to me the way he is now - seeing as he likes chubby bodies and loves my stomach. I have recently asked him how he can find my huge belly attractive and he simply put because it is you. I love you for you and this was a package deal. As he mentions the package deal he is fondling my belly, saying he has to get his last month's worth of grabbing in before it is gone. He also proceeded to tell me that he never thought I could get any hotter then the day he met me and that I have proved him wrong everyday, when I wake up I am even more beautiful then the day before. Have I mentioned I have a hubby that totally adores me the way I adore him. He also reminds me that he has lost over 130 pounds himself and I have not treated him any different or found him less attractive. This is true! I adore him for him and this is why I married him. He has been my glue, and even more so since I have scheduled my TT. He reminds me that all this 'thinking' is just nervous thoughts and that I will be stronger for us and our children. I have to also remember that this TT wont be nearly as lonely or challenging as my c-sections were, due to the kiddos being teens now and able to help me and keep me company during my sit and be still times. I guess I am just nervous and this is normal!

Good-Bye Cooch Cover, I will strive without you!!

a little lighter...

I feel a little lighter this afternoon. It is mostly due to paying the surgeon today...wow it's really happening. Money is transferred, pre op tomorrow, date is set!!
I am a full blown nut case right now, my nerves are getting the best of me. I suppose that's normal when life changing events are ahead. I took a pic of my butt in the front and this reassured me that I am doing this for me and my health...New body in 23...22...21 days...let the countdown begin!

13 days...and my security 'blanket' will be gone!

So the two week mark is over and it is just a matter of days before I make my trip to Vancouver for my TT. It will be a 3.5 hour drive and I am not looking forward to the drive home...I am open to any suggestions anyone might have that will make this a easier trip home????...I have come to realize - I dont think the TT is making me as nervous as the thigh lift...I keep asking myself if I really need that done. When I look in the mirror and hold my tummy up and in I can see where this can make major improvements. Then I look a little further down and what do I see?..a thigh-gina!! So, yes I really do need this and without this I feel that my body will look funny and misproportioned. I have been working out and focusing on my legs and arms so that I have a better chance for a easier and faster recovery...I have done tons of research on TT but am having some trouble finding info on thighplasty and the post op scars. My hubby says he will support any desicion I make but feels I made the right one...and he would know because he has been the one I have bombarded with all of my concerns, pics of what I want to look like and reality of the scars I will have. Maybe just a little nervous still, but mostly excited...I want to feel good about my choice and like I mentioned earlier with my tummy gone the thighs will look hideous..I will post pics soon, I am having hubby take some before pics tonight, and he is doing this willingly...I promise I will be brave enough to post the bare, nude, true pics of my tummy and thighs...I have been scared to show my monster, but I think this will help free me of my security blanket issues I am having with this long time enemy!!

Time is ticking.....

So next week this time I will be laying in my recovery bed, giggling with my husband. He always makes me happy and giggly so I'm guessing this trip will not disappoint! The monster around my middle is shaking and scared. I think it knows it's time it's coming! It is a big deal for me right now, but maybe I'm just a little crazy. I have grown to love/hate, live with and deal with this belly of mine. I have been told for so long that I need to embrace my body and be proud of it. So that is what I've done, ALL my life! I am excited to get a new look, only to make me wonder how people will look at me after this cutting fest is done. I cried for awhile yesterday...I guess the main underlying issue I am having is an identity crisis...I have been far, big, obese my whole life, so I guess I'm just nervous about the changes that are so close now. I hope people still see me for me and I hope I still see me for me...I know this is just a fear, but it's a legitimate one! This is a big deal. A big dream becoming reality soon!! Huge changes are on their way for sure_ physically and mentally! I took a sitting position pic to post today. I still have not had my photo shoot, that will be this weekend. I have been too busy with all the holiday stuff, since I will be down at that time! Plus making sure I have everything I might need for comfort, for after the surgery. So here is the monster, I cannot wait to see the after pic..

Time has changed...

Just got a call about tomorrow for confirmation...my time has changed...it was check in at 1, surgery at 2...it is now 11 with surgery at 12...this makes me happy in the sense that I can be done with the no eating or drinking all day!!...my excitement just went up a trillion points. I'm going to post a few pics of my monster I took the other day...this monster has limited hours, 23 to be exact!! Less then a full day left of its life!...I have been caressing it and looking at it and squeezing it...yep it is time for it to go away! I am fully and completely ready for this butt in the front to disappear into the abyss forever...this belly is my old life! I cannot wait to start my new life with my new look and new attitude in life! I was expressing my identity issues I was having with my hubby last night and this is the response I received "maybe when the dr is done finding and releasing your new identity maybe he can suck a few pounds of cobwebs from between your ears"...I have not stopped laughing...he is my strength and best friend!!! I couldn't do this without him....ok enough rambling, I have bags to pack!!

90 miles to go...

Up and ready this morning...90 miles away from the office..very excited! I will keep you posted...hope everyone has a great day :-)

Done, done, and done...

I'm lying here thinking about how good I actually feel...I can't move around but I'm happy to keep things down, as I was having problems keeping my pills down...after as nice vicodene cocktail and nap, I'm feeling way better! Don't hurt to much, as long as I stay still...can't take pics right notes but I will upload some tomorrow, hopefully everything looks great!!

well well well what do we have here...

Well well well what do we have here? Not much anymore!..yeah, so excited about how I look, I'm really swollen but drinking lots of water should cure most of that over the week...the thing that killed me most was being on a liquid diet the day before and then having to drink full bottle of castor oil that night...wow I was so sick, but Dr says I'm nice and flat now because of it...guess that's where no pain no gain comes in...I'm supposed to drink 4 or 5 protein shakes for two days after, then I can start to introduce solid food slowly...sorry about the errors but I am doing this via phone right now...hope you find the pics helpful...noticed the dr put two big Xs on my boobies?.. that was for my hubby, to let him know he wasn't touching those! ..I just took my meds so I'm off the lala land now...zzzzzzzz

The ride home...

So the ride home is 3.5 hours long...we left pretty early around 9am...I was all drained and medicated up for the ride...this helped but it was very long!...glad I left catheter in...nurse urged me to keep it in until I arrived home...I wanted this thing out so bad but I'm so happy I listened! It snowed quite a bit the last few days and I could not even imagine having to get out of the car to go pee...I would have slipped for sure! Gretchen is the best nurse ever!...I still cannot wait to see what I look like standing in front of the mirror, but this is way to early...hopefully in the next few days!! I will only dream about it for now...I'll chat a little later! I would also like to thank all the ladies and supporters that have been encouraging me over the last month , or so..thank you sweetie pies!!! :-) I only hope to keep you updated as well as I would like!

At Home and Happy...

So this is my third day post op...catheter is out, thank goodness, I took that bad boy out this morning. I do have four drains, two on each side, too deal with...but I just pin them to my binder and be done with them...I've been draining them twice daily and looks like I'm putting out normal amounts of fluid...the fluid has changed from bright red to a light red, which makes me happy...two drains are Pretty high, 25/30cc, but that's alright, I want to get all that junk out before the tubes come out. I'm still on my protein shakes, yogurt and cereal bars, which are high in protein, and I'm feeling better then I thought I would at this point. I can't forget to mention I've been drinking my water also, about 15 /16.9 oz bottles a day...if not more...I get scared going to the bathroom, I have a riser on the toilet which helps 100 percent and the walker is a blessing for this as well, but I'm scared I will damage a suture. I'm so glad I focused on my legs and arms at the gym before the surgery...I'm using all arm the last few days. Hubby went out to eat with his bf and is bringing me back an all white omelet, yummmmm, can't wait! Real food!?! I hope this doesn't hurt me but I'm sure I'm just nervous about eating. I feel pretty swollen and have had the most gas I have ever had in my life, I know tmi, but I have to share with someone!:-) lucky you!...I asked hubby if I can do my dressings tonight and refresh myself with his assistance and he agreed, he is my rock!! I would like to take pics, but last time we tried I was too distressed and couldn't do it. My anxiety kicked in and I just wanted the binder back on...hopefully today will be better...as for my thighs, they hurt but not as bad as I thought they would! I heard that was the worst to do but it doesn't seem to painful at this point...I have to keep those staples covered until my post op on Friday the 13th...no peeky or showers until my drains come out, ugggg..I hope I can see my legs and get the drains out that day...oh I wanted to say that I am a pretty strong person when it comes to this stuff but I almost past out when I saw my legs on Friday before she wrapped them...I've never done that before, but I was very light headed and sweaty...I think Friday will be better!

Changing the Dressing...

So I asked my hubby to help me change and refresh yesterday...I'm glad we left that untll the end of the day. This was the most time consuming thing I have done since surgery. I also read how some women get light headed during the clean up process, mostly due to the binder being off...I am no exception! As soon as I took the binder off I was ready to pass out, I was seeing colored shouts, my ears rang so loud I couldn't hear my hubby talking to me and I started tho face out...i lied on the bed and got my bearings for a good 10 minutes...good thing I had made sure all my dressing were taped together and ready to go on so I could get put back together quickly...I scared my hubby! I scared myself!!...I did managed to.hey some pics of me but nothing to brilliant...I have to keep my duties covered until Friday so...I can't even see what everything looks like...I'm so curious...I'll post what I have...now be gentle and remember I'm only 4 days post, really swollen and haven't poo pooed as of last night...again tmi but I'm just trying to be honest...I cannot stand straight, or any where near half straight...my back feels broken at my hips but I know I'll get great results with my humpback style I have acquired...ok enough rambling...I hope everyone , is having a great day so far..Happy Healing!!

4 days post op...

Me Belly Button...

I think my bb is so cute now...my old one was all chopped up and scarred...this one will look great! I had my daughter help me tonight as my hubby was way too woozy from last night's experience...she almost passed out when she saw the bandage come off...guess she didn't expect to see such greatness! I was smart and stayed sitting down tonight, didn't get to light headed when binder came off, that's a good thing! Got the cute lil button all cleaned and covered, now I'm ready to start a new day, this day has been a good one but pretty rough in the sense of soreness and swelling...I'm so scared to eat due to swelling out of my skin, but I'm careful and have lots of protein...

Today is our first anniversary....

When I set the appt I knew I'd need up our anniversary and had discussed this with hubby before making the decision on the date...hubby said get the first appt and let's get this over with...so glad he knows me and how unhappy I was in my old body! I'm sad that we can't celebrate and enjoy our day in a normal fashion but I'm looking forward to our night tonight!...hubby said he has something good in the making...i am excited to see what he it's doing...i can't watch a movie due to my head nodding off...funny thing about that is I'm still listening to the tube but I'm sleeping!...that's what I call multitasking!...on to a more serious note, I've been pooping like a crazy woman since 2 am...wow, I haven't really ate anything but after all that, I'm feeling wayyyyy better..the stool softners were not working and I was so bloated so I made a pot of coffee and drank 1/2 cup of black coffee and I was great in 15 minutes...i was worried but the caffeine didn't seem to bother me cuz I napped from 3 am/ 615am....yeahhhhh....i also noticed my legs are really sore today, sore to the touch. I believe it's the Lipo areas and compression hoses I've been wearing...my daughter removed my hoses, washed my legs and lotioned them up before putting new clean hose on...oh it's heaven, and she is my Angel...I wish I could sleep longer then a few hours at a time, but I'm sure I will adjust to my normal schedule as I heal and get myself off the meds next week...just kinda sucks cuz I'm ready to socialize when everyone else is ready for bed, or they sit with me and I'm dozing off...can't win this game so I'll just ride it out!...I've been on social networks alot because the odd hours don't matter on the web....just trying to keep my mind busy and my body calm...one thing I have been doing is listening to my body! I didn't do this with my hysterectomy and my recovery sucked, not this time!

Better everyday...

I'm getting better and stronger everyday...I couldn't sleep last night so I gave myself the longest, best sponge bath ever...i washed, repacked, and lotioned for the hours...my back has been hurting the last few days, but today seems to be minimal, I've even stopped walking with the walker...I can't go as far without it, but I don't want to become dependent on it carrying my weight when walking...I am really top heavy now...I thought I was before, but without my belly it is really apparent. My boob shelf is gone!! My hubby keeps saying, wow your all boobs. I like hearing that! Today is the first day I actually got dressed and out of my moomoo nightgowns. Even got my granny panties on to control the placement of the bulbs...Feels good and almost normal...I'm really hating the drains but I have to have them sooooo, I will baby them until they are gone. I think I'm going to have them for another week because I'm getting little output but enough for them to stay...i made sure to repack the hoses where they come out because they are really itchy and sensitive...My stomach is getting some feeling around the sides and I can feel the hoses pull if I move certain ways...I'm so curious to see my full body without all the bandages, but I know good things come to those who wait...I've also been watching what I eat so I don't slip into Swell Hell. I'm swollen enough, I don't need to add to it if I can help it! My belly is pretty swollen and round. I hope the roundness dissipates with time, which I'm sure it will...I see my hips showing thru but I think they look a little funny with my "prego" look...as I told the dr, I didn't want to lose my curves, I just wanted to get to a point where things wouldn't be so hard to upkee my weight and look I wanted...I wanted to go from bbw to voluptuous, from fat to chubby...hubby says Dr nailed it...hoping I'll feel same after I get to really look at myself in a month or so in the flesh without all the bundled up huha hanging from me...I also think once I can stand straight I'll love it! I'm posting pics, but not much different from last ones...

Genius hubby...

My hubby knew how much trouble the safety pins holding my drains have been since the beginning of this recovery process...I'm scared they will come undone and stab me (tummy is numb), or drain bulb...they were always coming undone and drains were stressing at the entry point at times and I was getting scared they would tip.over and soil out, ewwwwww....hubby remembered the clips I used to put on the kids mittens and attached to their coats...he went to target and found them in the dollar bin and brought them to me at lunch...what a great idea!...not only is he handsome , he is smart!!...then he asked me if I wanted another set to keep my fishnets up, since they roll down sometimes...what a wonderful hubby!...I like how he whispers in my ear "i can't wait to get a hold of my hot wife's new bod"...and I was worried :-)

mitten clips...

These can be found in children section...found these bad boy at target...they are the for the use of clipping mittens to coats so the kids don't lose them...I organize my drains and clip them on my binder differently depending on which binder I'm using...here are a few examples..

From BBW to Voluptuous...

So it's 8 days out and I had my Dr appt this afternoon...Dr came in undressed my belly and was very impressed with my sutures..he said it looked very good for this amount of time and removed my staples...he had nurse undress my legs and take out my staples, every other one, nurse got carried away and removed them all in my right leg but left leg has some still. Dr left the staples in my groin area due to this being a tender and high pulling area...I'm so glad he did this cuz I really don't want to pull anything open...still have my drains, boo! My drainage is very minimum so I'm hoping I'll get them out next week...my next apt is Dec 27 and they should come out then for sure...I think next week looks good! I've been drinking lots of water a day, doing my walking without over doing it, and staying on top of my meds...my drainage has been less then 20 cc a day per drain for two days now.his rules are they need to be less then 20 cc per drain per drain for the days AFTER the 10th day out...I got the drainage down but now I need to wait until the days go by...I'm thinking next Wed!!! I will see, a girl can dream right! My legs hurt tonight they look good but I can't get used to what they look like with the sutures going down my inner thighs..my tummy is still very numb so that helps with the staples removal, the lipo on my thighs is on burn mode as well tonight...I'm very happy with the way I look and I think Dr got it right with me! Dr reminded me several times how I need to eat clean, walk, drink lots of water, and the swelling will get better and go away! All my parts will blend in better as my shape comes in, I was worried about my hips sticking out, I need to remember that the cg will make me look kinda funny... I'll post some pics from today!

Buddha Belly...

Today is day 11 post!...I'm doing it!...it's not easy all the time but it is getting easier with time...I'm getting adjusted to my new body and how I look...I think I'm liking how I look more and more everyday! I look down and I'm so swollen, I just keep looking at my belly and it swollen and hard and looks like a Buddha Belly...I'm sure this will go away once the drains come out and I start to stabilize...I.can't wait to start walking again and hitting the gym every morning...I know it will go down tremendously at that point!...I will post some pics of what I'm seeing...

Day 11 pics

I'm not sure why my other pics were not uploaded, so I will post them again

Today is Friday...

I made it thru this week...it was a roller coaster! Monday I took it easy and was very sore...Tuesday was better but I started getting restless...Wednesday I had a couple visitors, my sister and my bff! I enjoyed their company and realized how much I missed being in the real world! My sister brought me a care package, it was wonderful, foot soak, cleansers, lotions, makeup...all kinds of stuff that a girl enjoys! Thursday I was walking and noticed some of my staples were poking out of my left thigh, they were irritating my skin, so I used tweezers and pulled them out...they bleed a few drops but nothing bad, didn't hurt to much.
So today is Friday! I hate my drains! I can't stand looking at myself cuz I can't look past the horrid bundle of drains and tubes I haves hanging off my belly. I noticed for three days, the drains have been putting out less then 5cc per drain, I still have all four. I was very excited to call the dr and get them out today. This was my assumption! Nurse said I should have called earlier this week and I won't be able to get them out until Monday due to the snow storm we are having in that area...my panic just set in! I go back to work on Monday and can't stand the thought of packing these things around all weekend if I don't need them! I became desperate and started to have an anxiety attack, that's when I had a brilliant idea...

I got on my phone and went to YouTube...I watched as few videos on drain removal, then I watched as few more...I collected the items I would need like gauze, sterile tweezers and scissors, neosporin and courage! I grabbed a few sterile bed pads and headed to the bathroom...as i sat there on my throne of desperation I looked down at these horrible invasive creatures coming out of me I grabbed drain 2...lucky trial tube, I snipped the stitching and took in two deep breaths...while I exhaled the second time I pulled the tube and it snaked its way out of me..that was not bad at all! 5 minutes later four tubes were on the towel and looking at me from the outside. I couldn't wait to throw that whole towel away! So that's done and I'm feeling great! I feel the nurse is going to freak out but I couldn't stand them any longer...I'm all bandaged up and I feel more like myself then I have the last 15 days! I am super excited to get to the next phase of recovery...like taking a shower! Oh how I miss the shower, the fights over who gets the shower, even cold showers cuz I'm last to get in! I will take pics soon of my incisions and post them, they look awesome.

I have to admit that Wednesday I woke up very depressed and regretted everything I had done, I felt guilty for spending that much money on myself to feel this bad! I read about the emotion roller coaster and thought I was strong enough to not let my feelings get to me...I was wrong, those dang emotions snuck up on me and hit me hard. I was crying and mad and felt I was falling apart from the inside out! I read thru my papers and articles I had printed off and those made me feel half normal again..at least they reminded me I was going thru normal thoughts and emotions. After the visits I had, I felt way better about myself and choice of a tt.

Well I'm going to wrap presents and enjoy my tube free evening!

One more thing...

Dr said he took off 13 pounds...I sure can notice how's wonderful it feels to walk without my bouncing belly against my legs...what a world of difference! I love how I'm looking!!

Taking it easy and waiting....

I have been feeling great...a little better everyday! I'm waiting to get back to my normal life but I know it will be here soon enough... I went back to work last week and with Christmas and parties and everything else with normal life, I'm pooped! I have been taking it easy and sneaking naps in when I can...even just laying down with my feet elevated for 30 mins helps...I took.some pics this morning, I will post them! I'm still pretty swollen but am really happy with how I look! My thighs are healing nice and my tt scar is looking really good and almost sealed completely...I'm so impressed with how much the Dr took off...3 inches of skin on both my thighs and 13 pounds of apron...I'm very impressed with how much lap I have now, my legs look longer...my beast used to fill up half my thigh! Now I have a full thigh and I can even see my vjay...I can't wait to walk straight, start working out, and wearing my heels...but I'm headed there!

New app

1 month down...

Couple more weeks and I think I'll be back to normal...or at least back to better then normal...Im excited to see and feel my new muscles when I work out! Wore my heels to a wedding tonight and did well! I miss wearing heels and dressing girly, I'm almost back to that...I swell up pretty good by start of evening, almost every night...I've been back to work for two weeks now and I wore my binder the first week and a compression tank top the second week..as soon as I get home I slap my binder on and wear it from about 5 pm till I wake up in morning...then I like to wear it while I'm getting ready and moving around alot...everyday seems to be better then the last...my thighs are healing well and are almost all sealed...the top of my thighs were I had Lipo are still sensitive, as well as my knees but other then that they are looking really nice...I need to call the Dr. to find out when I can swim and hot tub...I'm going to add some before and after pics

one month difference...

Loving my new bod

I haven't posted anything in awhile due to being ABLE to get out and do some fun summer stuff. I love being able to get out and not hurt after. I feel so free and young again. I will post a few pics of me during the past few months. I have read the comments below and I am so excited that my story has helped others in their own quest. I promised myself that if I can do anything with this experience, it was to document it. Document it all, no matter how embarrassing the pics or review. I had trouble finding information and stories that related to me. I wanted to help others and help them work out the process as I wish I could have found. I have met some really spectacular ladies on here. Not to mention the great support they showed to me! I hope I put this TT and thighplasty process into perspective. Just remember the recovery time is HELL but it is only a few weeks and will seem like a great trade off once things have healed properly!! I will try to update more often from now on! Cheers my friends!
Portland Plastic Surgeon

Dr. Workman and his staff has made this a very pleasurable experience. They are all very nice and personable. They answered all my questions and made me feel comfortable with my decision to have a TT. I look forward to bragging about my new tummy!!

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