Belly Be Gone... - Vancouver, WA

I finally called and scheduled MY appointment to have my spare tire deflated. I will be getting an extended TT and inner thigh lift. I weighed 305 at my heaviest. I currently weigh 230 and am 5'4". So, needless to say I have lost some of the weight I piled on, but still have some issues with saggy skin and muscle seperation. This has made losing the rest of the weight very hard. I cannot workout the way I would like to, due to my apron and the movement I get from this hanging monster. Then gravity kicks in and kicks my butt more then the actual exercise, sometimes putting me down for two weeks. It is to the point where I get scared to wear headphones while at the gym for fear of the flapping and slapping that could be going on below. I need to know where this monster is and what it is doing at all times. I am excited to see ME without a tummy, but I am very nervous and afraid I will not be prepared for this journey. I am hopeful I am making the correct decision! I will add a pic of myself to show my body type, with more revealing pics to come, after my pre-op appt.

I have been so nervous lately. This TT is something I have been working towards and the day to lose this bundle of belly is getting closer with each passing moment. Speaking of moments, this last weekend of moments have been filled with random memories. Memories of my cooch cover always being with me. I have to wonder how I am going to feel with this hanging ornament taken away. I start to wonder if the Dr. will take good care of it, like I did for so many years. All the time, money and energy I have invested into my belly for all these years will be nothing but a memory. There will nothing to hide as I tug at my shirt everytime I move more then one inch. There will be nothing there for strangers to judge me by. There will be nothing there to stop me from enjoying life!....This is why I am nervous for my cooch cover...There is no where left to hide, not under my oversized shirt, not tucked into my pants, not even laying down will save this monsterous bulge from being removed and taken to its new life without me.
As far back as I remember I have always had a floppy belly that hangs and had to be hid, because we all know how disgusting and embarassing big fat bellys can be. Some of these memories include giving birth to my children, going on family vacations, and everyday activities. The best memory would be marrying my best friend and him accepting me for who I am. He has always loved me and my body.

So, this gets me thinking about my body and how he will see me after the TT. I hope he will still be attracted to me the way he is now - seeing as he likes chubby bodies and loves my stomach. I have recently asked him how he can find my huge belly attractive and he simply put because it is you. I love you for you and this was a package deal. As he mentions the package deal he is fondling my belly, saying he has to get his last month's worth of grabbing in before it is gone. He also proceeded to tell me that he never thought I could get any hotter then the day he met me and that I have proved him wrong everyday, when I wake up I am even more beautiful then the day before. Have I mentioned I have a hubby that totally adores me the way I adore him. He also reminds me that he has lost over 130 pounds himself and I have not treated him any different or found him less attractive. This is true! I adore him for him and this is why I married him. He has been my glue, and even more so since I have scheduled my TT. He reminds me that all this 'thinking' is just nervous thoughts and that I will be stronger for us and our children. I have to also remember that this TT wont be nearly as lonely or challenging as my c-sections were, due to the kiddos being teens now and able to help me and keep me company during my sit and be still times. I guess I am just nervous and this is normal!

Good-Bye Cooch Cover, I will strive without you!!

I feel a little lighter this afternoon. It is mostly due to paying the surgeon today...wow it's really happening. Money is transferred, pre op tomorrow, date is set!!
I am a full blown nut case right now, my nerves are getting the best of me. I suppose that's normal when life changing events are ahead. I took a pic of my butt in the front and this reassured me that I am doing this for me and my health...New body in 23...22...21 days...let the countdown begin!