I Can't Wait to Get Rid of These Water Balloons Under my Skin - Utah, UT

I am 43, 5'7", 120 lbs. After having four children...

I am 43, 5'7", 120 lbs. After having four children and breast feeding I was a 32A. For many years I was ok with my small boobies, but after a divorce, negative feedback from boyfriends and even rude comments from "friends" I decided to get implants when I was 30. I had 400cc saline implants under the muscle. I went from a 32A to a 32D. My husband loves them, I have never liked them. I always thought they looked fake, but would wear clothing that shows them off as my husband seems to enjoy it when my boobs are the focus of attention. He says he will be fine with me going back to smaller boobs, I guess only time will tell. I know he loves me and I love him. I accept him balding, having grey hair and a gut, so he can accept my real boobies. :) We started dating before I had implants. We have been together for over 14 years.

After seeing two PS, they both suggested deflation prior to explant. The reason why is time for the skin to contract and hopefully avoid a breast lift. My boobies will be so small, 32A I am sure, that I don't understand the need for a lift. What's there to lift? But, I understand that after 13 years of being 32D, there will be sagging and concave, dents going on. I weigh almost the same as when I had the implants so i doubt highly my real boobies have grown. Any weight I gain goes to my straight to my butt. Baby got back!

I am afraid of looking like a deformed circus freak. I am fine with little boobs again, but not sagging and nipples pointing to the floor. I hope for the best and will keep this updated in order to help women out there like me. I've had a hard time finding photos of going from a 32D back to a 32A without a breast lift. Most women seem to replace their implants and/or get a lift. I don't want scars on my little boobs. I'm hoping to not need a lift. I will post photos after deflation and then after explant. Anything I can do to help ladies like me out there considering explant.

I feel humiliated and embarrased that I did this to myself. I want all this to be over.

My final thought is this, ladies, love your real body. Don't let anybodys negative opinion or rude comments make you get implants. I found that men giving me attention for my fake boobs, made me feel more insecure. They were staring at me for something that wasn't even me! Over the last 13 years I have grown to love myself. I am a Nana with two adorable grandbabies, I have a successful business, I don't need big fake boobs to be confident.

The deflation is complete. I am afraid to look at...

The deflation is complete. I am afraid to look at myself in the mirror, but feel good about getting back to the real me! It looks really strange as the deflated implants are still in there. It looks like and feels like a hard flat shell in my skin. I look awful. :( I'm glad my husband is gone on work for two weeks because I don't want him to see me like this. I doubt my actual breast tissue is even 32A. The right one hurts where the gave me the local anethestic to put the drains in to deflate. I made a mistake and lifted my right arm over my head when I got home. PS told me no lifting anything, no arms over the head. I hope I didn't screw something up. I'm taking tylenol, refused narcotic painkillers as they

I'm too sad and embarrased to post photos today. Hopefully I can bring myself to take a photo of my deformed flat self in the next few days to let all you girls know how it looks going from 32D to 32A. I scheduled my explant and capsulectomy for January 16. The PS said that amount of time should be enough for my skin to contract to see if I want a lift. Lift what?

Day five after deflation of my implants. My right...

Day five after deflation of my implants. My right boob is still sore. I can see bruising where they stuck the needle in for deflation. This one also hurt more than the left did during deflation. I can't see any bruising on the left one. I can't wear anything but a sports bra as the deflated implants make it very uncomfortable. The sports bras arent comfortable either as the elastic hits right on the bruise on the right side. :( I don't think I will need a lift. None of my friends can believe I got rid of my big boobs.

I am fine with the actual boobies. They are small but seem to look a little larger today , (still 32A :) than they did the day of deflation. I will try to take a photo tomorrow and post it. I keep forgetting to take the camera in my bedroom so I can take one. Family all over the house, so the question is , Mom why are you taking the camera in your room?

My husband is still out of town. I don't think I will be ok to let him see me with these weird implants sticking up in my skin. It is very unattractive. He says he will love me anyway, but he is a big part of the reason I got implants, so I am nervous. He will be back next week.

Day seven since deflation of implants. Tried to...

Day seven since deflation of implants. Tried to take a photo today, but didn't want to wake up my grandbaby from her nap. I realized the camera battery was dead and all my camera gear is in the nursery closet. I went to the emergency room Friday night. My right breast is tender sore and larger than the left. My PS said I am overusing the right side and to rest. He thinks I've irritated the muscle. He saw no signs of infection. My right breast has gotten a little larger since then. I'm trying to do as little as possible with the right side, but I work on the computer all day and am tending my nine month old grandbaby all day. She and my daughter live with me. My husband is still out of town and I have no friends who could assist. I have a 100 lb golden retriever who needs walked, a house to keep clean, an internet business to run and dinner to make for my family in addition to watching my precious beautiful grandchild, Elleah. Do nothing......yeah...right.

I go to the PS tomorrow. I'm worried. I know something is wrong with the right side. It must be some sort of fluid build up. But, I'm not running a fever so I'm guessing no infection. I just hope the right one doesn't get any larger. Now I look even freakier, deflated shells and one boob bigger than the other. This totally sucks.

It is two days until my surgery to have the...

It is two days until my surgery to have the deflated implants removed. I am very nervous. So many warnings prior to surgery! No flax seed, no garlic, no detox tea, ten days before surgery and after. These are all part of my normal diet, so this has been hard for me. Then, the ps told me I will need drains put in and will probably have to keep them in for a week, measure the amount of fluid three times a day. Yuck!!! But, I want these things out of me. I've been dealing with deflated strange looking breasts for six weeks now.

My husband is not doing well with the change. Let's just say he is less than happy about this. No intimate moments if you know what I mean. His words say he is fine with the new me, but his nonverbal does all the talking for him. He is not attracted to the flat chested me. But, oh well, all I can do is hope things improve after I at least look like a normal female again. I look like a deformed freak at the moment. But, I am happy with my small boobies. :)

I finally had time to take a photo. The weird shape on them is the delflated implant. It is very uncomfortable. I will also take some after surgery when I am able.

Please any woman out there considering implants, DON'T DO IT!!! This is hell dealing with deflated implants inside of me and know having to deal with surgery again and then one month of recovery. THe PS said I can do nothing for two weeks. No driving, no watching my grandbaby ( because I will pick her up, all 20 lbs of cuteness :D ), no cleaning, nothing. He is afraid I will pop stitches and end up back in surgery.

On the emotional side, seeing my husbands negative reaction is hard to deal with. He is why I got implants 13 years ago. We will see what happens with our relationship. I know he loves me and I love him, but being rejected in the bedroom for no longer having big fake boobs is hard to deal with. I want to be loved and wanted for the real me. :(

Day 11 after explant. This has been much harder...

Day 11 after explant. This has been much harder than I anticipated. I had drains in for three days, that was horrible. I could not move without alot of pain. I was thrilled when he took them out although it hurt. The pain killers made me dizzy and nauseous, I stopped taking them on day five. Then on day seven I did to much. Right side started swelling and I had to take pain killers again to sleep that night. Awful!!!!! I'm still sleeping in the recliner. Totally sucks!!!!!!! On day nine, my half awake body decided it would strech out my left arm, bad idea. Now the left one hurts, but it is tolerable. I now sleep with my arms inside a sweat shirt so no more accidents.

I am a very active independent person so bed rest, not doing much is very difficult for me. I usually power walk /jog three to four miles a day with my dog. I am also self employed so I've had to deal with work issues. My husband is very tired of taking care of me. We aren't getting along well. He is leaving for work tomorrow. He says he is ok with how they look, but his nonverbal says otherwise. He is stressing me out which does not help my recovery.

I am fine with how they look, but do hope for some "fluffing" that I've heard about on realself. The left one looks sad and has a dent, which doesn't surprise me as that implant shifted along time ago. It never sat the same as the right. I hope for improvement in a few weeks. The right one is still swollen from overdoing it on day seven. I'm using ice packs and trying to do nothing. On that note, I will stop typing now.


Feeling depressed today. As much as I say I'm...

Feeling depressed today. As much as I say I'm thrilled with my 32A's, it is difficult seeing myself in clothes. Valentines Day is soon and I am unable to wear anything sexy for my husband. I saw my PS yesterday for two week appt. He said I am doing well, but cautioned me, no house cleaning, no laundry, no walking my golden retriever (he weighs 110 lbs). I still need to be careful and take it easy for another two weeks before he allows me to go back to a normal routine.

My two daughters are 17 and 23. My beautiful girls are endowed naturally more than I ever was. They both wear padded push up bras everyday and sometimes it is hard for me to see it when they wear lowcut revealing shirts. It makes me sad to know I will never be able to look like that again. I am happy that my daughters are all natural! They weigh more than I do, but lucky girls on them the weight goes to all the right places. :) I am 5'7" and weigh 115. I've always been a very skinny girl. I'm hoping after a month when my poor 32As fluff a little and I can wear a padded push up bra that I will feel happier with how I look.

I will try to stay positive. Recovery is going well, I have my health and a wonderful family. Who cares if I have the chest of a 13 year old girl? Love and hugs to all you ladies out there in recovery. Thank you all for your support. This board has meant the world to me in my explant journey.

New photos! It has been two months since surgery....

New photos! It has been two months since surgery. Im fine with my real boobs. I rocked a bikini in cabo san lucas, mexico last week. It was nice not having fake big boobs falling out of the tops. I hope the dent in the left one goes away but only time will tell. Any other ladies have dents? My husband says hes ok with them, but he never touches them and i caught him giving them a disgusted look one day. He noticed the dent in my left boob. Oh well. I keep hoping things will improve with him. 14 years together. He was staring at a girl on the beach with large boobs when we were in mexico. I said nothing but of course it hurt my feelings.
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I am sorry about your husband. I had mine out and I am small now - I like being flat but lots of people love big boobs and love to tell me about it :). It's been a journey to maintain my self esteem. I like your new look and it sounds like you do too. I have found myself putting on a slightly padded underwire when I go out so that I don't look sooooo different. Anyway, part of the journey I guess :) good luck to you
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Wow... this is such an amazing story and journey! You look so much better, and much more comfortable. At least on the outside *hugs*. I don't know the details of the situation between your daughter and husband, but for a second I had the same idea! You deserve so much better. I would look at his gunshot wounds/scars with disgust while serving divorce papers... but that's just me, only you can live your life.
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About a year and half since removal now. There are days I'm unhappy with my breasts. It's not the small part that bugs me, but the sagging part. I have lost weight due to some very difficult family issues, down to 115 lbs, want to be 120 lbs. My 24 year old daughter is going to prison for the next 20 years for trying to kill my husband after I got custody of my granddaughter. I am now raising my 2 year old granddaughter and two week old grandson. I love them dearly , but this is alot harder than I thought. My husband survived three gunshot wound after a month in the hospital, I had to testify if court against my own baby girl. It was and is heartbreaking. Where did I go so wrong as a Mom that she made such bad choices. Prostitution and meth use while pregnant with my grandson, etc, etc. Anyway, my husband has made it quite clear he doesn't like my small breasts and hardly ever touches them when we have sex. It makes me feel unattractive, but I know I am a beautiful sexy woman regardless of his preference for big boobs. My goal now is to give my grandchildren the best life possible, I'm still happy with my choice to get rid of the water balloons, but it does make me sad that the man I am with obviously doesn't like the view of what I have to offer now.
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OMG I'm so sorry you are going through all of that :( how awful. Definitely focus on the grandchildren and be the wonderful person that you are. In the grand scheme of things, boobs don't matter at all. Wishing you lots of love and light
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I am so sorry to hear all the things you have been going through...heartbreaking to say the least. Like gliese posted, boobs do not matter in the grand scheme of things, hope your hubby comes to realize that, and how lucky he is. Keep your head held high, your grandbabies need you, and you matter to them more than anything!! {{Huggzz}}
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Personally, the days of big inflated rock hard boobs are over. Honestly, the men who go after that sort of thing are superficial really. I am being explanted in a week, my husband could care less and only wants to be here for me. Like you , I am fit, attractive, 5'8" 114 pounds, and I am 56 years old, and though my boobies are not as big as yours were, they are going to be small when I am done with this. I have ridden the emotional roller coaster for sure, but I too want my health back! I have to say, with all that is going on in your life , you are a freaking ROCK STAR woman! And your boobies look great, they look WAY better than before. You will see as you are furhter down the road ....look you are going through what all of us are going through, our boobs have been a part of our life. I have had mine for 27 years, and hellzzzzzzzzz ya, there are going to be some changes that I may not be able to accept overnight, but I do have family and friends and such as a GIANT SUPPORT SYSTEM! It's hip t loose the implants ladies.......it is a thing of the past now! So keep up your great attitude skinnymarie, you are SPECIAL and leading the way! WE ALL LOVE THE WOMAN YOU ARE!!!!!!!!
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Thank you so much. You are 100% right. Boobs don't matter..happy children in a happy safe home are what matter to me. I don't think my husband and I will stay together due to all that has happened. I've told him he should find somebody who makes him happy, as it isn't me with two little babies to take care of.
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Thank you. My grandbabies are being raised as my children even though many family members have said I should let them be adopted out to some couple in their 20's. I am a single Mama again as my husband couldn't handle the baby situation. It's ok. Everybody guesses I'm their Mama not Grandma. I'm 45 , but most people think I'm 30. Good genetics. Boobs are the least of my concerns. Happy children are what matters :)
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Thank you very much. I'm 45 raising a two month old and two and half year old. It is worth it to know my grandbabies are safe and happy with me. My husband and I are no longer together as he wanted no part of raising two little ones, he is 51. I hope he finds somebody who makes him happy as it obviously wasn't me. Good luck with surgery, we skinny girls need to stick together!
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I commented above before I saw this post, wahoo! Implant free and BOOB free...grrr men. You deserve someone who will worship you and your babies.
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how are you? how are your breasts?
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Thank you for asking. I am sad, but not due to breasts. see my latest post. My breasts are the same as about a year ago. Still happy the implants are gone. I would NEVER have implants and tell all girls/women to not get them. Love yourself and find a man who loves you for the real beautiful body you have :)
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I dont know if I want my implants out bc I might regret it, but like you said... sick of water balloons. Do you think you may have been happier if you got smaller implants w a lift to tighten up the skin? I cant decide if I want them out completely w a lift, or smaller implants..I at least think I decided Theyre just too big now. My husband always says he doesnt care too but im emberrased to let him see them. I wear a sports bra to bed and wont let him touch them:( last night they were braless during sex.. just horrible and wont be doing that again. Im sorry to see youre sad, this issue has caused me great sadness as well.
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with your implants you looked nicer..for me....but important how you feel of course...
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You look so great! Your implants looked so uncomfortable, I'm glad you're doing so well now :)
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You look amazing! Very encouraging for my process, me 41 and want them gone, I will be rid of them and if my hubby won't touchem I will :) enjoy yourself xoxoxo you did this for your health and life is just easier with 2 less complications. Right?
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Wow! I just love your results and you have a rockin body!
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How are you doing? I think your results are amazing!
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I'm doing great, thanks for asking. The longer I go from surgery the happier I am. I am so happy the implants are gone. I love my real body.
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You look really good! It is amazing how the breasts retract and settle out. How are things going w/your husband? I haven't shown mine to my husband (one week out) yet. I guess as long as he is just staring :). You are being an incredible role model to your girls...
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My husband is doing better. But, he still prefers big boobs. Oh well...I am happy with everything. I smile sometimes when I see myself in the mirror because I am so happy to see my real boobs again.
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Seriously you look amazing!!! Knock out figure!
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You look amazing now, and they really fit your frame. And to be honest with you, the implants before looked kind of scary, and yours turned out truly great after the explant regardless. I also don't see the dent you're talking about? And your husband sounds like an idiot. He's most likely projecting his own insecurities on you and pressuring you to want to look better to make up for him- it happens a lot. If it's been 14 years though, I'm sure it's something you guys could get through maybe with counseling? That way there's just a middleman to make sure he understand why you'd rightfully be hurt. I hope all is well! :)
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They look great! Seems to get better with time. I'm so excited I got mine out too! Guys are strange. Mine is very supportive but I know he was disappointed when they came out. You have a great bod! Stare at a hot guy in front of him :) I'm sure he's no Ken doll himself. Hugs to you!!
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Well, I think you look beautiful!!! Can't wait to get mine out!!! I used my tax return and I'm only 700,00 dollars away now.!!!
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