35 year old mom of two, lost 80 lbs in 2005 and...

35 year old mom of two, lost 80 lbs in 2005 and have kept it off since. I went from a size 18 to a size 2. I'm very, very happy with my weight (5'3" 113lbs this morning) and my size. I work out 6 days a week, 12-15 hrs a week total. I'm a runner and triathlete. I am 100% happy with how I look in clothes. But I have significant skin on my stomach and sagging breasts from the weight loss.

I've been thinking about this off and on since I lost the weight, but I always decided not to because of the recovery. I don't want to have to take a single day off of working out. The thought alone gives me an anxiety attack. But I am so fed up now. I have done so many things to change my life and take control...the weight loss, also went back to school and am finishing my degree. It feels incomplete when I look in the mirror and see the skin. I really think that investing a few months in the recovery will be worth it in the end. And I WILL get my fitness back eventually. Even if its slow, it will happen.

So I actually had my first consult appointment. It went well, pretty much what I expected. The dr recommended a full TT with muscle repair, and a BA with lift (planning to go from small A's to full B's/small C). He said my health, being at an idea weight and the fact that all my extra skin is located in the center makes me an excellent candidate and thinks I can have amazing results. I have another consult this week to get another opinion, but I really liked the first doctor and his staff.

My main questions at this point involve recovery. I am also a full time college student finishing my senior year in a science degree, so its pretty intense. I put in at least 60 hour weeks with school between commuting, classes, homework and study time. We have a 3 week winter break in December/January and I'd like to do the surgery during that time, other wise I'd have to wait until August 2013. The doctor seemed to think 3 weeks is plenty of time to return to school. I will have a 1.5 hours commute each way that I would have to drive myself, plus sitting through lecture, going up/down stairs, a long walk from the parking garage, lab classes that require moving around. Does 3 weeks sound like enough time?

I'm also trying to get a summer internship next year. My major is geology, so the internships I am looking at require significant field work (hiking in mountains with a heavy back pack for 8hrs a day for weeks...this is a surprisingly ab intensive thing, for those who haven't done it, carrying a heavy pack up/down hill is more abs than legs) Again, dr felt given my current level of fitness I would have no issues doing this 5-6 months post op.


Hi runner Iam scheduled december 13 I am 35 years old with 3boys and i cant wait to get rid of lose skin good luck and keep us updated
Thanks! Looks like I will only be one week behind you, I just scheduled for 12/20
I am currently POD #3 and I feel pretty good. Check out my comments on my profile so you can see what has happened in the past 3 days. You are younger than I am, but I was also very fit and active before the TT, which I think helps in the healing process. Just expect that the ab muscles will be sore, and things that require ab muscles such as getting in/out of bed, sneezing, coughing does hurt. Despite that, I think that 3 weeks should be enough time to recover before going back to school. I plan to go back to work on POD #14. Not sure what to expect at 6 months, so can't answer your question about the hiking. Good luck.

Had consult #2 this morning. Went well. Also liked...

Had consult #2 this morning. Went well. Also liked this doctor. Got basically the same information and recommendations, no real differences as far as the procedure itself or potential outcome. She also agreed that 3 weeks for going back to school was fine and that hiking 6 months out shouldn't be a problem. Potential surgery date exactly the same: 12/26. Three main differences: Price quoted was $1500 more (mostly based on her estimate for 5 hours in surgery vs the first doctor who estimated 4 hours), she does not require an overnight hospital stay after, and I'm not sure I "clicked" as well with their patient coordinator. She was very nice, but I really like the one at the other dr's office. I'm leaning toward the first surgeon right now.
HI, Im exactly ONE week post op from major TT, BA with lift, and A&P vaginal repair, all done in the same surgery, 6hrs in length. I have to tell you, I thought I was going to die right after surgery, ( actually the first 3-4 days after surgery)! I have felt an improvement every day though, and seeing great results. The drains, and abdominal binder seem to be the most uncomfortable annoyance thus far. I am too an athlete, panicked about not working out. I cant wait until recovery is complete, results are at their peak, and I can resume my workouts! Seeing such improvement in just one week, I don't see any reason in 6 months that I wont be back into the best shape of my life!
Thanks for the encouragement! Glad you are recovering well, I know its going to be tough those first few days!

Thank you for joining us:)


Decided to go with the first surgeon, booked my...

Decided to go with the first surgeon, booked my appointment! He opened up a few surgery dates before Christmas because of demand, so it looks like I will going in 12/20! This gives me an extra week before starting back to school, I feel much better about that. So I guess...let the countdown begin! 57 Days!
Yep, you are going to look great! I think being at your goal weight, makes a huge difference in results & recovery. I can't wait to see your after pics!
Lets stay connected. I'm 12/20. Let me know how your pre-op goes. Do you need muscle repair as well?
Yep, doing muscle repair as well. Even though I have VERY strong abs, still have some separation, especially in the lower abs. Its not much, but both surgeons I consulted with said I'd be disappointed in my results if we didn't do muscle repair, and I think they are right. I know it will add to recovery, but if I am doing this, I might as well go for the best possible result.

So, first, I'm not sure if I should keep reading...

So, first, I'm not sure if I should keep reading reviews prior to my surgery! So many are depressing reading about recovery...then there will be a few great ones here and there. It seems people have such vastly different experiences. One review will talk about still being swollen and exhausted at 4 months out, another one at 4 months will say they feel great and 100% and back to exercising, no swelling, etc. Its horrible not knowing which "side" of recovery I will end up on.

Second, anyone else whose husband is not really supportive? Mine is technically going to act supportive because he knows I'm doing this either way (its my money and my body, so yeah, my decision) and he does feel I deserve it after how hard I worked to lose weight, get my degree, etc. But we've had A LOT of ups and downs, mostly downs lately. Our relationship is definitely not in a good place, but we keep working at it. So he assumes I am doing this to leave him. That's not it, whether or not or relationship makes it will be completely independent of whether or not I have this surgery. But he doesn't see it that way. Which is fair, I get it. Sure, obviously if I am going to end up in my late 30's and single I'd rather it be without all the sagging skin and sagging boobs. Who wouldn't prefer that? But its not like its going to be a determining factor. Anyway...I have a great friend who is going to be on call for recovery if my husband isn't being helpful (honestly, he is HORRIBLE at "taking care" of anyone, even when things were good with us, every time I was sick he just gave me a "suck it up") But still worried there's gonna be lots of fights and tears those first few weeks if I ask him for help.
I have quite a few years on you but honestly your story reminds me of me just a bit. Recovery wise....I did not get implants or lipo and it has been quite easy. I have not needed help other than household chores....taken care of my body, myself. I am about 10 days out now and am getting told by ps office to slow down-. I am trying to listen :-) I put this surgery off for years and one of the reasons was I didn't want to lose my fitness. Now I am looking at this as an extended rest period my physical body needs and I will come back stronger. Message me if you think I could offer you any more "advice"
49in49, you sound just like me except I'm 54. I haven't stopped exercising and they tell me I need a break. I have a heel spur now. My muscle separation keeps getting worse with excercising, but I can't stop. My surgery date is December 20th, MR with no lipo. My husband is supportive but he doesn't want to talk about. I'm doing this for me.

Deep breath girl!!!    Each person is different so don't base anything on someone else's experience.   Go into this telling yourself it will be fine and that any pain and swelling is temporary.  You can do this so stay strong.  

Take this a day at a time and just breath.   Focus on you and how this surgery is going to make you feel.  Don't worry about the hubby right now.  You can't control how he feels, acts or behaves so just focus on you.  Your strong, beautiful and will be fine.  

I am sure your hubby is just nervous and has no idea what to expect.  They can get goofy and have big time man periods.  Focus on you now:)



WIsh I didn't have to wait so long from decision...

WIsh I didn't have to wait so long from decision to surgery date. Too much time to have doubts.

Lots going on personally...I found out that I have one less class for my degree than I thought, so graduation is definitely next May. This is huge for me, its been a 6 year journey to complete a bachelors degree in a highly competitive science program while staying in the top 10% of my class and taking care of my family.

I also decided that since my January marathon I had planned is out because of the TT in December, why not go for a early December marathon? So I am doing a full marathon on 12/9 (that's a 26.2 mile run), 11 days before surgery, so its my last hooray. Hopefully its not my last race ever. I did an 18 mile run over the weekend, felt really good. But it also made me sad to wonder how long before I am back to running 18 miles again? I know a lot of people are back to their "usual" fitness routine fairly soon...but most people's usual routine is not an 18 mile run. Am I looking at 6 months? A full year? I don't think I could stand that.

And the more reviews I read, I hear about how still having numbness, pain, exhaustion, swelling, etc. at 4, 5, and 6 months out is "normal". Some people say a full year? I can't have that. With school, graduation, an intense internship over the summer...I don't have TIME to still be healing that far out. I have too much life to be actually out there living, not sitting on the couch in spanx drinking tea and moaning about swelling!

And finally, I'm down to 111 lbs. Lowest weight ever and I'm loving it. I even bought some size 0 jeans the other day because my 1's and 2's are falling off. And I bought some Lululemon size 2 running shorts (if you know this brand, they run SMALL!) My muscle tone on my arms and legs is just popping like never before. And I can't stop looking at my glutes/butt...the extra running miles are really showing there. I know that after a couple weeks on the couch recovering it will all be jello. Why, oh why would I do something that is going to make me look WORSE to most people?? I get so many compliments on how I look now, a 20-something guy at school told me the other day I had the "best body" of all the girls in our program...and I'm 10 years older than all of them. Why would I mess that up? But of course, he wouldn't say that if he saw me without clothes.

But the flip side, things have been worse than ever with the hubby, everyday it just gets clearer that I need to move on after I am done with school. So I guess that's my main motivation to continue forward with this.
I sympathise so much with you. I'm a runner and a yogi and I work as a lawyer (very long hours). I feel better than ever and look fab in clothes, but haven't worn a bikini in 6 years now (my eldest is nearly 5). It's so unfair. I look fabulous everywhere, but my BB and about the 7cm diameter of skin around it looks like it belongs to someone else. I'm scared of the recovery, I'm scared of not being happy with the results and the big scar and the BB that is not mine. I'm scared of something not going too well and feeling worse or weaker than now. I'm scared of people looking at me and thinking I am an idiot and a freak and that I have mutilated myself, so to speak. So I've seen a few doctors (who all say the same) well, actually one wants to put some mesh on my muscles to do the repair, which I don't think is necessary, and I keep agonising about it and shifting the date to make up my mind (I don't want to miss the skiing season -first with my kids-, a concert I've got tickets for, a friends wedding..., never is a good time to take two or three weeks off). Spoke to a friend of a friend that had it done and she was very happy, someone she knows who had it done about 8 years ago can't even see her scar... But I cannot make up my mind. And the more I read in these sites. With people having revisons and the photos of big, long, red scars, the more I fret, but then, most people seem glad they've done it, and no one posts photos 3 years after the event. I still hate my tummy, or the idea of lifting my arms and my tummy showing. I love to read of you guys being fit and happy with your bodies but wanting to have the procedure. You may be my tilting point.
anyuk - i have been going back and forth for 5 years, wanting the surgery for 12. i am finally going to cross the bridge soon, and totally understand what you are saying. you have to consider that people are writing reviews on here mostly when they are in the throes of recovery and it's subsequent frustration, not returning 9 months later to tell us how happy they are and fantastic they feel...so take the reviews and their scary pictures with a grain of salt! i like to imagine myself at 50...still with this belly (that i developed when i lost 110 lbs 12 years ago. kids didn't stretch it any further) and i just want to cry in frustration. my stomach doesn't seem to belong to me...it's like an extra appendage or a barnacle. for me, removing the extra skin is a lifestyle issue. i will never be wearing a bikini or showing my belly to anyone other than my husband, so scars to me don't mean that much...i already have stretch marks everywhere, so what's one more line? i think people who have beautiful line free skin have a harder road to walk to make this decision. in the end i think you decide what is worse - a line on your skin for the rest of forever, or loose poochy skin? for me, i'd take a full length fleur de lis over having this stomach any day.
I'm really glad to see more and more people who understand the doubts! I've never been too worried about the scar, I've seen pics a couple years out and its so faded usually. And my surgeon is very sure it will be LOW on me, so I am pretty confident I will still be able to wear a bikini. Actually, my dream is to run in my sports bra and running shorts. I think that is going to be doable even with the scar. And I am definitely not opposed to getting a tattoo over my scar later on if its still bad. But really I'd be less self conscious of the scar than of the skin. I also totally understand about trying to schedule/time surgery. That was a huge issue for me being a student in a program with a lot of physical work involved. This winter break just happened to work out perfectly and is kind of my "last chance" before grad school when I will likely be living on my own. So its kind of now or never for me. So its going to happen.

Officially one month out from my surgery date....

Officially one month out from my surgery date. Everyday I get new and more doubts. And everyday my personal life gets more complicated.

I truly feel that I have more to lose by having the procedure than I have to gain. I feel like will be losing my fitness, will be losing my size/shape that I love (because I am SURE I will gain weight during recovery and end up bigger than I am now), possibly losing a huge career opportunity (if I am not 100% recovered in 5 months as my surgeon predicts and cannot take an internship over the summer). The only thing I will gain is that when I do get out of my marriage next year, I will have the confidence to pursue another relationship. That's it. My whole identity, who I am and who I have worked so hard to become, is tied to my fitness, racing and my career. I'm risking every one of those things in order to look good naked. I'm not sure how much logical sense that makes.

My pre-op appointment is two weeks from Thursday. Both with the doctor and at the hospital to get all my blood work done. (Also going to be sizing again for breast implants...I know that technically means this review belongs in "Mommy Makeover" but I HATE that term so much that I couldn't bear to post this in that section. But still undecided on size and that part of the surgery will be happening no matter what)

I haven't even started to think about supplies or planning since school and life is pretty much all consuming with school and marathon training. I found out that my last day of school is actually 12/14 instead of 12/19, so that gives me 6 days off between my last final and surgery to get stuff done and organized.

I added a before/after weight loss photo, the before is from 2004 at my heaviest weight, 183lbs. The after is from 2007 at about 115. I am now 108. This is just to show that I was not always this weight or size, how hard I worked and what I managed to accomplish with my body all on my own.
Hi Runnergirl. I 100% understand what you are going through. I began my journey 3 1/2 years ago and finally bit the bullet and had my tummy (and boobs) done on Monday. I am 5' 4" and 112 pounds (+ or - 3) and I work out like a mad woman 5 days a week. I run long distnances like you and run races to win. My pace is fast and I am proud of the work I can do. I also go to the gym and do cardio and lift 2-3 times a week. Each workout goal is to burn between 700 and 1,000 calories. I am fit, strong and with clothes on I look good! However, naked is another story. When I walked into my plastic surgeons office three years ago she looked at me like I was crazy. Once I lifted shirt, she nodded in agreement and actually said I looked like a bloated eithiopian. She said my stomach did not belong on my body. After thinking this through and even canceling a surgery last year I came to the conclusion that this is not an impulsive decision but rather something I think about doing every day of my life. I worried so much that my fitness level would be compromised, but my surgeon assured me that would not be the case. We sound like we are cut from the same cloth and people like us won't simply dot allow themselves to not succeed. We work hard and are perfectionists. We will get better as quickly as possible because its who we are as people. I am day 3 po and I am not gonna lie...this hurts like hell but I already feel so much better than yesterday. I assume each day will get better. You do need support though. I have three boys 4,6 and 8 and I couldn't have done this without the full support of my mother and husband. You will know when it is the right time for you. Like I said, it took me over 3 years to finally schedule and follow thru. Good luck and I will continue to read your posts.
Thanks! We do sound exactly a like! Hope your recovery is still going well!
I am 7 week PO. I will tell you with 100% you need to read all the info that there is and really realize that yes the final results will be great, but-it IS going to be a rough ride. I am active, i had to go back to work 5 days after my surgery, others take 2-3 weeks. It IS not easy and you will only last a couple hours at work at the most. It is very hard to camoflague your tummy because it is swollen for along time. I have only worn sweat pants or yoga pants for 7 weeks. I don't want to be Debbie Downer here, but the recovery is brutal and I am not sugar coating anything. I am a tough gal and can handle surgery's and lipo from other procedures, this is the hardest to endure. It's been 7 weeks of sleeping on my back, not working out, much, i eat right and i have a VERY supportive husband. He says never again will he go through something so hard, cuz it's hard on him. I have read the other comments and YES it is exciting and you will look awesome. Just be prepared for a battle, it sounds like you will do great, but it's not a fun ride but it will be worth it. I read all of Kim's helpful hints and that is a life saver, listen to the others and get all the info you can that will really help you. Excited for you! Think summer! Good Luck.

Well, 17 days to go. Feeling more sure that I want...

Well, 17 days to go. Feeling more sure that I want to do this. I'm still worried about how much recovery will set back my life and fitness, but I'm more ready to accept that part as just part of the deal and say the end result will be worth those set backs.

I'm kind of getting worried about the pre-op appointment on Thursday. I *think* I am in great health, but there is always a chance of something coming up on blood work that I don't know about. I've been taking iron supplements because low iron is common in endurance athletes (plus I'm almost vegetarian and eat no red meat) But still...what if there is something else wrong I don't know about? I'm also worried about how much blood they will take. I have a marathon on Sunday (3 days after my pre-op) Hopefully they don't take enough to effect my race :( I know you aren't supposed to give blood within 6 weeks of a marathon because it takes you that long to replace it all, but that's a totally different volume.

Its going to a be a busy couple weeks...between today and my surgery I have 4 exams, my pre-op, my marathon, my son's birthday, 2 holiday parties, one end of semester/graduation party, and just general life of course! Right now my mind is still focused almost completely on school and my marathon, I'll shift to actually thinking more about surgery after the 14th I guess...

Had my pre-op yesterday. Went really well. Paid...

Had my pre-op yesterday. Went really well. Paid the balance to the surgeon (will pay hospital the day of surgery). Doctor went through what to expect the day of surgery, in the hospital, etc. Said to bring any underwear or swim suit I want him to try and hide the scar in and that he has his patients very involved in the marking process. So I feel good about that. Signed releases, made the final decision on implants (300cc...should be about a full B/small C) Took before photos. Talked about recovery again. He says his goal is to have patients back to light "normal" activity at 2 weeks, and if no complications cleared to start easing back into full activity at 6 weeks. He said binder for 2 weeks, then spanx for 2-4 more weeks. Post op care is just changing gauze daily on incision for the first week, then after 7 days start applying antibiotic ointment, then transitioning to scar treatment. He had a list of products but kind of leaves that to patients. Got prescriptions, not much...antibiotic, one pain med, and an anti nausea just in case. Seems less than most. First post op appt is 7 days after (he will see me the next morning in hospital before i am discharged) Patient consultant calls to check on me daily though, so that is nice. We again discussed my opposition to lipo and he was 100% okay with it and I didn't even sign consents for lipo. I loved that he was so supportive of my concerns and his priority was my concerns. Went to the hospital to pre-register and have bloodwork done. Only one vial, yay! She trashed my arm though. Got pre-op anesthesia instructions, no food/water after midnight, no herbal supplements for 2 weeks, no aspirin 72 hours prior, but that's it. Not too bad. Gave me soap to wash with that morning. And a cup for a urine pregnancy test the morning of. Funny, haven't had sex in years, it would have to be an immaculate conception LOL, but whatever, I wasn't going to argue based on my crappy marriage, I'll just pee in the cup and bring it! Getting more real now.
Yaaaay! You made the jump! You'll do great! And I can't wait to see how your new boobies & tummy will look. You deserve it & it's really going to make you smile on the inside where it matters most!

Not much new to say...I assume my blood work was...

Not much new to say...I assume my blood work was all good since I haven't hear anything from the doctor. I finished school for the semester, been working on cleaning my house and getting it decorated for Christmas. The next couple days are just going to be cleaning, laundry and cooking meals for after surgery. I'm worried I won't be able to get the house as clean as I want. No one has really cleaned it since August, so its a nightmare. Told my kids about the surgery, they just said "and we should care about this why?" and walked off. I don't really have any "supplies" together, I'll fill my prescriptions tomorrow, but I guess other than that I am winging it. I hope my couch works for sleeping with enough pillows (its huge U-shaped couch, so lots of position options) Every time I mention to my husband that I am worried about not getting all those things other people do (recliner, toilet seat riser, etc.) He just rolls his eyes and snaps at me that I can suck it up and deal without that stuff, don't be a big baby you don't need that junk, etc. Oh boy. Its gonna be fun. I think dealing with his attitude is going to be a much tougher part of my recovery than the physical pain. What does everyone bring to the hospital? I'm staying overnight, husband won't be there - just dropping off and picking up the next morning (I'm not sure if he'll come visit after work that day, I highly doubt it since it would be a whole 15 min drive out of this way - heaven forbid!) So they said NO valuables (ie, my phone) I hate the idea of not having it for that long!! I know I will be totally out of it, but there are a few people I'd like to update/text just that I am alive. I don't own things like a robe or slippers. I guess I just need to bring clothes to go home in? like baggy sweats?
I'm an active person, ran a half four days before surgery and although the running has been a bit slow to come back to for me, I feel great! I think my being fit played a big part in how I recovered. Was off the narcs in 3-5 days and running errands. I think you will do great and be able to meet all of your physical goals for your internship. I too just finished a return to college and the TT was a gift to myself for all of my hard work in grad school and for trying like mad to get rid of my twin skin through diet and exercise. I'm so sorry that you don't have the support at home that you deserve. Don't worry, lots of support and no judgement here. I know this site helped ease my worries and has been a great support since. Best to you on your surgery!
So excited for you! I too sad about the lack of support from your family. Days 2-4 were the hardest for me. Had TT, MR and lipo of the flanks. I did not realize how often you use those ab muscles. getting up to use the bathroom was horrible, and hurt so bad. So glad you have a friend who is there for you. How did your marathon go?! I am now 8 weeks post off today. Doc gave me clearance to start lightly jogging at 6 weeks, and lifting, and its coming! I have to start slow, and feel that tightness in upper abs from muscle repair, but it feels so good to be running again, gotta get ready for Boston!! I'll be thinking about you, hang in there! Sending happy vibes your way!
Thanks! My marathon went great, it was super humid and 75 degrees, and didnt want to push and risk some major issue so close to surgery, so I took it easy, so not my best time by far, but it was such a fun race and so glad I got one more race in. I felt 100% the next day, legs weren't even sore. Anyhow, yeah, you do use your and a lot, I think I've learned this most from hiking, it really accentuates it. My doctor is also said (assuming no issues) he thinks I'll be able to start light jogging at 6 weeks. I hope! I have my eye on a half ironman in October and another full in one year. I guess we'll see!

I should be out of surgery 48 hours from now....

I should be out of surgery 48 hours from now. Crazy. Still haven't gotten my prescriptions filled or any supplies, house isn't quite clean yet, meals not cooked yet. I think deep down I feel like something is going to prevent it from happening. Like my husband will some how sabbatoge it, like by spending the rest of the money to pay the hospital. We had a huge fight last night, I couldn't stand being in the house so I spent quite a few hours just sitting at a bar studying for the GRE. I don't know what I am going to do when I can't just get in the car and get away like that. Right now the only things that keep me sane are running and being able to just remove myself when things get bad. When fights start after surgery and I can't even drive, I don't know how I am going to handle it.

I can't even believe this is happening. Sometime...

I can't even believe this is happening. Sometime around noon today, my throat started hurting. Bad. Can barely talk or swallow now.

I have not had a cold or been sick in 18 MONTHS (at least, I can't even remember the last time) I stopped taking a lot of my usual vitamins and supplements because they said to before surgery. I joked with the nurse, "oh great, now I will probably get sick for the first time in forever" She just laughed (probably not believing what I take really works) And sure enough. Sick. 1.5 days before surgery. I'm beside myself. I will have to call tomorrow and see what my options are. My only shot is that I am better by next week and that they can fit me in (I doubt it though, he is REALLY booked this time of year). If they can't do it by like the 28th, then that's it. I won't have enough recovery time before the start of school. And that means abut 3 FULL YEARS before I have another shot at it (after grad school is over).
oh, i am so sorry...and cannot imagine how disappointed/frustrated you must feel. will pray it goes away as fast as it came & that you are able to move forward before the end of your break. healing prayers your way!
good luck!
deep breaths mama. when you can't run on your legs or run away in the car - just deep breaths, and don't bother to respond if it won't change anything. there is a line from a beautiful book by Lisa See (good recovery reading if you are into it) called "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan". It is set in imperial China, where women were more than subservient, they were treated as almost subhuman. Except the matriarch in the family - she could do and have whatever she wanted. She approached her young new daughter-in-law and pulled her aside and told her the truth of marriage and of her life, saying, "Obey, obey, obey and then do whatever you want." I made it my mantra. One day... I'll do whatever I want. I repeat those words like a promise and a secret to myself, and I can smile through just about any damn thing my husband comes up with. You can do it.

Just talked to dr's office and they think we can...

Just talked to dr's office and they think we can most likely still go forward tomorrow. My throat still hurts, but no fever or other symptoms so far. Patient consultant is going to talk to my doctor when he comes in later and call me back. She said I might be a lot more sore from anesthesia (intubation, throat, etc.) but other than that since I'll be on IV antibiotics for 24 hrs and then after going home, it should knock out anything. So we'll see.
Oh wow. I am with you. My surgery is on 21st. My dr gave me zpak Monday. I have mild cough and little irritatin in throat. Lets keep in touch during recovery. I hope everything goes well. Best of luck.
Hope you feel better by Friday! I'm so unsure what to do, but I guess if the dr is okay with going forward,it should be fine. So worried about how my throat will feel after if it feels this bad now!
I am going to trust my PS. Are you coughing? Lercin here said it hurts like someone is tabbing you if you cough. And I am coughing but no congestion.

Went into surgery at 6:30am, was done around 9:30,...

Went into surgery at 6:30am, was done around 9:30, out of recovery around 11:00 and into my room for night. All in all, doing okay. Dr. came buy to see me once and said everything went well and he is really pleased. It's kind of tough to update from my phone, so full details tomorrow afternoon when I am home! Just wanted to let everyone know I made it and say thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!
Awesome! Enjoy the extra attention in the hospital...
Glad it went well. Did my mommy makeover yesterday (TT, BA and lipo). The first day is the worst, but you feel better every hour. You should be ok without a recliner because you can put weight on your arms. just put pillows beside you and under your knees. Welcome to the flat side!

Its been about 21 hours now. Catheder came out...

Its been about 21 hours now. Catheder came out after 12 hours, the got up for the first time. It was horrible! Feel like I ripping apart every time I move. I can live with the pain, but I'm worried I am damaging my results already! And the coughing? Ugh. A few of them were bad last nIght and was sure I ripped everything! Pain comes and goes, feels like horrible menstrual cramps but all the way from hops to boob. No real discomfort from the lift/breasts, only if I lift my arm too high.

doctor will be by this morning to check on me, change dressings and then send me home. Nervous about that because I loooove the nurses here so much.
Make sure when you have to cough hold a pillow real tight against your tummy, it feels like support and it will support your tummy when coughing. That was very important tip from my doctor. Good Luck

PO day 2...Got home from hospital around 8pm the...

PO day 2...Got home from hospital around 8pm the day after surgery. Kept me longer because of the major pop I felt so dr could come look at me again. He thinks it's fine.

Hard to get comfortable at home. My tailbone hurts BAD if I am in the right position (not much padding back there!) And crazy swollen already! When I look down at my tummy I 5 months pregnant (was flat BEFORE lol), cant even see drain sites its so swollen, but I guess that's temporary. Didn't expect such crazy swelling so soon though. I ate some soup at the hospital that was like pure sodium - ugh, but the rest of the food was gross. Have only eaten crackers, a little soup and jello so far.
I see you did your surgery, take it easy and rest a lot ....it's not an easy road....

Feeling a bit better this morning, still pretty...

Feeling a bit better this morning, still pretty rough to get around. Up and down takes forever and walking is excruciating for my back. Still taking the hard core pain meds, trying to space them out a little.

Got my first peak at my tummy last night when we changed the gauze (we have to do this daily) Its swollen, but I'm pretty happy with my scar and my belly button!

Was cleared to shower yesterday but didn't feel up to it, so going to try and shower later today. That should be interesting.

Going back to surgery day: Feeling up to writing...

Going back to surgery day: Feeling up to writing about the day of surgery now. Was scheduled for 6:30 am, arrived at the hospital at 5 am. Checked in, paid the hospital feel and was sent to the surgery waiting area. A few minutes later a FRANTIC nurse came running out and asking for me. I had no idea they were actually calling me back, he wasn't clear and just "come here for a minute" Anyhow, I was the first surgery of the day so they wanted to get me started. He was very rushed and flustered and it totally stressed me out. He couldn't get the iv in my veins in my hand because they were all too small, so have totally bruised up hands and he still had to go to the elbow. I calmed down a lot when my doctor and anesthesiologist came in. My doctor did markings, showed me where he planned the scar to be and it looked good to me. He was great and really put me at ease. The anesthesiologist was also awesome, it was a woman, about my age and she was joking with me and just great. They brought my husband to get my clothes and get a hug/kiss, then she gave me a "cocktail" in my iv. I was still chatting away so she had to give me more. Then they started wheeling me. I remember going in the operating room, and switching from the bed to the table, but that is the last think I remember until waking up in recovery. When I did wake in recovery I was SUPER nauseous. Really bad. The nurses were awesome, the immediately gave me anti-nausea meds in my IV, that wasn't working enough, so she did a patch, it helped but not completely so he went and got a doctor on duty to prescribe a 3rd med - that finally did the trick. I was so thankful they did so much to help me, I hate being nauseous and I hate throwing up (I didn't actually vomit) So the people in recovery get major points from me for being so proactive! All I remember about pain during recovery was the burning, my stomach area felt completely on fire.
That's when the coughing started though. They said it was from anesthesia. I had a lot of phlegm. It was horrible. Every cough felt like I was ripping open. I was so out of it that I didn't know or think about bracing my stomach yet. Finally at some point the nurse told me I had the pain pump and to start pressing the button (I didn't even know it was there) Once the nausea was gone, they wheeled me a regular room. My husband had left for a meeting, but my doctor was great and called him to give him a full update. My surgery was from 6:30am-9:30am, I was in my room by 11:30. Pain wasn't too bad, except when coughing. They brought me water and ice chips, I had major cotton mouth. My doctor came in a few hours later check on me and told me everything went great. Husband got there around 2pm and stayed the rest of the evening :0) Phlegm and coughing was getting worse, I made the mistake of trying hold back or prevent the coughs. So the phlegm was building up. I had a horrible cough that took me by surprise and I felt a HUGE pop, felt like an explosion in my abs and everything was on fire. I started screaming and shaking, we called the nurse and like 3 people ran in. I guess I was that loud. It was by far the worst pain I've ever experienced. I was just writhing in pain and crying, which was making it all worse. The nurse calmed me down and check my incision, but I knew that if something popped it was INSIDE. She helped me do deep breaths to calm down, I was just shaking. She added a second pain med in addition to what was in the pump, she brought me some pills too and told me to make sure and push the button on the pump every 10 min. She explained that I needed be proactive and take control of the coughing. If I force a cough every 30 min or so with my tummy braced, then I won't get taken by surprise. So from then on I would sit up, have my husband put pressure on a pillow over my tummy and force a cough every 30 min to clear the phlegm. It was painful, but it was a controlled kind of pain rather than unexpected. The nurse also called my doctor and he came back to check on me a little later. He took off my binder and had me do a mini crunch and felt my muscles and didn't think anything popped. He said I have 3 layers of stitches, so its probably okay, but I need to keep an eye on that specific spot. After I got the coughing and pain under control the rest of the day went better. Getting up to the bathroom was still horrible though. I was petrified to move after the popping experience. My doctor said if I wanted to stay a second night in hospital I could, but I decided to go home. Left the hospital about 7:30pm, 36 hours after surgery. I'm amazed at people who leave right away. No way I could have done that. The ride home wasn't bad, but making it into the house from the car was awful. My back was hurting so bad, I just didn't think I could make it that far. Finally got in the house and it took like 30 min just to get comfortable on the couch and figure out how to get up and down.

Took first shower, so this is the first time I saw...

Took first shower, so this is the first time I saw my whole body, standing. The swelling is INSANE! Its in a roll or pooch right above my incision (see new pic added) I never had a roll or pooch before, now I have a huge roll! Not happy. Even my baggiest, baggiest sweat pants (which are a men's size) don't even come close to going over my huge belly. I didn't expect the swelling to be so localized like that. Its so swollen I can feel it straining my incision. I haven't eaten salty foods, been drinking tons of water, and resting completely other than trips to the bathroom. I didn't expect it to be this bad at day 3 or to be in a roll like this. It seems there is no way I am tight enough if I have a big roll! Makes me think I will always have a pooch over my incision! That's worse than what I had before!
It's just swelling....sure it is nothing t o worry about. Trust the process. If its comfortable, try some lymphatic massage to get the fluid to move up the torso and back into the main drain in the neck.
Thanks. I worry it's so bad ghat its stretching out the skin right there and it will be loose even when the swelling goes down and I'll have an over hang! I had no over hang before so that is scary!
it takes some pretty extreme stretching to get an overhang. if being pregnant didn't give you an overhang, then 2 inches of swelling won't. you will be great, i am sure of it!

I don't know why I thought being in such good...

I don't know why I thought being in such good shape would mean an easier recovery. It's been a nightmare an I am DONE with it. I've never been more sad, scared and depressed in my life. I'm so swollen my binder barely stays shut, it looks like I'm hiding a basketball under there. I can still barely walk to the bathroom, still takes me a good 10 min just to get up. And now I'm dealing with horrid post op BM, I've been on stool signers, MOM and even did an enema this morning but all it caused was 2 hours of screaming and crying and sweating on the toilet, but no BM and still feeling bloated. If I could go back, wearing a bikini is not worth what I've gone through these last 4 days. No even close. And I know I still have a long road ahead. I wish I could make a u-turn and get off it. I'm happy for everyone who is having great recoveries.
Hang in there, I know that you had a very rough time so far. The swelling totally sucks.  I felt like I would never be flat at times, but eventually the swelling subsides & you look better & better.  As far as a garment goes, I was able to change into a tube shaped compression garment that fit so nice & snug & made me feel so pulled in and helped with the swelling.  It fit right under my clothing & the funny thing is, sometimes, when I gain a few pounds, like during the holidays, I still wear it to suck in any puffiness.  I wore it yesterday for Christmas Eve!  Mine was from Maidenform.  Anyway, hang in there. 
Thanks, I guess I just wasnt expecting this ridge or roll of swelling. I think I could mentally handle just overall swelling a lot better. Muffin top, rolls, etc were something I did NOT have prior to surgery. I didn't pay all this money and go through all this pain to get a roll!! Swollen and just generally larger I expected, a roll I didn't. Today I am a full 7 inches bigger than before surgery. That's at least 3 sizes. Not even my biggest, baggies PJ's even go past my butt. I feel huge, fat and miserable. I was 100% happy with body in clothes, now I hate my body in clothes.
It's way, way, way to soon to hate your body in clothes. Your body is just over-reacting to the surgery because this is the 1st surgery you have ever had. So it's just going into overdrive. You won't have a roll or muffin top. We all go thru that phase of thinking this swollen skin is gonna act like our old skin. But, it won't because as ur skin reconnect to the muscle it is forming new elastic bands. Our old worn out bands are gone. Just stay off ur feet, only get up to use the restroom or grab a bite to eat. Any extra activity is gonna make u swell more until ur body realizes everything is ok. Merry Christmas & I hope u feel better today....just stay away from mirrors & measuring tape.

Regret gets bigger every day. I just want to put...

Regret gets bigger every day. I just want to put on my size 2 lululemons and go for a 15 mile run. I want to take my dog to the park to play. I want to go for a drive with the top off my jeep and the wind in my hair and the radio blasting. Instead I sit looking 6 months prego, in pain and crying and hating the way my tummy looks. I should have listened to my gut that putting myself through this wasn't going to be worth it, but I read so many positive stories here that I got caught up in the hope that maybe that would be me. It's not. I hate that my husband has to go out and up some clothes today to wear to my post op tomorrow because nothing I have fits me. I don't even know what size to tell him to get. I used to be an xs in everything, now maybe a large?

I'm not sure how to describe it, but when I take...

I'm not sure how to describe it, but when I take my binder off, it's excruciating. I take it off slowly to adjust, but the whole time it's off I am miserable. It feels like I have no strength in my abs, it doesnt feel like they are pulled tight, but it feels the opposite, like they are slack and blah and weak and cant support my body. I can't breath deeply or talk while it's off. I just shake. I had to cut my shower short tonight because I couldn't stand it. It's only my lower and that feel slack when the binder is off, my upper abs still feel tight. But the lower abs is where all the swelling is and also where I've felt all the ripping/popping from the coughing. Worried this feeling is because everything in the lowers got pulled apart.
Hang in there my fellow runner! I know I am going crazy with feeling sore, and the worst is getting tired so easily. I think "when am I going to feel like my old self, and be able to resume my running?" But, truthfully, I have no energy for much. I will say I do get better every day... I'm now 15 days post op. My PS keeps me tightly compressed - I have a layer of foam, then a compression garment, then a corset! Lol. But he says thin people with less fat actually need to be compressed a little longer. So, even tho I am already sick of these garments, I'm trusting him. Know there are others who totally GET how you feel. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you! Take care!
What brand of corset?
The corset is by Flexees. It's looks like something from the Victorian era. It is a size small and has vertical boning in it, with bra hooks all up the back. It goes from right under the bra to the top of my hip bones. It def gives me an hour glass shape. He told me to alternate the top and bottom each time I shower, so that the part of my lower abs stays snug. Good luck at dr today!!

Had my one week post op appt this morning! Let's...

Had my one week post op appt this morning! Let's see: first off, my drains are out! Wow, I was surprised, thought they were still draining too much but he went ahead and removed them. Didn't feel it at all. We talked about my concerns with damaging the muscle repair with all the coughing and he check me over pretty well and says if all looks good. He did three layers of repair and he said i had very significant seperation, so he thinks that is why i feel so sore and weird when the binder is off. He said I can stop my antibiotic now. I still have the tape over the incision, he said that will stay until it falls off on its own or until he takes it off in two weeks. If it does fall off I can start whatever scar treatment I want. As far as the boobs he said the look perfect and I can start wearing any non-underwire bra in two more days. So hopefully I can do a little bra shopping this weekend! He gave me a message technique to do 3x a day to help them drop/settle. So hopefully I can do a little bra shopping this weekend! He seems to think my ridge of swelling is totally normal, just due to the drainage pathways being interrupted and all that. Just said to keep binder as tight as possible. Next appointment in two weeks from now. I guess I feel better that #1 drains are out, and #2 he doesn't think anything is damaged. I handled the outing better than I expected too, got Starbucks on the way home, that made me feel almost human!
Sounds like things are getting better :)
Oh I am so sorry you are having such a tough time recovering. I am so glad you got your drains out, that helped me a lot with pain. The first 2 weeks I was super sad one minute, and having panic attacks the next. Every little pain or feeling would send my emotions on high wondering if I would ever be normal again. Almost 4 weeks out now and I feel back to normal except the swelling when I do too much during the day or eat sugary or salty foods. I know it doesn't mean anything but I do believe you will look amazing when all is said and done. I also have weird bulge bloating over and under my scar and my husband has to convince me it will go away. This is certainly more major then I thought as well, but I do believe you will come out looking and feeling better than you can imagine. Much love to you! (I had a huge turn around about day 12 with pain, but I did not have MR)
This is such a good first visit! I hope that you take every small victory from it!!! Drain's out - no damage etc - that's all great news and will make you feel 100% better emotionally than you have been. Am pleased for you.

So its not a tummy pic, but my one saving grace in...

So its not a tummy pic, but my one saving grace in all this was doing my boobs too. I've been happy with those since day 1, every time I get frustrated with the tummy I can say to myself "yeah, but at least you've got boobs now!" This is the first time I've seen them in "regular" clothes. They are way bigger than I expected, I went with 300cc and expected a full B to maybe a small C, ha! I haven't measured anything yet, but I think they might be bigger than that, at least a full C. I can't say I am disappointed though! I still look like I am hiding a basketball under my yoga pants, I am HUGE compared to normal (I know I don't look "huge", you just have to understand how teeny tiny I was a week ago!), but those at least are MY xs yoga pants that are stretched onto my body. And my binder is pretty thick and bulky under there, so that is some of it. And I'm on my period, which I know is contributing to the swelling, so maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised in a couple days when that is over and things will go down a bit. On the funny side - I totally took a hydrocodone for my cramps this morning. Damnit if I have the stuff, why not?

I'm thinking I have two more weeks in the binder before switching to something else. I hate how bulky it is under clothes - it totally shows in most of my clothes, how did everyone deal with that? I already look weird enough hunched over, but the binder just looks so odd!
Will you get to have a compression garment? I loved mine and think it helped with the swelling a lot. When I was washing it I'd wear just a binder and felt like it squeezed the swelling down over the incision making it way worse. Hope things continue to get a little better day by day
I'm hoping my dr will approve me to switch to one at my next appt (I'll be 3 weeks) I love the structural support of the binder, but its also driving me nuts. I think its making me feel even bigger than I am since it looks so "thick" under clothes.
You look great, I think smaller girls have less dramatic results with regards to the TT. I did not look to bad prior, (but still not as small as you) so expected to be more than flat after and that was not the case, I am slowly seeing improvement. Your BA look fabulous !

As if things couldn't get better: for the first...

As if things couldn't get better: for the first time in 8 years I have love handles! Woo freaking hoo!!! If the 60 minutes and crying that was involved in trying to take a shower today wasn't enough. And the fact that it still takes like 15 min and lots of help to just stand up. And my husband laughing at me today that its all karma, and how great it is now that if I leave him no one will want me because I am a fat girl again. So, to celebrate how much I screwed up my life with this surgery, tonight I guess I'll see how well hydrocodone and alcohol mix! Yay!
I was also disappointed to see my scar is higher than I thought, i cannot wear low cut things like a lot of the women on here. My PS said its all based off my own hip and waist shape. The good news is my C-sections scar were basically GONE after a few years, so I know the scars will also fade to almost nothing. For 10 days you look VERY good, I know you are sad about the scar but your belly is super flat, contoured, and HOT! I hope you talk to your PS about scar, he may be able to recommend scar revision or treatments.
First i want to start off by saying that u look great! Secondly, Why did u have this surgery? For u or for others? After reading reviews did u not realize that this is a process, a long one? Of course u will be swollen but u will have ur figure back, it just takes TIME. As far as anyone losing respect for you... I think that is ridiculous!! I am very concerned for u. Your scar will drop with time, maybe not as far as u would like but it will u are tiny and very swollen! If u have to change the cut of ur swimsuit or underwear so people can see ur hot body then at least u have that option whereas before u couldn't show it any how with all the loose and wrinkled skin that is GONE! We sometimes have to trade one battle wound for another. Pick ur head up, as u did this surgery for urself not the 25 ur olds who thought u were hot and def not ur professors. You have worked hard to achieve your 17% body fat image and 6 years to obtain your degree.... For u, not for them so pick ur head up and know that u r beautiful and know that u are NOT fat, u will get through this and I am praying that u will be happy with the end result!! I also pray that u will not quit 3 classes b4 earning ur degree. Remember that u will probably not see ur professors or a lot of these people in a years time that u r worrying weather they think u have gained 20lbs over a break. This is for YOU not them! Love sent ur way and hope u understand! Yeah ur weight loss defines who u r but no one will LOVE u less if u were 20lbs heavier!!! But U are NOT and everything will smooth out and look amazing in no time!
I knew it was a process, but so many people are "happy" right off the bat. You read so much of "well, I'm swollen, but I look so much better already". I don't feel that way. I feel like I look worse. I prefer the wrinkled skin I can hide and fit into my clothes over the swelling that I can't hide. Its my opinion, you don't have to agree. And I had every one of these concerns prior. In fact, if you read above, I almost cancelled my surgery because I was worried about these EXACT issues. I let the overly positive vibe here confuse me, everyone was so positive about about great it would be and how happy I would be, I got sucked in and wanted to believe that this surgery for vanity would solve all my problems. Its ironic that people who are willing to pay 10K and suffer for months over how they look are criticizing me. What I regret is not learning to love myself and my body exactly how it was. What I regret is not having the confidence to own my wrinkled skin as part of my journey and part of me and accepting it and being proud of it.

Its ironic that people who are willing to pay over...

Its ironic that people who are willing to pay over 10K and suffer for months over how they look are criticizing me for now being concerned with how I look. How many people here had things they didn't do before surgery because of how they looked? Many. I've read the stories about people here who didn't have confidence before their surgery and after surgery their whole outlook changed. We were ALL on this web site because of our issues with how we look. I just happened to be one who was happier BEFORE my surgery and disappointed now. What I regret is not learning to love myself and my body exactly how it was. What I regret is not having the confidence to own my wrinkled skin as part of my journey and part of me and accepting it and being proud of it. What would I want my daughter to learn? That plastic surgery doesn't fix anything. That you shouldn't try to modify your body with a knife to fit the world's ideal. That you should love yourself for who you are and not go under a knife for vanity. That's what I would want my daughter to learn from all this. Its fine for those who are happy with their surgery, but I'm not. No water in my face, harsh words, etc. is going to change that. I think there is value in my sharing my disappointment because maybe it will prevent someone in my situation from going through the same thing,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I pray that you will at some point have some peace and be able to move forward from this experience, I'm sure you will, you sound like a strong woman. This is such a big freaking deal I can't imagine not having the support of my husband throughout this ordeal, he was kinda jerky for a few days because he is so used to me just not depending on anyone and just didn't know how to deal. We had a talk and he is back to normal thank God! but my kids were wonderful throughout and my oldest daughter stayed home with me the 1st whole week to take care of me, she was just so concerned and an awesome nurse. No one knew what type of surgery I had except for my husband and my boss. Again, i'm sure the lack of support from your family added to you feeling so so bad. I'm sure right now its no consolation, but you were in such great shape that I'm sure all that you have right now is swelling. In a few months you will be back to your fit self minus the loose skin. You WILL look beautiful again, hang in there. I don't understand why you are still with your husband, he doesn't sound like a very nice person. He is right about one thing though, Karma is a bitch and he better watch out. Sending prayers and hugs your way, I truly hope that this thing turns around for you and that you end up loving your results in the long run. Don't worry about your weight, you brought yourself this far, a few pounds while you recover won't be a big deal for you to get rid of, I'm sure of it. Hugs!
I've been thinking about you. I hope things are going better for you. Hang in there!
Hi Runner I've been wanting to post on your story for a few days but haven't found the words of what it is I wanted to share with you....but I totally understand your frustration! I have regretted my surgery many time but only to myself haven't told anyone...I don't want to start a fight with my husband or family and how I spend all this money and still not happy! Lol but anyways I too have looked in the mirror and thought the skin was not that bad...but as days go by I'm stating to see better results...I'm staring to love my self again. I went to the gym yesterday and just walked at a super slow pace but it reminded me of why I did it! My incision is starting to fade a little and I'm only at three weeks...so I'm trying to stay positive and remember the ultimate goal. I also have three little kiddos all under five so I was a super active and busy mommy this surgery has slowed me down sooo much and depresses me on how I can't do anything with them...but I have to stay positive for them! I'm their rock and who they look up to so I can not let them down! This HAS to be worth it cause all this time I'm unable to carry them and cuddle them or even just as simply as bathe them HAS to be worth it!!!! Like you said you worked hard for everything you have and this is just something else you HAVE to work had for! I also lost 90lbs after my babies so I totally get on how hard and committed you have to be to accomplish that! Thumbs up to you!! I think the hardest part was looking in the mirror and not seeing instant results...I'm my head I knew it would be a slow healing process but after the surgery my eyes started to deceive me and all the pain made me forget that...but time is making me love myself again. Im great full I kept it in and avoided problems with my hubby cause now I see a small light at the end of this dark tunnel! Hang in there! Anyways I hope these words help a little but remember there is a target a goal and you must stay strong to get there!...just like a marathon! ;)

19 days PO, so almost 3 weeks and still really...

19 days PO, so almost 3 weeks and still really struggling physically to do even simple things like get up off the couch on my own. I can do it, but I still have to roll, rest, sit up, rest, then stand, rest, etc. More than anything right now I wish just getting off the couch wasn't still a chore. My second dream would be to just walk a little more upright. Still VERY, very hunched over. I don't feel any straighter than day 1 yet. Back still spasms every time I walk. And now I have nasty bed sores around my tail bone. My husband went back to work, so I've been on my own a few days, but my movement is still limited to hobbling to the bathroom and the kitchen. I'm awed and amazed that some people are driving and back to work at 3 weeks. My husband tried to convince me to get out of the house this weekend and tried taking me to a movie and it was a disaster. I made it to the building from the parking lot, but I was so hunched and tight by the time we got inside that I couldn't make it any further, started crying and he basically had to carry me back out to the car. It was quite a scene and I was so embarrassed. No way did I think I'd be this bad off physically at 3 weeks PO. Unsure if I will physically be able to start school next Monday as it will require driving, carrying a very heavy backpack, lots of walking, stairs, etc. Something has to change drastically this week. I have my 3 week post op appt on Thursday, so we'll see what he says.

I am still super swollen, none of my clothes are even close to fitting yet, so still in PJs and yoga pants with the waist band cut so they fit. Really no progress yet on the swelling. Had my husband dig for a pair of "fat" jeans in the garage that are 2 sizes bigger than I wore before surgery, but those won't even go over my thighs/hips either. Not sure what I would even wear to school next week if I could go. I don't have a single shirt that is baggy enough to hide the binder and I'm not up to going shopping (and don't really have the money either) I avoid taking off my binder at all, I still feel like I can't breath or stand or talk or anything when its off. It feels like my whole body is just collapsing even though I'm not moving. I read someone else say it feels like going down on a roller coaster, and that is exactly what it feels like, like the bottom is dropping out and you are falling, my stomach is in my throat. The sensation is horrible. I avoid mirrors, avoid showering (because my bathroom is ALL mirrors and I really, really just don't even want to see my body right now it disgusts me so much). I really, really want to do my hair. I haven't styled it or blow dryed it once since surgery and I wish I could soooo bad. I just want to feel human again. I've avoided this site because I can't stand to see all the amazing photos of people at my same stage who look incredible. Or see people who are driving and back at work. Even if they are struggling, they are doing it. I just couldn't. I'm also STARVING all the time, but very carefully counting my calories. Its pretty easy since its so difficult to get up and get to the kitchen and get food. My lack of mobility keeps me from overeating at least. I did step on the scale the other day and I am the exact same I was pre-surgery. So that's good I guess (I didn't need/want to lose any weight - figured the skin removed + boobs added would even out and I'd be about the same in the end)

Honestly at this point I don't even care that I look worse or that I hate my body now. I just want to be able to FUNCTiON. I don't even care if I am 100%. I don't even care if I can work out or run again. I just want to be able to drive, walk like a normal person, shower like a normal person, cook a meal, see a movie, go out to dinner, etc. I just want a little bit of life back.
For me, weeks 2 and 3 were just awful. I kept telling my husband that I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I told him that it didn't feel like my body and I didn't feel like I'd ever be myself again. I thought because I was fit that my recovery would be easier and that's just not the way it necessarily works. I'm just over 8 weeks now and yes, it did and does get better. I'm still struggling with swelling but that will get better too. Hang in there and know that you will feel like yourself again. Today's difficulties will soon be a memory. A few things I did - I laid flat on the floor and gently stretched and also tried to stand straight against a wall to encourage myself to stand straighter. I did need help getting off the floor. :) I had back spasms very badly and the doc called in a muscle relaxer which helped quite a bit. I'm pulling for you, hang in there, keep a positive outlook and you'll be feeling good in no time.
Sorry this has been so tough for you. First of all, I think you look great in your pictures. I know you don't think so or feel so. But from a complete stranger, you look amazing. I understand the need to get back to normal. The only way I got through the tough times (and parts of my days now) is to tell myself what's done is done, now just got to concentrate on moving forward. I had hoped that my fitness level (not crazy fit like you, but I ran a marathon in October) would help me progress faster, but it hasn't. I started setting baby goals. My doctor said walking would help me stand straighter and it was safe to start trying to be straighter. So my first goal was to walk around the mall once. Sound silly to an ultra marathoner. It sounded pathetic to me too. But I had to start somewhere. I went all hunched with my binder tight with elderly people passing me (totally humiliating), but I worked on just walking semi-normal and upright as I could (I know I didn't look normal bc kids/everyone looked at me like I was a freak). I definitely felt some pulling and tightness, but it loosened a little with the walking. Then the next day my goal was 2 laps around the mall. It stunk and was totally humbling, but it helped me to have little goals. I look forward to the day that I can go to Costco and buy my own freaking soy milk rather than have someone else do it since I can't lift something that heavy right now. Annoying. But this too shall pass. You are no stranger to challenges. This is your latest one. Good luck. Thinking of you.
Okay a compression garment helps with swelling and I am almost 30 days out and am hunched by the evening I was able to stand straight only 3 days ago. It felt good.... Plus you also had breast plus TT so longer recovery - keep taking a day at a time it will be over oon also everyone heals at a different pace so don't compare it isn't a competition.

Added 3 week pic to compare with before. Its very...

Added 3 week pic to compare with before. Its very painful to see. No change at all in swelling yet. Its not even lower in the morning. Have my 3 week post op appointment this morning. It happened yesterday, a friend insisted I get out of the house for coffee, and I ran into an old classmate and they asked "Oh my god, WHAT the heck happened to you? Are you okay?" then a big pause and "Oh WAIT, are you pregnant??!" That's never, ever happened to me before, Ironic the first time is after my tummy tuck. So in honor of her, my stomach is now being called my "baby bump". My husband keeps joking if they screwed up my surgery and did some kind of in vitro and impregnated me by mistake. Still not driving or able to shower on my own, still very hunched (as you can see in my 3 week pic, that's as absolutely straight as I can possibly stand)
I really didn't realize how much of an emotional journey this would be myself. You are only three weeks out. That isn't much time in the tummy tuck world, but ya know what I really think you look great, and I think as the next 5 months come and go, you will be happier. :)
I thought my incision was high until i began standing loser to straight. The skin stretching mainly happens between the BB and the incision. Once i got straighter, my incision got lower. You have o work at it a bit...force yourself straighter. Don't elevate both feet and head when asleep...start weening yourself down from that. It is going to be uncomfortable, but start forcing yourself.
"Closer to straight"... I hate the keyboard on my tablet!

I'm supposed to start my last semester of school...

I'm supposed to start my last semester of school tomorrow. I'm not doing ANY physically better than about day 5 or so. Still need help getting around. Still hunched horribly. Still can't dress myself, shower myself, drive, nothing. Swelling is still insane. It's never gone "down" at all, been like this since day 1. It's the same in the morning, same after resting, same no matter what I eat, time of day, activity level, etc. it doesn't fluctuate at all. I'm starting to think my surgeon f'ed up bad and did something horrible to me. Still at least 4 sizes BIGGER than before surgery. Was a size 1 or 2 and had a friend bring me some 8's of her's and they barely buttoned. If nothing changes by 6 weeks I am seeking a second opinion. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to handle school tomorrow. Class from 1pm to 10pm. Hour drive each way (and I as of yesterday I couldn't even get my car into gear without crying) carrying a heavy backpack up and down stairs. Today i couldnt even lift my own freaking coffee cup high enough to put it on the table. How am i going to do it? This was supposed to be last semester after 6 years. If I have to drop out I will have to wait a full year to go back due to my programs rules. I've ruined everything I've worked so hard to accomplish. I've ruined my career and ruined my body by doing this. I should have left well enough alone and been happy with my accomplishments and not been greedy for some "perfection" because it definitley back fired.
Dear runner, It breaks my heart to read what you're going through. It really really does. I do think it'll get better. Fwiw, I wasn't able to run or do "normal" things until 8 weeks p/o. Just please don't be so hard on yourself. Take a deep breath and let yourself heal. Seek the second opinion too, if it'll help ease your mind! Also, please make sure you're taking in ENOUGH calories. Your body needs them to heal. Xoxoxo !
Sorry to hear about your experience so far. I do hope it gets better. I have that small baby bump thing going on (I'm going on to 5 wks post op this week.) It's barely there in the morning but by evening, it is very evident. I think you look pretty terrific from your pics. Hope you get some sense of normalcy back ASAP.
I think it is really good that you are sharing your story. Before my surgery, I read all of the "Not Worth It" posts because I wanted to know exactly what I might face if things did not go well. I was very lucky to have an easy recovery, but there is value in reading about stories where things are not so smooth. I hope things have improved for you!

6 weeks post op today. I've been asked by many not...

6 weeks post op today. I've been asked by many not to post negative reviews or experiences but, I will not be bullied. I will continue to update this so that people can understand that there IS a possibility of a negative outcome. Is it the norm? No. But is is possible? Yes. Its a risk people should understand and I won't apologize for sharing it. So if you must comment to me that "You shouldn't be posting this" - know that its a waste of your time and I won't even read it.

No new pictures because I am still so unhappy with my results that there is just no point in even doing photos. I know I am no where near "final" results, but I have seen NO improvement in swelling at all yet. My doctor still says I have no seroma or anything that can be drained. I see him again at 8 weeks. I can't afford a second opinion right now as the two surgeons I called wanted to charge. I posted a question here and most of the docs immediately said I should be evaluated for a seroma and you could tell they didn't think what I was experiencing was "normal". But I still have no real answers as to exactly what is going on. I am still 3 sizes larger than before surgery. I had to buy all new pants. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried and cried while I was checking out. I packed away all my usual clothes so I wouldn't have to look at them every time I get dressed. I'm trying to move on and accept this new body, as much as I hate it. I'm trying to "relearn" how to dress. The young, hip styles I used to wear just don't work on me now. I'm buying baggier shirts, no more belts, no more skinny jeans, etc. Its funny to see how most people here get to do the opposite. Its tough because I am avoiding invitations to go out and do things because I just hate my clothes so much. Driving and carrying my 30+lb backpack all over campus are the worst. Days I don't have to do those things I feel fine. I am about 90% upright. I CAN get upright, but it burns very badly just under my boobs (i guess the top of my muscle repair) if I go all the way, so I still round my shoulders. And after carrying my backpack all day I am fully hunched. My scar is going through a nasty stage. Very thick, purple and dark right now. There is SO much tension on it from all the swelling. It always looks like its going to burst. My public hair line above the waist of my jeans. Going to look into laser hair removal I guess. Focusing on school right now, trying to get through the grief process with with surgery. I'm past denial and anger...I shift between depression and acceptance on any given day. I still wake up every morning and wish I could have MY body back (flaws and all, because they were MY flaws) but I really am trying to learn how to function anyways, as hard as it is. I'm not cleared to exercise yet, hopefully by 8 weeks. Then I will have to go buy all new, larger sized workout clothes. Sigh.
Who is telling you not to post negative feedback? That is crazy, all feedback is important so others can see all possibilities! I am so sorry for your situation. I am very confused by your doc's explanation of diastasis (muscle separation). I am 5'3' and weighed 132 going into surgery. If you look at my pics you will see what MR usually looks like. I had a 4" separation and seriously looked 6 months preggers. I too have been disappointed with my results. I am now a full year out and while I did have improvement, I still am no where near flat as the doc had said I could expect to be. I weigh 125 now and while that is a little high for my height it is not overweight by most standards. I went from looking 6 months preggers to looking 2 months preggers. I will never be able to wear a tank top again. Anything form fitting just emphasizes the bulge. I have a dog ear that needs repair and the same PS is going to fix it for a fee, although it is a small fee. I am not a bikini kind of girl but I almost have to wear one b/c a one piece draws attention to my bulging stomach. I was depressed over this whole mess for some time. I have finally moved on but I so understand your sadness. For you it is worse b/c you were flat and now are not. I really think you have some swelling going on..something has to be going on b/c it makes no sense to be larger after the fact. Please try to limit the lifting of heavy things like your backpack and try to get a second opinion. Also, although hard, hang on to hope. Kimmers said she had swelling on and off for like 7 months I think. I will keep you in my thoughts. Best wishes.
Sorry you are having such a rough time :-(. Stay positive and just know once you do get back to working out you'll have that same drive to achieve what you want because its that drive that is making you so upset right now. You want yourself back. You want to work out and you'll get there. I wish you well and hope soon you will "turn the corner" for the better. Don't ever let anyone bully you. Not people on here or your husband. You deserve better. Best of luck.
First of all... Please stop being so hard on yourself...u have not done anything different than most of us women do. It is hard...especially in today's society to be happy with what we have. I struggle with your same issues pre-surgery that's why I came to this forum. Honestly I was so happy to find ur post...if you look at my profile, I like you am perfectly happy in my clothes....size 0 jeans...very petite 5'3" 108 lbs. So why am I not happy with myself? Maybe I need to look inward inside myself instead of looking at my tiny roll of skin. I, like you, take a lot of refuge in my exercise routine and to think of being out of commission for that long is plain scary! It's a proven fact that exercise is the best anti depressant. I am now...after reading your post reanalyzing why I would put my body through something I don't necessarily need. I get that the surgery is awesome and amazing for a lot of women with much more skin and a lot more to gain from the surgery but for people like you and I... Maybe we need to accept our little flaws and quit striving for unattainable perfection. Just a thought! You absolutely looked great before and had we met I would've told you to love your rockin self ;) I am sure you will be amazing again. You are an athlete and you will return to your former glory, I am sure of it. Hang in there....try and be optimistic...it will get better. You have inspired me to take a 2nd look at myself and not be so critical. You do the same for yourself too :)...please keep me posted! Again...I can't thank you enough for you brutally honest story....I commend you!

So finally after 8 weeks, some noticeable...

So finally after 8 weeks, some noticeable improvement. It took that long for me to see anything at all that I liked.

So last thursday was my 8 week post op appt. Up until that day, I was still extremely swollen and pretty unhappy. I was all prepared to go in and take out 8 weeks of frustration on my surgeon and complain about everything. I really was going to let him have it lol. Well, I woke up THAT morning looking different. Seriously. Its like when your car is making a noise and you take it to the mechanic and the noise stops? That's exactly what happened. I went into my appt kind of in shock, because honestly, there wasn't much to complain about. I was still swollen, sure, but it was a drastic change from the day before. So he said everything looked good, swelling should continue to come down over the next couple months, took some early "after" pics, made my 6 month post op appt, and sent me on my way (I was still kind of dumbfounded and shocked, don't think I muttered 10 words the whole appt!)

So in the last few days, things have been consistently improving every day. I am almost fitting into my pre-op jeans...which is a HUGE thing for me. I still have a bit of a "muffin" over the sides, but its way better. My scar has also dropped about 1 full inch. My pubic hair line is still way higher than I'd like, but it is NOT above the waist of my jeans anymore. That alone is the best news in all this. No pubic hair poking out of my jeans! And its now low enough to be covered by running shorts too. It also fits under the bikini bottoms that have the higher cut leg openings.

But the BEST news, I decided to try a run yesterday - went pretty well for the first time. Did 4 miles, I'd say about 40-50% jogging. I'd jog until things felt sore in the abs, then walk it out, then jog again. I didn't actually time it, just listened to my body, so not sure exactly how much jogging, but at one point I know I did a full .5 mile before I walked. I felt the most "loose" I have since surgery, and after the run I could finally stand 100% straight. Like really straight. Actually, I was so loose I could even stick my butt out and get an arch/curve in my back for the first time. I did swell up later that night, but this morning my swelling was the lowest its been ever. I can actually see my ribs and hip bones again.

I'm not sure what changed, just time I guess. I stopped wearing ALL compression stuff about 10 days ago and felt soooo much better after that physically. I had tried many brands and types (prob spent at least $1000), all of it pinched and buckled in, gave me burning nerve pain in my back and made me feel more swollen (like it was "trapping" the swelling below my waist, that's where they all buckled and dug in) The first couple days without were weird, getting sensation back to the skin and feeling regular clothes against it, but now it feels fine. Didn't even wear anything at all when I ran and it was fine. I little weird with the vibration of bouncing up and down, but got used to it. So maybe that stuff was hurting me more than helping, who knows.

I will post some new pics this week, I have a huge exam coming up, so I should even be writing this...but I wanted to update for those who have been so supportive and sympathetic over the last few weeks. Honestly, I still don't think this was all "worth it" as the last 8 weeks were physical and emotional hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I do feel that even if the way I looked this morning was my final result, I could live with it.
I think you look amazing! I will tell you...i think the cg has a lot to do with it! I only had to wear mine two weeks, and when i stopped, while the first two days sucked with swelling and odd feeling, it was sooooooooo much better after! I, too, am about to hit 8 weeks and i have noticed a dramatic difference in sweling! I started walking on my treadmill at 5ish weeks, and just started back run/walking this week. Feels so good to run again doesn't it? I'm so glad you're feeling better about this. You really do look incredible!
I know some people love their cg's but I think it hurt me more than helped, especially because none I tried fit right.
Oh, I am so happy for you!!! It was just swelling and I am sure you will get even flatter! Everything looks drastically better :) hang in there as I am sure your results will continue to improve.

Got a horrible cold that has been going around....

Got a horrible cold that has been going around. Just like that first 24 hrs after surgery...coughing is killing me! Well, no, it's not as painful as that first day, but it's still tough. I have to keep a small travel pillow in my backpack and when a coughing fit hits I run out of class and kneel down bracing my abs with the pillow. It still feels like ripping, but not the "explosive" ripping I felt those first few days, this is more like just muscle pulling and burning. And dont even get me started on the sneezing. Even worse. And they come in rounds of 4 or 5 sneezes. So it means the swelling is back FULL FORCE! Totally round and huge again. I really think this coughing thing has been the root of a lot of my issues, it caused extra trauma after surgery that took longer to heal, and now it's setting me back again. I can't take any "good" cough meds (like with codeine) since I have class and I have to drive. Hanging in there, the swellIng went down once and I guess it will again, but working out is on hold yet again until I am better. Really starting to worry about putting on weight without working out, and it's tough to eat perfect when you are super busy AND sick.

Main take away point: Coughing is evil!
Sorry you have that horrible cough get better soon. You look great.
Sorry about the cough, I just hope I don't get the cold my crew has. You look so much better in you last pictures, and you are back to running!
you look awesome! I really like your belly button, was there anything done to it? mine still looks big, I'm hoping once the scaring fades it will look a lot smaller. Thanks for the updated pics, slowly but surely, you're results are looking better.

In some ways its great to be 10 weeks post op, in...

In some ways its great to be 10 weeks post op, in other ways, it makes me sad.

I am still mourning the excitement of pre-op. The hope. The anticipation. The fantasies of what I was going to look like. The expectation of looking in the mirror and being thrilled with what I see. I used to stand in front of the mirror and pull all the skin tight and think "this is what you are going to look like soon". But that's not what I look like. When I pulled the skin tight, I was flat (actually, I was concave) So instead of being a process of joy and discovering the fun of a new body...my process has been learning to accept an unsatisfactory results while still going through the tough physical recovery process.

I've made huge progress on my recovery for sure, but at 10 weeks out I'd say I am physically functioning at about 50-60% of "normal". I am still sore every day, which turns to pain by the end of a 15-17 hour day. Mostly back pain, since while I can technically stand upright, I can't do it for long, by the end of the day I am still back to hunched and the back pain starts. I also have a lot of nerve pain in my abs, it comes and goes, stabbing and burning sensations. And I have very bad mid back nerve pain (like right at the top of my waist line, but circling around the back) I think its all related to posture through, I just can't seem to get my posture back.

Driving is finally a little easier though, I can finally twist my body fully to check my blind spot when I change lanes without wincing or feeling like I am ripping apart! This is huge because I had to do it probably 10x on any given day and it always made me sore. The clutch is getting easier, though my left abs are still sore after 60 min of clutch in, clutch out in traffic. At first I had to sometimes use my arm to literally lift behind my knee to get my foot up on the clutch, but thats tough because then I needed my right arm to shift...which left nothing on the steering wheel! Now I can lift my leg on its own. The vibrations are still tough to deal with, especially on some of the bad pot holed streets on my campus.

I am exhausted all the time still, I generally have time for about 4 hours sleep - which is normal for me for the last few years and I can usually handle, but its a lot harder now than it used to be. I risked it and took a day off because I was sick and slept for almost 18 hours straight. It was the first time I felt close to human since surgery. But that was 4 days ago, and back to my regular schedule now, so I feel like crap again. I really think if I could get 7 or so hours of sleep a night, I'd be a lot further along on my recovery. But that's just not possible.

While the swelling is way, way down, I am no where near "flat". The worst view is looking straight down, the bulge is very apparent. I hate even going to the rest room because I'm kind of forced to look down to get my pants off and on and then I see "it". The round ball. Sometimes I am tempted to get a sharpie and draw a circle around it and put a happy face on it :-) Its still completely numb though - no feeling at all between the belly button and the incision. I guess its still too soon, and while I am happier now than I was 5 weeks ago for sure...I don't know at what point to just give up the hope of ever being as flat as I was before or if I should keep waiting.

My incision actually looks really good, the scar is already starting to fade a bit. I even have one area (about a 1.5 inch strip) that is white.

So over all at this point, the positives are starting to outweigh the negatives a bit more...but this is so NOT where I thought I'd be at 10 weeks post op. I was hoping I'd be much more back to "normal".
I'm glad to see you are finally finding some things to feel good about. Looking at your pictures, I can't imagine how you can not love your new body. The pictures with the black bikini bottoms and the pink bikini are stunning. Comparing those pictures to your pre-op pics makes it hard for me to understand your discontentment. I notice you don't name your ps. I wonder if maybe you just weren't well enough informed about this procedure and had unrealistic expectations. Have patience. You're coming along beautifully!
The last pictures I am much happier with, and I agree that to many I look great compared to a lot of people, but its all relative. I don't feel like I look as good in clothes now as I did before. I don't feel skinny anymore. I don't feel sexy anymore. I feel bloated, puffy, numb and awkward because I still can't stand up right. If you look at my before pics, especially in the dress, I am still just not as flat as before surgery. My expectation was simply to look at least the same or better than I did. I guess maybe those are "unrealistic" expectations, but really, who goes into this paying 15K and all the pain expecting to look rounder after than before? No one. There is a reason they call it the "flat side". People expect flat, not round. Who goes into this expecting to have to STOP wearing skinny jeans and belts. Who thinks they are going to have to STOP tucking in their shirts? Who thinks they are going to have to go out and buy BIGGER size jeans? No one. Its not as bad as it was, and maybe it will continue to get better, but I still can't wear a lot of my cute pre-surgery clothes because they are very form fitting and require a flat stomach, which I had before, and currently don't have. So basically - the discontentment is how I look in clothes, my larger size now, the roundness I didn't have before, and the fact that I am still hunched and not back physically where I want.
Well said

Definitely had a big back slide on swelling. It's...

Definitely had a big back slide on swelling. It's back to where I was at 5 weeks. It's frustrating because I had a day that I felt GREAT (last Saturday) I wore pants I love with a tight top and felt "skinny" again for the first time since before surgery. But that's out the window now. I can't even look at my own pics from 2 weeks ago because they make me sad, I don't look like that anymore :( I guess swelling can come back, but now I'm worried this new change is actually weight I'm gaining. It's still painful to workout or run much, I'm trying, but the nerve pain in my back or abs cuts most workouts short. I also have a new issue - a lump/bulge above my belly button. I never had swelling up there before it was always lower. Not sure why it would start now. I dont think i pulled anything, at least i hope not. Its very tender though. Trying to stay positive through this back slide, but the "tease" of feeling really good for just one day is making it frustrating to be back here again.
I know you have had a rough recovery but I think you are looking great. I can totally see why you were disappointed. You were very tiny to begin with and I think the swelling just had no where to go but out because of your small frame. I'm 6 months out and still get swelling. I also understand you wanting to get it all out there and let people know its not all roses. I definitely am happy with my result but the surgery has changed my shape and I'm coming to accept it. I took a break from updating for a while when I was feeling down and it was good to go back and compare pics now to the beginning. Gave me some new perspective. I hope things continue to improve for you.
I know how you feel :( I am 9 week today & I am so swollen and I also have a swelling that is tender above my belly button to the right. I never had that before.... I can't wait to be "smaller" again.
it's all pretty normal even though it sucks when you go through it. Lots of things will cause swelling to reappear, from salty foods to over doing it because you felt great. The nerve pain, electrical sensations lasted for a long time for me. The lump might be scar tissue. I have a lump in same area and when I massage it for a few nights in goes away but comes back, i think mine is scar tissue. Hang in there, it can go back and forth for another month or so before things start to stay normal. Many had swelling for 7 months. Call your PS if concerned about the lump. Best wishes. :)

Hard to believe I am at 3.5 months post op now...

Hard to believe I am at 3.5 months post op now.

Things are still up and down. Its still 2 steps forward, one step back. But every step back isn't has far as the last one...so I guess that means forward progress. Just super, super slow. I was doing really great for about a week, then had a killer weekend (did a long run, then had a 14 hour field trip with hiking and carrying a backpack...was NOT ready for that but had to muscle through) It set me back again on swelling and exhaustion, but only for a couple days.

Overall though, I feel a hundred times better than I did just a few weeks ago. Still not 100% "normal", but much, much closer.

Energy is a lot better for sure. And I have been working out consistently now for 3 weeks. I'm doing 6x a week. I'm doing 3 days a week of 30min strength/30 min treadmill, then 3 days of just running. I'm up to doing 6 miles straight through now. My pace is actually pretty decent even. I have a long way to go, but I am 100% satisfied with fitness progress at this point. I now feel fully confident that I CAN get it back, and feel pretty confident I can do another marathon by the end of the year. I haven't tried to swim or bike yet. Soon though. There are some strength training stuff I can't do...any pull downs or pull up or push ups are too much on the abs. I don't have any issues with soreness in my abs when running though, sometimes they feel "tight" but its not painful. In fact, running seems to be what has loosened me up, and I can now stand fully straight 100% of the time. (It took until 12 weeks before I could say that) I also do not swell more after running...actually, I am my LEAST swollen right after a run. It feels like it really gets that fluid pumping out of there.

Sitting for long periods is actually my enemy when it comes to swelling. Sitting makes me swell more than activity does. Especially sitting and leaning forward (like driving or doing homework at a desk/table)

I'm getting a lot of feeling back, my skin feels burning, prickly, tingly, itchy most of the time. Its just minorly annoying.

I'm mostly back in my pre-op clothes now. Pants and such. Tight dresses, no. I still have too much fullness/pooch sticking out right between my hip bones for that. But we'll see. I can finally see my hip bones again, and my stomach is concave again when lying down on my back. So maybe soon.

The pic I posted is a comparison of 5 weeks and 12 weeks...the 12 week pic is RIGHT after a run when my swelling is at its lowest. You can see the HUGE difference.
You look great! So glad things are finally going well for you. Your belly button looks freaking awesome! Running has helped me stretch out too. Hope things keep looking up for you.
Thanks! Hope things are going well for you too!
So glad to hear you are doing better. You look amazing!!!

So...for those who have read my story, you know...

So...for those who have read my story, you know that my husband and I aren't planning on staying together much longer. We'll separate as soon as I can financially support myself (hopefully by the end of this year).

While things are definitely improving with my body, I am VERY nervous about my scar and explaining things when someday I am able to start dating again. My husband and I have had NO physical relationship for about 2 years (no sex, no cuddling, no kissing...well, we probably haven't kissed in 10 years, he hates it...not even a quick hug here and there) All HIS choice, definitely NOT mine, I could only try to seduce him and get turned down and pushed away and hear "I'm tired" so many times before I just gave up. So, yeah, I admit, I am anxious to date again. But I know I am going to be super self conscious because its 1) its been soooo long and I don't even remember how my girl parts work, 2) I haven't been with anyone else in over 15 years, 3) I now have this giant SCAR to explain. Granted, I would have been self conscious of the sagging skin too...but I feel like that, while it certainly might have turned off a lot of men, it has a more obvious and understandable explanation: I've had kids. The scar, I don't know what to say. I guess the truth, but then I worry about being judged or freaking someone out. I know it will fade considerably, but right now it is SO dark (almost a blackish purple) its hard to imagine it ever being unnoticeable. And the unnaturally high pubic hairline I have now is also kind of odd. I've been shaving from right under my scar down to where my hairline used to be, but unless I shave it everyday, it still just looks like I have pubic hair growing out of my stomach. I know most people here are married, but if there are any single women who have dated after their tummy tuck, how did you handle it? Has it ever been an issue for a guy?
Thanks for your honesty!!! I had my mommy make over the day before you and still dealing with the swelling, doubts and frustrations. I'm really happy with the boobs and only got 350cc, so look bigger but not huge. They've finally dropped and fluffed and look natural. The tummy is another story. The positive--the belly button looks like my old one, small cute inny, and the scar is short and low and looks ok (i massage with vitamin e and cocoa butter). Unlike you I'm not an excerciser and suppose I was looking for a quicker way to get a flat stomach--but I've yet to see one! Even 1st thing in the a.m. I am the flatest but still not completely flat and the side profile is still huge and by 4pm I look 3-4mths preggers--and I've developed dog ears, that my PS did lipo 4 weeks ago, but one side is back and the other is coming. So of course that's only made the swelling worse and I'll have to have the scar extended in 6 weeks... I'm still numb, itchy, itchy, itchy, and fit better in my old clothes, but haven't really gone down many inches. Part of me feels I shouldn't complain cause I wanted the easier path, they had a huge amount of fat to remove and I did lose the paunch. I just don't feel I look 15K better. So, I can only imagine how you feel and your frustration, cause your body looked amazeballs before and you worked freaking hard for it and only needed minor tweaking... That being said your 12 week pic does look great--but probably cause you're putting in the work! So, I'm going to get my lazy ass moving, cause the difference in your 5-12 weeks pic is major. I'm single too, haven't figured out either how I'm going to handle that conversation...but I have guy friends who have supported me along the way-and I've shared my "progress"-and to summarize their views they really don't care what a woman does as long she doesn't look freakish, and the actions don't stop her from being freakish in bed. I know its hard, but try and stay positive!
Sandy, I just posted on your review but holy smokes your transformation was fantastic! Totally worth the 15k! You look great. Thank you for sharing your story and pictures.
I wish I was happy with the boobs. I got window shading (muscle has slid up over the implant.) So they have a big crease in them and definitely do NOT look natural. Another conversation I guess I will have to have when I start dating. I'm sorry your are dealing with frustrations too. Its tough when we put so much energy, money and pain into something and it doesn't come out positive.

Today is 16 weeks. While yes, I have improved from...

Today is 16 weeks. While yes, I have improved from where I was, I am STILL not on the "flat side" with everyone else. I am starting to face that its not a matter of "having patience" or "waiting it out" anymore. Something HAD to have gone wrong...either he pulled me too tight, something popped or was damaged when I had all that coughing, I did have a deep seroma that was never treated and now have scar tissue causing the bulge...something had to have happened to end up with this pooch.

Photo I posed is a before and 16 weeks, same exact dress. The before is on the LEFT. Again, before is on the LEFT. The one where I am FLAT. The one with the baby bump pooch is the AFTER. You can even see the ridge of my scar through the dress (its the small protrusion that looks like an outtie belly button) I had secretly keep hoping that I could wear that dress by now. Tomorrow is a big day for me in my personal life and I had hoped I could celebrate 4 months post op by being back to rocking that dress tomorrow night, but no dice. I am going to have to go tomorrow and buy something new, a flowy dress that hides the belly.

So here's the deal: People come here and choose to have this surgery because of very similar reason...they feel that their body doesn't represent how hard they have worked with diet and exercise, they have a "pooch" that no matter what they do they can't get rid of, they want to feel sexy and get confidence back, they want to wear certain style clothes with no muffin top (skinny jeans, belts, tuck in their shirts), etc. I had all those things pre-op. All those things that you guys get so excited about AFTER surgery. All those things you all have so much FUN with post op. And don't deny you don't like them. I see how happy people are to LOOK better. I see how much more confidence people here get BASED ON THEIR LOOKS. Everyone here is guilty of putting at least SOME importance on their external appearance. I am currently WHERE YOU ALL WERE PRE OP. I am in the place with my body that you guys disliked enough that you chose to have surgery. Yet, I am getting put down for disliking my situation. My frustrations right now: I have a lower belly pooch that is resistant to any of my diet/exercise efforts, I can't wear the style clothes I like, I have muffin top in all my favorite jeans, and I feel my body doesn't reflect the fact that I work out 6 days a week, eat clean 100% of the time, weight 107 lbs and have 17.2% body fat. Any of those comments sound familiar? Most of you said all those things PRE OP. And NONE OF YOU were happy enough to chose to STAY in that situation. You wanted to change it. So why am I supposed to just accept it? No one here who has had a tt accepted the things I am experiencing now. I'll say it again: no one here learned to accept those things. Why tell me that I should get over it? That makes no more sense than telling people here who are pre-op that they should "get over it" and "focus on the inside" by not having the surgery. But no one says that to them. You encourage them to do it so they can have that FLAT belly which will give them more confidence and fun in their clothes. Why don't I deserve to want that too? Why am I supposed to be content without that?
I'm sorry that you are going through all of this stress post op. my doctor recommended that I wear the binder for about 16 weeks 24 hrs a day. I hated wearing it but got used to it. Maybe your binder is too tight? I think 16 wks is to soon to see final results. Not sure why your ps said you will see full results in 5 months, it can take up to a year for your body to heal and for you to see your final results. I had my surgery 8 months ago and I still have days with some minor swelling. I gained almost 12 lbs after surgery and I have lost most but I still don't fit into my pre op jeans. Hopefully before the one year mark your belly will be flat as a board. Have you tried to find a doctor that does free consultations? I empathize with you because anyone that has sx is expecting a great result and should have one
I could never find a binder or cg that fit right. I have a very wide rib cage and broad back (way wider than my hips) so anything that compressed at all around my tummy pinched around the ribs...BAD. I had major, major upper/mid back nerve pain. To the point I could barely walk. My dr only recommends it for ) weeks though. At 6 weeks I tossed all that stuff and saw a huge decrease in my swelling. I feel like it was holding it all down there. So it's been months since I wore anything, and I'm thankful for that. I could never have stood working out in one and I at least felt more "human" without it.
I am so sorry for your grief. I remember it well with my own tt and it is a hard pill to swallow. Time is your only friend. I think you will continue to see improvements. So many people have discussed not seeing their final result until almost a full year. Something that did help me in the midst of my disappointment was taking a break from this site. It's only natural to compare ourselves and our recovery to everyone else's and it can really bring you down. Try stepping away for awhile and focus on postive things and healing. You still have a ways to go. It's too bad that you said you had comments from some people telling you to get over it. I understand your frustration and again, having been there, time is your best friend in this journey. Best wishes.

Tomorrow will be 19 weeks, so almost at 5 months...

Tomorrow will be 19 weeks, so almost at 5 months post op. No real change since my last photos. No real change since about 12 weeks. Still not happy with my results, still have a pooch/roundness between my belly button and incision that I didn't have before surgery. Its about grapefruit size now (it went from watermelon, to basketball, to grapefruit) Its a lot softer and not numb anymore, it used to be hard and tingly. At this point, I feel like the majority of swelling should be gone, so while I know its not "final" final results, I'm resigned that this is (unfortunately) the shape of my body now. I know everyone else thinks I look fine, but bottom line is I don't like it. I want to be flat again like I was before surgery (the same flatness that brings everyone here), but I that won't happen. I'm supposed to have another post-op appt next week, honestly I don't even think I'm going to go. I really don't want to ever see my surgeon again, I'm so mad, frustrated and disappointed. My boobs are pretty bad off too, I developed "window shading" - so they have these weird creases/bulges where my muscle is pulling up over the implant. Its not as bad as some cases I've seen online, but its definitely weird/not natural looking. NO money to deal with that right now, but maybe some day I can at least get those fixed.

On the plus side, my fitness is coming back great. I ran over 100 miles for April. I'm down to 15.5% body fat, lowest I have ever been (so the pooch is NOT weight gain) Its bittersweet though, to be at my lowest weight and still not able to wear the clothes I like. I know many of you can relate to that feeling from pre-op. Working your ass off but still not able to change the shape of your body. That's where I'm at now. I keep trying to lose more weight to compensate for the bulge so maybe I can fit into all my pre-op clothes, but it doesn't help. Whatever happened to my body is out of my control. I can't fix the bulge with hard work (how many people said those same words pre-op? I'm saying them post op, after spending the money and after surviving the pain of recovery). I'd still say I can only fit into about 80% of my pre-op pants and will probably never wear a tight, fitted dress again.

Thanks for all the understanding and supportive...

Thanks for all the understanding and supportive comments. I don't have time to respond to them all now, but I appreciate that some of you "get" what I'm going through.

Added a swelling comparison photo (at 5 months-ish...

Added a swelling comparison photo (at 5 months-ish post op) of first thing when I wake up in the morning at 5am to one when I get home from school at 10pm. Its crazy what the human body does. I don't even feel like the same person by the end of the day (and I don't look like the same person either!)
Even though your experience was a tough one, we thank-you for your honesty and insight in having this procedure. You are an amazing woman, having lost all that weight, taking up marathons (wow!), NOT regaining back all that weight (double wow!!). And furthering your education on top of being a mom. (triple wow!!!) Going through this without the emotional and physical support (i.e. your husband) would slow down healing. Stress slows down healing. You just have to remind yourself of the amazing things you have accomplished, stay positive, and remember you are still beautiful. (at least all of us here are trying to tell you that!) Everyone is right about Mr. Right. He will understand your story, and you do not have to explain a thing or make any excuses to him. You made a decision; it didn't go according to plan, but you are alive, healthy, smart, and have many more qualities that the rest of us don't know about. We are all hoping you do a one year update, because now that your story is here, we are all compelled by it, and would love to know the rest of your journey. Please do keep us posted. Thank-you. :)
Awww, thank you so much. You really made me smile! I will keep updating. I've wanted this to be an honest review, good and bad. Believe me, I hope there is a happy ending I get o share eventually!
Hi sweetheart, I feel so close to your story. What has happened to you is exactly what keeps me away from deciding to go under the knife. I really hope one day soon you will feel great about your body again, about all of it, I know you will feel great with what you can do with your body because you can and do push it a lot, I'm the same and giving it up would be very hard. Best. Ah, one thing, on men, they don't care... they are so glad they are bedding you that they will believe whatever you tell them, so if you tell them it was your c-section they will go for it and find it endearing...

Added a pic in the same bikini from 8 weeks post...

Added a pic in the same bikini from 8 weeks post op to 19 weeks. Pretty dramatic difference in swelling and a big difference in body shape. I've also lost ~3% body fat between those pictures though. (was ~17% pre-op, got up to ~19% at 8 weeks post op due to not exercising during recovery, down to 16% now)
I can't offer any expertise on the surgery but I can, I think, help with your dating issue. You are so attractive, how many women at 35 have the body of someone in their early twenties? Especially after that truly inspiring weight loss, maintaining the loss and having kids! Trust me on this, any guy you go to bed with will be feeling so grateful you want to have sex with him, you could have purple polka dots for all he'll care!! My hub always says that single guys think about two things, how to get a woman to have sex with them, and how to get her to keep having sex with them :) it's easy for me to say, but you've had a tough time with your husband (his problems not yours!!!) and you will be understandably nervous about dating. They wouldn't have cared about the excess skin and they won't care you have a scar, so take that out of the equation and don't worry about it. As far as a bad result goes, only you can decide what you feel about that, but believe me; those guys will be forming a queue to show you what you've been missing. All the best to you!
Thanks. It's still so hard for me to see it that way!
I love reading your review and updates as I feel I am experiencing some of the same issues as you are with the swelling. What keeps me going is seeing your week 5 pic to your week 12 week pic. I think at week 8 you really turned a corner. I am counting the days down! lol. You latest pictures is OMG! Your hard work is paying off and I can't wait to start exercising again. I am finally starting to eat better (went on a little bing bender right after surgery as I just needed comfort food lol). I am starting to walk and get around MUCH better. :) Thank you so much for your updates. xoxoxo

Went to my 5 month post op appointment today...

Went to my 5 month post op appointment today.

Nothing too exciting. Told him again that I am frustrated with the swelling/roundness. Asked possible causes. He is still 100% sure its just swelling that is being stubborn. He said his skinniest patients NOTICE the swelling the longest. He said I really don't have that much, I am just so, so tiny that any little bit is very noticeable. He said someone even just 10lbs heavier than me probably wouldn't even notice the amount of swelling I have, yet with such low body fat, its very obvious. I don't know. I mean, that makes sense to a certain extent, but I have seen other people here who are also very fit and they don't have a such a round bulge still at 5 months (most of them never have the roundness I have). So,
Don't know if this will help any... But I am 7 months po nd yesterday alone... I cleaned house nd blew up like a blimp... It was horrible... Lately I've been cleaning 1 room a day... Nd yesterday I cleans the majority of my house and that did it... Blimp city!... I feel your pain girl... Nd I ain't that skinny either... Lol. Hopefully you get better with time.... It seems like that is all we have.
Thanks, hopefully time will help. It already seems like its been so long, and the improvement so slow. But I guess that's just how it is. Hope your swelling is a thing of the past soon too!
I'm so glad to hear that you went to your 5 month post op, I think you would have regretted not going. I get what he's saying, and I get what you say about other people's results. However, I have not seen results on this site for someone with body fat as low as yours, and I have read a TON of reviews as I consider having surgery. So I think I see his point and would agree with him. There are a lot of fit people, but not fit like you. As far as the BA, I would be very nervous about anything above the muscle just because it makes it harder to detect breast cancer on a mammogram (just went through all that stuff recently, you can check my profile). Can he reposition the implant under the muscle to improve it? Just a thought. Hope you are doing well, you really do look amazing. I am not the type of person to say it just to say it. I'm very direct (that's the nice way of saying it when my husband tells me to my face. Lol) Happy healing, and I wish you the best in your personal life as well. You have been in my thoughts and prayers although I don't know your name.

5 month post op appointment

Just testing...trying to see if it will let me update

Some pics of the BA issues...

Here's some pics of the breasts. One is where I am flexing and that is when you can most dramatically see how the muscle has pulled up. The other one I'm not flexing, you can still see the shadow of the crease along the bottom of the breasts, but its not nearly as dramatic. They definitely also have some asymmetry issues, one is a bit larger and higher. This was kind of expected. I had MAJOR asymmetry issues going into surgery and he told me that it was tough to correct those fully. The last pic is in a bra, they still look pretty good like that ;-) Very torn on how much this issue bothers me. The last thing I want to do is another surgery. And I don't like the idea of putting the implants above the muscle. But then again, I really don't like the crease either. So, just thinking about it.
Have you asked your PS if that breast "bottomed out"? that's the term I have heard used to explain the crease you have. If I were out dating, I would rather have the tt scar than the loose skin. The scar will fade. Hang in there, you still have swelling. I am sorry you are having breast issues too. You probably don't want to hear this, but it would probably be unacceptable to me...I think he botched the job and needs to re-do it. :( BUT....do not feel pressured to go under again. If you are ok with it then that is also just fine, very few people are going to see your boobs! ;)
This is a good video that explains the issue I have, which is a bit different than bottoming out: http://youtu.be/ZMoQPV1al3Q I just think going over the muscle has potential to look even worse.
And actually, that implants sits much higher than the other, so I definitely don't think it bottomed out.

5.5 months post op (22 weeks today)...feeling the flattest I have been so far

Today is 22 weeks. The last 3-4 days I have felt the flattest that I have felt since before surgery. I definitely don't feel as "swollen" (almost none of that really heavy, tingly feeling left). I still have a slight roundness, but I can finally start to contract my lower ab muscles a bit (I've been working REALLY hard to try and find my ab muscles again, get some control of them and actually tighten them again), and when I do that, I'm almost flat. And I can't post details here, but some pretty good things have been happening in my personal life as well.
I Am so glad that things are getting better for you... Seems like if I want to clean he house I get swell hell still : ( Not fun... But I guess it shows I've been a lazy ass doing one room at a time... Lol. But anywho... The BA issue, no one is ever perfect... They almost never match... But I would be concerned with the crease too... I'm not to happy with my BB... But didn't get to make it in for my 6 mos post op... : ( Hubby mixed up the time of the appt nd woke me up too late. So now I have to reschedule. Keep us update!!!!!
I have to say that one thing I am glad of, activity does not make me swell worse. I ran 10 miles last weekend and was less swollen after than before. Was at the beach all day Monday playing frisbee and running around in the water and came home less swollen too. Sitting around is what makes me swell, which I guess is good since my personality is so go-go-go. Still so undecided how I feel about the crease....and some days it looks better than others. It constantly changes.
Hey runner! My theory on swelling.... more activity= less swelling because you lose more fluids. Before my long runs I would weigh myself and would lose 2-3 lbs or more!

Forgot to add and update on workouts

In the last week I also start back to swimming and cycling. I was pretty nervous about the swimming - as swimmers know, form and breathing are everything in swimming, and you use your abs a lot to maintain proper body position and you do a lot of twisting doing freestyle. I was also worried about breathing because I still feel constricted when I take a deep breath. But it went perfectly fine. I was worried about the sitting/bending in half position on my bike, and it did make me swell a bit from the bending at the hip for a long period of time (I rode for an hour) it wasn't painful and I was able to balance, stretch out to get on and off, etc.
I agree! I'm glad to read a story I can relate to!!! I hate sounding ungrateful, but I'm soooo sick of this healing and feeling like I'm going backwards! I was so much flatter before this dumb surgery... Maybe my expectations were too high? I will always strive for perfection, and I think i will always struggle with my decision to have this done to my body. Thank you for sharing ur story! The good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm happy to hear u have something exciting going on in the personal life :0) I look forward to hearing more from ur journey (((hugs)))
Hang in there! I didn't get a chance to read your whole review, but from the pics I can see similar issues with the swelling, especially above the scar! It really took just sooooo much longer for me to see any improvement, but I'll be at 6 months in a couple days and I feel like I am finally okay with things. I don't think the roller coaster ride of the last 6 months was "worth it" but I feel okay with my body again. But even at 6 months I STILL have definite swelling that I can feel. So its just a long road.
I'm so happy to see someone else is having a hellish, long, unexpected recovery like me. I'm not glad you're having to go through it but just glad to see that I'm not the only one. I still can't decide if it was worth it or not because I was doing 3 days per week of kickboxing and running on the other days before all of this and now I'm still too tired and cramping up to get groceries and cook. I have a lot of body fat but my stomach was more concave before surgery too. I'm happy to see that you're still having improvements after 5 months. Maybe I just need to be more patient.

6 MONTHS!! Hard to believe!

I'm going to give a "real" update, I have been nervous to post too much because I am so afraid someone will see/read it that knows me. But I am just going to do it, everyone here following me deserves an update and I've decided to just be upfront about my surgery in real life (if/when it comes up)...

The pic I'm posting was about 2 weeks ago at the beach. Felt pretty good. I still have a few stretch marks that are visible, but I don't really care. And the scar around my belly button is pretty obvious (to me) Its basically a dark ring right around it. Not sure what other people think it is, I was self conscious of it for awhile, but I don't really care anymore. I still don't feel 100% "flat", my body has a different shape than I did before and its not what I expected, and I feel like I STILL have some very minor swelling, but a lot of my old clothes are actually TOO BIG now. Its crazy how that all changed really in the last month.

Lets's see, the overview:

1. I graduated with my BS. Magna cum laude, highest GPA in my major. Working on grad school applications now.
2. Running/fitness going great - up to doing 12 mile long runs, about 35 miles/week. My pace is faster than ever. Back to swimming and biking as well. Just barely starting ab work. That's been tough. My abs still feel so weak and they hurt pretty bad if I do any isolated stuff. So taking it REALLY slow.
4. I've been running in my sports bra and running shorts pretty regularly. I only really worry about the belly button scar. At first I felt like everyone was staring at it and "knew". But I'm over worrying about that.
3. The husband and I separated. Nothing final yet, so its been up and down. I've been spending time with someone...we'd been friends for awhile through school (so yes, he's younger than me...not to mention ridiculously hot!) Things have gotten physical and he was NOT scared off by my scars :-) Not sure where or what will happen with it, we're both in these weird transitional stages in our life, so just enjoying his company and having fun right now.
4. Pretty sure I am leaving the boobs like they are. Definitely got that vote from the guy who has seen them ;)
Good for you !! enjoy your new life..you deserve it!!
I am so happy to hear that things are looking up for you both physically and emotionally. You seemed so sad a few months ago and when I read your update I got a huge smile. You seem like a sweet person and I'm glad you are finding happiness.
Thanks for your story,, but mine,8 yrs later, is also a very disappointment but it consists of pain and not able to wear under garments or jeans only dresses..I wish i would of heard the Risks and negative views before i ever did this , I have regreted it from the start.The doctors just say things like,I have never had anyone with my problems before and just make me think im the only one suffering with this! i think more people schould speak up ,So everyone doesnt take this life changing surgery so Cosmetic...

8 Month Update

Since my last update...personal life took a nose dive again. I'm feeling better now, but the "great" guy that I got involved with dumped me for someone else. It was tough. Haven't gone through that since high school. It was especially hard because you all knew how tough it was for me let go, and feel comfortable being intimate with anyone. So I trusted him, a lot, to even consider it. Anyways...it obviously wasn't meant to be.

But in the aftermath, I admit I got a little depressed. Stopped working out for a few weeks, wasn't eating great, put on a few pounds. I've been back on track for about a week, but my weight is not where I want it. No one else notices, but *I* can see the difference. Working on it though.

Tummy tuck stuff...I'd say swelling is 95-99% gone. Some days, after a long day or a harder ab workout, I can feel it come back and get that "full" and tingly feeling. It doesn't hurt to sneeze or cough anymore. It still BURNS when I do, but its not "pain" or a ripping feeling. I can finally do some ab work, a few crunches at a time, but it starts getting that ripping feeling pretty quick. Just doing a little more each time. Planks, push ups, pull ups, etc are still VERY uncomfortable in the abs.

I don't have any new pics, things look about the same except I got a large rib/side piece tattoo since my last pics. It goes from my scar at my hip up to my bra line. I love it, but getting it worked on was interesting because some areas more towards the front and approaching my ab muscles are still numb and it was odd.

The only thing at this point I really hate is my scar. It's VERY dark, it's actually a brown color in some places. If you look close, basically it's white in the middle, surrounded by a brown outline all along the top and bottom. I've never seen one like it and not sure how or why it's got that brown "halo". The scars on my boobs are basically not visible anymore.
Well you lose some, you win some. Good luck!
You look great! Planks, etc. are still difficult for me.
Well sounds like you've come a long way since the begining. You look fab and a few pounds won't hurt you since your so thin. Sorry about the ahole bf. I'm still quite swollen and numb and my ps was like wow you are going to take the full year to heal. So happy to hear its normal for some people. Planks etc still hurt me too. He said the slower healing and still swelling can be related to hard work outs. Fine with me. Stay strong!

Almost one year

Hard to believe its been almost a full year...

On the physical side: I don't feel like I have any swelling anymore. I am still very unhappy with the appearance of my scar, its very dark and I just hate it. I cringe when I look in the mirror at it (yes, I cringed before surgery at the skin..so its just an even trade off there) I still have no actual feeling if I touch my abs or skin around my abdomen. I still have burning pain if I move in certain positions. Still have pain in my abs if I try to lay on my stomach. But otherwise I don't feel limited in any way. I feel like my skin is a bit looser again, it definitely wrinkles and creases when I sit or bend over. Its fine, it feels more like in a "natural" way - like how it would just normally be if I hadn't ever gained so much weight. I actually prefer it, I don't feel so artificially "tight" anymore.

My boobs stil have that weird crease from the muscle issue. But that won't ever go away. I also cringe when I look at those in the mirror. And again, yes I cringed before surgery...but after all the time, money and pain, I would like to feel at least somewhat better about them, and really, I don't. I just traded one issue for another.

I'm separated from my husband completely. I have my own apartment now. I've dated a few guys. Been intimate with a few. The scars and boobs have been an issue for one guy. Not for the other two. So I guess it just depends on the guy. I REALLY hate having to have "the talk" with them right before we are intimate where I have to explain the scars and apologize profusely. Its awkward and it sucks. I still haven't figured out the right time to do it.

I'm still unsure if I would do it again if I had the choice. I just don't know. My body has finally recovered for the most part, even though it took longer than most, but the numbness and discomfort in certain positions makes me feel like I will never actually feel 100% like myself again. Its tolerable though. My results are mostly what I wanted, but the very dark brown/purple scare after a year and the muscle crease in the boobs wasn't what I expected. I feel like I traded one set of issues for another.

I haven't taken pics in forever. There really isn't any noticeable change worth documenting.
Awesome Review! thanks for the blow by blow and the honesty of it all! It is totally appreciated! and trust me....you have helped someone out!
Thank you for your really honest reveiw, i hope your scar begins to fade more in time, and you can be a happy as you wished you would be in the begining xxx
I am a little over a year also and followed your journey the whole time. Feeling bad for you and then feeling bad for myself. I still have very little feeling in the ab area especially about 4 inches both above belly button and below, it drives me crazy when my hubby touches me there it's like it's numb but tickles, very weird. I know what you mean about the dark scar, I have noticed it lightening some but still very noticeable. The swelling above the incision whenever I eat anything is still very noticeable, wonder if that will ever not be bulging. I am noticing the longer I am post op the skin does get a little big saggy and would love to have it less saggy but not sure it can be redone. Have little ears on both sides and am going to see if they can be taken off. I appreciate your honesty and I still wonder if I would ever do it again, and I feel like my journey was way easier than some.
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