I have been seriously thinking about this breast...
I have been seriously thinking about this breast reduction for a couple of years now. I am one of the millions of un-insured in this country so I will be paying out of pocket for this procedure, which I pray to god is going to be worth it!!! I am currently a full D cup. I have gained some weight over the years and alot of it got distributed to my chest. I am described as "voluptuous" and "curvy". I have boobs and hips and meat on my bones.
I am 5'3 and weigh between 140-145 lbs. I am 40 years old. Yes, I look great in corsets and bikinis- but give me a break- when the heck do I wear those things?? I live in the boonies and wear Tshits, jeans and boots. My ample chest is just plain uncomfortable for me anymore. I HATE wearing minimizer bras all the time. I hate when I look in the mirror all I see is BOOBS. I hate feeling like my breasts are spilling out all over in my workout tops. I'm sick of having a hard time finding blouses that fit properly, cant wear any of the cute sundresses and things in the style that I like and forget about doing any type of cardio-running or those type of things its just plain not happening.
Also- this is not a reason for me doing the surgery, but as an added bonus I will get rid of most of this tattoo I have around my nipple. I got the stupid thing when I was like 18 and needed a place to put it where my mother wouldnt see it. So brilliantly- I got it on my right breast. GREAT idea---NOT...... Dont get me wrong- I love tattoos, but not really this one....
I thought I would write about this journey because there is not alot of experiences out there from women undergoing a smaller breast reduction. So many women on here are HUGE and going through the rduction. Many women are getting reduced TO a D cup. I am in the minority and thought if there was anyone out there like me who is a D cup and wants to be smaller. Another thing is- I dont have much support. My family will not know. They will NOT support my decision and I don't want to hear any negativity about it from them. My boyfriend thinks I am nuts. That may be because, well, he is a man and sees me as his sexual object and of course he likes them. But he doesnt have to lug them around all the time!! He does NOT want me to do this. I've tried to tell him that I have made up my mind and at this point I would appreciate his support. We will see. He hasnt said a word to me about it since then. My friends think I dont need it. BUT they are tiny "A" cups and dont have a friggin clue as to the pitfalls of being buxomous. And one of my good friends is a man. Need I say more.
In light of all this, I did ask the 3 Dr.s I consulted with if I have body dysmorphic disorder or something because everyone is making me feel like I'm an idiot for doing this. They all said that they have performed reductions on women my size and that I do have shoulder grooving and poor posture from having "dense" breasts. I would be a poor canidate for any type of insurance to pay for it because it wont be a large enough reduction. But I dont have insurance anyway so even if I did, it would be an elective surgery. As an added bonus, having smaller breasts has given me the incentive to quit smoking for the surgery.
So ultimately, I am worried about the recovery as I will be home by myself most of the time. I have no children to care for which is good, but I do have a dog, 2 cats and chickens to care for. I am concerned about being prepared for the recovery more than anything. I turned 40 years old this year and I am not getting any younger. The time to live my life and make myself happy is NOW. I would like to end up a B cup. I want to be more comfortable in my clothes and in my own skin. Thats the bottom line. I came here for information and support and I am so thankful for this place. So many wonderful stories and women here. Maybe someone can relate to mine. Thanks for reading.
Well, I had gotten a call this week that the mammogram I had last week had some inconclusive findings and I needed to come back to the hospital for another mammogram and an ultrasound on my left breast.
To make a long story short, after they took the mammo and ultrasound they basically said- we cant say its totally negative, but we didnt find anything either....
WHAT?? What the heck does that mean?
I said, I'm scheduled for a breast reduction in April. She said, well, you need to come back in 6 months for another picture and I'm sorry if that spoils your surgery..
I was like, well, if you cant find anything, then I'm OK and why on earth shouldn't I have the surgery???
I was SO pissed. She said that it would ruin their "baseline" for the next mammogram. Because my breasts are so "dense" the mammogram is inconclusive but there is a possible questionable spot, but they cant really say for sure its anything right now, blah blah blah.
I am sorry, but I am NOT going to ruin my surgery over this big "maybe". I asked my medical records be sent to me so I can talk to my surgeon about this if necessary.
I am feeling very agitated over this right now.
Well, I told my plastic surgeon what the report of my mammography said and he said that the microcalcifications would not interfere with the surgery and if there was anything questionable, they would remove it. I will bring the report with me when I go for my pre-op next month. WHEW....
I'm statring to look for bras and things on makemeheal.com. Its quite confusing!
I wish the surgery was tomorrow- all this anticipation is going to make me nuts!!
Just really trying to prepare for post surgical...
Just really trying to prepare for post surgical stuff. I bought a bunch of zip-up hoodies at kmart, and some moist facial wipes, an extra pair of sweats and a couple of post-op bras from Amazon.
I do have some stuff in my cart at makemeheal.com like a wedge pillow, a waterless body wash (I am a shower fanatic and seriously stressing over the fact I may not be able to shower for a couple days), & another post op bra.
I'm not sure if I should spend the money on those silicone scar sheets that are supposed to be good for wound healing. They are EXPENSIVE! But if they provide benefit, maybe I should.
I also have to order some vitamins that are good for wound healing and recovery like Bromelain, Vit. C, Arnica, & B12.
Just playing the waiting game and trying to prepare.
My boyfriend asked me last night "you SURE you want to do this to yourself?' in a condesending way and it made me upset. I feel like he is just irritated that he is going to be "inconvenienced" for 2 weeks doing alot of the house and animal chores. Also, he is going to have carpal tunnel surgery and doesnt want mine to interfere with his. He's acting very selfish about all this and its making me mad.
I guess thats what I expected from the begining, but I am staying strong. He will just have to deal.
Well, lets see, things I have bought so far:
-soft zip-up hoodies from Kmart
-2 compression / surgical bras
-Dry shampoo (Suave-found it at Walmart)
-another pair of sweatpants
-a pillow from Walmart with those little arm-thingies
- 2 pair button up pajamas
-1 walmart front close bra
-a couple of tank tops
Still want to get my vitamins, and I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff......
Well, I got a call from the Plastic surgeon's office wanting to know if I want to have the surgery done earlier--so I'm getting it done NEXT WEEK!!! Yay!! March 27th is my new surgery date instead of April 5th!! OMG I have got to get my butt in gear prepping for this day!! I will only have help the day of surgery and the day after when I go home.
Holy cow, I cant believe it. I am so happy to get it done sooner!
Ok, well I went for my pre-op appointment yesterday & it went fine. My surgeon basically sat and just answered any questions I have. He said he wont be able to get rid of the whole tattoo safely. He said if theres some blurbs of ink left, in about 6 months I can come back and they will remove it with just some novicaine. But I'll worry about that later I guess.
He looked at my 3 pages of printed pictures of what I wanted to look like and said I'd most likely be a full B, small C. I said I wanted to be a B cup. He said not to worry, with the lift and tissue removal I will feel and look how I want, but he needs to keep me in proportion for the best result.
Also-- the surgical nurse said I will NOT be intubated. I was shocked. I guess they do it differently these days with Propofol (injectable) and an anesthetic mask. I was happy to hear that because one of my fears was to be waking up gagging on the tracheal tube.
He said no drains will be used and I should be able to shower in about 2 days.
I did ask the surgeon to speak with my boyfriend when I am ready for surgery. He said he gladly would. (regarding what to expect and needing help etc)
Then I forked over the money..(gulp) and took my rx for the pain meds to be filled(Lortab? I think). They called in the antibiotics to my pharmacy, but you have to physcially present the script (in NY anyway) for the controlled substance painkillers.
Then I went to Walmart and bought a months worth of animal feed and some baby wipes, short sleeve button up pj's, slip on sneakers, a book (The Magic), shampoos, etc for the next couple of weeks.
Holey MOLey---only 5 days now.
What am I missing??? Not really nervous yet, more anxious to be done with it...
Well, tomorrow is the big day!!! I feel like I need to be doing all the running around I can to prepare because I will be cooped up for awhile. Today I plan on doing grocery shopping and CLEANING. Just keeping busy.
Wow I cant believe the day is almost here. I did get my scripts filled. I was a little disappointed that the painkiller is only Hydrocodone. They dont do much for me. Seems like everybody else got the good stuff.I guess I can take that up with him tomorrow.
I'm staying in a hotel overnight so I have to pack too. I didnt want to stay in the surgery center. Esp. at $350 / night. Nope.
I'm excited and of course nervous. I'm worried about recovery. Just trying to stay positive!
OK so I had my surgery yesterday!!! I am 1 day post op. I feel pretty darn good.
It went like this--Got into surgical center at 6:30
Nurse did my vitals, gave me a gown, feetie socks and a hair net and the lovely hospital gown. They also gave me some pills for nausea & put a patch behind my ear. We just chatted it up a bit.
Then the anesthsia dude came in, talked to me for a couple minutes and YES, I had to be intubated with the tracheal tube!! ugh
Then another nurse came in to the prep room and said we're going to give you something to relax. So I was sitting there chatting it up to the nurse & my boyfriend and I felt like the room was getting all ziggly. The last thing I remember is saying to the nurse,--"wow, I feel like this stuff is working already!" and that was it--light out, nighty night.....Dont remember a thing after that until my plastic surgeon was in my face saying "you did very well, you will propbally be a B cup and you're REALLY perky!!"
And then I was like holy crap, I feel like my chest is ON FIRE. So the nurse injected some pain meds into me. Then again about 1/2 hr. later. It definately took the edge off.
Took me a while to sit up and come too. Total fog brain. They put me in a sugical bra with padding.
Finally went to the hotel and slept and ate and drank. Really, I was totally starving and wanted to eat. Also, it felt like something died in my mough and my throat was roughed up from the tracheal tube. So I drank alot.
Can only sleep on my back.
Today, woke up, ate, took painkillers and antibiotics. Went to the Dr. for bandage change and everything looks fine.
Honestly, I am feeling very good. The pain is very manageable and I can do more stuff than I thought. But definately NOT over-doing it.
The feeling I have is alot of TIGHTNESS in my chest and SORENESS. Like I did a million chest flys at the gym.
I do feel VERY flat. Like really, really small. Its VERY weird. I'm not unhappy at this point though! They are quite swollen so I was putting some ice on them to help with the swelling. And they look really HIGH on my chest. I cant really explain it.
SO-- In general, I feel happy & great.
Day 1 post op--NOT BAD AT ALL!!
Uploading a picture of what I look like in the bra.
Well, I am 2 days post op and still hanging in there. Been taking my pain pills (hydrcodone) and they are helpful.
Today I feel really tired. Sleeping last night was a nightmare. My upper back is really bothering me from staying in this position. Theres no way I can sleep on my side.
I have a big wedge pillow that I pulled out at about 3am. It did help a little better than the stacked pillows.
Today I just feel really really tired & sore. I can feel rushes of pain that last just a second at times through my chest.
Overall, everything is manageable and I am doing just fine!
OK- 4 days post op.
I woke up feeling halfway decent. Took pain meds during the night. Sleeping is still a pain, its really uncomfortable.
Well, today I took my first shower. I was really scared to see what was waiting under the bandages & bra. I reluctantly took it all off and was REALLY freaked out. My boobs look crazy!!
I feel like they are way up in my armpits and really swollen looking and just weird. And TINY!
I am trying not to dwell on it--I just keep praying they will soften into a more normal position. But right now, they look really wack.
And also-- I am having this constant fluttering in my breasts. Its really odd & I cant explain it. My boobs are just fluttering/twitching inside (like when you get a twitch in your eyelid)
It is not painful, just really annoying.
Please, does anyone know what Im talking about??
And also, I was in more pain after my shower than before so I basically took 2 more pain meds. And the fluttering was worse after the shower.
Also, I'm really constipated and look about 4 months pregnant. I've been taking Colace & magnesium but nothing!!
I didnt have the guts today to take a picture because I was really freaked out. I'll try again soon.
OK, today is 4 days post op.
I woke up feeling pretty darn good this am. Didnt need any pain pills, so I just took some Advil. I was happy about that because I was pretty sore when I went to sleep last night. I think the shower may have been a day premature, but i really felt gross...
I am more uncomfortable about the constipation than my breasts honestly. I sent the boyfriend for Miralax and he came back with Dulcolax, and "Smooth Move" herbal Senna tea. I about ripped the package open, took 3 tablets , drank a cup of tea and told him he may wanna keep busy somewhere else today...lol
I had a little oozing on my bandages, but nothing I feel alarmed about. I'm not in pain today and feel good as far as my breasts go!
I still am swollen and feel I look weird.
5 days Post-OP
Ok, Well, I woke up this morning & thought I got hit by a Mack truck. The laxatives kicked in last night about 9-10pm and ---well lets just say---it was awful (but necessary). It was the worse day post surgery by far. (because of the constipation)
I took some tylenol PM's to sleep and they often make me feel crappy in the morning so this morning wasnt great. I slept alot.
My Breasts feel good though- not painful. I have no feeling in my left nipple. And very little in my right nipple. I am told this is to be expected so I'm not going to freak out.
I needed to clean up so I took a bath in about 5 inches of water. It felt gooood. It was easier than standing in the shower because I also dipped my head in and washed my hair at the end with my hand-held shower thingie. I feel much better now
I decided to be brave and upload a photo of what I look like. Its been hard to look at myself because I feel so weird looking. But this is the point of these blogs--to let other women know the experience and what to expect. I will be happy when they soften up and look normal
I'm so incredibly swollen and my left breast has a slight pinch in it on the side. The tattoo is still visible under the steri-strips, going down my breast. I have NO bruising. Very little pain. It hurts to cough.I'm mainly just tired.
OK so I'm uploading what 5 days Post-op looks like on me. I was told to expect to be a B cup which is what I asked for.
Day 6 Post OP
Thanks everybody for the encouraging words-it means alot to me!!
Well, sleeping is still a buzzkill. Now that I ditched the pain meds, sleeping on my back is even harder.
And today, I just feel incredibly swollen. I dont know, I dont think I'm doing too much. I mean, some laundry, emptying dishwasher, light animal chores, and cooked some chili--nothing major the last couple of days.
But, I have my first post-op appt. on friday so I'll ask him if I'm coming along normally or what.
So I'm 10 days post-op today. I feel good.
Went for my first post-op appt. yesterday. The 1.5 hr. car ride each way sucked. I do NOT think I would have been able to drive it safely if I didnt have a ride...I held a pillow to my chest most of the way...
The Dr. took the steri-strips off, said I was looking good and then I had about 16 stitches taken out. The nurse then snipped the ends of I guess the absorbable sutures under the fold of my breast, where there were knots sticking out.
I was a little freaked about having the strips off because I felt like they were the glue holding me together, but he said I will feel much better without them. It didnt hurt at all when he took them off. But now I can really see the "frankenboobs". Wow. Didnt look too long, its a little creepy....
So today, I woke to some weeping under my breast fold. I called them and told them, the Dr. phoned in a script for some more Cephalexin just to be safe and said to put Bacitracin on it, & that I can put some gauze there.
So, I took a shower & just left that bra off for awhile. My intuition is telling me the tightness of the bra is making the irritation worse. They need AIR.
I put some of my healing salve on the redder spot (its plant based and I prefer to use naturals when I can. I love my salve and have had great experience with it).
The tattoo is now parallel to the vertical incision. He said to wait a year and then we can address it. So its almost all gone.....
Did my first solo drive to the Rite Aid to pick up the meds. Its about 14 miles, one way. Then I went to the grocery store to get some stuff. By that time, I had enough and really wanted to get home. So even though I can drive, I'm not doing it again tomorrow cause it was really uncomftorable for me.
Lets see- I've developed some yellowish bruising...... from what I'm not sure.
The interior stitches feel really creepy- like I'm corseted inside. And you can feel them under your skin. It bugs me, but, I know I'm weird like that. Just knowing its there makes my skin crawl....
Other than that, I feel pretty good at day 10- sleeping is still crappy- still a bit swollen- but overall, doing just fine.
Uploaded a Day 10 photo to document the process
Well, I'm about 3 weeks out from the surgery- about 24 days. This week has been rough- I ain't gonna lie.
My breasts hurt. They are swollen and tender. They are bruised. they "burn" some days. And I can feel weird stuff going on in there. Movements of some sort that arent painful, just truly uncomfortable.
I've had a lot of ups and downs this week. I can say, this week has been a struggle.
I am doing more things for sure because I have to. I drive with a pillow behind my back when i must go out.
I still cant truly sleep on my side. I do have some oozing still at the "T" junction.
I've been using polysporin and non-stick bandages.
My scars are redder than they had been. I dont know why really. Feel like I'm getting worse before I get better. I dont think anything is truly "wrong" though....
Its like you feel better enough to do things, then feel like crap when you do. Its very frustrating.
This has been the toughest week for me so far I think. I will be so happy to be feeling better.
One day at a time...patience....keep telling myself.....