MM- Im glad I did it! Upland, CA

Hi everyone! I've been reading stories on realself on and off for the last year and a half, and now everyday for the last two months! I spend hours reading reviews and looking at before and after pics. It's great being able to follow someone's journey and get an idea of what to expect. I was very nervous to join because I didnt want to show picture, especially nude ones! I finally decided to join for support. :-)

I am 27 years old, 5'3", 115lbs. I have 3 handsome boys ages 6, 5, and 2. I breastfed all 3. Before I had kids I weighed 110lb. After pregnancies I would lose the weight fairly fast but my body looked worse and worse after each pregnancy. My breast have sagged and when I breastfed my second child I always lactated A LOT more on my right side, no matter how I fed I couldn't correct the uneven lactation. My breast were about 2 cup sizes at that time. After that my breast have stayed uneven and now are a cup size different and saggy. My stomach has loose skin that bulges over my jeans. If I wear a fitted shirt my stomach looks wrinkled and sticks out. Therefore I usually wear loose fitting tops.

Since I had my second child I wanted to "fix" my body, my husband would tell me I didn't need it and was against it. I would bring it up here and there and he had the same response, he would say I could just work out and build muscle and tighten and lift everything again....didn't work! I toned up a bit but my extra skin wasn't going anywhere! I started having poor self image. I didn't want my hubby to see me naked, I wanted all the lights off, and no touching of my breast and stomach. I kept telling him I needed to get this makeover in order to feel good naked again.

About 6 months ago he finally realized that I needed to do it for me and for us. And he came to the realization that Excersize does not get rid of skin nor will make my breast lifted and full like they were before. He has been supportive ever since and even shows a bit of excitement over the new breasts to come.

I have scheduled my surgery for May 3rd, 2013. I am excited and scared. Excited for this makeover and to feel good naked again and scared of the recovery and all the "what ifs" run through my mind.

I'm having doubts about what size I should go for. I don't want to go too big. My PS suggested 500cc HP silicone. 500cc just seem way too big, he told me most patients wish they would have gone bigger. I decided on 450cc right and 475cc left. I want a natural look. My fear is going too big.

Today a lady at work asked if I was pregnant! Ugh I guess these loose fitting shirts are not hiding my belly! One month before my surgery, no more pregnancy look!

In the last day I've been having so many worries about the tummy tuck. I'm afraid of how the scar will look. Will it be too high? Recovery concerns me, I can only take 2 1/2 weeks off work. I'm afraid that won't be enough since I'm on my feet all day, I work retail. Yesterday I read a terrible review on a tummy tuck recovery here on RS. That really scared me. I'm now afraid of looking worse than I do now. Maybe I should only do the Breast augmentation. Maybe I need to stop reading reviews so I don't come across another horrific one.

I have about a week to decide if I want to postpone my surgery. Not because I want to but it's bad timing. My father in law has cancer and is no longer doing chemo. He's had a rough week, not eating, throwing up and in pain. My husband has taken days off work to be with him. I'm afraid if I get my surgery in 2.5 wks I won't have my husbands help and if he is around to help me I feel like I would be taking time away from him and his dad. And if I'm recovering I won't be able to spend time with his dad either, I try to see him as much as possible. I've been wanting this for years but I can't be selfish.

I brought it up to my husband last night and he asked "what does your surgery have to do with my dad?" I told him my concerns about him not being able to be with both of us during my recovery. He stayed quiet and fell asleep. It's hard to talk about his dad because I can see the hurt in his eyes. I don't know how much longer my father in law has, if they (him and his sister) have the funeral expenses set aside. I'm afraid to ask because he doesn't like to talk about it and it hurts him to think his dad is dying.

I took out a personal loan for my surgery and the money is in my savings, I'm also afraid it will be needed for other things if I wait and then I won't have the money to pay for the surgery. I was feeling more confident and my self esteem was getting better just knowing my surgery was finally going to happen. Now I'm feeling a bit depressed and my self esteem is lower. I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling guilty and unsure.

I'm on an emotional roller coaster. One minute I'm excited then sad. I'll see what happens in the nxt couple of days.

My father in law has passed, we will be having his funeral service this weekend. It was hard to see him go but we know he is in a better place, no more pain and suffering.

I havent really been thinking about my surgery in the past week. I was ok with postponing it, my husband told me just to go thru with it as scheduled. We both already have the scheduled time off. Im feeling a little scared now. Before the thought of being "cut up" didbt bother me because I was so excited about the change. But now I'm getting nervous and scared. What if im not happy with the results....if my scar is to high, if my breast are too big, complications, recovery, what if I can't afford the payments. So many thoughts have been going through my mind today.

3 days til my big day, I havent felt excitement lately just nervousness. Ive been trying to clean my house spotless but with 3 boys its impossible to keep it clean for more than a few hours! I have posted some censored pics of my breast, pictures make me notice how bad i need this.

I had my surgery this morning. It has been ok so far. I felt like i had a stack of bricks on top of my breast because of how tight they are wrapped. I feel like I have a strap on them? They hurt more than my tummy. I've been taking my pain meds every 4-6 hrs. I was standing for a few minutes and all of a sudden I felt hot and out of breath.
I haven't seen my incision or breast, im kinda scared.
My husband has been amazing, he printed out a chart and tapes it on the wall so he could keep track of my meds, draining, eating etc.

I go to my 1st preop tomorrow morning. I'll keep posting updates.

I had my post op day today. I got to see my tummy tuck incision and it looks nice and low! My boobs look deformed. My right breast looks so much bigger than my left... I'm worried my PS put the bigger 475cc one my bigger boob! And the smaller 450cc on my already small one. I hope that's not the case and it's just swollen. I can't really sleep, I feel half awake and can hear every little noise. My drains really bug I feel like the dig into my hip bone.
I have my next post op appt on Friday 5/10. Hopefully my boobs look more even :-/

Day 4 PO, I've been ok just tired. Finally had a BM today, gonna keep taking stool softeners because it was hard to go. My breast are looking more even. My stomach is super numb. My drains bug, I can't wait to get them out!

The hardest thing so far is not being able to hold my boys, especially my two year old. He keeps asking me to pick him up and has cried a few times because i dont. It's also hard just laying here not being able to help my husband clean or cook, I know I should be enjoying it but I don't. I can't wait til I can start doing it all again.

I will post pics when I'm able to go on my laptop. I wish I could post pics from my phone. Happy healing everyone!

Hey everyone! In 8 days PO and feeling better everyday! I got my drains removed yesterday it I hated the feeling but I was happy to have them out! I feel like I can move around a little more.

My hubby wanted to start having sex again and I was like NO! I'm still in the early healing process and I don't want anyone to touch me. He seemed upset but he'll get over it. I feel better about my self image already but I'm still healing.

I updated my phones software and now I can add photos thru my phone yay!

Finally got around to taking some current pics! I had to hide in the closet so my boys didn't see me LOL! I've been so busy and tired with my boys. I've been feeling better everyday. My only concern is my right boob, it's looking odd to me. Looks like there is a dent under my nipple area, like its smooched there. Maybe the implant is high and all my loose skin is hanging. Idk!

Everyone that has seen the new girls think they are small! My mom, aunt, and sisters. It's like they are dissapointed they aren't big. They say they are the size I was before kids... That's what I was looking for! But now that I keep hearing that I wish I had gone a little bigger! I should have taken my PS advise and done 475cc and 500cc. Ugh oh well! There it is boobie greed!

My tummy is healing nicely, I still get very swollen above the incision and it looks and feels gross. I will post pics of my incisions when i change my paper tape on Saturday.

A few days ago we took the boys to a water park w another couple and their kids. She kept bringing up my surgery, it's like she wanted everyone around to know I had work done, I was annoyed! I was wearing one of my old full coverage bathing suits, covering my tummy so I could wear my binder.

I go back to work tomorrow, not very excited about that. Although I like where I work, I really enjoyed being home with my boys. As crazy as they drive me I love being able to drop them off and pick them up from school, help them with homework, etc. I'm working towards paying off all my debts so I can stay home with them or work part time so I'm home more.

Happy healing everyone!

I forgot to add them to the other update. I hope my boobs even out, drop and fluff and whatever else they need to do soon!

I went back to work 2 days ago and I was fine, I just felt swollen after a few hrs. Some of my uniform outfits are too tight around the chest now! I added new pics, i think my right breast looks like its bottoming out :-( I hope not. I'm going to contact my PS and see if I need to go before my nxt appt