Breast Implants: Stories

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cantdecide
updated 3 months ago

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Cost: $6,000
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So, I've spent A LOT of time on the forums,...

29 Jan 2013

So, I've spent A LOT of time on the forums, reading other ladies' stories. My husband is really against plastic surgery, so I have not proceeded with it. But now, as I'm getting older (32!), and done having kids, I want to go for it.

I have wanted BA since I was 14, when I made the cheerleading squad at my school. I knew at that time I didn't really have boobs, but I just assumed I wasn't done growing yet. Then came the day we all got fitted for uniforms. I couldn't help but notice that everyone else looked like a *woman.* And I was still not quite an A cup. I had this realization that I hadn't grown in height or weight since 7th grade; I was done growing. Boobs and all. The body I had that day, was more or less my 'adult' sized body. (And true enough, 18 years later, I am not even a half inch taller, but probably 15 pounds heavier!) So anyway, that was the moment I wanted BA, just to look like a woman.

Even though I was just 14, I knew it wasn't practical or even possible to have the surgery. In the back of my mind, though, I thought I would get it done before I left for college. But the realities of the expenses of college put that plan on the back burner. Then I met this amazing man, we dated, got married, etc.

I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children, and I was content to wait for BA until I was done with kids, even though I knew I didn't really have to. Just one less potential for complications in that regard. So I waited.

Two children later, my youngest is 6 1/2, and I still haven't done it. Why not? The man I married, as wonderful as he is, is really against the idea of plastic surgery. I have tried a couple of times over the years to bring it up, and it's basically a discussion of all the reasons I shouldn't do it, which we all already know. But that doesn't seem to make me feel like a woman, the way I have wanted to feel since I was 14.

Basically, I am less than an A cup, and while I say I want to be a full B (there are plenty of you ladies' before pics I would be happy with!), some of the 'after' photos I like are Cs and Ds. Like most, I want to look proportional to my frame (pear shape) and natural. I do NOT want to look like a 30-somethng with two children whose breasts can defy gravity. :)

Today I am feeling a little more brave and empowered to bring it up again. I think this time, instead of trying to make my husband understand how I feel, I am going to tell him how I feel, and ask for him to support my decision. I know he will wonder what to tell our friends. We take group vaca to a beach once a year with this small group of friends, and I'm sure he will not want me to look like Pamela Anderson in front of them. So I plan to show him a few pics of what my ideal end result will be, and go from there.

I worked up the courage last night and brought it...

1 Feb 2013

I worked up the courage last night and brought it up with my husband. I was really nervous, knowing from when I've brought it up in the past how much he didn't like the idea.

I can tell you* verbatim* what I said (because I rehearsed it in my mind so many times). I said, "I need to talk to you about something that has been really hard for me to even bring up. To get to the point, I REALLY want a boob job. I know how you feel about it, and I know I'm not going to change your mind. But what I'm asking for now is your support. If I decide to go through with this, I will need your help and assistance after the surgery. And I'd like you to come to some of the consultations. Can you do that and be a part of it with me?"

He said I was a grown woman, it's my body and he would love me no matter what. (Yay!) But (you knew that was coming, right?), he also said he wouldn't be as attracted to me physically. He said he couldn't imagine touching them, knowing they weren't ME.

I told him next that I was really heartbroken, because I'm in this awful place of having to choose between something I have wanted for SO LONG, and honoring him as my husband and his preferences. So I am doing this constant back and forth in my mind, on one hand, he may THINK he doesn't like the look/feel of them, but in a year or two, could he get used to it? On the other hand, what if he doesn't get used to it, and I end up less attractive to him, and it somehow destabilizes and hurts our marriage? So many of you on this website have said your hubbys have gotten over it, and you're fine now. I just know how well we work together as partners in life, parenting, etc., could I potentially ruin my marriage?

So many of you have already responded, and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. I just wanted to update you all on the situation and how it has progressed. I know it's up to me, ultimately. I just need some time to think. But any new insight anyone has would be great.

Forgot to say, he asked me why I was trying to...

1 Feb 2013

Forgot to say, he asked me why I was trying to live up to unrealistic standards. I told him I wasn't, it was the simple fact that I could buy a size small bikini top, and a size large bottom (I'm a serious pear shape), and the small top would be GAPING on me. Same with dress shopping: to try on several dresses, and have to choose the one that I can most easily conceal my bra with 'cutlets.' And even then there is no guarantee it will fit properly on top without taking it to the tailor. Or when I was at VS asking for a backless bra in my size, and the sales girls says, "Do you even need a bra?" So it's not that I'm trying to live up to a standard. I'm trying to fit in women's clothes.

I would say I got the point for that round. :)

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Comments (39)

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flamom 5 Feb 2013

wish I could give you a big hug! It has to be your decision alone. I know how you feel about always wanting breasts, all my friends had them and I wanted them too! I got mine at age 38 and loved them, my hubby didn't want me to get them and feared they would be big hard rocks that everyone on the planet would know where fake at stare at me like I was a freak. None of his fears came to pass. Yes, they were larger but they have always felt real. I know this is not the case for a lot of women but that was not my experience. I did have meat on me and maybe my skin was looser, I don't know for sure. My implants are under the muscle, low profile and filled to 550cc. After not a long time they felt like they should have been there from the beginning or so I let myself think that. Meaning I would have never shown my real breasts off or let anyone feel them as I did in the beginning. Once they felt a part of me I would have felt like a pervert letting someone cop a feel ! Now for the sad part of my love story with my girls :( the left one has ruptured and has gone on to saline implant heaven! On the 28th Feb her twin will be going too! Yes I am sad to see them go but it was a good run. I always pushed the fact that something could happen out of my mind and said it would not happen to me. Well it did. We are not made of money and the first time we were still raising kids and we could have used the money for a million other things and I felt lucky as heck to be able to have my dream come to life, boobs!!!!! Now 13 years later It does not seem fair to me to get new ones and potentially have something else go wrong and I won't be able to do a thing about it.. Up until last week, before this happened my daughter who is just about to turn 20 has been begging for a BA I would have let her because I had a good experience up until then, now I will encourage her to live with the little bit she has for now. She has no children, once she has lived a little and is more mature maybe she will look back at what can truly be the reality of having a BA and decide not to get one. You are lucky that your husband loves you just the way you are and does not want any harm to come to you! Having said that I know how you feel wanting them so bad. In reality the only thing they change is your bra size. Any other life issues are still there. I would dream of the cute little tops that I would soon be wearing and the bathing suits too! Whoo hoo I couldn't wait. Sad thing was in my case there were not cute little tops, my boobs were too big for them. Not to give the impression they didn't look great in other things, just not little tops! I am all over the place in this post and don't mean to confuse you on what I am trying to get across. I wanted them, got them. loved them, just know it is not all perfect fitting clothes and roses, things can and do go wrong. I hope if you decide to go through with a BA nothing ever goes wrong because you will then be wondering if it was ever worth it to begin with. I wish I could have convinced my younger self to be happy with what I had. I have no idea what I will end up with now and probably will wish I had the ones I started with all along. Hugs!

cantdecide 5 Feb 2013

I really appreciate your honest and candid feelings about it. When it ruptured, was it painful? Roughly how much is it to have it removed/fixed? Just curious. :)

flamom 5 Feb 2013

To be honest I don't know when it ruptured. I know that sounds like "how could that be!!" I have had some weird pains in the left breast for a few months now. It have been one of those CC's that can happen and I had no clue and then it ruptured. Or it could have been a slow leak from the valve. The first thing I noticed other that the pains that were off and on in my left breast which I thought might be hormones as I am 51 and peri-menopausal was last week I put on a bra that on the left side the underwire was missing and my breast looked a lot lower than the right one. So I just changed it and went about my business. At that moment I was not alarmed as it didn't look flat as you would imagine a ruptured implant to be. The next clue was in the shower, I looked down and all the fullness that is usually at the top was gone. Now my heart started beating a bit faster as you can imagine. I kept feeling them both at it was kinda hard to tell. They looked similar but the left was a lot more floppy. When I got out and was looking at them straight on it was more obvious that something was wrong. I called my PS's office right away and thankfully they had a cancellation and got me in that morning. she confirmed the implant was pretty much empty. My first thought was I was going to get new ones asap! The more time that has gone on and reading tons on here I have decided for me at this stage in my life and my age it is best for me to just get them removed. I won't know for sure until the explant how the rupture happened. Mine at the moment look almost the same looking straight on, the side few in very different and the volume is very different also. The left one if you grabbed it top to bottom it is pretty floppy where as the right is still full. Do I like it NO! but with all the push up bras out there and the fact I won't be entering any wet t-shirt competitions or getting beads at Mardi Gras it will have to do. There is a picture on my profile, I have no idea how to tell you to get there to see it. In the picture you might not even be able to tell. If you felt them though you would for sure notice the difference. The cost of just the removal is going to be 4900.00 and that includes all the dr fees and operating room costs. With a lift it would be 9500.00. On the 12th when I go for my final consult before surgery I am going to ask if I am a candidate for a partial lift whatever that is. The surgery coordinator mention it.

prettyprettycharm 3 Feb 2013

So sorry to hear your dilemma I truly hope he comes around bc I almost shed a tear wen u wrote he wouldn't b as attracted to u...but u should make sure your happy in your own skin and hopefully he will follow bc your happy!!! Hope it all works out and hope u figure out what it is u want to do...I know the feeling of being torn between feelings esp wen both make you so happu

cantdecide 4 Feb 2013

Oh, I've shed tears about it! Thanks for commenting and your support.

softgirl 4 Feb 2013

Awwww, don't cry. Just 'get er done'! lol. Take the lead and he'll follow.

prettyprettycharm 4 Feb 2013

It'll all turn out great :) and no problem hope I didn't come across rude?

cantdecide 4 Feb 2013

Oh gosh -- not rude at all! I don't even know *how* that could have been rude. :)

prettyprettycharm 4 Feb 2013

After just felt I shouldnt have brung it bak up... But how soon did u wanna get it done?

cantdecide 5 Feb 2013

I don't have a timeline in mind. My work is really slow this time of year, and only gets busier as the year goes on until its chaos at Christmas. So ideally I would have had it done three weeks ago, so if might even be next year at this time. I have no idea. :/

softgirl 1 Feb 2013

Oh, forgot to add, I wouldn't worry about this causing a divorce, unless you were to suddenly decide to become a stripper, wear excessively revealing clothing, vanish for days at a time, etc. in other words, drastically change for the worse. You have kids together, he is obligated to support them, he's not going anywheres. If you keep being the same, loving attentive wife, he'll get over himself. nuff said!

softgirl 1 Feb 2013

My hubby tried to say something similar, that he wasn't attracted to my new 'fake' boobs, etc. Well, I consider that emotional blackmail and manipulative. Guess what, after not 'getting' any for a few months now, he's following me around, wanting to look and touch. Don't fall for this recent approach. Don't let him try to make you feel bad about your desire to want a boob job. He may be a 'wonderful' man in other ways, but this is really an unkind way to influence you. I'm not saying you have to be mad at him for saying these things, just let it roll off your back.

cantdecide 2 Feb 2013

You're a wise woman...

softgirl 2 Feb 2013

I'm trying my best. My self image is not dependant on trying to please my spouse, or kids or anyone else 24/7....at some point they all have to respect and honor ME. it's not a one way street..

MissNewBoobs 1 Feb 2013

Really hope he becomes more supportive :-) I can say that just a few months ago my husband said the same thing about him maybe not being attracted to them or me with them. And I think I almost cried hearing that but I took him to the consults and now he is okay with it. I told him I loved him but I need to do this for myself. My surgery is in 24 days :-D

cantdecide 1 Feb 2013

Good luck with your surgery! Keep me/us posted!

cantdecide 1 Feb 2013

I hope so. But generally speaking, I'm not all that insecure about my everyday appearance. In fact, I just got my six best lady friends together for a stripper class to prepare us all for Valentine's day! haha! I want this more to help me fill bathing suits and bras without a crazy amount of padding. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement!

Angiemcc (Community Manager) 1 Feb 2013

Thank you so much for starting your story on RealSelf. I like your new approach in telling your husband how you feel and asking for support. This is something you've wanted since before you met him, after all.

Please let us know how it all goes. You certainly have our support here.

Flakita0787 1 Feb 2013

Your story called my attention because I went through the same cituation. Im 25 with 3 kids but i never grew boobs just while breast fed my kids but they went down to my normal size 32A like after a month of breast feeding them. I been with my fiance 4 yrs now and I always have told him how i feel so depress n low self esteem because i dont feel complet. I never did it before because always somenthing more important has pop out for me to spend the money so i have never really had it. My fiance keeps telling me I dont need it he likes me the way i am n plus he hates the fake boobs look n how hard they feel! But finally he said to me last couple of months in 2012 that if that really will make me happy he will support me. Now this year I said its my time to put myself first no matter what who n what they say this is more for myself then for anyone else of course speaking about my fiance. But his opinion is very important for me i want him to be happy with the outcome as well. I hope u plant this yo ur husband its ur body and u may do what u please to be happy as a women plus a thinks the sex life will be much better because the confident women will be there! I really hope he understands n support you and if not we all are supporting you in here! I have my consultation with a great Dr. Here where i live on feb 8th n was also recommended by a female that had them done with jom from this site n they look perfect and narural just what im looking for. I want to get them done in 2-3 months from now due to thats my vacation time from work. So i hope we stat tine with each other to share our own experiences. Good luck to u best wishes n I will pray for u so ur husbands finally understands and respect ur desicion and supports you as well. See ya

softgirl 1 Feb 2013

Yeah, they all SAY they hate the 'fake boob look' but it's everywhere on all the porn men love to look at and the strip clubs. Lots of men are seeing BA's in porn but THINK they are natural. Also this whole idea of implants being 'hard' is not true. If you ask most men, they will tell you they have never really known any woman with implants personally. They are just afraid that now you will look better and leave em. That's what it all boiled down to with my hubby. It wasn't about what I wanted or felt i needed, it was only just about him.

Flakita0787 1 Feb 2013

I soooo agree with you! Where u been all this years to help me through this ? Lmao it makes me angry to see how they think they know it all and seen it all! Like I said he is supporting me now n told me he will be there for me and will take me n will drive me back home after surgery. I do think he is scared to lose me if i look better and i feel better about myself I always seen he kin of enjoys seen me feeling low n insecure. And that makes me sad buy lets see what happens after my surgery n see how he changes with me. Im new on thi so i dont know how to write my story n posf pics from my iphone like all u girls do. Please help if u can explaining how i do this, i want to share my story n my progress as well. Thanks

cantdecide 1 Feb 2013

I would be fun if we got them done about the same time. I'm still working it out in my own mind, but I don't know what I'm waiting for anymore, really...

cantdecide 1 Feb 2013

Was there anything you said or did in particular to 'prove' you weren't going to leave him? My hubby never said that explicitly, but reassuring him couldn't hurt.

cantdecide 1 Feb 2013

If you want to make your own story, click the blue button at the very top of the page that says, 'Write a Review." Only certain fields are required, so if you're like me, and not sure you're even going to do it yet, you can still get your story posted. Good luck!

MissNewBoobs 1 Feb 2013

I flat out said "what do you think I'm going to leave you cause I got boobs" and he got a strange look on his face. He never came out and sad it but I think that he thought I was doing this for some other reason. I'm doing this 100% for me but he can enjoy too haha