- updated 1 month ago
So, I've spent A LOT of time on the forums,...
- 29 Jan 2013
So, I've spent A LOT of time on the forums, reading other ladies' stories. My husband is really against plastic surgery, so I have not proceeded with it. But now, as I'm getting older (32!), and done having kids, I want to go for it.
I have wanted BA since I was 14, when I made the cheerleading squad at my school. I knew at that time I didn't really have boobs, but I just assumed I wasn't done growing yet. Then came the day we all got fitted for uniforms. I couldn't help but notice that everyone else looked like a *woman.* And I was still not quite an A cup. I had this realization that I hadn't grown in height or weight since 7th grade; I was done growing. Boobs and all. The body I had that day, was more or less my 'adult' sized body. (And true enough, 18 years later, I am not even a half inch taller, but probably 15 pounds heavier!) So anyway, that was the moment I wanted BA, just to look like a woman.
Even though I was just 14, I knew it wasn't practical or even possible to have the surgery. In the back of my mind, though, I thought I would get it done before I left for college. But the realities of the expenses of college put that plan on the back burner. Then I met this amazing man, we dated, got married, etc.
I knew I wanted to breastfeed my children, and I was content to wait for BA until I was done with kids, even though I knew I didn't really have to. Just one less potential for complications in that regard. So I waited.
Two children later, my youngest is 6 1/2, and I still haven't done it. Why not? The man I married, as wonderful as he is, is really against the idea of plastic surgery. I have tried a couple of times over the years to bring it up, and it's basically a discussion of all the reasons I shouldn't do it, which we all already know. But that doesn't seem to make me feel like a woman, the way I have wanted to feel since I was 14.
Basically, I am less than an A cup, and while I say I want to be a full B (there are plenty of you ladies' before pics I would be happy with!), some of the 'after' photos I like are Cs and Ds. Like most, I want to look proportional to my frame (pear shape) and natural. I do NOT want to look like a 30-somethng with two children whose breasts can defy gravity. :)
Today I am feeling a little more brave and empowered to bring it up again. I think this time, instead of trying to make my husband understand how I feel, I am going to tell him how I feel, and ask for him to support my decision. I know he will wonder what to tell our friends. We take group vaca to a beach once a year with this small group of friends, and I'm sure he will not want me to look like Pamela Anderson in front of them. So I plan to show him a few pics of what my ideal end result will be, and go from there.
I worked up the courage last night and brought it...
- 1 Feb 2013
I can tell you* verbatim* what I said (because I rehearsed it in my mind so many times). I said, "I need to talk to you about something that has been really hard for me to even bring up. To get to the point, I REALLY want a boob job. I know how you feel about it, and I know I'm not going to change your mind. But what I'm asking for now is your support. If I decide to go through with this, I will need your help and assistance after the surgery. And I'd like you to come to some of the consultations. Can you do that and be a part of it with me?"
He said I was a grown woman, it's my body and he would love me no matter what. (Yay!) But (you knew that was coming, right?), he also said he wouldn't be as attracted to me physically. He said he couldn't imagine touching them, knowing they weren't ME.
I told him next that I was really heartbroken, because I'm in this awful place of having to choose between something I have wanted for SO LONG, and honoring him as my husband and his preferences. So I am doing this constant back and forth in my mind, on one hand, he may THINK he doesn't like the look/feel of them, but in a year or two, could he get used to it? On the other hand, what if he doesn't get used to it, and I end up less attractive to him, and it somehow destabilizes and hurts our marriage? So many of you on this website have said your hubbys have gotten over it, and you're fine now. I just know how well we work together as partners in life, parenting, etc., could I potentially ruin my marriage?
So many of you have already responded, and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. I just wanted to update you all on the situation and how it has progressed. I know it's up to me, ultimately. I just need some time to think. But any new insight anyone has would be great.
Forgot to say, he asked me why I was trying to...
- 1 Feb 2013
I would say I got the point for that round. :)
I have decided to go for it!
- 2 Nov 2013
In my meetings with the counselor, we went over all kinds of screenings for body dismorphic disorder, confidence, etc. It was very thorough, and we talked about why I wanted it, how long, family relationships, old boyfriends, whether I had been teased about it... I can't even tell you all we discussed. Ultimately, she reminded me that it is MY BODY, and I can do with it whatever I want. I just so feared it could end my marriage. To which I realized, it would be the most ridiculous reason to leave a marriage: because your wife got a boob job.
So. I went to a consultation. I got really mixed feelings. The doctor I spoke with seemed really nervous through our whole meeting. We did the 3D imaging photo. It was okay. She said they only did high profile implants. And I really want a natural look. So then I was thinking maybe this whole thing wasn't for me after all.
The photo is the vectra imaging they did.
Then I went to another doctor for another consultation. It was TOTALLY different! So far, advice I can give to people thinking about it, is to visit more than one doctor! I met one of the staff members, Kim, and she was so easy to talk to. She showed me pictures of women with a similar 'before' to what I look like. She showed me that I have a wider frame, and that 300 CCs looks drastically different on a woman with a narrow frame vs a wider frame.
I tried on sizers, and I liked something that felt rather large. I said I liked how it looked under clothes, but I was worried about looking too large with a swim suit. She asked if I was married, and how my husband felt about it. That's when I broke down and cried. She was great. Got me kleenex, water and a few minutes. When she came back, she asked about how our relationship was, why he didn't like it, and seemed like she really cared. I can't tell you how much it put me at ease.
Unfortunately, because of that, it took a while, and I didn't get a chance to actually meet the doctor. But I most certainly will go again, because I already feel so good about how caring she was.
Then, after a few days, out of nowhere, my husband sat down with me, and said he just wants me to be happy. He completely changed his tune, and has agreed to support me.
I don't know what changed in him, or if he finally just accepted the fact that I was going to do it. But things really seem to be moving in the right direction.