16 Years of Implants with 3 Surgeries (Saline; Saline to silicone; Repair silicone rupture with CC)- Texas

I am finally going for a consultation this week. ...

I am finally going for a consultation this week.
At 50 years old I am so ready to embrace who I am and not who I thought I needed to be. Like so many here I got implants at a low time of my life (single mum) at the age of 35. I had NO breast tissue after nursing 3 children- literally a size AAA or less. Before nursing I was a solid A to small B. I had one 18 yr old lifeguard ask me if I had a mastectomy!! He said I was so cute otherwise and figured I must have had cancer!
They did the trick and resolved my insecurities about breast size. However the 360cc saline where too heavy for my thin skin so I switched to silicone. Then as a guy hugged me too tight and my silicone implant ruptured- I didn't know it for sure how ever micro fevers followed for several years and the left breast became hard. The third surgery was to get rid of the capsular contraction. Funny the PS didn't think it was a ruptured implant and had to really clean everything up and remove the capsule. That is when the left side changed and didn't match the right- larger pocket and different shape.
I wasn't thrilled because the left breast never felt right. The implant moves a lot and it feels like it is pinching a nerve. More recently I had an ultrasound of my heart because my left side felt funny. I finally realized it might be the implant. So I started doing research on implant removal and found Realself. Thank G-d because I am driving my bf nuts and need some women to chat with about this.
Thanks for reading my story!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_UoMXF73j0c Please check out Brene Brown's talk on the Price of Invulnerability
That lifeguard sounds like a real idiot. Who would say that?

I'm glad you're comfortable with who you are now (one of the benefits of aging, I'd say). We'll be here for you through this journey, so please keep us updated. If you haven't already, check out Green Temple's post about her personal experience with explantation.

It's time to put all the discomfort behind you. Thank you for sharing your story so far!
I second Unsure2013 comment………...wow you look amazing for 50. I've only had my breast done for 7 months and I am experiencing problems. Its so scary and can be lonely but know your not alone hunny x

TED talk hang inthere to 3/4 through she has an awesome point


I love her point about body types and confidence!!!
I too just registered and am looking forward to the journey of removal. I have wanted them removed for some time now and just never could get the courage to follow it through because it seems so scary. Thanks for all your encouraging posts.
Hi tr6898, What kind of implants do you have?
I'm 49 and am scheduled to have mine either deflated or removed on Jan 16th... similar experience as you... Started out as barely an A and went up to a large C that grew to a DD over the last 15 years!! Even though I didn't gain any weight. The weight I did have just started going to my boobs... so they just feel huge now. Want them gone! Good news is that the docs tell me I won't need a lift. You might not either. We are the same age. :) Good luck with the consultation!

Great consult with Dr. Moliver

He gave me three options based on what I expressed interest in. The first was to have them removed under local and see how the skin reponds (he recommended this). Next option was to remove them under general anethesia and tack down the capsule and muscle. Finally the third option was fat grafting.
He did my last surgery and he does a nice job. Now I need to do some more research. I have a feeling I will go with option one and save for fat graphing if needed. :-)

ps...I didn't realize I had low grade cc on the right side :-o


Current specs

I am roughly130 lbs and 5'5.75". Hey that 3/4 of an inch is important! I usually weight about 120 lbs. Holidays are over so it's time to get back on The Plan by Lyn Genet. when I had my BA I was under 120 and had NO breasts. Just a little loose skin if I lean forward.
I'll be honest it will be tough to have my tummy stick out as much as my chest. And I have no tummy really. I am prepping to battle with body image.

Preop appt today :-0

I am feeling a bit nervous as I remember all the paperwork that lists all the complications.....YIKES

Wore myself out at a dance camp

So now I'm in bed with a heating pad and can't take alleve etc :-( Surgery is 10 days away....excited and nervous. My partner is sick and coughing all the time. Poor thing finally went to the doctor. I hope he is better before my surgery and that I don't get his cold.
Any suggestions for where to find a post op sports bra?
what ever you decide for a bra, make sure it has a clasp; you won't want to pull it over your head - way too painful. Somewhere in my post, I have the brand I used - it was a post surgery bra and was so comfortable! Good luck!

I wonder whether it will all work out

It has been difficult to get my mammogram to the doctor and I found out my last mammogram was in 2010.......starting to get scared I will look awful afterwards....
You will look wonderful

Trouble locating sports bras that are xs/30-32 that zip or latch

The small sports bras all seem to slip over one's head. I did get a post surgical bra for right afterwards. I feel excited and nervous. Love reading all the personal journeys....
I would recommend the Fruit of the Loom front closure bra. It's all cotton and inexpensive so you don't mind throwing them away when no longer needed. http://www.walmart.com/ip/Fruit-of-the-Loom-Comfort-Front-Close-Sports-Bra-Style-96014/13997192
Thank you so much!
You're welcome!

post op finally

They are out.....capsules too. Finally! I am sore tired and groggy but ok. I am curious why he took the capsules out. I think it was because the implant from 1998 was sticky even though it hadn't officially ruptured.
The worst part of my surgery was arguing with my boyfriend on the way to surgery :-/

Pictures 5 hours post op


Yaaaay! Congrats. And the boyfriend-sheesh! Men sometimes
:-) REALLY right!

36 hours post op

Well, 36 hrs out and doing well. So much easier than the previous three breast surgeries. I think I have been moving about too much because I am getting very sore now. As you can see from my post op picture I was almost all implant! I think 100cc== 1 cups size. So I went from 360cc rough 3 cups and a 32D on my frame to a 32A or AA. They are wrapped pretty darn tight right now.
It been a perfect day to curl up and read (Divergent by Roth) young adult fiction. That's about my speed while on pain meds.
Gentle hugs to all of my explant sisters. You are all in my prayers. And I am so thankful for each woman who writes a review and shares. You make such a difference! This experience would be harder and lonelier with out you.
Yay! I'm so happy for you! You look great! I bet you feel so much better! I know I do :) happy healing! I hope things are better with the bf. Men can be such asses!
Thanks for checking in :-) Bf bought flowers :-) He can be such a sweetie when he doesn't have brain farts! LOL


Bf bought flowers! What a sweetie:-)
Congrats! Welcome back to a natural you!
Thanks.....rough night but, feeling better with food and coffee. Shower sometime today. I haven't seen them yet. I may need a magnifying glass

48 hrs post op

Hi, I had my first shower. It felt great. I have swelling on the left side that I am concerned about. I was connected to the doctor immediately via the answering service. We are watching it.
Wow no drains or anything. I'm so happy for you. Welcome back!
You look great! And I agree that you look nowhere near 50!
You look like your 20 years old! Absolutly beautiful results! Your body is amazing too!

Ps the right one was leaking

I wonder if Mentor will pay for part of the surgery? They did when the left one was removed......it would help tons since I an in-between jobs right now. BTW, my partner has been very supportive of my flat chested look.
Hi tiggerousity, I hope you're feeling good. I haven't been resting at all. I can't believe the date has come and gone and we are implant free. It's a great feeling and confidence booster for sure. Time will heal everything. All the best! :)
It is hard to rest isn't it! Pls don't over do it! I started to swell a lot and have scaled back to resting and reading etc....a tad scared of seromas and hematomas. How are you feeling? Can you sleep on your side yet?
I am able to sleep on my side although I'm trying not to. It's my favorite sleeping position so it's hard not to wake up on my side. I'm wearing a good bra to sleep in so they don't move around too much. Today is going to be the first day I wash my hair in the shower and get ready like normal. I haven't taken my bra off too long at all so we'll see how they feel after all that activity. I still have some antibiotic I need to finish, it's called Augmentin. I still haven't need to take pain medicine so I can save it for a time when I have really bad menstrual cramps! ;) I hope you have a good day.

Raging head aches at night and morning.....

I think it is the pain meds? Anyone else have this?
I have to watch swelling still. The left one is larger than the right and the nipple is higher. I hope it all settles down in the long run. I can tell I have nipple sensation- Yeay!
It is nice to be on the otherside. I know there will be days I will envy large breasted gals (or just breasted gals!). However at this moment I set an intention to honor my body and celebrate who I am- FLAT chested, small waist and womanly hips......the perfect body for the more modest 19th century fashions. Maybe it is time to buy a period costume? Now what to do with my pink whale bone corset......LOL.

Rough morning :-(

Feeling out of sorts......here are pictures of my compression bra. I wish wish wish this swelling would go down. And don't laugh cause the pictures don't look like I'm swollen at ALL :-/ The compression bra pushes the fluid to the sides of my boobs.
I have a consult with Dr. Moliver next week to discuss removing my 9 year old saline implants. I wasn't sure he did the fat grafting. I'm really glad to hear he does! Did he mention how much he charges for fat transfer? Did he remove your capsules? You look great by the way!
Yes the capsules were removed. Originally we planned to keep them and tack them down however one of my silicone implants had ruptured. I don't remember his prices for fat grafting. I am going in tomorrow for my first post op visit. One of my breasts is swelling and may need to be aspirated. Otherwise everything has gone as expected. Saline implant removal should be pretty easy :-) Keep us posted on you consult.
I have the horrible headaches too - I find it tied to the pain meds so it's kind of a trade off. I don't like taking the meds but a friend said that the meds help relieve the stress of the pain so your body can focus on healing? Still, I only take what's absolutely necessary. I have a lot of swelling right now too. Hang in there, you look awesome!

Serum removed

Just had my left breast drained of 30cc serum/blood. It didn't hurt but, was scary feeling if that makes sense.

post draining pictures

Okay, the tape strips are off and my left breast now matches the right. All the fluff from fluid and taping is gone.....let the healing commence!

5 days post op and I am trying to stay positive.....

ALL the perkiness of swelling and tape strips is gone......sad, bruised wrinkly boobies. However I am still so happy to have MY own sad boobs back! It took me almost 1 year to go from D's while nursing to AA so I expect it will take at least 6 months before I know how much the skin will tighten up. XOXOxoxoxox to all my healing sisters. I'm headed to reread all the wonderful reviews that show us how much things can improve in a year!
Girly you are beautiful!!!! You already have a beautiful out come!! You are going to see so much change just in the next few months. Just remember time is your friend :) great big soft ((huggs)) to you :D

Rediscovering the empowerment of sexy lingerie

Instead of trying to mold my body to the industry standards I have discovered some lovely lingerie for small busted women. Google Luva huva on Etsy.....sigh.....GRIN....this may be my new addiction:-)

luva huva sample

NO I am not selling these just trying to share pictures of sexy small boobs in beautiful simple lingerie!
I'm glad hear that you're doing well. You look fantastic!
Thanks, itannos.....I am hoping the seroma doesn't come back. How are you doing? Sending you good vibes.

OK...the tears are hitting 6 days post op

I tried to find an outfit to wear with my lovely compression bra......and realized how much things have changed. I guess you could call it grieving for the change in how I look. I feel fat- gained 10 lbs prior to surgery rationalizing a fat transfer LOL....sniff....anyway in my head I know this will pass and I am so glad not to have hard unnatural implants on my chest.....
However I feel yucky. I am wondering how I will navigate sex. I think I will wear a cami or cute lacy bratop. Ideas?
Bf is being sweet- saying all the right stuff but, I feel like he is lying.
your boobs are so cute and perky! You look so young and thin. I hope I look half as good as you!
Thanks! Keep us posted on your surgery. I am STILL trying to get off the tape they use on your boobs to tack them in place for the first few days. Acetone and lotion does not just magically take it off.
Don't push yourself....do absolutely nothing with your arms...let yourself heal completely or the seroma will just come back. Stay compressed...as much as you can stand it. Keep your head up, it's hard, I know, but you will feel so much better once you are all healed up. There is definitely a mental readjustment period, it's a bit much to get used to. But it's all for the best...for our health and well-being. We have to accept and love ourselves for the wonderful women we are. {{Gentle hugs}}

Ok here is day 7 pictures..

The skin is shrinking and they are not swelling any more. Slowly they are healing and looking better. It is tough NOT to do things now that I have the time off to do them. I do not want another seroma so I am reading and doing quiet stuff. Thank you ladies for all the


SUPPORT!! It cut off my end of my message. YOU make all the difference in the world:-) Thank you


just slipped and fell catching myself with my arms on the bed. I felt everything jerk inside and am afraid that I really botch things. :-(
Hi! congratulations you are brave! Do you have a lift? mi case is similar to yours a have a silicons for 10 years, and I will remove whitout replacement. Im afraid very afraid! I have 360cc, and three kids and your story help me a lot! i was 32a before and the doctor said that i will be less than before, so this is the part I still thinking about.
No lift. Not much to lift. I wish I had the before BA pictures. I was totally flat with not much loose skin. Now the volume you see is mainly swelling. I have been AAA before with no tissue and that is what I am expecting for my final outcome. You probably will be the same or more. Form what I read most women again weight over the years and have a little more breast tissue. My body doesn't seem to like to store it's fat there :-/ Are yours unders or overs?
I meant that you will probably be 32A or more......just to clarify:-)

Crashed emotionally last night

Well, it all caught up to me. I knew it would sometime. After accidentally jarring my boobs when I fell, I got really down and negative. Nothing was right and I thought the worst of everything. I couldn't even bring myself to go out to a meditation class- just wanted to hide from people. Plus this isn't a surgery you tell everyone about and I didn't want to explain myself.
Bf found me crying in the bedroom and was really emotionally caring. He's so real, human and willing to emotionally engage. That is what I love about him in spite of his occasional selfishness and such. He is a wonderful mess and accepts me when I'm a mess. Sheesh I'm getting teary writing this.
Anyways, I took some pain meds and we watched tv sitcoms in bed- Blacklist, Intelligence and Helix. A lot of violence but good diversion. I feel like i need to reset myself and cleanse my soul today. I should have gone to meditation and been vulnerable.......sigh.
I guess there is too much change in my life. It isn't bad- just a lot. I'm inbetween careers and jobs. I got divorced a year and half ago. I am just not sure who I am anymore. Part of my journey back to me- I am really trying to listen to my heart and soul- to what gives me life and makes me feel alive and energetic vs. what drains life and stops the energy. Is this midlife gf? I haven't go through menopause that I know of. Had my hormones tested.
~~~~~ anyways, once I can do the things that take care of my soul things will be better. For me that is dancing and yoga. I also want to volunteer while I have the time.
What gives you energy and makes you shine?

Keep your tits up and everything else will fall in place!

One of my favorite sayings that I first heard from a wise and delightfully insane New Orleans woman.

Black moon 1/30/2014

You are looking very perky! Hope you are feeling better! XX's
Thanks! It will be interesting to see what time will bring. The left is very swollen and needs o be drained. They both should look as small as the right.
Did Dr. Moliver give you the option of having drains when he initially did the explant? I have a consult with him next week to discuss explant and I'm now worried about seromas forming without drains...

90cc removed from left breast

Ok, I woke up today and my left breast felt much better than yesterday. yesterday it fit into my old 32d bras! I even had upper pole fullness and felt nauseated.
So instead of inserting drains they only drained it with a syringe. If it swells again rains go in. I saw Dr. Kendall Rheil (?) who just joined Dr. Moliver's practice. She is very real and friendly. Her speciality is breast reconstruction so that is what we talked about while she had the needle in my breast!
Draining doesn't hurt, just feels weird. My incisions are healing well so they took my stitches out. I promised them I would compress the heck out of my breasts this week. Fingers crossed that this will be it.
Btw, I truly appreciate the office staff. Wally and Christine were caring and kind and worked me ASAP. Office staff make or break a practice and they make it!

Photos 11 days post op after draining left breast

You have gone through a lot too! I am sorry you felt so emotional, I think you should do yoga and dancing whenever you don't feel your best. It will relax you and in turn boost oxygen levels to your brain leaving you happier. I know it used to work for me. Where were you thinking of volunteering? I think you look great for being 11 days post op! I looked horrible during that time. You will see how many changes their will be throughout a few months. Keep updating us :)
Thanks for your note! I haven't decided. Originally I signed up for the woman's center but couldn't make their training sessions due to work. Ideas? Dancing is so good for the soul! I think I am going to do light dancing at home while trying to learn the dances from youtube videos:-) Can't use my arms to partner dance yet ......
You are healing well!!! 11 days post-op, what a difference from day 1! Looking good!!!

more pictures

You had a lot of bruising but looking a lot better now!
You've improved so much in just a couple of weeks... and TBH, looked pretty awesome from day one if you ask me. I've rescheduled mine for March so I have more vacation time for healing. If my outcome is as good as yours, I'll be happy. The rate of your improvement makes me confident you will be amazed a few months out... Chin up!
.... also, I know it will be natural to be so worried about how we look. It's how we got in this position in the first place!! (getting implants). I hope you can congratulate yourself on this healthy choice and can look forward to the next stage of your life as a beautiful, healthy, natural woman! I know I am. Can't wait!

almost two weeks post op

I am really feeling off today. My left breast has not swollen up again ---yet. Keeping it tightly compressed. That is the good news. The left nipple has become extremely sensitive. This is the breast that was smaller pre BA so I expect it will be all skin again :-/ For fun I took my measurements:
usually my hips are 36ish but I gained 10 pounds and it all goes to fluffing my bum.
Maybe I need to move to Brazil?
I am feeling ok with my decision just sensitive about being naked and about having skin flaps for breasts which is what I had pre-BA.
SOMEHOW I am going to find a way to honor my body and soul. I am worthy of love no matter my breast size. This ridiculous culture will not hold me hostage any more!

picture that shows hips.....tmi

Well hips can be nice...my sister has commented more than once that I look like a boy from the back and suggested I buy more feminine outerwear. Guess she didn't think much of my jeans, cowboy boots, and down vest. She does like to tease me :) I think once you are healed and can start exercising again, you'll lose that 10 lbs and will feel better about your new shape. You know what they say, the last place you put it on is the first place it will come off. And of course, mentally, the exercise will be like a miracle drug for you.
Yes, yes and yes :-) I like my hips when they aren't SO full....size 8 right now. I was a size 2-4. Dresses from Title nine pair well with cowboy boots.....I'm feeling better after getting some stuff sorted today.
Seriously, you look great in that photo!!! And although it probably feels like an eternity, you are just 2 weeks out so I'm sure its going to get even better from here.

Good morning world! It is a beautiful day :-)

I have been struggling for days with emotions of not being pretty, not being enough, not being lovable. It is ridiculous how down feeling sore and tired can make me. Every little thing throws me! Today I woke up at 3:32am anxious about life. So I just decided that this cycle must STOP! My life is basically pretty good minus a few family issues I can't control.
Today's focus is gratitude.
I am thankful for:
My health
My partner who has been very understanding
The educational program I am in
My friends
The Realself website and the wonderfully supportive women I have chatted with here:-)

Here is a toast (coffee mug in hand) to ALL the lovely courageous women who are refusing to let society define them!
Aww I'm sorry to here the emotions your feeling. I don't want to offend you but I find the Bible verse at Matt 10:29-31 it says "two sparrows sell for a coin of small value, do they not? Yet not one of them fall to the ground without your Father's knowledge. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. So have no fear; you are worth more than many sparrows." That was Jesus telling us how God feels about us. Our own criticism can often leave us feeling unlovable or not worth anything but we must remember God is greater than our own criticism and since he created us, he holds us dear to him. Keep you your positive thinking! I have many days when I feel the same way as you and that verse really helps me to keep perspective, we are so imperfect but God is perfect and can see past our imperfections. Ok, enough lol! I just had to tell you that because it hurts to hear someone feels that way! Big old hugs and tell yourself "you is kind, you is smart, you is important" :-))))(
I love that quote from The Help! I'm doing fine. Just had a few rollercoaster days. Thanks for the encouragement.
:-) yes so do I! Roller coasters are supposed to be fun :-/ I hate when they aren't :-/ best of luck and keep us posted! I love this friendly and encouraging community

13 days post op

This will be my last picture until something significant changes. No change is good right now. They are pretty much the same size and the swelling seems to be under control. The left one hurts more- I'm taking that as a sign it is finally healing now that the swelling is down:-)
Hi I just read some of your posts and i just wanted to say i know how you feel about it being an emotional journey and this kind of surgery---you just cant tell or discuss with everyone. It certainly is a rollercoaster of a journey. You do look great by the way. I read the bit where you are down but you pick yourself up brush things off hold your head up high and get on with life--- I am still struggling a bit with acceptance--most days i am positive other times i hate my small breasts (its the clothes thing and trying to feel sexy again with little bitty boobies LOL!)but i do not regret for one moment explanting. I just wish i had never had them in the first place--hindsight eh! Onwards and upwards xxxx
I agree completely. Isn't it odd that most of us do find this an emotionally journey rather than it just being about breast implants. The support from this site has made all the difference in the world to me. All you ladies rock!
Thanks reed69! It is nice to know I am not alone. You have been through so much extra stuff with your explant! BTW you look amazing in a bikini! I definitely think the small boobs fit your frame and make you youthful!

Good morning world!

Today I woke up feeling like I was run over by a motor scooter instead of a mac truck! It has been 19 days and I am finally starting to feel better in the mornings which are the hardest for me.
Yesterday TitleNine sent me a flier for their new bra series:-) I love their products and am excited that they are focusing on cute bras for small to medium sized women as well as their trademark NO Bounce bras.
Lately I have been reading Dr. Kolb's website on silicone detox and research needed on the use of implants over time. My right implant had been in almost 15 yrs and was bright yellow (oooooo yucky) and had this stringy slimy stuff around it. My PS showed me a video of him touching the implant surface and this string goo stretching 6-8 inches. YUCK! I was wondering what that was as they couldn't technically find a hole in the implant. Well, Dr. Kolb recommends exchanging implants after 10 years because lipolysis can occur. What the heck is lipolysis? A biological interaction that causes the implant envelope to become more permeable and therefore allow things in as well as silicone out. She says she has seen intact gel implants with little silicone in them and no rupture due to lipolysis :-O
So just as a precaution I am going to start her detox. BTW, she had implants herself and later went on to study holistic medicine since there wasn't much known about how to treat heavy metal in the body. Silicone implants often have traces of heavy metals in them. Check out her site. There is tons on info and she doesn't seem to be an extremist. She still uses silicone implants in her practice.
Enough serious rambling LOL
Love and appreciate ALL of you beautiful women on this site. Your spirit and willingness to share this journey makes all the difference in my world!
Hi tigger! You are so wonderful to share this story. You look wonderful back in your smaller size breasts! :) It certainly is an adjustment, but just think how good your body must feel not to have those foreign objects inside any longer! And wow this Dr Kolb sounds like she has been a great resource and support for you! Did she also have her implants removed? What does her detox entail? Best of luck to you! I'll be thinking of you throughout this journey! Sooo happy to now be on the "other side" with you!! :)
Hey pixie :-) I heard about her thru someone who has surgery with her. I really don't know her story yet- just ordered her book. google plastikos.com

Drained again

Well the volume that I had was only fluid. About 45cc on both breasts. I am so sad, angry, frustrated. I can't work out for several more weeks. While draining me he poked me in the rib- OUCH! Grant it I am emotionally sensitive right now.....next doctor will be a female.
How are you doing? Are you still swelling? Hope things are better.
HI there Winrinda, Thanks for asking. Last week was rough. I am doing better today because the swelling is down. I noticed you have a sore spot? I hope it isn't anything but normal healing. Take it easy on that side and rest. You see the doc tomorrow right? Keep us posted please.
How are you doing today sweetie? Give it some time, look at my pics from this morning. Mine are not looking great at all. But my second go-around I know I have to hang (ha) in there ;-) You are looking good!

5 days post draining and....

I think they may have settled down! Yeah! Today I woke up feeling better than I have in awhile. The swelling must have been causing the pain in my breasts and middle of my back between my shoulder blades. They are small and funny looking but, dare I believe they are FINALLY on the road to recovery :-) Time is the loveliest four letter word!
Good morning Tigger! I'm so glad you are doing better. It looks like you are finally healing up and will be able to get back to your life before long. I hope you have a great week!
Hi flatnhappy! It has been a much better week. :-)

A website dedicated to educating young girls and women

about REAL breasts......this is so very cool
it is called 007b. Under small breasts you can see pictures and read stories but what struck me as the BEST part was the guys who posted in response. They basically said they were surprised that the women would be so upset over having small breasts because they have always found small breasted women very attractive! They affirmed that breast preference varies among men and to not worry. LOVE it!
That's a neat sight you refered too. My husband says it's not how much of what body part we have that makes us sexy to men but rather how confident we see ourselves is really what does it. Society doesn't make it easy for us to love ourselves the way we were made but I think I'm learning to just love my individual self and all the small or not so small parts that were given to me.
That what my bf says. I'm working on it by wearing close fitting tops (what I have mainly) and practicing owning my body without shame. I'm not ugly just not the stereotypical beauty. And if we are not for ourselves then who is? I think everyone has some of these issues at one time or another.
Agreed! And yes we have to learn to find beauty in our imperfect state. Even the steriotypical beauty has issues. Whether internal or not. A new song from JohnLegend says "I love all your perfect imperfections" that is just so powerful to me for some reason! I never thought of my imperfections to be perfect it's like incomprehensible but if I can learn to love them like that, it would make me a much happier person. Confident too :-)

Slow recovery

Well, it has now been a month since the explant. My breasts as still swelling a tad but, slower each time. I wish they could stay this size- about an A but I know that they are really AA. Next week I go into see the doctor. I am hoping he will clear me for exercise. They look better than my last pictures as the skin is retracting. Patience!!! At least they hurt less now:-)
Have an awesome weekend ladies!
You're coming along wonderfully tigger!! At one month I never thought I'd fill out and didn't think my skin would shrink to fit, but little by little it did. As soon as I healed up and want sore I began messaging my breasts to promote good blood flow. Don't know that it helped but it sure didn't hurt. I did that several times per day.....very, very GENTLY I might add. Now almost 10 months later I am working out my pecs and arms and my muscle tone is returning nicely. I began with 2lb hand weights at about 3 months post. If I flex my pecs it distorts my boob like crazy!! Guess that's pretty common, don't know if that will go away, only time will tell ;) Happy healing
Meant wasn't sore, not want!!
Hello Bird, I have a question about the massaging. Did your Dr give you any instructions (mine didn't) or do you have any tips? Vitamin E? Coconut oil? Thank you :-)

Doctor appt in 1 hr

Well, it is time to go get drained again:-/ I hope this is the last time! Here is a picture of before draining.....I am kind of embarrassed at how weird they look. But, hey I never had pretty boobs. The skin is still retracting (fingers crossed) and they just look odd. But, I am so THANKFUL they don't hurt and that those cold hard silicone lumps are out.
I am struggling with feeling good about my body- oscillate from totally happy to insecure my bf won't find me attractive. He is insulted that I would think him so shallow! I guess I have to find away to find myself attractive lol. There is *nothing* more attractive than a happy confident woman!
I don't think they look weird at all! Good luck today :(
Thanks, everybody, for all your comments. Definitely helping my pre-op jitters. I personally don't care how small I'll be after they're out (just don't want to be as big! :)), but I'm really worried about being saggy and unattractive. And I want to be that happy, confident woman.
I haven't even had mine removed and am already worring about it. But you are SOOOO right. Confidence is key! Breast do not make us more beautiful. Who we are, how we are is what really matters. I have to keep reminding myself


It was a short visit. He cleared me to do what ever I want to. He didn't seem to feel there was fluid build up and was happy with the natural outcome. I am hopping the skin will continue to retract under my breasts and the shape will improve over time. The right one is sensitive and I am going to hold off on running or heavy weight lifting/push ups for another week. Now I'm off to the gym to hit the elliptical followed by signing up for dance classes!
Thank you for all the encouragement. I like a comment I just read on this forum that went something like this " think of all the industries that would go out of business if women decided they liked their bodies"!
That's great news Tigger!! Have fun at the gym!
Thanks :-D I am fierce about owning my body no boobs and all. I have rejected my body for too many years. So it is time to give myself a natural bootie lift! And be proud of what I got. It has served me well over the years and I would much rather be happy in my own skin and unique rather than someone else's idea of beauty. I want to be that woman you see across the room and think 'I would love to talk with her. She seems so interesting and full of life.'
I agree completely! And I've been working on that natural bootie lift too. I started doing them to help stabilize my SI joint, but it turns out those same exercises help prevent running related injuries like IT band syndrome and runner's knee. And a better looking butt - what's not to like about that???

An honest look at my body

I decided to take a few pictures to remind myself of what I look like now. If it never gets better than this I am OK. I have on a BCG sports bralette that does't give me any shape but feels great.
When you see me out in the world give me a smile and high five! Love ya!
I think you look very good especially after so many surgeries and so many years wearing the implants,you must be very satisfied that you still have your own breast tissue i wish i had that too ..Good luck with recovery ! x
Emma, I am still swollen. I had zip breast tissue when I got implants. I am also 8 lbs heavier than I normally am. I am pretty sure I will be exactly wear you are in a month or so now that I can exercise and they continue to heal. Some days it gets me down. But, I'm sick of hating my body and fighting with it all so I am determined to own the flat chested look and get n shape. HUGS. Thanks for the encouragement. Life is too short to stay bummed over these things.....

I am going to enjoy where I'm at because....

I don't think it will last. Here are some pictures with the Warner's Simply Perfect Lift bra. No wires, just a foam roll on the lower cup to give you more volume. I might be able to wear it soon since it doesn't cut into my incisions.

Have an awesome day ladies!
They look great! Congratulations!!
Thanks Leo81. Have you found a doc yet?
I think you look beautiful! Also think of it like getting an entire new wardrobe-since everything will now look totally different on you!


She is so inspiring! She has a trim figure with hips and embraces who she is. With class!!!

It has been 6 weeks

and my breasts are starting to feel normal. They still hurt after 4 hours in any bra. I have tried them all. I think it is the pressure points so I alternate bras during the day. Still mainly in sports bras. I think I am a 34A or 32A/B. This is likely to change when I drop 5-8 lbs. In the Zee bra I wear a 30 A/AA. I'm guessing that I will be between AA-A which is a huge change from zip volume pre-BA. I wish I could get my pre photos so you could see how board flat I was.

Over all I am very happy to get those cold hard silicone things out of my body! However I had no idea how emotional and rough this journey would be. My counselor says that breasts bring up all the children issues and body image issues. She also says I am grieving for the body I chose to give myself by getting a BA. It has been hard to feel sexy while recovering. I am hoping that when I can get back to exercise- got side tracked by the head cold from H*ll- things will be much better.

I wish there were some way to send you all flowers or sit down and share stories over a cup of tea or invite you all over to a bbq. Seriously, connection and laughter and the warmth shared here when I felt so anxious and down really lifted me up. XOXO from my heart....
Looking good!! Pinky promise!
Thanks! The girls and I are getting to know each other now that they have stopped swelling. They are still shrinking and settling but, I'm okay with the AA I will be in a few months. So grateful the skin is retracting after all that stretching. When is your surgery?
Wow big changes since the removal!! You look great and have plenty of natural tissue!

CK Naked Glamour wirefree bra

I finally found a wirefree bra that works and doesn't hurt! It has boning on the sides of the band to give the bra extra support. I wasn't sure I liked it at first since it seemed to smash the girls then I adjusted it so they are scooped up into it. Voila! I love that the camera angle makes them look so big even though they are a small A in volume and a B cup width LOL.
PLS post reviews on the bras you find that work :-)
You look great!
Thanks! You are on Tuesday right? How are the preparations going?
Actually, I decided to go with Dr. Bednar in N. Carolina for an explant and fat transfer. After my consult with Dr. Moliver I didn't feel real comfortable about letting him do my explant. I kind of got the feeling that e may not have performed a lot of explant-only patients. I asked for pictures and they weren't able to provide me with any that were explant only. Not only that, I really wanted either a lift or fat transfer after my explant, but unfortunately I don't think I have enough breast tissue to make a lift worth it. My plan now is to go with the explant and fat transfer in July.

The new Barbie with REAL life proportions

You look fantastic! Did I miss the brand and style name in that bra you just posted pics of? I think I may like to try that one too :-). Thanks for all you are doing!
It's on the post with the pictures- CK Naked Glamour, The cups are a rather stiff foam that is graduated in thickness and there is a fabric 'boning' on the sides that gives it stability. I wasn't sure I liked it at first but, it gives my little boobs cleavage with out a ton of padding or an underwire.
Well there is my "duh" moment for the day :)

Checking in 7 weeks post op

Things are pretty good. I went bra shopping and found out I am a 30B/C however they fit me into 32B/C depending on the bra since most stores don't carry a 30 band. Linda's bra representatives answered my bra questions ASAP and were very helpful. I ordered some bras and will up date you when they arrive.
Yesterday, I coughed so hard the other day that my right breast had a sharp pain and is now sore? Has anyone else had this happen post op? I guess I am still healing. Today I put myself back into sports bras until the pain subsides. I was wearing a really cute VS bralette someone recommended. I love it!
I'm also lusting after the Patagonia dresses, thanks to you. :)
Always glad to enable a new addiction! Check out Titlenine and Athleta as well. :-D
Oh, heehee! I will, you silly person. :)

Into my 3rd month post op- about 9 weeks

I am still recovering from the cold and pulled muscle. Yesterday I went to yoga for the first time since my surgery :-) Life is good. I am still healing and the skin is still retracting. It is time to get back into life full swing. For those going into surgery remember to be patient with the healing process. Time has helped a lot. I am SO very happy to have my floppy old lady boobs instead of those cold hard silicone boobs!

I admit yesterday I met a woman who had a gorgeous augmented body and the green twinge of jealously caught me by surprise. Then I remembered that even given the choice to redo it I know I would choose NOT to. It wasn't me. I felt fake.....even if they didn't hurt or didn't have complications...it just wasn't me. LOTS OF



cont. 2

I keep getting cut off! LOL
Sending LOTS OF
Your looking fab xx
Thanks dear :-) I'm working on losing those 6 pounds and getting in shape!
Awe, you look so pretty!! I look very similar to you and mine don't really match either, but I don't care. I love my little boobs and exercising with them is the best. Glad you are doing better :)

new bra

Linda's Bra store in NY sells a bra by Duet that comes in AA-C cups.
I wanted to say "thank you" for sharing your story and insights about your explant journey. You helped me a TON when it came to my own surgery. I'm truly grateful to you for your posts. You look beautiful!!
Awwwww, you seriously made my day! :-)
Happy for you!

Normal 50 plus year old breasts

I just view the pre- BA images on the RS webpage. I wanted to remind myself what natural 50 year old breasts look like. Wow! I am so normal! IMHO the natural breasts looked much nicer to me than the post BA ones. Hugs and happy healing vibes to all!
You have beautiful breasts! I was just reading through your story again and I was wondering if you were still getting fluid taken out? My doctor didn't put drains in so I think that I may have to do period draining as well. I have had crazy migraines today and was thinking "am I the only one who had these after surgery" then I read your page and I totally related to you! Thanks so much for your story, it really helps to have people who have gone through this too!
I have also had awful migraines after having mine removed. I have dealt with migraines for years and I have had a flair up after having my implants removed. On a 12 day round of prednisone now to get rid of my latest migraine. I know they will calm down, but it is just another added "pain" after all we have been through! Hope yours get better quickly!
This is just an idea, but do you think it could be your body detoxing? I usually have maybe one migraine every two or three years so this is uncommon for me. I didn't have a rupture or anything, but I feel like its got to be related.

Ten weeks out

And my breasts are still shrinking. SOOOOOooooooo don't go buy bras until after 3 plus months! I had to return several of the bras I bought :-/ I am now a 32A. I held on to the 7 extra pounds hoping that the B cups would stay but, alas NO LUCK! So I am working on losing the weight plus toning my legs, gluts and tummy and arms.
It has been challenging to accept that I will not have boobs. Embarrassingly challenging. My emotions just won't fall in line with my thoughts.
My boyfriend is having an easier time with this than I am! Sigh.......I miss the power of a perfect figure....silly and trivial as that sounds I am sure I got perks over the past 17 years with a smile and a cute body. It gave me a false sense of confidence. A shallow sense of confidence.
Your story is mine to a T!! I am 53, I was extremely flat 32AA? got implants at 36 at a very low time- bad breakup, guy cheated on me- my self esteem was in the toilet. Had BA on impluse on loaned money (very bad idea). I got 300cc on a 98 pd frame. Just wanted a little shape, thought I made this clear to surgeon and woke up with what I felt were way too big. And numbness in both that has never completely resolved. Then I got terrible Grade III capsular contraction, hard as baseballs. I lived with that for years and finally had revision and downsize to 270cc two years ago. Thought I'd be nice and natural but they still seem too big (though I am 120 pds now) and feel already that they are hardening again. I am aware of them and how unnatural they are all the time. I just want them out but worried about the empty bag look, more for my husband than me. I'd be happy to just prop up whatever I have left with padded bras. I now care far less about what other people think of how I look than how I feel. I would be over the moon if I had results like yours after explant!! So pretty, truly. You give me courage.
Thanks Nan! Glad to help :-) It feels SO good to have those hard cold balls out! The body image thing is a bit tough at times like dance class when other women show off their stuff. :-/ I'm trying to celebrate beauty where ever it is and not get jealous. Honestly my bf has trouble with my insecurity more than my new breast size LOL. So I decided to quit being mean to myself and accept where i'm at. I bought sexy underwear- a first - and some padded bras to make my cloths hang well. I started acting 'as if' I deserve this and am confident. I like my figure even with its imperfections. I'm exercising for health and muscle which we need post 50. Have you scheduled your consult yet?
Hi, Tiggerousity. Just wanted to say that I hope when I'm on the other side of my surgery, that I look as good as you do. I exercise for the reasons you do, so that my body-- with all its post-50 imperfections-- will be strong and functional even if I can't be perfect looking. I want to be able to do lots of things for a long time, and this is the only body I've got to do them in. Also, I try not to think of it as being flat. I'll be streamlined! :)))

going on 4 month post-op...

Finally getting back to exercise! Even push ups! :-) My breasts still ache a lot and I don't have the nipple response during certain activities. The nipples are sensitive and get erect they just don't seem to be connected to the same pleasure cycle they used to be. I hope this will change with time. Other than that I have been pretty steady since month three.
I do have to eat my negative review of Victoria's Secret bras. They do have pretty good padded bras with work well for shallow 32B cup. I have to wear the push up bra to look normal and their are pretty comfortable. I tried the 32A since my breast tissue is roughly an A-cup worth but, they are too narrowly cut. I think the stretched out tissue is still retracting and hope they will be a little less splayed over time. Over all I am happy with removing the implants! I like having natural breasts even if they are small.
Either way I highly recommend treating yourself to pretty lacy panties and colorful bras post op.


Thank you for sharing your story - be kind to yourself - you look great!!!!
Thanks happy. It's been a journey.

Wow, sensation in nipples came back this month!

I am so happy!
Just coming back to say I think your results are amazing! And I hope you're feeling great xx
I am 72 y/o-have had 11 implant revision surgeries over 38 years-from bad to worse and am having them removed October 24th. If the end result is as good as yours, I will be soo happy. God Bless
Wow Twatson- your comment just touched me deeply. 72 y/o with 11 implant revision surgeries. That is a lot. OMG- you will probably be so happy to say goodbye to implants. Are you getting a fat transfer to the breasts or just being free all together? Best wishes.

Nine month post op update

Hi, I am feeling much better these days as I adjust to my new body. My breasts have gone through a lot of stages and now they ache as the sensation returns to the lower pole where my incisions are. There is asymmetry. The left breast which has had two capsulectomies is smaller and higher. It is really noticeable in pictures. In person it's not so bad.
I am sending good vibes to all who are embarking or already on this journey. It is worth it! Yes, there are days I struggle with body image and miss a proportioned body. However I feel much healthier and lighter. It has challenged me to deal with the issues that I tried to avoid with surgery.
Thanks ladies. Please give yourself time to heal and be patient. It does get better!
So glad you updated! You look amazing!!!!! I can only hope my breasts look like that when I explant next month!!!!
Thank you for posting. I am going toexplant after 34years. It is scary. I had one doc tell me outcome might not be too bad and another tell me I would only be droopy and saggy. It is funny, because as we age we get to a better place in our thoughts. You look wonderful. I am happy for you that you are 9months post op. Thank you for sharing your journey. You give me hope. GRAM1 Gram1

Nine months out

Hi all you wonderful courageous ladies! Here are my most recent pictures. My left breast is lower than the right. The right one had two capsulectomies so it has been through a lot. It is most noticeable in pictures that is real life.
You look great! I think you will continue to change-and for the better, although you look so good, I don't know how much better you can get. I looked at mine yesterday and, being four days post explant, they made me laugh. I have had sooo many procedures-capsulectomy after capsulectomy that I think it will take years to recover normal looking breasts but they certainly feel soft and wonderful. God Bless and thanks for sharing....
You look adorable! You wear the smaller boobs so much better!
Dr. Moliver

My experience has been good with Dr. Moliver. He has done all my augmentation surgeries plus my explant.

4 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
4 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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