16 Years of Implants with 3 Surgeries (Saline; Saline to silicone; Repair silicone rupture with CC)- Texas
I am finally going for a consultation this week. ...
At 50 years old I am so ready to embrace who I am and not who I thought I needed to be. Like so many here I got implants at a low time of my life (single mum) at the age of 35. I had NO breast tissue after nursing 3 children- literally a size AAA or less. Before nursing I was a solid A to small B. I had one 18 yr old lifeguard ask me if I had a mastectomy!! He said I was so cute otherwise and figured I must have had cancer!
They did the trick and resolved my insecurities about breast size. However the 360cc saline where too heavy for my thin skin so I switched to silicone. Then as a guy hugged me too tight and my silicone implant ruptured- I didn't know it for sure how ever micro fevers followed for several years and the left breast became hard. The third surgery was to get rid of the capsular contraction. Funny the PS didn't think it was a ruptured implant and had to really clean everything up and remove the capsule. That is when the left side changed and didn't match the right- larger pocket and different shape.
I wasn't thrilled because the left breast never felt right. The implant moves a lot and it feels like it is pinching a nerve. More recently I had an ultrasound of my heart because my left side felt funny. I finally realized it might be the implant. So I started doing research on implant removal and found Realself. Thank G-d because I am driving my bf nuts and need some women to chat with about this.
Thanks for reading my story!
TED talk hang inthere to 3/4 through she has an awesome point
I love her point about body types and confidence!!!
Great consult with Dr. Moliver
He did my last surgery and he does a nice job. Now I need to do some more research. I have a feeling I will go with option one and save for fat graphing if needed. :-)
ps...I didn't realize I had low grade cc on the right side :-o
I'll be honest it will be tough to have my tummy stick out as much as my chest. And I have no tummy really. I am prepping to battle with body image.
Preop appt today :-0
Wore myself out at a dance camp
Any suggestions for where to find a post op sports bra?
I wonder whether it will all work out
Trouble locating sports bras that are xs/30-32 that zip or latch
post op finally
The worst part of my surgery was arguing with my boyfriend on the way to surgery :-/
Pictures 5 hours post op
36 hours post op
It been a perfect day to curl up and read (Divergent by Roth) young adult fiction. That's about my speed while on pain meds.
Gentle hugs to all of my explant sisters. You are all in my prayers. And I am so thankful for each woman who writes a review and shares. You make such a difference! This experience would be harder and lonelier with out you.
48 hrs post op
Ps the right one was leaking
Raging head aches at night and morning.....
I have to watch swelling still. The left one is larger than the right and the nipple is higher. I hope it all settles down in the long run. I can tell I have nipple sensation- Yeay!
It is nice to be on the otherside. I know there will be days I will envy large breasted gals (or just breasted gals!). However at this moment I set an intention to honor my body and celebrate who I am- FLAT chested, small waist and womanly hips......the perfect body for the more modest 19th century fashions. Maybe it is time to buy a period costume? Now what to do with my pink whale bone corset......LOL.
Rough morning :-(
post draining pictures
5 days post op and I am trying to stay positive.....
Rediscovering the empowerment of sexy lingerie
luva huva sample
OK...the tears are hitting 6 days post op
However I feel yucky. I am wondering how I will navigate sex. I think I will wear a cami or cute lacy bratop. Ideas?
Bf is being sweet- saying all the right stuff but, I feel like he is lying.
Ok here is day 7 pictures..
Crashed emotionally last night
Bf found me crying in the bedroom and was really emotionally caring. He's so real, human and willing to emotionally engage. That is what I love about him in spite of his occasional selfishness and such. He is a wonderful mess and accepts me when I'm a mess. Sheesh I'm getting teary writing this.
Anyways, I took some pain meds and we watched tv sitcoms in bed- Blacklist, Intelligence and Helix. A lot of violence but good diversion. I feel like i need to reset myself and cleanse my soul today. I should have gone to meditation and been vulnerable.......sigh.
I guess there is too much change in my life. It isn't bad- just a lot. I'm inbetween careers and jobs. I got divorced a year and half ago. I am just not sure who I am anymore. Part of my journey back to me- I am really trying to listen to my heart and soul- to what gives me life and makes me feel alive and energetic vs. what drains life and stops the energy. Is this midlife gf? I haven't go through menopause that I know of. Had my hormones tested.
~~~~~ anyways, once I can do the things that take care of my soul things will be better. For me that is dancing and yoga. I also want to volunteer while I have the time.
What gives you energy and makes you shine?
Keep your tits up and everything else will fall in place!
Black moon 1/30/2014
90cc removed from left breast
So instead of inserting drains they only drained it with a syringe. If it swells again rains go in. I saw Dr. Kendall Rheil (?) who just joined Dr. Moliver's practice. She is very real and friendly. Her speciality is breast reconstruction so that is what we talked about while she had the needle in my breast!
Draining doesn't hurt, just feels weird. My incisions are healing well so they took my stitches out. I promised them I would compress the heck out of my breasts this week. Fingers crossed that this will be it.
Btw, I truly appreciate the office staff. Wally and Christine were caring and kind and worked me ASAP. Office staff make or break a practice and they make it!
almost two weeks post op
usually my hips are 36ish but I gained 10 pounds and it all goes to fluffing my bum.
Maybe I need to move to Brazil?
I am feeling ok with my decision just sensitive about being naked and about having skin flaps for breasts which is what I had pre-BA.
SOMEHOW I am going to find a way to honor my body and soul. I am worthy of love no matter my breast size. This ridiculous culture will not hold me hostage any more!
picture that shows hips.....tmi
Good morning world! It is a beautiful day :-)
Today's focus is gratitude.
I am thankful for:
My partner who has been very understanding
The educational program I am in
The Realself website and the wonderfully supportive women I have chatted with here:-)
Here is a toast (coffee mug in hand) to ALL the lovely courageous women who are refusing to let society define them!
13 days post op
Good morning world!
Yesterday TitleNine sent me a flier for their new bra series:-) I love their products and am excited that they are focusing on cute bras for small to medium sized women as well as their trademark NO Bounce bras.
Lately I have been reading Dr. Kolb's website on silicone detox and research needed on the use of implants over time. My right implant had been in almost 15 yrs and was bright yellow (oooooo yucky) and had this stringy slimy stuff around it. My PS showed me a video of him touching the implant surface and this string goo stretching 6-8 inches. YUCK! I was wondering what that was as they couldn't technically find a hole in the implant. Well, Dr. Kolb recommends exchanging implants after 10 years because lipolysis can occur. What the heck is lipolysis? A biological interaction that causes the implant envelope to become more permeable and therefore allow things in as well as silicone out. She says she has seen intact gel implants with little silicone in them and no rupture due to lipolysis :-O
So just as a precaution I am going to start her detox. BTW, she had implants herself and later went on to study holistic medicine since there wasn't much known about how to treat heavy metal in the body. Silicone implants often have traces of heavy metals in them. Check out her site. There is tons on info and she doesn't seem to be an extremist. She still uses silicone implants in her practice.
Enough serious rambling LOL
Love and appreciate ALL of you beautiful women on this site. Your spirit and willingness to share this journey makes all the difference in my world!
5 days post draining and....
A website dedicated to educating young girls and women
it is called 007b. Under small breasts you can see pictures and read stories but what struck me as the BEST part was the guys who posted in response. They basically said they were surprised that the women would be so upset over having small breasts because they have always found small breasted women very attractive! They affirmed that breast preference varies among men and to not worry. LOVE it!
Have an awesome weekend ladies!
Doctor appt in 1 hr
I am struggling with feeling good about my body- oscillate from totally happy to insecure my bf won't find me attractive. He is insulted that I would think him so shallow! I guess I have to find away to find myself attractive lol. There is *nothing* more attractive than a happy confident woman!
NO ASPIRATION! WooHoo
Thank you for all the encouragement. I like a comment I just read on this forum that went something like this " think of all the industries that would go out of business if women decided they liked their bodies"!
An honest look at my body
When you see me out in the world give me a smile and high five! Love ya!
I am going to enjoy where I'm at because....
Have an awesome day ladies!
It has been 6 weeks
Over all I am very happy to get those cold hard silicone things out of my body! However I had no idea how emotional and rough this journey would be. My counselor says that breasts bring up all the children issues and body image issues. She also says I am grieving for the body I chose to give myself by getting a BA. It has been hard to feel sexy while recovering. I am hoping that when I can get back to exercise- got side tracked by the head cold from H*ll- things will be much better.
I wish there were some way to send you all flowers or sit down and share stories over a cup of tea or invite you all over to a bbq. Seriously, connection and laughter and the warmth shared here when I felt so anxious and down really lifted me up. XOXO from my heart....
CK Naked Glamour wirefree bra
PLS post reviews on the bras you find that work :-)
The new Barbie with REAL life proportions
My experience has been good with Dr. Moliver. I took off a star on bedside manner because he can be a hurried and bit clipped at times.