I am terrified. I've booked my surgery for March...
I am terrified. I've booked my surgery for March 27th and am very nervous about recovery - especially since I am a single mother and will not be able to play, lift up and care for my son. I'm trying to hire a temporary nanny to live with us for 4 weeks but it is sooo hard to find help. My son is 20 months and very independent but he still likes to be carried, "Up, Mommy" i hear constantly. I'm curious to know how other single mothers have done this.
I have never been tiny, but when I got pregnant with my son, I went from 190lbs to 265lbs at his birth. A month after having him, I was 230lbs and a year and half later, I'm 173lbs. It has taken a lot of work to get here. Being 5'8, I'm happy with the 170-ish pounds mark but my tummy is just devastating. I'm embarrassed by it. I've started dating again and have been seeing a guy regularly. I'm always so self conscious when we get naked together. I haven't told him yet about my scheduled surgery - I guess I'm nervous about what he is going to think. I do believe though that if he doesn't support me or thinks that I'm selfish or silly for doing it, then he is not the right person for me. I kinda feel like now I should have waited to start dating until well after the surgery. How weird is it going to be for him to see me through this recovery?
I'll add some photos soon.
I'm having a drainless tummy tuck with the best surgeon in Toronto.
Ahh exactly 3 weeks to go
Not sure if I'm ready to do this. Here's some photos. I never asked the doctor, do you think I have diastasis recti? My stomach significantly protrudes out.
Pre op tests done
Got blood work done today and visited my gp for a history and physical. She was great and didn't even comment against my choice to have the TT. I don't know why I think people will act so negatively about it. I've only told two people and one of them was pretty against it. They have a perfect tummy, have never had a child so I don't think she understands. The other was supportive. I still don't have anyone to take me to the surgery and stay overnight with me for first day, ahhhhh I gotta get this figured out. Surgery is a Thursday so I feel badly asking a friend to take Friday off of work. I have a friend that's a realtor so she could probably do it but we are new friends, not super close. Family all lives far away (and I'm not telling them).
What is the 45 degree angle?
I'd love to see an example of the 45 degree sitting/sleeping I'm supposed to be doing in recovery, does anyone have a pic? I think the best my recliner does is 90 degrees???
Things are coming together - just over a week to go! ahhhhh!
Everything is lining up:
- nanny secured for 4 weeks
- sister is flying down from Regina to take me to the surgery and spend the first 4 days with me, then I will be completely on my own ahhh!
- had the pre-op appointment, met Grace, the nurse and really liked her. everything was normal with my pre-op tests so I am pretty much ready to go.
- all paid up!
How I'm feeling:
- very scared, not really about the surgery, I know I'll be asleep and not remember/know a thing, I'm nervous about the recovery and how difficult it will be. I'm a wimp and I don't like not feeling well. Who does, but I have a bad back as it is and just that extra pain will be really uncomfortable I'm sure
- should i really be doing this - scared of the big ol' scar and the swelling for months
- i've started to be really lazy in the last week with my exercise and eating habits.. Im not sure why - I hope I don't think "they're going to cut it off anyways" I should be eating clean and preparing my body for the surgery but instead my nerves are taking me to mcdonalds and the corner store for Cadbury creme eggs... terrible. Im trying to tell myself as of this Thursday (exactly one week from surgery) Im back to eating 100% clean with no sodium.
- I have a dang cold.. ugh, cough, chest cold so im loading up on echinacea and vitamin C.. gotta get rid of this before surgery.. heard a cough is deathly painful (maybe i shouldn't use the word deathly on here?)
I made it! Surgery was yesterday. Here are some notes on how I was feeling:
- not too bad, they gave me a sedative I think so I was chill
- had to wait 3hours for surgery
- surgeon hymned and hawd about doing surgery because of my cough and risk of me tearing the muscle repair work
- went in and was knocked out within minutes. Anaesthesia guy and nurses were AMAZING and made me feel so comfortable
- woke up and felt so drowsy and incision sight was burning, tummy is all in a tight binder but I could still feel burning, was given meds and went back to sleep
- only an hour later, I woke up to them putting me in a wheel chair, sister was there to greet me and take me to the hotel room (my surgeon is out of the Royal York hotel in Toronto so every patient gets a one night stay to recover!)
- felt a little dizzy but not too bad. Got out of the wheel chair with minimal help
- propped up in comfy bed, had girly chats with my sis, watched tv, web surfed and kept taking those oxy meds, woohoo. Hardest thing was focusing on not coughing. I did it once and will never do it again... I don't want to wreck his work
- had few sips of soup, banana, apple, lots of water.
- got up to pee a few times, was ok
-took sleeping pill and slept well. Sister got me up ever 4 hours for oxy
DAY ONE (I think when do u start counting?)
- woke up hungry but only munching on things
- feel good but back/neck/butt sore from this prolonged position. Gonna get sis to massage me later.
- tummy is more sore today, that feeling of a million crunches plus some burning. Could be lipo sites?
- still controlling my cough
- beginning to get gas pains, lots of bubbling happening in the tummy, what do you do to get rid?
- sis says I look tiny but this corset sucks everything in, can't wait to see
- nurse is expected to visit thiS morning,I wonder of she will show me?
- I feel like swelling has stated and I'm a bit itchy under binder thing
I'm very thankful for all my real self friends, already had tons of messages checking in. You guys are awesome and makes this process easier with the support. Let's all keep in tough! Xo
Day two I guess?
wow, druggsy drugs… how i love thee. today has kind of been a blur. drifting in and out of consciousness. I am not sure if i need to be taking these pain meds to the max like I am but I'm terrified not to. Im going to try to switch to tylenol in the morning.. yes, that is the plan.
i coughed a few times today which was excruciating, I am so scared i've ripped his great work. I am supposed to be taking the binder off 1-2 times per day as a rest, but because i have a chance of coughing, nurse told me to be very careful and only do it once per day when i am sure i won't cough. plan was to have a shower.. fail. i just couldn't do it, not enough energy and was worried about coughing. my sister just removed binder and gagged while she cleaned out my belly button area and re-packed it. it is just a big black hole right now… not sure what it will look like. i have yet to stand with binder off, will do that tomorrow and take a pic.
food intake has been good, water intake good, i'm doing well at getting up to pee by myself. sister leaves in the morning to go back home. so my first day on my own is tomorrow…scared!!!
hope all my RS friends are doing well! xo
Day Six, take it easy!!
Had my first post op yesterday. Surgeon says everything is on track, but kinda made me feel like I'm doing too much all ready. I drove myself to the appointment (Toronto 1hr away) and have been walking lots. Then he tested me asking me to stand up, showed me that I'm using my abs too much and at risk of damaging the muscle repair. I admit I've been feeling pretty good so I reach for things, pick things up off the floor, get up and walk lots. I've only been taking a couple doses of Tylenol per day since day three and can walk almost straight. I was proud of that till he told me to walk hunched no matter what for two weeks at least, wear my binder tighter and just rest. So I'm now doing nothing, just sitting and being bored all day. I certainly don't want to go through this again so I'm going to listen. I feel a little stuffed up today, hope I'm not getting a cold again as coughing and sneezing are very painful. Has anyone ever ruptured their muscle repair or incision from coughing/sneezing? Recliner sleeping isn't too bad, how long did y'all stay in it? I'm adding pics from day two and day four. Day 4 I was (and still is) very swollen but I already like the results. I don't think he could have put scar any lower, love it, nice thin line. The belly button is just a big dark black hole, I can't even incision what it will look like. I'm not allowed to shower till tomorrow, can't wait!!!
Day Eight… getting easier!
So today was day 8 - one full week post surgery and wow, what a difference one week makes. If you asked me the day of surgery how I would be feeling on day eight, I would have never projected that I would be this far along already. Here's how I'm feeling:
- finally had my first shower on day seven.. that felt amazing, the hot water on my aching back was the best and getting to wash my hair and try to scrub the markings off me
- i can get up easily from pretty much any chair on my own
- still sleeping in the recliner at a 45 degree angle which i think helps
- i have not done ANYTHING since tuesday. Tuesday was my follow up when I over did it so Wed thru Friday, I've sat in this chair, watched movies, read books and magazines and just relaxed and I think it has done me a world of good
- belly button is healing well, putting polysporin and taping it up each day
- binder is not too uncomfortable, i wear it 24/7 as tight as I can
- I'm standing more straight today, and the back is thanking me for that. still hunched a bit at the shoulders
- tmi but got a yeast infection i think from the week of antibiotics.. yuck and irritating
- holding my nose so i don't sneeze, this works 90% of the time, its a great tip!
- mild cold coming back on, ugh, so have been coughing a bit, taking some cold n sinus and lots of fluids to help get rid of it
- nutrition has been bang on. very clean, high protein small meals and lots of water. I'm down to 164 from 173 on surgery day! (thats in the morning before i'm swollen)
- swelling is not too bad. I know i have not hit swell hell yet, so i expect this anytime soon
- emotional ups and downs all week, but never a thought of regret. I look in the mirror and love what i see, it is just a long recovery and i have to keep reminding myself of that
- my 21 month old son has adjusted well to the nanny, he listens to her and she lifts him up and puts him in the recliner beside me for cuddles and story time and its the highlight of my day
just the weekend left and I go back to work on monday ahhhh! I'm sure i'll be fine, it will just be an exhausting day. I haven't even done my hair, put on make up or put on good clothes this whole week, getting ready for work alone is going to poop me out for the whole day, i just know it!
wishing everyone else a smooth recovery as well. knock on wood this keeps up!
Day Eleven… officially back to work today!
So, I went back to work today. I honestly feel pretty good and normal. I put my binder on really tight though and could feel the swelling by the end of the day. I tried to stay at my desk as much as possible and was careful moving around. I walk 95% straight, my shoulders are a bit hunched and back still a bit sore. My tummy feels very tight, numb and hard to touch. The more I walk around, the more rock hard the belly seems to get. My binder seems to be digging into me. It has horizontal seams that you can now see on my stomach and hips - am I wearing this too tight or would it always do this? It is a Marena that the PS provided. Im hoping it doesn't leave permanent shape because it really digs in near my smallest part of the waist and so makes my hips an odd shape and big. I have my next followup in a week from tomorrow and would like to see if they will allow me to wear spanks or other tight shape wear. Hope everyone else is doing well and healing. Im very excited to see this final outcome, go shopping for some new figure fitting clothes, throw on that bikini this summer and feel amazingly confident and sexy!
Two weeks post!
Today marks my two weeks anniversary post surgery! I've been back to work since Monday (desk job) feeling pretty good. I still get very swollen at night. I think I've reached the "I feel fat" stage as at night I'm so swollen my pants feel like they did before surgery. I did go home yesterday after work and tried on a bunch of my dresses and old clothes that haven't fit for years and they looked awesome even with the swelling!! That made me happy. Just gotta wait it out! 4 weeks to go and I can exercise again, can't wait! Here's pics from this morning. My hips are swollen or those are my natural love handles, not sure but they are ok, much better than before! I slept in my bed last night with pillows under legs. I didn't have the best sleep, was kinda uncomfortable, not painful just felt funny.