Fraxel : My Journey to a New Self Image - Toronto, ON

The scar I set out to finally "address"...

The scar I set out to finally "address" is eleven years old. It is a result of an auto collision with a drunk driver I have never had the privilege of meeting till date. That was in May 2000. I literarily lost a chunk of flesh in the entire upper arm, the bones and the ball and socket joint were also gone. The fact that the arm is still functional is what I can unashamedly describe as an act of God - an undeniable miracle (believe it or not). Thankfully, the scar is in an area I could comfortably keep hidden and I knew to dress up with jackets, regardless of the season - summer, spring, winter or fall. It was never comfortable but I had no choice. I went through the years with a very terrible self image. The bone had healed considerably well, Physiotherapy helped me learn to walk with a swing of my hand (that took almost 7 months but God took me to that point). I could not undress even before my female friends, relationship with the opposite sex was a no! no!!! no!!! too. I trusted God that someday, I could again shop for sleeveless and short sleeves tops but the someday looked like it was never going to come. However, in December 2011, I could not deal with it anymore. The scars had improved and flattened-out over the years but they were mostly painful, (and very itchy during winter) so I started reading up on available and safe scar removal options, made several contacts with Laser Clinics in the GTA, read online testimonials; and eventually chose one because of proximity and the Pay for 6 and get 8 treatment promo they had for the last week of December 2011.

My treatment started one week after I went for a physical consultation and assessment. The numbing cream was applied and I ran back to the office (all padded up) to close. My long stay in hospital after that treatment left me with a mortal fear of needles. I told the clinic all of this (my phobia for needles) and my extremely low pain tolerance. I went there not knowing what to expect because I had now read a lot of super negative testimonial but it was too late - I already made a deposit and signed the consent form.

My First Treatment: Oh, that? a million pin pricks, quite tolerable to be honest. The burning sensation on my way home - it probably lasted for 4 hours on the average. The treated area was swollen and red. Then followed a bronzing of the area from Day 5. There is a lot of itchiness presently but I have a second treatment in another 2 weeks. I do not see a significant difference presently but I have faith that I will...

It will happen my sister and friend.
I know this just like I know the spelling of my name-LOL.
Satan meant it for evil but trust me, but God...
...and you know what? I already paid for my dancing shoes because I am convinced beyond every reasonable doubt that He is giving me a double for my shame...
Thanks Megan for your kind words. Your last sentence will not be anything other than the truth.
Truth is, I studied Communication and I was careful not to "break" my readers with the "horror movie" I became a part of on May 09, 2000.

As for the picture, trust me, I chose a very beautiful and modest copy for publication.
The injury covers from the shoulders up to the back area - actually, beyond the elbow.
I have no explainations to give for the use of both hands and the functionality I have received back on my ball and socket joint, my elbow and even the entire upper arm but I bless the God who is a "very present help"...

The primary reason I have come out (albeit anonymously (for now)) with this "story" is because I am believing God that someone in the years down the line, will read this "beautiful story" that is about to have an "unbelievably beautiful ending" and have reason to "not give up" on himself (or herself). That morning, (it was not even 7.00am yet) I left good chunck of flesh and some pieces of bones at the accident scene, lost more blood than I will dare to confess, was as white as a sheet of old paper in the bookshelf and thankfully, I was in and out of consciousness. (if I wasn't, I probably will have no review to write on fraxel - LOL).

Well, one look at me, the doctors decided on amputation and lovingly suggested it to me (How Nice of them!!!). The humerous was in an incoherent state, the upper arm flesh was ripped like a huriccane came against it but somehow, the all wise God had preserved the nerves that control the movement of my left fingers so still supporting the remaining piece (Ulna and Radius) with my right hand, I used my most courteous voice and told them "no, I can still move my fingers". Those magic words bought me all the time I needed to escape the surgeon's knives and saw.

The doctors equally expected that the broken bones would naturally repair themselves in a couple of days so they had POP on it and with my eyes wide open and my voice crying in the tongues of men and maybe the tongues of angels, I watch them patch me up with an innumerable number of stiches. (OMG, I think a credit in needle work/sewing should bea prerequisite for admission into medical school - well, just kidding).

Well, against all expectations, the bones did not repair themselves, my flesh broke down completely and what my secluded room smelled like can only be better imagined. To make it a little difficult for them, I could no longer take the pains so I refused all antibiotic injections. This did not help the injury at all. Again, I was approached and amputation was suggested because the pus and smell was not too good for my bloodstream and God knows what else. I held unto all I knew about God and I told them so I told them No! ... come to think of it, if I could not deal with ordinary needles, why will anyone think I could handle an amputation? I am sorry to be saying this, but heaven was preferable to injections, "pin" in the bone pieces or amputation at this point.

I was there for three months and in the last 3 weeks of my stay at that hospital, everything turned in my favor. The darkened skin started turning pink, pieces of broken glass from the car window started falling off of my skin, strength came on my left arm (although the x-ray showed a different picture). The arm was "shrunk" to the size of the humerous bone but if you look at the picture I sent, you will agree with me that a force beyod human comprehension is truly at work.

I am grateful to be alive today but I cannot wait to have my brand new arm. You can be sure I will publish all of them - including the ones I have retained now(LOL).

What an amazing story!! Good for you for holding onto what you knew to be true, even when you were being counseled in the opposite direction. That takes an amazing amount of both faith, and courage.

Please continue to post. I know others will be inspired by what you are sharing.

Believing the best for you - and can't wait to see it happen!

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