Getting my Breast Implants Removed - Toronto, ON

I am 27 years old and have had my silicone...

I am 27 years old and have had my silicone implants for 6 years now. Biggest mistake of my life and I know I got them for the wrong reason. I am 5'4 and 105lbs with 450cc. Pre-op I was a 32 B now I and a 32D. I have has 3 additional surgeries over the 6 years (about 1 every year and a half) to remove the capsule that was causing pain and deformation(1 on the right and 2 on the left). Now my right breast has again formed scar tissue creating pain and a lump that is getting worse by the day. At this point I have decided to just get them removed, I just don't want them anymore but I am extremely scared of the outcome and what they will look like. I have been reading your wonderful and encouraging stories over the past few months but I am still so very worried about how I will look after they are removed. After my last "re-do" my PS (Dr. Zorn is who did my initial bs as well as the 3 after) told me that she had to remove a lot of breast tissue from the right breast...this worries me because I am afraid the right one will be way more deformed then the left considering that one only had 1 re-do.

I have already booked my surgery for November 15/13 with Dr. Jugenburg. During my consultation I asked a million questions! He did tell me that because of my age, I have not gained or lost weight over the years and the fact that I have never had kids, they should be fine. When I asked him what my realistic expectations afterwards should be, he said I will be a thin flat chested woman (which I am fine with!) I have looked at many of the photos on this site and everybody looks beautiful after! I am just so very worried I will be the exception and I will look like a monster with them out. Besides my mother, everyone was shocked to hear that I want them removed and think I'm crazy because they think I look great with my implants...but they are not the one's living with the pain, the sore back, not being able to sleep on my stomach for the past 6 years.

I am honestly a nervous reck though! I am scared I am going to make the 2nd biggest mistake of my life by getting them removed. I am not having a lift done so I am praying everyday that I am making the right decision.

If there is anybody out there that is in or has been in the same situation as me I would really like to hear from you or anyone for that matter that can offer me some advice I would really appreciate it.

I do not have any before pics but I will post current ones

Pics

Here are some pics
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Comments (7)

I think your age and skin will be in your favor! Especially since you are a non smoker and have maintained a consistent weight since implants! Keep us updated!
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I'm sorry Michelle, I just re-read your post. I didn't realize you were experiencing extreme pain. (I apologize, I'm out of it from the anesthetic) I'm sorry you are going through this and please try not to be regretful of your augment being that it was the biggest mistake of your life. Remember all major events (elective and non-elective surgery included) happens for a reason. You may have had poor body image or in a relationship with someone that made you feel lacking.. and now you know you don't need them! I wish I was as self assured and at your age! You needed these lessons. Like me, you will most likely be unhappy with the result of taking them out as they are large, you are slight, I can see your skin is tight so they will deflate and sag. Mine looked very similar to yours. Keep an open mind that a lift is possible and will most likely be the route you take following the removal. Best
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Hi Michelle, I have had my 651cc high profile implants removed. It's 4am (I'm in Toronto too and sleepless with my head spinning. I knew the outcome was going to be a shock and I thought I was as best prepared as I could be but I am devastated. I had severe complications with my right breast which resulted in the removal of it 14 days ago. My PS advised me that I would need to let it heal for 6-12 months before I could re-insert. My left breast had healed so beautifully that I decided to leave it in and wear a prosthetic for the other until I had it replaced next year worrying that if I took it out I could cause problems for that one later. After much 'soul listening' I decided to have the other removed which I did have performed today. I have gone through so much over the last 4 months with my breast; having to resign from my job of over 5 years, emotionally, physically (I was an avid fitness girl) mentally, so many medications (on my 14th course of antibiotics, I now have pain medication dependency) The toll it has taken on my husband, the worry it has caused my family... I have a full life filled with so much love and happiness yet I realize now, so much of me was defined by the way I looked. One of my worst nightmares was the thought of not being able to have my implants. They were part of me and have been for over 10 years. As vain and as horrible as it sounds, a pain they were like you mention to sleep with etc but I didn't want to be flat and DEFINITELY not saggy and deflated. I'm 30, a former model and have breast implants since I was 19. When I had my right removed I felt such relief from a pain stand point and despite the flat, deflated and lined appearance, I decided to have the left removed for a few reasons. One, I didn't like the thought of a cumbersome prosthetic for the next year which was actually just a sample implant like the ones you try on in your surgeons office but more importantly I am hoping to be able to find acceptance of myself this way. And by this way, I mean saggy, and deflated. I know that although my shape may improve SLIGHTLY over the course of 3-6 months as my surgeon says, the final outcome will never ever be pretty should I choose to leave them out which is my husband and family's preference of course. My husband's love and support is what allowed me to come to this point of acceptance that I don't want to be defined by my breasts and when I say defined I mean this is a self definition. Although they did get attention, I know now it was me that was me that was breast obsessed and felt if I didn't have them I would be lacking. Despite the fact that I pretty much acknowledge that I will never be comfortable without a bra in front of my husband or at least for a very long time, I felt peace making this decision to take out the left. I will admit I also find peace that I have the option to replace them in one year which is not without risks and more scarring as I would most likely insist he enter a different spot not to disrupt under once it is healed but I sure did hope I would grow to be comfortable with my new body never having to deal with anymore of this horror again. But, I am devastated. As shocked as I was with the right's appearance, I couldn't control my emotions in recovery as I dressed and saw it for the first time. It is different then the right, saggier and different shape. I can't understand it because they weren't different before the implants and they looked exactly the same with them (same cc in both). They are just different. My defense is kicking in and although I don't think I can go through implants again in a year nor do I think it's smart as I want a baby and plan to start trying in about a years time, I will have to do something reconstruction either a lift or a smaller more natural looking implant. Michelle, I commend you for having the courage to want to do this so I write this to give you for some insight. Although I ended up needing to have it replaced because it was ruptured, a few words float in my head; If it isn't broken don't fix it, be careful what you wish for, grass is always greener, you could end up opening a can of worms (surgical complications, emotional trauma being unhappy after having them removed), think worst case scenario as there are no guarantees and although it of key importance to trust your surgeon- their word is not golden. Mistakes can be made. They can not predict the future, how you or your skin heals. Although I am being a little contradictory in that I do believe major events in life happen for a reason and I was meant to go through this for personal acceptance and enlightenment, again, aside from the rupture that needed to be replaced, if I had only a capsular contracture, and was like you in that I was just felt they were uncomfortable at times but no health problems or body image issues about them, looking at what I am left with now, I would have left them well alone. Strong words but it is my hope to give you some things to think about so that you don't end up going into this blind as I was feeling the devastation I do. This is my story: My first surgery was done by a surgeon who placed implants that were too large for my small frame (5'6 115lbs) which I had no problems with at all except for the size. I had them removed and replaced with 300cc along with a lift as although I was young, my frame was so slight that after the large implants, my new PS felt I would not be happy with the result. Thankfully I scarred beautifully so much so that at no time during relationships did anyone notice and my husband as surprised when I told him as he had never noticed. In my twenties although still small framed, I was no longer happy with the size and being that I had formed a capsular contraction, I had them increased to 450cc during that procedure as well. I was somewhat pleased with the result but frustrated that what I communicated was not fully carried out. I was specific about wanting width as I dislike the appearance of a narrow, projected breast. He gave me a very projected breast but it was not as full as I had hoped. (Frustrating after having so many redos) Last year I had noticed what looks to be similar to what you are experiencing in your left breast which I was unhappy with accompanied by some discomfort so I went in to see about it. Another capsular contracture was diagnosed but I felt something was wrong in addition so although I was concerned about another surgery I decided to have removal and replacement with a size and shape that was very well discussed and understood which I had carried out this past spring. For the first time in my life I was thrilled with the result. While in recovery my PS told me that the implant I suspected something was wrong with, had ruptured so significantly that he asked if I had been in any sort of accident of recall a great impact to my breast. I was very surprised as nothing of the sort had every happened. He advised me that I had an enormous amount of calcification in that breast which he removed and that I would experience greater soreness during recovery with that breast. I went home and began recovery and within a few days my breast had painfully engorged which required draining in office. A very painful experience as local freezing is not possible as it could result in rupturing the implant. I kept engorging which required multiple drainings over the course of the next 2ish weeks where at that point he decided to operate as he believed I had an active bleed which I did. I began recovery and within a day the engorging began again. He continued to drain again evey other day in office and this went on for a few weeks. My incision was almost healed with a small opening remaining that continued to drain. He said it should stop soon on it's own and close. Two nights later I woke up in the middle of the night to an oping that had increased from a pea size to a dime with a great deal of fluid. I panicked and called my surgeon to find out he was in Europe. Absolute panic set in. He arranged for me to see a colleauge the next day who diagnosed a stitch abscess. We spoke in length, she was wonderful and because all of this was so new to me and I just didn't understand why this kept happening and what was going on I asked her what the worst case scenario would be in hopes she could give me some light at the end of the tunnel. She explained that exposure of the implant is possible and it's just a bit of a waiting game to see if this resolves. Over the course of the next few days I didn't want to move. Unfortunately I still had to work but I was being so careful. The pain was significant and I began to really stress and worry holding my breath until my PS returned. He returned a week later and by that point I had opened up significantly and I can't even describe the pain I was in.. He placed 4 stitches to close the opening and off I went. They popped almost instantly and I returned a few days later to have another set placed and those popped within a few days. When I returned he told me that the implant had exposed and the rest of the suture line (he used the same scar line as all previous surgeries) was begunning to thin as well and would eventually open. He scheduled me for surgery the next day where he also placed AlloDerm which is a human tissue matrix placed inside the breast that within weeks would become part of me, eventually strengthen my skin. In recovery he told my husband that there was another active bleed which he cauterized as well. I began recovery again terrified each day of what may come and again I began to engorge. I called him in the middle of the night and saw him in office the next morning. He admitted me to the hospital where he placed a jp drain to release the blood. I was draining approximately 30ml of blood each day and although I only decreased to 20ml, I was released on day 5 after the removal of the jp drain. I didn't feel confident at all that I wouldn't engorge again. That night I fevered and had never felt such agonizing pain in my life. My suture line had opened almost completely, I was bledding profusely and I could feel the implant. We rushed in and I was admitted into the hospital. Before we were able to speak in length with my PS, my husband and I had pretty well decided this was it and I couldn't go through anymore of this. My PS had always assured me that everything 'should' be ok each time but I had lost faith. I was devastated for so many obvious reasons (my other breast had healed so beautiful, after all of this it had to end this way, I wasn't emotionally prepared to live without them, what were they going to look like etc etc) My head was spinning. While I was waiting for surgery to have it removed, my PS had been thinking and when he arrived for surgery he told us that he ordered a very large piece of AlloDerm this time (the tissue matrix to place as a hammock inside my breast which which would suspend my implant temporarily very high away from my incision line giving the AlloDerm time to strengthen my skin without having the pressure of the implant. My concern was that the implant would drop too soon and I would be in the same boat again so I insisted that I remain in the hospital for at least 2 weeks so that I could allow myself to lay still completely being that the suture line was so incredibly fragile. With or without the implant it was like transparent tissue paper. I laid in that hospital bed for 2 weeks straight only getting up the last 2 days for 2 minute increments each time terrified that it would open, I held it ever so gently and walked so slowly. I was on a number of medications and wore ted stalkings to avoid blood clots from lack of moving, I became completely constipated and needed enema etc. Was a horrible experience but I knew it had to be done if I had a shot at this. I was still bleeding a great deal but had a jp drain. I tried hard not to keep looking at my dressing but would panic when I saw the bleeding increase through the dressing. My PS kept assuring me it 'should' be ok. I was on a medication to stop bleeding and was discharged with the jp drain still intact with a pin hole size opening remaining. On the way home I knew something was wrong and returned to my PS the next day to find out it had opening to a size of a toonie. I started to completely shut down emotionally. The skin was so fragile he placed another 2 sutures which didn't close it completely as anymore he was concerned would be too much for my skin. I returned home and just knew it wouldn't hold and began researching a piece of equipment called V.A.C. Essentially this helps to granulate new tissue while holding the skin closed. The dressing need to be changed 3X/week, is a pain to live with but honestly my last resort. I saw him the next day to find out my incision had opened further in two spots. He ordered the V.A.C be placed and so it began. Unfortunately although it helped granulate a mm or two of new tissue already, I opened 10cm/3cm in a matter of 10 days even with the machine. My implant had to come out. My surgeon told me I would need to give my breast tissue 6-12 months to heal and allow the AlloDerm to do it's job. Depressed and saddened, I knew I had done everything I could. I had it removed 2 weeks ago now and my wound care nurse continued to visit me. The wound in a 1cm area would not heal and I found out today during my surgery to remove the other that the skin had grown into itself in a weird way (I'm too tired to fully get it) but that he cleaned up the incision to make it neater so I 'should' be good now. I have heard the word 'should' to last me a life time. All I can do now is wait and hope to heal. I miss living. I've learned so many lessons and my perspective on so many things that I didn't even know needed changing, has. Ignorance is not bliss so I wanted you to know how I'm feeling about how I look. I don't have overly thick skin but it is not thin either and I have good laxity. Our height to weight to cc ratio is similar and you have had them for years so I can't see your result being much different then mine. I wish you luck with your decision and hope that I've been of some guidance to you. I think although of sweet intentions, to have someone that has not gone through this before, it is misguided and dangerous to suggest that you will be 'natural and beautiful and rock it!' Being natural is a wonderful feeling but perception is reality and the rest isn't for me thus far and I won't improve enough physically to note without some reconstructive work to remove the excess skin at least. Just be prepared that that may be something you will need to consider.
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I myself am thinking of doing the same thing , and what u mentioned about the pain and the not being able to sleep on my stomach is 100% rite, and just like u i need to know if they will look like emptied balloon after removed and if someone can put pictures for after being removed
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Thank you for opening up and sharing here on RealSelf. Repeat after me: I will not look like a monster after explantation. I will be natural and beautiful. You are going to rock it! Please keep us updated.

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Well said Angie!!! She's right you will look beautiful and will love being natural again! :) you only need look at the gorgeous women on this site who are totally owning the natural look! That will be you! :)
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You're making a well informed and brave decision to have them removed ... So don't let anyone tell you you're crazy!!!!:) this is your body and it is scary not knowing how you will look but like you, this site gave me such courage in embracing my natural self! Things take time to heal I keep reminding myself that the now result isn't the end result, but I am so happy I'm free of my implants already! Your frame will suit smaller boobs wonderfully!! No one can tell how you will look exactly after surgery but hopefully you will feel like such a weight has been lifted and that's worth so much! I know thats how it is was for me anyway ! :) you seem to have had a few problems with them so look forward to your life in a pain free healthy way! We are all behind you! Good luck with your surgery and your journey! The women on this site are amazing - you'll get lots of support! :)
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