On my journey to become breast implant free

After I had my children my boobs got smaller than...

After I had my children my boobs got smaller than they were as a teenager . All I wanted was to be able to feel out tops and feel like a woman , I had thought getting implants would make me more confident so I proceeded and got my BA about three months ago, the first two days I was fine and then the depression hit me I don't like the size they are too big for my little frame. I have gave it three months already and I just don't like the size of these 350 on my frame. I called my ps the second day and stressed my concerns about the size and told him I want them out.

I have a appointment on 4/23/13 to see what he has to say about removal I had my BA done axiallary and wish he could remove them this way but mine are silicone and I don't know if that's possible , I'am just worried about how is he going to find my original crease because I know he lowered my crease during the BA to fit these big ole things in me . I can't blame my ps for the size I chose but he didn't help me pick out sizes either , I am just going to try think positive when I think to much about it makes me cry my lord my mother taught me better than this and this is the price I must pay for wanting something god didnt intend me to have.

Everyone keeps telling me to keep them , but there not me and the one that has to walk around with them. I feel like sometimes should I keep them and let my body be stretched out, but in the back of my mind I know I don't want them and I got to be true to myself .

Yes you do have to be true to yourself. I have quite a few family and friends who strongly believe I should keep them. But, it is not them who has to deal with the implants. Do what your heart tells you, you know it will be the best decision for you. How did your appt go?
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It went well he told me he would remove them but I would be flat cheasted but I told him I don't care I will wear a push up bra his nurse grinned Ill bet he was thinking stubborn girl, I also told him that I got this irritating feeling in my righty but he said it was healing I hope . Now I know he will do the removal I need to get school over for the semester before I book my surgery his nurse said call about two weeks ahead to set it up. The scars are the only thing that scares me the most .
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they hate when you tell them youll use push up.lol good for you
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Hello ladies I saw my ps on Tuesday about my...

Hello ladies I saw my ps on Tuesday about my removal he agreed to do it if that what I want he said . I ask him about how the crease would heal where he lowered it he said it would go back to where it originally was. I'm still trying to figure out where he will cut me for removal so it don't show in my swimsuit I ask about the nipple and told him that I've seen a lot of puckered in nipple due to removal there. I will be finished with school May 2 and that the day I'm going to call my ps and set up my sergery . I don't think my hb likes the fact I want them out he thinks I should get used to them and he don't think there to big either. He is already booked our vacation in the middle of June so I don't know how I'm do this and be well he is hoping I will change my mind. I'm tired of all this and just want them out . Lord know why did I do this to my beatiful breast there are so many nice push up bras now that a woman don't need a boob job , I've been admiring those cute little bra I used to wear and Victoria secret has the best swimsuit this summer for little breasted women that adds two cup sizes. I can't wait to get these things out so I can buy me one.
Get just wanted to share with you that I had mine removed yesterday n the doctor removed 434 cc the same way he went in. Underarm. You should be fine with recovery since you haven't had them for long. You will feel so good Just stay string n remember this you are doing for you n you only. Peace of mind :)
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Was yours saline mine are silicone and who is your ps
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mine were texture silicone. The latest style out there. My doctor is Dr Zienowicz, Richard.. He practices in Providence, Rhode island.. The staff is phenomenal and so is he.
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Well finals are tomorrow I will be glad to get...

Well finals are tomorrow I will be glad to get this behind me . I get to thinking man If I would have picked just picked a 225 I would be happy with this outcome. I look at other girls that got it right the first time I wish I was them. All my money spent on something to big for me. I feel like I've bought myself something I will never forget depression and scars to remind me of this mistake . My hb told me this is not like something you buy at a store and just take back . I understand and know he is worried about me and the outcome. I tell myself God made me and he will heal me back just like he made me . He give his hardest lessons to his toughest angels . I just wanna call today and say set my sergery up I'm done with school this has been my main hold back . So wish me luck I will making my appointment soon if my ps doesn't change his mind , he said he would do what I wanted but really didnt care to talk about removal I felt . Ladies I hope I'm not making a bad decision but in my heart this size isn't for me. Ya know what too my regular obgyn has been looking out for me too I showed her the knot in my breast after my BA and she sent me to a breast cancer ps right away , she called me just yesterday it's been a month since I've seen her , she is still thinking of me for some reason. It's good to know that someone cares enough to get to the root of the problem and she calls me personally . Maybe she might be able to get these things removed due to health conditions with my insurance lol.
You know in your heart what the best course if actions is for you. Whether you go gor smaller implants it just take the out we r here for you. At the end of the day you have to do what we will make you happy and give you peace of mind. I can say I have never truly appreciated my small breast size till now. Can't wait to flaunt the. Lol. Best if luck.
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Go with your heart, littlebell. Much better to figure this out now vs. years later when you might even have health issues.
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Hey ladies it official , I called back today and...

Hey ladies it official , I called back today and got a surgery date set for May 22 , I was thinking there for a minute they didn't want to do it , maybe because they really wanted me to like them. My hb doesn't know yet but I've been telling him it's coming this doctor is good about getting you in fast for surgery . I hope 3 1/2 weeks will be enough time to heal up because I go on vacation June 16 and I don't want to look horrible , please tell me things will look better by then. I hope I'm not making a mistake by doing this but I know at the end of the day this path is not for me no matter how much I think or thought I wanted this. I think if I would have gotten a smaller size I might have been ok but I can't change back the hand of time I got what I got and the size just isn't for me . Now I know I made this decision and put myself in this spot . I'm sure this wont be the last time I ask God for something , but I just pray He will be with me and my ps to see me through.

I will , I hope in 3 1/2 weeks will give me time...

I will , I hope in 3 1/2 weeks will give me time to heal before I go though, I love fresh seafood I wonder if eating oysters after surgery will give me an infection .
I wish I would have figured out sooner to get them out-dealing with the long-term effects of implants is definitely tough. Take it easy for the 4 weeks you have post-sugery, pre-vacation and you should be ready to go. It looks like a lot of women on this website realized after the BA that they weren't the right thing for them. Best of luck!
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Thank you , getting neavouse thinking about all this . One girl on here is having hers done today I think . I'm waiting on her to post to see how she's doing .
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Well six more days and it will be my big day , I...

Well six more days and it will be my big day , I kinda scared of what things will look like my hb wish I would keep them , I can't help but cry thinking about what I've done to my little ones, my ps will take them out through the armpit , but has told me that might rupture them , so I don't want to take that chance. I will be getting crease scars I'm just so scared because they were not put in this way , I'm scared because he lowered me and I don't want scars on my ribs I had the underarm scar to put them in but there silicone . I'm in my late thirtys I hope things will bounce back I had very little bitty boobs. When I get this done ladies I will post my before pics without boobs and with plus my outcome. Today was hard for me sending my money out I drove around thinking should I , I did it now time to put my big girl panties on and get it over I hope I made the right decision .

My before and afters

Wow I miss my little ones.
Your in the home stretch now. Can't wait to read about the freedom you feel.
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Good luck to you! I'm right behind you on 5/24. Healing thoughts coming your way!
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Long Tall texan, your day is about to arrive, just want to say best of luck to you! I can't wait to hear about your progress afterwards!
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Had to set back my removal

My hb job has got him booked up the day of my surgery , he ask me to call and reschedrule they can get me in like a week before my vacation now so I just went ahead and booked it for after my vacation on the 26 of June it will be better i feel because I don't want to be bruised up with people staring . Also I want to enjoy the sea food that might give me a infection after my removal , with the dates they gave me I would still have stitches in on vacation . I haven't changed my mind about removal though its set , now I don't have to think about people seeing my scars at least while I'm on vacation , plus it will give my righty more time to heal . This stresses me because I just wanted it to be over and needed that whole 3 weeks to heal, but I know it would probably be better so my family can enjoy our vacation without me being sick and taking care of me .
I feel the same, if only I'd not been talked into getting 380cc which have always felt too big. I only ever wanted to go fro A - B but the PS kept insisting I had these which made me a D .. I've always hated them and I think what if I'd just got a small size I would have been happy and not gone even more self conscious like I have now with these horrible big ones. But in a way , if I'd had smaller ones and been happy then I could have ended up leaving them and they could have ended up rupturing and that would be even worse, or just poison me slowly over the years. I wish too that I'd been as strong and as wise as you to get mine out as soon as they went in - I nearly cancelled the whole thing the day before but as my mum lent me the money and we would lose the whole lot if I cancelled I went ahead with it. And 5 years later strong and wise enough to get them out. I doubt there'll be much change to yours after only having the implants in a few months I think your body will bounce back to how it was before x
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Hi subs77 I was reading about what u said about pressure . I wonder if that's whats bothering me plus I think mine is setting on my right side lymph node causeing me discomfort could u explain how yours felt?
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Yeh my right one has never felt right, it aches quite regularly and sometimes waves of pain goes through it. I visited a PS recently who said it had been put slightly
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Made an appointment with my breast cancer ps

I've had enough of this nagging feeling in my righty , so off to the cancer ps doc I go this Tuesday , I just want to make sure this is no dried up blood that's causeing my pain . Also I will get him to explain how a removal is suppose to be done . He originally wanted to see me back in 6 months to keep a eye on the little knots I discovered after my BA . I hope that mamagram didn't cause this she was very gentle with me though when it was done . This pain is like on the back of my ribs and towards my lymph nodes . I going to make sure I'm fine before I get this removal .

My doctors appointment today

Went to the doctor to see whats been irratating my right breast . I seen the woman dr today that runs this breast cancer clinic , I told her about my visit before after my BA when I had to have a dianostic mamagram for those little lumps , she examined both breast real good and told me they looked great that I should maybe give them more time to heal before I change my mind , I told her its the size I couldn't accept and she went on to tell me her daughters graduation gift was going to be boobs , well I thought to myself I feel sorry for her but I might be ok if I had a cancer reconstruction ps as a mother . But anyway she showed me my report and no signs of cancer or implant damage showed intact in the ultra sound . She sent in the regular man dr I had seen the first time to do the ultra sound . I found that lymph node I was talking about and had him to scan that he checked it over and said it was normal , he agreed the right implant was kinda a little close to that lymph node . Well I told him I was planning on removing them this month and he knew how I felt the first time I seem him. Before I left he told me if you was not hurting would you have kept them , I responded I might not have been in such a rush to , but I would not ever forget this foreign feeling inside me is there. He said you do what makes you happy and wished me good luck and reminded me of my next appointment.
I am so glad that you are listening to your body and getting rid of the implants. Good luck on your day. X
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Belle, I just read your review. It's funny how so many of us share the same feelings about the implants that we thought would make us feel more womanly, self-confident, etc. Your time will be here before you know it!
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Best of luck with your explant! I wouldn't worry about creases and scars so much. They won't come out looking perfect anyway, so what's a scar to add to the imperfectness? Instead of, "I don't care, I'll wear a push-up", an even better attitude to have would be, "I don't care, there's nothing wrong with small breasts." You don't need a bikini top from VS that adds two cup sizes. Instead, show other women it's possible to be small breasted and feel proud of your breasts at the same time!
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Coconut oil

I found this at Marshall's it's made by Williams Sonoma pure coconut oil only $ 5.99 also the asain store sells some but it was like $ 9.99 maybe I will try that one too , now I need to find me some good olive oil they say its the best .

Two more days to go

I'm gearing up now ladies it won't be long now. I've been on here it's seems like for years now but it has only been about five months since my BA . I'm getting nervous about the surgery but I'm leave it up to God and have faith he will heal me just as I was before maybe not perfect but close to it . Thanks to all you ladies y'all have helped me cope through this difficult time in my life . I know it's not over until I'm healed but I'm sure looking forward to being little ole me again.
Best wishes for your surgery. You may want to update your review with the right date as it says you are already 1 month post op. I can't wait to see pics after your surgery. Mine is 7/19 and I'm so ready to have it done. Looking forward to following our journey and best wishes for happy healing!
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Thank you!
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Very best wishes for tomorrow Little Bell. Sending warmest wishes and hope all goes well. When you're up to it, let us know how you get on. I'm right behind you, 6 days left :o) Good luck x
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Tomorrow the 26th is my big day

Well today I got my call from the ps nurse with my time it's at 11:00 tomorrow . They made sure I would have plenty of time to arrive because its a two 1/2 hr drive to get there . Got my button up shirt and a comfy pair of shorts and my compression bra ready incase they don't wrap me up. My time is here and I'm ready but I'm a little emotional and worried that's normal for me ,I'm a little worry wart. Soon I will be free and I can't wait to feel that feeling again it's like this whole BA has ripped the joy out of me and my life and I want it back. I will post and let you ladies know how things turn out tomorrow when I make it home . I want to thank all of you brave ladies if it wasn't for you all I would be lost without your pics.
Are you having the capsules removed or just a simple explant? Sorry if this is already answered somewhere. I'm on information overload as I am researching whether or not I should have them removed even if I've only had them for three months. Just wondering what your PS is going to do.
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Good luck tomorrow. Take a deep breath and know that you will feel better when it is over! It's normal to be nervous. It will be okay! :)
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Implants are out!!!!

Whew I'm on the healing side now ladies, Dr boyd and his team was wonderful and he took them out the way he put them in under my arms. He also showed them to me so I could see there was no leakage in either of them . My under arms are a little painful but nothing I can't handle. He told my hb that I wasn't put all they way under but I thought I was lol. I have dissolvable stitches . I had a peep and they are flat but not to bad I didn't have much to start with anyway. I didn't want to tell you ladies that he is a general surgion but the ps here informed me he has the same experience as they do and went to school together. He is a board certified general surgion and has his own facility so he doesn't have to be ps certified only of he works out of a hospital. Also he left the capsules in because I haven't had them long. I told him today before surgery God answers prayers through other people and he grinned. I feel light as a bird now and I got my happy happy joy joy back ladies.
:) It's great to know everything went good...but specially that you are happy and loving your natural self!!! Have an awesome healing!!!
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You helped me so much by showing me your photos because you were close to my size I thank you.
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Congrats! Glad you made it through just fine and are feeling well. Happy Healing!
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Photos

I'm happy with this those where big 350s on my 92lb frame.
I grow a garden full of herbs mint, lemongrass , kafir lime leaves, basil. Looking on the Internet all these are good to tighten and firm. I will toast them in olive oil or vegetable oil and see if they work. Asian markets have alot of herbal remedies and the natural oils I will try. When can you start to massage your boobs ladies?
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You are looking great! I too love my A little breasts and they make me feel so much younger.
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OMG!!! You look sooooo good already! Yup God is great! And I'm happy to know my photos helped you, you are welcome sweetheart:). And you are very right, our upper body looks very alike...who knows maybe we are lost sisters haha. Well from here on out lets be forever thankful for our healthy beautiful little breasts and wear them proud every day. Take it easy I know you feel amazingly good, but you do need to recover from your surgery... Don't get too excited like I did and take off your tapes before they fall off on their own (oops). Take care!
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Three days post opp

Things are looking a little better today, my nips are still a little sunken in I guess it's from the high profile implants . My right boob looks like it took it the worse and that nerve feeling is still bothering me there. I thought this might go away it was almost gone before I removed them too. My under arms started to swell so I changed out to this top because it don't fit to tight around my arms and that has helped the swelling subside. There way flatter than they used to be but improving daily. I wonder if I can start massage since I have no incisions on my breast , but I just don't feel comfortable touching them to much right now. Maybe in the next week or two I will start.
Yay!! Congratulations! You're officially small breasted with the rest of us-welcome! ;) Your breasts really do look wonderful, and wonderfully soft! I think your crease looks great too! Your breasts actually look a lot larger than before implants-are you at a heavier weight now than that before picture or is it just extra skin?
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I wish I could eat a cow and never gain a pound , I think it the new crease they are lower than they used to be makes them appear to be bigger for now, I'm pull out my old bras soon to see if they still fit.
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Lol! Well in any case they look great! :)
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Six days post opp

The olive oil seems to be working some.
You are looking great! Are you using just regular old Olive OIl? Everyone seems to be doing something different. I see coconut oil on here a lot too. Don't know which is the best. I guess just keeping something on them so they don't itch, but do you think it's helping firm things up. You are healing along nicely!
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I've been using the olive oil one, I got it at Walgreens they got a section with these little bottles of oils with all kinds of pure oils, my breast seems to be firming up some this week. I just left my regular obgyn and she said I'm healing well it looks like and that I could take off my compression for awhile so the fluid could get pass where the band is around my waist keeping it there making me uncomfortable. And I told her about that knot that popped up before my removal , she checked it out and said it was probably a swollen lymph node that was trying to fight off my implants and it was disappearing , she said its normal for women to get these and not to worry as long as there not popping up everywhere . Thank goodness
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Glad your regular doc thinks things are healing nice. It's always good to have a second set of eyes. I feel like my whole body is trying to fight off my implants! ha! Glad you're doing great and thanks for the oil info.
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One week post opp

Their improving some , been using mostly olive oil . In pictures they seem a lot bigger than what they appear to be . The flatness is improving some I think once my scars heal I can stand straight and won't look so flat , I don't mind them being small I just would like to see the firmness return some. Also my psoriasis have been breaking out probably dew to stress my doc said , and gave me some steroid cream to clear my skin up, so sorry for all the dry patches in my photos.
You look so good! It's amazing how the body can just snap right back. It knows how it's supposed to be!
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Yes mam , I went and bought me bras today . I can still fit my orginal sizes.
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You're looking great, LittleBell!
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Finally took my tape off the scars and started mederma

I'm hoping the stitches dissolve soon so they flatten out some.
Thanks for your surgeon's info, little bell! I appreciate it. How are the scars healing?
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Looking
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Looking
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Scars

There beginning to flatten down now and one girl on here suggested ???? them and its working ????.
There looking
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Four days more days till one month post opp

I'm getting there my right one still bothering me you see how it's pulling up more on the right one crease the left is more round , when I use my arm to pull up its like I can see my muscle trying to pull my nipple downwards but its getting better i hope this resolved its self.
I was self conscious to consider removing my implants because of my husband until I read your posts Little Bell. Thank you for giving me courage. PS Try Maderma Silicone Strips for the scaring.
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Thank you and follow your heart and all will fall in place :)
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Hi Little bell, when did you start massaging your scars ? my PS told me to start treating them after 3 weeks.
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Nips are coming out.

My righty is still higher I wish the other would catch up.
Aerie is the place for little bras , check them out ladies very sexy and we have one at the mall here. I ordered a special impact compression with padding and took it back for the xxs but the xs fit too very good for exercise I'm post it when it gets here.
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I think you´re improving, you're looking Very good, I can say you look as your pre BA pic. I don´t know if you agree, but, for explanters who only had implants for few months just as us, are aware in every detail in our breasts. I am driving crazy and making comparissons, I just ask myself I had this or that before. It is so stressful. I´m depressed again, I just ask my self why and why I did it in first place, next week I ´ll be back to work and to accomplish the last semester of school, I hope this help. Because I'm upset, sad, depressed, anxious, god, I´ve never payed so much attention to my boobs, as the way I am doing know, I am obsessing with them. I worried again about myself. I never thoght I´ll find plastic surgery horrendous, I know it works when you REALLY need it. I just think I messed up again. Sorry, but I am so mad at me. I am in tears and hate that, once again, my kids look mommy sad and crying. thanks god I m with my mom. Sorry girls I need to speak out.
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Mozza, focussing on my boobs is driving me crazy too. But I think all of us are, just fed up, and have regrets. You got these out so you could return to life as you were. We can't change the past 100%, but we undid 80-90 % by getting the implants out ! The rest, we have to work on. We all have problem areas, they most likely will improve. It can get depressing, there are times of high anxiety and your peaking, it is sad. BUT, it is also liberating, empowering, stress reducing and and downright joyful TOO! Focus on what you have gained by getting them out of you so soon, instead of what you have lost. When you get sad be extra kind to yourself. When you get mad at your self, remind your self that you are human, and make mistakes, and not perfect...but you are courageous, strong, beautiful, and you fixed your 'mistake' as best you could!!! Have a good cry, hug your Mom, wipe your tears away, and smile at your son.! Think ahead, not back...think positive and take good care about yourself. Beating yourself up is a waste of time doll! Huge hugs for you! xoxoox
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New sports bras from aerie

I got some padding with support now . I'm feeling better this week the pulling has eased up a little on the righty, I'm not going to brag to much about that because its not totally gone though yet. But here's some photos of my new bras.

Lessons learned the hard way

I'm no stranger to the rain , I'm a friend of thunder friends, it is any wonder lighting strikes me , I fought with the devil got down on his level but I never gave in so he gave up on me. God has blessed me through out my process of getting and removing my implants and never left my side things aren't as perfect as I wished for but I'm me the way God intended me to be , I was torn and broken with those implants and my ps was heartless it taught me to never trust a stranger again and not everyone has a good heart like me . I'm stronger and wiser now I can tell you that and will continue to thank God for all I have now . I will continue to pray for the heartless and will always have a kind heart that wants to help people be happy no matter what that's how I was raised no wonder your hearts on the right side because if you feel it in your heart it's right.
Hi lady! How are you? I wanted to ask you about your muscles, since we both are explanted through axillary incision. Mine are doing weird things when I flex; how about yours? Could you tell me how your muscles are evolving since your surgery? I'm so afraid this weird looking is going to be forever.
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Both my muscles pull up now when I flex because they were cut and they have got better they don't pull up unless I flex them but my right healed up higher and still having nerve problem with that one but they don't pull up like they did when I first removed them and I would not change removing them under my arms my scars are not even noticeable even after the second cut on the same scar but I do think axillary messes up your nerves .
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Amen - I agree 1 Peter 3:4 3) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4) Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
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Inflamed lymph node

Well just as I had been telling my ps after my BA I was having pain on right midside breast after BA had a lump there that was making me raw , dull nerve feeling that I couldn't shake off running down my right leg from my midside breast. He ignored me , I couldn't understand why he wouldn't help me , I removed my implants because the pain and size he never let me try on sizes , I thought removing them would help my pain, it didn't I was still hurting a year after removal, well I'd had enough pain and my mama grams were coming out good it was just these two spots on my rib right beside my midside breast was the only thing I could think that was causing my raw, dull nerve feeling , I think during my BA they some how lymph nodes got pushed to the edges during my BA , but needless to say I got a compassionate ps to remove them and I'm pain free finally.
I'm so glad to hear that you are pain free...you deserve it!
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Dr boyd.

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