Regretting my sleeve- Sweden, SE

Ok, here we go. This is my story about...

Ok, here we go. This is my story about tattooregret. I am a 23 y old girl, living in Sweden, and luckily engaged with a great guy- the only problem here is that he has a brother that is a great tattooartist. I have serveral tattoos, which I am happy or just ok with ( all of them have been easy to cover and hide whenever neccesary), so I really didnt expect to ever feel this way about tattoos. I have 2 new additions from this year that I hate. The one I regret the most is my arm- I tried to make my halfsleeve a foullsleeve and I absolutely hate it. Nothing wrong with the work itself, it's just not what Ive expected and I just don't want to have it there forever. I don't want it there for a minute more. Ive fallen back into an old depression, and can't look at myself in the mirror. I am so so dissapointed with myself and this bad dessiscions I made doing my arm- and chesttattoo. I absolutely didnt think at all before I did this, and it feels like this regret is goin to kill me. Im lookin in to laserremoval, which will be both expensive, takin most of my savi gs) and hard too reach. My only shot seems to be the picosure laser, and that is only available in our "neighbourcountry" Norway. Ill post some pics here, of the arm and the chest.

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Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story with us, very sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I realize you are at odds with your new tattoos, but they are very beautiful, do you think you just need some time for them to grow on you? Being that you are not comfortable with the location, I assume you want full removal. 

Here is a link to our video section, this will help you with learning more about tattoo removal. 

Best of luck to you :) 

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Hey there! Welcome to the site. We are all very familiar with your feelings and it's such an unfortunate thing. Anxiety, depression, the works. Folks here are in many stages of removal and can provide a lot of advice. You've got a lot of color in your tattoo which takes more sessions to fade (I know this through readings, not experience). I've seen a lot of things about Lady Fade in Stockholm. You should check it out. Just keep looking out for places. Do your research. Keep your head high and enjoy life in the meantime.
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Update #1, considering alternatives, struggling with myself

Feels like Im going absolutely crazy. How do you choose from all the alternatives? I have a shot of removing the red, pink, and brown colours from my arm in Sweden, but will probably have to go all the way to Norway and the Picosurelaser to get rid of the purple, blue and the green. It will take such a long time, and so much energy, money, etc... And I dont even know if I'm possible to get it off me anyway. I've chosen all the hardest colours and patterns. My friends and family says I should keep them until there are new lasers out on the market that can treat all colours, but I really dont want to spend so long time in, what I call it, my "hate-sweater-that-I'm-not-gettin-off". I guess my alternatives are:

1. Start laserremoval at 2 different places, and get rid of most of it, while its still fresh which is a + according to my laserexperts. The last that I dont get rid of, I could cover up until there are better solutions.
2. Wait until there are better lasers out (not really a solution) and remove it later.
3. Keep them, through all mirros out the window and forever hide myself in longsleeves.
4. Try the tatt2away system, which seems to leave horrible scars.

Im callin a very proffessional laserexpert this afternoon, for eventually bookin a consultingappointment, but I really dont know what to do *rippin my hair off*

Also, as you can imagine, I'm constantly beatin up myself. WHY did I do this? Now I've come to that state where I wish I didn't start on my arm at all, and have become to hate even the upper part, a halfsleeve with an owl and a fox, that I've been totally fine with until now. I wish, with all my heart, that I was totally tattoo-free on my arms and chest, and I hate myself for not takin care of myself enough to think this thing through before I acted and booked my first appointment for my arm 1 year ago. Instead of comforting myself with natural methods like training, or doin fun things with other people, or shopping (haha), I comforted myself with tattooappointments when I found myself lonely and sad, livin in a foreign country without my friends and family. I feel so extremely stupid for fallin for that, of course my tattoos didnt make me happier. Instead, one year later, it's the tattoos that are makin me sad.

I've hade a therapist session, which didn't help so much. Will continue though, as I'm gettin sick of my terrible "sad-attacks". Don't missunderstand me, it's not JUST the tattoos on me that are kamin me react so extreme, there are other personal reasons too, but they've become the tip of the iceberg that made everything pour over. I've been able to handle my other problems pretty good, but with adding the problem of hating how I look and the constant feelin of wanting to hide, makes it harder to do so. My mom is getting tired of me crying all the time, and my boyfriend really doesn't understand it.

I'm kind of stuck here. Any help, tip, advice are appreciated.

Love, Lisa

2 Comments

Thankyou :) No exactly, it's the location that is really bothering me, plus the fact that they are'nt what I've pictured in my head (missunderstanding between me and my tattooartist). I have a lot crappier tattoos on my legs, back, etc, but I don't bother because they are so easily hidden. Unfortunately the chest and the arms are not. Thankyou so much, I will check them out and keep updating, as I find it kind of comforting :)
Thankyou for the support :) I will definitely check her out!

Scheduled for may 26th

Oy, have been scheduled for my first laserappointment with Fotona laser - with the r20method, to get at the red, brown, pink, and hopefully some of the other colours too.

Nervous, but excited. My mum is fantastic, drivin me 4 hours to the doctor. A little bit concerned about the healthrisks though, does anyone know anything about that? /the risk with getting the ink out in your system

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Hi there. I'm really sorry to hear about how you're feeling at the moment. Granted, it's a very large tattoo and it will take some time to remove it. As others have said though, it's an amazing tattoo so please don't think that everyone else would hate it if you wore short sleeves. Laser is always going to the safest way to remove a tattoo, and it takes time to learn which settings/frequencies/laser models work best for you. I would suggest trying all different settings and a couple of different lasers if you're able to, and hopefully you'll see what works best. We've all been where you are now, and it's a horrible place, but when things start to progress you will feel much better knowing that the ball is rolling. We're all here for you if you have any questions or just need a bit of support.
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hi, like others have said, your tattoos look very beautiful- but that's easy to say when they are on someone else:)! We all understand the shock of placement, size and not what you imagined- it's brutal, but you are at the hardest stage. By all accounts, it gets better over time, with research, understanding and acceptance. Re. tattoo rmeoval creams- haven't heard of any success only problems and there are definetly health effects there with toxic mixtures applied to skin:( Re R20- I have read the research modified to only recommend for black ink. 1 pass on color can lead to blistering, swelling etc. Either way, if you start with a small patch test/section, you will take it from there. Good luck with your decisions!
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For what it's worth, I think yr sleeve is beautiful and flows very nicely in composition. Although I had a scratch tatt (no quality), I can understand the emotions of regret and confusion in all of this. Like panacabaab said- I don't know if the R20 is best, as I have been told that it is very aggressive (possibility of increased scarring) and has not been proven to be any more effective than 1 treatment...but then again, no conclusive evidence (such is laser). Regarding the ink removal- some say it gets expelled and others say particles remain...again, very inconclusive. I do think the body works wonders though and rids as best as it can the negative elements- just that staying healthy and active during removal is key to aid in the detox of the broken up ink. I know it's hard to decide what to do, but try and remember we often judge ourselves the hardest, esp when we go through changes and trying times. Good luck w/ you consult
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The worst hangover ever

Now it's become really bad. All I think of is getting my sleeve, my chesttattoo and my thighpiece of me. All. The. Time. HOW do you break it, how should you think to be able to stop?? I'm really trying, but I'm having a hard time escaping my negative thoughts.

Goddamnit, it feels like I've been drunk the past 2 years, and all the tattoos I've collected during that time is the big hangover, now that I am starting to sober up and realizing that MAYBE my 2 smaller tattoos would have been enough.

I'll probably have to marry a millionaire if Im going to be able to keep this regretting-and-erazing thing up. Or become one myself.

6 Comments

Lisa, First off the regret is something we can ALL relate too... Second I also agree with the worst hangover on this planet... I had 2 and I shouldve left it there and just kept going, I also tried making my arm piece a full sleeve I guess, its just an outline that I have started laser on... But if you want to relate to someone with HUGE tattoo regret well Im your girl... LOL... I promise you though through time, networking, and once you do start the process you will begin to learn about yourself and start to forgive yourself... Im 24... and at times still feel ugly, like WTF and I look at other people with their clean skin or look at old pictures of myself and think what was my problem... BUT we can't turn back time... I have come a long way... I still hide in sweaters as well once you start the process its good to keep the treated area out of the sun... but I have come to be able to tell ppl about it and even hang out in tank tops again which I wasnt doing for a LONG time... Honestly in my rambling what I wanted to say is that give yourself time, and if you decide to go through with removal please please be sure because it takes time... a lot of time, and take care of yourself... I have gone through 6 treatments... I see a very obvious change in the outline, (Hard to capture in pictures) but the once VERY bold lines are now grey and non existent in some small areas... so the process works but it takes a long time... I have taken about 6 months off and gave myself time to just heal and reflect... My 7th session is next month... Good luck... -B
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Hei Lisapaolina! :) My best tips and reasons for you too maybe try the Pico laser first is: Nr.1 Works very good on your colors and are much safer for the skin Nr.2 You see very good results fast (faster in untreated tattoos) that will give you some peace in mind like it did for me :) and then attack whats left! Nr.3 My clinic that I know you have been in contact with are having the update called boost for the Picosure laser now in may or june! I think if you start with other lasers first, it will only beat you down even more :-/ I wish you the best either way! Mr. Frost :)
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Hi there! :) you know what, Im going to follow your advice here. Been calling both clinics this morning, and now Im waiting for a priceoffert and a treatmentplan from Eraze, for my arm. If it sounds good I will reschedule my appointment at the swedish clinic and go to Norway instead :) thankyou for the advice and your kind support! Really means a lot :)

At first, I would like to thank...

...everyone that's been commenting or writing to my inbox with support and kind words. It really means a lot, thankyou!

I've changed plans, and I'm not going with the r20method at the doctor here in Sweden. Instead I have an appointment next thursday, the 5th, in Norway, to get a consultation for my arm and then eventually get my first treatment with the Picosure laser. My mom and her boyfriend is driving me 8 hours for this, so I hope it's going to go well.

I've also decided to remove the whole armpiece, as well as the flower on my chest (in time).
My dream would be to be totally tattoo-free as my tattooregret constantly grows, (which would mean bye to a tattoo on my back, thigh and my ankle as well), but oh the time, and oh the money.... If I could, I would cut them out, but almost all of them are to big or located in bad places for surgery. I rather have a scar than the tattoos, though.

How is it with the lasertreated areas later in life? Are they more sensitive to the sun (for sundamage, etc)? Does anyone know? I've tried to google it, but could'nt find an answer.

8 Comments

Oh, your tattoo looks so lovely. Though I completely understand how you could hate it so much if it was not done in your vision. But it is not a bad tattoo at all! Try not to be so harsh on yourself.
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I am trying but the same goes for you! I'm actually planning on ridding myself of majority of my tattoos. I think I'll be happier. Haha.
Wow, we seem to have the same story and even the same placement of our tattoo regrets and I also want to rid myself of all my tattoos. You should email me at ***email removed***so we can talk personally. It feels really nice to know someone gets it. I started my tattoo removal on my shoulder but now I want to get rid of all of them and I am considering it too. It's torture. I don't feel pretty ever and I wear sweaters and long shorts during the summer. I don't really feel like this will ever end. Please email me and we can maybe get through all this together? I kind of thought I was the only one who started to hate all tattoos after one mess up lol
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More tattoos...

... I wouldnt mind to zap away, along with the sleeve and flowers.. Big, bright and colourfull stuff, of course. And not very artistic/ well done. I hate myself for being that "go-big-or-go-home-girl".

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I have to say after looking at your pictures again, your arm and chest tattoo are beautiful, and looks beautiful on you - I get it when it's just not a fit for you though. 
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hey, that is really alot a lot of ink to want to get rid of it all, why do you hate it? is there a reason you dont like it,its not that bad of work looks pretty average to me. nothing to be ashamed of are you scared what people will think of you? have you considered fading to get something beautiful and feminine, there are loads of amazing artist in sweden i can recommend ! it seems like you are depressed and its intensifying everything you think is bad to a much higher level, take care of your mental state first, be happy then maybe you'll see tatoos different, try meditating and finding hobbies, you live in a beautiful country
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and are a beautiful person!

1 day after 1 treatment

Yesterday I went to Oslo for my first treatment on the flowers on my chest and a piece of my underarm. The clinic was great, with really kind and serviceminded staff, I got a very good impression from them. We decided to start on my chestpiece and a piece of my underarm. In a couple of weeks I will continue with another piece of my under- and overarm. I don't find the pain so bad but my leg was twitching like hell when they did the flowers (they hit a nerve haha). They used cool air to numb the skin, which worked very well on me. The flowers responded great, but my arm seems to be a little bit slower (harder colours for the laser). But, I do see some fading there too, and it's only been 1 day :) I feel a little better now too when I've started to fix this mess.

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Hello mademoiselle. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I was watching a Uk TV program last night about Tattoos, which lead me this morning searching on the web about removal (pros ans cons). I found myself drawn to your blog and started reading your story. Very heartwarming and because of the deep feelings you wrote there, I am feeling the pain and anguish you are going through, during this brief moment in time of your wonderful life. I admire your determination, strength and courage to go through such painful ordeal. I would not have such powerfull character. Well I suppose this is a true representation of your sex, since women are stronger than men in so many ways. History shows that. Many good wishes for the coming few weeks until you finally reach your goal. Would love to hear and read more of your progress. Bonne continuation. Xavier
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It's incredible how well the Picosure clears the blue and purple, blows my mind! Glad you are feeling better now that you have started the process. 
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Thankyou so much Eva! Yes, it's not that the tattoos are terrible, I find my thighpiece much worse for example, but Im not comfortable with the locations..

Day 4 post 1 treatment

Have a lot of small blisters all over my chesttattoo, a few on my arm. My arm also have a "sunburnt feeling" over it. The fading on my arm continues, and I see breakups in the black lines on my flowers. Eastimated treatments on flowers: 5, on underarm:6, overarm;6. Full removal. The pink in my tattoo, that was lasered, seems totally untouched and I fear it's going to be unremovable. With that, I've started to think about maybe just fade the whole arm down for a fullsleeve flower coverup, and go all in for a full removal on my chest, thighpiece and heart instead. Thankfully I don't have to make that descision yet. Been considerating surgery for my heart too, cause of the size.

Heres a photo of my arm, all that is greybrownish were previously dark purple. The now orange mouse was brown. The lightblue stripes is totally gone.

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The photo

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Have they told you that the arm will be swipe skin clear with 5 treatments of pico?. Thats awesome?. Did u get any guarantees? :)
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Hello! They Said 6 treatments for my underarm, 6 for my overarm, with a guarantee of 4 free treatments after that if it isnt gone by then :)

First treatment om upper arm

Had my first treatment on my upper arm 3 days ago. Started to zap away the owls head and some background colour. Man, getting lasered in the armpit really hurts! The dark purple background colour is now blue-grey-ish. I also had the last part of my underarm treated, ending my first round there. I've asked them to save the pink flowers, and take away the other stuff first, so theyre not touched in the photos. As for my chest, i continue to see great fading, breakups in the lines etc. My laserexpert seemed thrilled over the result too :) I've hade more blisters now than the last time, and my underarm has been swollen for days, but Thats starting too get better now. Next treatment is in August. Then im getting treatment 2 for my chest and more lasered on my upper arm.

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I think you look beautiful with tattoos. But I can understand why you are upset. I recently got my first tattoo on my ankle with my best friend and I hate it. The artist butchered the picture we gave her. We trusted her because she had 9 years experience. I hope your treatments get your tattoos faded enough for you to be confident again.
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You are one strong woman, doing what makes you happy is key and yes your tattoos are beautiful but if they make you unhappy get them off! With or without the tats you are still so beautifulxoxoxo
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Hi, just checking in to see when your next appointment is, you mention August....is it coming up soon? Keep us posted and good luck!!
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