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My story starts in 1991 when I was 19 years old. I...

My story starts in 1991 when I was 19 years old. I had wanted bigger breasts throughout my adolescence, I was a 34A and in the early nineties there was no bra in that size available in Sweden, it was before padding or wonderbra existed. I felt that my breasts were too small to fit my body and I felt unfeminine as I couldn´t wear any nice underwear. When I met a friend of a friend who had had BA and she was so very pleased with her result, and at the same time my grandfather passed away and left me some money, I went through with it. Omg, when I think of it now, what did I knew when I was 19? There was no internet, so the only information I got was from my PS. I don´t remember him talking about any risks or complications, but maybe he did and I just couldn´t take it in. I got 200 cc implants with liquid silicone over the muscle, incision under nipple. The size and place I learnt later, I had absolutely no idea at the time of surgery. The size was ok, but I didn´t like the look of my breast any more than I had done before. With clothes on I looked great, but in nude I thought my breasts were ugly. My breast were also very hard and my nipples were all numb, this came as a shock for me, I didn´t get sensation back until 2 years after surgery. So the years went by and I developed an indifferent relation to my breasts, I really didn´t care about them though I liked the size. From time to time I considered the need to change implants, but I postponed it until I had had children. So when my second daughter was born and I was done breastfeeding, I suddenly felt how awkward my breasts felt. I had developed a very hard capsule and my breast tissue had dropped from the implants that looked like they were stuck to my upper chest. Not a great look. I didn´t want to see my PS from 1991, so I booked an appointment at another clinic, but that PS was so negative about just a change of implants, he told me I needed a lift, which was something I was, and am , quite sure that I do not want. I still have some issues with sensation in the nipples and I don´t want a lot of scars. All I wanted was natural looking breasts for my age, so I went to another clinic. I thought about explanting, but my vanity was stronger and I was scheduled for a change of implants 1 of April 2010, Mentor 325 cc over muscle, incision under the breast with an internal lift. Boy, I had expectations of the result, was I finally getting the nice, soft breasts that I had wanted all the time? Well, I didn´t. The under muscle position made every muscle flex in my chest muscles to make my breasts look deformed, swimming was extremely uncomfortable and the muscle problems gave me pain in my left arm and I got DB. My PS said it would improve, but it didn´t. So as a last chance to fix my boobies, I did a revision surgery in May 2012, and changed the same implants to above the muscle. Directly after surgery my breasts looked and felt wonderful and I was so pleased! But it didn´t last for long, after 3 or 4 weeks I discovered rippling underneath my right breast, it doesn´t show much, but it feels disgusting to touch, it is more like a crease on the implant than “common” rippling on the sides. Then I found this site and have been reading all of your stories, which have made me so sure about that I want an explantation, I have lived for over 20 years with implants that I don´t like, now is the time to go natural. I am 40 years old and so many things have changed in my life the last years and this is something I need to do. Unfortunately, my PS don´t want to explant now, he wants me to wait. But I cannot see why I should wait, I want it done and I want to be healed before next spring. So tomorrow I have an appointment with another surgeon, will see how that works out.

My consultation on Thursday 22 went well! I am so...

My consultation on Thursday 22 went well! I am so pleased, the new PS was very nice and I have confidence in him. So now I am scheduled for surgery on December 12! I hope this is the right decision, but I am so very tired on focusing on my breasts. It seems like the last 2,5 years has been all about waiting for the new implants to settle, wait for correction, wait again, oh is the rippling getting worse or better? I am really sick of these implants and curious of what my natural breasts look like. Probably they won´t be pretty, but I hope I am a big girl and can take it.
I am sorry for not having any older photos to show and I hope my english is not to bad.
Have a nice weekend all of you nice ladies here:)

Now I have paid for my surgery, no turning back...

Now I have paid for my surgery, no turning back then! Yes, I want to get rid of these bags from my body and yes, I am prepared to look like a 40 year old mum with very small breast who has breastfed her 2 children for almost a year each. But still, I am terrified of getting disfigured breasts, can't stop looking at pictures from some women who has not been so fortunate with their explantations. I hate to be this shallow and vain.
Love to all of you nice people in here:)

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