Operation: Take Control of my LIFE BACK! - Stratford, ON
- updated 7 months ago
This has been a LONG time coming for me. I am 27,...
- 13 Mar 2013
This has been a LONG time coming for me. I am 27, 5"4, 254lbs and am currently a 38K. It's HORRIBLE! I started developing really early. I don't even know when. But I remember being 8 years old and my sister in law bought me a cup type bra as a gift one holiday. It was SO embarrassing. I've had body image issues ever since. My breasts just kept growing and growing and growing. I was made fun of a lot in school because not only were they so big, but I was the only one who had breasts - for literally years. I ate a lot because food just made me feel better and once I started gaining weight my breasts didn't seem so big on comparison, but also it was something DIFFERENT for them to make fun of me over and it made me feel better because it was at least something I had control over. I could lose the weight if I wanted to right??
When I was 16 I got over it, there were other girls around ho had larger breasts too and no one cared to make fun of them. So I lost the weight. It was awesome!! I felt better about my body and my breasts were about a DD and I could fit into bras from the same stores as everyone else and I LOVED them! It was ridiculous, I remember whenever I was in my room my shirt would come off and I would just sneak peeks at and my breasts in my bra because I just loved seeing them so much hahah.
I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 20 and I honestly have no clue when size I went up to. I was wearing an E but it was just the biggest one I could find that wasn't in a specialty store that I could squeeze them into. I lost some weight right after I had her but NOTHING came off my breasts.
I went back to college when she was two and like most people got lazy with my food and was eating to much junk and gained weight again. Breasts just got bigger and bigger. That's when the pain started. I had hurt my lower back and it just never really got better. My doctor told me to rest it and work on my posture because it was really bad. I explained that good posture was difficult because it hurt my back and shoulder but she didn't want to hear it.
As the years went on I struggled with my back, neck and shoulder pain. My back goes out often and I get very severe headaches. The groves on my shoulder are pretty deed in the back and the skin is a lot darker. I get these neck and arm twitches and some numbness in my arms from time to time. Now reading this site I think it might actually be something to do with my nerves?? Oh man :(
I always knew that at some point in my life I would get a reduction but it wasn't until last August when I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and couldn't because my back had gone out again and my boyfriend blew his mind at me saying "What are you doing??? You're only 27 years old and this is your life? Why aren't you doing something to fix this? Why aren't you going to get that reduction!?!?!?". Well that's all I really needed to hear to realize now is the time. I called my doctor and couldn't get into see him until November 2012. While there I had a full out anxiety attack before I asked him for a referral. He said he wanted me to try to lose some weight first. But when I started crying explaining to him how I can't even walk for 30 mins a day without my back going out the next day he agreed to send me for a referral!!!!
Fast forward about 5 months and I got a letter in the mail from my doctor telling my that my consult with my PS is May 8th 2013!!!!! I wish is wasn't that far off. I'm soooooo excited for this! I haven't been able to stop thinking about it yet! I have a knot it my stomach!
Any advice for my consult? I am going to need to have it covered by insurance. What kinds of things do I need to look out for when I meet him? things I should ask him about?? Thanks
My consult is in just 2 weeks. I'm getting really...
- 22 Apr 2013
Well I went for my consult today. It didn't go as...
- 8 May 2013
Oh man. I guess sometimes it's hard to see your body as others see it. I mean I KNOW I'm a big girl, but sometimes I just don't feel like I am. I still feel like the same 140lbs teenager on the inside.
He told me that I don't need to worry that even if I were to lose 60 or 70lbs I would still need one and qualify through OHIP to get it. Which I knew already lol. I talked to one of my good friends and we are going to start going for walks in the evenings. I'm not too sure how well that is going to go honestly. By back hurts always and it goes out so easily these days.
I dunno, I feel like I'm rambling. I just feel so down. I woke up today feeling so excited and now it's all gone.