I Am Better OFF! or How my Tattoo Made Me Go Through a Lot of Self-work - St.Petersburg, Russia

I have read a lot of stories here and I have to say that I honestly thought that something is wrong with me and I am the only one who do not want to be inked. I was thinking of getting a tattoo for a while and I had a clear idea what it will be - nice elegant initial of my parents on my left wrist. Since I do not make decision straight away and I always think a lot before doing something, I was honestly surprised how I reacted them my tattoo was done - I wanted to get it off once it was finished. I went through short depression and then I thought I need to start doing something about it.

My tattoo is 1 month old and I already had 1 session of laser to remove it. I am quite impatient, but I know it is a long process and it might take 10 procedures and about a year (or even more) to get rid of it completely. What scares me the most is that no one can guarantee that I will get rid of it completely, but I will try to stay strong and positive.

I am happy it is only 2,5*2,4 cm and black ink.

Sorry guys, couldn't update the picture of my tattoo before.

I had my first laser treatment 1 week ago. Hard to say how it goes as here in Russia I think we are using a different lasers. I was lucky to find a good doctor, who is specializing in lasers and he is an actual doctor.

I have a very mixed feeling right now. At one hand I am trying to stay positive and to do whatever I can to remove the tattoo and enjoy my life which is actually awesome. :) I do not want to wait for the moment I will get rid of it, I want to enjoy life now and look at this as an experience. BUT (there is always a but!) I am scared that I won't fix it and won't remove it completely. Plus I am not showing it at work or at home, which is also a bit of stress. Thanks god I can perfectly cover it with my watches. Summer is coming and by summer I will have 3 treatments done, but still what scares me the most is that I have no idea how long it will take and if ever I will be able to remove it completely. I am getting a huge support from my friends, but still I can't let go this situation and stop blaming myself. I have to stop being so hard on myself and admit that what is done is done. Sorry guys for this emotions. I do believe that I will deal with this and will be stronger.

I wish you all a good night and just stay positive and what I learnt so far is that people love you for yourself no matter you have tattoos or not. For me it was also hard to accept as I have to accept myself now and I am almost there. :)

My doctor told me that after 1,5 month he will be able to tell me more information about the removal process as he will see how the ink is reacting and the fading is going. My next appointment is on 24th of April and I will keep you all updated!

Btw, sorry for my mistakes. English is not my native language and though I use it every day for work, I do have mistakes :)

Hello all!

So just a quick update on my first treatment. It has been 2,5 weeks since I had my tattoo lasered for the first time. Hard to satin results. My tattoo is very fresh, black and on extremity . My next treatment is in 4 weeks. Hope my tattoo will fade a little more. I am treated with Fotona q-switched laser. Don't know about the settings, will ask next time.

Guys, since I am quite new removing process and had only 1 session behind, I have few questions I want to ask you as more experienced in this process:

1. How long should I wait between the treatments? As fas as I understood, the longer I wait, the better it will be for my skin (and this is totally logic). So, in general, should it be 8-10 weeks or more? My doctor told me 6-8 weeks or more. Definitely not less.

2. What creams or oils are you using for aftercare? I read so many different options in your reviews. Need to start using some cream or oil.

3. What do you guys do to speed up the process of getting Reid of ink? Some massages or anything else?

I do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, work out 6 times a week and eat healthy. Don't know if this will help me, but definitely won't make it worse.

I am sorry if all those questions were already answered somewhere, but I would appreciate if you share your opinions and links if you have.

Good fading to everyone!

Hello, everyone! :)

It has been 1 month since my 1st treatment and I am glad I started the removing process, but it definitely going to be VERY long process as I can see it now. Sometimes I really feel like I do not believe it can be removed completely or fade that much.

Anyways, see attached today's photos.

My next treatment is in 3 weeks and it will be 7 weeks between sessions.

Hi everyone!

I have a question: do you tan? I am hiding my tattoo if I go to tanning studios and since I git it, it was never under the sun rays. Here is my question: Summer is coming and I will go to the sea. I might have my laser treatment 2 weeks prior (but thinking to delay it and have it after I am back). So do you guys tan or you prefer to stay away from the sun? Or it is possible to stay under sun if last procedure was 10 weeks ago?

Hi, everyone!

I have a question: Have you ever seen a complete removal yourself? Is this really possible? I am looking through pictures on web and saw few videos on YouTube, but never saw a complete removal. :(

Hello, everyone! :)

I hope you all are doing great! We finally have some sun in Russia and I finally got to the point that I am not thinking much about my removal. I found some peace and I look at this as on challenge and it will just take time and patience. After all, this is a good lesson and life experience! I hope that my mood won't change!

My next treatment is next Thursday and I am going to ask my doctor few questions and definitely will share it with you!

Here are my pictures of my tattoo. 6 weeks post-treatment and I am noticing some fading. Not much, but my tattoo is only 2 months old and I didn't expect it to fade immediately.

My skin healed completely, it is soft and happy :) and I am happy too!

In June I am going to Cyprus for 2 weeks and I will keep my arm out of the sun (don't worry :) dut to that I am planning to have my 3rd tx in July only (approximately 10 weeks after 2nd).

I am also posting a picture of the tattoo then it was just done. Sorry about the quality and the lightening.

Also, I have been reading some information about tattoo removal and I see a lot of post that tattoo-removal is EXTREMELY painful. I disagree. It is so sad that people do not want to start it because they think it is very painful. Of course, I have to say that it is not pleasant experience and it all depend on the place of the tattoo and the size, but there is nothing to be afraid of. But yes, I admit that it is different for diffferent people.

So, here are the pictures. Not much changed, but I am very early on.

Have a great weekend everyone! And stay positive! :) Life is amazing!

Hello, everyone! Greetings from Russia! :) I guess I am the only one Russian here lol I am almost unicorn :)

So, today I had my second treatment done. I am treated with Fotona q-switched laser at medical center, which is specializing in laser treatments. I am treated by MD with a very good reputation. He is a very nice and sweet and I am very happy and lucky I found this place.
As I am based in Russia, it is really hard to find modern technologies here, comparing to the rest of Europe and USA. Sometimes I feel like I am leaving in third-world country lol no offense to anyone from Russia, but it is true. I think we will see PicoSure in 10 years :(

Anyways, I talk to my doctor today and we discussed my plan for next treatments. He said that tattoo is reacting the way he expected and he will be able to remove it, but it will take time. He asked me to be patient.

Also, I asked him about settings of the laser. First treatment it was 1064 and 4j. (Not sure I understand what this mean. Will google tomorrow) and today we did at 4.2. It wasn't that painful just because it was really fast, buy guys I totally get now how you feel removing bigger tattoos. It's hard! And emotionally as well. My doctor said that he will be increasing the lever (or how it is called), but very slowly as the skin on wrist is very gentle and had to be treated carefully.

I will download the pictures tomorrow. Skin is a bit red, but not that bad. I definitely can handle it.

Emotionally I am feeling ok just because my boyfriend is distracting me with some travel plans (we are flying to Paris :) and I am very busy with work, so had no time to think about regrets and depression.

Good fading to everyone and please, think of positive things, life and we are strong enough to overcome this! Life is amazing! Live and live now!

Don't wait for a perfect moment, take a moment and make it perfect! :)

Treatment 2 is behind and good night everyone!

Photo update

Hello, everyone!

I hope everyone is doing ok. My wrist is healing and I have little bit of yellow close to the ink (I think it might be bruise). All in all, things are going ok. I will upload the picture after few weeks. For now there is not much to say.

What I wanted to say today and share with you is my thought of how people are reacting on my removal process and how my closest friends are reacting as well.

After I started the process of removal and actually come to peace with the whole situation, I decided to stop sharing and talking about it with people. Just only with my closest friends. I have to say that my family do not know that I have a tattoo and that I am removing it. I am keeping them away from this and trust me, I am doing this just not to make my parents sad. I know that they might accept it and will support me later no mater what, but then you love someone, you want to prevent and save him from shock, sadness etc.

This weekend I saw few of my girls (my bff's) which do have tattoos as well. The asked me about the process and I told them about my removal journey so far and about RealSelf and people, who I qas so lucky to meet here. I was suprised how they reacted. They do not understand how you can be depressed over the tattoo and why you want to remove it if you dp not have for some reason (job or military services for example). This made me a little bit confused as I do understand very well how each of you feel and moreover, I would have understand it even if I wouldn't have to come through it myself.

Thanks god I have my bf and you, guys, here to give me support and hope! :)

Have a wonderful day all of you and rememeber, it will all pass! :)

Hi, everyone!

Sorry for overposting :) I was checking some PicoSure reviews and saw really good results on black as well. We do not have that kind of the laser in Russia, but I am able to get treatments done in Europe by it. Don't get me wrong, I am not rushing into anything, I am just researching other options just in case.

Anyone tested PicoSure on black? How is it? Any articles comparing q-switched vs. PicoSure?

Just to compare prices at the moment I am paying 45 USD for each treatment, which I think it a very good price!

Hello everyone!

Hope you all are doing great and have nice fading! This weekend was quite hard for me as I had kind of mental roller coaster, but I guess everyone here can understand what I am talking about! Anyways, I really do not want to feel this way and it is surprising (really!) how miserable you can feel over small tattoo! Wow! That's really surprising! I really think this all will pass eventually and in 1 year or 2 I do not want to look back and think that I wasted my time. I know it will get better! This just can be any other way!

What I wanted to share today is that reading some review I keep noticing that people gave up doing what they liked - meeting friends, doing sports. They started to eat a lot more just to erase the pain and I want to say that please, stop :) this is not a right way! This is not a way you want to go or to remember once you are over it. Don't go this path! This is hard enough and you do not want to feel miserable even more!

What is helping me right now to get through this all is keep doing what I love and stuck to my everyday routine. I do love working out and I live eating healthy. I want to share a picture of me last week at the gym. (Hope it is appropriate). By posting this picture I want to say that you are better and stronger than you think and you can overcome all stress and misery and fix things up! Don't give up on yourself! Don't let this small mistake ruin your life or hold you back from achieving your goals and dreams!

Good night, everyone! :) big hug from Russia! We can do it!

Here is a picture of my wrist 1,5 weeks post treatment 2. Still healing.

This time I have to moist my wrist even more. :( after care is really not easiest process. :(

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to share a picture if my tattoo. Feeling optimistic, but it is going to be a really long process. I can tell it now!

The healing is doing great. Hard to say though if I have scarring while I was getting the tattoo or not. It is really small and thin.

I noticed that this time the healing process is taking a bit longer. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks after my 2nd tx. I am going to have my next treatment in 5 weeks.

Nice fading to everyone! Good night! :) and yeah, today I thought that good to know that I have some options like excision if laser won't work. But I hope it will :)

I see most of the fading on letter M. A is also fading a bit. Tattoo is not black anymore. More like light grey. Is this normal? How your tattos faded?

Hello everyone!

Just a question if anyone here using (or is it actually allowed) to use some scrub to peel off dead sking after 2 weeks of the treatment?

Woukld appreciate your feedback!

Hello guys!

While I am in Amsterdam at the airport on my way back from USA, I have decided to update. I had an amazing trip to USA and this was a nice distraction of the removal process. I have to admit that sometimes I will down and sad about the whole thing. Even that I try to stay positive, I noticed that sometimes out of nowhere I have those panic attacks like why did I do this to myself? Or how could I have been so stupid? It is not that tattoo I hate, I think that the worse thing in my case is that I see it almost all the time.

Anyways, in USA I got a chance to try Dermablend which is not being sold in Russia. I went to Macy's in Chicago and a girl selling cosmetics was very sweet and nice. I had such a big plans for this kind of make up, but unfortunately it is not working for me. :( we tried 3 different colors and still I could see my tattoo. Maybe it is still too fresh and dark and I will change my mind about it in 6 months. I remember then I had few layers of the make up on my hand covering the tattoo I had a feeling of sudden happiness seeing my skin ink-free and it was a relief. A minute of relief.

Though I didn't get make up for my tattoo, I have bought aloe Vera gel as Chad Welsh suggested. :)

Also I have scheduled my appointment for 3rd treatment on 12th of June (7 weeks apart) I might have to postpone it to 19th of June since I have to leave.

Guys when did you start seeing actually changes in your tattoos? I know it is all individual. I see some changes, but my brain is playing games with me. I will post a photo of the tattoo in few weeks. I guess in the beginning you do not see much changes.

I keep thinking how long and sad this process is and I never ever thought I would be the one going thought it. It is quite a nightmare for me. I am always so positive and happy and now I feel scared. Scared of not knowing the result in the end.

I am very sorry for my sad thoughts. I do not let ink regret got into me, I will overcome it for sure. But lesson learnt - always trust your gut!

I was surprised that in USA 80% of people I saw have tattoos. It was so different to Russia! I guess I just never thought about it before as I was ink-free.

So, I guess I will try again make up for tattoo in few months.

And now I remembered Oscar Wilde phrase: we all are in a gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Stay positive and be happy! Life is amazing and it all be gone! :) that's what I trust in and hope for.

Hello my tattoo removing family! :)

While I am at home on sick leave (nothing serious, just cold) I decided I should update. I am 5 weeks post 2nd treatment. I can't say I see a lot of fading, I can see that my tattoo is well-done (oh no! :)) and quite dense that why it is taking longer to see some fading. In 2 weeks I am having my treatment #3 and I will have 2-3 more at my current clinic and then I might think of using Picosure. I see a lot of options how it all can go, but I really think that full removal is possible, but I might need 2 years. I really think my doctor knows what he is doing.

With this whole situation being quite stressful and sad, I am happy where I am mentally at. I do not feel so depressed and sad as I used to be. Sometimes I still wonder how I would have feel or what I would be thinking of instead of wasting so much time on thinking of removal. Would I be happier than I am now? I guess not. I think about my tattoo as some ink under my skin (like permanent make-up), not like a mistake I can't undo or like a mistake people should judge me for.

It is not a tattoo that makes us feel this way, it is our attitude towards it.

So nice fading and healing to everyone! Do not stop being alive, do not stop living! We all do mistakes and likely for all of us here, this one can be undone! :)

Anyways, I decided that next time I want to do something I will think twice :) I was always so careful with taking decisions and always was careful making something I can undo.

Couldn't download.

Hello everyone!

Just thought I should update! It has been 7 weeks since my last treatment. My 3rd was supposed to be yesterday, but I had to postpone it due to my doctors medical conference.

So here are (photos attached). Today I was thinking if I should consider cover up as well. I never thought I would ever consider this, but now I am thinking if laser won't work, I might think about it more. I would do the same just change it and make it more elegant. Just a thought. I will think more about it and make sure this is a right decision as I do not want to jump into anything again.

Again, even if I am going for a cover up, I need at least 5-7 treatment for tattoo to be lightened enough. It is good to have options.

I really should have thought about the design more lol then I was getting it!

By this post I just wanted to say that we all have options! And we should remember this. Also, I though that it is important to understand why we wanted to get a tattoo done firsthand.

Yeah yeah, a little bit of thinking, but I am in a good mood and thinking positive!

My tattoo is pretty dense still, but I see a little but of fading and lines breaking. Excited!

Nice fading to everyone :)

Hello everyone! Hope you are having a wonderful Monday! :)

I just got back from my 3rd treatment. Surprisingly, I do not feel sad or down after this treatment (normally after treatment I was feeling blue and a little depressed). I noticed that recently something changed about myself. I am not sad, I dream, I laugh like I used to do before. I am happy again and back to be myself 100%! I think I just got used to the situation and adjusted. Hope I will stay that way in anyway or so.

So about my 3rd treatment: for those you do not know, I am treated by Fotona q-switched laser. The best I could find in St. Petersburg, Russia. I am treated in medical center which is specializing on lasers by a doctor, who is also specializing in lasers and skin care. Today my treatment was really painful. Not that I was about to cry or anything, but I definitely felt it more. He turned the laser to 5.5-6 j this time (1064). I didn't asked him to increase myself. She said he will be slowly increasing the power.

I told my doctor that I really don't know how people are removing sleeves as this is so painful, but he told me that wrist is much more painful to remove than sleeve as skin is more sensitive on wrist. We talked about tattoos, PicoSure and our plans for my removal. He is sure he will be able to remove my tattoo, though he do not give any time expectation as he said that everyone is different and reacting differently. I asked him if I should try PicoSure after 5-7 tx with q-switched. He told me that we will wait and see :) he actually has 2 tattoos and is planning to have more! :) funny!

Also, he said that he recommend waiting at least 6 weeks before next treatment, but to his mind it is better to wait 12 weeks! I go every 8 weeks for now.

As for lack of the results, he said that it is not true. He does see line breaking and tattoo is not that black anymore. He said that then I came to him, my tattoo was freshly done and bt first 2 treatments we were removing the skin and extra pigment of the tattoo. My tattoo was 3 weeks only then I started. Do I regret I starting that early? Maybe! Now I recommend to wait 3-6 month before doing anything. It will be better mentally and for skin as well.

My next treatment is going to be on 18th of August! I like to plan things :) I am very organized.

All in all, I would say that somehow I think this experience is for good. It is changing me everyday and opening new qualities and everything in me. But! Let me save those word till my very last treatment :)

For my tattoo removing family - thank you for all your comments, messages and support! You helped me then I felt lost and didn't know what to do. I am glad I found you guys and all your stories. This was so-so helpful! God bless you all! Happy fading everyone! Stay healthy, positive and happy!

Hugs from Russia :)

P.S. For those who are feeling sad and down those days - it will get better! Everyday it is getting better and it will get even better! Having a tattoo is not the biggest regret in life!

Recently I read a nice book for children. To cut long story short, it is about a girl who was trying to find a positive outlook in very bad situation. That's how I live! Try to look into positive things in your life! You got a tattoo? Not a big deal! You are healthy, happy and have all your life ahead!

I am happy I have a tattoo. I can see how it is changing me to a better person. I was never stressed in my life as then I got it. And I handled the stress pretty well I think :)

Again, good luck to everyone! Happy healing to me! :)

Hello my tattoo removal friends!

I decided I should update. It has been 10 days since my 3rd treatment. So far doing really good.

The healing this time is a bit different. My wrist is itching and I have to skin peeling or scabbing so far. I use bio oil and aloe Vera everyday.

My next treatment is in August. It is very very long process, but I sure it is worth it!

Nice healing/ fading to everyone! Together we can overcome it and become better and stronger!

Hugs from Russia!

Hello, guys!

Just a quick note, mostly for myself. I have been talking to my few friends lately who are aware of my removal and everyone was asking me to send them pictures of the results. I told them many times how slow the process is and that it will take time and there is no magic here.

Long time ago I decided not to discuss my removal with anyone who is not into this. For me it is a lot more informative to share my experience here and get support I needed. So, today I got few reviews from my 2 friends that they thought by now I would have more results and suggested to seeing another doctor. Those comments made me a little sad. Thought I am very positive and sure I will deal with this, I wish I could turn back hands of time :)

Anyways, again, just for myself, let's compare. What do you, guys, think? Am I getting somewhere?

I know I will get it removed! I know it! I just wish people were more understanding and realistic.

Good luck to everyone! Stay strong and never ever doubt yourself!

Hello everyone!

Hope you all, guys, doing great. I am now 2 weeks post 3rd treatment. The wrist is healed, skin is perfect. Regarding fading, does your tattoo fade into brown or grey? Is it normal? Pictures attached.

I thought actually that black should fade into grey lol oh and my tattoo decided to fade partly :))) some spots has became lighter than others. Some spots decided they prefer to stay :D

So, please, share your thoughts!

Nice fading to everyone and sending my positive vibes from Russia!

Hello my removal family!

I didn't planed to update in 4 next week, but I thought that maybe for some people who are removing of thinking about removing would be interesting to see how the process is gong and what to expect. Here is my tattoo 3 weeks after my 3rd treatment. It was a successful treatment and finally my tattoo started to fade and I definitely see some light in the darkness. Good news, I got myself new phone few months ago and quality of photos is better now and I tried to capture unequal fading. I can now definitely tell where I have more ink left.

Anyways, all in all, things are going great. I am thinking if flying to London and using PicoSure. Thats a big decision to make as it is money and time and visa and I do not know if after PicoSure I could continue with my current doctor. Lots of unknown things. For next 5 weeks I will have to decide what I am doing next.

For about 1,5 month I have lost my boyfriend support since we broke up, but actually I am doing great. I am glad I have you guys to talk to!

Funny thing: yesterday I went to have my nails done and my nails master knows all the story about my tattoo removal as she is a good friend and she noticed that my tattoo is fading! Yay! So, it is obvious now! Keep my fingers crossed!

Also, for 5 months now (since I got inked) I managed to hide my tattoo from my parents! I feel like I am superwoman! ;) I think at some point I should have told them, but I am just too afraid and do not want to hurt them and since I am doing great and in a good mood and couping well, I though I will still be hiding it!

It is summer in the city! Finally! :) I am very happy and I hope you all guys are doing great! Remember we are in this together and each one of us are not the only one. Ink is not defining us! And this is telling you a person from a very judgemental country!

Lots of love xx

Hello my tattoo removal family!

Hope you all guys are doing great and enjoying your summer! :) well, I didn't plan to update until my next treatment in 3,5 weeks, but I decided to share how I have been feeling those last 2 days. All in all I was doing great and decided to stay as much positive as I can, but those 2 last days I was pretty down. I can't stop feeling how much energy this all is taking from me and I can't stop thinking that I made a wrong decision. I would be a lot more happier than I am at the moment. Forgive me for such thoughts! I really do not feel like this all the time. Sometimes I feel really happy and hope that this all will be finish one day. Let's hope that in 1 year I will be closer to end of this!

Happy fading everyone and here are photos of my tattoo post treatment 3 4,5 weeks after.