28 Yrs Old. 5'4" 118 Lbs. Ruptured Right Silicone Implant REMOVING THEM After 8 Years! Stockton, CA

Hi Friends,
Thank you all so much for your comments. It is nice to know I am not alone in this journey. This last week I had several ups and downs with my decision to explant. Its weird to me that my breasts have always bugged me, been in the way, or didn't look right in clothes. Then, this week I started to feel like I loved them... like I didn't know how I could be without them! I have an hourglass figure, and I feel like my fuller breasts balance out my hips. Will I just look pear shaped without them? Today I am wearing a v-neck t shirt and they look so good and round. I guess they make padded bras for those who lack adequate breast tissue. They even have gel filled bras. I think I'm going to be all over those after I explant!
I still will go through with the removal. I am feeling so fatigued lately and I am wondering if it is due to my silicone leak?? Has anybody else experienced this? I am not working right now, but I do spend my day taking care of my 3 year old daughter. By about 2 pm everyday I feel exhausted. I haven't been able to lift weights in about 6 weeks, then when I try (like yesterday) I just can't even get myself passed a warm up. We have a home gym and I literally just quit and walk inside to lay down! I still walk about 4 miles a few days a week, I do yoga, and I started riding my bike. But it seems I just cannot exert myself too hard. This also could possibly be due to mental exhaustion from worrying about my upcoming procedure. That, and its been about 100 degrees everyday. Maybe just a combination of everything.
Anyway, my surgery was supposed to be scheduled for Oct 1, but my insurance says they will be taking the FULL 30 days for prior authorization. UGH! I'll be calling them twice a week to speed this process along. I hear many people feel so much better after explant. I want to feel better! And I'm holding off on looking for a new job right now because I don't want to have to take time off to have the surgery.
I meant to post pics with my first review, but I never got around to it. So, I'll post now. Look forward to all of your comments!!
PS- Now that I am picking and choosing my pics, I think they are so ugly naked :-( My nipples are huge! With explant, how can I have small breasts and huge nips?

Hello,
I am so happy to be writing a review. I have beed addicted to researching stories on this site for a few weeks now. I am really hoping my story will help some one make the best decision for them, just like all of you have for me. So here it goes...
All I ever wanted was big boobs. I was a very small A cup and thought that I would look sexier and more like a woman if I had a fuller chest. I was 20 years old at the time and took out a loan to pay for them. I had complications from the beginning...
My surgeon, who has now passed away, went with 325cc silicone implants under the muscle just as they were brought back on the market here in the U.S. in 2006. He also suggested I have what is called a Crescent Lift on my right nipple. This is because the right nipple was pointing down a little bit. I guess we are all a little asymmetrical. He explained that if I didn't have this part of the procedure done that if I were to wear a striped shirt, my nipples (if hard) would be on two different stripes. Well, if I was gonna spend the money, I wanted my boobs to be perfect. The Crescent Lift is when they make an incision and lift the top of the nipple upwards and sew it in place. During this process, a little bit of the top part of the nipple is removed to allow space for the nipple lift.
My surgery went great. It was painful, but great. However, as I started to heal, I noticed that my right nipple kept stretching and became the size of a large pepperoni. I made an appointment to go back and have the surgeon fix it somehow. He agreed and fixed it for free by putting what is called a Purse String inside. Essentially, this is a permanent stitch that holds the nipple tight and in place. I've always hated that by pressing on the area, I (or others) could feel my permanent stitch. Plus, the nipple was sewn up so high that it would pop out of every single damn bra and bathing suit. I called this my nip-slip. I could never just go and buy my size bra anywhere. I had to try on every single bra and suit top to be sure my nipple wouldn't peep out. And guess what- I never found a single bra or suit top that covered it. EVER. I suppose if I bought a full coverage bra, it may have hid it. But whats the point of that with a boob job? I never dress "booby-licious", but I did like just a little bit of cleavage! Every time I walked into Victoria's Secret, it was depressing because I knew there was not one thing in there I could take home and feel comfortable and secure in. Never in the whole 8 years, in all of the bra/suit shopping that I did, had I found a great fitting bra. I started slouching too, and covering my chest a lot with my arms to hide what may be a nip-slip. I also couldn't wear white t shirts because you could see my dark nipple peeking through the top of my bra. :-(
I don't think that I have had any health problems from my implants. However, right about the age I had them done I started having horrible stomach problems and neck pain on the right side. Could this be related? Maybe. Maybe not. I've suffered from migraines since I was 9 and this neck pain I started getting always turns into a migraine. Maybe its just stress. Same with my stomach. Maybe by the time I was 20, I was growing up and taking on the stresses of life and thats what caused my stomach problems. Who knows. Maybe its just weird timing but maybe I'll know more once they come out.
Fast forward a few years, I delivered my daughter when I was 25. I nursed her for 14 months and never had a problem with my supply. I could pump successfully too and feed an army. But I had chronic Mastitis. Ugh I hated it! I probably got the infection about 8 times over that 14 months. By the time I finished nursing, my daughter was only feeding at night and I cut her off cold turkey. I was completely engorged for 4 days or so. It was so uncomfortable.
Since I stopped nursing 2 years ago, I've been able to squeeze out little bits of breast milk from both nipples still! We all know what nursing does to our boobs. And boy did mine change. They became really soft and hung lower. A lot lower. Also, right after I weaned, I developed this TERRIBLE nagging pain in my right side, towards the bottom outer part of right of my breast. Sometimes it was a dull ache, sometimes it was a sharp pain. I thought it was a pain under the tops of my ribs. I have spent the last 2 years visiting all types of doctors. SEVEN doctors to be exact. Due to the area of the pain, they thought it was my gallbladder, IBS, and/or a musculoskeletal pain. After some passed time, I gave up going to the doctor. I figured I was fine and that maybe I was just sore in that spot from carrying my daughter around, working out or sitting at the computer. Until I felt a lump in my right breast one night. I had my husband feel it just to confirm I wasn't going nuts. He felt it too, but it was weird because it kept traveling as we touched it.
I was due for my annual pap, and I decided to go back to my OB/GYN who delivered my daughter in 2011. I told him a brief history of my pain and as he did a breast exam, he told me something was very wrong with my right breast. He immediately sent me for an ultrasound and an MRI. The results came back that I had an intra AND extra capsular silicone leak that traveled deep into my pectoral muscle.
Could this be the reason for all of my neck pain on the right side? I also just realized that this may be the reason I have limited range of motion with overhead and rib opening yoga poses. My world just fell apart when I found out about the leak. Since my initial breast augmentation, I found a journey to natural health. I eat a mostly plant based diet, I do yoga 3x a week, walk over 4 miles, lift weights and perform high intensity interval training a few days a week. My health is my whole life. Why did this have to happen to me?
In my search for a new surgeon to fix the damage, I had my heart and mind set on replacing the implants. My health is very important to me, but so are my looks! I don't want to have saggy boobs! Yuck! I had visited a few plastic surgeons in my area and only spoke of replacement. In fact, one of the interviewing nurses at one of my consultations asked me if I was considering removal and I scoffed! Hell no! Haha
During the consult process, it came to my attention by all of the docs that I have what is called a Double Bubble; more so on the right breast than the left. But still on both. This is likely due to nursing and it is when the implant falls below the mammary fold, creating the illusion of 2 bottoms of the breasts. Kinda hard to explain, but you can see it in my pics. So on top of removal and replacement, I need to have extra permanent sutures put in the bottom of both breasts to hold the new implants up in place above the mammary folds. Which also means.... waaaaay more money!!!
This whole thing couldn't have happened at a worse time. My husband and I just relocated for his job, meaning I needed to get a new job too. The moving costs and all that comes along with that meant that our financial situation wasn't in the heftiest place. However, with his new job we did get some great health insurance that will cover 80% of the removal of a ruptured silicone implant if confirmed on MRI. SWEET!!!!!!!
I have been going back and forth for weeks now studying this website. When I actually saw that 96% of the people who had their implants removed said it was worth it, I really started to consider it. I've gone back and forth so many times it has made me crazy. How could I not have boobs anymore? How could I look like a woman instead of an adolescent? How could I ever feel sexy again? How could I stand to be intimate with my husband when I'm flat as a pancake? But most importantly, how could I risk doing this to myself again? How could I risk spending $7-8,000 (THAT WE REALLY DONT HAVE TO SPEND ON COSMETIC SURGERY!) to put this stuff back into my body after it has caused me so much pain, physically and emotionally? How could I put this stuff back into my body, only to have it possibly happen again? I don't want to go through all of this scrambling every 10 years or so. Theres a lot that goes into finding a surgeon, the cost , having anesthesia, quit exercising for 8 weeks for recovery, etc. I honestly think if I had them replaced that I would always have that fear in the back of my head that they were leaking. I wouldn't want my husband to squeeze them too hard, I would never want to work my chest at the gym (like push ups) for fear of breaking the new permanent sutures (that fixed the double bubble.) Speaking of push ups, anytime I do any chest workout, you can see my implants move around under the muscle and its gross! I get so embarrassed that I can basically flex my chest like a dude!
It has been an emotional roller coaster going back and forth between removal and replacement. So today, I finally made the decision to remove them. I'm just listening to my inner voice and going with my gut. I am looking forward to getting these things out and becoming even more of a pillar for natural health.
Wanna know something exciting? I went into Victorias Secret today because my sister wanted to look around for herself. I was like a kid in a candy store. I got excited at the possibility of being able to have all matching bras and panties! I could wear those cute little neon or cheetah printed bra/pantie sets. Just like I have always wanted to!
I feel such peace now about my decision. My husband supports my removal and I feel good knowing that I could have kept my fake boobs, but didn't. Having implants isn't all its cracked up to be. So many people have complications and I really hope my story helps one of you make the right decision, too.
I have found a plastic surgeon in the area and it looks like I am tentatively scheduled of Oct. 1. That is less than a month away. We are just waiting for my insurance authorization at this point. I'll be sure to write a review here soon about the doc and his office (this was the 3rd one I visited and LOVED him!)

Thanks for taking the time to read my story! :)