Almost There - Seattle, WA

My surgery is in 32 hours and I'm pretty freaked....

My surgery is in 32 hours and I'm pretty freaked. I wear a size 30G bra, for context. Honestly, as long as they're small I don't really care about scarring or nipple sensation or anything like that. So I'm not freaked about really anything to do with the results, but I've never had surgery or anything close before and it's pretty scary. I have an anxiety disorder, which doesn't help. I'm trying to keep the perspective of it being 32 hours of worrying I have to get through, and then it'll be done, instead of counting down to maximum scary. I've talked to the doctor and nurse about all of my worrying, they've been very supportive/reassuring.

I'll post some before pictures tomorrow (it's Wednesday night now, my surgery is Friday morning) because looking at people's pictures has been reassuring for me. I've been reading posts on here for a while, thanks for posting, everyone.

done!

I had my surgery today. It went well. My throat is pretty sore. But I was in and pretty fast. I got there at 7:15 and left at 1:45. I'll explain the events in more detail later, I'm pretty woozy. But I wanted to post some pictures.

more pictures

I can't work posting pictures...

They're so small!

I keep looking down and saying that. They'll be a B or C when the swelling goes down, the doctor and nurses said. All I wanted was to get through the surgery with no complications and my breasts as small as feasible. I napped for a few hours and I feel less woozy now. I'm pretty excited.

I showered

I took off the bandages and showered and it was awesome. They look amazing. The drains are pretty annoying, but they're coming out on Monday, so I can deal.

recovery so far

My surgery ended right around 48 hours ago, and my recovery thus far has been both as I expected and surprising. The pain is around where I expected it to be, or maybe a bit less. I'm having the anticipated difficulty asking people to do things instead of doing them myself, but I'm getting better at that.

I was surprised by how out of sorts I felt. Wobbly and woozy and nauseous and just kind of sick. I feel better this morning, but it's been worse at night, so who knows. I've also been very anxious, again particularly at night. I've done some research, and it sounds like post-surgical anxiety is pretty common, but I hasn't heard about it before. I'm kind of a hypochondriac at the best of times, and this was my first surgery, so it's all new and scary. I don't know how much of the anxiety is chemical and how much is just stress, but it's not any fun at all.

In more sort of amusing recovery surprises, my arms and abdominal muscles are sore from trying to do things like sit up without using my chest muscles.

And the best surprise: aesthetics were pretty low on my list of reasons for wanting the surgery, behind things like chronic pain and being able to buy clothes that fit right. But right now I can't walk past a mirror without checking myself out. I look awesome. My whole body looks so much better proportioned. I can't wait until I can go shopping. Just trying clothes I already own on is exciting. (My husband made me stop trying clothes on after a couple. Apparently that doesn't count as resting.) A shirt I couldn't button over my chest before is loose now. It's pretty cool.

The drains are out

I had the drains removed this morning. That was kind of painful, but it only hurt in one breast, oddly. The driving around to get up to Seattle and back was more uncomfortable than having the drains removed.

Dr. Park said I can switch to over the counter painkillers, so that should help with the nausea and wooziness.

Everyone was very pleased with how good they look.

I was pretty tired after getting home, and spent the afternoon watching the West Wing and napping.

healing is moving along

Everything is going well, as best I can tell. No signs of infection or anything like that. My breasts are starting to feel sturdier. Like, I finally managed to take a shower without worrying that I was somehow going to break them.

Given that everything is going so well, I feel bad complaining, but I'm really frustrated by my pain levels. Starting on Wednesday or so, I've had increased pain and swelling under my arms, at the ends of the incisions and further back. I called my doctor's office and asked about it, and they said it's my lymph nodes and not unexpected. So it's fine, but it's really uncomfortable.

I'm also having what I guess are those zingers people talk about. Stabbing, burning pain that starts at my nipple and goes into my breast. They only last for a couple minutes, which is good.

I stopped taking the Tylenol with codeine on Monday, and then took normal Tylenol for a few days, and then switched to Motrin. I don't like taking Tylenol because the overdose amount is only slightly higher than the maximum daily dose, which makes me anxious. But Motrin gives me acid reflux, so today I switched back to Tylenol. Neither Tylenol or Motrin have been particularly effective, though. I'm kind of thinking about going back to taking the Tylenol with codeine, at least at night. Maybe only half a pill? How long did other people take the narcotic painkillers? I'm just not really sure if I should be trying to treat the pain or just deal with it.

Anyway, sorry to be so whiny. I'm still really happy with them. Everyone who has seen them says they're awesome. I haven't had that much bruising, so other than the tape and stuff, they look surprisingly like normal breasts. And they're so small and perky. I was worried my husband would be disappointed, but he loves them. So life is mostly good, I'm just tired of being in pain and not being able to do stuff.

feeling much better

So, I complained a lot a couple days ago, and then I woke up the next day with much less pain. The swelling under my arms isn't gone, but it has gone down.

The skin on my breasts is peeling some, which is odd. Like after a sunburn. It's been happening on my nipples for a few days, but today I noticed it on the outer side of both breasts.

I feel much better now that the pain has gone down. I'm still kind of easily tired, and they still hurt some, but it's much better.

Also, excitingly, today I went to Target and bought a new sports bra and a sweater. They weren't even on sale and they cost together half of what my last 30G bra cost. And everything I tried on fit, instead of trying on a bunch of stuff to find one that sort of fits. It was really cool.

the tape was removed

I went to the doctor's office on Tuesday and he took the steristrips off. I was worried it would be painful but it wasn't more than mildly uncomfortable.

It took me a couple days to get used to see them without the tape. They seemed so fragile. But the incisions already look better than they did on Tuesday. These pictures are from Wednesday.

The pain is nearly gone, just the occasional twinge from my nipples, and stuff sort of pulling occasionally when I reach for things. There are some irritated spots around my nipples, apparently as a result of the tape. They look much better now than they did in the pictures.

I'm looking forward to buying new bras soon, but I'm a little concerned that I'm still going to have a hard time finding bras. Right now I'm between a 30D and a 32C, at least based on measuring. I think they might get a bit smaller, since there's still some swelling and I'm on my period. I haven't actually tried on any bras besides sports bras that come in sizes like small or medium, and those seem to fit well, so I'm probably being paranoid.

Clothes, on the other hand, fit great. Trying stuff on is so much easier. I got the most awesome dress the other day.
San Diego Plastic Surgeon

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