Ready to feel confident! :) - Seattle, WA

I have been going back and forth for years about...

I have been going back and forth for years about this decision. Like many of you other ladies I have been teased about being flat or looking like a 12 year old boy. I have wanted boobs even before I hit puberty! I was so excited to to grow boobs when I was younger and feel feminine like a girl! I always thought that since my mom had boobs I would too but now I know that I take after my dads side. Twiggy... and essentially flat.

I have told all of my friends and family about my decision and where I am at. However the one person I have yet to tell is my boyfriend because I am scared that he will try to "protect me from myself" and strongly encourage me not too. I think that is why I have been avoiding telling him. I am a strong christian and I have been struggling with this decision morally. Some days I say screw it! This life is so short and I am ready to feel confident with my body. Other days I worry and feel that I am being selfish. :/

I have been reading everyone else's stories on here for about 4 months now and I am so thankful that I am not alone! Your stories have helped me more than you will ever know and I am so thankful for this website!.

I am 21 years old, 5'8in, and 120pounds. My ribcage measures at 28in. I want my results to be as natural as possible! Currently I am in nursing school. I have not had any children and I would like to breastfeed my children when I have them. Currently I am an A 34 I would like to be a full C eventually.. That is if my doctor believes that my small frame could hold full C's. I am thinking about setting up a consultation with Dr. Salemy. He seems like the best doctor for what I am looking for. I am hoping to get my surgery done in December of this year.

Ladies, I would love some emotional support. Thoughts on how to explain my decision to others who do not agree or understand what it is like to feel insecure about breast size. Thoughts from other Christians. Success stories.. Really anything! Thank you for reading ladies!

First of all I would just like to say THANK YOU to...

First of all I would just like to say THANK YOU to all of the ladies who have taken the time to write to me! It means SO much to me to have your support after feeling so alone about my BA decision! You ladies are a true blessing. I literally teared up when I got my first few comments. :)
Today I have decided that Monday I will "Break the news" to my bf about my plans with my potential upcoming surgery... yikes. I am freaking out. I have been scared for about 19 months to talk to him about this... We live about three hours away from each other but he will be in my town next week. He will be here for about three days Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday staying at a hotel locally working through the days and spending time with me during the afternoon. His opinion means so much to me. If he told me it was the BA or the relationship I would choose him. (He would never make me choose though) If he supports me in this.. I will have nothing left to be on the fence about.. I am learning to accept things that I can not change about others opinions and am ready to stop talking about this and start doing. P.S. I think his parents might pass out if they ever found out hahaha ... oh well!

I am not really sure how to start the conversation but I have thought of a few points I could make throughout our talk.

-This is not a decision I am making on a whim; I have thought long and hard.
-My feelings about BA have not changed since I was a girl even after several years of telling myself no.
-I will be paying for this myself.
-Woman spend hundreds even thousands of dollar on clothes, make-up, hair products, cuts, colors, gym memberships, etc how is this any different.
-I am not getting a BA for purposes of attracting other male attention. I dress conservatively and I want these to be only within a marriage..
-My friends and family all know about my decision and have learned to accept what I would like to do.
-I know that you may not agree with my decision but I hope that you can stand by me when I get this done.

How does this sound so far? Anything thoughts ladies?
Thanks for your input and reading!

I emailed Dr. Salemy's office! Woo that was nerve...

I emailed Dr. Salemy's office! Woo that was nerve wracking I wasn't sure if I really wanted to hit send and give their office my name and phone number.. Gosh all of this time researching, researching, researching and remaining anonymous and now I am finally contacting an office to potentially start the beginning of my story! WEIRD! I asked his office when I should schedule a consultation, or if it was too early to get a consultation to have surgery in December, and additionally if they are open after Christmas in December. Considering that I emailed their office at about 1:15AM in the morning. I didn't think that I would hear from them for a while. Soooo I was SHOCKED... SHOCKED the next morning when I received an email back at 8:30AM on the way to school the next morning from I COULDN"T BELIEVE IT... DR. SALEMY HIMSELF! I literally screamed/yelled/wigged out/laughed in the car for about 2 minutes straight.. Mostly screamed. It felt surreal. I couldn't believe He had actually contacted me.. knew my name.. this could be real.. wow.

This is what he said:

"Hi Allison,
I got your email about your interest in a breast augmentation so I
wanted to write you back personally to say hello. To answer your
question, the holidays are a very popular time for surgery and many
patients schedule well in advance for their procedure. I'd be happy
to see you anytime and I'll have my patient care coordinator Rebecca
contact you to answer any questions you may have as well as set up a
day and time for a consultation--in the meantime, feel free to call or
email me with any questions you have."

Pretty standard but I was very happy that he took the time to contact me personally.!

I decided I would put some new photos up! One of my special jelly inserts I used to (at least I hope I don't have to continue using them) bra inserts to add a cup size or two! Oh and some standard bra shots!

Two days until the big talk with me man! :////!! ahhh.. Will update on Monday!

Well I did it.. One of the hardest things I had to...

Well I did it.. One of the hardest things I had to do was tell my BF about my potential upcoming BA.. I made him his favorite beef stew slow cooked in wine with vegetables and set the table.. I felt confident even happy to get it over with but as we approached the end of dinner and the time to sit down and talk I felt myself eating slower and after dinner wanting clean more and more.. I ended up doing just about anything other than sitting down on the couch together. But after we put the leftovers away my heart began pounding because I knew I was going to finally tell him.
I help lead a youth group for high school kids that usually meets on Monday, all of the other female leaders knew that I was going to be telling him tonight and they were praying for me in my absence so there was no going back!
The word boob job never even left my mouth or breast augmentation.. I literally started off with telling him that since I was 12 I have felt insecure..As soon as I started in I could tell that he knew something was wrong and he looked scared and I felt so nervous and I didn't want to disappoint him so I just started balling... Like snot running from my nose balling. I explained most of the points that I had bulleted before which took a while.. He just held me close and tried to comfort me and tell me that he loved me for how God made me. He asked me how it I would change if I got it done and I told him that I would have a lot more confidence within my self. He asked what the complications were and I told him. He told me that on one hand he wants to make me happy and on the other hand he feels like it would make it look like he wanted me to get them done to other people and that he has to say no because other people might feel that he wanted me too.. or that he would look bad because he didn't stop me to other people. He asked if I wanted to tell his parents... I said no it's not there personal business. He asked who would pay for it, I said me. He asked how my parents feel I told them that my mom and I agree to disagree and that my dad wants to see me happy. He was worried because he knows I already get looks from guys without my boobs and boobs would draw extra attention! I told him.. Well, I already get looks now... If they are going to look at me without the boobs.. an extra inch or two more of boobs isn't going to do a whole lot of damage! Plus I wear padded bras now it might even look relatively the same with a sports bra after the BA. Over all he wasn't super happy about it, but he didn't shut it down. I think he knows that the decision is mine. Now I know he won't shun me for saying yes.. Now I am just giving him some space to think about what I have just downloaded on him! THANK YOU LADIES FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND POSITIVE THOUGHTS!

Tried to make a Consultation:/

Well I got up enough courage to call and try and set up a consultation with Dr. Salemy!... I wasn't sure how busy the doctor was so I asked if they had anything this week and I think the lady on the other end about laughed at me.. :/ They didn't have any openings until the middle of June... Oops I felt pretty embarrassed.. Well I guess I will call back and try to schedule an appointment for June! Yikes still nervous abut everything!

Consultation Scheduled! ONLY 6 more days!

I scheduled my consultation next Wednesday on May 29th with Dr. Salemy! I am pretty nervous! Ah any advice ladies on what to bring? Expect? Do before??!

RUSHED consultation

It has been about a week since my initial consultation with Dr. Salemy and over all I would say that It went... OK. During my time in the office I was very nervous there were lots of people coming in and out of the waiting room. It seemed very busy; however, I remember that most of you girls had said that their doctor made them feel at ease about the entire process so I was hoping that once I was out of the waiting room my nerves would settle. I paid my upfront consultation cost of $100 dollars and was placed into a room. The nurse working there was very nice and friendly. I had forgotten my printed list of all of my question in the car in the rush of finding the office while in traffic so I frantically wrote down all of the questions I could remember on my phone while in the room. Dr. Salemy came in and seemed very friendly and knowledgeable. Because I have been searching this website so much I knew exactly what I wanted. I believe we spent at most 15 minutes together before he left the room so I could change and he could take a look at me. The office was very busy so I felt like if I didn't get all of my questions out right there he was about to leave. It sort of felt like I was another girl in line... of MANY.. It didn't really feel like I mattered as much at that moment I was just on the check list of what they needed to run through that day... Dr. Salemy came in with a nurse and assessed me. He told me things that I didn't even know before. He pointed out that my left breast is larger and sits slightly higher than the right one. I had never noticed but he was absolutely right. I was impressed. He left after jotting down some quick measurements. Then came the process of trying on sizers. We both agreed that a smaller implant would look better on me so he placed sizers from the range of 254-324CC's I had not yet tried on all of the sizers yet when Dr. Salemy came in and asked what size I wanted. I had no idea yet. All of this time I had been waiting and researching and instantly I was supposed to make a decision. I chose the 304 because it was the third largest. But I'm still not positive that is what I want.. After I was done trying on the sizers. I was ushered into a room and given the run down on the price, fee's and asked when I would like to schedule my surgery. I told them when I wanted to have it done and the patient specialist then said it will be $500 dollars to save your surgery date how will you be paying us today?.. I was kind of shocked.. not only did I feel rushed not get my questions answered but then all of a sudden they were trying to seal the deal and I was paying a total of $600 dollars today... No. I was not ready for that. Hmmmm I left feeling like I had just been spit out of a tornado and didn't know whether I wanted to cry, get upset, change Dr.s? I got teary eyed as I was telling my best friend on the phone because I was very much looking forward to a positive experience with Dr. Salemy's staff.. I feel like I should go back again and give their office another chance? I emailed their office to schedule another appointment to get all of my questions answered.
Did anyone else have a similar experience? Felt rushed? Is it just because I was nervous? Please comment!

Second Consultation.. MUCH BETTER.

Today I went in to Dr. Salemy's office and I felt MUCH better this time! I still had a difficult time with parking and my dog threw up on the way to the office... ( I was dog sitting for my parents and I was on my way home from Seattle so I had all of my luggage and puppy dog in the car.) However, the atmosphere within the office felt much more relaxed. There was only one other patient in the waiting room and Dr. Salemy felt much more present while I was with him. He seems like a busy man still, but I felt like he did a better job addressing me. His patient coordinator Rebecca was much more personal this time and tried to listen to me. I really appreciated the fact that this time I felt like I was a patient and just not a pay check. I asked Dr. Salemy about his preventative care for capsular contracture. He literally does all of the things that I have researched to prevent CC. I was very pleased with his answers. He uses the keller funnel method, an antibacterial soap and other various techniques. Rebecca and I talked about dates and I actually SCHEDULED MY DATE!... I think I am finally ready. I'm tired of worrying and I want to take the plunge!
Shahram Salemy MD

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Hey there ...I came across your page when looking for other folks who have a surgery date near mine. Saw that you haven't posted anything in a few months and after reading your other posts was wondering how you're doing??
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Wow! Love, love your story! You totally deserve this and you should enjoy your results for yourself after surgery. I'm scared about telling my family, and I'm glad I'm not alone! Good luck with everything :)
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You deserve to have that womanly figure that the rest of us also want. Do not think that you are being selfish or anything of that sort! I really like the way the sizer looks on you:) it suits you well and its not tooooo crazy and out there! Can't wait to see your outcome!!!:))
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While its true, in my experience, that most doctors don't spend the amount of time I envision talking about all my concerns, I don't think you should go with someone who wasn't willing to give you the time to get to know you. They are there to serve you, not the other way around. You know to feel totally confident that you have all the answers you need and that your doc has understood you completely and knows exactly what you want.
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Thank you for your honest answer! I was shocked! I had no idea! I thought they were going to get to know me at least a little more before hand they cut me open! I am glad that they were able to talk to me again without having to pay another $100 dollars! Thank you so much for writing to me!
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Wow. I feel the same I have my moments still (scheduled for the 13th of June) selfish/vain some days but most of the time I think it's time foe me to take care of me and do what I want. I felt the same about the same doctor I first went to. Everyone that I knew that got them done went to him but when I got there felt totally rushed and just another paycheck (he answered my questions with one word answers) but I found another doctor on this website and made an appointment with him. He made me feel so confident me and my husband really liked him made a deposit and scheduled my surgery that day. Don't get too discouraged make an appointment with another doctor. Good luck, God Bless, and best wishes to you.
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Wow. I feel the same I have my moments still (scheduled for the 13th of June) selfish/vain some days but most of the time I think it's time foe me to take care of me and do what I want. I felt the same about the same doctor I first went to. Everyone that I knew that got them done went to him but when I got there felt totally rushed and just another paycheck (he answered my questions with one word answers) but I found another doctor on this website and made an appointment with him. He made me feel so confident me and my husband really liked him made a deposit and scheduled my surgery that day. Don't get too discouraged make an appointment with another doctor. Good luck, God Bless, and best wishes to you.
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I'm SOOOO glad that there are other woman out there just like me! I feel like one day I'm on cloud 9 and then the other I want to cry and feel like a need to change my heart. I can't believe he answered you with one word answers.... really? Wow I'm sorry! The second time that I went to the office went SOO much better! It was earlier in the morning when there weren't as many patients soooo I think that helped. I made my deposit today and I don't feel awesome or sad just kind of both. God Bess you too! :)
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Good for you! I'm glad they could get you in. I would write down all the questions you have beforehand and don't be afraid to ask them even if they sound dumb. This surgeon is there to make you feel heard and understood, so state all that you expect and hope for. And, bring pictures of what you want to look like post-op. Good luck!
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Loved your story! I was literally saying "THAT'S HOW I FEEL!!" when reading. Good luck with everything, I wish you the best!
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Thank you so much! :) So happy to know there are other woman out there going through the same thing!!
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Girl, you sound just like me! I looked just like you prior to babies, and now I'm even smaller! I have struggled with the biblical questions more than anything, whether God would be against me doing this and if I am bringing judgement on myself from Him or other people. I have slowly told some of my closest friends and have had nothing but support from everyone. I still haven't told my best friend because she tends to be slightly judgmental about cosmetic surgery, but she definitely doesn't understand not having boobs. I feel that every time I start to really question whether I should do this, something happens that confirms that I should go ahead. So, I feel that God is laughing at me a little bit now for over-analyzing this whole thing. I would encourage you to make this decision prayerfully and be completely confident in what you decide. I'm going very small for now because I don't want a drastic change and I feel that when I need them replaced in years to come, as most people do, I can go bigger then if I want. I've heard more people regret getting them too big than too small. So, don't let your surgeon persuade you to go bigger than you're comfortable with. My PS thinks I'm crazy for the size I want, but I just smile and tell her again. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
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The hardest thing for me is the moral or biblical reasoning and motives for the reason I am doing this. One day I am all for it and then others like today I just feel meh and bad about the decision I want to make in doing this. I think it is because I am scared about my health and don't want to risk anything. I heard a sermon yesterday that made me feel super crappy about my decision..... It said that we are always going through spiritual warfare whether we acknowledge it or not and that when I am looking at myself in the mirror I hear how I am un womanly or I begin to think thoughts about how much I don't like what I see. It is the enemies job to tell us lies about ourselves and it our job to respond with feeling down about ourselves and it is a pride issue why we do things.... I LITERALLY wanted to cringe in my seat with each word he was saying! UGHHHHHHHHHHH I'm tired of feeling guilty about this. I just want to do it do the surgery, heal and be done with it! Haha I read part of your profile and I agree with you about the size I think that you don't need to go too big especially at first. But then again I believe it's a personal thing so for someone big may be what they are looking for. I want them to be just a little bit bigger! Honestly I just want to have more than my man! haha he is so muscular in his chest that I think he has more than I do! haha Sometimes I think God is laughing at me for over-analyzing as well! I will continue to pray and thank you for much for your comment! I can't tell you how encouraging it is knowing other woman going through exactly what I am! TTYL
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I get it! Our pastor is doing a sermon series on humility right now, and so far its been 5 weeks of sermons about putting your mind off of yourself and becoming more Christ centered. A few of those have definitely given me pause in my decision. But, then my husband will try to touch me and I'll immediately feel insecure about him touching my boobs. I know, ultimately, he doesn't care, but I do. I feel like I'll spend way less time thinking about my body when I correct the source of my insecurity. I color my hair, whiten my teeth, wear make-up, and yes, wear padded bras. ;) These things all alter my appearance but I don't think twice about whether God is judging me for it. So why would He judge this? The only reason He would, in my mind, is if I become prideful in it. Showing off my boobs and wearing low cut shirts. I'm definitely not interested in anyone seeing these but me and my husband. So, I feel peace in the decision now. I hope that no matter what you decide that you're confident in who you are in Christ above all else.
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Oh gosh... I can't imagine 5 weeks of what it was like last Sunday! I identify with so much of what you are saying. At one moment I feel ashamed and in the next moment I am worried about where my scarf is positioned to cover up my lack there of boobs. Or when I am cuddling with my hopefully soon to be fiance, I cringe when he lays his head on my chest during a movie because I know that all he is feeling is rib cage; and yet again I feel like a boy. Or when he hugs my close my wire on my very padded bra makes a squeak noise. Ugh.. I believe it might be less "sinful" to spend less time worrying about it as well. Like you said go to the root of the problem and correct it. We aren't doing this to be used outside of anything but our marriages. (My eventual marriage:) we are hoping to get married next August and are waiting for everything sexually) Thank you so much for talking to me! Your thoughts and ideas mean a lot to me!
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YEA! the worst part is over! You are right about giving him time, look how long you have been thinking about it and how long it took for you to send the email to the PS. It sounds like he's a good guy in how he asked many questions and didn't just shut you down. I think you will be just fine and will be happy once it is all said and done. Best wishes to you :)
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I feel the exact same way! Phew! I am so thankful that it is over with that was so hard! You are completely right. Now I need to give him time to think about this. I told him also that I have my own "blog" about this decision and process and I feel so much better now that I don't have to hide when I am on here blogging or reading other realself journeys! I just tell him and I am so glad that he is open to hearing me out and staying by my side!. Now I just have to let him know that next month I will be setting up my consultation! Thank you for your support!!! :)))
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Thank you for sharing your story! My hubby and I are Christian too, and as I come closer to my consultation appt. (Monday!) I start to get nervous. I just keep reminding myself that we are saved by grace and not condemnation. I have tattoos mostly flowers and things, but my dad was a pastor and ultra conservative. I am thankful that God judges by what's on the inside and not on the outside. My mom is still very against it, but as long as my hubby is supportive I am happy. I was always tiny up top with a bubble butt, and after two kids it was worse. I am doing it for me and it sounds like you did it for you. Good for you for sticking to your guns!
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I think that remembering that "we are saved by grace and not condemnation" is so important. I am glad that we are both sticking to our guns and able to see that God still loves us and we can still be his beautiful daughters even with an augmentation. AND that we are not going to turn into Pamela Anderson and leave our morals and God's love at the door when we go under!. I wish you all the best with your BA! Thank you for your comment! :)
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You are welcome! so excited not to be the only Christian doing this. Please keep me posted on your surgery, I hope you find and get exactly what you want. I am in Washington too, hoping to find the right doc in the Seattle area :) if you feel comfortable send me a message, maybe we can compare doctor experiences? I found three docs on RealSelf that I'm scheduled to see. First one 4/22!!
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Thank you for starting your personal journey on RealSelf! Many men become worried about their significant other when surgery is involved. Another approach with your bf is tell him you are being careful and thorough in your doctor research. This list of questions to ask your doctor will show him you'll end up with an excellent surgeon. Good luck on Monday...let us know how it goes!

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I think that he will just be very concerned about the pain that I will go through and the image. I have compiled a list of 22 questions that have began to ask my potential surgeons patient coordinator! Ah it is just so hard to know what all of the certifications mean! And I should know more than most since I am in Nursing School! I'll keep you posted! :)
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I think you bring up great points and I am sure your discussion will go well! There is definitely a stereotype for women that get their breasts done, that we will look like Pamela Anderson and start dancing at the strip club afterwards. I'm sure your reassurance that your personality and morals are not going to change will be helpful. Please let us know how it goes!
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I think that as soon as the words breast implants come out of my mouth he might just imagine that. A twiggy blonde with double D's stripping.. :( Not a happy or forgiving stereotype. I know that this is farthest from the image that he wants for me. I am going to have to do a lot of prep talking about how important this is for me before those two words come out of my mouth! :) I'll let you know how it goes!
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